I am in my early 20's and in college. I have people of varying ages taking

classes with me. There is this one nearly 40 male who will not quit hitting

on me though he knows I am married. In the last discussion we had, he

literally asked me to have an affair with him. I calmly responded to this by

saying that I am completely monogamous and would never consider it. My

question is this: How does one tell a guy to shove it ... well, you

understand... without damaging what is a necessary working relationship?

Irritated Student

Hi Irritated Student,

I know what you are thinking. Why isn't Lanfear or one of the other ladies with love advice answering this question? Hey... us guys have love advice too! We are not all about world domination and battle plans. I can prove it as I found a copy of Demandred's journal.

"Dear Diary,

Today was SOOO hard. I keep trying to hook up with Moggy but she keeps laughing at me and says I am not her type. She is such a meanie!!! Umm, here comes Ishy.. so I got to put on my gameface. I heart Moggy 4eva and eva.

Demandred"

That is just gold right there! Anyway, on to your serious question.

If you have set boundries, as it sounds like you have, but the guy still doesn't get it, then he will never wise up and will keep making advances. It doesn't really sound like this guy is interested in having a real friendship with you and he may interpret your classroom discussions as you flirting with him or that you are playing a game with him. I would suggest ceasing further discussions with this person which seems a little rude but is probably the only tactic that will get your point across.