Dear Chosen,

What are your views on cheesy movies?

Sincerely not Yours,

Thankfully free of Semirhage

Dear whatever your name is,

Cheesy movies? If by “cheesy†you mean “Scary Movie 4,†I love them! Not the content, naturally; they are far too full of idiotic humor to keep my attention for very long. I find them entertaining in a truly mechanical capacity. You see, the fools who laugh at those movies don’t take the real thing very seriously, either. It is a bit desensitizing to the general populace, thus making it easier on the rest of us. The need to be increasingly creative becomes more intrinsic and less necessity. Torture and depravity are far more entertaining when I’m not being forced to it.

On a lighter note, the “classic†cheesy movies like Hot Shots and Airplane are absolute quote magnets and even in my most creative moments, I’ve caught the phrase “and don’t call me Shirley†crossing my lips. Picture, if you will, a scrawny Andorian noble stretched on the rack, trying to appeal to my better nature with a plea of, “surely there’s some good left in you!†I wasn’t able to answer for a moment or two as a few of my Children twisted the ropes a bit tighter, but once his screams died down I could only answer, “I’m very good at my job, if that counts. And don’t call me Shirley.â€

He didn’t find that as entertaining as I did for some strange reason.

Maybe it was the three additional clicks the Children stretched the ropes, though.

~Mesaana

BTW (love these little shortcuts you people take these days), is anyone ever really “free†of Semirhage? I know I don’t let my toys leave me, I doubt very seriously she does, either. Watch your head, whatever your name is. It’ll be a trophy soon enough…