Movie Review - Shoot Em Up

[Emperor]

Now usually I would place my thoughts on a movie I rented in the "what are you watching" thread... but this movie deserves special mention... or warning.  I moved this to the top of my queue last week as I try to get a Blu Ray to my house each week.  This is harder than you think as there are only like 5 or 6 good movies on Blu Ray... and I have already seen them all. 

 

I am old.  Well I feel old... and compared to medium age of DMers, I am the ancient wise one you boy down to and feel compelled to carry my groceries across the street.  I only mention this painful fact as I generally go to bed early and get up early... even on the weekends.  Sleeping in for me is 9am.  The latest I can stay up is maybe.... maybe 11pm on Friday... and that is if I am playing a game or something.  Anyway... the wife can sleep in longer.. so I usually get up and go downstairs to watch some DVRed stuff or a movie.  So I mention that I am probably going to watch this movie the next morning to the wife and she seemed interesting in viewing it as well.  I am soooooo glad she got to watch it with me.

 

Now, I am going to spoil many scenes from this movie.  This is your warning... but it doesn't matter.  If you watch this movie after this review then there is little help for you. 

 

The movie starts off with Clive Owen entering into a gun fight... and near the end delivering a baby... and shooting the cord off.  What?  I mean... WTF!  One of the main reasons I wanted to even remotely see this is Paul Giamanti is in this.  Just awful.  I think if the movie had not been so poorly written he may have been actually quite good.  And if I had to pick ONE good thing about the movie is that Paul actually tried to act.  Clive Owen can't say the same thing.  Did you guys see Sin City?  Inside Man? King Artur? Yeah... it is the same character.  Except his main prop is a carrot.  I will shove a carrot through someone's head and out the back of it.  I will use the carrot to shoot my gun when my fingers are broken.  I will toss a carrot over some barrels... which will easily trick some baddies into shooting it, even though it is plainly not a human... and if it were a grenade ducking would be smarter than firing at it. 

 

This movie was terrible.  TERRIBLE. I felt stupider after watching this movie.  So much so that Encore family was showing Howard the Duck and Slam Dunk Ernest back to back... and I watched it.  I mean Kareem Abdul Jabar was an angel and gave Ernest some talking sneakers to slam dunk 5 foot goals against... and this is embarresing... the Charlotte Hornets and I still thought it might be better than Shoot Em Up.  Howard the Duck is just pure awesomeness though.... and after SEU, it felt like an Oscar contender. 

 

Sinister.. I am pretty sure you were the guy that wrote good things about this movie.  Put down the crack pipe and get help. 

[SinisterDeath]

I disagree with everything you said.

The movie wasn't as horrible as you say it was. It makes no apologies for having a simple plot, it doesn't try to.

 

Heres what seperates this movie, from other pure action movies.

Its an Action movie, that doesn't try to come off as being a complex plot. Its no Bourne, but its definately no 'rock' movie, that tries to have a plot attached to a high impact action movie. Simply put, Its pure action roller coaster ride from begining to end. There is no, 20 minute pause, with people jabbering the entire time, with 1-5 minute action bouts, followed by jabbering. Look at all the various action movies out there. They try to have a high impact action movie, with a 'plot', and the plot is ussually lame, and tries to come off as a 'complex' movie, on the level of that of the Bourne. This is not a deep and complex story, its a simple high impact action movie, that isn't trying to take its self seriously.

 

Ask your self this.

Were you entertained?

Did you shut your brain off for an hour and a half and just laugh at the action scenes because of how awesome yet, ridiculous they were?

And hey, at least the plot was better then some of the recent 'pure high impact action movies'. Its simplistic, for the type of story that was being told.

 

Plus, Clive Owen was buggs bunny, and Paul Giamanti was Elmer Fudd. How did you NOT get the looney toons refrence?!

+ How the HELL can you not like the scenes where he kills guys with his carrot! :P

[Guest Far Dareis Mai]

I agree with Empy. I'd rather allow my brain to melt watching Glitter, than this movie. In a few simple words: OVER THE TOP.

 

 

[SinisterDeath]

I agree with Empy. I'd rather allow my brain to melt watching Glitter, than this movie. In a few simple words: OVER THE TOP.

 

The point is though, its supposed to be over the top!

Its poking fun at the genre, and they did it in a way with out being to serious about it. Thats what makes it so great!

[Emperor]

If I want to watch Bugs Bunny, I will watch the cartoon.  I agree that the connection is crafty... but not worth watching the movie.  Stephen Segal makes action flicks as well... should I rent all of his movies?  If I want to watch a zombie flick, do I pick up House of the Dead?

 

Let me answer your question...

 

Was I entertained.... I was not.  If I had been in the theatre I would  have walked out.  The only reason I watched the movie was to ensure my review would be complete and the movie did not either get better...  or move into the "so bad it was awesome" category.  

 

Did I shut my brain down.... I do this for many movies I go to see.  This movie took suspending disbelief to a whole new level.  I didn't want to go to that scary place.

 

I went into the movie with very low expecations... which if failed to meet.  I rarely give movies on star on Netflix.  Amoung these are Oldboy, Ghost Rider and Fun with Dick and Jane.  I could almost watch the other ones again but I will avoid Shoot Em Up in the future.  

 

 

 

[SinisterDeath]

If I want to watch Bugs Bunny, I will watch the cartoon.  I agree that the connection is crafty... but not worth watching the movie.  Stephen Segal makes action flicks as well... should I rent all of his movies?  If I want to watch a zombie flick, do I pick up House of the Dead?

 

Lets take a standard Steven Sagal movie.

It has kung-fu, alot of action, horrible dialogue and plot. And the actors try to pull it off as something serious.

 

Compare this to Shoot Em'Up, It has tons of actions, not really 'horrible dialogue' but it makes use of alot of one-liners, and they are generally funny, in that dry sorta way. It doesn't take its self seriously.

 

Let me answer your question...

Was I entertained.... I was not.  If I had been in the theatre I would  have walked out.  The only reason I watched the movie was to ensure my review would be complete and the movie did not either get better...  or move into the "so bad it was awesome" category.  

 

I guess that makes you a movie snob. Not that thats a bad thing. ;)

You know, unless every movie - Bourne Ultimatium, they don't deserve being watched. :P

 

Did I shut my brain down.... I do this for many movies I go to see.  This movie took suspending disbelief to a whole new level.  I didn't want to go to that scary place.

 

Entering that scary place, is only half the fun! There are movies out there, that you want to keep your brain turned on, and ponder the deepness of it, for hours afterwards. Then there are movies, that you simply watch and enjoy the movie, for the length of it, you don't really ask questions aftewards. Hot Fuzz is one of those types of movies. Its not supposed to be deep, but rather making fun of its self, and poking fun at the genre. Which, Shoot Em'Up did, it poked fun at the genre.

 

I went into the movie with very low expecations... which if failed to meet.  I rarely give movies on star on Netflix.  Amoung these are Oldboy, Ghost Rider and Fun with Dick and Jane.  I could almost watch the other ones again but I will avoid Shoot Em Up in the future. 

 

I can't believe you just said, Ghost Rider > Shoot Em'Up... I mean really? REALLY? At least the bugs bunny refrences were funny! Unlike that hour and a half emo drivel called ghost rider! I'll never be able to change your oppinion on the movie, And Doing so would be utterly pointless. But you should at least enter the movie, not expecting something serious. I mean, from the sounds of it, most of you probably watched it, expecting something that was 'high octane' and full of pure awesome complex and deep plot. Its not that kinda movie! And its definately better then 99% of steven segals movies. (Except for that one where he dies in the first 10 minutes, and that dirty cop one, with all the big muscley guys, and that one black action actor guy, who's the good guy, and another who's the bad guy, but they were all better actors then segal, which makes it a good one, as all of seagals movies that sucked, he was the BEST actor in them, and the good ones, he was the only bad actor in it!)

 

and hey, it was still better the Triple X, State of the Union. :P