Well, now that I am getting my idiot bander child going, I will participate in this role call.

*hands Estel some flowers* those are for the ones that I ate. :D

Madness, what madness?

*cocks his head and listens to the voice inside his head* Ohhhhhhhh, that madness. :D

hurray, another drinking buddy

*gets more flowers and eats them*

err....

*laughes at kadere* haha, you got asked for an ID. We just lay around drinking, and you get asked for an ID! :D

no need to be confused, here, I picked you some new flowers.

*offers up some wilted flowers then goes on singing about flowers*

Hi Estel! :D

As for the personalities, we are in the BT! :D

lol, faile has a falcon as her avatar. :D I get it.

*gives faile some flowers* here to celebrate the new home.

*shoves some flowers down who he assumes to be Demi's thoat* here you go Isha.

*realizes that those were for Estel* oops

*shoves hand down throat, gets flowers, and offers them to Estel* no? Oh well, you loss.

*goes around singing about his flowers*

Noy was gazing down at Ged, who was looking very speechless at the moment. Then suddenly he burst out into laughter. Noy was a little shocked, of all the responses he had considered laughter was not among them. The laugh was very cynical and full of misery. Noy thought that Ged might be seriously considering suicide right now, for the laugh was full of hatred. Suddenly as it had started, the laughter came to a halt. Ged’s green eyes met Noy’s brown ones. He hoped his worry wasn’t showing in his eyes, he was worried about what Ged would do. "I am not going to kill myself" It was a dry tone, one that held misery. "You are right, this would be too easy by far. Just tell me another way how to live my life without those images and those faces of those I did kill always haunting me in my sleep and even when I am awake? I cannot say that this is the easy way to deal with it, but for one thing you are right, I will not change anything by just sitting here weeping like a child. I am sorry to have bothered you with my problems and ruined your meal. I know that I will never find anyone I will be able to call a friend in here, but I am here to learn and I will find a way to use this curse for something good one day. In fact that is the only reason why I did not decide to kill myself long since. I do not expect you will understand me, whatever lies in your past...you seemed to have been able to somehow cope with it in a better way than I have. I congratulate you on that and I will go now as not to bother you any further. Enjoy your meal and have a nice day, it was good to meet you after all."

Rage swept through Noy, not anger, but pure rage. The man was a fool a bloody goat-kissing fool. He thought he was so special, that he was the only one who was struggling. Ged was to hair-brained stupid to ask anyone for help, and to bloody one-sided to accept anything other than guilt. Ged pushed back his chair and stood. Noy’s hand grabbed Ged’s arm shaking with rage. To the Pit of Doom with half-truths made to comfort Ged and bring him around to Noy’s side of thinking, it was time to be blunt. Noy did not know why he was so mad, after all he did not expect Ged to change with one speech, it would take time; to the Pit of Doom with time. He yanked Ged back into his chair. “Ged, you say that you will never find a friend, but you know what I think? I think that you are trying to run from anyone who suggests friendship so you can shield yourself from the hate they are just so sure to feel for you. Maybe if you just stopped being so blind and stopped running from your problems, you would be able to move on. You say you are trying to change, but you are still being a fool. You think you are the only one who has a problem they can’t deal with. You say that I can deal with it so much better than you can. Do you know why I can deal with it? It’s because I had help, Ged. I didn’t just wake up one day and suddenly feel like I could move on, I had help from people.†Noy was panting, he had not raised his voice once, but he was still panting from anger and annoyance.

“I had a lot of help, and I am not all better, it still eats me up every time I think of my past. What makes you so certain that I hate you, that I will turn away from you and be angry with you? I am angry, yes, but it’s not because of what you did. It’s because of the bloody flaming fool that you are being now.†Noy was sure that his eyes were conveying his rage at the moment. “Do you want to know how to get the faces to stop haunting you? Are you ready to do anything to make up for what you have done? Well, the only way to stop the haunting is to make up for it. Do enough good that you can make up for what you did. It won’t be easy, and you can never erase the guilt of the lives you took, but if you do enough good, you will always know that you are a good person, and that the mistakes you made in the past were in fact mistakes. Eventually you will learn that you cannot dwell over all of your mistakes that you made before. The past is the past, and the future is the future, but now is the present. Don’t stay in the past; you have to move to the future. It may take long, or it may not, but to heal, you have to realize it, and really realize it.â€

Noy had already said that speech to himself a thousand times. With the help of his mentor, he had been able to realize the truth in the words. He had also realized that time never heals anything, but it does help to dull the pain. With his anger faded, it was time to see if anything he said had hit home with Ged. Noy released Ged’s arm, now there was not much else that Noy could do for Ged. He had the choice of accepting what Noy had said, or he could leave, and stay miserable. If he left, there was nothing else Noy could do to help him. If he stayed, they could both move on. Noy could only hope and prey to the Light that Ged listened and understood what Noy was trying to say.

ooc: you don’t have to accept it, you could leave and we could still be friends, you would just still be miserable. :D Don’t worry about character development stuff, I won’t try to change Ged in this thread, or for a while, but this is kinda like, getting on the right path sorta thing.

ooc: wooohooo I am the first to break in the Dragon Mount BT RP boards!!! I can't post the Dates because they differ from person to person, but I will post the well, poster :D

Writen by jasonr

ooc: Open to everyone, no specifications, feel free to join in whenever, this is just a fun, get to know each other kind of thread.

IC: It had been a hard morning for Noy, as always he got up before sunrise, a habit borne from years of running a farm by himself. Unfortunately, Isha also arose before the sun, and once he saw Noy, he insisted that they get an early start on the day. Running, practice with the sword, and other similar labor, did not seem to hard alone, but when they were together, they were tiring, not to mention that Isha was the one who coordinating it all. Noy sighed, he knew that it was all helping him and keeping him ready for Saidin, but Light, did it always have to be so tiring before they even had proper light to see with.

Noy stumbled, bloody roots, and realized that in his thinking, he wandered off near the woods. He chuckled at his absent-mindedness and sat down, leaning against a tree. Noy took hold of Saidin and experimented with Air. He started with a club, and then saw that he could do other things with Air. Noy had seen other men making swords of the One Power. Mainly Fire and Earth made swords, though he had heard that you could make one out if Air. Noy remembered seeing one Asha’man do one made out of Air though. He stood up at his full five feet and eleven inches tall, brown eyes flashing with eagerness, and started doing a semi-complex weave. He misplaced a thread and it collapsed with a bang, which left him blinking and rubbing at his ears. He sighed and lowered his head, which caused his very black hair to fall down to his eyes. It was a weave of only Air, which he finally completed as the one Asha’man had.

While Noy was marveling over his achievement, the sun was just peeking over the horizon, and he decided to experiment with some other weaves. Noy made a fireball like weave called Poof, it was similar to a fireball, but about the size of a wooden toothpick. Many people considered it to be useless, as it was not remotely fatal. Noy had come on an idea though, he wrapped the thing in flows of Air, and sent it flying with impressive accuracy. It was fun; it could even be used as a sport! His tiredness, temporarily forgotten, did not stay latent for long. A wave of exhaustion from the earlier exercises and using Saidin for a while right after swept over him, so he decided to sit down against the tree again. Noy leaned his head back, and thought of the lessons to come during the day, about the Taint, about many things and he slowly…

……………………………………………..

Noy cracked his eyes open, he had a nice nap, the sun was glistening through the leaves of the tree, beating down from the middle of the sky… The middle of the sky! There was no way he had slept that long. “Light Isha is going to be mad if I am late.†He rushed off in the direction of Isha’s house, and stopped when a loud grumble shook his stomach. “Well, maybe I can go to the Inn. After all, it is time for the mid-day meal.†He changed course and headed towards the Inn. Noy opened the door and saw that there was only one empty table; usually it was not this packed. He sat down at it and put his chin at the table, facing the door to the kitchen, he had learned his lesson about walking into the kitchen in search of a serving maid. Noy sighed and waited for someone to walk to him, wishing he had something to cure his boredom.

ooc: I have the Poof thing previously approved by Dali, and sorry Estel, I always seem to be saying “Isha made me do thisâ€, “Isha taught me thatâ€, and remember everyone, like I said on the OOC boards, its open to everyone, nothing holding you back.

Written by TheWitchKing

ooc: Well we have not met formaly, soo tis as a good chance as ever to do soo.

IC: For the first time in many months Brand had a day off from training and teaching. So in his usual fashion, he decided to sleep in late and regain as much energie as possible. Waking at mid day, he scrubed his mouth and made his way to the bathroom in the dedicated barracks. A normal sized room greated him as he entred, but it was filled with tubs of many sizes and a large fire pit were a tub of water steamed. Filling a bucket and grabbing a ladle, Brand undressed and hoped into a tub. The fealing of warm water seeping through his skin relaxed him greatly and he spend a good half hour washing himself.

Slipping into a new set of clothes, he pollished the the sword pin on his collar and after putting on his hight cut boots, he made his way to the Inn. It was unusual for it to be so packed at this time of day, but then again, the Asha'man and Dedicated's mess was not finnished yet. Peering around he spotted only one table that was free. It had a soldier that he did not know sitting on it, but there was no room, so he made his way over and sat down. The soldier looked up from his day dreaming and Brand smilled. "Hello, im Dedicated Brand Ishmar, do you mind if I sit here?"

Writen by jasonr

ooc: FYI energy not energie lol. I’m going to make a reference to your eyes; both you and Drenn have them right?

IC: Noy looked up as a man approached him. The man walked up and Noy could see clearly now the silver sword-shaped pin on his collar. As he started to straiten, the man said, "Hello, im Dedicated Brand Ishmar, do you mind if I sit here?" Noy was unsure whether to salute the friendly man or not. He certainly would not deny him the chair, but some men here were picky about these things. In the end he decided to remain seated but erect, and leave out the salute. “Of course Dedicated, you are welcome to sit here.†Noy remembered something about this man, he had never met him before, but the name sparked a memory. It was… Something about eyes, Noy looked up at Brand, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and saw what he had never expected to see on a man; black eyes, not just the pupils, but the entire eye, what would have been white too.

Noy blinked a few times at this phenomenon, and remembered that there was another man, Dedicated Drenn, who also had eyes like this. “Uhh, if you don’t mind me asking, are you and Dedicated Drenn related, I mean, you have the same colored eyes. Well actually, lack of color.†Noy blinked a few times, he was such an idiot. You are not supposed to point out a man’s abnormalities, especially not in a place of men channelers. Oh, well, it was to late to take back the words now, and Noy was really curios about the answer. Noy shifted around nervously waiting for the answer; well, he had wanted something to cure his boredom, but he hadn’t wanted anything dangerous. He decided to speak again to draw attention away from his foolishness and the dangerous subject. “Do you, uhh, know a way to get the people out of the kitchen, the last time I tried I ended up in Dash’s bad books.†Noy paled a bit, Light he was always letting ‘Dash’ slip out. “I mean, M’hael Haran Dashiva,†he blurted out.

Noy laughed nervously, he seemed to be wilting here. Noy could not wait until he became Dedicated and was at least higher in rank then SOMEONE. He took in a deep breath then let it out, he could not have everyone thinking he was a fool now could he? Noy was sure that this man already did, so it didn’t matter anyway. He waited for Brand to reply to his questions, and hoped that he was not mad about the eye inquiry. He was trying to take deep breaths without being obvious about it while he waited for Brand’s answer.

written by TheWitchKing

ooc: Ok, well the dreaded eye thing question... Death, if you read this, I have found a pretty good background for our abnormality, soo I hope you dont mind if I blab it out here and now.

IC: Brand almost broke out in laughter as he watched the man spring up and look as if he would salute sitting in his chair, which was bound to knock something or some one over. “Of course Dedicated, you are welcome to sit here.†Chuckling, Brand ploped himsefl down on the seat next to the soldier. He was too used to people stairing, open mouthed at his eyes to notise the soldier doing just that, but he was supprised that the man had the guts to ask him about them. Grinning ear to ear, he nodded to the man and was just about to answer him just as the soldier talk again. “Do you, uhh, know a way to get the people out of the kitchen, the last time I tried I ended up in Dash’s bad books.â€

The change of subject put Brand off guard, but he quickly caught up. His smile broadning he tuged off a talisman of earth that hanged on his neck and slipping just the slightest amount of Saidin into it, he tosed it towards the door of the kitchen. The little talisman erupted in a loud bang that woke the serving man and tosed him out of his seat. The boy rubbed his head and looked about catching Brand wave, his eyes widened and he rushed off to grab food from inside the kitchen. Turning back to the Soldier, Brand smirked. "You always have to wake those bleeding servers, they always seem to fall asleep at the least opertune moments. Usualy, when one introduces himself to some one, they also give there name, but since you look like you are 14 witers old right now, I will let that slip. As for me and Dedicated Drenn's eyes, if you are ready to a long story, I am happy to tell it to you. There arnt many people in the Black Tower that have the guts to ask us about them, but you have them, and for that I like you and will tell you."

Brand watched the soldier nod before starting. "Back during the time were there were both men and woman channalers worked with out fear or with out the taint, the time know as the Age of Legends, one man reserched how to revive the life force of some one dead. In short, how to resurect them. During his reserch, he uncovered many things about Saidin and on the eve of the breakthrough, he lost controle over the source and it incured a terrible back lash. The very thing he was trying to discover turned againts him, and instead of giving back the vital energy of the dead, Saidin eat away at the man's color pigment of his skin and eyes. Some say it was a curse given from the Creator to punish him of trying to change what the Creator had done. Anyway, that man had the stupidity to go and have children after that, and it seem that his curse was inherited by his two children. One boy and one girl, they both got married and then the original house split in two. As time passed the great sundering the broke the world, the two fammilies were sepperated... So it comes to now, and two men, both can channal, both have what seems to be the curse. It seems that me and Drenn might be related in a kind of way, but not of close kin, we are just cousin's long sepparated, the main branch of the fammily, mine, became Lords, while Drenn's half turned to farming..."

written by jasonr

ooc: well, if it ate at the color pigments in his skin, wouldn't his skin be snow white?

And I am assuming that the weave you used was grenade? In this post I am going to have another one of those "blame Isha" references. I really should stop doing that so much. You should try using Word before posting, lol. My comp kept picking up all of your spelling errors. Seeing as I had nothing better to do, I fixed all of the grammatical and spelling errors, I should really get a book, or better yet, a life.

IC: Noy watched as Brand took a talisman from around his neck and put a small amount of Saidin in it, fast enough that he barely saw what the man did. Grenade, Noy thought the weave was, his eyes widened when he realized the weave, what use would he have for that particular weave? Noy breathed out a sigh of relief when the talisman erupted with a loud bang in mid-air, awaking the sleeping serving man. The man then saw Brand and rushed into the kitchen to fetch food. "You always have to wake those bleeding servers, they always seem to fall asleep at the least opportune moments.†Noy smiled at this, he had not had much experience with servants or any hired workers, mainly because he was a farmer in Amadicia. Noy was glad that he successfully distracted Brand until he then answered his other question. “Usually, when one introduces himself to some one, they also give there name, but since you look like you are 14 winters old right now, I will let that slip. As for me and Dedicated Drenn's eyes, if you are ready to a long story, I am happy to tell it to you. There aren’t many people in the Black Tower that have the guts to ask us about them, but you have them, and for that I like you and will tell you."

Brand waited for Noy to nod then, "Back during the time were there were both men and woman channelers worked without fear and without the taint, the time know as the Age of Legends, one man researched how to revive the life force of some one dead; in short, how to resurrect them. During his research, he uncovered many things about Saidin and on the eve of the breakthrough, he lost control over the source and it incurred a terrible backlash. The very thing he was trying to discover turned against him, and instead of giving back the vital energy of the dead, Saidin ate away at the man's color pigment of his skin and eyes. Some say it was a curse given from the Creator to punish him of trying to change what the Creator had done. Anyway, that man had the stupidity to go and have children after that, and it seem that his two children inherited his curse. One boy and one girl, they both got married and then the original house split in two. As time passed the great sundering that broke the world, the two families were separated... So it comes to now, and two men, both can channel, both have what seems to be the curse. It seems that me and Drenn might be related in a kind of way, but not of close kin, we are just cousin's long separated, the main branch of the family, mine, became Lords, while Drenn's half turned to farming..."

Noy was fascinated and at the same time speechless when Brand ended his story. It was amazing that he was able to collect all of this in the limited resources that they had here, although he had said that he was a lord. “I cannot say anything that can top that, I am just a farmer, and do not have any knowledge of my heritage beyond my greatfather.†It was pure truth, he did not want to lie to this man, in fact, and Noy believed that he might become friends with him. The risky side of Noy took hold and he decided to say, “If you don’t mind, can I call you Brand? My back round as a farmer does not fit well with all these titles and ranks. The other day I accidentally called M’hael Haran Dashiva ‘Dash’ to his face.†Noy laughed at his slips, he had done it previously in the conversation, but Brand did not seem to catch that. “Of course, that could be from the influence of my mentor, Isha Talcontar.†It was also the truth, Isha was not one for formalities, at least when they were in private. When they were in public, well that was another story, after all Isha was Shinarian. “By the way, my name is Noy Lugay, and I the last time I checked I had seen a few more winters than that, although sometimes I can make cause for doubt,†Noy smiled at his pun and then realized that he had told Brand a lot, and if the friendly man was one for formalities after all, then he could be in deep trouble.

Noy smiled, he doubted his curiosity would allow him to be silent for long anyway. It was risky business, talking to a Lord about rank and titles, but there was something about the man, and Brand had already said that he liked him; Brand liked boldness apparently, and there was not much he could do to be bolder. Noy became a little nervous when waiting for the answer; maybe he was not so completely sure of himself then.

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

Ged didn´t know when he ever had risen out of bed without being dead tired feeling not to have slept at all. It was a vicious circle. At night he dropped into his bed exhausted and instantly falling asleep soundly, only to be awakened some hours later -hours if he was lucky, if he wasn´t only minutes later - jerking awake his heart pounding as if it wanted to explode inside his chest.

Light he would give anything to be able to just forget what he had done before he had come to the Black Tower, what had caused him to find his cursed ability to channel the One Power ruining his own life.

When he had been a boy, Ged had always been dreaming of having adventures like the Hunters of the Horn in the Stories. But now he had to face the brutal ruthless truth telling him that having adventures meant losing his home, his family and everything he had held dear once only to be casted in a struggle for life and sanity, being haunted by what he had done, already feeling at the brink of insanity and almost wanting to embrace death just to end his seemingly ever-lasting misery.

Still Ged knew that he would have to stay alive to repent his deeds and live up to at least try to make some good for all the killing he had done. Ten men and his own mother haunted him each and every night constantly reminding him of what he had done and what he was here for.

So Ged almost welcomed the hard labour and training he was put under inside the Black Tower. Right now he was running through the woods driven by the bellowing tone of the Asha´man who was giving him another physical training lesson. Panting and his lungs on fire, Ged still held on to his speed, not allowing himself to slow down, willingly to push himself to his very limit as would be expected of him, knowing that he would do well after all, able to endure anything required of him, since nothing could ever get near what he deserved for what he had done in his former life. A life he on the one hand wanted to ban and forget, but on the other hand was filled with a great longing for going back to Baerlon to keep up farming and helping his parents in the house. But his parents were both dead. No denial. No mercy.

When he was at the brink of physical breakdown, his lungs on fire and his vision already blurring from effort and sweat matting his face, the lesson was suddenly finished and all Ged could do apart from just falling down on the ground, too exhausted to remain standing even a second longer, was clutching at a tree, lowering himself down leaning against the thick trunk, panting and closing his eyes to recover and make himself think clearly again.

When he opened his eyes again though, Ged suddenly realized that all his fellow Soldiers seemed to have gone already and being on his own the only thing bringing him back to alertness was a loud rumble inside his stomach - his hollow stomach.

Sighing deeply Ged drew himself up and on still wobbling legs made his way out of the forest and downhill intent on searching his fellow Soldiers but even more intending to find some inn to get some food into his belly.

Although the first attempt to find his fellows seemed futile, Ged was glad to spot an inn nearby and entering it led by the delicious smell of freshly cooked food and wine Ged realized that the inn was packed with people, apparently as hungry as himself at this time of day. But still he was lucky to spot a free chair at one of the tables in the back of the inn, on which already two men were sitting apparently deeply absorbed in talk.

Ged caught up something about black eyes and the books of "Dash", for a second he paused in his motion as he recognized the two black-coated figures as Noy and a Dedicated - according to his silver sword pin decorating the collar of his black coat - who Ged hadn´t met before.

"Hello", Ged said to make himself heard, "May I join you two in your conversation in food as I am afraid this place seems to be really packed with people. My name is Ged Maevere anyway, but just call me Ged. I´m rather new at the Farm, so...errh...if you want to keep on your own, it´s ok for me and I´ll find somewhere else..."

written by jasonr

ooc: hurray! Another person!!! And I am going to make the serving boy FINALLY come out. Geez that kid was slow, or maybe it’s just that we forgot to RP him coming out of the kitchen. *looks considering* hmmm.

IC: Before Brand could respond, another man came to them; Ged was what Noy thought his name was. Ged said, looking very tired, "Hello, may I join you two in your conversation in food as I am afraid this place seems to be really packed with people. My name is Ged Maevere anyway, but just call me Ged. I’m rather new at the Farm, so...errh...if you want to keep on your own, it’s ok for me and I’ll find somewhere else..." Noy grinned, if he sat here if would put a stop to the conversation, but he was in the friendly type of mood. “Of course Ged, it’s fine with me if you sit down here, we can talk about things later, I guess.†The last bit was directed at Brand, for Noy still did not know the answer to his question.

When he looked at Ged again his smile grew broader, the man was absolutely exhausted. “Don’t worry Ged, the food will be coming out- oh, there it is now.†He said as the serving boy brought food. Luckily, the boy brought a few extra plates and a huge mound of food. Someone must have seen Ged sit down. Noy only waited for the tray and plates to get on the table, then he grabbed a plate and heaped food onto it. Between bites he asked, “So, how was your class, you look exhausted, here have a plate.†Noy passed him a plate and slid the food carefully over to where he sat. Noy joyfully munched down on his food and looked smiled at Ged. Ged was a mirror of how Noy looked when he finished physical training, but he didn’t have hours to sleep it off right after.

ooc: AHHHHH tiny post, I can usually do better than this.

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

Smiling at Noy thankfully as the young man offered him a seat at their table, Ged sat down gratefully, his legs still hurting and every muscle in his body seeminly strained and aching as if standing on fire.

Shifting uneasily he tried to bring himself in a halfway comfortable position untill he gave up sighing deeply. There just didn´t seem any single muscle in his body which didn´t protest fiercely as he put weight upon it, in fact he seemed to be aware of muscles he didn´t even know he had. So Ged remained seated rather akwardly resolving that there was no cure but standing it for now, sildently hoping it would get better with the time and wincing immediately on the thought how long it would take him to get used enough to the physical training not to feel it any longer. For one moment Ged earnestly doubted he would be able to harden himself in such a way at all. Despite being used to hard farmwork from his home village, life at the BlackTower had proved to be a real challenge to both his body and mind. But eager to learn as much as possible and intent on keeping his oath, Ged knew he would be steadfast and bear whatever might still come.

Again a loud rumble escaped his stomach and Ged realized gladly that just that very moment the food was brought in as Noy was telling him. Looking at the huge plate of food Noy had tossed over to him, Ged thanked him, smiling openly at him and dug into his food eager to fill the hollow gnawing at him from inside his stomach.

When asked about his training lesson, Ged´s mouth twisted into a rueful vexed smile and he asked between two bites of food: "Well I survived it. But Light it is hard and I´m aching all over. Will it always be like that? I sometimes have the feeling that they are only satisfied when they have driven us nearly to physical breakdown. Already now I feel like having hauled sacks of grain for a whole week and the day is barely half over." Ged let out a sigh of resignation and made himself smile, wanting to cover his own weakness he was feeling by now being the person to ask questions to Noy and the other strange man - his eyes startling Ged, since they seemed to be completely drained of any colour but pure black, not only the pupil, but the entire eye, somehow it scared Ged and made him alert. But feeling no threat from the other man he didn´t want to insult him or be impolite and so quickly lowered his stare again, concentrating on his food and glancing over to the two men opposite him, asking: "How long have you been here anyways and how did you come to find your way to the Black Tower? Did you get there on your own like me or were you brought in by any of those recruiters I heard rumours speak of?"

As the question was out, Ged bit his lip, wondering frantically if he had gone too far in asking these rather personal questions once again cursing himself for his own curiosity and hoping not to have put the other two men off by questioning them abut themselves knowing how he himself had reacted when first asked about how he had come to the Black Tower. But still Ged still felt so new around here and rather lonely besides and he really could do with someone to talk to and maybe he would even find some friends around here. Men who were like him, who shared the same fate, the same curse.

written by jasonr

ooc: hurray! Someone has asked the question of where are you from!!! Noy has been in the BT IC time for about as long as you have, maybe shorter. I was going to put this up on the OOC boards and then I saw this post, I am going on a long-overdue spring break in a week from tomorrow, anyone who wants to post on this and Faile&Witch, just go one without me. Huzzah, I finally have an Isha training session that actually happened to speak of.

IC: Noy laughed at Ged’s question, he should know by now that every physical training class would be like that. “Ged you should know by now that every class would be like that, and why are you asking me? You have been here as long as I have.†Ged was lucky, he was not living with a Shenarian warrior who considered what they were sweating over refreshing work. Noy remembered in his first class where Isha said they would learn about Saidin. For starters, he made huge clubs of air and wrecked the tops of trees, then wove an explosive ward Noy did not know the name of, and incinerated everything. Then he expected him to clean it all up, roots and all! “If we can’t handle the physical workouts, how in the Pit of Doom to we expect to handle Saidin.†By “we†Noy meant Ged, but did not want to single him out. Noy nearly choked holding in his laughter, when Ged noticed Brand’s eyes, luckily his face did not turn red. “Oh, I forgot to introduce Dedicated Brand Ishmar.â€

Brand was silent and Ged went on to ask, "How long have you been here anyways and how did you come to find your way to the Black Tower? Did you get there on your own like me or were you brought in by any of those recruiters I heard rumors speak of?" Noy tensed slightly as painful memories were brought to the surface. Only two people knew the truth of how he was here, Isha and Rion, he did not see much of Rion, and Isha never talked about the past. What Noy told people was that he was brought in by recruitment parties, but that wasn’t the whole truth. The whole truth was simple; he was dragged through the gateway from Amadicia, well, lifted on flows of Air really. For many people, that would not seem bad. After all, he now accepts the Power so nothing is wrong, right? Well, unfortunately there was a little more to his story. What he had left behind was a three-month-pregnant wife with no family other than his parents, unable to make a living, and no one else to take care of her and his inborn child. Noy remembered Rion telling him that he could go back for his wife, but there was an explanation for that too. Noy suppressed thoughts of his wife the best he could, but he suppressed thoughts of his homeland with desperation. He could avoid reality and have childish fancies about going back for his wife but thoughts of Amadicia reminded him that it could not be so.

Noy was from Amadicia, and that meant that his wife was too. Noy had been forced by fate to accept the Power, and abandon the belief that humans cannot use it else the Creator would punish them. His wife, Mara, shared no such revelations. There was no way that Mara could willingly accept him being able to channel, it would crush her. Better for her to think him dead or gone than the alternative. With a small, unnoticeable shudder, Noy forced on a smile and made his tone light and uncaring. “I’ve been here about as long as you, like I said, and I was brought here by recruitment parties.†Noy remembered what he had felt when he came, hatred, surprise… fear. Hatred went away quickly, surprise took longer, and he was still afraid. Noy was surprised at how quickly his hate went away, it lessened with his understanding.

“Where did you live before coming to the Black Tower?†Noy blinked as he said it. Light, he was such a fool; they would expect him to tell them where he came from also. It was a great way to keep a secret, go around telling everybody what it was. As Noy waited for them to respond, he thought as quickly as he could of a way to get out of the situation, but was not very successful.

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

“Ged you should know by now that every class would be like that, and why are you asking me? You have been here as long as I have.†Ged nodded a small miserable grin escaping him as he realized how right Noy was about that. Indeed he wouldn´t have the slightest chance in "real" One Power training if he didn´t get used to the physical education he had to go through.

"Yeah, I know, I know", Ged said with a rueful smile, "Just let me whine for awhile and dream of going back to farming work and I´ll be all right", he chuckled about himself as he realized how foolish he was acting. After all it was his own fault, his own cursed self which had brought him into this and there was no way out but gritting his teeth and making the best of it.

Gladly for a change of topic, Ged nodded in greeting to "Dedicated Brand Ishmar", as Noy introduced the man with the peculiar black eyes sitting opposite him and to his embarrassment Ged realized that he had openly stared at the man, so that he barely kept himself from blushing now as he shook the other man´s hand in welcome and shot him an apologetic look, hoping the other man would take no offense of his behavour.

As he asked Noy where he had come from and how long he had been at the Black Tower though, Ged noticed Noy suddenly getting uneasy and he didn´t have to think long to realize that the other man wasn´t telling him the complete truth when he was saying rather vaguely and apparently wanting to change the topic: “I’ve been here about as long as you, like I said, and I was brought here by recruitment parties.â€

Ged nodded understanding. Appaently there was much more beyond what Noy was willing to tell him about his background and suddenly noticing Noy´s sad and melancholic look in his eyes, Ged knew that there was indeed a lot that Noy was keeping silent and that obviously was paining him deeply.

Stiffling a sigh in comiseration, Ged for one time wished he could also tell Noy what was troubling him so much, but he knew he couldn´t tell anyone about it, unless he wanted to be regarded as a monster.

His eyes bulged nearly when he thought of what his question about Noy´s history had caused though. Now he would inevitably also have to tell about himself and his past and judging Noy´s own reluctance about telling about himself, Ged dreaded the question which was to come from him inevitably, as it did, too.

“Where did you live before coming to the Black Tower?â€

Ged swallowed and had to lick his lips as his mouth suddenly had gone dry when he was confronted with the very question he dreaded most to be asked. Frantically searching his mind in order to find something to tell Noy and Brand without actually lie to them, considering that the only one who really knew that he had burned ten people alive and killed his own mother by accident when channelling for the first time which also had happened by accident as far as Ged had been concerned, he still knew he was the one responsible for eleven deaths. Even if he had killed the ten men at the inn only to protect himself and in a blood rage wanting to avenge his father.

Fighting back a wince and a sigh of sadness and guilt, a cold shiver running down his spine when he was thinking about the screeches and begging faces haunting him in his dreams as well as in the waking world each day as a constant reminder of his black out and of his true monstrous nature, Ged briefly closed his eyes and sighed still not knowing what to say, so he decided to stick as close to the truth as he could without giving away the essential facts. Without making them hate him for what he had done. Light he wished he could make all of it never to have happened. He would do anything to bring them back to life. To have his mother back and see her laugh at his foolshness again. But still Ged knew he couldn´t change what he had done and had to live with it whether he wanted to or not.

"I...have grown up in Baerleon, a small town in Andor where I lived with my parents", Ged began reluctantly. "The day when I channelled for the first time my dad died by a gambler´s dagger and I was so enraged that...", Cursing himself for a lightblinded fool, Ged knew he had gone too far, it had to get out one way or another and somehow he had to keep silent about all the people he had killed. "That..that I burned down the entire inn and as a result of that was driven out of the town. You know they were not pleased at all about me having burned down the inn having created fire seemingly out of nowhere...then I heard the rumours about the Black Tower and I knew I had to get here, only I took sick and got a long fever and...and I don´t know much more about how I got there, since the first thing I remembered was lying in bed in Rion´s room here and he introduced me to the Black Tower."

There it was out. Ged had to struggle to keep himself from giving himself away by a strained sigh. He had told them as much as he could by now. He hoped that maybe he would be able to talk about what had really happened that fateful day at the inn one day without being immediately driven away or just killed at the spot. He really didn´t want anything more but to find a friend in here who could understand him and with who he could talk about such things, but in the same instant it hit him, that no one knowing the truth about him could ever really want to befriend Ged. Not if he wasn´t beyond the brink of madness already.

Shifting on his chair uneasily, but still trying to cover it, Ged concentrated on his food again not to let his uneasiness about that topic be showing too much.

written by jasonr

ooc: hurray! I have caused unease and misery. All in a day’s work. Little known fact: Shai’tan is Arabic for Satan.

IC: Noy was wracking his brain for an answer to his own question when Ged said, "I...have grown up in Baerleon, a small town in Andor where I lived with my parents. The day when I channelled for the first time my dad died by a gambler´s dagger and I was so enraged that...That..that I burned down the entire inn and as a result of that was driven out of the town. You know they were not pleased at all about me having burned down the inn having created fire seemingly out of nowhere...then I heard the rumours about the Black Tower and I knew I had to get here, only I took sick and got a long fever and...and I don´t know much more about how I got there, since the first thing I remembered was lying in bed in Rion´s room here and he introduced me to the Black Tower.â€

Silently, Noy cursed himself and Ged, but mostly Ged. He had asked the man where he came from, not his bloody life story. Noy took a deep breath and knew that he was only mad because he would have to tell more about him self also. Suddenly a thought came to him, what if he… “Were any people hurt in the fire?†Light, channeling had not changed him that much; he would not hurt another to avoid memories. “No, don’t answer that.†Noy sighed, now there was no avoiding it, he had to tell them. He took a deep breath and prepared to tell them the truth, well, some of the truth. “It was true that I had been brought in by the recruitment parties, but you would not imagine where I was brought from.†He knew he was the only Amadician here, they had just started making trips into Amadicia and Noy was the first one. “I was brought in from Amadicia, and I was not as… eager, as I am now.â€

Now Noy would let their brains rack and eventually come up with something close to the truth. “Ged, if something else did happen in that Inn, I would not blame you for it. I like you, and it was not your fault. The Dark One is responsible for our exile, and we should not blame ourselves for his cruelty.†This was a matter he had thought of for a long time. He would stay up some nights thinking of where the fault fell. Every time, the Dark One always held the blame. Light, he just told someone else to forget their bad memories and move on, but he could not do the same himself. He wished he could move on, but he knew that as long as he left Mara abandoned and alone to take care of his child, he would never be able to let go. As long as Mara remained, he could never sever his ties with his homeland completely.

ooc: sorry to any oldbies who know/knew an Asha’man from Amadicia, but I can’t bring any to mind.

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

After he had stopped telling his "story" Ged looked around trying to figure out how the others around him might take it when Noy suddenly raised his voice in a curious question:

“Were any people hurt in the fire?â€

Ged winced and shut his eyes for a second as if he could block out Noy´s question by doing so as well as all those faces conjuring up in front of hs eyes again. He failed miserably to do both, but when he took a breath and opened his eyes again, Noy was already saying with an unspoken misery mingled in his voice:

“No, don’t answer that.†Gedd looked over to the Soldier who seemed to be his own age and noticed that he looked as miserable himself as Ged was feeling that very moment. Obviously he had his own painful memories he wanted to avoid and Ged was sorry for the pain he was seeing in the other man´s eyes, when Noy continued to speak: “It was true that I had been brought in by the recruitment parties, but you would not imagine where I was brought from.I was brought in from Amadicia, and I was not as… eager, as I am now.â€

Ged looked at Noy puzzled about that answer, thinking about what his home country could have had to do with the misery Ged was seeing in the dark man´s eyes. Ged didn´t know much about Amadicia, being no more than a simple Farmboy he didn´t know much of the world, but somehow the name Amadicia rang a bell in his head. There had been Children of the Light in Baerleon for a few weeks before Ged had left, he recalled and someone in an inn mentioned that they were striving far from Amadicia in search of Darkfriends again. Ged shuddered by the mere thought of those Children of the Light, somehow their looks and what rumours were telling about their methods of questioning had made him uneasy whenever he walked by one in the streets and he carefully tried to avoid them as well as he could.

For just a brief moment the thought occured to Ged´s mind what those Children of the Light might do to a man that could channel, considered the fact that they were known to kill even Aes Sedai because of their abiltiy to touch the True Source. Ged couldn´t supress shivering this time and at first was glad to be distracted from such thoughts when Noy started to speak again only to find out that it even let his heart sink more than it had before.

Hearing Noy speak of the One Power and the Dark One in that fashion, he didn´t know whether he should laugh or cry. Shaking his head slowly and raising his eyes to look into Noy´s while he spoke - he actually didn´t know why he was doing that, was he only trying to confirm what he already knew, that Noy would see a monster in him despite what he had just told him before?

"You know how often I´ve been trying to tell myself the same, Noy? And by the love of the Light I wish it could be so easy to just believe what you say. But I know what happened, I know what I did this day, what I did, I. Neither the Dark One, nor the One Power, but I myself!" Suddenly unable to face Noy anymore, afraid of what he might see in his eyes when he continued, Ged lowered his eyes, not even realizing that tears of sadness and desperation were running down his face. "You know they killed my father that night. Simply because of a stupid game of cards. Just killed him. Stabbed him right in the heat like some animal. I...I came to look for him after he didn´t come home...and...there he was...then. I...I didn´t know what happened then exactly, I just was too furious and angry at everyone around who were just laughing and pointing with their knives at me...Then...I don´t know how but suddenly i felt some power inside me and when I looked around again, I had killed everyone around me in one strike. Ten men. Ten." Ged paused as he thought his voice might fail him if he talked any further now. But he know that once he had began telling the truth now, he had to carry it too its end as well, "But this is not the end of it...when...when I turned around as someone entered the inn behind me, I just struck out without even looking...I...I just killed without thinking. I...oh Light, I killed my own mother who had come for me because she was worried why Da and me were so late. Light I wished I could make it all undone, but...but I know what I did and I´ll never be able to forgive myself what happened, knowing that it was I who did it, I who is to blame."

Shivering uncontrollably, tears now running freely down his cheeks, Ged suddenly straightened himself and made himself look at the two men opposite him, the two men he thought in a foolish fancy could have turned out to be his friends, but now he knew they would never bring themselves to like him, let alone let him live on knowing what he had done.

"I don´t blame you if you want me to go now. I won´t even resist if you are trying to kill me now that you know the truth", as if to emphasize what he had just said, Ged raised his hands and laid them palms down on the wooden table for them to see that he meant no harm. Perhaps it was even better like that now. The truth was out and if they decided to kill him now maybe it was the best for everyone.

OOC: Yep, Jason, you did succeed. And sorry for my long post, just kick me when you think I´m rambling too much...

written by jasonr

ooc: Not to long. I love long posts, I can’t seem to find the inspiration to make mine very long right now though. Humph, you are just making it so dramatic because you know I will be your friend anyways.

IC: Noy was shocked when Ged revealed the truth of his past, he blamed himself for the deaths, and it was his fault partially. Noy felt the need to help the man, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to say that it was the Dark One’s fault, explain to Ged all of his logic, but Noy knew that Ged would not accept it. He would just turn in on himself, perhaps commit suicide; he had already said he would let them take his life. Anger swept through Noy, Ged thought he was the only one who had ever made a mistake, he thought that he was alone. Noy would smack Ged if he thought it would make any difference. Noy remembered when he was young, his father was shot with an arrow in a hunting accident. It was nothing fatal, and his father refused to see the doctor. (ooc: in Amadicia, they have hedge-doctors because the women fear the White Cloaks accusing them of being able to channel) His greatfather laughed at his father’s stubbornness, and wrenched the arrow out. Noy’s father was glaring at him, and he said, “If you are going to heal the stubborn way, you have to go through the pain first.†A wise man, his greatfather, even the women rarely called him a fool, or insulted him.

If Ged wanted to heal the stubborn way, he would have to go through the pain. Noy wrapped himself up in the void, but did not take hold of Saidin, for that would draw attention from everyone in the Inn. Noy needed the cold emotionless voice for this part. Noy clamped down on Ged’s shoulders, and forced the man to look into his eyes. “You killed ten men.†It was not a question, it was not an accusation, it was simply said. “Then you killed your mother,†it was the same tone as his other statement. Now it was time for the accusations, the arrow might hurt coming out, but it had to come out or you could never heal properly. “What are you going to do about it?†This was in an accusing tone, and he jabbed Ged’s chest with his finger. “Are you going to commit suicide? Throw away your life like it means nothing, just like that? Do you honestly think that it will change anything, your death? Will, it bring your mother back? Will it bring those men back? Will it bring back the Inn, and the others you hurt? You ended eleven lives, possibly more, and ruined the lives of many people in your town. How can you atone for it, will killing yourself make their lives any better? Is it really about that, or are you just being selfish and trying to take the easy way out? You can help them, and atone for what you have done, but instead you give up and practically ask us to kill you. What are you going to do?†he repeated.

Noy did not enjoy saying these things, but if Ged was going to be stubborn, Noy would just have to yank the arrow out for him. Noy didn’t expect it to be easy for Ged, these things never were. Noy wondered why he was helping Ged, he barely knew Ged, and they might be called friends, but not very close or good ones. Perhaps it was his way of pulling out his own arrow, his way of making up for leaving Mara. Noy’s heart was bursting from sadness, but he was barely aware of it wrapped up in the Void. Noy released Ged’s shoulders but kept his eyes fixed on Ged’s. Noy had no inkling of what Ged’s reaction would be. It might be guilt, sorrow, anger, Noy didn’t know Ged well enough to be sure, but he hoped that the arrow wouldn’t leave to much of a scar.

ooc: lol I said arrow a lot in that one. Sorry that this one took so long. Stupid RL *beats his RL with a stick*

**end**

ooc: wow, this was harder than I thought, all of the copy and paste, and it doesn't pick up the italics, so you have to go through and put them back in italics... dern.

Trust me Estel, it makes me feel younger. :D In the decent time I was involved with DM, I didn't frolic with the Community or all of us folks here RPing, so I appreciate the cool new boards, but feel very young when talking of the Community and RPers. :roll:

*grabs a beer and hopes it's not milk*

(won't get that until read Nakor's Promotion on OOC)

Me here, although I am just an insignifigant blue aspy novice. *instead of raising hand fingers white dress* I will be an Aes' Sedai though... eventually. *sees Estels siggy :shock:* I suggest you read the siggy requirements Estel. (6 lines of text and only 255 characters)