Welcome back to "WoT If?", Dragonmount's weekly theory blog.  I've come back with renewed vigor, thanks to a wonderful weekend at JordanCon.  It was an incredible experience, talking with Brandon, Harriet, Maria, and Alan, as well as other fans who love the series as much as I do.  I also sat through several of the theories/spoiler panels, letting ideas grow in my mind of topics to explore.  For this edition, I want to look at the comical side of The Wheel of Time fandom and talk about "The Grave is No Bar to My Looney Theories" panel at JordanCon.  But first:

SPOILER WARNING.  This will include content from A Memory of Light.  Please DO NOT read this if you have not completed the book.

The Looney Theories discussion included Kristy Lussier, Sarah Nakamura, Billy Todd, Matt Hatch, and Alan Romanczuk on the panel.  This discussion wasn't meant to be taken seriously, so any idea someone presented that could likely be true was marked with a "Too Plausible" stamp and pushed away.  We'll talk about one of those for next week, but I'm jumping ahead of myself.  I just want to give fair warning that these theories will be a bit on the crazy side.

My favorite of the bunch involved Berelain and Rhuarc.  Here's the theory:  In A Memory of Light, romantic couples seemed to live or die together: Siuan and Bryne, Gawyn and Egwene, etc.  But the only couple that didn't fit this criteria was Amys and Rhuarc.  The theorist claims that this proves that Rhuarc was not really in love with Amys, and that he was gay.  This is further collaborated by his relationship with Berelain, that she is one of those young women who liked to hang out with gay men.  It may be a stretch, but I could see it happening.

The next one comes from the idea that peach pits are poisonous in Randland.  The theory says that peach pits are actually saidin, and they are poisonous because of the taint.  So, with the cleansing of the source, peaches won't be poisonous anymore.  It's plausible.

Another suggested that Rand is really Charlie Sheen.  I think some part of this theory derives from Charlie Sheen's sudden descent into madness, but mostly it was because it would mean Tam is Martin Sheen—which seemed to make many of the women attendees sigh.  Charlie Sheen as the Dragon Reborn is hard to swallow, though.

This may be the looniest, in my opinion.  Rand didn't die during his fight with the Dark One because Rand didn't have a soul.  The theorist pointed out that Rand is a ginger—someone who has red hair—and everyone knows gingers don't have souls. (I must point out, once again, that this is all in jest.  There is no offense meant to anyone with red hair.)

And our own ed2funy submitted one for the panel's consideration.  He said that Rand wasn't the Dragon Reborn from the start.  His powers only came to him the night they were fleeing the Two Rivers.  On that night, Bela was in danger, and so she—who was really the Creator—searched for a way to save herself.  She released the Power into Rand, allowing him to become the Dragon and channel to save herself.  Also, at the end of A Memory of Light, Bela did not die.  Rather, she allowed her Power to go into the Horn of Valere and caused Olver to sound it.  She lost her body, but the Creator doesn't need it.  Everyone knew from the start that Bela was either the Dark One or the Creator, so this makes sense to me.

Ed came up with another one, though not in time for the Looney Theories panel.  He said that the Ogier will use Seed Singing on people before they use the Book of Translation to flee the land.  When they Sing to the people, the humans will grow into giants, creating another one of our modern world's legends.  Harriet was sitting at the table next to us, though, and when Ed asked her if it was possible, she said flat out, "No."  Sorry, Ed!

I think the tradition of looney theories will still continue, even with the conclusion of the series.  There are so many ways to analyze and evaluate all the characters and their interactions with each other.  Plus, it's a lot of fun thinking outside of the box, and just enjoying the silliness that can come from friends talking together.

That's all for this week.  Next week we'll examine another "looney theory" that sounds really plausible to me: Lanfear is still alive.  So, join us then, and don't forget to post your own looney theories in the comments.  Thanks for reading!