Can it be called Betrayal (attn Cara)

[Liitha]

ooc continuing from this tread http://www.dragonmount.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=10587

 

Liitha looked blankly at the book pages as she sat in the libary trying to read about her fathers old country. But the words came to be blured for her vission as it was grey eyes who distracted her thougths as they did her dreams.

 

Sighing she descided to take the books with her out of here, maybe some fresh air would help. She had even been as far as going back to the inn for a dinner a few times the past 3 weeks, but no result had come from it.

 

She was just about to round a corner when she heard the voices, and as she steped around she saw two brown sisters occupied in a discusion over some books. She was about to continue forth when her eyes took in more and she instead found herself steping back behind the shelf again.

 

Cara, all the pieces fell in place in her mind, the strange familiarity, of course the developing Aes Sedai traits in a young Aes Sedai. Liitha huridly found her way out through another route. The books she left in her room as she grabed her swords and went to the grove.

 

Why hadnt she been told the truth, it was not like there hadnt been ample opertunity, specialy since she herself had held nothing back. What could it mean. She went into Arc of the Moon, and why had she been lied to. No she chuckled not lied to, likely the womans long dead parents had been merchants, it was a typical duck and dive around the oaths that the Aes Sedai did so well.

 

Hummingbird Kisses the Honeyrose, most of all why did she care, what did it mather. It had been but an evening and a days ride. It was not like what lyv had did to her, though that lay in the past. But for some reason she couldnt let go of it, she was tired of beeing played as a pond in a game, yet it was the life she had chosen.

 

The Creeper Embraces the Oak, she drew her breath deep and slow trying to calm her racing thougths. Yet, she shook her head, for some reason she felt betrayed like a silly litle kid. What rigth did she have to feel like it, no it would be bether to just forget about it. For all her love to her duty and that she was intent on the path she had chosen, that she was here to become a warder, for all that she still was unsure what she felt of the Aes Sedai.

 

They did for sure have their way to manipulate peoples, and she had no love for their games. Maybe was this what it was, had the meeting been as random as claimed or was she geting drawn into something, without even beeing asked, it would be so typical.

 

Low Wind Rising she made a slash upwards laying all of herself into the dance with her swords, feeling the sun shining on her, blinking away a drop of sweat runing down to her eye. But what, what could it be that she was beeing draged into. She wrung her mind, it came clear to her it had to be conected to Ata, what else would draw any attention to her person.

 

So what could they be after, something she had inherited, how she had invested. She had moved most of the remaining things she hadnt sold of Atas out to the farm for storage. Had Cara been there to look for them, and a brown, it had to have been something book related. But they could have but asked, from what she had seen there where litle of interest among the books. Though The Swallow Rides the Air for sure there migth be something not aparent for the normal eye.

 

It was late afternoon before she stoped.

 

As she let the void go she felt how drenches she was from the sword practise. Her muscles ached from the strain like they seldom did, and her mind was for some reason still in turmoilt. She shook her head as she striped and took a bath in the pond, when she came up she donned a new set of dark brown skin pants, and a olivegreen shirt with a few decorative embroideries.

 

She walked back through the city, as she passed by an inn she heard her stumock grumble, and at the next place she went inside. She ordered a fish dish and some white wine. She seldom drank but for nipeling to the wine when she did as much. She prefered a clear head, and had years ago learned a litle to well the riple effects of partying.

 

She sipped the ritch full wine as she waited for the food, and before she had finished the meal the botle was gone as well. She drained her glass and rolled the last drops over her tounge, it truly had a splendid taste to it. Most of all it made it easier to control her mind thoug, and weighing back and forth she ordered another botle to take with her home.

 

She felt more relaxed, the work out in the grove had taken some of the energy out of her, and then the meal and just relaxing with the wine. As she reached up to her room she tossed the old shift into a corner and droped onto her bed.

 

She opened the botle and grasped a glass from the shelf above the bed, pouring herself a glass she started reading again. Though it grew harder as the sun grew dim, and her room was facing away from it.

 

She knew she could light some candles but she lay the book away instead and poured herself another glass of wine, leaning back and leting her thougths drift again. What did it all mean, she tried to attack the problem from another direction and then to try and remember what books she had seen as she packed them down. She knew most of the books and journals had been delivered to the tower before she got access even, by her aunts will.

 

Try as she migth she couldnt figure out what it could be. And then she found the botle empty. Her head felt a lil high, it had been to long since she had really taken more then a couple glasses of wine for dinner. Raising she descided she best get some air to clear her mind again, she went outside and looked at the low evening sun.

 

Huging herself as a mild breeze blew past, her mind still tossing the problem around. She didnt like not knowing what was up for her, she was here to serve willingly, and the least she could get was honesty. She let her feets go where they wanted by themself, the ground was all to familiar to her and she didnt registrer where she was untill she stood outside the doors to the white tower.

 

She was about to turn when she redescided and entered in fast steps instead. She would get her answers and then go back to her life without having to worry about something unexpected coming knocking on her door any day. If there where something in her aunts belongings they wanted she would happily give it up for some peace and quietness.

 

She stoped the first intiate she saw and asked to be shown to Cara Sedais apartments. Following the girl she found herself walking up into the brown quarters. Last she had been here was when she had reported to Shanevae Sedai about the findings in the bligth, delivering the samples she had been asked to bring back.

 

The novice left her outside a door, and she looked at it for a moment, then resoloutly knocked it and waited for an answer.

[WhiteWolf]

Cara leant back against her door, sighing in a most un Aes Sedai way, and using first her left foot, to remove her right shoe, then her right foot to remove her left shoe, she kicked them across the room and into the bedroom beyond. Her quarters were modest by the standard of some Sisters, but Cara was still new to the shawl and so did not rate more lavish quarters, although these met her needs for now. Walking across the room, Cara thought back to the last class of the day she had had to teach, to say the Novices had been vexatious was an under statement. Sure she knew they would have questions, but did they have to be so banal, not one interesting question all afternoon.

 

The very drudgery of it was what weighed most on Cara, the repitition of the simple exercises that allowed Novices to first touch their power, then to take the first steps along the road to mastering their abilities, and that was it, day in day out, and it was driving Cara to distraction. In the center of the room was a table covered in books and it was these that drew Cara’s eyes, one title in particular that she had only found earlier today. Moving the chair over to the window, next to the fireplace, Car sat down and opened the book, and soon was engrossed.

 

Having been absorbed in the book, Cara had no idea of the passage of time that was until the light became so bad that she had to light some candles to be able to continue reading. Just as she had them positioned correctly, there was a loud knock at her door.

 

Blood and bloody ashes, who would that be?

 

Placing the last candle on the shelf above her chair, Cara made her way over to the door, the pain in her knees and back serving to remind her of how long she had been sat in one position. Reaching for the door knob, Cara’s hand hesitated as she again considered who would be outside her door at this hour, even if it was one of her Sisters there could be reason for concern. Deciding that she was not going to be caught of guard, and would rather risk the admonishment about holding the Power when there was not need, Cara opened herself to Saidar and then opened the door.

 

At the sight of Liitha standing outside her door, Cara’s left hand went to her chin, in surprise, and gently stroked the skin there. Suddenly Cara realised that she was standing at her door, stroking her chin like some light blasted ninny, An ironic laugh escaped her lips, and standing aside she gestured for Liitha to enter. Once they were seated in the inner room, Cara waited for Liitha to speak, so far she had been ominously quiet, and Cara thought she knew exactly why that was, but would not give her the satisfaction of making the first mention of the matter. Instead Cara offered her guest some tea and without waiting for a response got up and started to prepare the tea.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I was born without enough middle fingers

 

Sister of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

Liitha coldly studied Cara stroking her chin, before the woman became aware of herself and stoped with a litle laugh. Steping aside she motioned for Liitha to come in and a seat, her eyes wandered the room. Cara offered tea and before she could respond the Aes Sedai was on her feets preparing it. Aes Sedai and thier teas.

 

She waited till the other woman sat down, but ignored the cup infront of her. "So this is your litle merchant place...interesting" her voice was lacking of feelings, noncholant looking around. "So any particular reason you didnt find an opening to tell the truth as it was? is it something of my aunts you didnt get out, all you had to do was ask. Or is it something else, either way i pledge my life to service so i would think that it would be enough to ask instead of playing games." She looked at the other feeding her emotions into the void.

[WhiteWolf]

Cara was not that surprised by Liitha’s attitude, after all she had welcomed Cara into her home and provided her with food and a place to sleep. What did surprise Cara was the mention of Liitha’s aunts that totally confused her, as she had no idea what Liitha was referring to but would find out if she could. First though she had to provide some sort of explanation for her misleading Liitha.

 

“It was not my intention to mislead you Liitha, but I did not know you or know if you were telling the truth. For all I knew that was no chance encounter and you had been sent by someone to try and elicited information from me. I did not out right lie to you, I think you know enough of Aes Sedai to know we do not lie. What I told you about my parents is true, but it does not cover everything about them, just as you did not tell me everything about your family.”

 

Cara let her words hang in the air for a moment, figuring that Liitha would need a moment for her words to penetrate her alcohol-dimmed senses.

 

“For instance, what is this about your aunts and why would you think I would be wanting anything from them? It seems you have me at a disadvantage there.”

 

With that Cara lent back in her chair and reached for her cup of tea, her hand imperceptibly shook as it reached the cup, and it was not shaking because of Liitha’s questions, there was a much different reason than that.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brow Ajah

[Liitha]

“It was not my intention to mislead you Liitha, but I did not know you or know if you were telling the truth. For all I knew that was no chance encounter and you had been sent by someone to try and elicited information from me. I did not out right lie to you, I think you know enough of Aes Sedai to know we do not lie. What I told you about my parents is true, but it does not cover everything about them, just as you did not tell me everything about your family.”

 

Liitha looked at Cara, she had understood there must be some truth of it, that it was what the womans parents once was when alive, cause the Aes Sedai lived long lives and as such she knew it was quite posible the womans parents was no longer alive.

 

“For instance, what is this about your aunts and why would you think I would be wanting anything from them? It seems you have me at a disadvantage there.”

 

Liitha studied Cara a moment before sighing, "Ata Sedai, I mentioned her briefly as the one I inherited the money to buy the ranch from, but it was out by the pond it think, I was lost in my own mind, I guess, you migth not have heard it, it was such a beautifull night. " she tilted her head up looking into the roof a moment trying to sort her thougths.

 

"I saw you in the libary and you, well I did tell you whom I was, which gave plenty opening, so I just asumed as it was out there and..." she let the words dwindle off as she looked at Cara. Sudenly she wished she had never come, "I am sorry Cara Sedai, I should not have bothered you" she went as to raise.

[WhiteWolf]

“Sit down Liitha, you are in no fit shape to be walking around at this time of night.” Cara used the same inflection in her voice as she did when tutoring the Novices, and it had the desired effect, as Liitha about faced and collapsed into the chair she had just vacated. “You have no need to apologise to me, although I did not expect this visit, I would rather it was you than some of the other people who could have walked in here.”

 

This was not going to be an easy encounter, not just because of Liitha’s feelings, but also the alcohol she had drunk, the matter of Cara’s parents had slipped from Cara’s mind for now. “We all have our own secrets, ones that we cannot bring ourselves to tell anyone, least of all people they had just met. I have had a challenging upbringing, being born her and spending all my life here, has been awkward at times and when I can get away I try to forget what I have left behind, that more than anything, is the reason I did not tell you the truth, although I am not sure you are clear headed enough to understand me right now. Are you Liitha?”

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brow Ajah

[Liitha]

“Sit down Liitha, you are in no fit shape to be walking around at this time of night.” It was that Aes Sedai voice of comand, and rigth now she felt in no condition to object as she dumped back into the chair awaiting a lecture.

 

“You have no need to apologise to me, although I did not expect this visit, I would rather it was you than some of the other people who could have walked in here.” Liitha looked up surpriced at the woman, and now reached for the tea, her troath feeling a lil dry and also starting to feel chilled.

 

“We all have our own secrets, ones that we cannot bring ourselves to tell anyone, least of all people they had just met. I have had a challenging upbringing, being born her and spending all my life here, has been awkward at times and when I can get away I try to forget what I have left behind, that more than anything, is the reason I did not tell you the truth, although I am not sure you are clear headed enough to understand me right now. Are you Liitha?” She tilted her head trying to spin the words around to see if there where some meaning inbetween them she should pick up on before answering.

 

"Somewhat, I'm sorry I.." she sighed and shook her head. "I stoped drinking some years back after some incident on duty that spured from a night out, i had only a couple botles tonite but it seems its been more then enough even so." She held her hands around the cup to warm her fingers, and looked down into the depts of the redbrown tea.

[WhiteWolf]

“Stopped drinking some years back”

 

Then why was she drinking now? Cara hated mysteries and intrigues, she hated the way she could not be totally open and honest with people. Not only about her parents but also that she had to be careful who knew she wore the ring and the shawl. Although her Sisters tried to deny it, there were many places an Aes Sedai was not welcome, and you could no longer expect the respect from the common folk that was freely given in the past

 

Cara watched as Liitha slumped in her chair, there were obviously hidden depths to Liitha that Cara had not noticed before when they had met. Watching Liitha drink from the cup, Cara’s eyes were drawn to her lips, as they gently parted then closed again on the rim of the cup. There was a sensuousness there that had Cara entranced, the way the light glistened off the liquid on Liitha’s lips, the softness of the skin next to the hard cup.

 

Just then Liitha’s head came up and noticed Cara’s intense gaze, razing one eyebrow at Cara as if to ask if there was anything Cara wanted? It was just as well it was not a spoken question as Cara was not sure she would have been able to stop herself saying something she may regret.

 

“I think it would be best if you stayed here tonight Liitha, I do not want you wandering around in your condition, getting into a fight would not be a good idea right now.”

 

Cara took her cup and prised Liitha’s from her hand and poured them another cup of tea each. Cara placed Liitha’s on the table between them, and then stood up and went to get a small round tin, decorated with birds in flight, from a shelf on the opposite wall. Pulling the lid off, Cara offered Liitha a biscuit and then took one for her. Waiting for Liitha to bite into hers, Cara then asked. “So Liitha would you like to spend the night with me here?”

 

If Liitha had known Cara better she would have heard the twinkle in her voice and know she was being teased, but as it was she did not, and nearly choked on the biscuit, a good amount of time passed before she was able to respond.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brow Ajah

[Liitha]

As Liitha broke her gaze into the tea and looked up she saw that she was beeing somewhat studied or something. She raised an eyebrow in question to see if she had missed something.

 

“I think it would be best if you stayed here tonight Liitha, I do not want you wandering around in your condition, getting into a fight would not be a good idea right now.” She where offered another cup of tea and this time left it at the table for now, she smiled at the offer of a biscuit and sunk her teaths into it. Savouring the taste and then slowly swallowing it as she realised it had become quite some time since she ate at the inn.

 

She put the rest of the biscuit in her mouth. Her thougths was interupted as Cara spoke again and she lifted her head to look at the other, her eyes drawn to the grey eyes untill her mind picked up on just what was beeing said.

 

“So Liitha would you like to spend the night with me here?” She nearly chocked on the biscuit she had just swallowed, and reached for the tea, draining the biscuit down with a good sip as she looked over at Cara.

 

Her eyes wandering over the lines of the other womans face, and lost in her thougths for an answer she almost didnt registrer how she let her eyes wander to properly take in the woman infront of her. Before they stoped as they came back to the grey eyes who had tormented her dreams as of late, sudenly she felt warmer as was the chill was gone as soon as it had come.

 

What was it with this womans ability to make her mind get into such a chaos. And it was almost as she was a bistander as she heard herself say that she thougth it migth in her condition as said be a good idea. Wondering where the words come from, as she found herself unable to tear her eyes off the other.

[WhiteWolf]

Well it was not a difficult question, but obviously Liitha was having trouble answering it, and the longer it took her to answer the harder Cara had to try to not start laughing at Liitha’s obvious discomfort. “I tell you what Liitha, you do not have to decide now, and I feel the need for a bath. So, why don’t you help yourself to another biscuit, you certainly seemed to enjoy the first one, and while you are doing so, I will go and get clean, won’t be long.” Smiling at Liitha, Cara almost leaped out of her chair and made her way to the bathroom.

 

Once inside she quickly closed the door and leant back against it, wondering at the words that had come out of her mouth earlier “So Liitha would you like to spend the night with me here?”. So blithely uttered, yet so laden with unspoken desire that Cara almost choked on the audacity of it. She had kept her sexuality very well hidden, there had been a couple of dalliances but they had never really gone any further than furtive glances and stolen kisses, nothing like what she was feeling now.

 

Shaking her head at this line of thought, Cara quickly undressed and heating the water, tested it with her elbow before climbing in. Luxuriating in the warmth, Cara leant back in the water, letting it caress all of her body but the tip of her nose. She stayed like that for some time, letting the warmth of the water seep into her skin, mingling there with the tingling she felt at Liitha’s presence.

 

Cara was so relaxed that she was almost on the edge of sleep, but she knew she could not stay in here for too long otherwise Liitha might leave. Getting out of the bathtub took a lot of energy, as Cara really did not want to leave its enticing warmth. Wrapping a towel around her long ash blonde hair, Cara looked around for another towel and realised she had not brought a second in with her.

 

Realising that to traipse through to her bedroom in nothing but a head towel would not be the best thing to do, Cara decided to call out to Liitha and asked her to pass her the towel from off the bed.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brow Ajah

[Liitha]

“I tell you what Liitha, you do not have to decide now, and I feel the need for a bath. So, why don’t you help yourself to another biscuit, you certainly seemed to enjoy the first one, and while you are doing so, I will go and get clean, won’t be long.” Liitha nodded slowly, and as she heard Cara walk out of the room she took another biscuit and leaned back closing her eyes while she chewed it.

 

She had a sort of intoxicating spining sensation in her head, and for some reason she could smell the tea and Cara in the air. Then a soft fragrance of what must be the soap the Aes Sedai put in her bath. What had she really ment by the words, could she have ment what Liitha first came to think off, or was this teengirl state that had enrupted upon her mind making her read more into things then she should. She was drunk and migth be it was genuin consern, but then again it was unlike if any place was then yes the yard was an unlike place to end in a fight.

 

Slowly she opened her eyes and waited for a moment for the room to calm around her before standing. Ever so slowly she walked over to the bookshelf runing a finger along the shelf, her eyes glancing at the books title writen on their backs. Her finger slowly runing over the top of some of the books before she turned away.

 

She walked back as slowly and picked up her cup of tea, then wandered over to the window and looked out towards Tar Valon. What a magnifcant sight from this higth now at night with the stars up, in the past few years her travelings had made her feel less at home in Tar Valon but as she looked out on the city now, a feeling of peace spread through her, and then her gaze spread out even futher beyond the city and into the dark. She had felt at home somewhat at the farm as well, and realization hit her that home didnt need to be but one place, but be where one felt comfortable. She let her mind wander and spin in an almost meditating way around those thougths untill she heard the sound of a voice and was pulled back to the present.

 

A towel from the bed, she frowned a lil second then put down her cup on the windows ledge and walked towards the bedroom. Yes there where a bunch of what seemed newly washed and folded towels on the bed, picking up one with a light peach color she moved towards the bathroom door. Opening the door and about to step in as she spoke, "here is the tow.." she triped on the door case, thoug managed somewhat to find her feets some steps into the room, and as she looked up saw how close it had brougth her to Cara.

 

She could look rigth into the other womans eyes, those grey emeralds with the piercing look, and before she knew what she had done she saw herself caresingly stroking a strand of wet hair off Cara's cheek. She felt almost dizzy from the heat maybe, her breath going slow but her heart thundered in her chest. "Cara..." it was but a mere whisper who passed over her lips. And she found herself leaning in to kiss the other, though the world seemed to be in slow motion, her head was spining and that litle warning voice in the back of her head was to low for her to really registrer it.

[WhiteWolf]

Well in future when I ask for a towel I will have to make sure I make myself fully understood, unless this is some strange custom from Liitha’s homeland that I was not aware of

 

As much as Cara wanted to just melt into this kiss, she knew that it was unfair to take advantage of Liitha when she was drunk, although there was a small voice at the back of her mind that said she should just enjoy what the moment offered. Mentally gritting her teeth, Cara gently pushed Liitha away, and reached out for the towel and wrapping it around herself, although it seemed a bit late to be thinking of modesty now.

 

Seeing the look on Liitha’s face, one of confusion and shock, Car reached out for her and pulled her into an embrace. “I do not think this is an appropriate moment for this Liitha, you have been drinking and I feel are not yourself.” Cara had to force herself to say this, the words were dragged out of her, almost against her will, and she hated herself for it. At this moment there was nothing more in the world she would have rather been doing than spending a few hours exploring the limits of Liitha’s pleasure threshold, but that would not be fair and Cara knew that, no matter that she would have preferred, for once, to not do the right thing.

 

Sighing into Liitha’s hair, Cara released the embrace and moved passed Liitha, hoping that the intoxicated woman would not have her spirit crushed by this rejection. In a situation like this there was not a lot a person could do to console the one who had made the advance, but something came to Cara’s mind that she hoped would help soothe Liitha’s bruised ego. “Another time another place and you would have to pry my arms from you Liitha, but not now, and defiantly not here.”

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brow Ajah

[Liitha]

Her aproach wasnt stoped and she felt her head spin even faster as her lips found those of Cara, the litle voice growing even fainter in the back of her mind. Then she felt the ligth preasure of hands against her and the kiss was broken, she felt her fingers slip off the towel as Cara took it. She felt intoxicated as was and her mind didnt seem to fully work, that tiny voice now still hamering in the back of her mind promising trouble for this.

 

“I do not think this is an appropriate moment for this Liitha, you have been drinking and I feel are not yourself.” Slowly she found the words sinking in and realised just what she was doing, a blush starting to grow, was she not an adult woman and more then so an experient guard where had her mind been.

 

What confused her more was the embrace she found herself in as such, it was ligthly confusing, why wasnt she beeing scolded, the wine was no excuse for her behaviour who had been nothing but unprofesional tonight. Futher did the soft fragrance of Cara's hair not help in her confused state, and then the embrace was over. Sudenly Liitha felt cold, alone, and she found herself having put her arms around herself.

 

“Another time another place and you would have to pry my arms from you Liitha, but not now, and defiantly not here.” Those words drew her eyes back up, looking into Cara's grey seeking to see if they held true, her head was a chaos. What was she to do, "I.." she drew her breath, "I am sorry..I think mayhaps the air would do me good walking back to my own place and not " she looked down "futher disturb you Aes Sedai" by the creator she wanted, no needed to get out of this place and sort her mind up.

[WhiteWolf]

Cara watched with amusement as Liitha turned on the spot and marched straight into the bedroom, obviously thinking it was the way out. Struggling not to laugh, Cara’s mirth was interrupted by the sound of a body crashing to the floor. Quickly she ran into her bedroom and without a moments thought, lit the candles, which revealed an almost comatose Liitha, sprawled out on the floor. Shaking her head in restrained mirth, Cara bent down and started to pull Liitha towards the bed, then dragged her onto the bed. Even though Liitha was not totally unconscious, she was of more hindrance than help, but Cara persisted and finally got her friend onto the bed.

 

By this time Liitha had finally succumbed to the effects of the alcohol and passed out in a drunken haze. So much for you getting yourself home, my dear. It is a good job I insisted you stay here, otherwise who knows what problems you would have caused getting out of the Tower tonight.

 

All of this went through Cara’s mind as she struggled with Liitha’s clothing, it was one thing to share a bed it was another to do it with a fully clothed person. Finally Cara had Liitha undressed and bundled her under the sheets and then got undressed herself and climbed into the bed. Thankfully it was a large bed, the one luxury Cara had permitted herself, and she had hated the narrow cots as a Novice she had had to sleep in. She loved to spread herself out in bed, although that was going to be a slight problem tonight. But that was not the only thing on Cara’s mind as she got into bed; Cara could still feel the imprint of Liitha’s lips, almost as if they were still there, pressed tightly against hers. She felt a shiver course down her spine at this, and turned on her and lifting the blanket, stared at Liitha’s body, taking ain all of the tiniest details. How she wished Liitha had not been drinking before she came to see Cara, that would have made things very different, or at least she fervently hoped they would have been.

 

But for now she would just have to be patient, and slowly she lowered the blankets and settled for a demure kiss to Liitha’s cheek. “Sweet dreams my dear.”

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

Liitha felt herself stumbeling and from there it was all a haze, untill the world went black.

 

---

She moaned and her hand went to her head, she had a headache, luckily it was not much light in here, which was strange cause she had a feeling it must be morning, and the morning sun always stood on her window. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked, where was she, she had a sence that someone was there with her, her first thougth went to her friend. But no this was not in the baracks at all it was to fine a room.

 

Liitha turned her head and looked at Cara, slowly memories dawned on her, she let her head hit back on the pillow and closed her eyes again. She should get up and out of here before the woman woke up. And with every memorie coming back that feeling got stronger.

[WhiteWolf]

It is surprising how hard it can be to sleep when you have another person in the same bed as you and you are not used to having another person next to you. That, plus the turmoil in Cara’s mind, had prevented her from doing anything other than napping during the night. For a long time she just lay there and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of Liitha’s chest, then cursing herself for a fool, Cara tried to get some sleep, but her mind would not let her, turning over and over again the feel of Liitha’s lips on hers, the obvious passion running through Liitha had surprised Cara as well.

 

But then the self-doubts started to creep in, was she being used, was she being set up for something? Did Liitha know about her Fathers association and wanted to find out more? The more she thought about it, the more they started to make sense, as even the most outlandish thoughts will at that time of the night. Liitha did not spend the most restful of nights either, after a while she had started tossing and turning in her sleep, almost as if she was fighting someone, or trying to fend someone off. For a time Cara had become concerned, as Liitha’s movements had become more frantic, and Cara had tenderly reached out to her and laid her hand on Liitha’s shoulder, stroking it, offering what comfort she could, without waking her up.

 

When Cara sensed the sun had risen, she finally came to a conclusion; she knew Liitha had been suffering the effects of the alcohol, as well as thinking Cara had been up to something when they had first met. It suddenly struck Cara that there were similarities here, she did not want anyone to know her secret, and it seemed that Liitha had a secret that she did not want anyone to know about. So Cara decided to wait, to let Liitha wake up first and to see what she did next. If she left without attempting to wake Cara, then she would assume that what happened had been alcohol inspired and nothing more. If however Liitha did wake her, or wait for her to wake up, before leaving, then that could mean it was not the alcohol, and that there maybe a chance for them after all. Having decided on a course of action, Cara finally managed to get some sleep, although her own rest was not without it’s own demons.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

As her head started gathering itself she opened her eyes again and blinked. This time she didnt close them and she looked over at the sleeping Cara, the fine lines of her face where the Aes Sedai features was forming. She wanted to ask herself what she had been thinking yesterday, but looking at the peacefull sleeping Aes Sedai she knew exactly what.

 

Yet though she was forgiven in her stupor the last evening she had no illusion it would be the same today, and the last thing she wanted on the top of her confusion was a confrontation. Her fingers played with a lock of hair, and lifted it, she closed her eyes a moment as she took in the fragrance that was the sleeping beauty.

 

Leting go she quelshed a soft sigh and sliped silently with stealth out of bed, she sliped huridly but with outmost quiet into her clothes. Should she write a note of apologise, or just go, she wasnt sure what to write thoug. A last look at Cara and she forced herself to turn towards the door.

 

Liitha was two steps from the door which would bring her out of the apartments all toghether when she saw a silk scarf hang of a peg on the wall in a corner almost seeming all but forgoten. Before she knew what she was doing she had put it in her pocket and had let herself out of the apartment.

 

Her feets found her walking through the city, not caring who saw her or what they thougth of her wrinkled clothes. She bougth a botle of wine and some bread, cheese and salt meat in an inn before she was on her way to the grove again. Considering yesterday, well she knew she shouldnt drink, she had learned a lesson years ago and yesterday should have reminded her well.

 

Her head was a mess though and her nerves on tension, what had she been thinking yesterday. The meal was soon gone and flushed down with wine. It somehow calmed her stumock and helped setle her nerves as well. She only took what would have been close to a glass or two, then she diped the rest of the winebotle into the pond to keep it cool.

 

Laying back in the grass she closed her eyes and let the sun warm her face, it was only then she remembered the scarf, why had she taken it. Hopefully it had been as forgoten as it seemed, less she would be in troubles. She took it out of her pocket and opened her eyes looking at it, then puting it close to her nose. She closed her eyes again and fell asleep to birdsong and the fragrance of Cara.

[WhiteWolf]

Disappointment did not sit well with Cara, she always strived to be the best at anything she set her mind to, and often saw in others things she would not tolerate. Liitha sneaking out was just such a disappointment. Well she had also thought about this and had decided she would not let her leaving bother her, sop Cara jumped out of bed, washed her face and neck and threw on her robe before going into the other room.

 

One of the reasons Cara liked an almost austere room, was that it helped you notice if something had gone missing, and so Cara’s eye immediately noticed the missing red silk scarf. Only one person had been in here since yesterday, so it was not hard for Cara to know who had taken it. The why of it was what puzzled her and had her thinking as she quickly dressed. Leaving her rooms at a run was not the way to go unnoticed, but now was not the time to be worrying about that. For now Cara had to make up time on Liitha and with that in mind she ran to the nearest main gate and asked the guards there if a person resembling Liitha had passed them by. Fortunately for her, the first guard she spoke to had seen Liitha and gave Cara direction as to where he thought she had been going.

 

Although it was still early, the streets where slowly filling up with people who seemed intent on slowing Cara’s rate of progress. Eventually though, she came to the place the guard had mentioned and looked around, hoping to catch some sight of Liitha. She was lying on the grass, a red scarf clutched in one hand near her face. It was such a strange sight to see, her scarf clutched in the hand of the thief, and friend. Striding across the grass, Cara quickly closed the distance to where Liitha was, working herself up into a right tongue-lashing. But then Liitha’s eyes opened, and upon seeing Cara standing above her, anguish appeared in her eyes. Cara could not carry on with her plan, instead she found she could not tear herself away from those eyes and stood mute in front of Liitha.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

The soft sound of footsteps brougth her back from her daydreaming. She opened her eyes as shadow fell over her and looked up on Cara, for a moment she considered if she was still dreaming, but the look on the Aes Sedai face said otherwise.

 

Oh but a fool she had been, and then she remembered her daydreams and felt her cheeks grow rosy pink, slowly realising the looks she must make out coutching the scarf. By the creator she was acting like a foolish teenager, she couldnt think thoug not with those eyes on her. Closing her eyes for a moment and then pulling herself up to a sitting position, her eyes looking into the distant for an answer on what to say. "I'm sorry"

 

It wasnt enough she knew it and she wrenched her brain, "I dont know what came over me, I...I shouldnt have taken it...and ..." she closed her eyes again, this was to hard, she was seeking the void to calm herself. But it fled her grasp time and again, there would be no easy way out. "..I'm sorry for the state i came up to your apartments yesterday, I had no rigth, I do not know what went through my head..I.." she grew silent.

 

She felt shame but at the same time the feelings from yesterday was all there, and she wanted to be drunk again, she wanted to forget, sudenly she understood those who solved their problems with alcohol. Just then her eyes spoted the wine botle and her hand closed around the neck of it, she must make out a patetic view.

 

Why couldnt she deal with this, she had been with boys, and even close with those of her own sex, it was not what bothered her. Her infutiation in Kelt she had thougth it so strong, but now, it was not something like this, it had been young love, foolish explosive love.

 

Yet not the same, it had scared her for difrent reasons, some migth think it the same now, but it wasnt, she had been with others later, with difrent feelings. No it was this state of her, beeing reduced to this clouded fool when she should be an experinced guard, and that it made no sence, she didnt even know Cara that well.

 

She put the botle to her lips and closed her eyes taking a deep sip, she didnt care, the warmt following was worth the image of pateticness she must make out. She would get a scolding no mather, she was sure, migth as well drink, it couldnt be made any worse. Mayhaps it was time to give up, she could move to the farm for sure and live there, all she ever knew was the training and then the yard. Mayhaps some change would do good.

 

Finaly she looked up at Cara, she held no words, she didnt manage to control the mixed up inside this woman had brougth her into beeing. Knowing it would show in her eyes, yet the alcohol had done something to calm her. She held up the scarf waiting for what she was sure would come.

[WhiteWolf]

Cara didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as she watched Liitha take another swallow from the bottle she so loving cradled. Crouching down in front of her Cara reached out and took firm hold of the bottle, finally managing to wrench it out of Liitha’s grasp and setting it on the grass. Liitha’s hands immediately went to her face, as if to hide from Cara, but Cara was quicker and grasped the wrists and pulled them away from Liitha’s tear stained face. Liitha struggled, at first, not wanting Cara to see her this way, but it was too late for that now and so she raised her head and returned Cara’s gaze.

 

“What am I going to do with you? One stupid kiss and you go all to pieces, does it really mean that much to you Liitha?”

 

Cara kept the pressure up on Liitha’s wrists, if this was how the woman reacted after one kiss, then she was in love with Cara, or there was something else going on in her mind, and Cara wanted to know what it was that could so agitate her friend.

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

It wasnt untill afte Cara took hold of the batle she realised as well with herself that tears was staining her cheeks, she could feel them drying from the sun.

 

She went to cover her face with her hands, this was beyond patetic, she was a grown woman why couldnt she pull herself togheter, she was a warrior, she seen horrors that would have made most normal women become reduced to what she was now or more. Yet this one single woman now looking into her eyes, this womans gray eyes who she now looked into with agony. This woman she only met for a tird time, had managed to reduce her to this state.

 

“What am I going to do with you? One stupid kiss and you go all to pieces, does it really mean that much to you Liitha?”

 

The words felt like a slap, her head was ringing, oh what a fool she was. "No...I.." she looked down not able to know what to answer, and then as she invisoned what she must look like another time rage took her, "..as you say...its not that I got other.." issues...she couldnt make herself say it, to utter the lie and she looked up on Cara knowing full well that fire was burning in her dark eyes.

 

"I do not know Aes Sedai, I.." she stoped and just felt it all buble up in herself, her voice cold as she continued "..i dont know why but that your piercing gray eyes is enough to drive anyone mad."

 

There she had said it, this was ridiculous, it was even worse then if she had found out that she had been caugth in a web of ploting, at least then she could have counted her losses and moved on. "May I have my bottle back.." she held up the scarf again "..I belive you came from this, now let me at least have privatsy to deal with my disgrace alone."

 

She turned away again, her heart feeling like it would tear apart any moment, angrily she blinked away a forming tear. She pushed her feeling off to the outside of her mind and again tried to form the void, as she managed to enter it she felt calm finaly flow into her. She needed her swords and a hard work out, then she would get something stronger, and go to bed, and this time she would stay there.

[WhiteWolf]

“Disgrace? Oh Liitha is that what you think?”

 

Cara smiled at the stupid ness of this situation. Here was a woman who had fought many battles, and survived, who had no doubt seen more in her life, than Cara had in hers and she was infatuated because of Cara’s piercing grey eyes. Inside Cara was giggling away at that description; she had never been told that she had piercing eyes, annoying, troublesome, bad tempered even, but never piercing.

 

Cara forced Liitha to look at her, almost having to use the One Power to get her to comply, but that would not be a good thing to do, not at this stage. “You are not in disgrace Liitha, not in my eyes anyway. How you see yourself I cannot change, but if you think I think any less of you then you are sadly mistaken. It took a lot to do what you did, even though you had some liquid courage to help you.” Here Cara waved the bottle and Liitha asked for it back. “You still do not get it do you Liitha, that will not help you, not with what happened last night, or what ever else is worrying you.”

 

Cara flung the bottle as far as she could, and felt Liitha’s body try to get up and so increased the grip on Liitha with her thighs. “I see there is only one way you are going to believe me, but I will not prove I am right to you all the time Liitha, not if there is to be any future between us, on some things you will just have to accept my word.” Without further conversation, Cara leaned her face closer to Liitha’s one of her fingers tracing a the track of Liitha’s tears, then she slowly moved in closer until her lips were touching Liitha’s, taking the bottom lip gently between her teeth, Cara bit into Liitha’s lip. Not hard, she did not want to draw blood, just hard enough to let her know she was there. They Cara traced the outline of Liitha’s lips with her tongue, before gently forcing her tongue into Liitha’s mouth, kissing her deeply and passionately.

 

Finally she pulled away, with regret, but she did nto want to forget who was in need her. Stroking some hair away from Liitha's face, Cara started to smile again. "So tell me Liitha, are you feeling better or should i just go and find a Yellow to cure you?"

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

“Disgrace? Oh Liitha is that what you think?” The tone of Cara's voice only made her more confused but she clutched on to the void with all she could, she didnt want to look back up at Cara.

“You are not in disgrace Liitha, not in my eyes anyway. How you see yourself I cannot change, but if you think I think any less of you then you are sadly mistaken. It took a lot to do what you did, even though you had some liquid courage to help you.”

 

The Creator help her those eyes was unseteling, she felt the void waver and then she lost the batle she felt it fall away. Oh but of Andular had seen her now, at least then he would have given her the tounge lashing she deserved. The void should be second nature to her by now. As the botle pendled infront of her she asked another time to have it back.

 

“You still do not get it do you Liitha, that will not help you, not with what happened last night, or what ever else is worrying you.” She saw Cara toss it away and went to get up and fetch it before it landed, the womans grip proved to be stronger then she had thougth posible. She was well trained and yet the Aes Sedai managed to hold her back.

 

“I see there is only one way you are going to believe me, but I will not prove I am right to you all the time Liitha, not if there is to be any future between us, on some things you will just have to accept my word.” The words hit her with shock, and then she felt the other kiss her. She felt herself respond, yet she felt both cold and hot at the same time. Future, what, how, why after all she had done yet this woman sat in her lap and kissed her, she let her lips slip apart and closed her eyes a moment as the kiss grew deeper. Thougths flew from her mind, it all didnt mather but here and now.

 

She in the moment didnt care how it was posible, as she relaxed, feeling that intoxicating feeling from last night coming back as she embraced the other. It was sith a sigh she let go as Cara pulled away, restraining herself from following to hinder the kiss breaking. She looked at her with new eyes.

"So tell me Liitha, are you feeling better or should i just go and find a Yellow to cure you?" She tilted her head, all the agony had been in wain, and sudenly she laughed as the thougths flashed through her mind. How had she come to be so troubled by this that her every gene spoke of should come as second nature as the void, her hands still placed on Cara's back.

 

Slowly she ran her left hand up Cara's back to play with the hair. What would her new found love think if she got to know who her parents was, well Tanitsja had not been around long enough to make herself a name but her father had. It didnt mather, she had spent enough time in stupor worrying about things she hadnt needed to worry about.

 

And as she spoke again she was her parents daugther. "I dont think no yellow can fix what is wrong with me, less they discovered a way to alter eyes. I do not know why, nor understand..." she looked into Cara's eyes, "..but I think I'll do well listening to my wise parents and not ask or worry more about it." she knew that would make no sence to Cara, but she didnt care. Instead she leaned forward and nibed affectionatly on the womans chin, she kissed down her troath, and then up the side of her neck before blowing into her ear. You smell of summer" it was a soft whisper.

 

Her parents had the rigth of it, the last few weeks ending in these moments showed her that more then nothing else could. Afterall the worst that could have happened would she would have goten a scolding from the Aes Sedai, she had goten her share of those already, maybe she would have been reported, but really she knew now she was not as afraid as she had once been of that. She doubted it would have seen her dismissed, and even so, it wouldnt have been the chatastrope she felt it would have been after the murder of the man who had raped her.

 

No she would have survived even that, she buried her face in Cara's hair, all in all thoug, this was so much bether.

[WhiteWolf]

The lessening of the stress, evident in Liitha, surprised Cara, she had had no idea Liitha had felt the way she did, nor that she had had that much of an impact on the woman. Slowly she disentangled herself from Liitha and grasped her face. “As much as I would like to continue with this kissing business,” Cara winked at Liitha as she mentioned the kissing, “but I do not want to have to explain myself to anyone, nor have my private affairs discussed in public. So why don’t we get you presentable, a good face wash will do you the world of good.” Cara stuck her tongue out at Liitha as she finished talking, in a most un Aes Sedai like way. Jumping to her feet she stretched out her hand to Liitha. “Come on no use sitting there like some stranded fish.” Grasping Liitha’s hand she pulled her to her feet and then, still holding her hand, led her out of the Grove and back to her rooms.

 

Cara had just finished buttoning her shirt when Liitha came out of the bathroom, her face freshly scrubbed, all sign of the earlier tears now obliterated. “I do not want to sit in here, not now, why don’t we go to this inn I know, I think you will find it to your liking. Seeing as I have missed breakfast with all this running around, I think you owe me a breakfast as well Liitha.” Cara pulled Liitha to her and kissed her, watching her friends face to see her reaction. Cara always thought is strange that people kissed with their eyes closed and more often than not she always kept hers open. Her right hand came up and gently stroked the side of Liitha’s face as she continued kissing her, her left hand held the back of Liitha’s head, not allowing her friend to pull away, even if she wanted to.

 

Eventually Cara broke the kiss and stood for a moment regarding Liitha, the sheen of her hair, the glint in her eyes and the slight pout of her lips. “Come on then, lets go get something to eat, I am sure you need it to keep your strength up.” Cara literally pulled Liitha to the door of her rooms and off they went, out of the Tower to satisfy the cravings that could be satisfied in public. When they

arrived at the Spanked Woman Cara smiled to see the astonishment on Liitha's face at the sign our side the Inn. Going back to stand next to Liitha, Cara leaned in close and whispered in Liitha's ear. "If you misbehave again over something so silly, that will be you."

 

Cara Ramsey

 

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

 

Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah

[Liitha]

Cara pulled away slowly, she felt her hands on her hands and looked into her eyes, by the creator those eyes where lovely. “As much as I would like to continue with this kissing business,” Liitha smiled at the wink, she had had a period when she had been reaching to try and be what her genes was, in time she had goten over it, it has been frigth, a false wall she put up to protect herself. She knew that now, as well as she knew that the reason was she had been acting it for the wrong reason, without the understanding of the actions, just playing at them.

 

“but I do not want to have to explain myself to anyone, nor have my private affairs discussed in public. So why don’t we get you presentable, a good face wash will do you the world of good.” She grined as she realised how she must be looking after last nights events and then falling asleep here out in the grass, she could even now as she thougth about it feel that it was more then tears staining her face.

 

As Cara stuck out her tounge again it took some self restraint to not bend in for another kiss and some more play. “Come on no use sitting there like some stranded fish.” She took Cara's hand though and let herself be pulled up, it was another restraint to force herself to let go of the Aes Sedais hand before they entered the city. She kept up but as they walked her body moved into the familar walking of balance where she was almost stalking along, her eyes scaning the masses. It was instinct, both from guard duty and from watching Aes Sedai backs from time to time as an escort guard. This was something she knew, something familiar to her, something second nature and she felt relaxed in a way, the familiarity of the situation, of walking through the streets she had been walking so many times.

 

Untill they where in tower grounds and she could relax in another manner, in Caras quarters she was able to take a bath. As she scrubed down in the hot water she felt almost anew. She wished she had a new set of clothes, but she had changed yesterday and even with her drunk state she hadnt fouled them that bad. She brushed off some dirt and grass, tossing it into a bin before sliping into her shift again.

 

She smiled at Cara who seemed to have changed, “I do not want to sit in here, not now, why don’t we go to this inn I know, I think you will find it to your liking. Seeing as I have missed breakfast with all this running around, I think you owe me a breakfast as well Liitha.”

 

Liitha walked closer and found herself pulled in y Cara, this time she kept her eyes open looking deep into her eyes as they kissed. Her arms holding Cara in a close embrace. Even when the kiss eventualy was broken she didnt let go, but kept runing her hands caressingly up and down Caras back with a smile. No even had she wanted she knew by now she couldnt let go easily, she was traped and should it come to it would be willing to figth to keep this.

 

“Come on then, lets go get something to eat, I am sure you need it to keep your strength up.” She felt Cara twist in her arms and her hands slid off her body, into Caras hands as she pulled her towards the door, and the thougth of food actualy made Liitha hungry, though it brougth so many new thougths to mind. Fruit, yes fruit to be fed piece by piece...she broke the thougth of and focused on Cara, and then on her soroundings as they once again came out of tower grounds.

 

She for some reason thougth she should maybe say something, then again in some way it didnt feel like it was nesicary, not yet. She was happy just observing Cara untill they came to a halt outside an inn, she looked up and arched an eyebrow at the sign. Not the typical place she would belive an Aes Sedai would go, then again maybe just the reason Cara had chosen it.

"If you misbehave again over something so silly, that will be you." Liitha turned on Cara and looked at it, she had heard the whisper well enough and there where no way to missunderstand it, yet the tone in Cara's voice was not that of an Aes Sedai. She smiled down as they entered the inn, a tingle had went throug her for some reason the idea didnt scare her as much as it made her curios. Whispering back and resisting to bend closer and take a nib of the earlobe. "Mayhaps it will be worth it" she pulled out of reach as the innkeeper aproached and ordered a table in the midle of the room, which would make them sorounded, and futher more not giving Cara a chanse to reply.

 

She ordered a pai with eggs and bacon, as well as some tea for herself and waited while Cara placed her order.