Black isn't your color (Jocelyn)

[jasonr]

ooc: yet another thread to make me die of laughter... god, this is great!

 

IC: Noy walked through the farm. He observed himself, and frowned. It was odd, he had always thought that men who liked other men would look like women. Yet, even though his preferences had changed, he had not adopted a swaying walk, nor did he paint his face or anything else a regular woman would do. Perhaps he was the male half of it, and maybe Ged would be the only one who would turn girly... or maybe it was just too soon to tell.

 

When he really thought about it, kissing Ged hadn't really changed anything about him, although he had aquired a tendency to look at men in a different way, especially the half-naked, sweaty ones. Noy shook himself and walked on. What really puzzled him was why he had suddenly become so attracted to men? It was confusing, he had a wife and a child, so it was not as if he had always perfered women... it was just different now. Or maybe it was because of Ged. Noy nearly giggled when he thought of Ged's muscular body. He was such a pritty boy!

 

All that the day was missing was to see Ged shirtless, that would certainly be fun. Noy sighed longingly in anticipation with the thought, he was sure that he could convince Ged to go shirtless, and maybe they should train together. Perhaps he would just say how sweaty Ged looked and make him remove his coat. It's always a pitty to loose a good coat.

 

Noy's head snapped up. Light! What was he thinking. Light, he wasn't feminine, it just wasn't right. The Creator made people a certain way, and men were ment to be with women... but men were so attractive. Noy shook himself agaian and broke into a trot. Light! He had a wife, why couldn't he just remember that? On second thought, that hunk of a man Ged was very distracting. Noy nearly gaped, light, was this what it was like to be a woman?

 

Noy trotted along, going until he found a sight that fascinated him. There, in his sight, was Jocelyn, and not only that, but she was wearing a Black Coat! What was wrong with her? Did she have any sence of fassion. Noy walked up to her in annoyance. How could she bear to wear that, it was disgracing the name of women. "Light Jocelyn! How can you wear that? Black, like, is so not your color. It makes that pritty little face of yours disapear. How do expect to impress any men like that?"

 

ooc: omg.... this is sooooo funny... (but my conversation with kate was funnier)

[Jocelyn]

Growing weary of sitting inside, looking out the window of Dashiva's house, Jocelyn decided to go for a walk. Rion was busy with training, and for once she was tired of reading. Some exercise would do her a world of good. Stepping out into the afternoon sun, she took a few steps before racing back inside. It was quite cool out there, so she headed up the stairs to her room. Looking around, she couldn't find her cloak, her brow furrowing as she tried to recall where she had left it. Of course, it was in the stables, with her horse.

 

Muttering, she ducked into the next room, spying one of Rion's jackets tossed over the edge of the bed. It would be infinitely warmer to wear it than no cloak, so without a second thought she shrugged into the black jacket, uncaring that it was far too big on her small frame.

 

Jocelyn breathed deeply as she strolled along, enjoying the fresh air, not caring overly about her appearance. It was not like there was anyone she wanted to impress, besides Rion anyway, and she doubted he would care if she wore nothing. She giggled at the thought, likely he would care, especially if she went walking around in the open as the creator made her.

 

"Light Jocelyn! How can you wear that? Black, like, is so not your color. It makes that pritty little face of yours disapear. How do expect to impress any men like that?" Jocelyn gave a start as she heard a voice address her, whipping around to face Noy. She gaped for a moment, before shutting her jaw with a click, scowling at him. This woolheaded man dared to insult her attire?

 

Folding her arms beneath her bosom, Jocelyn tapped her foot, irritated at the hide of this buffoon. "Clearly I am not dressing to impress." She snapped coldly, her emerald eyes flashing. "Though if I was, I doubt I would need the advice of some foolish man." She hissed, casting a disparaging eye over Noy. Really! The hide of the man! "If you could see past your nose, you'd realise that this coat is not mine, I know better than to wear black." She tossed her hair over her shoulder arrogantly, tugging Rion's jacket closer around her. She was surprised that Noy had been right about the colour, she never wore black for that reason, but she thought it likely more a lucky guess than a genuine knowledge of fashion.

 

Jocelyn

 

OOC: I'm cracking up laughing just thinking of where this is going!!

[jasonr]

"Clearly I am not dressing to impress." She snapped coldly, her emerald eyes flashing. "Though if I was, I doubt I would need the advice of some foolish man." She hissed. "If you could see past your nose, you'd realise that this coat is not mine, I know better than to wear black."

 

Noy sniffed. "My nose is NOT that big! And besides honey, if you keep doing that," Noy mockingly pulled his coat tighter, "Then you're just making it worse. You're such a sop! If you keep acting like this then I might just have to think that you're letting all of those men focus on your bossom, perhaps Rion isn't enough for you!"

 

Noy sniffed again, but the win was in his hands for this round. "Girl, you're going to have to think up some much better insults if you think you're gonna best me. I'm really not impressed Jocelyn, I heard such great things about you... I suppose that they were just rumors." Noy rolled his eyes, why did she think that her fassion sence was better than his? He was so obviously the better.

 

Noy smirked at Jocelyn. He should really take this practice to heart, it would be good for learning how to deal with Ged. He would have to learn that Noy was the boss. Thinking of Ged put a smile on his face; now that was a man!

[Jocelyn]

Jocelyn gaped in outrage. How dare he insinuate that she was trying to attract unwanted male attention! She seethed, resisting the urge to cross her arms over her cleavage. She had always worn dresses that showed off what the creator had endowed her with, though she didn't go out of her way to enhance the appearance. Besides, Rion seemed to enjoy what she wore.

 

Opening her mouth to retort, she was cut off again as Noy continued. "Girl, you're going to have to think up some much better insults if you think you're gonna best me. I'm really not impressed Jocelyn, I heard such great things about you... I suppose that they were just rumors." Jocelyn made a strangled sound, outrage and incredulity making it difficult to utter coherent speech. Light, but she had never had a man speak to her so. She'd learnt early on that girls were prone to such pettiness, but to have an oblivious man try to give her fashion advice...it was just too much.

 

Planting her hands on her hips, Jocelyn glared at Noy's smug smirk, before her irritation became too much and she let him have it. "Just who do you think you are, a bloody woolheaded man, to give me advice on how to dress?" She demanded, her voice raising in volume. "You, with your lank, greasy hair falling dully over your collar! Ever heard of soap?" She sneered. "And the cut of your pants...please, what woman would look at you twice with them practically hanging off you? Especially when she could be appreciating someone's well turned calves and firm rear in well-cut trousers?" Jocelyn raised a brow in challenge, looking Noy up and down. He criticized her, when his appearance was obviously less than polished.

 

"I was learning about fashion when you were likely still putting frogs in girl's dresses." She declared smugly, tossing her hair over her shoulder once more in arrogant satisfaction. "I doubt you would know silk from course wool, you mangy cur." Jocelyn once more folded her arms beneath her bosom, looking terribly pleased with herself. Ha! She would teach him that she did not take groundless insults from an ignorant man.

 

Jocelyn

[jasonr]

"Just who do you think you are, a bloody woolheaded man, to give me advice on how to dress?" She demanded, her voice raising in volume. "You, with your lank, greasy hair falling dully over your collar! Ever heard of soap?" She sneered. "And the cut of your pants...please, what woman would look at you twice with them practically hanging off you? Especially when she could be appreciating someone's well turned calves and firm rear in well-cut trousers?"

 

Phaw! Who needed women when there was a hunk of a man waiting for you, who gets sweaty after a day of work and can be easily convinced to take his shirt off and come into his arms... Noy had to hold back these thoughts so that lust didn't take over while he was thinking of his man. Noy wanted to smile but that would ruin it, thinking of Ged scrambled his brains, that boy sure was nice looking. And Ged definately had a nice bottom.

 

"I was learning about fashion when you were likely still putting frogs in girl's dresses." She declared smugly, tossing her hair over her shoulder once more in arrogant satisfaction. "I doubt you would know silk from course wool, you mangy cur." She folded her arms below her bossom and Noy rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just do that again, I think that some men in Carhein didn't see you showing off your bossom. I'm telling you, it's not impressing me, and besides, I wouldn't want to hurt that poor Rion, he's a nice boy."

 

Noy smirked, the last laugh was HIS!

[Jocelyn]

"Why don't you just do that again, I think that some men in Carhein didn't see you showing off your bossom. I'm telling you, it's not impressing me, and besides, I wouldn't want to hurt that poor Rion, he's a nice boy." Jocelyn's cheeks flamed red with outrage. How dare he insinuate she was trying to allure him with her bosom? She would never do anything to hurt Rion, and he seemed to be happy with the way she dressed. His smirk was infuriating, how Jocelyn longed to slap it from his face. Instead she balled her hands into fists in her skirts.

 

A thought suddenly struck her. Her bosom didn't impress him? Certainly it wasn't the most buxom, but she had never known any man to be unimpressed by a hint of cleavage...unless Noy here was one of those men who weren't interested in men. Jocelyn suddenly looked at him in a new light, noting how clean his clothing was, if the pants were somewhat ill cut, and his hair did not have a single strand out of place.

 

"I would never hurt Rion." She said through clenched teeth, calming down somewhat. The cur had insulted her thoroughly. But wasn't he married? Jocelyn was sure it was he? She decided to punish him for his slurs. "Though can you say the same about your wife, pretty boy?" She sneered the last, hoping she had been correct, that Noy was one of those men who preferred other men to women, like she had suspected.

[jasonr]

"I would never hurt Rion." She said through clenched teeth. "Though can you say the same about your wife, pretty boy?" Noy began rolling his eyes, but at the end, his face froze, his entire body froze. It was like being slapped in the face, or getting hit with cool metal, ringing in his head, flashing through his brain. How did she know about Mara? He had only told three people in the entire Farm, Isha, who would never tell anyone, Ged, who was even less likely, and.... RION! Noy was going to hunt that boy down and drag him by his ears before beating him with a whip, Noy swore that he was going to beat Rion until he began sobbing, then beat Jocelyn next to him.

 

Noy staggered. "You know nothing... nothing about me you... you..." It all came crashing down on Noy, the betrayal, the pain that Mara must be feeling. Noy fell to the ground and burried his face in his hands and began sobbing. "Light, I'm such a whore." Noy continued sobbing into his hands, torn between sadness and glee, did she really think that he was pritty? Hehe, it would be so good to get recognition, but no, he had caused mara pain so he was sad. But Jocelyn had said that he was pritty! That was great! Maybe Ged would be impressed? No, it was sad, he was sad. Noy sniffled, light, he was so confused and his emotions were in a whirl. Maybe he was pregnent! No, no, men didn't get pregnent... but Mara did.

 

That brought a new wave of sadness. But he was pritty!

[Jocelyn]

Jocelyn expected a reaction from her words, but to see Noy break down into tears was terribly disconcerting. "Light, I'm such a whore." Suddenly Jocelyn had a rare sensation, a feeling of guilt. Perhaps she had pushed too far, had been out of line. Burn him, he had insulted her, and accused her of deliberately trying to hurt Rion, the one who meant more to her than anything. She had spoken out of anger, but it appears her words had inflicted more damage than she had intended.

 

How very awkward. Jocelyn twisted her hands into her skirt, torn between offering some sympathy and turning away in horror from the sight before her. In the end a sense of decency won out, and she lifted a hand to pat Noy's shoulder. "I didn't mean to imply that you were a..." She hesitated, knowing how little Rion approved of her language. "a loosely moralled man." She bit her lip, unsure of how to go on.

 

"Um...did you want to talk about it?" She offered with a shrug, wondering if she had indeed been correct in her surmising that Noy was one of those men who preferred the company of other males over women. She had never met such a man before, though she had heard of them. Then again, she may be completely off the mark with her assumptions. "I didn't mean to throw your wife in your face like that, Rion did swear me to secrecy...and you made me angry. I'm sorry." She tried the apology, surprised that it sounded genuine, even to her own ears. Light, life with Rion had changed her so much.

 

Jocelyn