Help

[damane]

i was just sitting here beating my brain trying to figure out some way i could help my niece and her unconventional family.

 

i thought maybe some of my DM family could help me.

 

If you don't believe in Gay Rights then i understand if you don't want or care to help.

 

The following link is a story of their fight. i appreciate all of your input and advice.

 

 

[Canukistani]

gun + adoption worker's head + pen = parental rights

[damane]

No, this has to be legal

[Canukistani]

oh. well, you didn't say that so i got nothing.

[damane]

Well it was still a good idea. We just don't want the parties involved to go to jail.

[Canukistani]

soo, have someone else hold the gun like a horribly depressed BTGL teen.

[Kivam]

Damane - that's horrible.  Let me take a look at the state statutes and do some research.  Unfortunately, if Judge Davis is right about the law, they may either need to move out of AL (say to NY, establish residency, adopt here, and move back - at which point AL would need to recognize the adoption, as I understand it) or limit themselves to executing powers of attorney, health care proxies, and other documents that will confer some of  the benefits of parenthood  :-\

[damane]

Well the point is that it shouldn't matter whether or not they are gay. They should have the same Rights as everyone else who lives in this country.

 

i personally am not gay, but if we allow our Government or our Courts to start taking away the Rights of gays, then who is to say they won't start taking away our Rights. Would we just stand around if they were trying to take away our Freedom of Speech?

 

[Kivam]

Damane,

 

I completely agree with you.  That said, as a practical matter, if you approach this from the standpoint of "how do I get Alabama to provide full equality to gay couples" . . . Well, let's just say the kid will likely be in college before you accomplish anything.  Look, its your family, so far be it from me to tell you anything at all in terms of how to approach it, but you need to decide what your primary goal is.  If its achieving full equality in Alabama . . . Good luck.  I'm behind you 100%, but I don't see how anything you or I or your niece can do will make that happen in anything resembling a reasonable timeframe.

 

If, on the other hand, you are asking for help solving the particular practical problems caused by alabama's refusal to recognize your niece as Khaya's parent, that's a different story.  But in that case, moral outrage, while well and truly justified, isn't going to get anything accomplished.  As I see it, they have a few options:

 

1. Move to a different county and repetition for adoption (lambda legal notes that some alabama trial courts have granted second parent adoptions; they should call lambda and find out which counties, though there's still a risk of denial even there)

 

2. Move to a state that allows 2d parent adoptions (a bigger hardship, but it eliminates all risk of denial)

 

Or 3. (Perhaps in combination with 1) get to as close an approximation of legal parent status as they can through other devices: a co-parenting agreement (complete with teeth), health care proxy, power of attorney, perhaps even appointment as a guardian ad litem (though I don't know what the standards are in alabama)

 

That's my opinion as a lawyer.  I have a few lgbt attorney frends, one of whom is connected (I think) to lambda legal and is a parent along with her partner.  If your niece would like, I can reach out to her (she may have better advice). 

Let me know, and sorry I can't give you a more optimistic answer

[damane]

Well that has been very helpful.

 

While getting Alabama to recognize gay rights would be the complete goal, we are at this time just trying to get through the adoption issue they are having. They have even gone to California and gotten married since they made gay marriages legal. But now California's law is being challenged by the Supreme Court. We will see how that turns out.

 

If they decide to let the law stand then my niece is still married and according to the judge in his own words he would allow Cari to adopt Khaya as a second parent.

[Kivam]

Well that has been very helpful.

 

While getting Alabama to recognize gay rights would be the complete goal, we are at this time just trying to get through the adoption issue they are having. They have even gone to California and gotten married since they made gay marriages legal. But now California's law is being challenged by the Supreme Court. We will see how that turns out.

 

If they decide to let the law stand then my niece is still married and according to the judge in his own words he would allow Cari to adopt Khaya as a second parent.

 

The Cal. Supreme Court already ruled that the marriages that occurred before Prop. 8 passed are valid and will continue to stand:

 

SAN FRANCISCO – California's Supreme Court upheld the state's gay-marriage ban Tuesday but said the 18,000 same-sex weddings that took place before the prohibition passed are still valid — a ruling decried by gay-rights activists as a hollow victory. Demonstrators outside the court booed, wept and yelled, "Shame on you!" Activists said they would go back to the voters as early as next year in a bid to repeal the ban.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090526/ap_on_re_us/us_gay_marriage

 

The US Supreme Court has nothing to say about this - its not a federal issue.  Their marriage is valid in California.  That said, that doesn't necessarily mean Alabama will recognize the marriage as valid.  Alabama's state constitution in fact prohibits Alabama from recognizing the marriage (the "Alabama Sanctity of Marriage Amendment" to the Alabama state constitution).  Basically, the Alabama court will not recognize the marriage (in fact, it may not, under Alabama law, no matter what the judge might personally want to do) and they'd be looking at challenging the Alabama Constitution as unconstitutional (under the Federal Full Faith and Credit Clause of the Federal Constitution).  Unfortunately, it's well settled that the full faith and credit clause does not require states to accept marriages that violate their public policy, and Alabama's public policy on this is clear.  So that would be a losing battle.  :-\

 

Bottom line - under the law as it stands now, unless they go to one of the jurisdictions in AL that has allowed second parent adoption (again, check with Lambda), it won't work for them in Alabama.  IMO, the California marriage won't impact that one way or the other, unfortunately.

 

 

Another idea - California permits nonresident adoptions if the birth parent lives in California.

 

http://www.adoptlaw.com/clientserv.html

 

If Kim establishes residence in California for a short period of time, they could do a second parent adoption in California.

[damane]

Now that may be an idea. i will let her know. Thanks

[Dunbar]

I really can't offer any real help, other than to wish them and you all the best and to say that family isn't about blood, it's about love *nod*

[Kivam]

I really can't offer any real help, other than to wish them and you all the best and to say that family isn't about blood, it's about love *nod*

 

Unless the dark one wants you to sacrifice your family to him, at which point it's about blood again.  Specifically, how much they have in them.

[damane]

Kivam has a good point there.

 

But thanks Demi *hugs* for caring.