The Wizard People (Harry Potter fans MUST read)

[JenniferL]

"The Wizard People, Dear Reader" is this completely awesome retelling of the first Harry Potter movie. You can either listen to it as a book on tape, by itself, or you can put your DVD on mute and use it as an alternate narration. Its very difficult to describe exactly what it is. Its not exactly a straight up parody, but it is funny. The best way to describe it, I suppose, is as if its a version of Harry Potter being told by someone who has seen tiny snippits of the movie and is trying to retell it based on memory. Some of its accurate. Some of it is garbled. Quite a bit of it is pure fabrication.

 

Go download.

 

http://www.illegal-art.org/video/wizard.html

[Maria]

Nia, when you come to Norway in August we are *SO* doing this!

[JenniferL]

You'll like it.

 

Here's a transcript of Chapter One, for those of you who need encouragement.

 

The ominous fog makes the nighttime even more hoary and mysterious than usual, here in suburban Britannia. Out from the shadows of God knows what dimension steps the oldest wizard in the books. The near dead Dumbledore. He is clearly a powerful beast and walks with dignity despite his age and attire.

 

He sees a cat that he knows right before he sets to work. He produces a wizard’s tool, known as the street darkener and with a practiced angling of the arm, begins to siphon away the clarity made from mankind’s bulbs. Magical deeds are afoot dear readers, magical darkness a must.

 

The atmosphere complete, the cat now protected by shadows, transforms into who else but Professor Hardcastle McCormick, and old friend, an ally of Dumbledore, the half-dead. She is truly a great wizard also and possesses many a skill that might aid in tonight’s random errands.

 

They speak gravely of tonight’s horrible decision. And dear readers, trust me, their work tonight is dubious. What are they to do, are they really going to go through with tonight’s desperate plan? The choice is clearly in powerful hands, as Dumbledore ponders with his gigantic brain.

 

Just then, a light approaches in the clouds. Shredding through the stratus, descends no other than Hagar the Horrible, a huge man that if you didn’t know better, you may mistake him for a giant hairy truck. He is Dumbledore’s gofer, and now perched upon his sky-leopard; Hagar seems at the end of an errand that almost bested him.

 

But lo, out from his manly pape, he produces the most powerful baby in the universe. Dumbledore accepts the swaddled child like the delicate button of an atomic bomb. His bowels tense. No false moves here.

 

Hardcastle McCormick pleads with Dumbledore not to go through with the plan. “What plan,” you ask? Well, they are going to leave this veritable weapon of the gods, this paradox of babiness and power right here, on a fricken Muggle’s doorstep!

 

But “shhh,” says Dumbledore to the baby, and “shhh,” he says to the lady, as Hagar gnashes his teeth in inner conflict and almost drowns in snotty fearful tears, his master Dumbledore tells him to wait in the frickin car if he has to.

 

And, the baby..is left. The baby, with the most telling of scars. The baby that is the seed of power. The baby that is the inheritor of the horrible hoary hammer of the gods, Harry, the wizard who was destined to vanquish all evil, and if he so wishes, brings it back again! Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone!

[Maria]

*ggls* Blasphemy! *lol*

[Niamh Sedai]

I am sitting here sniggering to myself like some sort of lunatic... ;)

[JenniferL]

Its even better if you can hear the voice. I just cannot describe it.

 

The same guy worked on this cartoon. Its sort of dirty.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc9y5ayeeb4&search=neely%20washington

[Cleopatra Narisse]

:shock:

 

*lol*

[shanara74]

I read your lil' transcription and following that, I just sort of twitched then burst into laughter. THAT IS GREEAATT! I am so downloading that. Thx! :D

[Kepen heal]

You do now mother this is a perfect flie trap for all blues. Its going to attract everone of them, even the aspies.

 

*tries to resist o so cool temptation of Harry Potter*

*hits self to try and resists, dumps water on self, tries everthing but eventually comes running back*

 

I coudlnt resist

[JenniferL]

The Blues like Harry Potter? Fancy that.

 

*hums*

[shanara74]

Everyone likes Harry Potter. It's right up there with rum and whatnot. And the GIMP computer art program.

[Niamh Sedai]

The Blue Ajah Hates Harry Potter... in an alternative universe maybe *lol*

[Jhaenara]

I haven't read HP...

 

*goes into hiding*

[Maria]

*ggls* Oh Jhae, we still love you, although it's very hard to understand how you have been able to resist The Awesome for so long.

[Kepen heal]

Well reallly i havnt read the books either

 

*pulls Jhea out of hiding*

Hey thanks again i love the siggy

 

I have just watched the movies alot. I hope they make a movie of all of them so that that way i dont have to read the books. There to big!!!!!!

[JenniferL]

Wait. What? You want them to make movies so you don't have to READ? Why are you at a WoT fansite, then?

[Charis alAslan]

hahah! omg, this is hilarious! :P

[Jhaenara]

Aww thanks Mia... and she even posted while she's supposed to be gone... :D

 

I'll read them eventually I'm sure... lol.

[Niamh Sedai]

KEPEN, YOU WILL READ LORD OF CHAOS WHICh IS 1600 PAGES LONG BUT YOU WON'T READ HARRY POTTER WHICH IS 700 PAGES LONG???? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

 

*facepalm*

 

;)

[Gabriel Sedai]

lol,