Writing a new Bio: Need comments

[JainFarstrider]

What do you guys think of this new bio I wrote. I need to work out some of the kinks, but it's mostly done.

 

 

 

 

Name: Mary Sue 

Age:220

Place of Origin: Shienar

Hair Color: Brown/Red

Eye Color: Green

Height: 8’ 5”

Weight: 460

Body Type: Muscular

 

Brief History:  The wolves howled and the moon was full on the night that Mary Sue was born. He was left alone in a forest minutes after his birth. The forest turned out to be home to a large bear, who was angry at having his peace disturbed. When the bear approached Mary, he jumped into the air and kicked it in the stomach, then with the bear momentarily stunned, he strangled the life out of it.

 

From the day he was born Mary fended for himself, becoming the most skilled hunter in all of Randland. When he was twelve, he was walking in the northern part of Shienar, and was ambushed by twelve Fades and an army of trollocs, using his fists and a tree branch Mary killed every one of the Fades which in turn caused the trollocs to die. Upon returning to Shienar with the heads of the Fades, Mary was crowned King.

 

During the next years, Mary would fight off armies from the blight single-handedly and was spoken of in fear by the armies of the Dark. In one particular occasion he was fighting tens of thousands of trollocs and discovered that he could channel when he sneezed, causing a earthquake that destroyed the entire army of trollocs and also causing the blight to recede far to the north.

 

Taking the next few months to fully master this newly discovered ability, he also found that he could touch not only the one power, but also a pure version of the true power that he determined must come directly from the creator himself. Upon discovering this new found gift, Mary decided to assault Shayol Ghul directly. Easily defeating all the defenses of the fortress, Mary arrived at the entrance to the bore itself, where he challenged the Dark One to a series of competitions, drinking, eating, and wrestling. Mary easily defeated the Dark One in all three contests, but was unable to destroy him because he discovered that the Dark One was actually his evil twin brother. He tried to convince his brother to turn back to the light, when he refused, Mary was forced to seal him back inside the bore.

 

In the following years, Mary took control of all the countries including the lands to the east and the lands of the seanchan.  After he had done all of this, Mary grew bored, he had ruled for so long that he wondered what it would be like to serve another. Therefore Mary decided to withdraw from his throne and go to the white tower, because he thought that being a servant to the Aes Sedai would be a change of lifestyle that he needed.

 

Personal Skills: Complete mastery over all forms of combat and channeling

 

Flaws: Dandruff

 

[Matalina]

I really hope this is a joke, lol

 

Mat

[JainFarstrider]

If you can't tell, then i did my job right.

 

Also, i wasn't sure if anyone else would find this funny.

[Winterwinds]

I know I dont belong here, but...

 

Heck, why let it go to waste? Do a thread on the Rev One forum with it might be interesting.

[JainFarstrider]

I'm going to have to disagree, a bad joke is all this bio is good for.

[Raeyn]

 

I got it, Jain.  :)  I appreciate a good mocking of Mary Sues, and this was DEFINTELY a classy example of one - good job! <3

[Matalina]

In the ten years I've seen this be a real bio submitted so you never know.  And I've seen a particular person post it just like this to see what ppl think.

 

Mat

[Raeyn]

 

Oh Mata, I will concur.  But as he had the male character named Mary Sue, I was definitely going to risk thinking it all a joke.  *giggles*

[Matalina]

lol Dr Rodney Mackay's real name is Merideth (on Start Gate Atlantis)... not the actor's the characters name.  Highly plausible it's a nick for something. 

 

[JainFarstrider]

I could be wrong, but it seems you are unfamiliar with the term Mary Sue, which is used to describe an overly perfect and idealized character whom exhibits no flaws, the term stems from a character created from a star trek parody.

 

If you did know what Mary Sue referred too, and was just pointing out it could be a coincidence, then ignore the above.

 

Also,

In the ten years I've seen this be a real bio submitted so you never know.  And I've seen a particular person post it just like this to see what ppl think.

 

Mat

You have my condolences

 

[Matalina]

I am aware of what a Mary Sue is.

[Raeyn]

 

We've just had a LOT of Mary Sue players throughout the years, so she's understandably wary. ;)

[JainFarstrider]

Well, i'm sorry, i didn't want to anger anyone, i just thought it would be humorous.

[Talavin]

Don't worry, it was great ;D I really, really, really wish that you had actually submitted this to me. That would have made my day. I'm fairly certain that no one is angry, but I do agree that after being a bio checker (or any staff for that matter) for a while, you get very paranoid when it comes to Mary Sues ;D

 

 

[Matalina]

like I said after 10 years it gets old.

[Talavin]

Lol, I definately understand you Mat :P But cheer up, you don't have to deal with those bios anymore- that's my job. ;)

[Matalina]

I've never had to deal with bios ever lol...I've always had someone else do the job cause I dispise it :P

 

but I am impressed with any who can do the job well *bows*

[Talavin]

It's merely an excersize of patience... and sometimes a few miracles here and there ;D

[Matalina]

lol my patience has always been limited.

[Talavin]

That's when I hope for the miracles ;)