Thinking Green (Attn Loraine Sedai)

[Eqwina]

Kabria sat on the edge of her bed, with her ankles crossed and her hands in her lap. Her eyes studied the beautiful drawing of a deer that hung on her wall, but her mind was elsewhere. That morning she had run into Jasine again and in a fit she had blurted out that she wanted him for a warder. Perhaps not the most foolish thing she had done, but close to it. His reaction had only made her feel worse. His ever present smile had faded and his tanned cheeks had paled; if she’d not known better she would have thought he was about to sick up. Truly Kabria did not know what she wanted, Arath, Jasine and Perivar were all nice boys and any would do for a Warder, but in truth she wanted to confirm her Ajah choice before she started thinking about men.

 

She did not have a clock in her small room, but having a keen sense of time was ingrained deep by the time you became an Accepted. She had a meeting with Loraine Sedai in a few minutes and her heart was pounding in her ears. In the last few weeks the Green Ajah had consumed her mind. She’d read the book she found on top of the one Jasine had bought, but it was still not enough. To Kabria the Green Ajah was shrouded in mystery, but hopefully today would shed some light.

 

Gathering her skirts she took and deep breath and walked out into the Tower halls. The long walk to the Ajah Quarters gave her time to think about all the questions she wanted to ask. Hopefully Loraine would be ready and willing to answer.

 

Running errands had given her a chance to see the Green Ajah Quarters before so the tapestries of battles and weapons on the wall were not great shock. Seeing them did make another question arise. Raising her fist she knocked loudly on the door and gathered her skirts preparing to curtsy.

 

[U4ea]

Boredom never sat well with Loraine and since she'd returned to the Tower, she'd found herself with nothing to do but harass her warder. She tried to keep that to a minimum, though she'd enjoyed her trips to the Yard more than any time she'd spent couped up in the Tower. She laid the tea service out and smiled as she dismissed the Novice who'd run up a snack for she and her guest. She hoped the girl wouldn't be late, but that was mostly because she was eager to have something to do other than gather dust reading books.

 

She smiled again as she heard the knock and moved to the door, her deep green skirts brushing across the floor as she did so. She ran her hands over her hair, checking the knot she'd finally perfected again and then schooled her features. Aes Sedai serenity and all that nonsense. She pulled the door open, fighting to keep herself from ordering the Accepted not to curtsey. Respect was demanded and, while Loraine knew that just because the girls dipped a curtsey didn't always mean they respected you, at least it was a formality that took the place of awkward silences.

 

"Ah, Kabria, I am happy that you are here," she said softly, stepping back and waving the girl inside. "Come, I've ordered tea and a light snack. Make yourself comfortable." She closed the door behind her and took a seat in a tall straight-backed chair. Kyn laughingly called it her throne, but it was far too comfortable for that. She smiled, watching the Accepted move and sit. She didn't know much about this woman, but she could see the eagerness in her eyes and her posture. How long would it be before the dam broke and her questions spilled out of her like a river breaking free?

[Eqwina]

No words were ever going to make her comfortable, but Kabria tried to obey as she took her seat. Still unsure of the woman in front of her, Kabria smiled and made another small curtsy before taking her seat. Most Green’s that she’d met had a temper as short as her own, which often did not bode well for a woman of lesser rank. So until she was sure, she kept her eyes down and her melodic voice as meek as she could.

 

“ Thank you Loraine Sedai I managed to miss breakfast so a light snack would be very much appreciated.” As if announcing that her statement was true her stomach grumbled loudly and Kabria flushed. “I am sorry Aes Sedai, I know that skipping a meal was foolish” Well this was not going at all how she planned! She would never find out the true working of the Green if she could not manage more than a weak apology. Frustrated she shook the few hairs that had fallen into her face and tried to begin again.

 

“I came here to learn what it means to be a Green? Not the answer that you give to everyone who asks, but I want to know…” Her eyes shone with their desire. “Everything!”

 

She sat forward in her chair as if by just being closer to the Sister she could absorb everything she knew. “I know that Green stand ready, but how do they prepare? Is it by fighting in the blight? Or do you hunt Shadowspawn as well as dark friends? Do you all have more than one Warder? How did you decide who to bond? Do you know how to use that weapon?” Her eyes drifted to the other weapons around the rooms and she smiled. It felt..right.

 

[U4ea]

Loraine arched her eyebrow at the rumbling stomach, but said nothing as she slid the plate of bread and cheese in front of Kabria. She didn't have long to wait before the questions spilled out, jumbled and nearly tripping over each other in her eagerness to get answers. Loraine laughed and held up her hand, "One at a time, please!"

 

She shook her head and couldn't stop the smile from stretching across her lips. Aes Sedai serenity be damned. She poured tea for them both, adding just enough sugar to take the edge off her own before slowly stirring. "Let's see, I can't tell you everything, simply because there aren't enough hours in a day for that. I'll do my best, but I make no promises that something won't sneak up on you once you have a shawl on your shoulders. That Aes Sedai ability to control your expression is well beat upon during your first years being one, let me tell you." She took a sip of her tea and set the cup aside. "We prepare the way anyone does, I think. We practice our weaves, train with the warders to become proficient with weapons, stay in shape and stay alert to the things going on inside and outside the Tower. We help patrol the Blight AND hunt Darkfriends, since that is really all the same fight. How many warders an Aes Sedai has is a personal decision. I have only one, myself and he's rather a hand full. I couldn't imagine balancing his moods and someone else, too. Though the Greens are the only Aes Sedai in the Tower that bonds more than one warder. We can do that because we need a small army for the fights we usually find ourselves in. Picking a warder is, again, a personal thing. It depends on what you want in a warder and what you find when you need one. I'm afraid it's not like window shopping in Tar Valon. You don't find one you like the look of and buy it. There's a lot more to it than that. And as for that weapon," she paused and looked over her shoulder, the smile still hovering on her lips. "I can use them all, though I'm most proficient with the sword laying in its case under the window."

 

She tilted her head at Kabria, the smile still lingering. "Did I get them all?"

[Eqwina]

With every question that was answered another came to mind, but Kabria tried to gain at least a small measure of control. After all this woman could be one of her Ajah Sister, and she didn’t want her thinking a completely fool. Sitting up straighter she reached for a small piece of cheese and took the time she was chewing to compose her thoughts.

 

“Yes Loraine Sedai, you answered them all, but I have a few more if you don’t mind.” Holding the half finished slice of cheese in her hands, Kabria’s blue eyes scanned the weapons again. “ Did you know anything of these weapons before you came to the Tower? Or were you all Warder taught? How can I begin my training? Do I have to use a sword? Or can I pick my weapon?“

 

She thought for a moment on the small dagger she’d bought and suddenly found it insufficient when compared with the sword on the wall. “I know something of hand to hand combat, I was taught just before my time was over on the ships. Also..I.” She paused unsure if she should admit owning a weapon to a Sister. Would she turn her in? “A few weeks ago I bought a small dagger, from an armory in the city and…and a trainee from Arafel has been showing me something of how to use it. I wanted to be prepared, so when I am raised I will not be too far behind my sisters.”

[U4ea]

Loraine smiled, watching the Accepted fight to control what had to be a rampage of questions. “ Did you know anything of these weapons before you came to the Tower? Or were you all Warder taught? How can I begin my training? Do I have to use a sword? Or can I pick my weapon?“

 

"Ah, I have to admit, I knew a little about how to use a sword before I came to the Tower." She smirked and looked down at herself again. "You don't expect a Cairhienin noble to say that, I would think. My father was a very impressive swordsman and when he died it was my way of honoring him. It also drove the housekeeper crazy. That was an added perk." She took another sip of her tea and lowered the cup again. "You usually start your training with the Warders by requesting it. I believe the Mistress of Novices can arrange things for you, if you wish. In order to be in our Ajah, you have to be trained, at least a little bit. They usually like training you with a sword, but you can choose your weapon, I believe. It's been a while for me, but I doubt anyone will have a problem teaching you how to use something other than a sword."

 

“A few weeks ago I bought a small dagger, from an armory in the city and…and a trainee from Arafel has been showing me something of how to use it. I wanted to be prepared, so when I am raised I will not be too far behind my sisters.” Loraine smiled and leaned forward. It sounded as if this Accepted had already made her choice in Ajahs and was eager to get a jump on it.

 

"Between you and I, I brought my father's sword with me when I was a Novice, tucked away under the mattress in my quarters. And if you can find someone to train you, I won't tell. A word of caution, be careful with that training. Getting caught in the Yards can be hazardous to your hands. I got a month's worth of dish washing the first time I was foundin the Yard." She leaned back and lifted her cup again. "And don't worry about being behind others within any Ajah when you're raised. Your time will be better spent coming to terms with knowing that you've still a lot to learn once the shawl is on your shoulders." Her eyes clouded a moment, remembering the horrible years after she gained her shawl. She shook her head to clear it and smiled again. "If you missed breakfast, please... eat up!"

 

 

[Eqwina]

It was a great relief to know that her years spent with her nose in a book would not hinder her or put her at a disadvantage. Eyeing the plate hungrily she popped a few more pieces of cheese in her mouth. “ Oh I am careful Loraine Sedai, whenever Perivar..thats his name, helps me, we do it outside of the grounds. Out in Tar Valon. I have only had one lesson so I didn’t stab myself in the foot,  he said.” Her eyes shone with excitement at the realization that she had something in common with the woman in front of her. One of her biggest fears is that once being raised she would still be an outcast and find that she had nothing in common with her Sisters. That line of thought brought another question to mind.

 

“Is it possible that the Green Ajah would reject me?” Her intense blue eyes locked on Loraine’s, not even thinking that her ferocity could be considered rude. “I mean, can they say no?”

 

Oh the shame of that! It burned her to the bone just considering the possibility.

 

[U4ea]

Perivar, huh? Loraine schooled her features, but she was grinning on the inside. She pictured his bells and his less than humble wardrobe in her head and then eyed the girl in front of her again. Was she feeling a little protective of the trainee? She bit that thought off and focused again. She wasn't sure which one she should be protective of and she wondered if her protectiveness over her newfound friends was more an extension of her love for her sons. It was something to think about.

 

“Is it possible that the Green Ajah would reject me? I mean, can they say no?” Kabria's eyes nearly sparked with her eagerness and the question brought haunting memories back that she'd thought she'd buried long ago. Ajah secrets were Ajah secrets, but she couldn't lie. Oh, how to word this...?

 

"An Ajah has the right to deny acceptance, but I've never known it to happen before." Except the day she thought she'd been accepted and found out the truth within the Captain General's office. To wear her shawl and... she shook herself inwardly. It wasn't exactly rejection. The rest of the Tower would regard a newly raised Green as a full raised sister. It was only within her own body and inside the Green Halls that the truth was known for the falsity it was. "Is it just the weapons that attract you to the Green Ajah, Kabria? I know a good many Sister's with an affinity for a well honed blade..."

[Eqwina]

A weight had been lifted from her shoulders; Kabria sighed and settled back into her chair. For the first time she realized that she had tea, putting the cup to her lips she gulped the entire contents. With her choice in Ajah choice all but confirmed Kabria smiled. “Oh no Loraine Sedai, it was not the weapons at all. That is a more recent passion.”

 

Her tanned cheeks flushed and her hand drifted to where her dagger should be. If he could get away she and Perivar were going to go looking for throwing knives, a skill that had always fascinated her. “When I first was raised to Accepted I had thought my path was headed in another way. I quickly learned that my..quicksilver temper was not wanted among the Grays and I have no facility for healing so the Yellows wouldn’t even look at me.” Kabria cleared her throat realizing she had made it sound as if the Green Ajah were a last resort. “I have a passion for books and reading, but not the same as the Browns. I grew up on a Sea Folk ship, for 5 years, and before that I was a sheltered servant child. I know nothing of the world I live in, which is why I turned to my books. Now, I want to see the world I have read about,and I want to make a difference. The one constant in my entire life has been my passion for…well for the Light. I am disgusted by Darkfriends and Shadowspawn. I’ve had some small experience there and I know that I want to do what I can to rid the world of that kind of vermin.”

 

The speech had sounded grandiose, but it was what she felt. “It may sound as if I am making boasts Loraine Sedai, but I really feel as if the Green Ajah is where I can do the most good.” While she had more than her share of intelligence Kabria was not one to make speeches and the last had exhausted the limits of her social skills. Dropping her eyes she tried not to melt into the floor.

 

[U4ea]

Loraine listened to Kabria's reasonings, far from irritated at the rationality. That she was thinking this through was a plus for the Accepted. She'd seen far too many Accepteds choose the wrong Ajahs for the wrong reasons, jump into a pit of unhappiness and usually drift away from the Tower, miserable and alone. Oh, the Tower never really let anyone go completely, so they were dragged back to Tar Valon on a regular basis by their Ajahs. They were miserable, though. And living as long as they did was hard enough without adding undo misery.

 

"I am quite relieved, actually," she said, watching the down trodden eyes curiously. "Thinking through this decision is far from a bad thing, and I am pleased to hear you've entertained other Ajahs. If you share any inklings with the Grays, you will use them extensively as a Green. I, myself, am addicted to books and knowledge. If you step through that doorway, you'll find my bedroom lined with bookcases. My warder harasses me constantly about what color my shawl is, for he finds himself carting books about far more than is his want. You will be hard pressed to find an Aes Sedai in this Tower who couldn't fit in with any number of Ajahs. The choice you make, the one you join, is what speaks most to you. It's more about feeling at home, and..." she paused and smiled. "...feeling like you could do the most good with one over another. I think you'll find most of the Greens are more than a sword and a need to die defending the Tower at the Last Battle. While we have these skills, and our mission is to be ready when the Last Battle is upon us. It is not all that drives us."

[Eqwina]

It was strange to think that in a few months she could be sitting here as Loraine equal; or at least on more level footing that she was now. “I want to thank you Loraine Sedai” Kabria forced her eyes from the floor and to the Green Sisters. “I had some fears at coming here today. Not fears of you, but fears of what you might say. Even just meeting you has shown me that someday I will fit in, with whatever Ajah I choose as my home. I also want to thank you for not laughing at my torrent of questions. It is just so rare that I really speak with anyone ” Her hands twitched and she fiddled with the tea cup still in her hands. Admitting her reclusive tendencies to anyone was always hard. “and I am afraid that I lack some of the necessary skills in the area of communication. Many things I say do not come out in the way I intend.”

[U4ea]

Loraine watched the nervous hands and wondered if she'd have been like this if not for Moraine. Her friend had helped keep these moments at bay, if only by being around whenever Lor was feeling lonely. Light knew she'd been much like this when she'd been brought here. Having been alone among servants for most of her childhood and seeing only the people her grandfather felt were advantagous after that narrowed down her collection of friends. She smiled, understanding the girl's nerves all the more for that memory. "You'll find you have more time to polish socializing skills once there's a shawl on your shoulders, I think. When you've something to think about other than attaining it, anyway. And there's no need to thank me, Kabria. Any Aes Sedai worth her salt has more than enough time to listen and answer questions. It's only through our younger members that we truly find how strong we are. I hope you remember that when you've a shawl on your shoulders, too. You're welcome to stop in any time you like, too. Just send a note so I can make sure I'm here and not buried in the library. Perhaps I'll show you a trick or two with that daggar to surprise your Perivar with." She grinned and winked. "Keeping a warder, or even a trainee, on his toes is one of my favorite pasttimes." 

[Eqwina]

Kabria laughed and her face flushed when she thought about showing Perivar a thing or two. So far he had been the teacher and she the student. “Thank you Loraine Sedai, It may be that I will take you up on that offer.” Setting her tea cup on the table she stood and spread her skirts in a deep curtsy.

 

As she left the Green Ajah quarters she felt like skipping; but she held in her childish fancy and contented herself with a smile. With no classes left that day, Kabria headed out into the yards in hopes of finding Perivar free

 

[U4ea]

Loraine nodded to the Accepted and watched as she left the room. She smiled behind her, wondering what trick she could show the girl that Perivar wouldn't already know. Either way, Kabria seemed more at ease than she had been when she'd entered and that alone was worth the price of an hour of her afternoon.

 

 

 

OOC: ;) See you soon!