Nanna's Arches

[Grimmlocke]

Nanna sat in her room, darning a rather mangled-looking pair of socks. One of the other Novices had managed to smuggle a kitten into the Novice's Quarters, and the little monster had decided to take it's claws to her clothes! She had given the offending child a tongue-lashing stern enough to force the girl to tears before setting to mending her clothes. A fire burned in the small fireplace they were allowed, warming the old woman's bones while she worked. Despite the uncharacteristic heat of the season, her joints still pained her after the sun went down.

 

Another Novice lay on her small cot, reading a book while idly kicking her feet in the air. Nanna wasn't sure if she was even supposed to be in the room. Her roommates were far younger than her, and much more social than her. As a result, there seemed to be a revolving roster of girls coming in and out of the room at all times. Nanna had long since stopped trying to keep track of the children as they moved through the room. She simply minded what she was doing and concentrated on her studies. She hadn't come to the White Tower to make friends, after all.

 

She squinted in the firelight to concentrate on a particularly difficult stitch. With a grunt of frustration she set down her needle and thread and looked into the fire while she massaged her temple. She was getting too old to be much good at anything. Hopefully that would stop when she gained her ageless face. A few more years of working with the Power and she might stop aging entirely. It was a day she looked forward to, even if it was still years off.

 

A sudden weight on her lap surprised her. The kitten had hopped up into her lap and was looking up at her hopefully.

 

“Oh, no. You'll get nothing from me, you evil little creature.” She said, in her toughest, most dangerous tone of voice. In response the little cat purred and started rubbing it's chin on her fingertips. Despite herself, Nanna felt her anger starting to melt at the kitten's determination. She chucked it under the chin and set it back down so she could get back to work on her socks. She sighed contentedly. Finally, a nice, quiet evening, for once.

[Amadine]

Talina straightened the red-fringed shawl she wore as she strode through the Tower. Moving purposefully the Aes Sedai turned and walked through the Novice Quarters. Rounding the next corner a white-clad Novice almost ran right into Talina. The child squeaked and curtsied deeply before dissappearing into one of the rooms. Normally Talina would have taken the child to task for running through the halls but Talina had other, more important business tonight.

 

Arriving at her destination Talina smoothed a wisp of her gray hair back into her tight bun and rapped sharply on the door with her knuckles. She waited, and hearing a scrapping of a chair on the floor from within the room she steeled herself for the night's events to come.

 

The door opened and revealed Nanna, the look of irritation due to being disturbed quickly faded when she saw the Mistress of Novices standing at her door. Talina would have wagered that another Novice would have heard the rough side of Nanna's tongue for the interruption. Nanna curtsied deeply, well as deeply as her aged knees would allow, and as she straightened Talina spoke, "Nanna Tarquin, you will accompany me."

 

Without waiting for a reply Talina turned on her heel, hitched her shawl back into place and strode out of the Novice Quarters.

 

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Salidar Novices

[Grimmlocke]

Nanna opened her mouth to protest the order given the time of night, but Talina Sedai scooted off before she could get a word in edgewise. She sighed and barreled after the older woman. She opened her mouth to complain, but Talina started to walk faster. Nanna caught up to her again with a little more difficulty, prepared to give her a piece of her mind. In response, Talina walked even faster. Before long, Nanna was huffing and puffing just to keep up with the Aes Sedai. How under the Light did the woman keep up such a pace? Her joints were aching as she rushed down corridors and stairs after Talina. Novices and Accepted jumped out of the way of the determined Mistress of Novices, and the thundercloud that was forming on Nanna's face kept them frozen until after the pair had passed.

 

Nanna was so concentrated on keeping up with Talina that she didn't even realize where they were going until after they had started a descent deep into the Tower's bowels. Even after she realized where they were she didn't have much time to stand around gawking. Time, and apparently Talina, waited for no woman. Trying to take in as much as she could, Nanna hurried after her escort.

 

The place obviously needed a good cleaning. Where were the Tower Staff? Did they only clean the inhabited parts of the Tower? What a silly thing to do! If the whole Tower was clean, more Sisters might be persuaded to live in the unused parts of the Tower.

 

Talina turned a corner up ahead and Nanna was forced to stop thinking as she rounded the corner, tight on the Aes Sedai's rear. Suddenly, the other woman stopped, standing stock still. Nanna almost ran into her, twisting to avoid her, she stumbled past the Aes Sedai into the large, domed room she had heard of in whispers. In the center of the room stood three arches. It took her a moment to realize what they were. "The Three Arches?" She looked back at Talina for confirmation. Was it that time already? It hadn't been that long, had it?

[Amadine]

"The Three Arches?"

 

Talina nodded impatiently and shushed Nanna. She turned to Nanna and spoke in a hushed tone, "Nanna, I will now tell you two things that no woman hears until she enters this room. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, no matter your potential and you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter”angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they – were – not – there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Faltering leads to a failure.”

 

Nanna's face paled slightly as she processed the information and Talina continued, “This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, and you will have only mark against you. Twice more will you be allowed to come here, and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse. Many cannot do it their first time here. Now you may speak.”

 

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Salidar Novices

[Grimmlocke]

Nanna listened to Talina's words, obviously rehearsed, with a certain trepidation. People had died in the Testing? She had heard rumors, but had assumed that they were simply that, rumors! Being put out of the Tower for refusing three times? No chance to quit once they had begun? She almost opened her mouth to refuse for the first time, then Talina called her "child". The word snapped Nanna's mouth shut and hardened it to a thin line. She wasn't about to back away now. She was here to be an Aes Sedai, Light burn her, and she wasn't about to back out just because things got a little dangerous!

 

She looked past Talina, at the Sisters gathered around the Arches, at the woman standing with the Chalices. All for her. No, she was definitely in this for the duration, and there was nothing that would make her back away now. Especially not when they had done all this preparation for her. Certainly no sense in making all that work go to waste.

 

She straightened up and looked Talina Sedai right in the face. "I am ready now as I will ever be, Talina Sedai."

[Amadine]

"I am ready now as I will ever be, Talina Sedai."

 

Talina nodded. She had expected no less of Nanna Tarquin. Talina had seen the hesitation and deliberatley called the woman 'child', in full knowledge of just how deeply that word affected the woman standing with her.

 

Talina twitched a finger towards Firelle Tiaman and the Grey Sister began the ceremony proper.

 

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"

Talina responded almost by rote, "One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister."

 

"Is she ready?"

 

Talina looked at Nanna, the woman was nervous, but was attempting to keep her face smooth, "She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

 

"Does she know her fears?"

"She has never faced them, but now is willing."

 

"Then let her face what she fears."

 

With the completion of the ancient words Talina turned to Nanna, "Nanna, you must complete your Testing clad only in the Light. You may leave your things here," Talina indicated a small table by the wall and then continued, "they will still be here, when you return."

 

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Salidar Novices

[Grimmlocke]

Nanna paused, amazed at the quick, almost easy way the Sisters handled formality. Then the meaning of Talina's words hit home. Clad only in the Light? Her eyes widened incredulously. Her? No one wanted to see her without so much of a stitch of clothing on! Even she didn't want to see herself in the nude! Still, if that's what she was supposed to do...

 

She shucked off her Novice dress, tossing it in a loose pile on the table. Her socks and underclothes quickly followed. Nanna shivered, more at the idea of being without clothes than the rooms temperature. Was she really about to attempt this? She looked at the Arches again and narrowed her eyes, forcing her body to relax. Yes, she was. If she had to do it without clothing, well, it would simply make a better story. If she was allowed to tell anyone about what happened here. Aes Sedai loved their secrets, after all.

 

She took a couple of deep breaths, forming the Sunflower without actually Embracing the Source. It was simply comforting to know that it was there. Then she looked over at Talina and nodded. Time to get on with it. Whatever fears lay inside the Arches, she was going to beat them. The formal sounding-words were right. She was ready.

[Amadine]

Talina watched as Nanna's eyes almost seemed to pop out of her head at the mention of being clad in the Light. It was a common reaction. Nanna overcame her inner struggle with the notion and quickly she removed her clothing. When Nanna stood shivering before her Talina took her gently by the elbow and lead her to where the first arch was shining softly.

 

Talina looked at the woman standing beside her and said "The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." As Talina watched Nanna took a hesitant step forward, and then another, then she was gone. Talina closed her eyes and prayed, *The Light keep you whole and bring you back Nanna Tarquin*.

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Salidar Novices

[Grimmlocke]

There as a moment of disorientation as she stepped through the light. She seemed to become part of it, or it became part of her. The moment passed, and she was herself again.

 

“Nanna! Nanna Tarquin! Where under the Light are you, you cruel, heartless harridan of a woman!”

 

She looked up from the cookie dough she was flattening with her rolling pin. She looked down at the two young children, a boy and girl, situated on either side of her, each holding a cookie cutter shaped like a lion's head and a rose. “Sounds like your grandfather is looking for me.” She reached out to ruffle the boy's hair, then paused in mid-motion. With a regretful glance at her flour covered hands she instead wiped them on her apron and gestured to one of the undercooks to help the children with the cookies. “Don't let them eat too much of that dough. We're having dinner in a few hours.”

 

She didn't see the woman rolling her eyes at her retreating back, but she didn't need to. “If you don't want to help the children, you can help the boys muck out the stables.” She heard the surprised gasp from behind her and grinned in satisfaction.

 

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

 

Nanna paused, looking for the voice that had spoken. She didn't see anyone, but that didn't mean anything. Her boys had taken after their father, which meant they loved to play mean tricks on their mother.

 

Sam bellowed for her again from the Common Room, jerking her from her thoughts. “I'm coming, you brainless, drunken, foul-mouthed son of a goat!” She stepped through the hallway and into the room, viewing with satisfaction that it was full to the brim with travelers, ready to spend their coin on whatever Nanna cooked and Sam poured. “And why all the shouting? Do you mean to waken every soul trying to sleep in our beds?” She didn't mention that her voice was just as loud, but she didn't need to. Sam had long since stopped trying to use logic to win arguments with her.

 

She walked around the bar and stood next to him, draping an arm around his shoulder. He responded by wrapping one around her waist. “You've got a little extra meat on you these days, old woman.” He muttered, smiling at her around a lit pipe.

 

Nanna grinned good-naturedly and rubbed his own widening stomach. “Well, it would hardly be fair for me to let you win, old man.” She reached out to take a glass of brandy from his hand and knocked it back. “Besides, I happen to remember someone saying he had a fondness for women with something extra.”

 

He blinked, surprised she had remembered. “That I did, Dearest. That I did.” He took a long pull from his pipe and exhaled, sweet-smelling smoke curling up around his salt and pepper hair in a cloud of writhing gray tendrils. “So when is Moura coming to pick up Piter and Annora? I've half a mind to clear a room for a little fun with a certain woman with a little something extra.” He grinned again and waggled his thick eyebrows outrageously at her.

 

She laughed, and her rubbing hand pulled back and slapped back onto his belly with all the force she could muster. He grunted, a smaller cloud of smoke escaping his mouth as he did so. “That was for being a dirty old man.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before whispering in his ear. “And that was for being my dirty old man.” She stepped back and turned to walk away. “Besides, I don't think you would survive another night, old man. Your heart isn't what it used to be!” She shouted the last bit over her shoulder as she stepped out the door, out into the street.

 

She grinned at the sounds of derision coming through the door behind her. She could imagine Sam just slowly shaking his head and pouring himself another glass of brandy to replace what she had taken. Up ahead, she saw the small market district, where men and women were drifting between stalls manned by hawkers displaying their wares. The truth was, she didn't know when her youngest daughter was coming to pick up her children. She had been spending more and more time with Audric, the man she had decided to marry a few years back.

 

“Mother!” She turned around to see a young, well-dressed woman walking up to her. “Mother, how have you been?” She opened her arms and hugged Nanna, who gave a little smile and wrapped the young woman in her own arms before taking hold of her and pushing her back to give her an appraising look. “I don't know why you always say that, Moura. I just saw you yesterday. I'm doing the same today as I was doing then.”

 

The way back will come but once.

 

Yesterday? She had been somewhere else yesterday, hadn't she? A flash of memory flitted through her mind like a half-remembered dream. Girls in white dresses, a gleaming Tower, something...something else. She frowned, trying to recall what had happened.

 

“Mother? Are you all right?” Moura's face, like her voice, was concerned.

 

“Oh, of course, girl. I'm fine. Unlike your children! What are you feeding them? Or should I say, what aren't you feeding them? Why, Piter's skinny enough to hide behind my broom!” She continued to badger her daughter as she ushered her into the inn and into the back room, where the children were still making cookies under the watchful eye of a more contrite undercook.

 

Moura's face took on an uncharacteristically hard appearance. “Mother, they're fine. And how I feed my children is no business of yours!”

 

Nanna was surprised, her mouth working noiselessly for a moment before anything came out. “No business of mine? No business of mine?! Now you listen to me, you arrogant little chit! I was raising children before you were even born! And I should know, I carried you! The welfare of my grandchildren is every bit my business, and furthermore...”

 

The children in question just gave a pair of tired sighs and grabbed a few handfuls of cookie dough and walked out to the Common Room, followed closely by the undercook. All the other cooks in the kitchen rolled their eyes and continued their work. The mother and daughters always fought. Always.

 

Be steadfast.

 

Nanna was slowly gaining the upper hand when the voice spoke again. This time though, they were accompanied by glowing silver arch that appeared behind her daughters reddening face. Now? Not now! She had to put the girl in her place! But the voice and the arch were not to be denied. She stopped in mid-sentence and walked towards the arch.

 

“Mother? Mother! Don't you walk away from me! We're not done yet!” Right before she stepped through the arch, Nanna felt Moura's hand grab at her dress to give her a shove. Then she was through the arch, back in the Tower. She stumbled and fell to her knees, her head reeling. She leaped to her feet with a speed belying her age, her arm hauled back to give her rebellious daughter a slap in the face. Shove her, would she? But she wasn't there. She looked around, at the room, at the Aes Sedai, and realized where she was. “I'm...back?”

 

Then someone dumped water on her head. She shivered and turned around, glaring.

[Amadine]

Talina exhaled and smoothed her face as Nanna appeared from the first arch. The woman looked mad enough to bite nails and then she realised where she was... "I'm back?"

 

Firelle lifted the first chalice from the table and took the single step to stand by Nanna, puring the water contained in the chalice over Nanna's head she intoned, "You are washed clean of what sin you may have done and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."

 

Talina stepped over the Nanna's side and took her elbow and led her around the arch to stand before the second arch. She turned to face the other woman and said "The second arch is for what is. The way will come but once. Be steadfast."

 

Nanna hesitated for a millisecond before nodding and stepping forward to be engulfed by the soft light of the arch.

 

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Salidar Novices

[Grimmlocke]

Wondering what kind of foolishness would be awaiting her through the next Arch, Nanna allowed herself to be guided into it's light. Once again, it consumed her, or she consumed it. Then she was herself again.

 

“Hold him! Don't let him get away! Accepted, stop him!” Nanna blinked, getting her bearings. A young man was charging her, his slight form and dark hair making him Cairhienin, if she remembered her lessons. Instinctively, she channeled, wrapping the boy in flows of Air to keep him from running into her. He gave a squawk of surprise and fell to the ground, writhing against the invisible bonds. Behind him, a trio of Sisters, all wearing red-fringed shawls, ran towards her, all filled to brimming with the power. The one in the middle was so bright she had to have been using an Angreal. She took a look at the boy on the ground, then back to Nanna.

 

“Don't just stand there, girl! Shield him!” Nanna found herself preparing the weave for a Shield before she could even think about what she was doing. Shield him? Was the boy a channeler then? One of those fool men who thought they had the right to touch the One Power? She quickly slammed the Shield into place between the boy and the True Source. Well, she tried to. To her surprise the Shield encountered strong resistance, strong enough to cause it almost bounce back, away from the youth. She stumbled back a few steps as he snapped her bonds of air and stood, slowly, looking carefully between each of the Sisters and Nanna.

 

Without a word the Sisters linked, the glow of Saidar flowing from two into the one holding the Angreal. Nanna could see them weaving another Shield, this one strong enough to do the job Nanna had been unable to do herself. The boy seemed to know what was coming though, and pointed at the Sisters, sending a bar of white-hot fire at them. The two sisters to either side of the one with the Angreal leaped to the side, rolling to their feet. The middle one was not so lucky, though. The bar of fire hit her, and she simply ceased to be. The other two Sisters grimaced and wove lightning. One, Rena Hannin, wove something of water that caused a bubble to appear around the man's head. He stopped channeling almost immediately, clawing at the water around his head as he slowly drowned.

 

Eventually, Rena let the water fall back to the earth. As the two sisters checked the man, Nanna tried to remember how she had gotten there. Suddenly, it came to her. The now-dead Sister, Pura al'Tannin had invited her to join them in the field. She had been trying to get Nanna to choose the Red Ajah, instead of the Yellow for months. Now she was dead.

 

Rena toed the body. “Who would have thought one of these would have rediscovered Balefire?” The other Sister simply shook her head, her face grim.

 

“The Light knows how hard this will be to explain to...” She looked over at Nanna. “Well, you know.”

 

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

 

Nanna shook her head, trying to clear the strange voice that echoed in her skull, unbidden.

 

Suddenly the boy convulsed and spat up water, vomiting into the ground as he tried to get his legs under him. Rena was the first to recover from her shock and kicked the young man in the ribs, then kicking him again in the head, forcing him to roll over onto his back. She set her foot on the boy's chest and looked him straight in the eyes.

 

“You've killed an Aes Sedai. Congratulations. Now we'll do the same to you, if only to make sure the rest of those animals in Andor don't learn what you know. The Amnesty will do you no good, boy.” She channeled, lightning dancing along her fingertips as she reached down towards the young man's face.

 

“Wait!” Nanna surprised herself. The boy didn't look a think like her children, but something about him, the way he held himself, the way he was looking up at he Aes Sedai preparing to kill him, pulled at her.

 

The Aes Sedai was just as surprised. “What is it, Accepted?” She managed to spit out Nanna's title. Then, her frown turned into a grin. “Would you like to do it? You saw what he did to Pura. Maybe you'd like to get a little revenge of your own?”

 

Nanna slowly shook her head. “I was just going to suggest we take him to Tar Valon. For Gentling.”

 

Rena tossed her head back in irritation. “We can't take every man we find to Tar Valon, Nanna. Besides, he's killed an Aes Sedai, and he knows Balefire. He's too dangerous to leave alive. What if we're attacked by more of these creatures on the way back to the White Tower?” She gestured to indicate the young man. “No, we need to kill him. Now, do you want to do it? Or should I? Be assured I would do it slowly. If you're harboring some kind of...feeling for him, perhaps you'd like to end it more quickly?”

 

Nanna looked at the boy again, then back to Rena. She had seen her work before. Yes, she certainly would not be kind to the young man. At least she could end it quickly. She walked over to where Rena was standing on the young man to make sure he wouldn't try to get away. Rena stepped back as Nanna drew closer. She watched Nanna as though weighing her.

 

Nanna looked down at the young man. He looked back, his eyes wide with fear. “Please...don't do this.” He whispered. Ignoring the pain in her chest, the lump that tried to form in her throat, Nanna embraced the One Power.

 

The way back will come but once.

 

She looked around, trying to figure out who had spoken. Rena mistook her hesitation for something else. “Don't worry, Nanna, there's no one else here but us. Vanine would be able to sense any more men in the area if there were any.” She gestured to the other Aes Sedai, who was watching Nanna, silently. “Now, do you wish to continue?” The words threw Nanna for another loop. Where had she heard them before? “Nanna?”

 

Shaking her head again, Nanna looked back down to the boy. “I'm sorry. If only you hadn't killed her.” The resignation in her own voice shocked Nanna even more than what she was about to do. The lighting bolt that flew from her hand into the boy's body made him convulse one last time before he finally died. Nanna simply looked down at the body, shock and horror making her numb.

 

“Well done, Nanna. It seems Pura was right about you. She always had a good eye. You're not the smartest girl in the Tower, but you have the right heart for the Red.” She grinned, almost smugly, at Nanna. “Thank you, by the way. I couldn't have done it, as much as I want to. The Three Oaths, you know.” She laughed then, a harsh, mocking laugh that seemed to drive the Light of out Nanna's life with each successive peal. She had murdered a boy...for nothing?

 

Be steadfast.

 

The arch that appeared in the distance was a more welcome sight. She wasn't sure what it was, but if knew if she got through it, it would erase this, make it go away. She started to walk towards it, but Rena gently gripped her arm, her face suddenly kind. “I know it's hard the first time, Nanna. When we get back to Tar Valon, we'll have you measured for a nice red dress. Something in silk, perhaps? It will be ready by the time you take your Oaths.”

 

In response, Nanna reared her head back and smashed it down into Rena's face. She could feel the woman's nose crumple under the blow, and she fell to the ground with a shocked cry of pain. Nanna kneed Vanine, who was examining the boy's body, in the nose as she ran past her. Behind her, she could hear Rena shouting in inarticulate rage, not all that different from the anger that surged through Nanna. Except Nanna's was directed inwards, at herself.

 

She heard and felt the ground erupt with fire as she jumped into the Arch.

 

 

 

She hit the ground and rolled, once more in the Tower. The tears came almost immediately, wrenched from her in loud sobs. The site of the red shawled Sisters brought the anger back. “Murderers.” It was all she could think to say behind the blind rage that tried to well up, tried to make her Embrace the One Power and do to them what she had done to one, helpless boy. Then what she had done crushed her, forced the tears again, and erased anything but grief and horror. “For nothing...it was all for nothing...” She said, her abnormally high, almost hysterical voice eventually died away, falling back into sobs. The water streaming over her head shocked her back to herself, forcing a sharp intake of breath. She stood on shaking legs and stared defiantly at the Red Sisters, daring them to punish her. She wasn't all too sure that she had been shouting at them, anyway. More likely it had been herself she was angry with.

 

“Once more...just once more...” She muttered to herself as she allowed herself to be guided to the next Arch.

[Amadine]

Nanna stumbled and almost fell as she emerged from second arch. The woman had tears streaming from her eyes, her face was a mixture of pain and anger. Talina's heart softened a little, sometimes the arches were cruel. "Murderers!" the woman spat and glared at the Red Sister in the chamber. Talina frowned as she wondered what Nanna had seen within the arch.

 

Firelle lifted the second chalice and poured water over Nanna's head, "You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul."

As the water splashed about Nanna's shoulder her temper tried to flare but she managed to damp it down. Again Talina took her elbow, "Come Nanna, just one more." she encouraged, the woman was muttering angrily, but it was too low for Talina to hear the words she spoke.

 

Standing before the third arch Talina again spoke the ancient words, "The third time is for what will be. Be steadfast for the way back will come but once."

 

Nanna stalked forward, still angry from whatever she had experienced in the second arch, she stepped into the light and was gone. And Talina prayed.

 

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Novices

[Grimmlocke]

Nanna stepped through the Arches one more time, and once again found herself suffused with the light inside them. One last time, she was, for a moment, two people. Then she was herself again.

 

“Nanna Sedai?”

 

Nanna opened her eyes, and saw herself. Well, almost herself. The eyes were the same, and the face was close enough for her to recognize. It was smoother, at once younger and older than she remembered in being. In moments, she knew it for what it was. She had seen enough Aes Sedai who had slowed to recognize it, after all. The snow-white hair was unexpected, though.

 

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

 

With a groan, Nanna stretched and turned around to look at the Novice in front of her. “Yes, child?” She asked, still sifting through her memories. She knew she was old enough not to need to worry about memory problems. Those had come years ago. How long had it been since she first gained the Shawl? A century? Two? Thinking about it reminded her of it, and she strode to tall rocking chair. She pulled her Shawl off the chair's tall back and draped it around her shoulders. She smiled at it's yellow fringe as though I were an old friend. Which, she supposed, it was.

 

“The Hall is convening, Aes Sedai. The Amrylin has excused you from attending, but only if you feel you cannot make your choice objectively.” The Novice looked nervous as she spoke, and with good reason. Over the years, Nanna's tongue had become legendary in the Tower. People who spoke harshly, or with good sense, as Nanna usually saw it, were said to have a Tarquin's Tongue.

 

“Thank you. Now off with you, girl! I'm sure you have better things to do than watch me walk the Halls.” She watched girl carefully waiting for a reaction.

 

The girl was smarter than most, curtsying and scurrying from the room. Apparently word was spreading of the tasks Nanna set for those who couldn't find anything better to do than pester her. Eventually, she would be left alone entirely. Hopefully.

 

Nanna left her quarters and made her way to the wide, dome-roofed room that had held the Hall of the Tower since The Breaking. She settled down with the rest of the Sitters, racking her brain to try and remember why the Amrylin would want to give her the option of not attending this particular session. She remembered it wasn't a scheduled one, but couldn't seem to remember why.

 

Then the prisoner was brought out. A woman, bound in chains and Shielded by no less than three Sisters of varying Ajahs. Soldiers also accompanied them, though they seemed relaxed, as though sure the Aes Sedai would protect them from whatever the woman they were escorting could do.

 

The brought her to the center of the Hall and left her there, though the Sisters maintained the Shield stayed near enough to perform their function. The woman straightened and looked around, tossing a full head of gray-flecked hair. Even from her seat, Nanna immediately recognized the haunted, fearful face of her youngest daughter, Moura. Why was she here? How was she still alive?

 

The Keeper stepped forward, holding a parchment.

 

“Moura Tarquin, you stand accused of Channeling after being put out of the Tower. You also stand accused of aiding a Trolloc Fist in combat. How do you plead?” She looked down her nose at the woman in the center of the room with thinly veiled contempt.

 

Moura looked back and forth at the faces around the room. “I am...I am guilty.” The voice was small and broken, the voice of a beaten child coming from a woman's body. The admission shocked Nanna to the core. Her daughter, a Darkfriend?

 

Even the Keeper seemed to have not been expecting this. She blinked and looked back down at the parchment. “Guilty? Do you have anything to offer in your defense?” Her eyes narrowed and her voice hardened. “Or are you so deep in the Shadow that you actually enjoy the company of Trollocs to your fellow men and women?”

 

 

“No, it's not like that! They made me help them! They came for me in the night, Myrdraal and Trollocs, and they burnt my home to the ground! Then they took me away and...and they did things to me!”

 

The Keeper began to look down at Moura again. This was more what she had expected. “What things did they do to you to make you Forsake the Light, Moura Tarquin?”

 

“I don't remember! They used the Power, that much I know! Thirteen men and women, they changed me! Please believe me, I don't know any more, I swear it!”

 

The Keeper simply nodded, obviously unbelieving. She looked back at the Amrylin, who nodded and stood. “I have called this Hall to hear the testimony of this...woman and to hear her crimes. I now ask the Hall to pass judgment. The customary penalty for this crime is Stilling and execution. If it pleases the Light, let this instance be no different.” She turned and walked back to her seat before taking it again.

 

Nanna was too stunned to take much note of the various arguments of the other Sitters. As the words for or against her daughter flew, all Nanna could do was look at ther daughter's face. After two hundred years of channeling the One Power, her daughter was still alive, and barely seemed to have aged at all. Her face didn't even have the same ageless look as her own. How had this happened?

 

Then they voted, Nanna writing her own down and passing it down to be counted. She voted against Stilling and execution, of course. She could no more do that to her daughter than she could tear off her own foot. A mother's love was not that easily forgotten.

 

The waiting seemed to go forever while they waited for the votes to be counted.

 

The way back will come but once.

 

Nanna shook her head. The woman leaned next to her leaned over and whispered in her ear. “I know it's hard for you, Nanna. If there's anything we can do for you, just ask.” Nanna nodded and continued to stare down at her child.

 

“The votes have been counted!” The Keeper's voice rang out, strong and triumphant. Nanna knew that could only mean one thing. She felt someone gripping her hand as the verdict was read. She hung her head in sorrow as they words were spoken.

 

“Moura Tarquin. You are to be taken to the Traitor's Court at dawn, where you will be Stilled and executed.”

 

Moura's moan echoed throughout the silent chamber. She sank to her knees, already seeming to accept her own impending death. The sight of seeing her own daughter sitting there, so destroyed, brought Nanna to her feet. The entire Hall caught the motion, and every eye turned to look at her.

 

“Do you have something to add, Daughter?” The Amrylin's voice was quiet, yet the flows of Air she wove directed the sound to every corner of the room. “Seeing as how the accused is your daughter, I will let you make any arguments you may have, and then ask the Hall to recast their votes.

 

Nanna blinked, shock at the amount of courtesy shown her by the Amrylin. “Thank you, Mother. I just wanted to say that-”

 

Be steadfast.

 

The silver arch formed next to her daughter this time. Nanna would have to make her way down the rows of chairs of the Hall just to get to it. She looked back around the Hall, at all the faces waiting for her to speak. She looked down at her daughter, her face just now beginning to shine with renewed hope.

 

“Just wanted to say that my daughter would not do the things she has been accused of. She's always been a good person, always walked in the Light. I cannot believe that she would choose the sort of life for herself that she is supposed to have. I have worn this shawl too long to accept anything at face value, and that includes these charges. Where did this information come from? Whose informants brought us this information? How was she captured? Did she resist?”

 

Be steadfast.

 

That voice again!

 

“No! I will not leave now! I will not let them kill my daughter!”

 

“You are not in any position to 'let' us do anything, Daughter. Have you taken leave of your senses, or are your years finally starting to catch up with you? The information was there for the last three weeks for anyone to look at. Are you telling us that you, the accused's own mother didn't look at the information pertaining to her capture and trial?”

 

Nanna stepped around her chair, moving behind the Sitters around her. She walked down towards the center of the room, to where the arch and her daughter waited. “I was not made aware of any of this, Mother. Can you imagine why that was? Perhaps it was because I was the accused's mother? Perhaps because someone knew I would make a fuss?

 

“Be very careful about what you choose to say next, Nanna Tarquin. Those kind of insinuations could prove to be just as treasonous as what your daughter has done.”

 

She walked right by her daughter, right by the Amrylin. She stopped just short of the Arch, turning around to face the Hall.

 

“I will make you, all of you, pay for this.”

 

 

The Amrylin sighed. “I've had enough of this. Sisters, please take Nanna to her quarters and give her something to sleep. It's high time she be retired.”

 

“Mother, please, help me!”

 

Her daughter's plea was the last thing Nanna heard before she stepped backwards into the light of the arch. This time, she almost welcomed the momentary oblivion that accompanied the transition back into the world. This betrayal was the one that hurt her the most. She should have stayed, should have forced them to see what she already knew. That the Amrylin was a farce, that she was the puppet of a shadow cabal of Sisters with some ulterior motives. She wasn't sure what those motives were, but she somehow knew they were there, pulling the strings of the Tower.

 

 

 

Once again she stumbled out of the Arch, If there had been any tears left in her, she would have cried again. Instead, she stood in a numb sort of stupor, waiting for the water to be poured on her again. In the vaulted recesses of her mind, her own voice swore revenge over and over again, but for now, she just wanted to sleep, to forget what had just happened, what had just been done to her.

 

“Done.” The sound of her voice should have been triumphant, but word rang dead and hollow in her ears. She had been successful, but the success was had been so bitter she almost wished she had taken that first offer to wait. Had she known what she would have to go through then, she might well have simply stayed at home, no matter what the Aes Sedai said.

[Amadine]

Nanna emerged fron the final arch and inwardly Talina thanked the Light. Everytime one of her Novices entered the Arches she waited with bated breath for the child to emerge from the third arch. Nanna's face was blank, she appeared numb. There was no outburst this time. Talina guided Nanna to where the Amrylin Seat waited, gently prodding Nanna, the woman knealt before the Flame of Tar Valon.

 

The Amyrlin lifted the final chalice and poured the water over Nanna's head, "You are washed clean of Nanna Tarquin of Four Kings in Andor. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean in heart and soul. You are Nanna Tarquin, Accepted of the White Tower."

 

“You are sealed to us, now. Welcome, daughter,” The Amyrlin passed the chalice back the the Grey Sister and from within the folds of her dress she took a golden Great Serpent ring, placing it on the third finger of Nanna's left hand she helped the woman up and said warmly “Welcome, Daughter”, the Amyrlin kissed both Nanna's cheeks, “Welcome.”

 

Talina Odile Bolaine

Mistress of Salidar Novices

 

 

[Grimmlocke]

Nanna looked at the ring on her finger, no expression on her face. This was what she had gone through all of this for? A ring? All this suffering, all this pain, for a simple golden ring? She fought down the urge to rip the ring off her finger and throw it against the wall. She certainly hadn't gone through that just to be demoted back down to Novice for spitting on their "gift".

 

"Thank you, Mother." The words were rough, yet soft. It felt like she was talking through a mouth full of cotton. "If I may, Mother, I would like to go to sleep now." It wasn't what she wanted to say. If she did that, she would be screaming until her voice was gone and her mouth stopped working. No, what she wanted to do now was sleep. Then, she would probably find someplace where she could cry alone. Then more sleep.

 

She turned to find Talina watching her. She nodded at the other woman and dressed herself. "May I go to bed now, Aes Sedai?" A sullen tone was the best she could manage after her night. "I'm sure I have classes or some other such thing in the morning."

 

All this, and it was for a bloody ring and a new dress!