Kathleen swallowed her mouth full and careful began to speak in a clear, calm voice. She tried to keep her tone steady and not sound stuck up or rigid, she wanted light conversation not debate, but she didn't think there was anyway around debate with the topic they had chosen to discuss, at least it would hopefully be pleasant debate. "I don't know if we will ever truly understand why everyone does what they do, but I don't think that is something strict to the Tower. If we were out in the world we can never know why others do what they do. Some people just think differently. I see what you are saying about some ajahs having more use of the One Power, like the Greens who use it in battle, but even they are restricted to using it only in self defense if it is meant to harm someone. That doesn't really give much benefit to the rest of the battle plan. That part comes of using there head and the knowledge they gain here.

Yes we can all touch the Source, but there is more to being Aes Sedai than just using the Power, otherwise we would just band together long enough to learn how to handle ourselves so it wont kill us, then we would be off on our own to live our lives as we please and have nothing to do with each other. When we come to the Tower we learn so much more than just how to manipulate the elements we are taught of histories around the world, we are taught how politics work, we are taught better than anyone else in the world in many more subjects than most ever see. We are taught how to serve the world and how to help run it.

As Aes Sedai we aren't just a bunch of people who can lift objects with air, we are people with the knowledge of how to make things better when there seems to be no other way. We are people who can solve problems other people can't. We advice kings and queens on the best way to protect there people and run there countries. That takes more than just using the One Power, that takes using your brain. There are many different types of people, and many different ways of thinking, that is why there are so many Ajahs, each has their own way of thinking.

The purpose of Aes Sedai is to better the world as a whole and there are many different ways that people think is best to do that, and not all of them revolve around the One Power. Knowledge can be just as convincing and powerful as Healing a sick person with the power, making the right move in a tough situation can be just as important, and it takes proper consideration of all possible outcomes." When Kathleen finished she casually took a sip of her water and waited for the comments to fly.

As Kathleen got to the row of shelves she was surprised to find the Aes Sedai had followed her and just as she thought she was going to be told to go see the Mistress of Novices she was glad to hear the woman say that she would help. Kathleen told the Aes Sedai who had sent her and was relieved to feel the weight of the top books removed. Finally she could see again!

She took in what she could of the Sister as she turned the corner to put the books she had away. Surely she wants to me to come to the table later so she can give me my punishment. What is the punishment for physically harming an Aes Sedai? I know it was a book, not a real weapon, but still I wonder how bad it could be? She's probably over there thinking up something suitable enough for me to tell Pia Sedai right now! Though, she did come over to help me, perhaps it was so I would be done sooner and could get my punishment sooner, but she seemed to nice for that to be the case. Perhaps she will just scold me on her own and send me on my way? Perhaps I can get a better look at those books she had been reading, they seemed interesting. A little dark maybe, but the world isn't always a bright place. I know there are evils in the world, I just never thought I would have a chance to get to know them from a book. Yes, when I am done here I will I'll go back to the table and hopefully get a chance to glimpse the titles..and hopefully I'll remember them by the time I get back from my visit with the Mistress of Novices.

When she finished that thought she realized that she was also putting the last book she had away and smiled. It was nice to finally have her arms free again. She hadn't noticed them aching when she carried the books but she could feel the dull pain of relief now. The smile slipped when she remembered where she was going and headed back toward the table. You have already apologized, so don't blabber on. She called you there for a reason and surely it wasn't to hear you fumble around any more. Be quite and hear what she says, don't argue. Who knows, maybe she just wants to get to know you..ha yeah right, an Aes Sedai wants to chat and get to know an Accepted! They teach us, they have us do things they don't want to do themselves and that's about all. There will be plenty of time to get to know us when we are Aes Sedai to and before that why bother, we may be out of the Tower. At least that is how they come across. Oh, I hope she's back at the table before me, I don't want her to have had more work to do putting my books away!

Kathleen let the thoughts quite before she got to the table and relaxed as she saw the Blue waiting for her. When she got up beside the Sister Kathleen curtsied deeply again. "I am sorry I took so long returning, but you summoned me and I came." She stood in straight posture and tried to sneak a look out of the corner of her eye at the books on the way down into the curtsy, but didn't get a very good view. When she stood again she stood straight up and waited patiently for a reply.

Kathleen had spent the majority of the day running errands for one person or another. It wasn't very late and she was already beginning to get tired when she finally had free time to get back to her room to study. She was walking through main part of the Tower when a young girl entered, starry eyed and smiling. Kathleen sighed as she realized she was the only one around to help the girl and she approached her. "Hello, are you looking for someone? How can I help you?"

The girl smiled and said she was here to become an Aes Sedai and asked where she signed up. Kathleen just smiled at the innocence and showed her to the Mistress of Novice's study. On the way Kathleen explained a little of the process to 'signing up' for the girl so she wouldn't embarrass herself too much. She left the girl when Pia called her into the room and Kathleen made her way back through the halls to the main part of the Tower to get back to her room.

She was hoping she wouldn't be stopped and given some more useless work like she had earlier in the day when she foolishly left the breakfast hall with no plan of where to go and someone thought she didn't look busy enough! She walked briskly like she was on her way somewhere, and wished she had a book or a parcel so it looked like she was running an errand so no one would stop her and she could finally sit, but almost as though someone were reading her thoughts she heard someone call her name from behind her. She was shocked to hear her name, it was usually "you there" or "Accepted", most people didn't call her by her name even still and when she did she froze. Kathleen turned around as the Aes Sedai said "Come with me, I have an errand for you" and Kathleen's heart sank, so much for sitting, she thought. 

She was surprised how quickly the Aes Sedai turned and walked down the hall, Kathleen gave a little trot to catch up. As she followed the Aes Sedai she started to wonder what the errand could be. It must be something urgent or she wouldn't rush so. Or maybe she just rushed like that a lot. Kathleen had noticed that some Aes Sedai strole slowly through the halls and others always seems to be rushing. She couldn't help but think that the ones who rush so much just do it because of the years of rushing as a Novice and Accepted they just don't notice. But this seemed different. As she walked through the hall she couldn't help but take in the Aes Sedai she was following, most girls with hair that shade of red would not think to wear so much blue, but on her, with her skin tone, it had a very pleasing look.

When they got to the Aes Sedai's rooms Kathleen was relieved to be offered a seat while she waited. When she was told that the Aes Sedai would have to write the letter's up before Kathleen could send them she knew it was important news, and very fresh otherwise the letters would have been written before a messenger was found. She didn't want to seem like she was overstepping but as Accepted she had taken notes for lot of Aes Sedai and penned a lot of letters, she felt like it was proper ettiquite to ask so when Kathleen saw the pens come out she asked. "Excuse me, Tayva Sedai, if you would like me write that for you I have been told I have very good script. I don't want to intrude though and if it is a private matter I won't tell a sole if you do want me to write it, but if you prefer to do it yourself I understand. I just thought I would offer my help to make things easier for you." Some how spending so much time around Aes Sedai had not made her any more calm around them, or made it any easier to talk to them. She wished she wasn't so awkward.

As she waited for the White's reply she began to look around the room. The more she looked the more she noticed some of the oddest collection she had seen. It all seemed so...unWhite...but it all seemed to fit in an odd sort of way, which was odd in itself for a White.

Kathleen was a little shocked at the way the discussion seemed to be turning fierce so quickly, but people with opinions could be hard to keep civil when they came across others with opposing opinions. She tried to see where the opposition was, all she saw was some who didn't know an answer and one who thought she did making a scene. Perhaps staying out of a group for so long was a good idea. But I do enjoy the discussion I just wish I had more to add. When Rochel channelled the ball of light Kathleen wanted to speak up about not having proper Aes Sedai supervision, but she decided to let it slide as everyone else seemed be. She couldn't see where the girls tension was coming from, but there was definitely tension. Perhaps it was something said before I arrived, she thought. She wished she could think of something say but she also didn't want poke her nose in and have it bitten, so she continued to eat her breakfast and listen to the discussion. She looked at the little left on her plate and tried to decide how to eat it strategically so she looked like she was just eating but also save enough for if she got put on the spot later.

I'm looking forward to it, thanks!

Yay! congrats on the double achievements!

Kathleen relaxed as the girls welcomed her and she sat down where Regalia had made space. She much more relaxed now, more now that she thought she had ever been in the Tower, and much more her old self. She listened to the girls as they caught her up on the topic they were discussing and she absently arranged the things on her tray as they had shifted when she sat.

She had given some thought to all of the Ajahs but she hadn't really thought of where she would aspire. She was so interested in all of them that she couldn't think of choosing right now. She listened to the description of what the others thought each Ajahs greater purpose was in the Last Battle and was a little shocked that they all had been stumped on the Whites.

"I am sure there is a purpose they serve with an eye to Tarmon Gaidin, but perhaps we would need to aspire to the White to understand?" Amadine had posed about the Whites and Kathleen responded, "Perhaps their purpose is to try to find out why Tarmon Gaidin happens, if there is a way to stop it in theory, what it would be and whether it would be worth doing. Would the concequences of trying something new or drastic end up more devestating then just letting it happen and dealing with the result of what comes. Should we do some sort of precaution taking early and would happen if we do, and what could we even do?" She wasn't really sure of the truth to her statement, but when she had thought about the point of the Ajahs on her own this was all she came up with, and she thought it was a very good idea. She smiled slightly and took a bite of her roll while waiting for the other's thoughts.

Where would they have to go, anything major happen in the delivery? I have an Accepted who could do it if that fits your idea.

Kathleen woke up early again, not as early as she had been for the last few weeks but early just the same. Ever since she was raised to the ring she had been waking earlier. She thought it was just that she wasn't used to sleeping in her new bed, but she had hoped it wouldn't have lasted as long as it was. Luckily it finally was starting to lift. She still awoke before she heard the others stir and she spent a good bit of time making her bed just so and arranging the few things she had in her room that seemed out of place, even though she had straighted them before he had gone to bed, as she did every night. Light, but this place is making me odd! She thought as she turned her Great Serpent Ring straight on her finger. She looked around her little room and decided to head to the Dinning Hall.

She knew it was still early but the first few would be there already, as long as she wasn't the first one there she had no concerns and she was getting hungry. She walked in and saw a group of Accepteds sitting at the same table. She recognized one of them as Regalia but the others all looked new to her. As she went to get her breakfast tray she thought about joining the girls.

As her thoughts filled her head, one over the other fighting to get her to go talk to the girls, then to sit on her own, then reminding her not to look rude and nerves telling her not to talk to them, and then switching to telling her not to go on her own, Kathleen finally got fed up with herself. I have been wishy washy so long now it is ridiculous! These girls are just girls! I don't need to impress them, I don't need to be intimidated by them! Perhaps they have been friends longer, but at least they are friends! Who do I have that I can is my friend? Cassie? Well Cassie isn't here, and I've been too concerned with how people see me to let anyone get to know me. I am tired of weighing every step I take, it doesn't get me anywhere but trouble anyhow. It's not as though things go smoothly for me when I fuss they way I do, I have no friends and I've been here over 10 years! When I ask them if I can sit with them, what is the worst they can say, "no"? And then I am right where I am now only I wont have my own thoughts on the matter to fight with. With that it was settled and her breakfast tray was filled. Kathleen made her way over to the table of girls. "Hello, do you have room for one more?" Kathleen asked casually.

Katandra looked around the hall and wondered what to do next. She knew there were only a few reasons why the Head Clerk wouldn't have given her directions to her destination. One, it was very simple to find on entering the hall. Two, he wanted her to use her wits to find it on her own as only the ones who truly wanted it, or were swift enough, would go the next step on their own. Three, he just didn't think of her point of view; since he already knew where it was he didn't bother to think that she didn't know her way around. Four, he really didn't care one way or another and had just wanted her out of the room.She had a feeling it was more the third of fourth choice but she wanted to believe that it was the second thought that had crossed her mind that was the motive of the man she just left.

As she let out a sigh she realized that she was making judgements on a man she didn't know at all and was determined to stop. It's not as though I have actually talked to him and gotten to know him, or as though anyone has given me a history on him. I have no information about him except that he has a desk and doorman and at least on one occasion in his life he has eaten an apple! What does it matter why he didn't give directions? I didn't ask, so why would he tell me? Katandra looked around at the hall and noticed a few people walking. Normally she would have tried to find the place on her own, but she didn't feel comfortable wandering the halls of the Fortress unsure of where she was going. This place would be home soon enough, but it wasn't home now.

She hoisted up her pants, pulled herself into proper posture, not that she had lost it, her mother had made sure that Katandra always carried herself like a lady even when she was young. "Excuse me?" She said to passing man but he rushed past her. Perhaps I wasn't loud enough to hear, or he didn't know I was calling for him. She noticed a boy just about her age if not a year or two older and she stepped up beside him as he was walking by.

"Excuse me, I am looking for the quartermaster, would you be able direct me there?" She flashed him a quick smile and he returned one of his own as he looked around the hall to get his bearings and then gave her precise directions. Katandra gave him a quick 'thank you' before he returned to his task and she started down the hall in the other direction following the young man's instructions. She was starting to question the route he had given her, but just as she was about to stop someone else to be sure she was going the right way she found the place she was looking for. She let out a breath and knocked on a door she found, right where the boy had said it would be.

Is it still ok to jump into?

Full Name: Kathleen Vandiar

Rank: Accepted (paperwork is filed)

Ajah: n/a

Last time RPed with character: June 20th 2010

http://forums.dragon...ic,59033.0.html

Talent: none

Warder Bonded: Nevul (something I forget, will come back with link to bio if i ever think of it - he's TTCP)

Asha'man Bonded: none

Kathleen was not the first one to arrive, but she was not the last. Just as she had intended it to be. She hated being drawn out and taken notice of. The first was always remembered as was the last. Not that she had any reason to want to be forgotten, she just didn't like attention and eyes on her. She was pleased to be sitting comfortably out of the way, but not so far that she stood out as a loner. From the out side she may have looked like she was trying too hard for this, but it came so naturally that except for choosing exactly the time to enter the room, there really wasn't any trying to it. She didn't think of it at all.

Just as she was getting comfortable with the room and the other Accepted in it Pia Sedia said it was time for introductions. At least she wasn't first! She sat quietly and listened to the introductions the others told with interest, but as they went on she couldn't help but notice Regalia had lost interest. When the person beside her finished her introduction Kathleen took a quick deep breath as the eyes in the room settled on her. She gave a quick glance at Regalia, who thankfully hadn't even looked up and Kathleen relaxed a little just knowing that not all the eyes were on her and she began her introduction.

"My name is Kathleen. I too would like to learn healing, my mother was very sick and I had wished I could have done more for her. I really wish that someday in the future I can do more to help someone who the others say can't be helped. I would like to learn as many weaves as I can, but I know we don't have time for that in one class. I would just really like to learn what I am capable of with the One Power. I don't really have much interest in the Game of Houses, but I am curious of a lot things." Kathleen would have went on, but she was starting to let the nerves of having the class' attention on her get to her and since she had answered what Pia had asked of her she let that be her last sentence. She folded her hands in her lap, met Pia Sedai's eyes then dropped her eyes to her hands to signal more clearly she was done.

(OOC: Sorry if I am not supposed to post here, I can delete this if you want me too, I just saw it was open and posted)

Kathleen had been sent to the library with a mountain of books to return. She was used to fetching books for the Aes Sedai, but this was her first time returning them. She had been offered a basket to carry them in when she was asked to take them, she had said no. At the time Kathleen had thought it would be much more of a burden to have to bring the basket all the way back up to the Aes Sedai's room but with the tower of books the Brown had given her to return, reaching over her head by a book, she really wished she had taken the basket. Though she didn't really know if it would have been much help. How did that Aes Sedai think one person was enough to carry all of these books at once?

Kathleen carefully balanced the books as she opened the door and came in to the library, she thought she knew her way well enough to put the books away on her own. She started over to a table to set them on so she could put them away a few at a time. As she got to the table she tripped over a leg of a chair that she didn't expect to be there and the books toppled out of her hands all over the table and floor. "Blood and A--Aes Sedai!" She gasped as she realized she had just dumped the books almost on top of the woman. Kathleen dropped into the deepest curtsy she could and her face turned bright red. "I am so sorry, Aes Sedai, I did not see you! I should have been looking...are you alright?" She fumbled with her words as she quickly tried to gather her books. Oh, I hope I didn't hit her with any books! How could I have been so careless? Why didn't I look to see that the path was clear? Kathleen kept fumbling apologies until she had scooped up most of the books. When her eyes fell on the books she hadn't brought she stopped short and almost reached for it out of curiosity but caught herself at the last moment and grabbed the last of the books she was meant to return.

Kathleen curtsied again and said, "I am so sorry for all the harm done, I will watch where I go more closely and I will be out of your way." She picked up her pile of books and started to walk toward the rows of shelves to put them away.

Katandra waited patiently for the Head Clerk's reply. When she heard him say that all she needed to tell him was her name and where she was from she was a little surprised, but glad she had held off on telling him her life story. Surely someone would ask it of her and when they did she would tell them all they needed to know. Needed being the important word there. Somethings were so unimportant they had no reason to be brought up.

"My name is Katandra Corma. I am eighteen years old. I was born in Andor and moved to Amadicia four years ago to be closer to my father's family." She knew the reason for moving to Amadicia was more of an answer than he had asked for, but she wanted him to know that she wasn't as loose minded as most Andorians and that her roots were in the teachings of Amadicia traditions. "Thank you for taking the time to see me. If we are done here I will be on my way to find the Quartermaster's study." She waited for the Head Clerk to nod in approval of the information and that she was free to go, and Katandra turned and left the room to find the Quartermaster.

Kathleen had seen the Amyrlin on occasion in her time as a Novice but this was the first time the Amyrlin had been this close to her and shown that she knew who Kathleen was. It was certainly the first time she spoke anything of importance directly to Kathleen and just not just in an assembly of the Tower.

When the Amyrlin turned to get the ring and Pia Sedai had stepped forward and broken ceremony Kathleen could sense the concern from the onlookers and Kathleen noticed the look the Amyrlin directed at the Mistress of Novices, but Kathleen's eyes lit up and shouldn't hold back a grin. She had remembered. It seemed so long ago, and truly it had been over a decade since Kathleen had entered the Tower in rags of a fine dress and tears down her cheeks to return the ring of a lost Aes Sedai. She didn't know what to expect that day. She had thought her journey was over when she walked into the Tower but it was only just beginning. She had returned her grandmother's ring, been tested and told by Pia Sedai that on the day she was raised to Accepted Pia would see that Kathleen could have that same ring back. Kathleen had almost forgotten what had taken her to the Tower many times and she was almost sure that Pia Sedai would have forgotten by now too, but when Kathleen saw the old wooden box she carried for two years in an old sack she filled with so much joy that she couldn't hold back the tears.

She was still beaming at Pia Sedai when she heard the Amyrlin say, “You are sealed to us, now. Welcome, daughter,” Kathleen looked at the Amyrlin as she took the Great Serpent ring from Pia Sedia and slipped it onto the third finger of Kathleen's left hand. “Welcome, Daughter” The Amyrlin said and then kissed one of Kathleen's cheeks and then the other cheek. “Welcome.”

When the ceremony was over Kathleen looked around to see if Pia Sedai was still there. She had pulled herself together, as a good Accepted should, and saw the Mistress of Novices standing by the door. Kathleen hurried over and threw her arms around Pia Sedai. She knew it wasn't the proper way for an Accepted to act in the presence of Aes Sedai, but she really didn't care if it was proper or not, in that moment all that mattered was that the woman who Kathleen had looked up for over a decade kept a promise she made that anyone else surely would have forgotten about. She needed to say thank you and to let her know how much it meant to her.

When the quick hug ended Kathleen took a step back and stood up into proper posture and said, "Thank you, Pia Sedia. It means the world to me and more to have this ring. It is the little bit of my family I can take with me. It will hold me true to my roots, but show me all that I can be, all that I will be! This ring symbolizes all that the Great Serpent ring symbolizes for all of us, but this was my grandmother's ring and because of that it symbolizes a great deal more to me. I cannot thank you enough for the gift you gave me tonight. I know that an Aes Sedai cannot lie, but I know that they can forget. I knew you're intentions were true when you said you would be here to give this to me now, but I wasn't sure you would remember. A lot has happened since that night. There are not words enough to thank you properly." Kathleen turned her ring around her finger and smiled.

We know that souls get reborn as the wheel turns, do they always get reborn into the same age, or can they be reborn into a different age. Obviously the Dragon will always be reborn in the last age, but is it always the same for other souls?

yay!!! I'm so happy for you!! *snuggles lotsandlotsandbunches*

Hello.

My character is Kathleen, and I've moved her along a lot faster than I was planning too. I just got a surge of creativity and went with it and it just flew me by. I thought I had her all figured out after I finished her bio, but as I started writing more she took on a life of her own. She also changed her thought process from when she was coming to the Tower to her stay there. She became very introverted. Not timid, just kept to herself, and worried about making a good impression, which was usually the cause of her not making one.

I think that through her arches she got in touch with who she was and saw a glimpse of what she wants to be so I think her outward personality may change again. The person she is at the core never changed, just her outward way of showing herself. (If that makes sense)Before she entered I would have thought Blue, Green, Yellow or Red... but from her time in the Tower she was setting up really well to be a Brown, very curious determined and spends a lot of time analyzing everything in her head.

Like I said since her Arches she may have changed...even I don't know for sure, so I'll have to wait and see when I RP next!

Thank you for telling us that there is a difference in Ammy and Leader here, since I've only dealt with Lavinya since I am a Novice (or an Accepted..as soon as I get my ring back!) I have always thought that the IC Ammy was the Div. Leader and the IC Keeper was the Ass. Div. Leader. If this isn't the case then what is the difference, what do the Div. Leaders do and what do the Ammy and Keeper do? If you have a problem who do you go to?

When the door opened Katandra nodded to the person who had opened it and slowly glided over to the desk where the man she guessed was the Head Clerk sat. She did not know what she was expecting the Head Clerk to look like or how he would hold himself but the more she took in of the mannerisms of the man with the apple on the other side of the desk the more she questioned if he fit that image. Things aren't always as they appear on the outside looking in,she reminded herself, somethings that look spectacular are often hiding the evil that dwells within. Yes, he looks like a real man with nothing to hide. Though she had learned the hard way that even things that look to be plain on the outside often had the most to hide. That is why she wanted to join the Children. To find the truth and stop letting people get away with hiding the evils of the world.

She really wished she knew what she was supposed to do in the Head Clerk's presence. Was she expected to bow? Or maybe salute? Or maybe nothing until she was accepted in. Just as she was wondering if he was going to make the first comment or if he was waiting for her to speak the man spoke.

Katandra had noticed him eying her, but she let it pass as he was just trying to read her, figure out why she is here and why she was dressed in these ridiculous pants. She was fairly certain there was more to the look than that, but she had been wrong about that a few times, and in this case she felt more comfortable thinking it wasn't anything more than the man trying to determine her purpose before she stated it.

Katandra looked him in the eye and said, "Hello Sir. My name is Katandra and I have come to ask to join the Children of Light." She didn't want to say too much, to pour her heart out just to be let down again, or to find that she was talking to the wrong man and have go through her reasoning all over again to another. She was not one for long spiels, make your point and make it short and quickly, no one wants to listen to one person ramble on and on. If they want more information they will ask. So Katandra held her tongue and waited for the man's reply.

Pia Sedia picked the girl up off the floor and the second chalice of water was dumped over her. Kathleen didn't even notice it this time and she was still in so much shock she just couldn't speak. The Brown Sister said "You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul." but Kathleen just stared at her. Pia noticed the look on Kathleen's face and told her that she could leave now if she wanted to but reminded her of the consequences. She put her hand on Kathleen's shoulder and said "you have only one more left, you are strong, I know you can do this." Kathleen nodded and the two moved on to the third Arch. When Kathleen was facing the Arch Pia Sedai said "the third time is for what will be. Be steadfast for the way back will come but once."

When Kathleen stepped through the glow of the Arch she found herself wearing a very lavish dress, the kind she never imagined herself wearing. Her hair was put up in a very detailed updo with crystals of blue and green through out. She looked down at her right hand and saw the Great Serpent ring on her pointer finger. She was sitting in a large chair with white velvet cushions in a large room with a cosy fire going. She didn't recognize the place but it felt like a palace. As she started to explore the room she saw reports on a desk with many different titles but before she could read them a young girl entered the room and said "Kathleen Sedai, I am sorry to bother you at this hour, but the King has requested I retrieve you." "The King? Why would the King want me?" Kathleen asked.

"Pardon me, Aes Sedai, but are you feeling alright? You are the King's advisor, I assume he would like some advice. I am just a serving girl, he doesn't tell me more than what to fetch and this time it was you." "Of course," Kathleen sighed, "I'm sorry child, I am just tired." "That is understandable, you haven't been getting as much sleep as a person should lately, I don't know how you do it!" "How I do what I do is for me to worry about, child, not you." Kathleen replied. Light, how do I do what I do?

As Kathleen wrapped a shawl around her arms and followed the girl through the halls she  began to think about all the things she had been doing as the Advisor to the King.  When she had first arrived the King had no organization and he had so many things going on. Kathleen loved the challenge of getting everything organized and pulled together. It was a real honour for her to have the position in the first place. Of course she was far from the Tower, but she was still doing the work of the Tower. And what better work was there than being out in the world and having a hand in making it a better place. She had never felt so proud or useful in her life. She was making important decisions and changing the world.

As she walked through the hall she heard be steadfast for the way back will come but once.When she got to the room where the King was waiting for her she was about to enter when she faintly heard it again in the back of her mind. The door across the hall began to shimmer and a white glow filled the frame. The girl knocked on the door to the King's waiting room and the King called for Kathleen to enter. Kathleen stared at the glowing door, turned to enter the King's lavish room and he bowed his head to her. A king bowed his head to her, this was the life! The glowing frame called to her, but so did the King and Kathleen did not want to leave. The king needs me and I want to help him.Reluctantly Kathleen turned from the King and stepped through the dimming frame. She stepped out of the Arch into the Tower basement with her head held high and was very surprised at what she saw.

As Kathleen stepped through the Arch back into the chamber in the Tower basement she let out a great sob and jumped when the Brown Sister took one of the chalices from the table and poured it over Kathleen's head. Somehow in her shock Kathleen managed to hear the woman say "You are washed clean of what sin you may have done and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."

"Father..." Kathleen began softly. "There there child," Pia said as he wrapped an arm around the girl and lead her to the next arch, "It's ok, you're father is fine, there are still two Arches to do." Pia made sure Kathleen was ready and standing in front of the second Arch she said, "The second arch is for what is. The way will come but once. Be steadfast."

When Kathleen opened her eyes she nearly screamed as she looked upon the stranger lying next to her on the blanket in the grass. With a start she tried to pull herself away but the man had an arm around her. She realized she was in a back corner of one of the Tower gardens and when she looked back up at the man he was smiling at her. "Are you ok, dear?" he asked, "I know you are probably nervous about what will come of this, but if no one finds out no one can punish us." Kathleen didn't have a clue what had happened or who this man was. She felt a strange feeling deep inside her that she had never felt before. Before she had a chance to find out what was going on the man wrapped his arms around her tighter and in the embrace Kathleen's memory was filled with wonderful times with this man.

She had become very close to him in her time as Accepted. She had to do a lot of sneaking around to see him as often as she did but she always managed to. Someday he would be her warder. She was so happy to be in his arms, she felt as though she could stay there forever!  The bush in front of the two began to rustle and an Aes Sedai came through and stopped in front of the pair. "What is the meaning of this? Child, what are you doing with this boy hiding behind the bushes? No, don't answer that question just yet, you can answer it when you get to the proper authority! How dare you...I thought you knew better than this!" The Aes Sedai hauled Kathleen up by the arm. "Don't think you can get away with this either boy, you're coming too, and I would say my goodbyes to each other now if I were you two. I doubt you'll see each other again for a long, long while...if you ever see each other again!"

All Kathleen could think about was getting free from the Aes Sedai and running to her warder, she really thought of him as her warder even though the bond wasn't set. The more she squirmed to get out the tighter the woman held on. As the grip got tighter Kathleen's arm began to ache and the man shouted at the Aes Sedai to let Kathleen go. The Aes Sedai smiled and said "If you hadn't taken advantage of the girl she wouldn't be in this situation. If Kathleen gets kicked out of the Tower or beaten until she's bleeding it will be all you're fault. And I wouldn't be surprised if your punishment wouldn't be to watch them whip her!" At that the man threw himself with all he had into the woman. "Fool!" the Aes Sedai yelled in surprise as she released Kathleen and fell backwards. "You will pay doubly for that!" The woman wove threads of air around the man. "Surely an attack on an Aes Sedai and whatever you were doing with that Accepted will be enough to set your death in motion!"

Kathleen was surprised that no one else had heard the commotion or had come out. They were further from the Tower than she thought they had been. As Kathleen tried to find a way to save the man she was swept up in the air as well. Then she hear the words from deep inside her again,the way will come but once. Be steadfast.She looked behind the Aes Sedai who was carrying her and saw the Arch open up. She didn't know what it was, but the words came again and she felt the need to run to it.

Kathleen started to panic she knew she had to get to the Arch and she knew she didn't have much time, but she couldn't move! She tried to twist and turn, but she was held so tightly by the bounds of air that she couldn't move. Just then she heard a voice softly say, "What on earth are you doing? Put those two down right now!" "Yes, Mother," came the reply, "but they need to be punished, and I would suggest the girl being removed from the Tower, and the boy deserves far worse." As she was responding the Aes Sedia released the two and as soon as Kathleen could she bolted for the Arch.

"Stop, Child!" called the Amyrilin, but the light was fading and even though part of her wanted to obey and part of her wanted to stay to help save the man she did not really know, she dove through the Arch and fell face first onto the floor of the Tower chamber she had left from.

As Kathleen stepped through the other side she was pleased see that clothes had returned. She was not wearing her Novice dress but her old yellow sun-dress that she used to wear around her house. She looked into the street and it all looked the same. Her neighbours were out in their yards hanging laundry to dry and the children were chasing each other through the street. No one seemed surprised to see her but they all called cheerily to her as she walked past. Home,she thought,home at last!Then her fear came rushing in, what would her father do when he saw her? Would her brothers rush to greet her or would they turn away?

Slowly she walked by the front door of the shop where her father and brothers were working. Her father looked up and smiled at her. "Hey there little sprout, did you bring us some pie?" Kathleen smiled, her father wasn't mad at her! It was almost as if he didn't even know she had gone. She ran over and threw her arms around him and the tears streamed down her face "Oh, Father!" she cried, "I was so scared you would be angry with me!" "Why would I be angry with you, little sprout? Just because you took a little longer to get back from the market and forgot our pie is no reason for me to be angry! Are you alright, I don't remember the last time I saw you cry like that...But you know what sad girls need to cheer them up?" He turned to Kathleen's brother's and said "You guys close up the shop, I'm taking this teary eyed mess for a stroll!"

Kathleen couldn't remember the last time her father had closed the shop early or the last time they went to their 'secret stone valley'. She smiled up at her father as they started on their walk and Kathleen felt so happy and for the first time in while she felt she was right where she was supposed to be. Just as they got to the end of the road where they would turn to go off to her favorite place Kathleen vaugely heard from somewhere deep in her mind,the way back will come but once. Be steadfast.Kathleen stopped and looked around for where the words had come from and as she saw her father in front of her she looked to her left and there was a glow coming from behind a tree. Her father reached his hand out to her and called "Little sprout, what's holding you up, don't you want to spend the day with me? You're not scared of the old path are you?" Kathleen wanted to run to him, to play with him like she had as a child, but she heard the words again, the way back will come but once. Be steadfast.Something was pulling at her to go to the light but she wanted to hug her father one more time. Somehow she knew that she didn't have time and she cried as she ran for the glowing Arch. "I love you Father, I'm so sorry!" 

Kathleen dragged herself through the corridors after another long day. She should have been used to it by now but somehow she never seemed rested in the mornings and by night it was all she could to not fall asleep on her way to room. When she turned the corner to the hall with her room she almost didn't notice the Mistress of Novices standing by her door. What does she want? It wasn't meant as a rude thought it was more surprise than anything else. Kathleen had never seen Pia Sedai at her door so late before, actually she had never seen her by her door before any time of the day. Kathleen just wanted to sleep but seeing the Mistress of Novices is at your door has a funny way of perking you up. Before she knew it she was being turned around and was walking back through the halls she had just came from. Kathleen was led into the lower part of the Tower that she had never seen before.

Pia Sedai stopped in front of a door and when Kathleen had composed herself the two entered the room to find a domed chamber where a ter'angreal made of three rounded silver arches stood. Each arch was just tall enough to walk under and they were sitting on a thick silver ring with their ends touching each other. There were three Aes Sedai in formal shawls sitting where the Arches met and a fourth Aes Sedai, also with her shawl, standing off to the side beside a table with three silver chalices. Kathleen had been so tired that the thought had never crossed her mind on her late night walk through the Tower but she smiled as she realized the time had come.

Pia Sedai turned to Kathleen, placed a hand on the girl's shoulder and said, "There are two things that no woman hears until she enters this room. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, no matter your potential and you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered and never come out. When the ter'angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they – were – not – there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Faltering leads to a failure." Pia paused to let all that she said sink in and when she felt enough time had passed she continued. "This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now and you will have only mark against you. Twice more will you be allowed to come here and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse. Many cannot do it their first time here. Now you may speak."

Kathleen heard the warnings and her first thought was to turn away. She was tired but mostly it was the fear of hearing about those who entered and did not return. I am not ready for this! What happens in there that people don't come back? She said I could say no and prepare myself more for this. But how do you prepare for something that you have no information on or access to information. Oh, Kathleen look at you! Scared about walking through a door, really? This Tower has made you into nothing more than a fool-headed worrier. The real Kathleen would have as much faith in her as these Aes Sedai must for giving her the opportunity. You have let yourself become so skidish and unsure of yourself, now straighten your back, you are still your father's daughter and he would skin you alive to see the mouse you've become! With that Kathleen straightened her posture, looked Pia Sedai in the eye and said "I am ready."

With the words out of her mouth, the Brown Sister who was standing beside the table spoke.

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"

Pia answered, "One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister."

The Brown Sister continued to question and Pia continued to answer.

"Is she ready?"

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

"Does she know her fears?"

"She has never faced them, but now is willing."

"Then let her face what she fears."

When the dialog ended Pia turned to Kathleen and told her to remove her dress and stockings. As Kathleen removed her clothes she began to blush. She hadn't shown this much skin to anyone since she was a babe in the bath and even then it was only to her mother. She folded her clothes neatly in a pile and then Pai Sedai led her to the first Arch. As Kathleen approached it the space in the Arch began to glow and she heard Pia softly say, "The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

As Kathleen entered the Dining Hall with Brandessa she was surprised to see that so few people could make such a big mess. She had heard the cook say that her mistake was caught after only a few people but from the mess left behind it looked like quite a few more people than Kathleen had thought.

She saw the mess all around her but the first job on her mind was the clear all the salt shakers and remove the laxatives. She still had trouble thinking about that and as she loaded them on to a tray to be taken into the kitchen to clean she couldn't help but wonder how the people who had ingested it were feeling. She knew that by now all the people who had taken ill would have been healed but no amount of healing would change their opinion of her now. She had wanted so fiercely to be looked upon with high regard and she knew that it would be a long time, if ever, that she could get her image past this.

After all how long and how far had Ray-ray's reputation gotten? People who had never met her could form opinions on her, not that Kathleen would ever form an opinion on anyone without actually getting to know them first. Kathleen couldn't help be reminded of her earlier thoughts of Regalia being Ray-ray just because she fit the description. How silly. How many other people fit that description around the Tower. Maybe not quite as much as the Accepted did, but enough that if you were looking for it you could see it. She just feared that others would not be so compassionate and they would make her time at the Tower much harder than need be. Perhaps they weren't told who made the mistake. Not very likely a scenario, but perhaps.

Kathleen remembered that she was told to return and didn't want to keep Regalia waiting so as quickly as she could she cleaned the rest of the mess. Brandessa did help, but Kathleen took it upon herself to clean the messiest and hardest jobs in an act of redemption. She felt bad for the Accepted who was sent with her, she really didn't have anything to do with it she was just in a bad place at a bad time.

On Kathleen's way back into the kitchen with the salt shakers she spotted the stove and couldn't help thinking that when this day started scrubbing that seemed like the worst that could have happened. Oh how she wished all she had done today was scrub that stove to a shine! She set down the tray and turned to Regalia and curtsied. She had once been told by the girl not to be bothered with curtsies but after all Kathleen had put her through today she thought it was the least she could do, and perhaps a small step to get back in Regalia's good books, if she was ever there before.

"I have finished with the cleaning you sent me to do and I have returned as quickly as I could. I apologize if I have kept you waiting Accepted..the room was more of a mess than I was expecting. Also, I want you to know that I tried to tell her that you had no part in this, that you had shown me around the pantry well and it was my mistake but I don't think she heard me. I'm sorry if I have gotten you in any trouble." Kathleen didn't have to try to sound meek it came very naturally. She tried to hold off tears but one rolled down her face.  This not like me, she thought, I have become so weak here! I would never have had my head in the clouds like this at home and I would not be this emotional! What is this Tower doing to me?