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Wheel Funny: Adventures of Narg


[The following is excerpted from Narg: A Memoir, found in the excavation of New Manetheren by archeologists in the Fifth Age.]




One day Narg was wandering through the forest looking for villagers for his cookpot. Intent on his designs, he suddenly stumbled over a strange round statue. Narg need rest. Narg sit on big rock for a little while...




Narg was surprised to find himself in the middle of a village green. Suddenly a villager shouted, "Trolloc!" Before Narg had time to flee, a dozen pitchforks impaled him at the same time. A cruel voice whispered in his head, I have won again, Narg.




Narg then found that he was in a very dark place. Narg can't see! Stumbling over something on the floor, Narg fell backward through a strange twisted doorway, whereupon several dozen foxlike beings viciously pounced on him... Again, the voice in his head whispered, I have won again, Narg.




Narg was sitting outside a large two-story inn. Next to Narg, a yellow tomcat eyed him menacingly. Nice kitty-cat, Narg crooned. Suddenly, the cat pounced on him! I have won again, Narg.




Where has Narg got to this time? Narg looked up just in time to see a giant rock sliding from a cliff above him. I have won again, Narg.




Narg looked around the interior of a farmhouse. A young man was holding a sword menacingly toward him. Narg have idea. Narg said, "Put sword down. No need sword." The young man put down the sword, but at the same instant a gateway opened, cutting poor Narg in half. I have won again, Narg.




Maybe Narg not die this time... Without warning, several hundred spikes came down from the ceiling...




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                                      Trolloc Bi-Weekly Bugle




By: Sorgi the Ko'Bal Trolloc


       The author is thrilled! He plans to donate much of the proceeds to the 'Trolloc Widows and Orphans of War Fund' and the 'Blight Home for Retired Trollocs' wherein resides his own grandmother. When I spoke to him, Mr. Narg was adamant that he, partnered with the 'Jerry Foundation for Endangered Villains' would promote the work in primitive and barbaric nations such as the Borderlands and Tar Valon. 'I do dis for monsters everywhere,' he said in his interview with the Bugle's Mr. Gor Boris. 


For the rest of this article, turn to page A3

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Nice, I love the reference to the first trolloc in the story. Truly a great tale for the ages.

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