You? No!

[Arette]

It had been a week of nightmares for Arette after the bond to Con had snapped all the sudden one late evening. He had been still in Amadicia, but that was pretty much all she had been able to gauge, so different the trace was to Warder's bond. There were a dozen explanations of what could have happened, but only one was the logical one. He was being Questioned and since he hadn't already sent a word, the verdict must have been an ominous one. Still there was some hope left, maybe it was bandits or a thief or... Willamina wouldn't participate in her guessing games and merely kept her busy. But no matter how hard she drove Arette, she found it hard to catch sleep at nights. Luckily there were herbs for that too and she was going to brew a tea soon and head to bed.

 

The scene at the house was cozy and in any other night it would have lightened up her mood. Calvin sat on an armchair and read a book in firelight smoking his pipe. The girls slept in front of the fireplace curled up with their brand new kittens. Her heart swelled with love for them. She hoped that she had managed to keep her grief and worry from them, they had only recently gotten their mother back and they needed to have her there fully with them. The kittens had been a fine distraction, though and made even her smile on a few occasions. She would have to carry Rana and Cina to the bed too, always a lovely task. A very lonely bed despite the two twisting and turning toddlers, she thought bleakly on verge of tears. Con would never return and the girls wouldn't get to know their father.

 

Calvin broke the silence angrily but wisely kept his voice down. "There you go, thinking him again. Burn him, he has been nothing but trouble to you. It would be best for everyone if he never..."

 

Sorrow changed to rage in an instant and Arette stood before Calvin poking him on the chest painfully. "Don't you dare to speak about him like that", she hissed. "He WILL come back and if you can't be happy for me, I will have your hide. Or maybe the bond and my brooding chafes you so badly that you need a release from it, Calvin."

 

It only escalated from there as they both vented the past week's frustrations and even older things in low growls. Arette had just slapped him resoundly and he had a firm hold of her shoulders ready for a shake when a knock at the door froze them.

 

With a scathing glare Arette shook free from his hands and tidied her clothing. Calvin rubbed his cheek wearily and returned to his pipe striking the firestone fiercely to light it again.

 

Arette checked quickly that the girls hadn't woken up and shame reddened her cheeks even further. She was a bad mother for arguing like that in front of her children. They would have been scared to death if their voices had stirred them.

 

It took her a moment to even her breathing and overcome the adrenaline and her chagrin to appear normal before she could open the door. It was one of the village boys.

 

"What is it, Wil? Does someone need me?", she asked a bit more sharply than she had intended.

 

"Someone was asking for you, Mistress Stavros", the boy blurted and shuffled uneasily.

 

The name made her blanch slightly. Light, she was a widow even before she was married. Only this could finally be the message she had been praying for. She peered eagerly into the darkness behind him and could make out a man's shape. He approached the light from the doorway and there was something tantalizingly familiar about him that Arette just couldn't place. Her heart was racing as she waited for the messenger to make his slow way to her.

 

His illuminated face was a shock. It was a person she had never expected to see again - and someone she had never wanted to see either, especially on a day like this. But it couldn't be the same man, he had been in his middle years when she had last had the displeasure of meeting him and this one was in his thirties. Still, he was the spitting image of Rasputin Felar in his thirties when she had seen him for the first time and still liked him. A son? She had never heard of him and Tania having a son, but this one could be a bastard. She snapped her mouth shut and eyed the man measuringly. He wasn't wearing white at least, but he could still have been sent by Con.

 

"Thank you, Wil. You have done well and you can go now. Sleep well and say the same to your mother if she is still awake." The boy nodded, clearly happy to be gone and spurted toward his family's house not very far away.

 

Only then Arette turned on to the fellow who had been studying her and met his gaze evenly. "You were asking for me. Do you... have a message for me?" Her voice sounded pitifully hopeful even to her own ears. She steeled it. "And who do I have the honour of speaking to? Related to Felar family by a chance? You have the look of it."

 

Arette Nenatiar

Former Keeper of the Chronicles

Exiled Brown Sister

Mother of Rana and Cina

Bonded to Calvin Gaidin

[Arette]

There were only so many things that could lure Rasputin Felar away from the Fortress. Any of these reasons had to be of the utmost importance, and in this case it was. His wife had asked a favour of him, there had been no argument on his part as he'd seen no reason to. Furthermore, she had been right, there was a risk that needed to be attended to. So, that was why he found himself in the small village of Fernhill, his wife and his conscience. There were many who would have laughed at the thought of someone of his allegiances possessing such a thing, but such people were misguided fools and more than likely the sort to hide their bloodlust behind a facade of righteousness.

 

But that was not his way, he did what needed to be done. Beyond that, there was no reason for violence, no reason to kill. Killing was just one way to change things and there were many less harmful ways to create chaos in a world of order. Sometimes it was as simple as shifting a grain of sand, or altering the course of a river. That was what he was doing now, despite what had been ordained. It wouldn't matter if it was traced to him, though he doubted it would. All that mattered was the end result, he could take the consequences if there were any.

 

A young lad had been the one to help him, one by the name of Wil. It was awhile before they reached the place he was after, the home of Arette Nenatiar, once the Keeper of Chronicles, but they were there. Tethering his horse nearby, the lad was kind enough to knock on the door and ask for her. Standing in his dark leather breeches and jacket, he had little doubt that she would remember him when she saw him, if not believe it was him. But, time was of the essence, she'd have to believe and furthermore do as she was told if they were to win free of the weavings of the wheel.

 

There was a slight pause as she saw him, recognition, but she kept her head. Watching Wil disappear, Rasputin turned back to Arette only to find her just as authorative as before. Her voice on the otherhand betrayed a different person altogether, Con had mellowed her after all. Or maybe no longer wielding the staff had something to do with it, or both. Her words caused him to frown though, was she playing games? Or perhaps just denying what was obvious.

 

Shaking his head at her, Rasputin decided on bluntness. "Don't play games Arette, we don't have time for it and they're on their way. Get inside, start packing." Walking forward so she had no choice but to move back, he closed the door behind him before adding. "Don't even think about it either unless you want to give away our position."

 

Rasputin Felar

Dreadlord

[Arette]

It had to be him, Arette knew that voice. But how could Rasputin be in his thirties? Unless.... He was already pushing her inside as her eyes widened and she stood on edge of embracing Saidar prepared to defend herself. His words made through to her and she paused a heart beat before actually taking a hold of Saidar.

 

"Who are these they you talk about?" Sensing her alarm Calvin jumped to his feet behind her grabbing his axe but she motioned him to hold. If Rasputin had come here to kill them, he could have done it already, but she would be ready just in case. "I won't put my daughters into your hands until you answer." She couldn't help her eyes darting at the fireplace and the four tangled forms in front of it.

 

"'They' are coming to take your children, they are more than willing to kill you and Calvin in the process. That is all you need to know for the moment, now if you don't mind we are on a tight schedule and I only have so much time." Looking over Arette's shoulder to Calvin, Rasputin pointed over to the babies. "They need to be made ready to travel, if you've got a basket for it then put them in there and wrap them up. We have alot of distance to make and not much time to do it in. Unless you'd care to see Arette roasted or impaled I suggest you at least get moving."

 

Questions about how he knew all about this and why he even cared flashed through Arette's head, but he was right. If there was some danger, they'd better move quickly and save talking later. Roasted or impaled... Light, it had to be the Children. She nodded firmly as a sign of compliance and listed items for Calvin to fetch, mainly just money and spare clothes and two of the few books she had brought from Tar Valon. They were a gift from Karana and first editions and she wouldn't leave them behind. She herself started waking up the girls gently while she stuffed their diapers and clothes to a basket. The girls were too heavy to be carried easily in a basket anymore so she would have to hold them herself.

 

Once Rana got her eyes open and some of her wits about, she reached her little hands for the kitten. Cina was still half slumbering against her chest but Arette managed to open a honey jar and stick a baby's dummy inside and place it to Rana's mouth. It would keep her silent for a moment despite having to leave her precious Ena behind. Calvin came down from upstairs with saddlebags just as she had managed to get a hold of the basket and both girls. "I am ready, Rasputin. Care to tell me where are we going to?"

 

Preparations were taking too long, but then Rasputin had certain limitations to his help. He had to show as little of his skills as could be managed, in particular when it came to Traveling. The less the light knew about the shadow's capabilities, the less they could prepare. Besides, if all went well then it wouldn't be an issue. With Calvin joining them with the saddlebags, it was time to go. More questions of course, they were taking too long as it was. "We'll head south, and fro-"

 

Grabbing Arette and pulling her clear of the fire that blossomed through the windows, the roar of the flames along with the defeaning shattering of glass was more than enough to end all conversation. He had thought that they were here to take the children, where they here to kill instead? Shoving Arette towards Calvin who had dropped his saddlebags and had his blade out, Rasputin was already weaving as he spoke. "Give the babies to Calvin, he can't help us. They're darkfriends to the last, no prisoners."

 

Not a moment too soon as the main door crashed open, the pair of men that entered with blades raised collapsed as Rasputin slit their throats with air. Bending down and taking up a blade even as the wailing of the babies crescendo'd, his face shifted to one dissimilar from his own and wards wrapped themselves about his person as he stepped out into the night.

[Arette]

What in the Light's name was going on here? The attackers were supposed to be Whitecloaks, not Dreadlords. And males at such since she couldn't sense their weaving. The frightened cries of the girls twisted her heart and reminded her of the fateful night when another pair of twins had been taken. No one would touch her children. She shoved wailing Rana and Cina to Calvin's arms and filled herself to Saidar to brim. Rasputin dealt handily with the first attackers - they had obviously normal darkfriends as foot soldiers too - and she had time to notice the Mask of Mirrors Rasputin wove around his face before he exited the house. From that, it was evident to her that there was dissention among the Shadow's troops. An interesting fact that she would remember and process later.

 

Arette created five Shields of Air around herself to protect herself from the greatest impact of attacks and tied them off. Trusting Calvin to guard the girls with his life, she also darted outside. The night was dark and even though the fire inside the house shed some light to the surroundings, it made her more a target than helped her. Eyeing the yard warily she ran from the house to the stable. At least the horses were still alive by their nervous snorting and stomping. Sneaking into the building she spotted movement at the aisle. The three dark-clad men spotted her only a moment later, but it was already too late for them. She split her weave three ways and brought down Clubs of Air that landed on the back of the heads of the men with sickening crunches. They crumbled bonelessly on the ground.

 

Darkfriends or no, killing still turned her stomach and she wondered if this was just a clever trap from Rasputin to save their bodies and doom their souls. It wasn't a pleasent knowledge that these wouldn't be the last men she would finish tonight.

 

Barely paying attention to Arette, Rasputin was embroiled in his own combat. Three more men lay at his feet with their necks broken and forgotten, his last two opponents standing before him. Advancing on them with his blade in one hand, his other threw fire and lightning upon them even as they answered in kind. The air was growing hot and the grass underfoot withered and turned to dust from the onslaught even as the shields they had woven about themselves glowed from the impact of their weaves.

 

If he could just get a bit closer, that was it. He was more at home with a shield in hand but a blade would do just as well. Steel was met with steel as Rasputin plunged into the pair, his opponents capable enough with a blade to keep him occupied but it at least split their focus from their weaving, making it harder for them to overwhelm him. Focusing on his defensive weaves, he kept himself safe as he trusted his blade to finish them off.

 

The gloom and doom mentality had to stop or Arette would end up dead and the girls doubly orphans. She had to move and after scanning out of the tiny window of the stable, she knew where she had to go. Fire roared in her small field burning the fruits of her labour to dust and she could see three figures dancing blades. She had to admire Rasputin for managing to keep two opponents, channelers of all things, occupied with his blade while stile doing his own weaving. But then he was a Dreadlord and they probably practiced such things until they could do it in their dreams. The bad thing was that because of the bloody Three Oaths, she would have to go closer and provoke a personal attack.

 

She observed the combatants for a moment and from the way fire evaded them and from the faint glow around them she figured out they were somehow warded or shielded against it. A personal attack, not something affecting a larger area might work. But first she needed to be able to do it. Spurting out of the stable, she raised her hands and pointed drawing all the five elements as much as she could. A lightning crackled from her palms and she could feel the electricity tingling on her own skin and hair. The odor of ozon filled her scent. The shield of the other Dreadlord blocked most of the effect, but she had got his attention and could now consider her life directly in danger.

 

A fireball arched toward her but she blocked it midair with a Shield of Air. Weaving at the edge of what she could hold, thick cables of Water and Fire tightened around one of the enemy Dreadlords and sunk in. The effect was immediate and she was grimly rewarded with shrieks of agony as the blood and other body fluids of the man heated to boiling spot. He sent off more fireballs frantically and she was hard pressed to stop them and had to seek cover behind the small house that caught fire in no time.

 

Then the stream of fire stopped and clangs of only two swords could be heard.

 

Low Wind Rising sweeping aside the Lightning of Three Prongs even as one of the two dreadlords burned behind them, Rasputin was freed to focus on his opponent whose face was blurred. Two channelers were not what he had been expecting, maybe there would be a moment of quarter. There were only a few more blows left in it and locking blades, Rasputin disdained The Grapevine Twines in favour of punching the man in the throat.

 

Kneeling down beside the man as he fell, Rasputin had a blade to the man’s throat even as he slid a shield in place, cutting off all the man’s weaves. The blur around the man’s face disappeared to reveal a face that was much more familiar to Rasputin. Certain that there was no one left, he snarled as he let his own disguise drop. "Who sent you?"

 

The shock on the other man’s face was evident but the words that flowed said everything. "You?! The Master will have your head when he fi-" A gurgle followed as Rasputin slit the man’s throat, he wouldn’t be reporting to anyone and the Master would know nothing as to what had transpired. Standing clear quickly as the man died so as not to be spattered, Rasputin dropped the sword ontop of the man and turned to find Arette standing nearby. No doubt she had heard what had been said, no matter.

 

"Ready you horses, we do not want to be here if more of them come. I’ll take care of the bodies." At that, Rasputin turned and using Earth as it came to him strongest, drew the man into its embrace and started doing so with the others. It was less obvious than burning them off, and if anyone came by the best they could discover was that there had been some form of altercation with the power. They could assume their party was still pursuing Arette.

 

Arette watched Rasputin kill off the obviously last darkfriend but not before he blurted out an interesting piece. Seemingly he and Rasputin served the same person and he was going against the Master's orders. It definately bore thinking. What in Light could be his motives here? Arette merely nodded at his orders of get moving. She didn't know how far they could go tonight with the girls so upset and tired and once the adrenaline set, she would be exhausted from all the channeling too.

 

She called Calvin that it was safe to come out. He had obviously managed to put out the flames inside, but failed to calm down Cina and Rana. The girls were screaming off the top of their lungs and she knew that they were beyond console and would stop only from exhaustion. She was furious at the poor babies being droven to a state like that. If those bastards hadn't been dead already, she would have gladly stabbed them on painful locations. And they had burned part of her house too, burn them. Light, but she was tired already and it was more mental than physical despite the late hour. She had thought that they were safe finally but now they were being pursued again and she had no idea why. It was just like back in the White Tower: surrounded by unseen enemies and not knowing who to trust. She couldn't trust Rasputin either but still she had to follow his lead and just pray for the best.

 

But right then all that mattered was calming the girls down. She cooed at them, whispered to them and rocked them but to no avail. They had been pushed past their limits and she was growing quite anxious herself too which definately didn't help. Finally when Rasputin came to hover at the doorway and would insist that they leave any moment, she did the only thing there was to do. She embraced Saidar with difficulty and wove Spirit gently on the girls and their wailing silenced like cut with a knife as sleep claimed them. She hoped that it wouldn't do them any harm and that their terror wouldn't reflect in their dreams as nighmares. Clutching the babies tightly to her chest, she stood and staggered. She accepted Calvin's support greatfully and he helped her on horseback handing the slumbering girls at her.

 

"Please tell me that we won't need to go very far tonight, Rasputin", she called. "How realistic is a second attack tonight?"

 

There something else she had forgotten to say and it needed to be said no matter what would happen later. "And one other thing... Thank you", she said with a feeling. "I don't know why you did this or why they attacked us, but you saved us." She was polite enough to not mention the nagging doubt that he had arranged the whole thing for some nefarious goal.

 

"Once we get away I can give you some answers, but for now we will have to make some distance. And considering the sheer amount of channeling we did... Ride on ahead a bit. I’ll catch up." Pulling on the reins to bring his horse to a stop, he waited until Arette and the others were away a bit before taking saidin once more. Its power suffusing him, he decided to do something a bit spectacular. It would bring some attention and it would also be confusing for anyone who wanted to follow.

 

Holding a hand towards the house, fire wrapped itself around it but didn’t burn, even as it swelled to sizeable enough proportions as to make even his horse who was accustomed to his channeling. Raising it high even though it wasn’t precisely necessary, he hurled fireball towards the house. Exploding in a shower of wood and flame, the sound of the impact rolled over him and was no doubt heard back in the village.

 

Turning his horse about and heading down the track, as he went he used a very simple earthen weaves to cover the tracks left as he went, including the ones his horse was making. By the time he had caught up to Arette and Calvin, they had made quite some distance. Releasing saidin so as not to attract attention, Rasputin turned to Arette as he answered her questioning stare. "Your house is now ashes, anyone who comes to check will think you are gone. I doubt my eyes and ears are the only one in the village, so they will only have the ruins of your house to report, that will hopefully throw things off for a time."

 

Too tired to argue and knowing that they couldn't get away even if they tried, Arette just rode on focusing on staying sharp enough to notice any potential threats. She thought that he was just going to muddle the tracks and maybe set new false ones. She could have done it too, but he seemed to be perker despite the amounts he had channeled. He was an experienced soldier and battle channeler so he was far more accustomed to enduring the strain and using his strenght evenly whereas she had used far too force for many weaves.

 

Once Rasputin got back, she arched her eyebrows inquiringly. She wanted to know what he had done, it was her house and village after all. Light how people would worry and be scared. She hadn't been able to even leave a note and now with all tracks removed, they couldn't know whether they were alive or dead. At least they couldn't tell anything to the Whitecloaks if they came questioning. She would never call them Children again until Con returned to her. Rasputin's answer was enough to raise her hackles in many ways. Certainly he had thought it necessary, but she had had things there she had intended to retrieve later.

 

"So you burned my house, you bastard", she muttered darkly under her breath. There went her precious book collection and all the other beloved items back from the Tower. Yet more connections severed.

 

"Eyes and Ears, huh? Who are they?", was the only thing she said aloud. There were flaming dark friends in her village, living close to her children and she had left them to Fernhill with just Calvin. They would most likely lurk away like the scum they were after this event and go bother decent people somewhere else, but she would find out who they were and pass the word along. It was all she could do these days, but that had to count too. It was a worrying prospect that the Shadow had an efficient Eye and Ear network too. Light only knew how tightly it overlapped the Tower's system with the all the Black Sisters inside it.

 

"We may have time for talk later, for now we have to make the distance. At least a couple of hours, we’ll be going off the beaten path the entire time. No use of the One Power either, if the house doesn’t fool them then we may have other hunters to contend with." That was the end of conversation at that point. Whatever questions Arette had, she was saving them for another time. A good thing, they needed to focus on travel. Maybe afterward he would give her some answers, if only to keep her safe.

[Arette]

They had been traveling for three days now in wilderness in middle of nowhere and Arette wondered if Rasputin actually knew where they were heading at. The 'no channeling' ban hadn't been lifted so they were forced to do all the chores by hand normally. It wasn't a big issue to her anymore since she had been doing it for over a year anyway. But she had rebelled silently against being prohibited from telling the girls their new bed time story featuring their daddy with One Power enchanced illusions. She had made a promise to Con that the girls would recognize him the next time they'd see and she intended to keep the promise. No one would notice the small trickles she channeled. Right when they had gotten the story started, Rasputin stormed to the small seclusion they had retired to. Arette released Saidar immediately and tried to pretend innocent since he couldn't possibly know what she had been doing.

 

"You decided to join us for a story session too?", she asked him wryly.

 

Frowning, Rasputin shook his head at Arette. He'd been very clear about the restrictions they were under. They were not to go near any settlements or roads and they most certainly were not meant to channel. Nevermind how tempting it had been to go back to the Fortress and leave Arette and Calvin to deal with it all, but Tania had asked him to see them safely on their way and thats what he would do. Now she'd gone and broken the basic rule, nevermind how little of it she had been holding. "No, and no. We're traveling out this way for a reason and we do not need to be found. If this is discovered they can come at us with much greater force and there are limits to the odds that I can face, as there are to you. Don't put them in danger."

 

A look of guilt flashed on her face when he reminded her of the danger. She couldn't help wondering how he had known... he must have some kind of a ter'angreal. Still she faced him stubbornly. "I made a promise to their father that they would recognize him and I don't know how much time I have to fullfill it." If they ever even got the chance of seeing Con again. "It was a trickle, a mere trickle. No one can sense that much unless they are very very close and then they would spot us anyway. And I think that I want my answers now. Why do they spend such resources to find us?"

 

"Whim." That certainly got a look from her. "Howabout we go for a walk? One out of earshot, if I am to give answers then they will be for you alone." Watching Arette consider it for a moment, he then nodded to himself as she called Calvin over to come and finish the story. Walking with Arette beyond the edge of their camp, it was some minutes as they lost themselves amongst the trees before Rasputin spoke again. "There are conditions to my answers, and to my leaving your memory intact. You must swear not to communicate to anyone in anyway of what happened the night I arrived onward to the point we part ways. You must ensure that Calvin does the same. As far as anyone is to know, I am not here and we did not meet and I did not assist you. Nor did I speak to you of what we are going to discuss, agreed?"

 

These answers were something that Arette just had to hear. They had been bothering her for three days and finally some light could be shed into this all. She gave him an incredulous look when he threatened her with Compulsion. If she swore, there was no way she could start weeding out his networks and if she didn't, she would be stumbling blind in the dark and she had no way to know where the next attack would come. Such indecision... But there could be one day a way to undo this by undoing her Oaths again. If only she could somehow get her hands on the Oath Rod. After struggling some time with her two equally bad options, she finally nodded.

 

"Fine, I swear that I will not communicate to anyone in anyway of any of these events and what you will say to me. And Calvin will do what I tell him to do and I will ask him to not communicate to anyone in anyway of any of these events. And since I can't tell even him what you tell me now, it should satisfy you." She shot him an exasperated look. Obviously he had been dealing with word-twisting Aes Sedai before. It wasn't her forte, though. She had always wielded Aes Sedai authority more openly instead of relying on trickily worded promises.

 

"That will do, howabout we sit down?" Helping himself to a fallen log, he waited until Arette was sitting beside him. Taking a moment to contemplate what could and couldn't be said, Rasputin took a care with his words as he spoke of them. After all, even if he had gotten the oath out of her he had to be careful with what she knew. "When you rescued your sister's children, the battle that took place attracted attention. When it was learned that you had also borne twins, some people including my Master became very curious about them. So, they resolved to steal them. A darkfriend by the name of Markas Talwin was to take them, I believe you're familiar with him."

 

Reluctantly she sat down. At least now she couldn't reveal her emotions by pacing around. The crumbles he was giving her only sated her appetite to know more. Only one thing prompted an immediate reaction: the last name was indeed familiar to her and she stared at him enraged. That disgusting goat-loving slime had been hired by them to come by the house to do repair work and help at the field and he had played with the girls and held and touched them. He was lucky to be dead - coincidentally only a few days ago which was soon after she had gotten back home again - or she would have gone after him and made him regret the day his mother met his father. No use to get upset over him anymore, he was gone by an insane luck and obviously this attack had been his replacement. The next big questions were who was his Master and why did he want the twins and why had Rasputin interfered.

 

"Your Master...", her voice was heavy with despise but there was a tremor of fear too. The thirteen she could evoke in her mind had been supposed to be trapped in the Dark One's prison and they were the thirteen strongest channelers during the Age of Legends, no mere feat. "A Forsaken, yes? Which one of them? And what would have been done with the girls? And Telcia's children?"

 

"There is no such thing as Forsaken." They were Chosen, and sworn to the Shadow as he was and as high as he ranked, Rasputin knew them to be the Chosen, the most favoured. Sometimes he questioned why they were so, especially when their interests were based more on themselves than the end goals, but that was a different matter. "My Master had nothing to do with Telcia's children. This though, he wanted to test your twins. There are links between twins that do not exist for other people, and there was a chance that your pair might have channeling inherent. If not there were still things he would have done with them."

 

It made her frown deeply in worry that Telcia's case was not connected to this, especially since her twins were an even more special case, children of two channelers. And she didn't even want to imagine what those other things were. "I'm sure that you have another name for them. But do you really believe that I could do anything to him even if I knew which one of the 13 it was? Still, if you are not going to name names, then say so and give me something useful. Is there anywhere safe? And why are you doing this, going against his orders like that?" Light, this was just like back in the Tower. The sleep-depriving paranoia and feeling that danger could lurk anywhere. Only now she had two more lives to fear for than her own and much more precious than hers. Could she even trust him? Burn it all.

 

Chuckling, Rasputin looked to Arette. He would have thought that a Brown sister of all people would have understood his implication. There was only one of the Chosen that would have been interested in tinkering with children. "I would think that you of all people would know just by the suggestion of experimenting, Aginor is my master." Seeing the reaction her face, he continued. "There is little harm in telling you since you are already aware that they're around in the world. As to why I disagree... Not all of us swore for greed or power, Arette. I do not kill unless it is necessary, I will regret doing it but I will do it all the same. Let us also say it is the courtesy of one mother to another."

 

Aginor, the mad scientist wanted her children. She shivered. She should have guessed, but she rather heard him say it flat out. From one mother to another... That had to mean Tania and if she knew about all this, it made her a Black Sister. Not her first guess, but she wouldn't trust any sister she hadn't seen unswear and reswear the Oaths with her own eyes. Still it disappointed her deeply. She had liked them both so much once. Was Cara of the bunch too and did she even want to know?

 

"Then why did you swear? After you started channeling or did that come only later? No, please tell me first will he cease his pursuit? Are you going to take us somewhere specific or just away?"

 

"Maybe, I do not know for sure. I am hoping this will be a flight of fancy, and hopefully he will get news that you must have died in the flames along with the children. By the time he learns that you survived, hopefully he will have discarded the thought in favour of other projects." Smiling, Rasputin decided that it was time to give her some good news at least. His own source had given him as much information about Arette as could be provided, and he knew this would do her some good. "As to where we are going, we are going to Illian. Con's family is there, and by the time you get there, he will be there."

 

Arette shook her head dubiously at Aginor believing that they were dead. It didn't match with his men never returning. And if they had people who could resurrect weaves from traces, they would know that there had been two channelers. Maybe if they were skillful enough, they could even figure out there had been an extra male channeler. But they could always hope and pray that Aginor would tire to wait and move on to another amusement. His last words truly electrified her. Unbeknowingly she grabbed his arm tightly and stared at him wide-eyed. "What? How? How old is this information? It's been almost two weeks since the bond broke. What happened to him?"

 

"Its alright, calm yourself Arette." Patting her hand, Rasputin could see that it hadn't been understated how much Arette had changed over the past couple of weeks. Little wonder if she'd placed a bond on him, though the fact that it snapped seemed odd. Then again, he had been under... duress that hadn't been inconsiderable. "From what I can gather, several young questioners decided to take it upon themselves to question Con. Others sprung him free, and afterward the Lord Captain Commander released him from his oath which allowed him to travel. From there he has made for Illian, no doubt to evade the questioners that will be chasing him. They will not be keen to let him slip through their grasp, but Con gave the Tower a merry enough chase so I doubt the Questioners shall be a problem."

 

She didn't even realized what she had done until he touched her hand. She startled and immediately made a bit more space between them entangling her hand. It wasn't dislike, but that kind of behaviour simply wasn't proper by any standards. "My apologies, I was quite over myself. It's just..." He was free. Thank the Light! They could finally be together as a family. She couldn't help but smile at him widely, a look that made her fairly plain face look young and almost pretty. "Thank you. Thank you again. Although a Questioning... and duress you said" The beaming look was replaced by a concerned frown. "I guessed it, but is he alright?

 

"I don’t know, all I know is that he was questioned and he was freed. That and he is heading towards Illian, and that’s more of an educated guess. The Children aren’t welcome there to cause trouble and it is where his family is. If nothing else, you can send word to him from there to have him come to you." The change in Arette was vast, if he wasn’t mistaken that had been genuine gratitude from her. And while she was no Tania, no one was, he could understand a little of why Con had fallen for her. "But either way, we must survive the travel. I’ll only be able to see you further for a few more days before I must return to my duties, but that should see you far enough that you won’t be noticed."

 

Rasputin couldn't relieve her worries entirely but he had done quite enough already, almost in suspicious amounts. Arette would definately have to delve deeper into his motives and she had to admit, she was getting quite curious. Right now she was willing to forgive him almost anything, even the earlier blackmailing. After all, she had come to admit to herself that it had been entirely her own fault for doing something so horrible in the first place and hiring him to do her dirty work. Still he wouldn't have had to take an advantage over it and she still did feel quite a fool for not calling his bluff... even more so now when she knew of his true allegiance. How much had she actually benefited the Shadow by giving him information and assigning him some jobs he had required? She had actually investigated closely what his men had done then, but Light only knew what had been their true goal and without that was been impossible to see which acts had fulfilled Shadow's bidding. She would have to establish some of that to alleviate her guilt. And she had to reply to him.

 

"Of course, you are right that we are not out of the hot water yet. I... if he really is going to Illian, it will be too little time anyway for the girls to..." She was certain that Con would forgive her since he would get to know his daughters in person now. "I promise to be a good little soldier from now on and not channel anymore during the journey. There." She smiled with wry humour. "Now, you have been most gracious to give me the most important answers after I peppered you like a Questioner..." A very bad comparison there, she thought morbidbly. "... ah, I mean... of course I do have some more to ask, everything you say pops up at least two new questions, but they would be just to sate my own personal curiousity. More like a conversation." A Brown sister could never leave her shawl behind entirely. "If it would entertain you of course."

 

Looking at Arette, Rasputin smiled slightly. "I can tell you what is necessary for you to know in order to keep yourself out of trouble, maybe a little more but you’ll understand if I am not the most forthcoming person. And thank you, I don’t wish to kill more people over this. Besides the waste, it will attract more attention and despite my… differences with some of my fellows, I do have other things to consider."

 

"Fair enough, I can see why you would not want to blurt it all out." But she was going to get something off him. She wouldn't mind ridding the world of some more darkfriends only it would have to be she who did the deed. She still hadn't quite reconsiled herself with killing the five men even though they had all tried to kill her and those she loved. "What do you think that I need to know to stay out of trouble? Something to be wary of in Illian? And Light, I had forgotten... if Telcia's children don't tie to this attack, who was behind the kidnap? Could Aginor decide to want them instead?" To end it on a lighter note and to get him a bit more talkative about himself, she decided to ask something personal. "And how old are you exactly? I'm sure that you are quite well preserved for a man of your age what ever it is thanks to slowing."

 

"Well preserved?" Rasputin laughed as he shook his head. "Let us say I have been around awhile. As to what you need to know to stay out of trouble, channel as little as possible. When you get to Illian, be sure to have abandoned your horses beforehand and go in on foot, mess up your clothes a bit. Be someone that people overlook, get to the Perfumed Quarter and find Con’s family and hide there for a time. I think Telcia’s children will be fine, but after I got you to safety I will be visiting her soon after if I have any word that she is under a similar threat."

 

So, he didn't want to tell his age. Fair enough, but she wasn't going to give up that easily. The security advice sounded reasonable so she nodded in agreement. His last comment made her gape. This was certainly unexpected. She was grateful of course, but it was almost too good to be true and honest. "Why does Tania care so much? To my knowledge she barely even knows Telcia", she blurted. "And how will you get to her in time? How did you get to me in time?" She slanted him a sly look. "Traveling? Don't try to claim you don't know it. Everyone and their sister and brother knows it these days, the Tower, the Black Tower." Everyone knew it but her. Meh. And she doubted that she would ever have the chance to learn either, not until the Last Battle when it would be almost too late to use it. "You have people there too, I'm sure. Speaking of which, are your people really good enough that they would spot and find your Traveling weave from here and be able to trace it to where it lead?" They could be in Illian already or nearby in some sparsely populated safe countryside location. And she would really love to see how the weave worked even if it was performed by a male channeler and she couldn't follow his weaving.

 

That definitely soured things a little, it was going to sound a little weak for Rasputin to deny that he knew how to travel. Arette was aware the Black Tower had it, and he’d demonstrated his capacity with the One Power too well... It wouldn’t have been a problem if his fellows hadn’t arrived but that was done with. "I don’t suppose it would be that convincing now to deny I know, would it? If they hadn’t arrived and you hadn’t seen me channel... Well, that is done with. I suppose I shall have to send you ahead, and that will save me time and allow me to return earlier. As for Tania, you are aware that she supports an orphanage within Tar Valon? She was raised there herself before she was discovered. She abhors the harming of children, and I agree with her. Like I said before, we all serve the Shadow for different reasons."

 

The prospect of getting to Travel absolutely thrilled Arette and she knew she couldn't have contained it entirely from his amused look. Still the idea of Traveling with Saidin was quite frightening, even if it most likely had been secured in some way for him since he had been able to live for so long. Him changing the topic to Tania helped her overcome the unease. She had been aware of Tania's background but she hadn't thought that it still affected her so profoundly, Aes Sedai were supposed to leave their pasts behind when reaching the Ring. She could definately laud the principle of not harming children. Him admitting feeling the same was still a surprise, quite frankly him being a darkfriend at all was hard to believe from time to time. He seemed far too normal and even nice for it which certainly made him only more dangerous. Maybe she shouldn't even ask anything and just be happy to be on her way, but it bothered her to not know things.

 

"Please do thank Tania for me the next time you see her." That much she could say genuinely. She wasn't sure if she really wished her well. Maybe it would be for good if the Black Ajah Hunters caught her since she could be still brought back. No matter how long one had walked in the Shadow, it was still no too late to redeem themselves. It would be frightening what he would do if something happened to her. They had already had one rampant Dreadlord attack on the Tower. Rasputin didn't seem like the reckless type, but his intelligence and military experience would make his strike even bigger threat. But first she would want to understand his motive. "What's your reason for serving the Shadow then?"

 

"Because it’s the right thing to do." Grinning at Arette’s confused look, Rasputin concluded that there was much the Aes Sedai didn’t know or had been suppressed. No surprises there, when he had met Nyssa she had been similarly confused. "The problem with our beliefs is that we accept things as they are. Seven spokes for seven ages, doomed to repeat what has come before and what will come again. Why? Why should we constantly be doomed to repeat our mistakes? Is the last battle truly the last battle or simply the sign of a new age that will come again? I serve because I hope to free us from the wheel, and instead of repeating our misfortunes we can chance to forge our own path. Perhaps it will be darkness, or perhaps it will be a new dawn, a truly new dawn. Either way is better than repeating our sins over and over."

 

"I don't believe that every Age is a carbon copy of itself, the main events are probably somewhat similar but it is like comparing seasons to each others. There is certain alikeness and same features, but each one is still quite different from the last season. And this battle will most likely not be the last one, but it feels like it to us so we call it that way. And it is quite decisive since the Dark One is breaking loose. I honestly find it almost impossible to imagine what a world without the Wheel would be like and... it is very much a matter of belief, but I can't see why there shouldn't be a Wheel. Why do you believe that the world would be any better that way? It would be made in his dark image and would you honestly want to live in that kind of a world and have Cara live there?"

 

"I think it’s a lie that it would be made in his image." Rasputin smiled as he warmed to the subject a little. After all, there was nothing to be lost in speaking of belief. "Good and evil are human understandings, the Creator and the Great Lord are so different that I think that we cannot understand them in our terms of morality. Instead, look at their basic natures. The Creator tries to keep things the way they are, the Great Lord tries to change and overturn them. Order and Chaos. Order is tranquility but stagnation, Chaos is change but it can be for good or bad. I don’t like the idea of the wheel weaving my fate and certainly not my daughter’s. I’d rather give her a world where she can make her own choices, her own decisions. That is real freedom."

 

She smiled back at him as he clearly enjoyed speaking the topic. It was quite fascinating since the Tower had been interested only of hearing of deeds and plots of the darkfriends, not of their beliefs, assuming that every darkfriend was an evil person who had turned to Shadow for greed and ambition. But it seemed that there was some kind of a philosophy among some of them. Maybe dating back to Ishamael? He had been reputed to be a thinker during the Age of Legends. She frowned a bit confused. "I am not certain if I understand you correctly. Do you suggest that the reason why the world doesn't change - maybe even cannot change - is because the Dark One is trapped and he embodies change? And to an extent the Wheel weaves our actions to it. Or rather, our doings determine Pattern, not the other way around. How I understand it, only the ta'veren are pushed very hard by the Wheel to do what must be done to restore the balance... or Order I guess. We exhcange some freedom to safety from changes on large scale such as the darkfriends, the ones driven by greed and ambition would commit and do even now. But is it really worth killing so many and having to commit all kind of deeds that are deemed evil? How can you be so sure that the Dark One isn't really evil and isn't just using you all, even you?"

 

"I can’t be entirely sure, that’s what faith is for. In the same way that you have faith in the Creator being all that is good and the Great Lord being all that is evil." That seemed to put things in perspective. "Its complicated, but here are the basics. Chaos creates and destroys, but Order creates a sense to it, gives it time. As the seven ages passed, for some reason we cannot know for certain Order and Chaos who always contend with one another split, maybe it was human intervention when they became too powerful. Chaos was cast out, Order either due to its own desire to dominate or because it couldn’t create new things simply repeats what happened using the wheel. Ta’veren as you name them are simply the Creator’s tools, if things change too much they pull everything back into line. The only ways to upset the balance are to change things, and the most immediate forms of change are violence, destruction, they pave the way for new creation. By upsetting what exists, we make the Great Lord’s release more likely. When he is released, then things shall, hopefully, be restored so we can live as we were meant to, always new, always forging ahead, not repeating the same battles a thousand times even if the names and the faces change a little."

 

She nodded at what he said about it all being faith. There was no way to know either way. It felt quite absurd when you thought about it that so many people in the world were willing to kill and die for matters of belief. But for the opposing side it was still better reason than mere ambition and greed even if they were wrong. What Rasputin explained was kind of logical but still so very twisted. It was unbelievable that he could justify the immense amounts of killing just like that, simply by believing. "And do you think that the people will actually thank you for what you have done with the price you will pay? And can you live with all that blood in your hands? I know that should I survive the Last Battle no matter how it goes, in a sense I would hope I was dead instead. And will it actually be the kind of carnage the scraps we know of the War of the Power tell? How many of the darkfriends actually believe this or is it just an excuse for their wickedness? And more importantly, the Forsaken, do they believe?"

 

Rasputin shrugged. "I’ve seen Lightfools bathe in blood just as easily as Darkfriends, some Aes Sedai I would count amongst those. Yes there are Darkfriends who do it just for themselves, but in the end they aid the cause unwittingly. How to put it... On every side and every belief, there are those who believe and those who justify their bloodlust with righteousness. I was taught that from a very young age and after all this time I can say that that much is true. As to blood on my hands… I have more than you know, but I do not do this for the glory or to be thanked, I do it because it needs doing. Besides, look at Artur Hawkwing, the years where he took his holdings from a small country to the entire Westlands. His wars killed thousands upon thousands of people yet what he gave the common people afterward was enough that they loved him for it and forgot what he did to achieve all of that. The Light and its Ta’veren are just as capable of terrible acts, this Dragon is no different, he will shatter everything he touches just to turn it into a tool for Tarmon Gaidon, thousands have died and more will, killing is killing Arette."

 

It was as he said about righteous people, that was exactly what the bloody Whitecloaks were like. Thank the Light Con was free of them now. It was good that he was doing what he did because he believed that it was the right thing, but what the Shadow was doing was and their means were just too horrifying to be worth any end. She had to reluctantly nod at what Rasputin said of the High King. His reign had been long and peaceful at the end, but one human life was too short to make up the turmoil that had started after his death. And the Dragon, that poor mad boy would indeed break the world while saving it. She could only hope that what she and Karana had done for him had been enough, it had better been for Karana had paid a dear price for it. It was a shame that they couldn't have done more to find a cure to the Taint. There just were no easy solutions. "Everything you say is true", she admitted reluctantly. "But it won't be the Dragon's doing alone. He will unite the world and many people will die and have died already because of that, but he's not the only one who does the shattering. It will be all of us, the channelers who will wreck the world and kill the most. He may have his madness as an excuse but there are no excuses really. But you didn't answer my question, do the Forsaken believe this?"

 

"That’s because there is no such thing as a Forsaken." Smiling at the look that got him, Rasputin considered his words as he spoke. "The Chosen believe what they believe, each of them have their own reasons for serving. Most of them serve due to personal desires, but there was also a time when there were more than thirteen Chosen." There was no need to name the fourteenth that was loose. "And here is something for you to consider. Despite the way our ages are replayed, they aren’t always the same. I think this is to a degree due to a limited freedom we have, but as soon as we stray too far the Ta’veren are produced to put things on track. The reason we have our Dragons is because people naturally want to go their own way. But things aren’t the same now as when this Age ended the first time, the Ta’veren break and reset everything so it is. Its senseless because it is unnecessary, we have already done this before, and are now doomed to repeat it in different guises. If you had to commit a terrible crime, or even a series of them, in order to forestall worse, would you not? That is where I stand, if you wish to understand, as do others. Not everyone, but we stand nevertheless."

 

Arette scathed Rasputin with a look as he fiddled with words. The comment about more Forsaken made her eyes widen. Thank the Light he was speaking in a past tense. She had to admit that the whole ta'veren thing didn't feel quite right. That the whole world could revolve around only three people who had to carry the burden of most of it was quite unfair. But life wasn't always fair and that was just how the world worked. The risk the darkfriends were taking and the lives they would take to try to change it was just insane. "If I really believed that what I did could stop the bigger crime and save more lives and that there was no other way, then yes, I would do it. I understand what you are saying but still I really can't understand and accept it. Still it has been quite enlightening and something I didn't know in detail. This dates back to the Trolloc Wars, right? I have read mentions of a darkfriend philosophy from that time that actually helped them to recruit fanatic followers and not just back-stabbing and power hungry fools." She should have studied more, darkfriends just had never really been something of particular interest to her. Now she was suffering from that lack of knowledge.

 

"But as interesting as this is, I don't think that this is leading anywhere. You can't change my belief and you are beyond changing yours." As safe as she was with him currently, he had his... business to attend to and she very much wanted to be united with Con as soon as possible. She could try to keep him with them as long as possible to keep him off from what ever it was he was doing, but with the Traveling having come up already, he would see through her. "But I do have one more question still. Do you know who was behind the kidnap of Telcia's children?"

 

Smiling at her words about changing beliefs, she was right. Even if Rasputin could have considered alternatives after hundreds of years of service, he had too much blood on his hands to step back now. Otherwise everything he had done would be meaningless. When her question turned to Telcia, he decided that honesty was not the best course of action, and it was hundreds of years that allowed him to answer easily without betraying himself. "No, all I know is it was not my master that was involved. As to my beliefs... I don’t spit on your belief as erroneous as it is, and all things considered you could afford a little more respect, hmm? At anyrate, let us head back, you and your gaidin need to be sent on your way."

 

Rasputin's remark about respect genuinely surprised Arette. Despite him being a darkfriend and a fanatic one to a boot and who had likely killed hundreds of people, she did find herself actually grudgingly liking him. She didn't believe that she had showed him disrespect. "What do you mean by more respect?"

 

Raising an eyebrow, Rasputin was surprised at the question. "I am no fanatic. Fanatics do not question themselves, and if you think I have never done so then you are sorely mistaken. Likewise, those who believe in this… There are two kinds of people when it comes to killing. Some dislike it and realise how mortal people are, how easy it is to kill and dislike it. Then there are those who take a liking to it, to the power it offers them to choose whether a person lives or dies. I and those like me are of the former, fanatics are of the latter. I do not assume your faith in the Light is blind, all I ask is that you don’t make the same assumptions about me."

 

"I never said that you were a fanatic but I am sorry if you got that kind of an impression. It wasn't something I meant to convey since even though you do have strong faith, you are nothing like the worst zealots I have seen. It is is a great shame that we might have to meet one day on the opposite sides of the battle field."

 

"Now, as for the journey, you forgot someone from the equation, it would be me, my gaidin AND my daughters Traveling." She tried to soften the sharpness of the words by a slight smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. It might have been an unintentional slip and he might think it a lack of trust or disrespect or what ever he bloody pleased, but she was not going to take any chances anymore when it came to her children even if it bordered paranoia. "Could it be possible to.... no, I'm sure it's not but I would very much like to deliver a word to Fernhill to the Wisdom. Since I couldn't leave a word", she cast an accusing look at him, "she must be thinking that we are dead. I suppose that sending a message would be too risky too." She sighed. There was nothing to be done about it for now.

 

Still walking, Rasputin turned to Arette with a bemused smile on his face. It was very well possible for that matter, he could handle it himself quite personally. It wouldn’t even hurt to tell her now with what was changing because the wisdom of Fernhill would not be there, or anywhere else in the Lands of the Light for Arette to do anything herself about it. "Howabout you give me the message then, I shall give it to her myself."

 

"You would deliver it yourself?" When he just kept smiling annoyingly as if he knew a secret, a gnawing suspicion bothered her enough to burst "Stop that, I won't have you joke about Willamina in such way."

 

"Who said I was joking?" Rasputin chuckled as Arette seemed to be trying to find the words to curse him. "You really think it is that difficult for Darkfriend to love and have friends like other people? If it wasn’t for her, your children would already be stolen. She killed Markas Talwin when she became aware of his intentions and reported the matter to myself. If not for her, you would most likely be a corpse and your children would be in Aginor’s hands."

 

She listened to Rasputin incredulously and wanted to silence him with profanities or by childishly covering her ears. She didn't do either, but believing his far fetched claim was as hard as believing that Karana was a Darkfriend. Only he had no reason to lie really, he could be just messing with her mind but it didn't fit the picture. And it fit, it bloody burning fit. Markas had died peacefully in his sleep with his heart stopped, Willamina had told them and he had been barely in his thirties. Still she cursed the flaming woman for making her to trust her and learning to love and look up to her. And Willamina had been a vile Darkfriend all along. A Darkfriend who had saved her children and she couldn't deny that. "You can deliver my thanks to her too... and tell her that from now on, we are dead to her. Not that our paths would have likely ever crossed again, but just so she knows." It was an effort to school her voice neutral and keep her face impassive when she wanted to rage and cry. She had no intention of giving that satisfaction to him. "With this joyful little piece of news delivered, I think that we can get going."

 

Narrowing his eyes as his smile slipped, Rasputin shook his head. Was it truly so difficult for her to think of Willamina as the friend she was before? It was a shame, but that was her decision and Willamina would accept it, she had known that she would be leaving it all behind regardless of what happened. Perhaps it would be best not to tell her at all, he would have to decide. "That is a shame, especially considering that she sacrificed her place for you, Calvin and your children. There is more to people than the side they pick, maybe someday you will understand that."

 

Beneath the outrage and feeling of betrayal, Arette was definately starting to feel ashamed. She was reacting just like the old Arette, she hadn't changed one whiff despite everything. She had done it again and she should have been more worried of showing her personal dark side to Rasputin than of giving him the satisfaction over her reaction. She was a pitiful person. But still she and Willamina just could not go back being what they had been before. She did owe to Willamina, though and she would send her a short note. She raised her fingers to press tightly both sides of the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes briefly. "No. I mean yes, yes you are right. I am not acting rationally here. Just reacting... badly." Light, she should lock herself tight into a closet and never let herself out and close to people. She always ruined everything. "If you have pen and paper, I will write her a note", she continued in a small voice.

 

Well, that was surprising after her initial outburst, and Rasputin had to say that he approved. He’d approve more if Arette was put in a bit of doubt when it came to the Light, but this was a start if nothing else. That and it was true, while people fought for different causes they were still people. Its when one forgot that... that was when one was capable of senseless violence, instead of restraining oneself to what was necessary. "I would offer you such but I don’t have any, I remember seeing you packing away such though. It will go to her within the day... You know, you are lucky in many ways. While one can’t renounce their oaths, she was retired from her duties which is why she was in Fernhill. It is unfortunate that she will have to be moved because of what happened, but she did it willingly. Even if I hadn’t spoken to you of it, there may be some who still question what happened to Markas. But, it is done."

 

Arette wanted to smack her forehead. Of course she had such supplies, no self-respecting Brown sister would go anywhere without her writing kit and notebook. Well, at least it had gotten his attention off her wool-headed outburst. She blinked at his words about Willamina. Darkfriends could retire and Willamina hadn't been bred and born in Fernhill? She hadn't known that and the Wisdom had probably wanted it forgotten. She did not want to hear anything more of her duties, though. To think that those hands that had taught her healing were stained with Light only knew how many people's blood. Her hands were hardly pure either these days, but they had all attacked her. She had killed in self-defense, the only way she could and she could at least solace herself with the thought that she was feeling guilt, something this man and that woman had to have left behind for large part.

 

She began to head toward the camp certain that Rasputin would follow. She was fairly certain that he had dreamt of retiring too, likely when Cara had been born. But she doubted that he would discuss that topic with her since it would lead toward conversing their loyalties. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to know since there was nothing she could do about it. Knowledge brought pain with it in cases like this. To console herself she went to the sleeping girls and arranged their blankets that didn't really need it and caressed their smooth baby cheeks and whispered doting words. Rana and Cina could cheer her up any time - well, except when they were crying - but tonight the pleasure was laced by guilt that she had left them in middle of their bedtime story. They couldn't comprehend yet why and she didn't want them to feel even for a moment that their mother had abandoned them. But she had the bloody note to write and he seemed to be quite eager to send them on their way so it couldn't be postponed. It took her a while to form the words she wanted to put on the paper in her head before she could actually scribble them down.

 

Willamina,

 

I am sad that things are the way they are. I would have liked to say goodbyes to you in person, even now when I know of your allegiance. I can't express how greatful I am of your teachings and friendship and for saving Rana and Cina. I only wish you wouldn't have had to. You are a good person and since you are allied with Rasputin, I assume that you share his beliefs. After discussing with him, I think that I understand why you have chosen your side and I am glad of that glimpse. I could never have imagined you doing it for selfish reasons. But still I cannot agree and accept. The things you do cannot be justified by anything. Of course neither can the things the followers of the Light have done and will do in name of the Last Battle, but we can at least trust on Creator's mercy to wash away the guilt and sin of true of those who truly repent before our next life.

 

May the Light keep you and allow us to meet again in our next incarnation.

 

Yours respectfully,

 

Arette

 

She tied the note neatly with one of the ribbons for her hair and wondered if she should Ward it. But she doubted that Rasputin would be curious enough to peak at it and it hardly contained anything that was deeply personal. Without the revelation she could have written pages for Willamina. Or maybe not since they would have been mostly self-loathing rantings, basically confessions in hopes that Willamina would absolve her. But she had to do that all by herself now if she wanted to truly honour her mentor and actually put her lessons to use. Handing the paper to Rasputin she declared that she was ready to leave.

 

It was a bit before they were ready to leave, but soon enough Arette and Calvin were ready to go. Having advised them not to stay in the saddle as the horses might not react well to the appearance of a gateway, Rasputin also made sure to focus a good twenty feet away as he began weaving. It took a substantial amount of power to bore his way through the pattern, and he wasn’t going to spend long on it. He needed enough power to remove himself from this place, as well as leave a trap for anyone who came to investigate.

 

It started with a speck of silver, spinning and contorting, it spun until it was well over twelve feet high and another six feet wide. Large enough to accommodate the horses as well as those leading them by the reins, it provided a soft if strong light to their surroundings. Holding it steady, Rasputin gestured to the portal. "That should leave you somewhere northwest of Illian. They won’t have the gates closed at night, but they will have guards ready to question you. Be sure to change your appearance and lose the horses when you are closer."

 

Arette had intended to ask him to explain what he was doing as he went on, something she wasn't sure he would comply to, but he wasted no time and the effect was there before she could even open her mouth. She stared mesmerized at the widening gap in the reality and at the gently rolling countryside beyond it that was so different from the forest they were right then. She wet her lips. The bond told her that Calvin was weary and a bit afraid, but he took the reigns of his horse and plunged through axe ready. She held her sleeping daughters and turned to Rasputin. "How did you do that? How exactly?", she breathed.

 

He just blandly told her to stop wasting time and knowing that she could not pull the knowledge out of him, she let it be. Walking close to him, she was certain that she surprised him by reaching on her toes and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you again" was the only thing she said before walking through with trepidation. She had only walked a few meters when she peered back and saw the gap closing quickly behind her. She couldn't help but shiver and continue to stare at the spot for a moment. Calvin called that it was safe. If they wanted to reach Illian before dawn, they would better keep up good pace since they would have to travel the last miles by foot.