WoT Comedy

[Niel an' Tyomn]

New Spring

 

Aiel: There he is! From half a mile away! Aan'allein! Well, that about wraps it up for us; let's go home.

 

Bukama: Arg.

 

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Gitara: He is born again! I feel him! The Dragon takes his first breath on the slope of Dragonmount! [Dies.]

 

Moiraine: Too bad she didn't specify when and where the Dragon was reborn.

 

Siuan: Yes, it's quite a puzzle.

 

Moiraine: Yes, if only there were some specificity to her comments.

 

Tamra: To be safe, fill this journal with the name of every boy born in the last ten years from here to the ocean.

 

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Lan: Slowly drifting north.

 

Bukama: Hm.

 

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Elaida: Good luck on your test. DON'T MESS UP!!! DON'T GET NERVOUS!!!!

 

Moiraine: I made it.

 

Elaida: Sh*t.

 

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Moiraine: Dresses, dresses, dresses. Oh, so pretty and frilly. One for balls, and one for summer nights...

 

Siuan: Cut two leg holes in that sack over there. Fine.

 

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Moiraine: Cadsuane!

 

Cadsuane: Shut up. What are you doing here?

 

Moiraine: I hear that Borderlanders make great Warders...

 

Cadsuane: Shut up. Try any more of your newly-acquired Aes Sedai crap on me, and I'll spank you like a baby. Get me some tea.

 

Moiraine: You treat me like a child. I must run away.

 

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Lan: A woman follows us.

 

Bukama: Buh.

 

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Lan: You! What do you want here!

 

Moiraine: How dare you! I am a mature Aes Sedai! Now prepare for wasps and nettles.

 

Bukama: Er.

 

Lan: Stop laughing, Bukama.

 

Bukama: Er, er, er.

 

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Edeyn: I wear the special lock of hair. So we must have sex now...

 

Lan: Well, if you have the lock of hair, I suppose we must...

 

Bukama: Er.

 

Lan: Bukama, get out!

 

Bukama: Ur.

 

Lan: Aw, Bukama, don't cry.

 

Bukama: Ur, ur, ur.

 

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Merean: Moiraine. What are you doing here?

 

Moiraine: Merean. What are you doing here?

 

Merean: .....I have to go. Go Light.

 

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Moiraine: Siuan, what are you doing here?

 

Siuan: Waiting for you to fight the Black Ajah.

 

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Lan: With my friend Bukama dead, who will I have such fascinating conversations with?

 

Nynaeve: Er.

 

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Ryne: I am a better fighter.

 

Lan: I know. Yet somehow I beat you.

 

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Merean: I am better with the Power.

 

Moiraine: I know. Yet somehow I beat you.

 

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Moiraine: Merean was Black Ajah. I must destroy evidence of her existence to protect the White Tower. So the Black Ajah can go about their business, and the other Aes Sedai can pretend they don't exist.

 

Lan: You are smart. I will be your Warder.

 

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Moiraine: I will learn from Merean. A highly defensive Aes Sedai poking around in a castle where the Dragon Reborn may be. I'll have to remember that for the future. Hello, Liandrin. What are you doing here?

 

Liandrin: What are YOU doing here? I have to go. Go Light.

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I'll post some more every few hours

B(These aren't my jokes I just thought they were BLOODY AMAZING!)