Shawn's Leaving {ATTN Commander}

[Asfaloth]

Returning to his room after a shift on the wall Shawn collapsed onto his bed. The room was so empty ever since Dene left. It had been a month now and he still hadn't gotten used to the emptiness and the loneliness he felt sitting in this room that they once shared. It would be one thing if he at least knew when she'd return, but she'd left without saying goodbye and with no word as to when she'd be returning. Since her departure Shawn had spent as little time as possible here, staying out until he was bone tired before turning in and waking as early as possible to head out once more. Between wall duty, training his two mentees, his work at the forge and his continued training in the Path of Water he had plenty to keep him busy, to keep his mind off Dene. Except that it wasn't enough. This room was full of too many reminders. Truth was though that it wasn't just this room, it was the entirety of the Yards. They'd shared so many moments together that everywhere he looked he saw something that awakened another memory, soom good and some bad but all featuring Dene.

 

Finally coming to a decision he pushed himself up from the bed and turned to his wardrobe. He packed several changes of clothes, along with his razor and other essentials, into a pack which he tossed on the bed. This was probably a touch premature but he wanted to be ready to leave as soon as the commander gave him permission instead of coming back here to pack later. After a moment's consideration he added his hammer, a set of tools, and the stencil for his Master's mark to the pack in the hopes that he might find a forge to work at while he was gone. Packing the clothes in one side of his saddlebags and the rest of his gear, along with a wetstone, some oil, and extra bowstrings into the other he looked around to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything.

 

Nope, that was it. Carrying a sword on each hip and a pack of throwing knives wrapped around each bicep he hung the saddlebags on the end of his unstrung bow, along with a few extra canteens of water, and slung it across his left shoulder. then he took one last look around and left the room, hopefully for a while. First he went to the stable where he handed over his saddlebags and bow to a stableboy and asked him to have Blaize saddled and ready to leave in an hour. Then he headed to the Commander's office.

 

Shawn had only seen the Commander a few times since he's taken over for Krelsa and hadn't talked to him at all. He'd heard though that the man was fair and he hoped that proved true. Brushing the nonexistent dirt off his uniform red cloak and the blue shirt and black pants and boots he gathered his nerve and knocked on the door. He hoped to conivnce the Commander that he needed to leave the Tower to further his training, and if he was lucky he would be able to do so without letting on the other reason he wanted to leave.

[silhouette]

People always had their own reasons for wanting things. In the end they might want the same things, but the reasons behind those things made their goal different. Gave it a different value. Brand had become very familiar with those reasons, the moment he'd been promoted to his first official function. As a lieutenant he'd been the shoulder for his team to cry on, after their first battle had turned into a disaster. Brand supposed it was in his character, somehow he always ended up being the older brother. That was what made him suitable as Commander of the Guard. He had a talent for listening, but he also had a talent for letting things rest. If someone didn't want to tell you the truth, they often had a good reason for it. If that reason didn't endanger the yards, Brand would let it slide. People's secrets made them into what they were, along with all the other aspects of their mind.

 

Keeping this in mind, Brand listened closely when one of his charges told him her reasons for wanting to change companies. He'd heard of some troubles between her and her squad, but as it was with all things that you picked up on the grapevine, you had to take it with a grain of salt. The woman never mentioned her real reasons, or what Brand thought to be her actual reasons, but as long as he was sure that it wasn't a problem, he could let it slide. After a brief discussion, Brand wrote her a note with orders to transfer to another squad and another barrack. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to do the same the next time she fell for one of her teammates again.

 

Brand was just pondering on the difficulties of falling for someone at the yards when a knock on his door broke him from his reverie. "Come in." he said. To his surprise Anwashawn appeared. Brand hadn't seen the young man all that often since his promotion. He’d been on a different squad while Brand was still captain. “Anwashawn, come in, have a seat.†He said, while pondering on the man before him. What did he know about him? Path of Water, if he wasn’t mistaken. Didn’t he have a relationship with one of his fellow team mates as well? Brand sighed. He hoped it wouldn’t be one of those talks again. “What can I do for you?â€

 

~Brand Ryota

Commander of the guard

[Asfaloth]

When Brand welcomed him in Shawn took the seat that was offered to him and pondered how to ask for the leave he needed. "Well Sir, I come here to ask for a leave of absence." He could see a look of concern cross the Commander's face and hastened to explain. "I would be returning within six months time so you needn't worry that I would forsake my duty to the Tower. The reason for the trip is to further my training in the Path of Water. I wish to ponder the flows of water in different settings to better understand how to model my movements and fighting style after it."

 

Now, would the Commander accept that reasoning or would he want more information? Perhaps a little more, "With your permission Sir, I would like to explore the lakes, rivers, and waterfalls of the Andoran countryside stopping at each one I find to furtehr my training."

 

OOC: huh, it's short, but there's not really much to say yet.

[silhouette]

Brand blinked for a moment. A moment longer. Just a while… what? Flow of the water and… what? He sighed. Water people. As far as he was concerned, they were all weird. But who was he to decide on that? He was Commander now, he had to be accepting of all paths and disciplines, even if he didn’t think they were particularly useful. “So you want to travel through Andor and study the water? Ok… I’m sure that’s possible.†He picked up the book with the guard schedules. He had some room in there, but with Deneira gone and Shawn leaving, he’d have to make some changes. It was doable though. He made some notes in the book, and put a reminder in his agenda to look at it later.

 

“I’ll remove you from the schedule for the next six months.†He settled back in his chair, observing Shawn for a moment. “when do you want to leave? This week? Today? Either is possible. Are you sure though? We have a river closeby, I’m sure you could study that as well.†Brand wondered for a moment if there was a greater reason why Anwashawn was leaving. He didn’t like prying though. If someone had something to say, they’d often start talking after a small nudge. Brand decided to give Anwashawn that nudge. “And you’re sure this is just about your training? Walking away from a situation you’re in here might not make it better, you know…â€

 

~Brand

Commander

[Asfaloth]

"Aye Sir, there is a river, and even a lake nearby to study. But the truth is I feel the need to remove myself from the Yards for a time. Yes, I know that ordinarily running wouldn't solve anything but the problem is not a person or thing here at the Yards but the Yards themselves. I am too distracted by my own thoughts and emotions to perform my duties as they should be performed. Everywhere I look I see things that remind me of that which I've lost. I know that if I could get away from the Tower I could find focus again and be able to concentrate."

 

Shawn stopped himself as soon as he realized how he sounded. he was rambling and that was not what he'd wanted when he'd come here. He'd already said too much. He needed to recover his dignity and leave. Now. "With your permission Sir, I'd like to leave today, this very moment. My things have already been packed in the hope that you'd grant my request and my horse is being saddled now. I'm sorry if that seems presumptuous but I felt such an urgency to leave I felt I must act upon it."

 

Now would Brand rescind his permission now that he knew training was not Shawn's only reason for leaving? Shawn prayed that would not be the case.

[silhouette]

Ah, so that was the whole truth. Love and loss, it turned even the bravest and strongest of men into babbling fools. For a moment Brand thought about his own darling Isabella, safe somewhere in Tar Valon. No matter how strong she was, he would always feel the need to protect her. And if she ever decided she was well and truly done with him, he would no doubt do something similar to what Anwashawn was doing now. Run away. Hide from the truth, until he’d forgotten enough of it for it to be less painful. Very well. Brand had a heart. He understood reasons like the ones Shawn had given him.

 

“I realise that there’s no amount of training that can ever truly wipe away every trace of emotion we carry within ourselves.†Brand started, slowly. Carefully, as if Shawn was a wounded soldier he was talking to. A soldier with wounds so deep that they would never heal again completely. “It’s the same for all of us. Blademaster and trainee, Novice and Aes Sedai. Only time will tell if you’re strong enough to ever grow past this. I will give you time, Anwashawn. But it will not be without a condition. You’re a fine guard, and I would hate to lose you to the rivers and lakes of Andor just because you can’t forget. You will report back to the person who trains you in the Path of Water… Lyv, isn’t it?†he waited patiently for Shawn to answer that. “You’ll report back to your teacher, and when she says you have to come back, you will come back. I trust her judgement in this matter. So should you.â€

 

~Brand Ryota

Commander of the Guard

[Asfaloth]

Well, that sounded like a dismissal. "Yes Sir, thank you Sir. I'll see Lyv before I leave, and I'll be sure to report back as soon as I return." Shawn walked out of the room, closed the door and sighed in relief. That part was over at least, and not quite as apinful as it could have been. Now he just needed to find Lyv. He knew she would understand, so once he found her and got a timeframe she'd approve of he could finally be on his way and get out of here. The longer he stayed here the worse he felt about it. He was being overwhelmed by his own memories, suffocated by them until he felt he couldn't breathe.

 

An hour later Shawn made his way to the stables. The stableboy he'd talked to earlier was there waiting impatiently and holding the reins to Blaize's saddle. Shawn apologized to the boy for the delay and took the reins. As he swung up into the saddle his knee bumped one of his waterskins and hearing it slosh he realized that the boy had used the extra time productively and filled them for him. "Hey," he yelled out. When the boy turned back to see him he flicked a coin in his direction. "Thanks!" As a Tower Guard he did not need to pay the boy for his services but a tip of thanks for going beyond what was required seemed in order.

 

Shawn and Blaize made their way out of the Yards, waving to those he knew as he went. He got some curious looks as they noticed the bulges in his saddlebags but he didn't care to explain. His conversation with Lyv had gone well but had taken longer than he wanted and he was anxious to leave. Lyv wanted to discuss his reasons for leaving, both of them, before she'd give her answer. Finally she'd told him to return in six months, saying that if he hadn't found what he was looking for by then he probably never would. And that, she'd told him, went for both of his problems.

 

He had no plan, no real idea what he was doing or where he was going. He'd said he would be studying the lakes and rivers of the Andoran countryside, and that he did intend to do but he was unfamiliar with that area and not too sure where to go. Shawn turned and crossed one of the bridges to the Western shore of the river. On a whim he had decided to start by following the river South and see where that took him. Eventually he would head West but he didn't know when. He had no plan, other than playing it by ear and making it up as he went.

 

OOC: This will be continued on the east boards. A link will be provided when I write the first post there.