Meeting the People {open to absolutely everyone} (repost)

[jasonr]

ooc: wooohooo I am the first to break in the Dragon Mount BT RP boards!!! I can't post the Dates because they differ from person to person, but I will post the well, poster :D

 

Writen by jasonr

 

ooc: Open to everyone, no specifications, feel free to join in whenever, this is just a fun, get to know each other kind of thread.

 

IC: It had been a hard morning for Noy, as always he got up before sunrise, a habit borne from years of running a farm by himself. Unfortunately, Isha also arose before the sun, and once he saw Noy, he insisted that they get an early start on the day. Running, practice with the sword, and other similar labor, did not seem to hard alone, but when they were together, they were tiring, not to mention that Isha was the one who coordinating it all. Noy sighed, he knew that it was all helping him and keeping him ready for Saidin, but Light, did it always have to be so tiring before they even had proper light to see with.

 

Noy stumbled, bloody roots, and realized that in his thinking, he wandered off near the woods. He chuckled at his absent-mindedness and sat down, leaning against a tree. Noy took hold of Saidin and experimented with Air. He started with a club, and then saw that he could do other things with Air. Noy had seen other men making swords of the One Power. Mainly Fire and Earth made swords, though he had heard that you could make one out if Air. Noy remembered seeing one Asha’man do one made out of Air though. He stood up at his full five feet and eleven inches tall, brown eyes flashing with eagerness, and started doing a semi-complex weave. He misplaced a thread and it collapsed with a bang, which left him blinking and rubbing at his ears. He sighed and lowered his head, which caused his very black hair to fall down to his eyes. It was a weave of only Air, which he finally completed as the one Asha’man had.

 

While Noy was marveling over his achievement, the sun was just peeking over the horizon, and he decided to experiment with some other weaves. Noy made a fireball like weave called Poof, it was similar to a fireball, but about the size of a wooden toothpick. Many people considered it to be useless, as it was not remotely fatal. Noy had come on an idea though, he wrapped the thing in flows of Air, and sent it flying with impressive accuracy. It was fun; it could even be used as a sport! His tiredness, temporarily forgotten, did not stay latent for long. A wave of exhaustion from the earlier exercises and using Saidin for a while right after swept over him, so he decided to sit down against the tree again. Noy leaned his head back, and thought of the lessons to come during the day, about the Taint, about many things and he slowly…

 

……………………………………………..

 

Noy cracked his eyes open, he had a nice nap, the sun was glistening through the leaves of the tree, beating down from the middle of the sky… The middle of the sky! There was no way he had slept that long. “Light Isha is going to be mad if I am late.†He rushed off in the direction of Isha’s house, and stopped when a loud grumble shook his stomach. “Well, maybe I can go to the Inn. After all, it is time for the mid-day meal.†He changed course and headed towards the Inn. Noy opened the door and saw that there was only one empty table; usually it was not this packed. He sat down at it and put his chin at the table, facing the door to the kitchen, he had learned his lesson about walking into the kitchen in search of a serving maid. Noy sighed and waited for someone to walk to him, wishing he had something to cure his boredom.

 

ooc: I have the Poof thing previously approved by Dali, and sorry Estel, I always seem to be saying “Isha made me do thisâ€, “Isha taught me thatâ€, and remember everyone, like I said on the OOC boards, its open to everyone, nothing holding you back.

 

Written by TheWitchKing

 

ooc: Well we have not met formaly, soo tis as a good chance as ever to do soo.

 

IC: For the first time in many months Brand had a day off from training and teaching. So in his usual fashion, he decided to sleep in late and regain as much energie as possible. Waking at mid day, he scrubed his mouth and made his way to the bathroom in the dedicated barracks. A normal sized room greated him as he entred, but it was filled with tubs of many sizes and a large fire pit were a tub of water steamed. Filling a bucket and grabbing a ladle, Brand undressed and hoped into a tub. The fealing of warm water seeping through his skin relaxed him greatly and he spend a good half hour washing himself.

 

Slipping into a new set of clothes, he pollished the the sword pin on his collar and after putting on his hight cut boots, he made his way to the Inn. It was unusual for it to be so packed at this time of day, but then again, the Asha'man and Dedicated's mess was not finnished yet. Peering around he spotted only one table that was free. It had a soldier that he did not know sitting on it, but there was no room, so he made his way over and sat down. The soldier looked up from his day dreaming and Brand smilled. "Hello, im Dedicated Brand Ishmar, do you mind if I sit here?"

 

Writen by jasonr

 

ooc: FYI energy not energie lol. I’m going to make a reference to your eyes; both you and Drenn have them right?

 

IC: Noy looked up as a man approached him. The man walked up and Noy could see clearly now the silver sword-shaped pin on his collar. As he started to straiten, the man said, "Hello, im Dedicated Brand Ishmar, do you mind if I sit here?" Noy was unsure whether to salute the friendly man or not. He certainly would not deny him the chair, but some men here were picky about these things. In the end he decided to remain seated but erect, and leave out the salute. “Of course Dedicated, you are welcome to sit here.†Noy remembered something about this man, he had never met him before, but the name sparked a memory. It was… Something about eyes, Noy looked up at Brand, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and saw what he had never expected to see on a man; black eyes, not just the pupils, but the entire eye, what would have been white too.

 

Noy blinked a few times at this phenomenon, and remembered that there was another man, Dedicated Drenn, who also had eyes like this. “Uhh, if you don’t mind me asking, are you and Dedicated Drenn related, I mean, you have the same colored eyes. Well actually, lack of color.†Noy blinked a few times, he was such an idiot. You are not supposed to point out a man’s abnormalities, especially not in a place of men channelers. Oh, well, it was to late to take back the words now, and Noy was really curios about the answer. Noy shifted around nervously waiting for the answer; well, he had wanted something to cure his boredom, but he hadn’t wanted anything dangerous. He decided to speak again to draw attention away from his foolishness and the dangerous subject. “Do you, uhh, know a way to get the people out of the kitchen, the last time I tried I ended up in Dash’s bad books.†Noy paled a bit, Light he was always letting ‘Dash’ slip out. “I mean, M’hael Haran Dashiva,†he blurted out.

 

Noy laughed nervously, he seemed to be wilting here. Noy could not wait until he became Dedicated and was at least higher in rank then SOMEONE. He took in a deep breath then let it out, he could not have everyone thinking he was a fool now could he? Noy was sure that this man already did, so it didn’t matter anyway. He waited for Brand to reply to his questions, and hoped that he was not mad about the eye inquiry. He was trying to take deep breaths without being obvious about it while he waited for Brand’s answer.

 

written by TheWitchKing

 

ooc: Ok, well the dreaded eye thing question... Death, if you read this, I have found a pretty good background for our abnormality, soo I hope you dont mind if I blab it out here and now.

 

IC: Brand almost broke out in laughter as he watched the man spring up and look as if he would salute sitting in his chair, which was bound to knock something or some one over. “Of course Dedicated, you are welcome to sit here.†Chuckling, Brand ploped himsefl down on the seat next to the soldier. He was too used to people stairing, open mouthed at his eyes to notise the soldier doing just that, but he was supprised that the man had the guts to ask him about them. Grinning ear to ear, he nodded to the man and was just about to answer him just as the soldier talk again. “Do you, uhh, know a way to get the people out of the kitchen, the last time I tried I ended up in Dash’s bad books.â€

 

The change of subject put Brand off guard, but he quickly caught up. His smile broadning he tuged off a talisman of earth that hanged on his neck and slipping just the slightest amount of Saidin into it, he tosed it towards the door of the kitchen. The little talisman erupted in a loud bang that woke the serving man and tosed him out of his seat. The boy rubbed his head and looked about catching Brand wave, his eyes widened and he rushed off to grab food from inside the kitchen. Turning back to the Soldier, Brand smirked. "You always have to wake those bleeding servers, they always seem to fall asleep at the least opertune moments. Usualy, when one introduces himself to some one, they also give there name, but since you look like you are 14 witers old right now, I will let that slip. As for me and Dedicated Drenn's eyes, if you are ready to a long story, I am happy to tell it to you. There arnt many people in the Black Tower that have the guts to ask us about them, but you have them, and for that I like you and will tell you."

 

Brand watched the soldier nod before starting. "Back during the time were there were both men and woman channalers worked with out fear or with out the taint, the time know as the Age of Legends, one man reserched how to revive the life force of some one dead. In short, how to resurect them. During his reserch, he uncovered many things about Saidin and on the eve of the breakthrough, he lost controle over the source and it incured a terrible back lash. The very thing he was trying to discover turned againts him, and instead of giving back the vital energy of the dead, Saidin eat away at the man's color pigment of his skin and eyes. Some say it was a curse given from the Creator to punish him of trying to change what the Creator had done. Anyway, that man had the stupidity to go and have children after that, and it seem that his curse was inherited by his two children. One boy and one girl, they both got married and then the original house split in two. As time passed the great sundering the broke the world, the two fammilies were sepperated... So it comes to now, and two men, both can channal, both have what seems to be the curse. It seems that me and Drenn might be related in a kind of way, but not of close kin, we are just cousin's long sepparated, the main branch of the fammily, mine, became Lords, while Drenn's half turned to farming..."

 

written by jasonr

 

ooc: well, if it ate at the color pigments in his skin, wouldn't his skin be snow white?

And I am assuming that the weave you used was grenade? In this post I am going to have another one of those "blame Isha" references. I really should stop doing that so much. You should try using Word before posting, lol. My comp kept picking up all of your spelling errors. Seeing as I had nothing better to do, I fixed all of the grammatical and spelling errors, I should really get a book, or better yet, a life.

 

IC: Noy watched as Brand took a talisman from around his neck and put a small amount of Saidin in it, fast enough that he barely saw what the man did. Grenade, Noy thought the weave was, his eyes widened when he realized the weave, what use would he have for that particular weave? Noy breathed out a sigh of relief when the talisman erupted with a loud bang in mid-air, awaking the sleeping serving man. The man then saw Brand and rushed into the kitchen to fetch food. "You always have to wake those bleeding servers, they always seem to fall asleep at the least opportune moments.†Noy smiled at this, he had not had much experience with servants or any hired workers, mainly because he was a farmer in Amadicia. Noy was glad that he successfully distracted Brand until he then answered his other question. “Usually, when one introduces himself to some one, they also give there name, but since you look like you are 14 winters old right now, I will let that slip. As for me and Dedicated Drenn's eyes, if you are ready to a long story, I am happy to tell it to you. There aren’t many people in the Black Tower that have the guts to ask us about them, but you have them, and for that I like you and will tell you."

 

Brand waited for Noy to nod then, "Back during the time were there were both men and woman channelers worked without fear and without the taint, the time know as the Age of Legends, one man researched how to revive the life force of some one dead; in short, how to resurrect them. During his research, he uncovered many things about Saidin and on the eve of the breakthrough, he lost control over the source and it incurred a terrible backlash. The very thing he was trying to discover turned against him, and instead of giving back the vital energy of the dead, Saidin ate away at the man's color pigment of his skin and eyes. Some say it was a curse given from the Creator to punish him of trying to change what the Creator had done. Anyway, that man had the stupidity to go and have children after that, and it seem that his two children inherited his curse. One boy and one girl, they both got married and then the original house split in two. As time passed the great sundering that broke the world, the two families were separated... So it comes to now, and two men, both can channel, both have what seems to be the curse. It seems that me and Drenn might be related in a kind of way, but not of close kin, we are just cousin's long separated, the main branch of the family, mine, became Lords, while Drenn's half turned to farming..."

 

Noy was fascinated and at the same time speechless when Brand ended his story. It was amazing that he was able to collect all of this in the limited resources that they had here, although he had said that he was a lord. “I cannot say anything that can top that, I am just a farmer, and do not have any knowledge of my heritage beyond my greatfather.†It was pure truth, he did not want to lie to this man, in fact, and Noy believed that he might become friends with him. The risky side of Noy took hold and he decided to say, “If you don’t mind, can I call you Brand? My back round as a farmer does not fit well with all these titles and ranks. The other day I accidentally called M’hael Haran Dashiva ‘Dash’ to his face.†Noy laughed at his slips, he had done it previously in the conversation, but Brand did not seem to catch that. “Of course, that could be from the influence of my mentor, Isha Talcontar.†It was also the truth, Isha was not one for formalities, at least when they were in private. When they were in public, well that was another story, after all Isha was Shinarian. “By the way, my name is Noy Lugay, and I the last time I checked I had seen a few more winters than that, although sometimes I can make cause for doubt,†Noy smiled at his pun and then realized that he had told Brand a lot, and if the friendly man was one for formalities after all, then he could be in deep trouble.

 

Noy smiled, he doubted his curiosity would allow him to be silent for long anyway. It was risky business, talking to a Lord about rank and titles, but there was something about the man, and Brand had already said that he liked him; Brand liked boldness apparently, and there was not much he could do to be bolder. Noy became a little nervous when waiting for the answer; maybe he was not so completely sure of himself then.

 

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

 

Ged didn´t know when he ever had risen out of bed without being dead tired feeling not to have slept at all. It was a vicious circle. At night he dropped into his bed exhausted and instantly falling asleep soundly, only to be awakened some hours later -hours if he was lucky, if he wasn´t only minutes later - jerking awake his heart pounding as if it wanted to explode inside his chest.

Light he would give anything to be able to just forget what he had done before he had come to the Black Tower, what had caused him to find his cursed ability to channel the One Power ruining his own life.

 

When he had been a boy, Ged had always been dreaming of having adventures like the Hunters of the Horn in the Stories. But now he had to face the brutal ruthless truth telling him that having adventures meant losing his home, his family and everything he had held dear once only to be casted in a struggle for life and sanity, being haunted by what he had done, already feeling at the brink of insanity and almost wanting to embrace death just to end his seemingly ever-lasting misery.

 

Still Ged knew that he would have to stay alive to repent his deeds and live up to at least try to make some good for all the killing he had done. Ten men and his own mother haunted him each and every night constantly reminding him of what he had done and what he was here for.

 

So Ged almost welcomed the hard labour and training he was put under inside the Black Tower. Right now he was running through the woods driven by the bellowing tone of the Asha´man who was giving him another physical training lesson. Panting and his lungs on fire, Ged still held on to his speed, not allowing himself to slow down, willingly to push himself to his very limit as would be expected of him, knowing that he would do well after all, able to endure anything required of him, since nothing could ever get near what he deserved for what he had done in his former life. A life he on the one hand wanted to ban and forget, but on the other hand was filled with a great longing for going back to Baerlon to keep up farming and helping his parents in the house. But his parents were both dead. No denial. No mercy.

 

When he was at the brink of physical breakdown, his lungs on fire and his vision already blurring from effort and sweat matting his face, the lesson was suddenly finished and all Ged could do apart from just falling down on the ground, too exhausted to remain standing even a second longer, was clutching at a tree, lowering himself down leaning against the thick trunk, panting and closing his eyes to recover and make himself think clearly again.

 

When he opened his eyes again though, Ged suddenly realized that all his fellow Soldiers seemed to have gone already and being on his own the only thing bringing him back to alertness was a loud rumble inside his stomach - his hollow stomach.

Sighing deeply Ged drew himself up and on still wobbling legs made his way out of the forest and downhill intent on searching his fellow Soldiers but even more intending to find some inn to get some food into his belly.

 

Although the first attempt to find his fellows seemed futile, Ged was glad to spot an inn nearby and entering it led by the delicious smell of freshly cooked food and wine Ged realized that the inn was packed with people, apparently as hungry as himself at this time of day. But still he was lucky to spot a free chair at one of the tables in the back of the inn, on which already two men were sitting apparently deeply absorbed in talk.

Ged caught up something about black eyes and the books of "Dash", for a second he paused in his motion as he recognized the two black-coated figures as Noy and a Dedicated - according to his silver sword pin decorating the collar of his black coat - who Ged hadn´t met before.

 

"Hello", Ged said to make himself heard, "May I join you two in your conversation in food as I am afraid this place seems to be really packed with people. My name is Ged Maevere anyway, but just call me Ged. I´m rather new at the Farm, so...errh...if you want to keep on your own, it´s ok for me and I´ll find somewhere else..."

 

written by jasonr

 

ooc: hurray! Another person!!! And I am going to make the serving boy FINALLY come out. Geez that kid was slow, or maybe it’s just that we forgot to RP him coming out of the kitchen. *looks considering* hmmm.

 

IC: Before Brand could respond, another man came to them; Ged was what Noy thought his name was. Ged said, looking very tired, "Hello, may I join you two in your conversation in food as I am afraid this place seems to be really packed with people. My name is Ged Maevere anyway, but just call me Ged. I’m rather new at the Farm, so...errh...if you want to keep on your own, it’s ok for me and I’ll find somewhere else..." Noy grinned, if he sat here if would put a stop to the conversation, but he was in the friendly type of mood. “Of course Ged, it’s fine with me if you sit down here, we can talk about things later, I guess.†The last bit was directed at Brand, for Noy still did not know the answer to his question.

 

When he looked at Ged again his smile grew broader, the man was absolutely exhausted. “Don’t worry Ged, the food will be coming out- oh, there it is now.†He said as the serving boy brought food. Luckily, the boy brought a few extra plates and a huge mound of food. Someone must have seen Ged sit down. Noy only waited for the tray and plates to get on the table, then he grabbed a plate and heaped food onto it. Between bites he asked, “So, how was your class, you look exhausted, here have a plate.†Noy passed him a plate and slid the food carefully over to where he sat. Noy joyfully munched down on his food and looked smiled at Ged. Ged was a mirror of how Noy looked when he finished physical training, but he didn’t have hours to sleep it off right after.

 

ooc: AHHHHH tiny post, I can usually do better than this.

 

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

 

Smiling at Noy thankfully as the young man offered him a seat at their table, Ged sat down gratefully, his legs still hurting and every muscle in his body seeminly strained and aching as if standing on fire.

Shifting uneasily he tried to bring himself in a halfway comfortable position untill he gave up sighing deeply. There just didn´t seem any single muscle in his body which didn´t protest fiercely as he put weight upon it, in fact he seemed to be aware of muscles he didn´t even know he had. So Ged remained seated rather akwardly resolving that there was no cure but standing it for now, sildently hoping it would get better with the time and wincing immediately on the thought how long it would take him to get used enough to the physical training not to feel it any longer. For one moment Ged earnestly doubted he would be able to harden himself in such a way at all. Despite being used to hard farmwork from his home village, life at the BlackTower had proved to be a real challenge to both his body and mind. But eager to learn as much as possible and intent on keeping his oath, Ged knew he would be steadfast and bear whatever might still come.

 

Again a loud rumble escaped his stomach and Ged realized gladly that just that very moment the food was brought in as Noy was telling him. Looking at the huge plate of food Noy had tossed over to him, Ged thanked him, smiling openly at him and dug into his food eager to fill the hollow gnawing at him from inside his stomach.

 

When asked about his training lesson, Ged´s mouth twisted into a rueful vexed smile and he asked between two bites of food: "Well I survived it. But Light it is hard and I´m aching all over. Will it always be like that? I sometimes have the feeling that they are only satisfied when they have driven us nearly to physical breakdown. Already now I feel like having hauled sacks of grain for a whole week and the day is barely half over." Ged let out a sigh of resignation and made himself smile, wanting to cover his own weakness he was feeling by now being the person to ask questions to Noy and the other strange man - his eyes startling Ged, since they seemed to be completely drained of any colour but pure black, not only the pupil, but the entire eye, somehow it scared Ged and made him alert. But feeling no threat from the other man he didn´t want to insult him or be impolite and so quickly lowered his stare again, concentrating on his food and glancing over to the two men opposite him, asking: "How long have you been here anyways and how did you come to find your way to the Black Tower? Did you get there on your own like me or were you brought in by any of those recruiters I heard rumours speak of?"

 

As the question was out, Ged bit his lip, wondering frantically if he had gone too far in asking these rather personal questions once again cursing himself for his own curiosity and hoping not to have put the other two men off by questioning them abut themselves knowing how he himself had reacted when first asked about how he had come to the Black Tower. But still Ged still felt so new around here and rather lonely besides and he really could do with someone to talk to and maybe he would even find some friends around here. Men who were like him, who shared the same fate, the same curse.

 

written by jasonr

 

ooc: hurray! Someone has asked the question of where are you from!!! Noy has been in the BT IC time for about as long as you have, maybe shorter. I was going to put this up on the OOC boards and then I saw this post, I am going on a long-overdue spring break in a week from tomorrow, anyone who wants to post on this and Faile&Witch, just go one without me. Huzzah, I finally have an Isha training session that actually happened to speak of.

 

IC: Noy laughed at Ged’s question, he should know by now that every physical training class would be like that. “Ged you should know by now that every class would be like that, and why are you asking me? You have been here as long as I have.†Ged was lucky, he was not living with a Shenarian warrior who considered what they were sweating over refreshing work. Noy remembered in his first class where Isha said they would learn about Saidin. For starters, he made huge clubs of air and wrecked the tops of trees, then wove an explosive ward Noy did not know the name of, and incinerated everything. Then he expected him to clean it all up, roots and all! “If we can’t handle the physical workouts, how in the Pit of Doom to we expect to handle Saidin.†By “we†Noy meant Ged, but did not want to single him out. Noy nearly choked holding in his laughter, when Ged noticed Brand’s eyes, luckily his face did not turn red. “Oh, I forgot to introduce Dedicated Brand Ishmar.â€

 

Brand was silent and Ged went on to ask, "How long have you been here anyways and how did you come to find your way to the Black Tower? Did you get there on your own like me or were you brought in by any of those recruiters I heard rumors speak of?" Noy tensed slightly as painful memories were brought to the surface. Only two people knew the truth of how he was here, Isha and Rion, he did not see much of Rion, and Isha never talked about the past. What Noy told people was that he was brought in by recruitment parties, but that wasn’t the whole truth. The whole truth was simple; he was dragged through the gateway from Amadicia, well, lifted on flows of Air really. For many people, that would not seem bad. After all, he now accepts the Power so nothing is wrong, right? Well, unfortunately there was a little more to his story. What he had left behind was a three-month-pregnant wife with no family other than his parents, unable to make a living, and no one else to take care of her and his inborn child. Noy remembered Rion telling him that he could go back for his wife, but there was an explanation for that too. Noy suppressed thoughts of his wife the best he could, but he suppressed thoughts of his homeland with desperation. He could avoid reality and have childish fancies about going back for his wife but thoughts of Amadicia reminded him that it could not be so.

 

Noy was from Amadicia, and that meant that his wife was too. Noy had been forced by fate to accept the Power, and abandon the belief that humans cannot use it else the Creator would punish them. His wife, Mara, shared no such revelations. There was no way that Mara could willingly accept him being able to channel, it would crush her. Better for her to think him dead or gone than the alternative. With a small, unnoticeable shudder, Noy forced on a smile and made his tone light and uncaring. “I’ve been here about as long as you, like I said, and I was brought here by recruitment parties.†Noy remembered what he had felt when he came, hatred, surprise… fear. Hatred went away quickly, surprise took longer, and he was still afraid. Noy was surprised at how quickly his hate went away, it lessened with his understanding.

 

“Where did you live before coming to the Black Tower?†Noy blinked as he said it. Light, he was such a fool; they would expect him to tell them where he came from also. It was a great way to keep a secret, go around telling everybody what it was. As Noy waited for them to respond, he thought as quickly as he could of a way to get out of the situation, but was not very successful.

 

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

 

“Ged you should know by now that every class would be like that, and why are you asking me? You have been here as long as I have.†Ged nodded a small miserable grin escaping him as he realized how right Noy was about that. Indeed he wouldn´t have the slightest chance in "real" One Power training if he didn´t get used to the physical education he had to go through.

"Yeah, I know, I know", Ged said with a rueful smile, "Just let me whine for awhile and dream of going back to farming work and I´ll be all right", he chuckled about himself as he realized how foolish he was acting. After all it was his own fault, his own cursed self which had brought him into this and there was no way out but gritting his teeth and making the best of it.

 

Gladly for a change of topic, Ged nodded in greeting to "Dedicated Brand Ishmar", as Noy introduced the man with the peculiar black eyes sitting opposite him and to his embarrassment Ged realized that he had openly stared at the man, so that he barely kept himself from blushing now as he shook the other man´s hand in welcome and shot him an apologetic look, hoping the other man would take no offense of his behavour.

 

As he asked Noy where he had come from and how long he had been at the Black Tower though, Ged noticed Noy suddenly getting uneasy and he didn´t have to think long to realize that the other man wasn´t telling him the complete truth when he was saying rather vaguely and apparently wanting to change the topic: “I’ve been here about as long as you, like I said, and I was brought here by recruitment parties.â€

 

Ged nodded understanding. Appaently there was much more beyond what Noy was willing to tell him about his background and suddenly noticing Noy´s sad and melancholic look in his eyes, Ged knew that there was indeed a lot that Noy was keeping silent and that obviously was paining him deeply.

Stiffling a sigh in comiseration, Ged for one time wished he could also tell Noy what was troubling him so much, but he knew he couldn´t tell anyone about it, unless he wanted to be regarded as a monster.

His eyes bulged nearly when he thought of what his question about Noy´s history had caused though. Now he would inevitably also have to tell about himself and his past and judging Noy´s own reluctance about telling about himself, Ged dreaded the question which was to come from him inevitably, as it did, too.

 

“Where did you live before coming to the Black Tower?â€

 

Ged swallowed and had to lick his lips as his mouth suddenly had gone dry when he was confronted with the very question he dreaded most to be asked. Frantically searching his mind in order to find something to tell Noy and Brand without actually lie to them, considering that the only one who really knew that he had burned ten people alive and killed his own mother by accident when channelling for the first time which also had happened by accident as far as Ged had been concerned, he still knew he was the one responsible for eleven deaths. Even if he had killed the ten men at the inn only to protect himself and in a blood rage wanting to avenge his father.

Fighting back a wince and a sigh of sadness and guilt, a cold shiver running down his spine when he was thinking about the screeches and begging faces haunting him in his dreams as well as in the waking world each day as a constant reminder of his black out and of his true monstrous nature, Ged briefly closed his eyes and sighed still not knowing what to say, so he decided to stick as close to the truth as he could without giving away the essential facts. Without making them hate him for what he had done. Light he wished he could make all of it never to have happened. He would do anything to bring them back to life. To have his mother back and see her laugh at his foolshness again. But still Ged knew he couldn´t change what he had done and had to live with it whether he wanted to or not.

 

"I...have grown up in Baerleon, a small town in Andor where I lived with my parents", Ged began reluctantly. "The day when I channelled for the first time my dad died by a gambler´s dagger and I was so enraged that...", Cursing himself for a lightblinded fool, Ged knew he had gone too far, it had to get out one way or another and somehow he had to keep silent about all the people he had killed. "That..that I burned down the entire inn and as a result of that was driven out of the town. You know they were not pleased at all about me having burned down the inn having created fire seemingly out of nowhere...then I heard the rumours about the Black Tower and I knew I had to get here, only I took sick and got a long fever and...and I don´t know much more about how I got there, since the first thing I remembered was lying in bed in Rion´s room here and he introduced me to the Black Tower."

 

There it was out. Ged had to struggle to keep himself from giving himself away by a strained sigh. He had told them as much as he could by now. He hoped that maybe he would be able to talk about what had really happened that fateful day at the inn one day without being immediately driven away or just killed at the spot. He really didn´t want anything more but to find a friend in here who could understand him and with who he could talk about such things, but in the same instant it hit him, that no one knowing the truth about him could ever really want to befriend Ged. Not if he wasn´t beyond the brink of madness already.

Shifting on his chair uneasily, but still trying to cover it, Ged concentrated on his food again not to let his uneasiness about that topic be showing too much.

 

written by jasonr

 

ooc: hurray! I have caused unease and misery. All in a day’s work. Little known fact: Shai’tan is Arabic for Satan.

 

IC: Noy was wracking his brain for an answer to his own question when Ged said, "I...have grown up in Baerleon, a small town in Andor where I lived with my parents. The day when I channelled for the first time my dad died by a gambler´s dagger and I was so enraged that...That..that I burned down the entire inn and as a result of that was driven out of the town. You know they were not pleased at all about me having burned down the inn having created fire seemingly out of nowhere...then I heard the rumours about the Black Tower and I knew I had to get here, only I took sick and got a long fever and...and I don´t know much more about how I got there, since the first thing I remembered was lying in bed in Rion´s room here and he introduced me to the Black Tower.â€

 

Silently, Noy cursed himself and Ged, but mostly Ged. He had asked the man where he came from, not his bloody life story. Noy took a deep breath and knew that he was only mad because he would have to tell more about him self also. Suddenly a thought came to him, what if he… “Were any people hurt in the fire?†Light, channeling had not changed him that much; he would not hurt another to avoid memories. “No, don’t answer that.†Noy sighed, now there was no avoiding it, he had to tell them. He took a deep breath and prepared to tell them the truth, well, some of the truth. “It was true that I had been brought in by the recruitment parties, but you would not imagine where I was brought from.†He knew he was the only Amadician here, they had just started making trips into Amadicia and Noy was the first one. “I was brought in from Amadicia, and I was not as… eager, as I am now.â€

 

Now Noy would let their brains rack and eventually come up with something close to the truth. “Ged, if something else did happen in that Inn, I would not blame you for it. I like you, and it was not your fault. The Dark One is responsible for our exile, and we should not blame ourselves for his cruelty.†This was a matter he had thought of for a long time. He would stay up some nights thinking of where the fault fell. Every time, the Dark One always held the blame. Light, he just told someone else to forget their bad memories and move on, but he could not do the same himself. He wished he could move on, but he knew that as long as he left Mara abandoned and alone to take care of his child, he would never be able to let go. As long as Mara remained, he could never sever his ties with his homeland completely.

 

ooc: sorry to any oldbies who know/knew an Asha’man from Amadicia, but I can’t bring any to mind.

 

written by Faile (AKA Faile1987)

 

After he had stopped telling his "story" Ged looked around trying to figure out how the others around him might take it when Noy suddenly raised his voice in a curious question:

 

“Were any people hurt in the fire?â€

 

Ged winced and shut his eyes for a second as if he could block out Noy´s question by doing so as well as all those faces conjuring up in front of hs eyes again. He failed miserably to do both, but when he took a breath and opened his eyes again, Noy was already saying with an unspoken misery mingled in his voice:

 

“No, don’t answer that.†Gedd looked over to the Soldier who seemed to be his own age and noticed that he looked as miserable himself as Ged was feeling that very moment. Obviously he had his own painful memories he wanted to avoid and Ged was sorry for the pain he was seeing in the other man´s eyes, when Noy continued to speak: “It was true that I had been brought in by the recruitment parties, but you would not imagine where I was brought from.I was brought in from Amadicia, and I was not as… eager, as I am now.â€

 

Ged looked at Noy puzzled about that answer, thinking about what his home country could have had to do with the misery Ged was seeing in the dark man´s eyes. Ged didn´t know much about Amadicia, being no more than a simple Farmboy he didn´t know much of the world, but somehow the name Amadicia rang a bell in his head. There had been Children of the Light in Baerleon for a few weeks before Ged had left, he recalled and someone in an inn mentioned that they were striving far from Amadicia in search of Darkfriends again. Ged shuddered by the mere thought of those Children of the Light, somehow their looks and what rumours were telling about their methods of questioning had made him uneasy whenever he walked by one in the streets and he carefully tried to avoid them as well as he could.

For just a brief moment the thought occured to Ged´s mind what those Children of the Light might do to a man that could channel, considered the fact that they were known to kill even Aes Sedai because of their abiltiy to touch the True Source. Ged couldn´t supress shivering this time and at first was glad to be distracted from such thoughts when Noy started to speak again only to find out that it even let his heart sink more than it had before.

 

 

 

Hearing Noy speak of the One Power and the Dark One in that fashion, he didn´t know whether he should laugh or cry. Shaking his head slowly and raising his eyes to look into Noy´s while he spoke - he actually didn´t know why he was doing that, was he only trying to confirm what he already knew, that Noy would see a monster in him despite what he had just told him before?

 

"You know how often I´ve been trying to tell myself the same, Noy? And by the love of the Light I wish it could be so easy to just believe what you say. But I know what happened, I know what I did this day, what I did, I. Neither the Dark One, nor the One Power, but I myself!" Suddenly unable to face Noy anymore, afraid of what he might see in his eyes when he continued, Ged lowered his eyes, not even realizing that tears of sadness and desperation were running down his face. "You know they killed my father that night. Simply because of a stupid game of cards. Just killed him. Stabbed him right in the heat like some animal. I...I came to look for him after he didn´t come home...and...there he was...then. I...I didn´t know what happened then exactly, I just was too furious and angry at everyone around who were just laughing and pointing with their knives at me...Then...I don´t know how but suddenly i felt some power inside me and when I looked around again, I had killed everyone around me in one strike. Ten men. Ten." Ged paused as he thought his voice might fail him if he talked any further now. But he know that once he had began telling the truth now, he had to carry it too its end as well, "But this is not the end of it...when...when I turned around as someone entered the inn behind me, I just struck out without even looking...I...I just killed without thinking. I...oh Light, I killed my own mother who had come for me because she was worried why Da and me were so late. Light I wished I could make it all undone, but...but I know what I did and I´ll never be able to forgive myself what happened, knowing that it was I who did it, I who is to blame."

 

Shivering uncontrollably, tears now running freely down his cheeks, Ged suddenly straightened himself and made himself look at the two men opposite him, the two men he thought in a foolish fancy could have turned out to be his friends, but now he knew they would never bring themselves to like him, let alone let him live on knowing what he had done.

"I don´t blame you if you want me to go now. I won´t even resist if you are trying to kill me now that you know the truth", as if to emphasize what he had just said, Ged raised his hands and laid them palms down on the wooden table for them to see that he meant no harm. Perhaps it was even better like that now. The truth was out and if they decided to kill him now maybe it was the best for everyone.

 

OOC: Yep, Jason, you did succeed. And sorry for my long post, just kick me when you think I´m rambling too much...

 

written by jasonr

 

ooc: Not to long. I love long posts, I can’t seem to find the inspiration to make mine very long right now though. Humph, you are just making it so dramatic because you know I will be your friend anyways.

 

IC: Noy was shocked when Ged revealed the truth of his past, he blamed himself for the deaths, and it was his fault partially. Noy felt the need to help the man, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to say that it was the Dark One’s fault, explain to Ged all of his logic, but Noy knew that Ged would not accept it. He would just turn in on himself, perhaps commit suicide; he had already said he would let them take his life. Anger swept through Noy, Ged thought he was the only one who had ever made a mistake, he thought that he was alone. Noy would smack Ged if he thought it would make any difference. Noy remembered when he was young, his father was shot with an arrow in a hunting accident. It was nothing fatal, and his father refused to see the doctor. (ooc: in Amadicia, they have hedge-doctors because the women fear the White Cloaks accusing them of being able to channel) His greatfather laughed at his father’s stubbornness, and wrenched the arrow out. Noy’s father was glaring at him, and he said, “If you are going to heal the stubborn way, you have to go through the pain first.†A wise man, his greatfather, even the women rarely called him a fool, or insulted him.

 

If Ged wanted to heal the stubborn way, he would have to go through the pain. Noy wrapped himself up in the void, but did not take hold of Saidin, for that would draw attention from everyone in the Inn. Noy needed the cold emotionless voice for this part. Noy clamped down on Ged’s shoulders, and forced the man to look into his eyes. “You killed ten men.†It was not a question, it was not an accusation, it was simply said. “Then you killed your mother,†it was the same tone as his other statement. Now it was time for the accusations, the arrow might hurt coming out, but it had to come out or you could never heal properly. “What are you going to do about it?†This was in an accusing tone, and he jabbed Ged’s chest with his finger. “Are you going to commit suicide? Throw away your life like it means nothing, just like that? Do you honestly think that it will change anything, your death? Will, it bring your mother back? Will it bring those men back? Will it bring back the Inn, and the others you hurt? You ended eleven lives, possibly more, and ruined the lives of many people in your town. How can you atone for it, will killing yourself make their lives any better? Is it really about that, or are you just being selfish and trying to take the easy way out? You can help them, and atone for what you have done, but instead you give up and practically ask us to kill you. What are you going to do?†he repeated.

 

Noy did not enjoy saying these things, but if Ged was going to be stubborn, Noy would just have to yank the arrow out for him. Noy didn’t expect it to be easy for Ged, these things never were. Noy wondered why he was helping Ged, he barely knew Ged, and they might be called friends, but not very close or good ones. Perhaps it was his way of pulling out his own arrow, his way of making up for leaving Mara. Noy’s heart was bursting from sadness, but he was barely aware of it wrapped up in the Void. Noy released Ged’s shoulders but kept his eyes fixed on Ged’s. Noy had no inkling of what Ged’s reaction would be. It might be guilt, sorrow, anger, Noy didn’t know Ged well enough to be sure, but he hoped that the arrow wouldn’t leave to much of a scar.

 

ooc: lol I said arrow a lot in that one. Sorry that this one took so long. Stupid RL *beats his RL with a stick*

 

**end**

 

ooc: wow, this was harder than I thought, all of the copy and paste, and it doesn't pick up the italics, so you have to go through and put them back in italics... dern.

[Guest Faile1987]

“You killed ten men.†It was not a question, it was not an accusation, it was simply said. “Then you killed your mother,â€

 

Ged´s chest heaved once as he took a deep breath at Noy´s tone, which sounded almost too matter-of-factly that Ged already wondered if the Amadician really had understood what he had just told him. Still Ged knew it would seep in and when Noy´s tone suddenly got angrier and more accusing Ged knew the other man had understood it all too well and now was going to give him his opinion about it.

Sitting there defeated and awaiting whatever the other man was going to to now, Ged didn´t shrink back as Noy suddenly jabbed and accusing finger on his chest said:

 

“What are you going to do about it? Are you going to commit suicide? Throw away your life like it means nothing, just like that? Do you honestly think that it will change anything, your death? Will, it bring your mother back? Will it bring those men back? Will it bring back the Inn, and the others you hurt? You ended eleven lives, possibly more, and ruined the lives of many people in your town. How can you atone for it, will killing yourself make their lives any better? Is it really about that, or are you just being selfish and trying to take the easy way out? You can help them, and atone for what you have done, but instead you give up and practically ask us to kill you. What are you going to do?â€

 

Despite he was somehow prepared to what would be coming, Noy´s statement and accusation still hit Ged like a kick in the stomach.

For one moment he just sat there staring blankly at Noy and shook his head in disbelief letting what he had just said seep in and let his mind work on it.

 

Suddenly Ged laughed.

He didn´t know why nor how he did manage to laugh at that, the same time feeling as if to cry his soul out right now.

Still what Noy had just said made him laugh. A cynical bitter laugh it was, full of loath and for a moment Ged was thinking that he was already going mad right now. It took him quite a while to be able to speak again and to think straight, realizing the full extend of what Noy had just said. How right he was.

 

His laughter cut off abruptly and his green eyes looked up, staring right into Noy´s dark ones as he finally was able to speak, all desperation suddenly vanished from his voice. He was speaking calmly, as matter-of-factly as Noy had before.

 

"I am not going to kill myself", Ged said dryly, "You are right, this would be too easy by far. Just tell me another way how to live my life without those images and those faces of those I did kill always haunting me in my sleep and even when I am awake? I can not say that this is the easy way to deal with it, but for one thing you are right, I will not change anything by just sitting here weeping like a child. I am sorry to have bothered you with my problems and ruined your meal. I know that I will never find anyone I will be able to call a friend in here, but I am here to learn and I will find a way to use this curse for something good one day. In fact that is the only reason why I did not decide to kill myself long since.

I do not expect you will understand me, whatever lies in your past...you seemed to have been able to somehow cope with it in a better way than I have. I congratulate you on that and I will go now as not to bother you any further. Enjoy your meal and have a nice day, it was good to meet you after all."

 

Ged pushed back his chair and rose about to leave his company on their own for now.

[jasonr]

Noy was gazing down at Ged, who was looking very speechless at the moment. Then suddenly he burst out into laughter. Noy was a little shocked, of all the responses he had considered laughter was not among them. The laugh was very cynical and full of misery. Noy thought that Ged might be seriously considering suicide right now, for the laugh was full of hatred. Suddenly as it had started, the laughter came to a halt. Ged’s green eyes met Noy’s brown ones. He hoped his worry wasn’t showing in his eyes, he was worried about what Ged would do. "I am not going to kill myself" It was a dry tone, one that held misery. "You are right, this would be too easy by far. Just tell me another way how to live my life without those images and those faces of those I did kill always haunting me in my sleep and even when I am awake? I cannot say that this is the easy way to deal with it, but for one thing you are right, I will not change anything by just sitting here weeping like a child. I am sorry to have bothered you with my problems and ruined your meal. I know that I will never find anyone I will be able to call a friend in here, but I am here to learn and I will find a way to use this curse for something good one day. In fact that is the only reason why I did not decide to kill myself long since. I do not expect you will understand me, whatever lies in your past...you seemed to have been able to somehow cope with it in a better way than I have. I congratulate you on that and I will go now as not to bother you any further. Enjoy your meal and have a nice day, it was good to meet you after all."

 

Rage swept through Noy, not anger, but pure rage. The man was a fool a bloody goat-kissing fool. He thought he was so special, that he was the only one who was struggling. Ged was to hair-brained stupid to ask anyone for help, and to bloody one-sided to accept anything other than guilt. Ged pushed back his chair and stood. Noy’s hand grabbed Ged’s arm shaking with rage. To the Pit of Doom with half-truths made to comfort Ged and bring him around to Noy’s side of thinking, it was time to be blunt. Noy did not know why he was so mad, after all he did not expect Ged to change with one speech, it would take time; to the Pit of Doom with time. He yanked Ged back into his chair. “Ged, you say that you will never find a friend, but you know what I think? I think that you are trying to run from anyone who suggests friendship so you can shield yourself from the hate they are just so sure to feel for you. Maybe if you just stopped being so blind and stopped running from your problems, you would be able to move on. You say you are trying to change, but you are still being a fool. You think you are the only one who has a problem they can’t deal with. You say that I can deal with it so much better than you can. Do you know why I can deal with it? It’s because I had help, Ged. I didn’t just wake up one day and suddenly feel like I could move on, I had help from people.†Noy was panting, he had not raised his voice once, but he was still panting from anger and annoyance.

 

“I had a lot of help, and I am not all better, it still eats me up every time I think of my past. What makes you so certain that I hate you, that I will turn away from you and be angry with you? I am angry, yes, but it’s not because of what you did. It’s because of the bloody flaming fool that you are being now.†Noy was sure that his eyes were conveying his rage at the moment. “Do you want to know how to get the faces to stop haunting you? Are you ready to do anything to make up for what you have done? Well, the only way to stop the haunting is to make up for it. Do enough good that you can make up for what you did. It won’t be easy, and you can never erase the guilt of the lives you took, but if you do enough good, you will always know that you are a good person, and that the mistakes you made in the past were in fact mistakes. Eventually you will learn that you cannot dwell over all of your mistakes that you made before. The past is the past, and the future is the future, but now is the present. Don’t stay in the past; you have to move to the future. It may take long, or it may not, but to heal, you have to realize it, and really realize it.â€

 

Noy had already said that speech to himself a thousand times. With the help of his mentor, he had been able to realize the truth in the words. He had also realized that time never heals anything, but it does help to dull the pain. With his anger faded, it was time to see if anything he said had hit home with Ged. Noy released Ged’s arm, now there was not much else that Noy could do for Ged. He had the choice of accepting what Noy had said, or he could leave, and stay miserable. If he left, there was nothing else Noy could do to help him. If he stayed, they could both move on. Noy could only hope and prey to the Light that Ged listened and understood what Noy was trying to say.

 

ooc: you don’t have to accept it, you could leave and we could still be friends, you would just still be miserable. :D Don’t worry about character development stuff, I won’t try to change Ged in this thread, or for a while, but this is kinda like, getting on the right path sorta thing.

[Guest Faile1987]

“Ged, you say that you will never find a friend, but you know what I think? I think that you are trying to run from anyone who suggests friendship so you can shield yourself from the hate they are just so sure to feel for you. Maybe if you just stopped being so blind and stopped running from your problems, you would be able to move on. You say you are trying to change, but you are still being a fool. You think you are the only one who has a problem they can’t deal with. You say that I can deal with it so much better than you can. Do you know why I can deal with it? It’s because I had help, Ged. I didn’t just wake up one day and suddenly feel like I could move on, I had help from people.†Noy was panting, he had not raised his voice once, but he was still panting from anger and annoyance.

 

“I had a lot of help, and I am not all better, it still eats me up every time I think of my past. What makes you so certain that I hate you, that I will turn away from you and be angry with you? I am angry, yes, but it’s not because of what you did. It’s because of the bloody flaming fool that you are being now. Do you want to know how to get the faces to stop haunting you? Are you ready to do anything to make up for what you have done? Well, the only way to stop the haunting is to make up for it. Do enough good that you can make up for what you did. It won’t be easy, and you can never erase the guilt of the lives you took, but if you do enough good, you will always know that you are a good person, and that the mistakes you made in the past were in fact mistakes. Eventually you will learn that you cannot dwell over all of your mistakes that you made before. The past is the past, and the future is the future, but now is the present. Don’t stay in the past; you have to move to the future. It may take long, or it may not, but to heal, you have to realize it, and really realize it.â€

 

When Noy suddenly cut off and let go of his shoulders Ged at first only stared at the Amadician openly, for now unsure what to make of what Noy had just said to him, what he had just accused him of, by still giving Ged the impression that he genuinely wanted to help him.

But there was more: Ged somehow knew that Noy was sharing a similiar pain with him and although Ged would never have thought it possible, the other man didn´t seem to loathe him for what he did. Not as much as Ged had feared that was.

 

Light, how can he still look me in the eyes after having heard all of what I have done? How can he have offered to help me after what I just told him?, Ged wondered and for an instant he wondered whaat it was what must have caused the pain Ged saw in Noy´s eyes when he asked him about his past.

That is of no account now!, he told himself angrily, after all he wouldn´t have talked about his past himself if it hadn´t overcome him so suddenly, Ged knew.

Still what had been done couldn´t be undone and despite his desperation, Ged also felt that Noy was right.

 

Remembering the angry stare the Amadician had given him still sent a shiver rolling down his spine, yet it hadn´t been caused by what Ged had feared it would. He really seemed only be angry with Ged because he had been so apparently indulging in his self-pity and grinding his teeth Ged felt a wave of self-reproach and a feeling of deep loathing pass through him. Exposing that much pity for himself really had never been his way and now didn´t seem to be the time to start with it.

 

Deep inside himself Ged knew what he had felt all the time since that fateful night in Baerleon, a feeling that Noy had just confirmed in the course of his speech: he would have to make good for the evil he had done eventually and remembering the oath he had sworn over his mothers grave, Ged´s eyes narrowed and tightened as he realized the full extend of his own foolishness.

 

He had been so absorbed in his own problems that he had nearly forgotten, why he had come to the Black Tower all the way, what it was that had made him survive that consuming fever he had suffered from after having channelled for the first time, what had kept him from killing himself right after burying his mother, what had made him flee Baerleon and the men searching for him: He wanted to live! He wanted to make good for the evil he had done or at least try his best to manage it.

 

Even if he wouldn´t succeed to forget the evil he had done and the faces of the men he had killed and his own mothers didn´t stop haunting him, Ged knew he would try his best to pay back at least a small part of what he owed. After all he wasn´t the only one who had gone to the Black Tower trying to cut off everything bonding him to his past and looking into Noy´s deep dark eyes told him the man was trying to run from similiar demons of his past that kept on haunting him.

The sad and angry expression in Noy´s face told Ged that the man perfectly knew what he was speaking of and that he seemed to feel a similiar remorse for not being able to overcome what happened in his past.

Yet thinking of it Ged decided that maybe it was impossible to rid himself of the memory only because he needed it to find a new purpose in his life: after all he had gone here to learn and he would do his best to dedicate his life to doing good and if the Wheel decided he should fail, burn himself out in training or just get killed right off, so be it. After all he would be able to say that he had tried.

 

Realizing that, Ged´s face suddenly brightened up with the same rate as the images of his past seemed to fade to merely a dull constant ache inside his mind. Still Ged knew he had to live with it as long as it lasted and he would.

 

Noticing that he had been sitting for quite a while staring at Noy totally immobile, Ged suddenly brought his eyes back to focus and suddenly he felt complettely calm and composed again as he nodded to Noy and took a deep breath before speaking: "Yes....manybe you are right. I´m sorry for forgetting myself like that."

 

Ged paused and watched the Amadician and suddenly the hope struck him that maybe he would be able to find a friend after all if he only tried enough. After all Noy hadn´t killed him on the spot or had turned away from him in disgust after hearing what he had done.

Yes, maybe there was still a kind of hope in Ged´s life and somehow he felt somehow linked with Noy in some aspect: somehow they seemed to share a similiar pain and although Ged felt Noy didn´t want to speak about it either, maybe there would be a way for both of them to deal with it by working together. A start after all.

 

"You are right by saying that I have to work for it if I want to have the pain go away and even if I don´t know and don´t really believe I´ll succeed in that, I will try. Thank you for reminding me of that and giving me that shake-off", Ged said, his gaunt, haunted-looking smile suddenly brightening in a friendly smile that even touched his usually hollow and sad eyes and made him look alive again and that was what he was after all. Alive.

 

Care for the living, suddenly shot through his mind and although Ged didn´t know why he thought of that line all of a sudden, he still realized the truth of it. He would try his best to live by that motto after all and he hoped he wouldn´t have to face whatever was to come on his own.

 

Grinning suddenly he extended a hand to Noy offering him his friendship and hoping that the other man would accept it after all.

 

OOC: Ok, Ged will still be a kind of depressive and psychotic man, but I guess he´ll at least try to pull himself together now after that mental shake-off he received ;)

[jasonr]

ooc: I finished posting TWICE then the stupid labtop messed up and deleted it. No Word on this labtop so excuse any spelling errors. This will be a short one due to the fact that I am pissed off.

 

IC: Noy gazed down at Ged and grew happy when he heard Ged's responce. "Yes....manybe you are right. I´m sorry for forgetting myself like that." Noy felt his serios face turn into a grin and listened happily as Ged also said, "You are right by saying that I have to work for it if I want to have the pain go away and even if I don´t know and don´t really believe I´ll succeed in that, I will try. Thank you for reminding me of that and giving me that shake-off" Noy laughed and clasped Ged's hand.

 

"We are at a loss of what to do now. We are done with our meals and dealt with what we needed to deal with." Noy's grin slid off when he thought of what to do. "I suppose fair is fair, I told you about Amadicia but you obviosly have no idea the signifigance of it. Amadicia is the land of the White Cloaks. We think what they tell us to think and the country is firmly in their grasp. We are raised to hate Aes' Sedai and to kill them on sight."

 

Noy changed his voice to pure sarcasm. "The One Power is not fit to be used by any mortal. The Breaking only occured because we were punished by the Creator because we were not fit to weild His Power." Noy sighed, "I suppose you can't immagine why we beleive it, but it's hard to just ignore everything you have been raised by. The White Cloaks only allow one influence and proudly stop us from beleiving anything else."

 

Noy smiled, "I asked you what you wanted to do then spouted out more words." His smile transformed into a grin, "So what do you want to do?"

 

ooc: Lacks insperation, but I didn't know what to do. You can do what ever, even NPC Noy a little. If you do NPC Noy, try not to NPC any conversations. :D

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: No worries, Jason, I kind of know that feeling very well :D happened with my more than 2000 words post for that basic manipulations class – Horror!!! Anyways, I´m just sitting on my very own brand-new laptop : D and hope that inspiration will hit me :D

 

IC:Ged didn´t even try to hide his relief as Noy clasped his hand in welcome and grinned at him friendly. After all the Amadician knew of him now and given his reaction on what Ged had revealed to him about his past, he wasn´t sure what he had done if Noy had refused his apparent offer of friendship and had told him to get on with what ever he intended to do as

long as he left him alone.

As it was, the unfamiliar smile on his face even grew and his green eyes shone of relief and somehow Ged even felt some small shade of happiness growing inside him – a feeling he wouldn´t have thought himself to be capable of feeling ever again after he left Baerleon . But right now he thought the feeling that cheered him up again was something different from happiness anyway: it was a seed of hope planted inside him and he intended to try his best to let it grow to a huge tree to find shade and reassurance under even if he knew he had planted that sapling on burned ground. He would try after all and was glad not to have to make this way on his own.

 

After all Ged had never been the lonely kind of child and youth anyway. Despite having lived the major part of his life on the small tabac farm of his parents, he had always enjoyed accompanying his father to his weekly tours to Baerleon where he met his friends and enjoyed their company in their children´s games and youth pranks or stalking after one or the other girl even.

Yet Ged had already forgotten how much he had missed the company of his friends from him former life – the company of someone to talk to in general – on his lonesome journey to the Black Tower as he had tried not to let the fever burning inside him consume him or go insane pondering inside his own bleakness and nightmares.

Thus he couldn´t yet fathom his own luck in seemingly having found a new friend in Noy against all odds and Ged didn´t even notice that he was still smiling faintly, his eyes focused on something far distant, as Noy started to talk again:

 

"We are at a loss of what to do now. We are done with our meals and dealt with what we needed to deal with." Noy's grin slid off when he thought of what to do. "I suppose fair is fair, I told you about Amadicia but you obviosly have no idea the signifigance of it. Amadicia is the land of the White Cloaks. We think what they tell us to think and the country is firmly in their grasp. We are raised to hate Aes' Sedai and to kill them on sight."

 

Noy changed his voice to pure sarcasm. "The One Power is not fit to be used by any mortal. The Breaking only occured because we were punished by the Creator because we were not fit to weild His Power." Noy sighed, "I suppose you can't immagine why we beleive it, but it's hard to just ignore everything you have been raised by. The White Cloaks only allow one influence and proudly stop us from beleiving anything else."

 

Noy smiled, "I asked you what you wanted to do then spouted out more words." His smile transformed into a grin, "So what do you want to do?"

 

Suddenly brought back to the here and now by Noy´s speech, Ged pondered what he had just said for a moment, his thoughts spinning around what Noy had jus told him about the Whitecloaks condemning the One Power used by humans as blasphemy. Ged clearly noticed the pain in Noy´s eyes as he spoke about his home country and a quick glance into Brand´s dark –completely black – eyes told him that he wasn´t mistaken at all that there still was something more beyond what Noy had just told him. But recalling how hard it had been for hiimself to have to talk about his past, Ged fought back the first question occuring his mind as he didn’t want to hurt Noy any more than speaking about his past already did and asked with a level voice: “You said the Whitecloaks told you how to think about the One Power and that all people in your land believe that way, but do you yourself as well? I mean, it sounds more than weird to me, a Soldier of the Black Tower speaking about the One Power in human hands being jesting and denying of the Creator…Surely you must have changed your opinion about that or why are you still here then?â€

 

Ged had tried to keep his voice even and at a level trying to conceal his puzzlement about Noy´s strange-sounding homecountry, still he couldn´t keep curiosity out of his tone and knew Noy must notice it, too. But as it was, Ged had told him about himself and Noy hadn´t condemned him for what he did, so Ged thought he couldn´t condemn Noy for what he thought in return. No, of course he wouldn´t even though he had neve thought of the One Poer in a religious way as Noy apparently did.

 

OOC: Ok, I hope I didn´t NPC ANY conversations (to tell the truth, I don´t even know what NPC stands for….sorry….my German seems to hinder me a trifle after all…;) ) Anyway I tried to make the best out of it and I hope your laptop won´t crush your reply again ;)

[jasonr]

ooc: NPC means non player character, to NPC someone is to take control of their character. No more problems with the labtop because I am home now, hurray! :D

 

IC: Noy was surprised by Ged’s question, he had not expected more questions about Amadicia. He knew they would come eventually but not so soon. “You said the Whitecloaks told you how to think about the One Power and that all people in your land believe that way, but do you yourself as well? I mean, it sounds more than weird to me, a Soldier of the Black Tower speaking about the One Power in human hands being jesting and denying of the Creator…Surely you must have changed your opinion about that or why are you still here then?†Ged said. Noy could hear the curiosity in Ged’s voice although Ged tried to hide it. Noy smiled, to his surprise. He had not expected the question and decided that to understand, perhaps Ged would have to know a little more about himself.

 

“You have a miserable past full of pain and suffering, but it was still your choice to come here.†Noy had a distant look and was hiding his raging emotions bottled up inside of him. Noy felt many things and pain was only one of the many. “I did not. I was dragged through a Gateway on flows of Air, and it was not because of anything I had done. To answer your question, no, I do not believe in that stupidity, but I used to hate the Power with a passion. My entire life and everything I believed was turned on head. Still, that was the past, and like I said, I no longer believe in the White Cloak's… teachings.†Noy closed his eyes and turned his head to the ceiling. He grasped the Void and once he was sure that he had his emotions firmly under control, Noy continued. “Even if I did still believe that, do you really think they would just let me go. If we keep women captive why let a valuable weapon out of our grasp?â€

 

With a start, Noy realized how this all must sound to Ged. “Everything I said is true, but I don’t want to go, I don’t believe in the White Cloaks beliefs. Besides, I could never go home now, and I would never want to go there again.â€

 

ooc: hmmm, don’t know what else to say. Perhaps some reassurances, or whatever… I’ll think about what to do next more in-depth… sometime. :D

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: Thanks for helping me with that :D

 

IC: Ged watched Noy intently as he was suddenly confronted with his question of his homecountry. He didn´t intend to hurt Noy further by poking him about his past yet the man´s country seemed to Ged like a great mystery and he was curious to learn more about where Noy came from which he hoped would enable him to understand the Amadician´s way of thinking a little better. But when Noy finally began to speak Ged´s confusion even grew at first.

 

“You have a miserable past full of pain and suffering, but it was still your choice to come here.†Noy had a distant look and was hiding his raging emotions bottled up inside of him. Noy felt many things and pain was only one of the many. “I did not. I was dragged through a Gateway on flows of Air, and it was not because of anything I had done. To answer your question, no, I do not believe in that stupidity, but I used to hate the Power with a passion. My entire life and everything I believed was turned on head. Still, that was the past, and like I said, I no longer believe in the White Cloak's… teachings.â€

 

Pondering what Noy had just told him about the way he had come to the Black Tower, Ged was somewhat taken aback at first on hearing that Noy apparently had been made to come here without regarding his persomal will. Still Ged also was aware that as far as the One Power was concerned the thing that probably was of least account was your own free will. Following his own will, Ged would have gladly lived on his unspectacular life as a farmboy without ever having gotten in touch with anything linked to the One Power. Only a madman would prefer a life of fear, pain and insanity to that of quiet, shelter and security and even though Ged ruefully recalled the days he and his friends had dreamed about having adventures like Jain Farstrider, he now was aware of the true meaning of “adventureâ€: danger, pain and all the time you were frightened to death. Nothing of the glory they had dreamed of as boys remained once you had been dragged back to reality.

 

Before Ged had the time to tell Noy of his thoughts considering his “free choice†to come to the Black Tower or express his relief that Noy apparently had left the old beliefs of his homecountry behind, he continued to speak and though his voice didn´t shake as much as it had before, Ged didn´t know if he actually preferred the cynism and resignation he sensed now in what Noy said next.

 

“Even if I did still believe that, do you really think they would just let me go. If we keep women captive why let a valuable weapon out of our grasp?â€

 

Startled about this statement Ged was already up to tell Noy that surely they were free to go whereever they wanted, but somehow a voice inside his mind poked him asking what he thought would happen should one of them actually try to just leave. “Maybe we´d be dead before even leaving the Training Groundsâ€, Ged murmured under his breath unconscious of really having spoken this thought aloud. Yet he knew how true it was and cursed himself once more for his own naivity.

 

“Everything I said is true, but I don’t want to go, I don’t believe in the White Cloaks beliefs. Besides, I could never go home now, and I would never want to go there again.â€

 

Ged nodded slowly and let out a breath he hadn´t even realized he had been holding. “I guess in that matter you´re rightâ€, he said, determination and a trifle of resignation audible in his voice.

“Although I had been convinced I would hate everything linked to the One Power because it would remind me of what I have done, I somehow even like working with it a lot and although I only came here because I had no other choice and nowhere else to go, I hope to be able to do something good with the One Power one day. Even though it is tainted by the Dark One, I can´t deny loving the flow of Saidin going through me. I….I just feel so much more alive when I´m in touch with it and for a moment I sometimes even forge what happened on my first channelling. There must be some way to use this curse to be damned with the Power and the certainty to go eventuallly mad for something good, don´t you think so, too?â€

 

Only now Ged realized how much in fact he ached for touching Saidin and even the struggle agains the overwhelming taint and the nausea and dizziness it caused, seemed to be a welcome reminder of the fact that he still was alive. His green eyes staring into Noy´s dark ones intently, Ged waited for the other man to respond and tried to supress his own longing to seize Saidin on the spot. All of a sudden the Power inside him seemed to want to take over and make him comply to its demands. Yet Ged knew that he mustn´t give in now since he wouldn´t know how the consequences would turn out if he lost control over himself.

 

OOC: Sorry for filling it up with all of that, I just felt like going a little deeper into the fact how both Noy and Ged deal with the seductive influence of Saidin.

[jasonr]

ooc: no problem, I am looking forward to getting into that, and I am assuming that the last bit of your monologue in italics was said aloud and by Ged.

 

IC: “Although I had been convinced I would hate everything linked to the One Power because it would remind me of what I have done, I somehow even like working with it a lot and although I only came here because I had no other choice and nowhere else to go, I hope to be able to do something good with the One Power one day. Even though it is tainted by the Dark One, I can’t deny loving the flow of Saidin going through me. I….I just feel so much more alive when I’m in touch with it and for a moment I sometimes even forge what happened on my first channeling. There must be some way to use this curse to be damned with the Power and the certainty to go eventually mad for something good, don’t you think so, too?â€

 

For a while, Noy had no idea what to say to Ged. It seemed that the man needed reassurances that there was good in using Saidin, that he was able to still do good. “Ged… There is so much we can do with the Power, Heal someone even when death seems to be inevitable, turn aside an earthquake, or a huge storm. There is so much good we can do with the Power and learning how to use it is the only way to access the good that we can do. We should always remember one thing though, we aren’t evil because we use the One Power, with it we can perform miracles. The Taint is evil, the Taint damns us, but the One Power is a gift, a blessing, and if we use it right, then we can help countless people. The Last Battle is coming, and we will be there with the Dragon Reborn to save everyone.†Light, how long ago had he thought the Dragon was evil, that the Power was evil? A month ago had someone told him this, he would have spat in their face. Noy had no idea where the words came from, they just came out of his mouth of their own bidding.

 

“Ged, no one here can deny loving the flow of the Power coursing through them. There is so much good that we can do, we have to find it first.†Light, what good could he do that could possibly make up for the bad that he had done to his family. There was always hope though, he had already gone through these words before, Noy knew the truth in the words. He had to believe they were true else they would do no good at all. There was good that they could do, he could make up for the bad things he had done. Noy would be there for the Last Battle, he would be there to fight the Dark One and to help save the world. Maybe after all the dust had settled, and the Last Battle had been won, they could be accepted back into their homes, and be able to help people more than they had. Maybe there was a way to even cleanse the Taint. A tear welled up in his eye; there was a way to be good again.

 

ooc: ahhhhh, I can’t do any big posts!!! In case you didn’t get it from the couple of posts regarding Noy’s idea of the Source, he feels that they can make up for it, and that the Power is not evil, the Dark One is evil and because of that the Taint is evil yada yada yada, and that they can make up for all the bad stuff about Saidin, ext. ext. :D

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: Ok, now my turn to have to write a post thrice...hope it won´t crack up again...I´m just having my new lappy in my room and it´s still a little unfamiliar, but I´m very relaxed anyway:D and don´t worry about your posts, they´re just fine and that´s just me (sorry for my long-windedness I mean...;))

 

IC: Ged suddenly felt himsel quiver with desire to just let go of himself and surrender to the temptations of Saidin, the flow and the taint tugging at him. Still he wouldn´t give in to it though despite how much he had to struggle against his own desires, his knowledge about what happened if he would handle Saidin without having control over it being to only thing that stopped him though.

Thus Ged was more than glad when Noy started to speak again distracting his mind from the urge to give in to Saidin at least momentarily...

 

“Ged… There is so much we can do with the Power, Heal someone even when death seems to be inevitable, turn aside an earthquake, or a huge storm. There is so much good we can do with the Power and learning how to use it is the only way to access the good that we can do. We should always remember one thing though, we aren’t evil because we use the One Power, with it we can perform miracles. The Taint is evil, the Taint damns us, but the One Power is a gift, a blessing, and if we use it right, then we can help countless people. The Last Battle is coming, and we will be there with the Dragon Reborn to save everyone.â€

 

Ged let out a deep breath and nodded slowly to what Noy had just told him about his own interpretation of their ability to channel the One Power. Also he just felt utterly reassured by Noy´s confirmation of what he himself was thinking about the One Power. After all Ged realized that he still wasn´t alone at all and he enjoyed it very much to know that there were men around him sharing the same fate and somehow that soothed his soul considerably.

 

Yet there was one thing he couldn´t find himself able to agree with Noy. He just couldn´t aknowledge his ability to channel as a gift rather than a curse as Noy explained it to him. Even though he wanted to believe the Amadician in so far, Ged still couldn´t forget that it had been for Saidin showing up that he had lost all he had been holding dear in life and despite the joy the flow of Saidin inside him caused at times, it still was mingled with the constant painful reminder of his past and Ged knew he would never get rid of that feeling stabbing him whenever he touched the Source.

 

“Ged, no one here can deny loving the flow of the Power coursing through them. There is so much good that we can do, we have to find it first.â€

 

Ged nodded slowly and inclined his head in contemplation of what Noy had just said. Indeed he could feel the other man longing as much to make up for what he had done in his past as Ged himself did and looking up into Noy´s face again, the tear he noticed rolling down his cheeks only affirmed that impression.

Ged swallowed once and wet his lips to work moisture back into his suddenly dry mouth before he could find himself able to speak again.

 

"You are right Noy, we have to find a way to make good for the evil we did and I´m sure we will somehow. Even if we all will die in the Last Battle this will be our fate and at least we can say we did dedicate our lives to a worthy cause...", Ged trailed off, thoughts about the Last Battle suddenly filling his mind.

 

If I am doomed to go insane and die at least I´ll die taking as many of the Shadowspawn with me as I possibly can, he thought, determination suddenly uncoiling inside him, even though he shuddered involuntarily at the mere thought of having to face the Last Battle soon.

 

Light, I am a bloody farmboy and don´t feel like a Soldier at all..., Ged mused then shook his head to dismiss that foolish Soldier now, that was the only purpose in his new life now if he wanted to or now...

 

"We are to be made into weapons...killing machines... men whose only purpose is to kill...",Ged murmured absently unaware that he had spoken this thought aloud. "do you think it´s coming soon...the last battle I mean?", he finaly asked Noy inquiringly the mere thought of it making his stomach queasy. Still what had to be done had to be done...

 

OOC: sorry, one of my longer ones again, but finaly I succeeded after all...;)

[jasonr]

ooc: dis be a short one due to lack of time. Forgive any spelling mistakes, I'm to lazy to open up Word. :D

 

IC: "We are to be made into weapons...killing machines... men whose only purpose is to kill..."Ged murmered this and Noy was not sure whether he knew that he was speaking aloud. "Do you think it´s coming soon...the last battle I mean?" Noy studied him for a moment and collected his thoughts then he spoke.

 

"Ged, I don't know much about the Last Battle. Owning a copy of the Prophesies of the Dragon, or even knowing them, can get you killed in Amadicia. The only thing I do know is that the Dragon being reborn is a sure sign of the Last Battle." Noy turned his head to the ceiling as though asking for divine help. He knew that nothing of the sort would happen and once Noy was ready, he turned and faced Ged again.

 

"I don't know if we have 10 years, or 2, or even days or months, but I do know that we have to win it, we channelers are the only ones who can really help in the Battle. The Dark One cannot win." Noy didn't know much about the Prophesies, or the Dragon, but he did know enough to be sure that the Dark One could not win, he just could not.

 

ooc: dun worry about your posts, I like big posts.

[Guest Faile1987]

"Ged, I don't know much about the Last Battle. Owning a copy of the Prophesies of the Dragon, or even knowing them, can get you killed in Amadicia. The only thing I do know is that the Dragon being reborn is a sure sign of the Last Battle."

 

Ged inclined his head silently in assent on Noy´s words as he had only spoken out aloud what he had been thinking about it himself. After all that was their prior purpose: being turned into weapons for the Last Battle and kept from going mad only long enough to try and help to prevent the Dark One coverin the World in shadow.

 

Letting out a sigh of resignation, Ged clenched his teeth and silently accepted whatever he might have to face once the Last Battle would come. At least he would try his best to do as much good with Saidin as he managed before he would die in Tarmon Gai´don taking as many Shadowspawn with him as he possibly managed.

All in all, not a bad plan, he thought sarcastically, Now let´s only hope it will work according to plan and you won´t go insane or die some foolish indignified way before.

Ged chuckled faintly at that thought. After all Ged knew he was the last one who could be able to determine when his time would come, yet he hoped it would still be a while untill he would have to face the Creator.

 

"I don't know if we have 10 years, or 2, or even days or months, but I do know that we have to win it, we channelers are the only ones who can really help in the Battle. The Dark One cannot win."

 

"I hope you´re right in that aspect", Ged said truthfully trying to make his voice optimistical but somehow failing slightly at it and for once again cursing his own pessimism. But Light! he wanted the Dark One to lose as much as Noy did and he would do his best to procceed as fast and far as possible to be of use to the side of the Light in the Last Battle, no matter what would happen to him.

 

Though suddenly another thought occured his mind, somdhing he had been pondering about for himself without having a solution yet and although he wasn´t sure about how Noy would react to this, Ged just heard him speak aloud what he had been thinking.

 

"But don´t you want to go back to Amadicia...to your home and family before the Last Battle will come upon us? Surely you must miss your family and friends greatly having been taken from them against your will....Don´t you think they would forgive you for whatever they have believed of you after you explained it all?", Ged bit his lip, realizing that he finally had just blurted out what he had been thinking and hoped Noy would forgive him for this direct approach to such a sensible matter.

After all Ged wished he still had a family to go back to before he would face whatever he might have to face in the Last Battle. In fact he ached to have a chance to apologize and to once again hug his mother telling her what had happened. But what was done was done and he only could wish for Noy to find at least a little peace of mind some time.

 

OOC: Ok, actually this was supposed to turn out to be a rather short post as well, but then it occured to me how to let it go on (sorry for pondering again on that sore spot) and I hope this will go on a little still (and I´m glad not to have to worry over being long-winded with you overmuch ;) )

[jasonr]

ooc: mwhahahahahahahahaha! Jason wins again, Noy is going down!!!! Misery and pain, coming right up. :twisted:

 

IC: Noy was a little irritated at Ged’s obvious pessimism. He was about to speak when Ged talked again. "But don’t you want to go back to Amadicia...to your home and family before the Last Battle will come upon us? Surely you must miss your family and friends greatly having been taken from them against your will....Don’t you think they would forgive you for whatever they have believed of you after you explained it all?" Noy’s mouth stopped in mid-word. What in the world had given Ged the idea to ask that one question? Any other question, about Amadicia, about who he was, anything but his family, anything but to remind him of what he had done to Mara. Noy snapped his mouth shut, and tilted his head up towards the ceiling. He couldn’t bear to see anyone now. He took in a few deep breaths and tried to think of what to say. How could he possibly answer that question, how could he explain it to Ged? Memory flooded into him, memories Noy had tried to suppress. Memories of his wedding, memories of his parents, of sitting awake at nights lying with Mara while they whispered softly, arguing passively over what they would name their child. Imagined visions of the future, the future of his child, what they would do together, the love he would feel for it.

 

When Noy finally opened his mouth, his voice was hoarse and rough. “I miss my family more that you could ever imagine, but I will never want to go back there. I couldn’t face what would do, the pain I would inflict on them by trying to explain what I accept. She could never accept me, it would crush her. Light, how could Mara…†Noy clicked his mouth shut, he had already said too much. He couldn’t stop the flood of emotions and memories that were crashing down on him, everything he had tried to suppress before, everything he thought he had taken care of was eating at him. Noy laid his head down on his arm, which was resting on the table and trembled. No tears escaped though, he was right about one thing, he had cried all of his tears. There were no tears left in Noy anymore.

 

ooc: hahahahahahahahahahahaha Everything a post needs: pain, suffering, (and tiny :() woohoo!

[Guest Faile1987]

Ged could have hit himself in the face when he realized what his question had just caused as he looked at Noy who had suddenly gone pale as if all colour was drained out of his face and his eyes suddenly assumed a distant look, as if he was somewhere else right now, seeing things only he could see and somehow his gaze seemed to pierce right through Ged.

 

He cursed himself once more for his tongue being faster than his brain and all of a sudden he wished for Noy to scream at him, cry, do anything, but keep up this hollow eyed stare that only spoke of emptiness and desperation, which Ged found almost unable to bear and he was nearly glad when Noy´s gaze finally shifted to the ceiling as though praying for the Creator´s help and finally his hoarse voice quit the silence that had been between them before.

 

“I miss my family more that you could ever imagine, but I will never want to go back there. I couldn’t face what would do, the pain I would inflict on them by trying to explain what I accept. She could never accept me, it would crush her. Light, how could Mara…â€

 

Ged glanced at Noy in sympathy as his voice shook and nearly became inaudible as he spoke of his family and suddenly he cut off when he mentioned what Ged figured out must have been the name of his wife.

 

Ged swallowed despite the dryness suddenly in his mouth and wanted to say something, only that he suddenly was at a lack of words and only remained standing helplessly as Noy wouldn´t speak no more but buried his face in his arms enfolded on the table and shook uncontrollably.

 

Ged wet his lips, but still words wouldn´t come. Too well he felt the hollowness which seemed to have taken over inside Noy which was mirroring the status of his own soul all too clearly.

 

Oh Light, I´m sorry, Ged thought feeling bad about having inflicted that much pain on his friend which a thoughtless question. After all he knew how hard it was to deal with one´s past and he hadn´t meant that to happen at all.

 

"I´m sorry, Noy", he wispered softly, his hand resting on the other man´s shoulder as he still shook. "I didn´t want to remind you of what is past. But didn´t you say...let the past lie and the present get in focus? We simply have to accept that what is done is done and we won´t be able to change it. But there still is hope. There still is. There must be."

 

Ged´s last words hadn´t been more than a toneless fervent wisper and he didn´t know if he really had spoken aloud or it had been just a fervent wish in his mind. A dream and a faint notion of hope, which he wondered if he was worthy to deserve after all.

 

If I truly find a way to survive the last battle, do I deserve to?, he wondered bleakly. The thought had come to him quite unconsciously, yet it was there and he wasn´t sure at all if dying in the Last Battle wouldn´t be the best for them after all...

 

OOC: Right! Pain, misery and depression with suicidal thoughts! Aren´t we good? lol

[jasonr]

ooc: oh ya! so good! *high fives Faile* :D Oh dear, the comforting has switched characters. :D That was fast.

 

IC: "I´m sorry, Noy", Ged wispered softly, "I didn´t want to remind you of what is past. But didn´t you say...let the past lie and the present get in focus? We simply have to accept that what is done is done and we won´t be able to change it. But there still is hope. There still is. There must be."

 

Noy raised his head slowly, he was ready to return to reality. Noy smiled, it was a faint, grim smile; barely the corners of his mouth upturned. "Let the past lie, the present and future is what we have to worry about now. Hope. What a misrable word, but we still have to keep hope, yes."

 

Noy stared off into the distance, maybe... yes just maybe, maybe after the Last Battle he would be able to go back to Mara, go back and appologise. Go back and watch his son or daughter grow up. To help them grow up and to watch as they laugh, and cry, and make mistakes and fix them. How Noy longed to just return to his wife and child, to smile with them, to look at them from across the dinner table. Light, he wanted so much, but he couldn't have any of it, not now, at least.

 

 

"We will win the Last Battle, there is no other option." Noy's voice had taken on a determined tone and he was willing to tackle any task to get his life and his family back.

 

ooc: not enough pain and misery, too much hope and happyness :D I gotta work on that. :D

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: yeah, you´re right, we do have to work on that, though I guess the two of us will succeed in this quest ;)

Speaking of quests: this is one more attempt of making a rather short post, let´s see how I manage...lol

 

IC: Ged had to stiffle a sigh of relief as he felt Noy stopping to shake and finally rise his head as he spoke to him, smiling bitterly.

 

"Let the past lie, the present and future is what we have to worry about now. Hope. What a misrable word, but we still have to keep hope, yes."

 

Ged nodded grimly, trying to keep his own face as emotionless as possible, yet inside him, his emotions were right again up to crashing down on him again.

 

Yes, hope..., he thought glumly, his smile grim and cynical as he realized how vain that hope was after all. [iMy past is lying buried in eleven graves....[/i] He would never see his family again, no matter what he tried.

 

My past lies behind me, buried deeply, yet it will haunt me forever and even if there is a way for it to stop and let me forget about it, do I derserve to?

 

Gritting his teeth, sudden anger about his own misery and despair flaring inside him, he couldn´t hide his eyes blazing in anger. Yet he quickly soughte the void to help himself to supress those thoughts at least for the moment, his face and outward composure hard as a stone as he turned to Noy.

 

"We will win the Last Battle, there is no other option."

 

Deep inside the void, sceptism was still nagging at him, yet Ged fought down all those thoughts fiercely and with an almost indifferent voice he managed to say: "Yes, of course we will."

 

Ged was fed up with crying and despairing. He suddenly only wanted to get out with his sword and it wouldn´t have mattered to him now, if a whole fist of Trollocs would attack him on his own right how. He suddenly felt an urge rising inside him. Something he had never felt before and which shocked him to the core: He really wantedto kill right now. He just wanted to have something to help him to get rid of all those stored up feelings and severing some Trollocs´head just seemed the right thing to do. He would kill them without thinking, his blade dancing among them, drawing blood....

 

"The Light help me...", Ged wispered almost inaudibly and unconscious of having spokien that thought aloud. He was just too shocked about that sudden flash of emotion washing through him. That sudden hate..."Light...what has become of me..."

 

OOC: Hm...two things: first: quest of managing a short post: failed again...;) second: managing to cause misery and desperation: accomplished - yay :D

[jasonr]

"Yes, of course we will," Ged replied. He whispered something almost inaudiable, but Noy still caught it. "The Light help me..., Light...what has become of me..." Noy grimaced, he hoped that he could help him some how.

 

"Ged... I don't know what's wrong but, we do what we have to do, and we can't change that."

 

Noy tried to pat his arm comfortingly, he had no idea about how to go about this. "Ged..." Noy fell silent, he had no idea what to say to Ged. There was nothing he could do but wait for him to snap out of it.

 

To the Pit of Doom with waiting, Noy was too impatent. Noy grabbed Ged's arm and took him outside. "Ged, you see this, the Farm, the wilderness, everything. All of this, and so much more, is what you are here for. If you can just be strong, that you can protect it. All of it."

 

Noy's coment was very ironic. Everything he was saying to Ged the entire day was advise he could apply to himself. "We have to protect it. Not just this, but everything, we have to protect everything from the Dark One."

 

ooc: hope you don't mind me moving us outside, it was getting boring at the Inn the whole time, needed a scene change.

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: Nope, I don´t mind that at all, actually intened that myself only that this post would have gotten even longer then...;)

 

IC: Ged felt like being in some kind of trance, as Noy´s patting his arm felt distant and not like coming through to his actual body at all.

 

"Ged... I don't know what's wrong but, we do what we have to do, and we can't change that."

 

Not actually hearing what Noy told him, his mind still lingering somewhere between Baereon, the Black Tower and whereever he had just seen himself killing those Trollocs in a blood rage, Ged didn´t realize that Noy´s grip on his arm suddenly tightened and he was dragged with him.

Mechanically, yet still unaware of what he was doing, Ged´s feet just moved as he followed Noy outside and it only was for the sun suddenly searing his irises as he directly looked into the blazing light that brought him back to reality.

 

"Ged, you see this, the Farm, the wilderness, everything. All of this, and so much more, is what you are here for. If you can just be strong, that you can protect it. All of it."

 

Opening his eyes, once again actually seeing what was in front of him, Ged nodded unconsciously, stil feeling the tight grip Noy was having on his arm.

Protecting the Farm? That was it? Well, it was a beginning after all and although he just wanted to lay down and sleep for the rest of his life to be blessd with merciful oblivion, Ged knew that this was what he was expected to do. What he would be traine for inside the Black Tower.

Not only to protect the Farm, but the World in general. That was their task, their purpose, their right of being, how ever unstable and fragil a cause it was after all.

 

"Well, I will have to try at last...", Ged murmured softly as he stood there outside next to Noy.

 

"We have to protect it. Not just this, but everything, we have to protect everything from the Dark One."

 

The determination in Noy´s voice somehow being contagious, Ged felt himself nod in assent as he said, being surprised how firm and steady his own voice sounded: "Yes, we will try and the Light willing we will succeed. However: The Wheel weaves as it wills..."

 

Ged didn´t even know where that quote had come from, he only became aware of it abruptly and it just felt the right thing to say.

[jasonr]

ooc: sorry for the delay, just saw Scary Movie 4 (which you might not know of seeing as you live in Gemany ) Funny, you try to post short and I try to post long. Really, I would prefer a long post, it gives me more to work with.

 

IC: Noy smiled as Ged finnally snapped out of his trance and said, "Yes, we will try and the Light willing we will succeed. However: The Wheel weaves as it wills..."

 

Yes, he had heard that expression before. "The Wheel weaves..." He didn't know what to say, the light burn the Wheel, he made his own decisions, not a figurative weaving wheel!

 

"Burn the Wheel, we have to win, there is no other option. We have to beat the Dark One, and the only way to do that is to work for it, to work for everyone."

 

Noy wondered when he would truely be able to make his own decisions, when he would stop being a puppet pulled by strings. He wished to take control of his life, to get his life back, but all he seemed to be doing was digging himself into a hole in which he could not get out of. A hole that would keep him here until the Last Battle.

 

Oh Light, they had to win, they just had to...

[Guest Faile1987]

The Wheel weaves..., Ged heard Noy muttering under his breath, repeating the quote Ged had just spoken aloud so unconsciously.

Raising his head and glancing at Noy, Ged wondered what the Amadician was thinking as his forehead suddenly furrowed.

 

"Burn the Wheel, we have to win, there is no other option. We have to beat the Dark One, and the only way to do that is to work for it, to work for everyone."

 

Blinking at Noy´s abrupt and definitely determined speech, Ged nodded absent-mindedly, his hand suddenly wandering to his waist unconsciously and after a second he knew he was fumbling for a sword, feeling the sudden need to actually do something and going through the sword forms he had been thought seemed a good and useful thing to do right now.

Only that he had no sword as the Soldiers usually didn´t carry any weapons other than their inborn ability to channel, a weapon stronger than any sword, still they also were schooled in fighting with non-Power-wrought weapons just in case aand to strenghten their bodies.

 

Suddenly becoming aware of how he must look right now, gripping for an imaginary sword-hilt, Ged looked up, his face flushed in embarrassment as he knew how foolish he must look right now.

 

Trying to cover his awkwardness right now, Ged jerked his head upright and hastily asked Noy: "Hey, why not lets start actually doing something to prepare us for Tarmon Gai´don? I mean, we better should use any bit of time we have to get ready, shouldn´t we? So...erh...how about a little sword-training session without having someone watching us?"

 

Suddenly Ged was just eager to act and he felt that now was the right time to work on his weapon skill, having had a good meal, rest and found someone looking fit to train with.

 

OOC: Off to the armoury I´d say, and hey, no depression in that past *feels her head - hm...no, no fever ;)*

[jasonr]

ooc: I'm so jittery about Dorian and Danian, I can't see how you can get to sleep Stephi, although it's only 7:15 where I am and 1:15 where you are, that might help a little. :D

 

IC: "Hey, why not lets start actually doing something to prepare us for Tarmon Gai´don? I mean, we better should use any bit of time we have to get ready, shouldn´t we? So...erh...how about a little sword-training session without having someone watching us?" Noy grinned at Ged, it was a very good idea. He was preaching about how they should be prepaired for the Last Battle but was sitting around doing nothing.

 

"I think that practicing our sword forms is a great idea." Noy was exited about practicing with swords, he was not very good with the weapon and needed practice anyway. "Well personally my sword is not with me, and neither is yours, so we can go borrow some at the training grounds." Noy walked with Ged to the Training Grounds and picked up a wooded lathe and saw Ged do the same.

 

"Ok, let's start." Noy moved into the position "Leopord in the Tree", where his legs were slightly bent and leaning foward. He then moved slightly unsmoothly into "The Courtier Taps His Fan", a simple over-hand blow that was ment to split your enemy's head. And waited for the blow to make contact...

 

ooc: I just realized that when sword fighting we would have to NPC eachother because of the other's reactions to the moves. These are going to be kinda short I guess.

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: Ok, first: So do I :D and I was up to past 3am again, so ;)

second:I guess NPCing that won´t be much of a problem, we´ll have our fun after all :D

 

IC:

"I think that practicing our sword forms is a great idea." Noy was exited about practicing with swords, he was not very good with the weapon and needed practice anyway. "Well personally my sword is not with me, and neither is yours, so we can go borrow some at the training grounds."

 

Ged smiled self-consciously as Noy clearly pointed out the fact that neither of them had a sword ready right now, despite Ged had been reaching for where his sword hilt would have been, if he had one that was.

 

Following Noy out to the Training Ground, they soon found the armoury and picking up two swords in plain scabbards, both him and Noy got out on the field again and readied themselves to get started.

All of a sudden the weeariness possessing Ged´s body only an hour before, abruptly had vanished and he was nearly quivering in anticipation of the training, glad to have found someone he could practise with as his sword forms really needed improval.

 

Watching Noy assume "Leopard on the Tree" as his starting position, Ged quickly dropped into "Lion on the Hill", a simple, but effective position he had quickly noticed suitable for his style of fighting.

 

Realizing Noy moving to strike right at his head, Ged acted almost instinctively and went into "Falcon Stoops" to block Noy´s "Courtier taps his Fan" with a powerful overhead thrust, fast changing hands on the hilt to return into a guarding position wih his blade holding reverse as he had before.

 

Having effectively blocked Noy´s first attack, it seemed now on Ged to counter his strike and quickly he dropped into "Boar rushes down the Mountain", doing first a vertical slash with both hands tightly holding the hilt, then he deftly altered the course of the stroke in mid-swing to bring the blade down low.

Feeling one with his blade all of a sudden it seemed to Ged that he didn´t see anything but the weapon he was holding and the target he was aiming his strokes at. Nothing besides that mattered anymore.

 

OOC: Beware of the cold and emotionless madman ;)

[jasonr]

ooc: ok, I am assuming that "Bear rushes down the mountain" is really boar rushes down the mountain, anyway, that is an intermediate form and we should be sticking to the begginer forms. And I doubt that we are fighting with real steel blades, our inexperiance would probibly leave us cut into ribbons.

 

IC: Noy smiled as "The Courtier Taps His Fan" was blocked by "Boar Rushes Down the Mountain". Time slowed during their fight, seconds became minutes, and minutes became hours, hour became days. The only thing that Noy could see was Ged's weapon. Peripheral vision was gone, the only directing in which his eyes allowed to see was the weapon heald in Ged's hand. He was not afraid, but his body and all of his sences were screaming at him that there was danger.

 

Noy was glad that his body unconsiously got rid of all the distractions, but there were still emotional and physical distractions also. To avoid making mistakes due to those, Noy assumed the Flame and the Void, and all emotions slid away from him. Now Noy was ready to attack, he had gotten rid of all distractions, mental, physical and emotional.

 

Noy knew two stances which he could do and preform effectively, "Lion on the Hill", and "Leopard in the Tree". Noy considered his options, he knew a limited amount of sword forms, and had to chose wisely. After he had made a decision, he moved into, "Lion on the Hill", then swiftly attacked Ged using "Parting the Silk", an attack that was aimed at his abdomen, and could also be used to defend.

[Guest Faile1987]

OOC: Yeah, sorry, was too much in a kind of writing frenzy to notice spelling mistakes and btw. "Courtier taps his Fan" is an intermediate form as well, but I kind of thought the same ;)

 

IC:Emptiness. Ged´s mind seemed to float in nonexistence as he fought. Somehow everything that had been close to him before seemed to be so distant that he almost seemed to drift into nothingness. Subconsciously he still thought that he should be wary of that sudden blank feeling inside him as he knew he should have remembered something. Something he knew he should have kept in mind and something he knew he wouldn´t lose forever. Yet for now he didn´t remember anything. Nothing was of any account anymore. He himself seemed to have dissolved into that surging streem of nothingness and oblivion.

 

Had Ged been aware of himself at all, he should have known that he was deep in the void, having assumed the oneness almost unconsciously as he picked up the wooden sword Noy had offered him.

Yet as it was, Ged seemed to have nearly lost himself, however unawarely having given in to the urge inside him to act, to train, to fight.

 

Floating in between his sword forms, of which his knowledge was only very limited, but still inside the void, not even that mattered. His intuition telling him that he was in danger and that Noy´s hand was jus about to strike again, was all that made Ged move.

 

Smoothly, almost instinctively, Ged shifted his balance and spiraled around at a close range, yet avoiding Noy´s strike, but raising his own weapon in return, Ged struck and with a loud clang wood met wood, training weapons locked into each other as both Soldiers attempted to disarm each other.

 

Yet seeing that that attempt sooner or later would tire both of them out much too early, Ged abruptly withdrew his blade and whirling around to escape Noy´s slash, he brought up his sword from the waist, slashing horizontally, in a vertical arch aiming for Noy´s waist. Moon rises over the Water, Ged thought somehow, still the emptiness swallowed him again and he didn´t care where the names of the sword forms came from as long as he kept moving and away from Noy´s blade.

 

OOC: This is getting funny ;)

[jasonr]

ooc: what ever, I am pritty sure that according to the Warders sight, it is a beggening form.

 

IC: Noy smiled slightly at the rythmic clacking of their two swords.It was pleasant, being able to do this, being able to simply float in emotionless ness and become lost in the sword forms. The clatter of their swords was hypnotic, and all Noy could focus on was Ged.

 

Noy’s movements became smooth, he was no longer thinking about training, or anything. Attack, defend, attack, defend, all in an endless cycle. It felt as if he was making no conscious movements.

 

This confused Noy, after all, they were two inexperienced swordsmen who barely knew what they were doing, but the thought was chased away mercilessly by the Void. Noy could not think of anything, it was not that he wanted to chase the thoughts away, but it seemed a physical impossibility not to.

 

Noy slowly began to feel a sweetness, something addicting. It was not the Source, the Source would beckon him, taunt him with it’s power and lust. This was a sweetness beyond compare, it would gently cradle Noy in its arms. Like a cools summer’s breeze sailing across the horizon.

 

Finally, after much thought, Noy understood what this mysterious sweetness was; it was the sweetness of having no emotions, no memories, no ties to the mortal world. He was chained down to the earth by human things like fear of sorrow. Noy was not burdened by the hauntings of his past.

 

Noy was free from everything that shackled him to the mortal world, he did not think he was anywhere near the Creator, or anything like that. But oh, the feeling was so sweet; it could not even be described. It was impossible to break away from the feeling, and Noy didn’t want to.

 

Amidst this miracle; this wonder, there was horror. Faded and contained by the Void, his terror still reached Noy. He was terrified of slipping away, of loosing his terrible, yet only connection to life. Light, he wanted to live, and he was afraid that he would just slip right out of his body. Still, he basked in this wonder while terror was boiling inside him, and countered Ged’s forms.

 

ooc: hehehe, I kinda got a little carried away with this one... :D