We the troubled triumphant(Repost)~Lady Halvie~

[ashara]

The Night that was beckoned softly, lingering still in the dark velvet of the sky. Ripples in the wind called; subtle and almost imagined its magic was. The silence that had lured us here, a hand outstretched to show long spidery fingers loomed now and herein, and in many ways, made it more majestic. Silver stars gathered together, streaking the black of the hour for it was the sky that was the canvas today.

 

They slept in a Tower grand in its might, not unlike the White Tower of Tar Valon.

 

They murmured and shifted on their mattresses, their faces not unlike those of

three Novices.

 

Her eyes in the pitch black of the room were like blazing stars, not unlike the sweet gray of Novice Vera. And yet, there was a difference.

 

It was the moonlight riverstream and the zephyr of the night that rejoiced in the darkened halls of the White Tower, blind in their plight for love and thus joyful. None but they dared to walk at this hour and for them too, it was different; Oblivious to all else as they twirled through many a merry dance- here just round the corner, there beneath the intricately carved ceiling. You could feel it still, the faint residues; the caress of the wind, the stray beam of moonlight, if only you know where to look. Here beneath the stars they had danced, wanting neither music nor colour. You could say that they lived for the moment. Others had stopped before, yes, but never remained for long, for those who hadn’t belong in the beginning could not appreciate that which had been stumbled upon, here at the dead of the night. As the dances of the night are watched from afar, one begins to wonder whether it is the danger that is omnipresent, ever beneath the surface that enthralls them so. She did not know.

 

It was the silence that had beckoned with soft whispers earlier that was a startling beacon now. Amidst the quiet of the hour and the velvet night, behind the rat that scuttled noiselessly and before the nightcrow stood she, watching aimlessly. Or so it seemed. The white dress, stark and brilliant against the darkened night moved with surreal fluidity as she walked towards the enticing sight of the peaceful abyss they called the sky. Only a few hours before she had it as bright blue and lively, with the chirping of the birds never far away. How she wished for a brush now, to sit and dab colour with beneath the ever watchful stars, showing intricate designs of this hour. It might even be beyond her capability, she acknowledged.

 

The midnight hours had kept her awake several times now, the peace that would first seem so very tempting would never change for the better, but it was her belief that things were best as they were. Attacks and spasms could not be helped, she had been told, she was what she was. Better if she let them out now, here in the silence. Better now, while alone. The voice that haunted her still would be sweet at first, if only to change drastically later- she could not afford for harm to come to those she loved, thinking of Aoife and Gaiya. Did they know, she often wondered, of this insomnia? It would not be surprising if Aoife had noticed, she was the more observant of the two. If indeed her absence had been noted, than Vera was grateful for their silence. And secretly, a little disturbed. Did they not care enough? It was a worrisome hurtful thought, that.

 

It was as she contemplated on this sensitive issue that the appearance of another went unnoticed.

 

~Vera Cadsanome

Novice

Floating in murky waters

 

OOC: Hope this is okay

 

~~~

 

~’*’~ Silence was a spread of heavy fabric that dampened senses, the sundry of stars pinned against the sky giving the night a dauntingly palpable aura. Cool air circulated around soaring arches, past ivory mounds and around clustered structures that radiated no small amount of heat, its arch nemesis of sorts. This evening marked the third straight night where her mind had succumbed to the insomnia plague and so mechanically, Halvie took to the hushed & empty halls. Her steady footfall echoed in cavernous corridors tastefully lined with intricate drapery and polished silverware that winked subtly to the eyes of the beholder, long & swaying shadows parting as she approached. The witching hour had entered with the ringing of bells in spiral towers minutes ago, yet she retained memories of its distant sounding with startling clarity. Dimly, she wondered why that was so.

 

~’*’~ One blood red crescent moon hung sharply against other noticeable celestial beings, unobscured by scurrying clouds. Tilted green eyes noted its presence somewhat resentfully, her mind stagnant and unhinged from scheming contemplation for a wonderment grudgingly approving the heavenly landscape. In the deeper recesses of her mind, however, she cringed. This was folly, to become so tense towards something so remote, so inconsequential in her quest to rise beyond expectations in an elusive manner. Granted, a flushed moon was a most unusual vision. Irritably, Halvie smoothed the crisp edge of her shirt, having donned a new set of clothing before stepping through the threshold of her quarters. She felt a flicker of antagonism rid the heavy bundle of constricted emotions on her shoulders for the briefest moment, then slight puzzlement at her current situation before shrugging it off. She was travelling down an exhausted way of thinking yet again. She had to learn to live with rejection.

 

~’*’~ A faint rustling of cloth ahead of her caused her steady pace to falter marginally, as she keenly listened to the steady tapping of heels against flagstones heading her way. Insecurity in her current tower status found Halvie awaiting the opposite figure to come within speaking distance with some form of hateful trepidation. A red shawl, not a Green, thank the Light. There was always tension between the various ajahs, but the ageless façade passing by bore no signs of recognition, no interest in pursuing a late conversation. That bode well for Halvie when any happenstance or casual meet could send ripples out to have her budding career come crashing down. Every exchanged word fraught with difficulties and half a hundred secret meanings, tragedies lining up to stain her slate, bring her into debt, to failure, disaster. What was worse was the fact that such matters could not be ignored, pushed into some dank cavern to rot. More unpropitious, she still harboured secrets darker & far hazardous than facing down Tower intrigues.

 

~’*’~ Battle grounds. Armies. Killing. Saidar the weapon. Obsession was not a word that could carelessly justify all the feelings she held for the subject, scrolls of ancient names and grandiose battles coming to mind with ease yet experience wise, she knew relatively little of it. To compensate for that during the last decades or so, Halvie had endeavoured to increase her mental capacity for knowledge, historical events where a multitude of lessons could be gathered and applied to her own life. Yet as days flew by she understood that doing just that would simply not be enough. All this time sheltered by a harsh hand, where freedom was compressed, restrained, taken away. And now that the world finally lay open & inviting to her, Halvie found that she was incapable of leaving her sanctuary, to seek her destiny and court battle & death like a true Green.

 

~’*’~ She was gorging on irrepressible fear, where a host of issues crowding her vision within and beyond the tower, skulking in the shadows. Her eyes and ears contacts was only beginning to branch out, still in its infant stage though she had poured much effort into sustaining that fragile start, determined that it evolve into an empire of sorts for her benefits one day. Diurnal, numerous petty quarrels and dissension was assaulting Halvie, and the thoughts of the hefty pile of missives awaiting her on her desk made her give an involuntary twitch. Administration work had never truly appealed to her the way it patently did to the Browns much as she treasured its irrefutable intelligence. Perchance one day when her… youth had wrinkled away, when she was a battle-hardened woman of considerable standing. Perhaps then, when her ambitions altered to go seeking for a different sort of glory, who knew? Everything was possible, when armed with the correct mindset and power hold.

 

~’*’~ Since concluding that sulking through her initiation period was errant, Halvie had set to making use of what little at her disposal, attempting to manipulate others as she would with stones on a stone board. She still found it a touch disconcerting when those not of the shawl allotted her respect in spades, even those she had known years ago when still a neophyte clad in white and the seven coloured bands. It just felt wrong, somehow, in an ineffable manner; as though she was silently acknowledging being unworthy of it all. Yet that could not possibly be right. Halvie narrowed her eyes at the licking orange flames by the walls, frowning meditatively. Something was missing from her life, some events she had yet to undergo to feel… complete. But what? And who to question regarding such complex, abstract matters? She trusted no one completely.

 

~’*’~ It was then that she detected the presence of yet another person before her, and curiously enough, clad in the apparel of a novice. The tight knot ever looming at the back of her head suddenly became all the more palpable, curiosity tinged with annoyance & disgust. Drawing her dark dress closer, Halvie took an imperious step towards the child, the epitome of cool authority. It was time to set aside personal angst. A small smile threatened to break across her serene façade when she noticed that the novice remained oblivious to her own presence. Pity. Placing a hand on her shoulders, she augustly swung the novice around to face her. In a voice smooth as polished glass, she began her interrogation. “Name and explanation for your presence in these halls after curfew, child. And be quick about it.â€

 

Halvie Sedai

Rejected Sister of the Battle Ajah

 

Ooc: It’s a lovely post, don’t worry.

 

~~~~~~

 

The cold was a dampened wind, descending onto her shoulders with the early morning chill, dewdrops and silver fog all playing their part. Little needles stung her arms and legs, almost playful as the mist of the approaching morning enveloped her, wrapping itself around for the most tender of embraces. This was of course all her imagination, or actually as she liked to believe: a different way of looking at life. How else could one come to believe that every single substance that lingered was not infact a ‘thing’ but a being of its own? How else could she come to believe that the embrace she felt was real and a choice made both by her and the other; It was not simply something she had walked into. Reality. It could be seen in so many different colours, that.

 

Would they think her mad, if seen like this? She was not sure who ‘they’ indeed were, nor was she sure about why she was so set on thinking of things other than the nightsky and the paling moon. Was she perhaps, image conscious all of a sudden? The idea did not do well with her face, for suddenly it changed and the most awful of scarlet blushes appeared on her cheeks. She had never worried before about how others felt about her, or whether those whispers that passed her by were indeed truths revealed about her, mingled so deeply with rumour and gossip that sadly enough the reality of the ‘truth’ was lost well before it had slipped out. Her sister’s love had been enough for her; those eyes she had known so well once were now all but a glorious memory….

 

The serenity that sunk so deep onto the Sister’s face was a chilling mask, beautiful in some ways and yet terrifying in so many others. Was it pity she had glimpsed while she had been forced around? She felt the rational doubt enter her mind when the idea did, for on the face that was proud and cold before her now, she saw nothing but the questioning gaze of someone who was better. Bigger. More important. Her voice was like the smoothest silk, slipping past Vera in a thick sultry tone of authority, making it ring in her head like the morning bells that announced the beginning of the day. She was in trouble, yes, but could the degree be somewhat lessened she wondered as her eyes roving, took in the imperial appearance, making her just a little more curious about the thoughts that were making little circles in the Sister’s mind.

 

What infact, was she doing at such a place, at such a time? It was not, unlike for the other, in her place to question her or even wonder so about the secrets of an Aes Sedai, but Vera knew as she noted the rings underneath her eyes, that this was not her first night either. Did she too suffer from the same? The idea was glorious in itself, but ringed so deeply by fear, it was something Vera found she would never say to her. Not atleast in the manner that was haunting her now. The sudden tightness the Aes Sedai’s hold took made her look up, grey eyes daring to be a keen display of all that went through Vera’s mind. Yes, she was supposed to answer. But then, they both knew better. They both knew that it was not the explanation the Sedai was looking for, but the reason to dismiss. Nothing would sound right and true at this moment, during this hour.

 

“I do not have an explanation, Aes Sedai. I do not know why I am here…but then, neither do you. Am I not right?â€

 

The supposed horror that was meant to fill her just about now, in large and swift torrents that would blow her away, never came. Instead, there was something close to satisfaction in her mind. Satisfaction for the courage that had come, from seemingly nowhere. With eyes charged with a new and slightly dangerous fury, Vera watched the Sedai with nonchalance although behind those gray eyes, there was nothing but fire and ash.

 

Fire and ash.

 

Vera Cadsanome

Novice

Row row row your boat, gently down the stream...

 

OOC: There you go :)

[Elilliane]

~’*’~ A startling riposte from so young a person, still drabbed in pristine white. Could she perhaps have glimpsed briefly the promise of another potential nemesis, sharp and conniving as herself? Her heart seemed to constrict at what sounded like harsh accusation from the novice, who dared to discount her questions and hurl poorly veiled insults undoubtedly meant to hurt the recipient. Halvie could not have felt more rebuffed and insulted at that moment, not when the shadow of the hurt acquired through her rejected petition still hung conspicuously above her. Then, her illustrious and almighty company were people she was not on equal footing with; people she would still have to grovel and serve for now. But this mere novice was altogether a different matter and in so abandoned a place in such an unearthly hour, vulnerable and naïve as the child, anything could happen.

 

~’*’~ “You are delightfully presumptuous, my dear. One would wonder why but then, is it worth the bother to speculate?†Her eyes flashed menacingly as she took a step forward, another hand casually dusting the sides of her dress in a meaningless gesture. It was highly doubtful that the girl would think to read more into such an action in her current state & apparent lack of schooling in the ways of a manipulator; subtle movements that were suggestive only to the most astute. Nevertheless, it would never do to attempt to underestimate another despite their rank, as many in past history had learnt to their own sorrowful end. Halvie always had been one who treasured such things, to the extent that she had once considered joining the Browns in pursue of ancient knowledge. In retrospect, it might not have been so dreadful if she had.

 

~’*’~ “Come along with me,†she commanded condescendingly. Not a few days had passed since she had been one of the nameless insignificants dressed in white, albeit with the additional seven-coloured hem. Her control over areas most Aes Sedai would have treated as second nature was still unsteady at best, but she was learning. With the presence of this particularly enigmatic child, perhaps she had found someone to practice and eradicate those flaws. And without stretching herself too far, she began to harbour hopes of being able to initiate a certain tie with this other person, for her own benefit. It was a bitterly fragile hope, but it was the only reason she could give herself for even asking the novice to accompany her, instead of simply issuing a harsh penance and severe further communication.

 

~’*’~ Sharply did she recall the feel of the rod, how cold it had been and the tightening of chest when she spoke the oaths; there had been an eerie sense of foreboding, though she had not wanted to admit that to herself then. The thoughts passed through her mind at her dizzying pace as she walked by the individual representatives of every ajah within the tower, dismay & regret mingling as she imagined each door slamming shut behind her as she walked pass them. She would never be one of them and never had there been so much dread in her steps. Fortitude had been the only thing that drove her own, well rehearsed words leaving her lips almost mechanically. Encompassing apprehension, then the surge of joyous release when it finally dawned upon her that she had taken the first real step towards her destiny – a shawl now rested upon her slender shoulders. She was Aes Sedai.

 

~’*’~ Now Halvie realised that after the magnitude of recent events had hit upon her, arrogance began to govern her every move, albeit slowly. She had considered the steps to be taken upon achieving her goal during the odd moments of leisure & peace as novice and later as Accepted, but never seriously. So confident had she been to be admitted, so full of herself, rationalizing that she of all people could bring this prideful Ajah down to their knees, begging for her to enter their ranks. Who was she to have entertained such thoughts? Barely more than a child. With that sudden revelation, she began to view things in a different light.

 

~’*’~ She had no friends. She never had a loving mentor the way most of the other girls had, so that advantage was lost upon her. The Yellow sister had never really cared for her, having left Halvie to fend for herself, stumbling around mistakes, lost and alone. Intentional? Perhaps. To have been abandoned so had hurt her more than she cared to admit, more so when the tragedy that had befallen her… family remained so fresh, the wounds still raw and open. How many times had she sought for someone to offer comfort, the nights when her pillow was stained with salty tears? Acquaintances were formed out of necessity but never encouraged, strengthened; except one, only….no. It would not do to relive the unfortunate incident. The insomnia was creating disorder in her mind. A frown crossed her features at the thought. This would not do.

 

Halvie Sedai

Rejected Sister of the Green Ajah

 

Ooc: Trust me to keep you waiting. Again. :roll: