A Journey's End and Newly Begun [Attn: MoT]

[Quisalas Selene]

It was just before sunset when Selene and Jasine rode up the bridges to the island of Tar Valon.  Travel-worn and weary, the guard narrowed his eyes and looked at them closely before nodding to Selene's assertion that she was sent to the tower by an Aes Sedai.  They rode on into the city of Tar Valon itself, weariness forgotten in the majesty of the city up close.

 

For Jasine, the beauty of the city was of second importance to the safety of his sister.  Once the guard at the bridge had let them by he managed to relax enough to really behold the glory of the fabled Tar Valon.  The reddening sunlight made the white walls glow almost pink, transforming the delicately formed seashell and wave buildings into something almost ethereal, out of a storybook.  He supposed Tar Valon actually was a city of storybooks and he saw now why it was touted as the most beautiful in the land.  The shell buildings especially looked enchanting, almost as if they could be alive.  Jasine and Selene sat their horses, side by side, watching the colors shift and flicker as the sun set behind them, the shadow of Dragonmount slowly but surely moving to eclipse the riot of colors.

 

At the harsh call from a wide wagon jostling through to get into the city before dark.  Selene reached out to Jasine, took his hand for one quick squeeze, and then lead then forward on the general path towards the White Tower.  Originally Jasine had insisted on leading the way when they couldn't ride abreast, but that was how Selene had gotten tangled with that vendor, when she was behind him and he couldn't keep a constant eye on her.  The girl was too trusting by half, and even if she lead the way, he was able to watch her back, quite literally.  Jasine kept his hand on the hilt of his sword, riding tall and sure in the saddle and trying to bluff his way through any harm that might think of going for the diminutive blonde on the flighty black filly.

 

 

[Quisalas Selene]

Tar Valon was blessedly uneventful.  There were people from all walks of life within the city and both Jasine and his sister did a lot of staring as they made their way towards the Tower.  Selene caught Jase staring at a particularly clingy dress hugging the curves of a Domani woman who could have posed for a statue and with a jerk of her head and a loud sniff, he only had time to snap his eyes away from her and towards his sister before he caught a full face of blonde braid moving at high velocity.  Seasoned rider or not, Jase startled and barked a yell and fell to the cobblestones between their horses.  The Domani, who had apparently noticed the boy watching her, had set her basket of goods down and was doubled over them, laughing uproariously.  Jase heard similar sounds coming from all sides and glared at Selene.

 

Selene laughed too, steadying the unsettled filly with primarily knees alone as she had both hands pressed to her mouth, reins trailing from them, as she giggled.  Jasine's mount Brownie just stood there, steady and apparently unamused or upset by his rider's abrupt absence.  Jase untangled his scabbard from his legs, struggled to his feet, and took Brownie's reins up in a hand.  He shielded his eyes with a hand as he looked up at Selene, squinting against the last red light of sunset.  "It's late sis, and now I'm all dirty in addition to being travel sore and bone tired.  Have we got enough silver left to stay in an Inn tonight before going to the tower?  We could play cards, one last time, before you go."

 

Selene bit her lip, thinking briefly.  Without checking the purse, she nodded her assent. "This one here looks nice, and it'll just be a short ride to the Tower in the morning."  She dismounted and led her horse beside Jasine, the two of them seeing their horses to the stable and put away properly themselves.  It wasn't that they didn't trust the Inn's stablehand, a lad named Jerlyn who watched them with narrowed eyes as they curried, brushed, and stabled the horses.  It was simply that the horses were theirs, and they had been raised to always take care of their horses, before themselves, and to see to their responsibilities quickly and without needing reminder.  Likely, Jerlyn's distrust and anger came more from the silver pennies he would not get for tending to the animals in their stead.  After a brief argument, Jase took the bags for both of them and Selene patted the dust off her dress as best she could before leading them outside again.

 

Jasine warred with himself internally about taking the bags.  Burdened, he wouldn't be able to protect his sister as effectively, but it was an Inn.  In Tar Valon.  They should be perfectly safe here, but the worrying nag of his sense of duty wouldn't stay quiet.  Selene did end up giving the stable boy a single silver penny, asking that the horses be fed lightly, but twice.  They could colic given too much feed right away after the exertion of long-distance travel.  They'd had primarily nothing but night-time grazing for most of their trip north.  Jerlyn's scowl was replaced by an insincere-looking smile, but he would probably do as asked.

[Quisalas Selene]

Inside the Inn, the room was procured with little fuss at all and when one of the hands offered to take the bags Jasine relinquished then easily.  Now that they were here, in Tar Valon, all Jase really wanted was a quiet meal, a quiet drink, and bed.  They took seats near the stage and listened to the pretty dark-haired girl there play the dulcimer while they waited for their food.  Jasine's ale was dropped off, and Selene's water.  He drank half of it down in a single pull, and came up gasping for breath.  The serving girl, another pretty dark-haired girl who looked like she could have come from his own town, trilled a high giggle and smiled at Jase, winking once before turning away with her empty tray.  Jase smiled after her, the dopey unselfconcious smile of a boy who had not yet learned to school his face as a man might, and he completely missed the scowl that his sister wore around her water glass.

 

He was pulled out of his admiration of the retreating serving girl's hind parts by a stately woman with an unreadable expression approaching the pair of them.  She had her hair cut in an almost severely short bob, the black tresses smooth against her bronzed skin.  Her dress was some kind of light tan color and shiny, the slashes cut into the skirt with yellow of the same fabric.  She tipped her chin and looked down her nose at the pair of them, looking for all the world like a displeased school marm or aunt.  Definitely not someone to mince words.  Jase didn't look to his sister when she gasped softly, but his hand dropped from the ale on the table to the sword hilt beneath it that he didn't have enough room to draw anyway.  He didn't know why his sister gasped, but he wouldn't be caught of guard by this... woman.

 

"Child, if you try to pull that blade on me I shall have you turned upside-down and spanked with the flat of the blade before you can get it halfway out of the scabbard.  Drink your ale and let me speak with this... girl."  She didn't pause for his reaction, but bent and took Selene by the arm and had her standing up and marching away before he could protest.  He stood up sharply, knocking over the chair and as he was gripping the hilt she called back severely, "I do not make idle threats, boy.  Mind your manners."  He stood there, dumbfounded at being so soundly called down, and dropped into the seat.  At least, he tried to.  The seat was now approximately a foot and a half further back than he thought it was and as he came down awkwardly on a chairleg sticking up into the air he fell from it to the table, catching his chin on the solid wood.  He cried out, his teeth clicking together audibly at the impact, and wound up on the floor, rather rudely deposited for the second time in less than a half an hour.  The girl with the dulcimer giggled and Jase flushed as red as the blood that dropped from the new cut on his chin onto his shirt. 

 

He mumbled a curse and righted himself, and then the chair.  The serving girl that had smiled at him before came over, clearly trying to stifle giggles, and handed him a cloth to press to the chin.  She leaned in close and murmured "Best not be taking such a tone with the Aes Sedai, handsome.  Especially not in this town."  She nodded to the woman's back, who was across the room and had his sister cornered against the wall near the kitchen door.  Jase uttered another oath and sat carefully in the chair, wincing as he made contact with it.  That chair leg would leave a bruise he would not soon forget.  Jase pulled away the cloth to see how much blood was on it, grimaced at the sight, and then folded it and put a clean part of it against his chin again.  Face injuries always did bleed a lot, more than they really accounted for how injured someone was.  He worked his jaw a few times, eventually satisfied that he hadn't hurt anything important.  A quick swipe of his tongue confirmed that he had lost no teeth, there wasn't even a wiggle from them.  Holding the cloth in one hand he drained the ale and then nodded to the girl to get him another.  He spoke up just as she turned away, thanking her for the cloth.  The girl giggled again, dark eyes twinkling brightly, and he blushed again as she turned away.  The girl at the dulcimer had thankfully gone back to playing and while she wasn't staring at him, he could see the smile trying to show upon her lips.

[Quisalas Selene]

His sister returned before the ale did.  She walked proudly across the Inn, nearly strutting, and Jasine arched a brow slowly.  His little sister had stood up to that and came away smiling?!  He was almost impressed for a moment, and then she spoiled it by darting her eyes to the side like she was trying to make sure the Aes Sedai wasn't stalking up on her and now he could see her swallowing repeatedly like she was scared.  He had to admit, he was still impressed by the bluff she was trying to pull.  He didn't think she had it in her. 

 

She sat down and finished her water almost as quickly as he had his ale, gulping it down with both hands wrapped around the glass.  Jase couldn't help it, he laughed before he could stop it, but it was a warm smile for a beloved sister.  Selene glared at him, and this time he did catch it, which only made him grin, and then wince.  The wince was for his chin, however, not the fury his sister was trying to convey in mere expression.  The smiling had brought a fresh stab of pain to his chin and he was pretty sure it had just finally stopped bleeding, too. 

 

Dinner and the card games afterwards were blissfully uneventful after the rest of their evening in Tar Valon, and the two of them stayed up too late talking and laughing and being friends.  It was as if they both knew the morrow would bring serious change and neither wanted to let it happen yet.  When they did finally both fall asleep, the candles burned down to their last inch and finally sputtered out in their own melted wax.  The siblings fell asleep fully dressed, and woke the next morning stiff, but refreshed.  Selene woke first, to the knocking at the door not long after dawn where a maid delivered the dress she'd asked to be cleaned and pressed by the morning.  Jasine was up before the door shut again once they had both washed he stepped out so she could get dressed.  He asked at the kitchens for breakfast to be brought up to their room, hot rolls and bowls of a warm oatmeal sweetened with sliced peaches.  They ate in a comfortable silence and then packed up their things to leave.  Selene sighed softly as she gathered up the cards that had spilled to the floor from the bed when they'd fallen asleep the night before and when she stood back up with them Jase hugged her quickly and smiled.

 

"Let's go see about making you an Aes Sedai."

[Quisalas Selene]

They rode to the tower and instead of stopping at the front doors and going in, they went to the stables together, leading their mounts.  They hadn't spoken since the Inn, everything had pretty much been said.  Jasine spoke quietly with a young boy and then he stabled their horses side by side.  Selene looked a little confused when Jase took her tack with him and took them to the walled-off room that held the various saddles that served this barn's horses.  Their saddles were fine saddles, well made and long-lasting.  But they looked shabby and undeserving in this barn of high-cantled, fancy, and silver- and gold-inlaid finery.  He set the tack in place, ran a fond hand over the buttery soft leather that had served him well this trip, and silently promised to be back later in the day to clean and oil it properly.  She was looking up at Jasine when he returned and then asked quietly, "Why did you put your tack in the room too?"

 

Jasine smiled and gently set a hand on his sister's shoulder. "I'm not going back home, 'Ene.  I'm going to stay here in Tar Valon, and try to get employed by the Tower Guard.  Maybe even become a warder.  If nothing else, I know horses well enough that I'll be sure to find work tending them, nearby.  You won't be alone and you'll be able to find me if you need me."  He smiled again, as she smiled too, and then they hugged.  She held onto him tight, and he gently pat her hair, left free today.  He smooched the top of her head and he left her go, trying to scrub the tears off her cheeks where he couldn't see, but that was impossible.  He pulled his kerchief out of his pocket and offered it to her, so she wouldn't have to go into the Tower with a hanky that was already wetted and sniffly.  Then she offered it back and he tucked it back away.

 

"Bye Jase.  Thank you for coming with you.  And thank you... for.. being my brother."  She smile at him and blinked away the moisture from her eyes.  He stayed there, by their horses, as she turned and walked back towards the tower.  Now it was his turn to pet a horse that did not need soothing while he collected himself.

 

After a few moments he turned and strode off, to find someone who knew where he should be and who he should talk to about being able to stay.

 

[Talavin]

The afternoon sun beat down on the Yards mercilessly, relentlessly attacking the poor inhabitants of the Grounds. Today was the kind of day that had the trainees and Tower Guards reluctant to go outside. However, Arath was not like most Tower Guards, and he welcomed the challenge, even if the saner part of his brain begged him to go inside. He was currently doing agillity excersizes very near to the wall, for at this time of day right next to the high wall was the best place to train in the shade. Arath mentally went over everything that he had to do today. He had already done his daily run, for he knew that the day would be hot and so he did it in the cool morning. Right now he was training his agillity, and would spend hours running back and forth, especially since his recent encounter with his fellow trainee Melenis.

 

Soon, he would switch from agillity training to working on his sword forms, and from there do his daily crunches, pull ups, squats, ext, when the afternoon heat faded. Out of the corner of his eye, Arath saw ,a boy leaving the stables, but ignored him. Plenty of people walked around the yards all day and Arath could not be bothered to stop and observe each one. He went on with his training without even giving the boy a second glance, likely he would just continue onto his room to get out of the heat. After about ten more minutes of the agillity training, he drew his sword and began going through the forms. Arath started grasping his sword in a neutral stance, neither foot in front of the other. His right hand was further up the hild than his left, hinting that he was right handed. His body was relaxed, his hands at his waist and his head slumped down. He calmed himself, attaining the clear headedness and mental focus needed for his Me'Arearth disipline.

 

Finally, he raised his head, as well as his hands, and stepping forward preformed The Boar Rushes Down the Mountain, a simple but powerful overhead strike. Then, he imediately pivoted on his right foot and preformed Low Wind Rising, a diagonal slash going from low to high, now facing where his left shoulder was pointing previously. Arath continued dancing through the forms gracefully, attempting to make the motions second nature, visuallizing an enemy attacking him as he fought. Also, he began adding in his own adaptations to make his unique style. Arath was short, and used that to his advantage. His sword was short, and so he moved very quickly, instead of blocking his imaginary opponent's strikes, he would lightly deflect them while moving forwards, into the strike, instead of away from it. The practice was very dangerous, and so he would have to be fast, much faster than his opponents, and he couldn't afford to loose focus for an instant. However, the results would be deadly.

 

Finally, swinging to a stop, Arath noticed the boy he had seen earlier, staring at him with an interested look on his face. It didn't take him long, now that he was really looking at him, to see that the other young man was not a trainee yet. He did not wear the uniform required of all trainees, and he looked lost, like he wasn't used to the large expanses of the Yards. Approaching the boy, Arath sheathed his sword. "Hello, I'm Arath Talavin, are you new here?"

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine ran a hand through his dark blonde hair, pushing it back out of his eyes and thinking to himself that he might be due for a trim sometime soon.  It was too hot in the summer to have hair hanging in your eyes and getting in your way.  He pulled a leather cord out of his satchel and tied it back as well as he could, most of the hair too short to stay back.  Shaking his hair back again, he moved away from the Tower entrance, hoping to find someone who knew where he should be or anything that looked like an office of some sort.  He adjusted his belt, snugging it against his hips since he had worn it loose while riding, and for the first time realized that an unknown person armed with a sword might not be exactly welcomed.  He started to rest his hand on his hilt, it was comfortable there after long weeks of watchfulness, but then adjusted, letting it hang loose at his side, less threatening.

 

He stopped as he came across someone, a short man Possibly Cairheinin? doing exercises against the wall encircling the Tower grounds.  He has the coloring of an Andorman. He stopped to watch from shade of the stable, one head tipped slightly to the side as he studied, watching the smooth and practiced movement of muscles as the man worked.  Jasine wondered if this was the sort of thing he would be spending the next few weeks and months of his life doing, exercising and honing his body into a weapon.  He didn't really know what to expect of being a warder other than protecting Aes Sedai and fighting the Shadow.  As the man stood up straight and pulled a short, lightly curved blade and began practicing with it Jasine moved forward, into the sun and watching carefully.  He started to wonder why the man was using such a short blade but was distracted from the thought by marveling at the smooth flow of body from one form to the next.  The boy, and he could see now that he wasn't a whole lot older than Jasine himself, looked almost to be dancing, with an invisible enemy as his fierce partner.

 

As the boy finished and then addressed him Jasine cleared his throat and colored slightly, realizing he had been quite openly staring.  He stiffened, knees together, and bent from the waist and a slight but precise bow and nodded. "I am new, I've only just arrived." He stepped forward and offered his hand to Arath in greeting and then said "I'm Jasine Al'Thorin, a fellow Andorman."  He could tell from the accent and name that Talavin wasn't a Cairheinin, so he was simply shorter than average. He smiled warmly as he spoke. "Perhaps you could help me to where it is I need to go?  I think I'd like to learn to be a Warder."

[Talavin]

The not-yet-trainee was obviously not of low birth. It was the first thing that Arath noticed about Jasine. When you grew up a low classed peasent boy barely off the streets in Caemlyn, the first thing you were taught was how to recoginze your higher ups. The way he bowed, practiced and crisp, and the way he introduced himself spoke volumes. Arath now did the same, but that was because he was trained by the Tower Guards. Tower Guards came from all lands and classes, but the first thing you learned was to forget everything you once knew and learn to live, breathe, and act the way a Tower Guard is supposed to. Arath felt a small surge of dark glee at having this person, who was once a higher standing than he, bow to him, but he supressed it imediately, letting nothing show on his face.

 

"Of course, the first person you need to meet is the Mistress of Trainees. Be polite, she's tough as nails and will chew you up and spit you out even if you are being polite, but it's better than the alternitive. And remember, you aren't training to become a warder, you're training to become a Tower Guard. If an Aes' Sedai happens to take an interest in you and wants to bond you, then good for you, but you aren't the one who makes that decision. Aes' Sedai choose their Warders, not the other way around. But on a lighter note, you shouldn't have any trouble enrolling, the Mistress rarely, if ever, turns anyone away, not at first. Just follow the rules because enrolling is just as easy as getting kicked out. The Tower doesn't pay to train those who won't train themselves," Arath lectured, deciding to give the soon-to-be trainee a bit of advice.

 

"But on a lighter note, right over there is the cafeteria, it's public and the food is free- the best kind," of course, depending on how highly this boy was raised, he might disagree; however, Arath knew from experience of not always having sufficient food on the table that free food was the best food. "Over to the right are the Baracks, where you'll be rooming for a while. You're free to use the Yards to train, but don't interfere with other people's training, especially not now that you can't defend yourself. They won't be too hard on you, else the Mistress will have their hides, but they'll make you learn the hard way.

 

"Aha, here we are, any questions before you submit yourself to a woman's mercy?"

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine swallowed nervously as Arath described the Mistress of Trainees.  The woman sounded as bad as the Aes Sedai from the Inn; that little encounter had left Jasine feeling like a bumbling fool and he'd split his chin open in the process.  The cut made a handy little reminder that men with ill-intentions or swords weren't the only danger a lad could run into.  He ran a finger lightly over it as Arath spoke, nodding every so often as he agreed or understood a particular point.  The description of what his place would be, training to be a Tower Guard instead of a warder specifically made sense.  Jasine had never really considered what he would do if he was not allowed to train to become a Ward-- rather, to become a Tower Guard. 

 

The mention of free food brought a grin to Jasine's face.  They'd never gone without food at home, but being the only boy in a house of girls meant that he never got to stuff himself properly without tattles to Mum, teasing, and quite frequently, threats of being sent to tend the stables for being a pig.  Jasine was starting to like the idea of living out from under the thumb of meddlesome women.  Jasine obviously hadn't yet thought of the gleaming white Tower as being full of meddlesome women. He listened raptly, eyes focused mostly on the other boy and only looking away when he pointed to a specific landmark Jasine would do his best to remember. 

 

He paused, seriously thinking at the last question, wondering what he could possibly ask.  He'd like to ask the man a million questions about customs and rules and freedoms, but he figured the Mistress of Novices was the one who would answer all of those for him.  With a smile, he said "Just two.  One, want to be friends?  And Two, does the Mistress of Trainees happen to be available?  Sometimes a little charm can go a long way towards making a woman treat you a bit kinder." He winked at Arath, his smile quickly turning into a mischievous grin.

[Talavin]

OOC: Honestly, I don't know if she would be amused or angry, but for the sake of RP, Arath is going to assume angry.

 

IC: Well, the offer of friendship was nice, and not unwelcomed, but the last part... Arath went bug-eyed and choked on his own saliva. Charm!?! The Mistress of Trainees!... Once the initial shock wore off, Arath began laughing uproarusly, so hard that tears streamed from his eyes. "Light... charm the... the...Mistress of Trainees!" Arath collapsed into another fit of laughter. "You poor, poor man. As your only friend in the Yards, I will take it upon myself to arrange your funeral. Here lies the Ligh-blinded fool who tried to charm the Thera, Mistress of Trainees."

 

Arath waited for his breath to even and wiped his eyes. "But seriously now," Arath said with a solemn face, "Don't." He didn't need to add any more warning, if Jasine was dumb enough to do that, then he was the only one who would suffer. "But I don't mind the first one, just find me if you need some help, or something like that." It had been a long time since Arath had had any real friends, and he didn't know what else he was supposed to say, so he ended it there. "Anyway, like I said, polite, determined, but not cocky, and don't worry, she won't kill you... yet."

 

And with an evil grin at the other boy, Arath raised his fist and knocked firmly on the wooden door. He didn't bang, because banging would be rude, but he politely knocked just enough so that it wouldn't sound timid. He could practically smell Jasine's anxiety next to him, but just grinned again. "Ok, nice meeting you, but here is where I leave you, I've got places to be and things to do. Good luck!"

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine enjoyed laughing along with the older boy, feeling the kinks and stress of his trip and the parting with his sister melt away a little bit.  Once he caught his breath, it was an easier, lighter breath than he's drawn for some time.  He was still smiling through Arath's warning and advice, but he would take it to heart.  Light, for all he knew the woman could be a 70 year old spinster who might send him off on some horrible chore just for winking at her.  Then again...

 

Jase clasped hands with Arath again, smiling warmly as he spoke. "Thank you for this, friend.  I hope I'll have the chance to practice and train with you, there is much that I am sure you could teach me.  If I live through the meeting with the Mistress, that is."

 

He nodded to the man once more at his final words and then clasped his hands loosely behind his back, feet parted to shoulder width in the parade rest he had seen merchant guards adopt when they were standing around waiting for something further to do.  At least the goods ones, he'd seen just as many if not more simply slouch against whatever surface would hold their weight.  He tosses his head lightly, willing the dark blonde hair to stay back out of his eyes and waited for the answer to the knock patiently.

 

[Eqwina]

The sky was still dark when Thera woke up that morning; she had been far too excited to sleep. Most mornings she was up with sun and cranky about it, but this morning with the stars still twinkling Thera had on a smile. The reason? A twilight eyed little vixen she’d met the evening prior. The exchange had only been a few words, but it had left Thera with her heart in the throat. It was unlikely to settled back into its rightful place until after her date.

 

In the almost 13 years since she’d been bonded Thera had hardly look at anyone in “that” way. The few nights she had spent in someone else’s arms had been based on revenge and spite, not lust.

 

This close Serena would be able to feel Thera’s excitement and for once Thera would not let herself care. She would take care of her own happiness first. Though she could not help but glance in the direction of the Tower as she threw back her covers.

 

Throwing open her wardrobe Thera thumbed through her shirts and wrinkled her nose. Cream, White, and Tan the only colors she ever wore, nothing else was practical after all. Choosing out a cream silk shirt she began to paw through her coats and pants. Pale tan that fit her like a second skin went on first, then her cream silk shirt and a dark tan coat with a hint of embroidery that hit her at mid hip. She toped it off with knee high boots that had been polished until they shone.

Thera even managed to reign in her wild curls. She was perfection today!

 

Strolling out into her office Thera smiled. Not even the waist high stack of papers could dampen her mood today. Thera Trakelyn was going to be in a fantastic mood today and too the pit of doom with anyone who tried to wreck that. No sooner than she had the thought than a knock sounded at her door.

 

Thera strolled to the door casually and flung it open. Come in Come in A smile! Even for a new trainee. Sit down and tell me about yourself

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine did not know what to expect from the Mistress of Trainees.  That she was a woman in charge of an unruly bunch of relatively young and virile boys was a given, but what that said about her was not. He wondered idly what kind of woman would take on a role like this and what that might mean of her personality in the brief moments he had to wait before his knock was answered.

 

He had not expected her to be so pretty.  A muscle-bound, hulking beast of a woman perhaps.  A nagging old crone who got her way through mean threats of menial labor and perhaps a cane?  He had even entertained the thought that she might be a grandmotherly sort of woman, the kind of person who inspires obedience and motivation through earning the respect and love of those under her.  Not this young woman who was smaller than his sister!  Well, smaller may not be the exact right word, considering she was heavier with her musculature, but she was definitely shorter. 

 

Suddenly his joke to Arath about flirting with the Mistress didn't seem like such a far-fetched concept. 

 

Having been raised with five sisters, four of them older than he, Jasine was notably paranoid about being caught eyeing a girl by another girl.  Few things were as embarrassing and as potentially painful as a girl with her ire up - whether she was the subject of the appreciative looks or not.  It took every bit of his sister-inspired schooling to keep his assessment of the Mistress of Trainees to a single quick look before he bowed with stiff crispness and spoke with an easy friendliness that didn't do much more than hint at deference. "Jasine Al'Thorin, Mistress, of Four Kings in Andor.  I've come to train to serve the White Tower, Mistress."  He smiled as he finished speaking, making eye contact and trying to remain businesslike and professional in spite of his surprise at having found such a thoroughly pleasant woman, both in appearance and demeanor. 

[Eqwina]

Thera arched a brow at the young man that prostrated himself in front of her. He was confident and yet showed proper respect, not at all the type that usually darkened her door. Perhaps kind words and a smile did more than she ever expect.

 

“Welcome young Jasine of Andor, come in and perhaps we will speak more of you joining my trainee’s” It felt strange to address a trainee in such a kind way, but it was best to continue on as she began, Thera decided, lest she look like a fool. Deciding that today was the day for change Thera did not lead Jasine to her desk. Instead she escorted him over to the scarcely used chairs in front of her fireplace. They had spent very many years gathering dust, while Thera had stayed chained to her desk.

 

She smiled again as they took their seats, eyeing the young man approvingly. He reminded her very much of a man she had known many years ago.

 

“ Tell me Jasine, why is it that you believe you want to train with the warders? A generic question, but a way to break the ice.

 

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine sat as she bid him to, suddenly wondering if flirting with the Mistress was going to get him in over his head.  The way she was looking at him, he swallowed quickly and his smile was less smooth, but no less genuine.  Deciding to forge ahead as he had begun, he sat upright, but with his muscles relaxed, and spoke. "Thank you for the welcome, Mistress.  I wish to train with the warders because there is no finer group of combatants in the world and there is no cause more noble than to fight the shadow.  In serving the Aes Sedai, whether as a guard protecting the Tower or as an eventual Warder, I would be bettering myself through training and then could apply that training to a good cause."

 

He paused a moment, a fleeting expression darkening his countenance, before he continued. "I have managed, through stupid luck more than anything, to save a life on my journey to Tar Valon by taking another.  I do not like to think of how that could have gone badly, and what it would have meant for someone I care deeply for.  I wish to be able to rely upon skill and ability instead of luck to help people in the future.  My sister is in the Tower, learning to one day be an Aes Sedai.  I am tied to the Tower whether you accept me or turn me away.  It is simply my hope to be able to serve it and the Light in my own way, as she will."

His feet shifted and he looked down to his hands clasped loosely on his lap, a touch embarrassed at having spoken for such length.  He set his jaw and then smiled as he looked back up and made eye contact with Thera.  The only visible sign that he might be thinking of her as a woman and not just a superior was in the light flush that crept up from his collar and feathered across his cheeks.

[Eqwina]

Thera could not help but smile at the words she had heard so many times before; but her smile slipped slightly as the “story” took an unexpected turn. She had killed a number of people since being bonded to Serena, but somehow it seemed horrible coming from one so young. Not thinking Thera reached over and patted his hand, and was surprised when his cheeks reddened.

 

“Rest assured Jasine, here you will learn every skill you will need to complement that luck of yours.” 

 

Uncrossing and recrossing her legs Thera glanced at the clock on the mantle and smiled. Only a few more hours…. “As for you being tied to the Tower; it is commendable that you want to stay with your sister, but you must know that she will face many things in her new life that you will be unable to protect her from.” Her voice grew softer and sounded almost sweet. “I do not wish to discourage you, only to make sure that you know the truth of her situation. She is a part of the Tower now, much in the way that you will be..and yet your worlds are very far apart.” Her words were honest and from the heart; even being bonded to a sister did not give her any real incite into life within the Tower and among Aes Sedai. All she knew was that even living with in the same shining walls did not make her part of her sister world.

 

Gathering herself Thera plastered her face with a smile once again. “Enough of that kind of talk. You are about to begin a new chapter in your life; something exciting and scary all at the same time.” Rising she walked to the tray containing lightly spice wine and poured two cups, handing the first to Jasine.

“ So I know the reason why you are here” she smiled sweetly. “Please tell me more about the how. How did you come to Tar Valon? Was your journey hard? Did you leave a large family back home?”

 

Was it entirely proper to be sitting chatting over wine with a new recruit? No, but today Thera did not care. Nothing was going to spoil her good mood.

 

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine didn't like to think about the life he had ended, regardless of what the man had done, and intended to do, with his sister.  He could still very easily see the red spreading across the man's shirt, the blood on his blade as the man fell free of the steel and landed in the dust of the road.  He was glad he hadn't been required to get close to the man after he had died, his imagination troubled him enough as to what the man's face may have looked like in death.  As she stood up and turned away he rose too, one hand lightly touching the other where she had briefly put her hand on his.  He felt the blush creeping up again and forced it down by thinking again of why she had touched him, the death that had caused the sympathy.

 

"I understand, Mistress, that my sister and I are unlikely to see each other.  She was my reason for coming to Tar Valon, but she is not my main reason for staying.  She is more like my... inspiration for staying.  She is doing something great and meaningful with her like, and if little 'Ene can make a decision like that to live a life beyond our parents' horse farm, to dedicate herself to helping people and actively fighting the shadow and working for the light, then I think I can too. I never wanted to be a farmer anyway." He smiled kind of sheepishly at this and blushed again, trying not to come off as too idealistic with this woman who had shown him such open honesty and kindness. 

 

“Enough of that kind of talk. You are about to begin a new chapter in your life; something exciting and scary all at the same time.”

 

He tried to protest that he should be serving her, she was a lady, but the words caught in his throat.  He should not be thinking of Thera as a lady, she was his supervisor, his boss.  He took the cup with a dip of his head to her, murmuring a quiet thanks and waiting for her to sit once more before he lowered himself back into the chair and took a sip.  The spiced wine was something new, he'd only ever had ale before, and taking a deep drink of it helped ease the tightness in his throat so that he could speak.

 

"We rode here, Mistress.  All the way from Four Kings, which is just west of Caemlyn.  My gelding is in the stable next to Selene's filly, properly brushed down and fed and watered.  We're horse people, 'Ene and I, and neither one of us would have left the stable without seeing that our steeds were taken care of. It took us several weeks to get here, including one week where I was laid up with a nasty fever while 'Ene cared for me.  That was after.. the guy... " He trailed off and then cleared his throat before taking another drink of the wine. "The trip wasn't terribly hard, we stayed in Inns more often than not, and it was fantastic to be out in the world." His eyes lit up with excitement and he grinned boyishly as he leaned forward, talking animately.

 

"There's so much out there in the world, so many different people. We've seen statues and uniformed guards looked so pristine and orderly, grand buildings, and I'd seen white bridge before but I was amazed when I got here and saw the Tower.  It's so tall and beautiful.  I even saw a domani woman in Tar Valon and her dress-" He colored suddenly, realizing suddenly that this was a woman he was talking to, "It was very elegant, I've never seen such pretty... fabric." He felt it a lame way to end the sentence, but he took another long drink of the wine to give him a moment before he had to speak again. "What you said about this being something exciting and scary all at the same time if very true for me.  I'm very happy to have met you, Thera." He leaned forward in his chair and lightly rested his free hand on her knee, making eye contact with some effort, trying to ignore the blush creeping up from his collar to darken his cheeks. "Your warmth and kindness has been a very refreshing surprise.  It's a comfort to know that someone as kind as you will be... close to me, as I'm learning."  He went to take another drink of the wine and was surprised to find the cup empty.

[Eqwina]

A small smiled played on Thera’s lips and her fingers slowly twirled the wine cup in her hands; her eyes fairly sparkling with the memories of her own journey to Tar Valon so many years passed. Back then she had thought that Andor and Caemlyn were as large as the world could be; her eyes had been wide for a week upon arriving in Tar Valon from trying to stare at all the wonders at once.

 

Something in Jasine’s words broke through her own memories. “I even saw a domani woman in Tar Valon and her dress-" and for what felt like the hundredth time that day, she laughed; then gave the young man a wink over her wine cup. A Domani indeed! Any young man away from home for the first time would be in awe of that. Thera thought trying to keep from busting out again, but achance she’d had was over when the young man complemented the fabric.

 

Thera was still trying to control her laughter when Jasine leaned over and rested his hand on her knee.

 

Kind? Warm?.... Those two words had never been used to describe her before, in fact most people said quite the opposite. Her very own bonded had often called her a “cold heartless and unfeeling woman”. At that moment she surely felt something, and like throughout most of her life she acted without thought. Reaching down she laid her hand over the boys and met his eyes with a smile. “You can never know how much those words have meant to me Jasine, and perhaps with you I will be able to live up to them.” Holding her curls back from her face Thera leaned in and kissed the new trainee on each cheek.

 

Looking into his flushed face Thera thought perhaps, this time, she had gone too far. The bright crimson that stained Jasine’s face would have shamed a Tinker.

 

Pulling her hand away she sat down her wine cup and stood up taking only a moment to straighten her coat. The way his eyes followed her every motion made Thera all too aware of how tight her pants were and how short her coat. Unaccustomed to thinking of herself as a woman, Thera had always assumed that no one else saw her that way. 

 

For all the world like they were courting, Jasine offered Thera his arm as they walked the short distance to her desk; and he did not take his seat until she was settled.

 

“You must be hard pressed to beat the girls off with a stick if you are always so…congenial” She said, as she pulled out the heavy roster book.

 

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine flushed at her laughter, sure that this woman must have known what he was really thinking about with the Domani woman, but he was amazed and thrilled to see that she didn't clout his ears as his sisters might have.  He was surprised at her reaction to being called warm and kind, and he wondered if by some miracle he had caught this fascinating woman in a mood that was not her typical one.  Talavin had certainly seemed to expect the woman to be hard and mean, but Jasine had seen no sign of it. 

 

Jasine flushed as she kissed him, even as a small voice inside him scolded him for not taking the opportunity to turn his head and catch the woman's soft lips against his own.  It was this thought as much as the kiss himself that made his flush deepen from pink to crimson, he was not used to thinking of himself as an outright lecher.  But... he didn't feel like a lecher.  He felt alive and warm and happy and a little bit dizzy.  He didn't think a single glass of wine was enough to account for the light-headed warmth that suffused through him and he decided that surely the cause of this wonderful feeling was the woman herself.  Thera.  He felt the relative coldness of the warmth of her hand leaving his acutely and as his hand fell from her knee while she rose his eyes followed her movement. "I do not doubt your ability to live up to anything you chose to, Mistress."

He breathed in deeply as he took her arm, taking in the warm, earthly scent of her.  He didn't want to be obvious about it, smelling a woman was a very personal thing, but he couldn't keep himself from doing so.  Her scent mixed with the emotions he already felt for her, amplifying the vapid happiness that swirled through his head and making it hard to think.  He flushed again as he waited for her to sit, feeling guilty and voyeuristic for noticing the lovely view from above as Thera settled into her chair.  He cast his eyes away immediately, folding into his chair with the same easy grace that marked most of movements, the precision he usually strived for softened and loosened by the wine.   

 

“You must be hard pressed to beat the girls off with a stick if you are always so…congenial”

"I have often contemplated the use of sticks on my sisters, but I'm quite sure whatever I did to them would be returned to me ten fold by Da, Mum, and my sisters themselves.  One should never underestimate the ability of a seemingly fragile woman to cause her brother unending pain." Jasine grinned to take the sting off his words, he really did care for his sisters, even when they were insufferable. "But I find it remarkably easy to be congenial around a woman like you, Mistress Thera.  I could not ever imagine wishing to push you away from me, with or without a stick." 

 

He gazed at the roster as she brought it out, hoping that by adding his name to its long history of trainees, tower guards, and warders wouldn't drive a wedge between him and this woman he was just coming to know and enjoy.  He had decided he would do this, serving the Tower, and for the first time he was conflicted about it.  He debated, silently and internally about whether the chance to get to know Thera better as a man might not be more important to him than this service he had chosen for himself.  With a deep breath, he decided he would have to see if the two could be balanced together, backing away from his duty, self-imposed or not, would not make him any more attractive in her eyes and he would feel the shame of shirking his responsibilities almost as acutely as he would feel the loss of this woman.

 

A tiny voice cautioned Jasine not to give his heart away, that it could be hurt.  But the voice was very tiny indeed and he spoke over it. "I put myself wholly into your hands, Mistress of Trainees."

[Eqwina]

A familiar tingle soared up Thera’s spine, making her heartbeat echo in her ears and a ruby flush paint her cheeks. Hands that had not trembled in a decade ached to do so as they clung tight together; thankfully concealed by her desk.Thera watched Jasine as he spoke, and found herself wondering if his soft lips would feel like satin on her skin. Her clenched hands fairly ached with the desire to reach out, yet all the while a tiny voice, barely heard, whispered fiercely trying to make her see how wrongheaded she was being. A sudden jolt, a tremor in the bond sent even the young ripe Jasine from her head.

 

Serena was angry, her blood must have been boiling to send the emotion so strong and so sharp. But what was underneath the raging inferno was what made Thera’s caramel colored eyes pop. Beneath all the anger was jealousy, sharp and ripe. Just then it sunk in, the beating heart, trembling hands, a face that felt like fire. It had been so many years since she’d sensed anything close to these emotions that they caught her completely off guard.

 

Had she not been seated Thera would have hit the floor.

 

All of the walls of anger and bitterness that she’d hid behind for what felt like 100 years had been toppled in the span of one afternoon. It was if her world had been toppled and sat upside down. Allowing her hands freedom Thera reached across the desk and fumbled for Jasine’s hand. A pure terror painted her face as her mind struggled to rebuild.

 

“ I need..I need your name an country of origin for the books” she mumbled, the words tumbling from her mouth by rote. Clumsy hands left his and found the pen holding  it poised above the page..waiting. She had to rebuild… the voice was louder now almost shouting. The louder it shouted the more Thera heard. She was a rock, a fortress and no set of pretty eyes could break her walls It may have been only moments, but it felt like a lifetime before she could bring herself to speak again.

“Jasine..Perhaps this is not the best time. I seem to be feeling a trifle sick, perhaps you could leave me and come back in an hour, by then I may be….better able to…handle..you.” Her words stumbled off her tongue, but Thera forced herself to meet his eyes. She was at least 10 years his senior, his teacher, his boss, no matter her feelings she had to keep it together. Thera had not fallen apart in years and she did not want today to be that day.

 

Looking into his eyes she could see his hurt and confusion, but for all of her she could do nothing to sooth him. In a few moments he had broken down the walls that she’d hidden behind for years, a thing not even Serena had been able to do. Thera was scared and she felt completely alone. There was no one she could talk to, no shoulder to cry on and she felt the isolation keenly.

 

Jasine had still not moved, his eyes held hers showing such compassion and strength that could only come from one so young. “Oh Jasine,… I have done you a great disservice and for that I cannot be more sorry; but you have stirred emotions in me, however improper that I have not felt in…well in many years.” Her cheeks heated as she spoke, embarrassed to be sharing her thoughts with a young man,… a trainee. “I ask you to allow me to make things right. I’ll write your name in the roster and we can for….forget that today ever happened.” Oh how it burned, but Thera held hard to being strong. She could not care for this young man, she would not allow it. All she had to do now was smile, sign his name in the books and avoid him as if he had the plague. The pen was still held poised, trembling above the page.

 

[Quisalas Selene]

"My name is Jasine Al'Thorin from Four Kings in Andor, and I think I'm in love with you, Thera."  He couldn't quite make his voice much more than a whisper. He was touched, deeply, that she should show such vulnerability in front of him, somehow understanding that this break in her composure was not at all her norm.  Her fragility made him want to protect her and care for her, and gave him the strength to be forward.

 

Jasine rose from his chair and moved around the desk to Thera's side, dropping to one knee as his hands found hers, plucking the pen from her trembling fingers, he set it down beside the book and then folded her hands into his.  He held her hands firmly, pulled close to his chest, and looked up into her flushed face with gentle compassion and a sudden burning determination not to allow this woman to push him away. "I will never forget today has happened, I could not and still remain an honest person.  It would be dishonest and dishonorable to try to convince myself that you mean nothing to me, and that I mean nothing to you.  Whatever you require of me I will do, anything at all, except this.  I cannot and will not forget you, your kindness, or the soft touch of your lips upon my skin." 

 

He moved their joined hands and leaned his cheek against the back of one of her hands, maintaining eye contact. "I did not expect these emotions to happen when I came through that door today, but I won't deny them." He shifted and held both of her hands in one of his, not so tight that she couldn't get loose if she really tried, and cupped her cheek with his free hand.  His eyes glistened wetly, tears standing still in them that hadn't fallen yet.  His eyes begged her not to turn him away, not to hurt him.  "Please, whatever it is that is causing you such distress, let me help you through it."  He gently rubbed his thumb across her cheek and then pulled her toward him to kiss her, lightly and gently.

[Eqwina]

Oh Light! Oh Light! the voice chanted, all anger gone; panic filling her to bursting.

 

All the warning signs had been given…his confidence, the small smiles, his blushing, his approving eye. And still Thera had been blindsided. Closing her eyes to hide from her shame Thera leaned into his tender embrace.

 

Oh Light she was weak! her conscious screamed. She had known that fact about herself long before this day, but she’d never known that she would crumble like this. Thera had never been able to summon strength for herself, but she had to do it for this young man. He could not possibly know what loving her would mean. Letting her hands remain in his she leaned in and brushed Jasine’s lips with another kiss. His gentle grip on her hands was all that kept her from tangling her fingers in his hair and making a decision they could both regret. After only a moment she pulled back, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes.

 

“ You cannot love me Jasine, you barely know me. You are a long way from home and to you I must seem mysterious and worldly” Hands more accustomed to a sword that to a gentle caress reached up and lightly brushed his cheek. “ But I am just a warrior like any other who has dedicated their life to the White Tower, and to a Sister. On any day I would give my life to protect either from harm. With that duty ingrained deep with in me there is very little left for anyone to love.” Her voice trailed off, surprised at how honest she was able to be. “ I will not lie to you….just by walking in that door today you sparked the small part of me that remembered being a woman, and it was amazing. But you have to know that no matter how much I may wish things could be different…..you and I could never be. I am the Mistress of Trainee’s and for the time being your boss and your mentor. I cannot lov…care for you.”

 

Her voice cracked at the last and a single tear escaped her caramel colored eyes. His feelings and her actions were wrong on so many levels, the fact that she had allowed herself to break down was only another example of her unfitness to lead. She had thought many times about resigning her post as Mistress of Trainee’s, but the fact was she loved the Tower and without this job she had no other reason to stay. Her bonded had scorned her, and Thera was sure she would be released of her bond any day…. without this post the Tower would hold nothing but heartache and bad memories. So, Thera clung to a position that gave her headaches in hopes of keeping the Tower as her home.

 

“ I am sorry Jasine, but what I did here today and what I have allowed you to see is…..improper. It could damage my standing as well as your own.” Thera struggled through the tears and tried to make her voice light. “You wouldn’t want to be known as the teacher’s pet now would you?” She hoped that Jasine could not see how much this hurt her, but she so feared that her pain was painted on her face. Thera’s eyes met his hoping to catch some sign of what he felt, but all she could read was a mirror of her own pain. How had things come to this?

 

[Quisalas Selene]

It's not me, it's not me she's fighting against so hard.  She's not just fighting against "us," but she's fighting for something as well.  Something that means a lot to her, something that means enough to her to make her cry. He sniffled, unaware of the moisture that threatened to blur his vision but had as of yet not fallen.  He brushed his thumb against her cheek, wiping away the tears that stood in her lashes and wished deeply that he could have as easily wiped away her pain.  And his.

 

He listened carefully to her, catching the things unspoken as much as the things she said outright, paying attention to how she said things most of all.  She said he was amazing.  She wished they could be together.  She was unwilling to say she couldn't love him.  He hadn't misread her, he wasn't being horribly presumptuous, he wasn't just a fool child, and he knew he wasn't.  Then again, what teenager doesn't know he's always right? Especially in affairs of the heart.  Right now, right at this moment, he wanted nothing in the world so much as to be exactly what she chided him for, teacher's pet.  Whatever the name applied to it, if he was hers, it was what he wanted.

 

He said none of this.  He could keep the confusion, hurt, and hope from warring with each other across his expression and especially in his eyes.  He was no stone-faced mannequin, painted expression revealing only what he chose, and he had so little experience in these emotions.  He hadn't even let himself think of girls like this ever since he'd lost her and he certainly hadn't expected it to happen here and now.  He closed his eyes tightly as she pulled back away from him, fighting to find somewhere within him the strength to do what he knew was right. 

 

He tried to talk twice and couldn't manage it.  Emotions he couldn't even identify had choked up his throat and made anything beyond breathing impossible and even that simple action a struggle.  Finally he managed voice enough to whisper to her, his tone full of hurt and love and even more than either one, respect. "I care little for my own standing, as of right now I'm as far down as a trainee can be, aren't I?  But your standing... I couldn't ask you to risk that for-" his voice broke in a way it hadn't for almost a year and a half now and his blushed with embarrassment of an entirely different kind before clearing his throat Smooth, Jase, way to sound 14 and trying again.  His voice was a little more steady this time, his eyes finding hers and holding steady as he stared into their depths. "Not for me.  I can't change how I feel, Thera." He marveled at the feel of her name on his lips, a thought that surprised him even as he tried to shove it away and maintain his focus. "I couldn't change it and I'd never want to.  I didn't know I could feel like this for anyone... and maybe it's just a crush and maybe it's not, but if I don't let myself feel than I'm not different from a fade, emotionless and without even the ability to love."  He said this last word softly, almost as a plea.

 

"Kiss me again, Thera.  Kiss me and tell me that you cannot love.  I'll understand if you tell me you will not, I'll understand if you tell me that you won't let yourself.  But I wouldn't believe for all the horses in Tear that you can't." His eyes pleaded with her to take his challenge, to kiss him again.  It was almost as if he believed a single kiss could break her resolve and get her to let him love her.  "Kiss me just once more, and tell me the truth.  And then, even if you tell me I'm right and you do feel for me, I'll let you-" He hitched in a breath and repeated it, squeezing her hand once as he spoke. "I'll let you go."

[Eqwina]

Why were the young always so willing to grasp at love quickly and throw it away in the blink of an eye?

 

Thera made herself meet his eyes, trying to form the image of him as the child he was. Try as she would the image wouldn’t come. Then, something he had said struck a cord in her and with a regretful sigh she pulled away.

 

“Right at this moment Jasine, I would like nothing more than to fall into your arms and allow your kiss and your embrace to wash away my pain, but I cannot. If anyone were to discover us I would be stripped of my position and you would find a very long road to being a Tower Guard.” Thera licked her lips and closed her eyes, suddenly ashamed that she was bearing her soul to a child. Pressing her palms to her eyes she tried to clear her head and will away her tears. No matter what she told herself, her conscious knew that she thought of this young man as more than just a child. It was improper and wrong, but then most of the choices she had made through out her life had been such.

 

Blinking away more tears Thera began again, struggling to make Jasine understand the turmoil that resided within her. “In time I think I could love you Jasine. Already you have made an impression on me that will last a lifetime, but you have to understand what a life of loving me would mean.”

 

Now was the time to see if she could be strong and do what had to be done, instead of leaping straight to what she wanted.

 

Her hands trembled only slightly as she wiped away the boy’s tears and gripped one of his hands within her own. Her thumbs gentled massaged his palm and she leaned in close, letting her curls fall around both their faces. It was time….

 

“If you are convinced that you love me then there are some things you must understand. For now our…relationship would have to be..quiet, kept under lock and key. Then in time, once you were raised to a Tower Guard we could be somewhat more…. free. But my first duty will always be to my students, my sister, and the tower and your hours will be filled on campaigns and guarding the wall. Any hours left over could be ours and as long as our duties never suffered most would look the other way….”

 

Thera’s stomach felt as if she’d been beaten and her heart ached as if it were being ripped from her chest. She knew she had to paint a picture of their lives that no on could want; she had to do it for him. She would save him from the heartache that she herself had already suffered. If only it did not mean causing herself more pain.

 

“..but you understand that no sister would ever bond a man who’s heart and loyalty belonged to another. How could she and ever really feel safe putting her life in his hands? And…if ,by some chance a sister could over look “our love” could you put yourself where the fighting was the hottest and die for another woman while I was here, safe in the tower, loving you?”

 

Jasine’s eyes tried to slide away and Thera reached out turned his face back to her own. This close she could feel his hot breath on her skin, she could still taste his sweet kiss. Tears began flowing freely again as her lips struggled to form the words. “Jasine I will not tell you I love you…and I cannot tell you that I do not. You now have some better idea of what your feelings for me will mean. The choice of what you do with them is yours…..”

 

Giving in to temptation Thera kissed both his eye lids and let her lips linger a moment on his, then she leaned in her chair and threw her head back, staring up at the rough sawn ceiling planks. She knew that she should have put an end to this, put her foot down and sent him away; but she could not, some small part of her ached for him to choose her. For once in her life she wanted someone to pick her.

 

[Quisalas Selene]

It was so easy for him to make the decision.  It actually surprised him how uncomplicated it was right here, right now.  Before him was this intriguing, competent, warm, and amazing woman, and she wanted him to decide whether she was worth any number of complications and hardships that might not even happen.  He listened to her carefully, not interrupting, taking her words with all due seriousness but when she finished and asked him if he could do this, suddenly it all felt very simple.

 

He could do anything for her.  And he would do anything for her.

 

He knew what making the choice to be a warder meant, he knew he would have to put his life on the line.  He knew that when he made the decision to come here.  He knew that when he decided that he should devote his life to the Tower instead of going home and living a relatively quiet and safe life raising and training horses.  And through Mara, he knew that death could come anywhere, and any time, and also through her, he knew that even death didn't make love not worth it.

 

She was the one taking the risk with her position, he didn't have very far to fall, and if she had decided it wasn't worth the risk she wouldn't have given him the choice.  A small voice inside him told him that he should protect her, even from the danger he might provide to her position, but he just couldn't give the voice any weight or credit.

 

"If you think you could love me in time, Thera, then time is all I will ask of you.  I'll think of you constantly, long for you always," he squeezed her hand, his touch hungry and insistent, but then relaxed his grip and merely held her hand, thrilling in this contact. "But I won't force you to tell the world that I'm your guy, and I'll respect your wish for our relationship to stay private.  I'm not asking you to leave the tower and your.. sister," he realized that she must mean the Aes Sedai she was bonded to and for the first time wondered who Thera was bonded to and what that woman would think of their relationship, "and I will accept that your priority to me cannot be a high one for now.  Maybe for ever.  But I would take any hardship in the world just to be granted the gift of your smile, your affection, your... heart." He got a little choked up again and tried to hide it behind a rakish grin, his smooth flirting not coming quite as smooth as before but the intensity of his emotions for her burned in his eyes.  There is no passion in the world like the unbridled love of a teenager.

 

"I will do whatever it takes to win and keep you, Thera.  Whatever demands you make of me, I will reach them so long as you do not send me away or turn away from me." He lifted her hand in his and gently kissed each of her fingertips, his touch light but lingering.  "I will ask for no favoritism from you as a trainee, I will offer no improper affection where any eyes may see, and I will remain faithful to any oaths I take in the future, whether they be to the Tower or to an Aes Sedai.  And I will have love for you for as long as the wheel turns, whether we part before we meet our mortal ends or that day finds us together still."

 

Part of him felt a little silly for the words he chose to try and convey how he felt.  They didn't do it justice, and they sounded too pretty to be honest, like something a hero might say to a damsel in one of those books Selene was always reading.  But it was as close to how he felt as he could find and he hoped she took them and was swayed by them and fell into his arms in joy.  But if they only made her smile that would be enough.