Philosophy class- To walk through the fire?

[Guest Celes]

Impatience was no virtue, but Alwyn suffered from it nonetheless as he stalked up and down in front of the Mistress of Trainees office. He had received a short note from his old teacher Lyv that she was off on a long trip and that Thera would assign him a new teacher. He was sure this would not be a problem as he enjoyed learning from different people. But now he felt it had been too long, because Lyv had left already when he got the note and Thera had not called him until today. The thee days that had passed were agony for Awlyn who wanted to keep training and felt that he should get more lessons. Of course, when he was still in training weeks could go by without lessons, but it felt different this time.

 

He kicked a rock from the ground and thought about the girl he had met the other day, she was still lingering in the back of his mind. Her eyes, her odd fascinations with the Yards and how she had wanted to have lunch with him under the trees rather than in the mess hall, it was all very confusing, but good confusing. She had not kept her word about sending him a note to meet again and he realized all too well his frustration with the Mistress of Trainees was more to blame on the woman he had met a few days earlier than on her lack of finding him a new trainer immediately.

 

The door opened and Thera came into view, nodding at him to step forward. Alwyn was sure he was going to get a name now, he wanted to start his philosophy class and see how he could practice while using his philosophy training. He was not sure yet what to chose, but the description about Flame and Void had sounded good to him, maybe that was what he ought to go by. To release the emotions, burn them up and then enter the Void to clear your head and work through the forms. He was dying to start and get his mind off of the young woman he had met and back on track with his training, she was confusing him. Was it in a good way?

 

Alwyn Fenrir

Anxious Trainee

[Eqwina]

Thera ran a hasty comb through her wild loose curls before stepping out into the yards. The sun still had not breeched the tower walls and the air held a sharp bite. Every trainee in sight was bundled tight against the cold and Thera very much wished to do the same; but their presence kept Thera’s back straight.

 

Many of the trainee’s had scoffed at her new position because she was still so young. In truth she was old enough to be many of their mothers; but she had always had a young face. And they said love, along with its perks can keep you young forever. A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth but she kept her mask in place. Do to the attitudes of some whenever a trainee was in sight Thera’s face was a mask of stern serenity; still enough to match any Aes Sedai.

 

Thera barely suppressed a sigh when the entered her new office. With out a care she tossed her cloak the back of a near by stool and took a seat at her desk. The room was clean but every shelf and available space held some sort of clutter. Since Thera had taken this job her life had become an organized chaos; the stack of papers before her drove that point home. It would take her hours to sift through them all and she had a few trainee’s that needed her attention first.

 

Opening the slatted door Thera motioned Alwyn into the room. With out a word she took a seat at her desk; the clutter in the room made it so he would have to stand. For a moment she studied the boy with her caramel eyes. Alwyn had great technique and quick wrist but he was too eager by half. Patience was skill he had yet to learn, that was part of the reason she had delayed him so long.

 

“You are in need of a Philosophy teacher yes? I hope you have give thought to what you will choose.” Thera stared at the boy over steepled fingers; awaiting his response.

 

[Guest Celes]

Alwyn entered Thera’s office and had a look around, it looked nice and much like he imagined an office of the Yard’s keepers to look. He had been here only once before, as the previous Mistress of Trainees had met him and then shown him to his room and introduced him to his mentor. He stood, outwardly calm and waited for her to ask him what philosophy he had chosen. So far he had not really chosen, he had read about both and had asked his different teachers about the advantages of both. Yet, the answer he got was usually the same, “Find out for yourself boy, find out where you draw your strength from and then you’ll know.”

 

“Thera Gaidin, I think I want to study the Flame and Void philosophy. I have found that I can concentrate better when I chose to burn my emotions and enter the Void. The Spring fills one with emotions and then allows them to feed off the emotions, however I have found that my concentration works better without emotions.” He waited, had he called her by her right title or should he have addressed her as Mistress of Trainees? Too late to change now, as it was to change his mind about his philosophy, but Alwyn stood by his choice. He was ready to learn and to better himself, the girl with the beautiful brown eyes was just another emotion he could leave behind when he concentrated on his training again.

 

Alwyn Fenrir

 

[Eqwina]

Thera’s stern mask did not falter a hair, but inside she fumed at the lack of her title. “It is well that you took time to consider how you learn best” With apparent lack of interest Thera shuffled through the papers on her desk. She played as if searching for something, apparently having forgotten the boy in front of her. Finally with a smile that looked odd set against her stone eyes she looked back up, folding her hands on the desk and leveling him with a hard stare.

 

It was not that she disliked the boy, but with piles of papers stacked high on her desk and the younger children in constant need of her attention she had little patience for insolence and impatience.

 

” All of the other teachers are other wise in disposed, so it looks as if you will have Philosophy with me. I warn you my training is not easy but you will be a better warder for it in the end.”

 

Patience would be the first lesson Alwyn would learn. “I have some work to do this morning but since you seem so eager to learn I will set you to your first task. You see all the armor and weapons on that wall? Her callused hands pointed towards the west wall which was covered floor to ceiling with weapons and armor “It has been a long time since most of that had seen even a lick of polish, you can start with that and we will see how quickly you work”

 

OOC: Hope you do not mind a little torment ;) When Thera is in a mood she can be quite hard to handle.

[Guest Celes]

Alwyn could feel the tension in her voice and thought about what had gone wrong just now, he did not understand what had happened and shrugged. It was no use trying to argue with a member of staff and he decided to put himself to the task she had laid before him, concentration growing with every dagger he took down from the shelves. He took another broad sword and felt the weight on his hands, then took the polish and cloth and stroked the hardened steel. Could this be one of those power wrought blades he had heard of? It was certainly a heavy blade and the hilt was encrusted with small gems and a silver line ran from the hilt all the way to the sword itself. He held it and then made a basic advance move, before laying the weapon to rest in his lap and softly polish it to shine.

 

Another long sword, this time a twin of one that hung beneath it, Alwyn forgot about time passing, even for a brief moment forgot about the brown mysterious eyes that kept swarming before him, but soon his mind drifted and he told himself to focus. The twin swords looked clean and shone as a beam of sunlight hit them, Alwyn had to squint his eyes as he took a small throwing dagger from a series of twelve and started to polish it. He found the tip had been neglected for some time and would probably not stuck anywhere if thrown and so he took a patch of leather from his pouch and started to rush the knife over the leather he tensed over his left knee.

 

Sharpening the steel made his mind focus on the danger of the dagger, the wounds it could inflict and the strength it held, even being such a small weapon. He liked the job he had gotten and finished after an hour or two with the final weapon, a katana that was recently polished and reminded him of home. His father had trained him with a katana much like this one and he took extra care in handling this weapon, so like the one he had handled as a young boy growing up. Finally he finished and rose up to meet Thera’s eyes who apparently had been watching him, but did not say anything to him. Their eyes met and he cast his to the floor, awaiting further chores or maybe another outburst. Had he really offended her this much, or was the polishing a meditation exercise he could not have thought up himself. If that was the case, he would have a lot of meditation ahead of him as it was a favorite chore of many guards to put on trainees in the Yards.

 

Alwyn Fenrir

[Eqwina]

The only noise in the room was the soft brush of cloth on steel. It was familiar and reminded Thera that she was home. With every minute that passed in that special silence her temper lessened and the first twinges of her head ache had all but vanished.

 

She had not set the task to him as a punishment; she only hoped to slow his eagerness some. Patience was taught in the yards from day one but some never did take the lesson to heart. The sounds in the room changed and Thera looked up to see Alwyn honing one of the many neglected daggers that lined the wall. Out of all the trainnee’s who had been assigned to clean those over the years very few ever took the time with sharpening since they had not been told. The boy seemed lost in his work so she allowed him to continue. He did not seem to feel her eyes as she watched him with interest.

 

Her own training with Andular came to mind as she watched him work. The man had pushed her to her limits, never relenting until she could assume the Flame and Void in the midst of a ranging battle. Thera hoped that she had what it took to push Alwyn as far as necessary.

 

“There is no need to down cast your eyes with me, I require respect not subservience.” Thera left her cloak where it lay and headed out into the yards. “Grab two practice swords and follow me, today will be about your mind not steel” She led him to a secluded part of the yards, just next to a stream. “Set down the swords and follow me, we will begin with the basics”

 

She led him to the stream and sat just on its banks. “Since you have made your decision I will not bore you with definitions, but I want you to know what you will face. You will learn to shun emotions and detach yourself completely from everything but the sword, the forms you already know will be put to the test and you will repeat them until they are perfect and your body is one with your blade. Now I want you to close your eyes.” After Alwyn’s eyes closed Thera reached down and gathered a few tiny pebbles the size of peas and held them closed in her hand. “I want you to picture a flame, a small flame at the start. Picture it flickering red and orange in your mind, I want you to feel the heat”

 

Alwyn began to squint, trying hard to imagine the flame. “Relax Alwyn, relax. Feel the heat from the small fire.”

 

[Guest Celes]

Alwyn followed the Mistress of Trainees outside, careful to show her proper respect from now. She had been right and he felt foolish for not understanding sooner that his status as trainee did not allow mistakes. Not among a woman like this, so he replied, “Of course There Gaidin, Mistress of Trainees,” and followed her out into the training yards.

 

They walked for a bit and Alwyn wondered what she was going to teach him. He had read something about Flame and Void philosophy and had decided carefully to study it now in is own training. Lyv had talked to him about the Spring and it had sounded appealing, but more the way she was inspired to talk about that and Path of Water, than anything else. Her strength lay elsewhere, Alwyn would train to be able to wield a broadsword he told himself, to work on defense and offense and not on quickness or leniency when wielding small weapons.

 

The lesson started and Alwyn paid close attention as Thera spoke, she asked him to close his eyes and without a moment’s hesitance, Alwyn trusted her and closed his eyes. He tried to see the flame before him, tried to feel the flame and feel the heat that came from it. His eyes flickered and he tried again, then finally he could see it and after a few tries even imagine he was warmed by the flames. “Yes, I believe I am there,” he said and kept his eyes closed as she had not yet instructed him to open them.

 

Alwyn

 

[Eqwina]

Slowly she allowed her words to dwindle; letting Alwyn become lost in the flame. When he spoke his words lacked much emotion, but a hint of his eagerness shone through.

 

“Let’s see if we can make that fire grow. Shall we?’ Thera reached out and gave the crouching Alwyn a shove, planting him firmly on his behind. As expected she watched the Void shatter. “Begin again, this time I want you to think of something that makes your heart race and your blood boil.” She allowed him a moment to get something into his head. “Picture that person, event of object, make it clear as you can….I want you to imagine feeding that object into the flames…All the anger you feel at me or the frustrations at your slowed training; Take all of those emotions and feed them into the fire.”

 

Thera’s voice droned on, coaching and giving encouragement when needed. “Any emotion that crosses your mind must be fed into the flames, as your fire grows so will your awareness of everything that surrounds you” Alwyn swayed slightly and Thera felt as if he were ready. “Open your eyes, but try to keep the flame foremost in your mind”

 

When he liquid brown eyes met his, once again the Void shattered. “With time it will come with more ease, one day you will find yourself consumed in the Void before you can blink an eye…but for now, let begin again, eyes open this time”

 

Thera worked with Alwyn as the sun climbed high in the sky and continued on as it began to fall. Each time he assumed the Void it came faster and with less coaching. He was a fast study and would do well.

 

“You are learning to become one with yourself and to feed your emotions into the flame, tomorrow we shall see how well you do with distractions.” Thera smiled, with a rather wicked grin.

 

OOC: Just RP out your struggles with the day ;) Your next lesson will not be so easy

[Guest Celes]

Falling down when she pushed him came as really no surprise, but Alwyn had to catch his breath for a moment before he could get and try again. This was a difficult task as he was forced not to be on his guard for her moves, but to learn how to find the Flame and burn up his memory first. Yet, he realized that once he controlled the Flame and could enter the Void, the real challenge would be to hold that when she pushed him. Or worse.

 

The memory Alwyn chose was of the time when his father had told him he had to put down one of Alwyn’s favorite horses. He had never seen death up close, but his father had made him watch as the horse, sick of old age was put down. Alwyn had learn about life and death, his father had told the 9 year old boy who cried bitter tears at seeing his old friend fade away. Those eyes, those cold eyes that stared in panic, not in the calm peace his father promised the horse would be in. That memory he used to feed on and burn in the flame and after a good few hours, he was able to hold the Void.

 

They practiced through the day and Alwyn felt more confident in using this method, he was really anxious to try it in a small fight or spar and hoped that the next day would bring such a challenge. Yet also, he was worried that this might only be the beginning and that his teacher had more in store than just him trying to hold the hallow Void when she pushed or punched him. What if he had to run, had to endure a very long spar which would make him tired and lose his focus. He could only guess as night fell and they headed towards the mess hall. “Until tomorrow then,” he replied at her goodbye and that night he slept the sleep of babies while his body relaxed and healed from the day’s exertion.

 

Alwyn Fenrir

[Eqwina]

Thera arrived early to have some time alone in the grove. She sat by the water with her boots dangling over the edge staring off into space. Sitting at the waters edge it was easy to forget that just behind the trees loomed the White Tower and the bustle and Tar Valon. Her relaxation was cut short when her new trainee arrived. She allowed herself to greet him with a smile, it was something she rarely did, but today had not begun as bad as so many before it. It seemed of late that she had more reasons to smile.

 

“Since it seems you are eager to begin, we will start right away” Thera stood and inconspicuously felt to see if the small pebbles were still in place in her pocket. Alwyn began to sit but she motioned him to remain standing. “I want you to begin getting used to the feeling of being surrounded in the void while other  things continue on around you, but first keep your eyes on mine and try to assume the Void.” Thera walked slowly a slow circuit around Alwyn forcing him to pivot to keep her gaze. She could see the frustration building in his eyes, and Thera paused a moment before continuing her slow circuit. For an hour she walked that circle, wearing a slow divot into the dirt. She decided he was ready for the test. With her free hand Thera reached into her pocket and tossed one of the small stones straight at Alwyn’s face. The pebble struck with force leaving a small welt on his head and she watched the void shatter.

 

She began him again from the start, walking that slow circuit. When the next pebble flew he deflected it with ease. “Very good! Very good!” Thera smiled and tossed another pebble hoping to catch him off guard. The small stone barely grazed his ear as he ducked to avoid her toss. “Even better Alwyn, now look around and tell me what you see.” She had arrived early for more reason than to be alone. She had carefully hidden two very small objects slightly in plain view, they were inconspicuous and yet obvious. Surrounded in the Void he should be able to find them in a matter of minutes. She watched with interest as his eyes scanned the trees and underbrush, twice his eyes passed right over where one of the objects had been hidden. “Look harder Alywn, you are not focusing. You have to be one with yourself and with the flame” Once again his eyes lit on this spot and this time the stopped. “ Go ahead take it, it is yours now”

 

She smiled as he picked it up, it was a simple cloak pin but she hoped he would remember this day whenever he looked at it. “I think you are ready for more, assume the void and stand ready” She only allowed him a moment before charging him with steel bared.

 

[Guest Celes]

As Alwyn understood it, this morning would be all about learning to use the Void in more difficult situations, really the kind of situations it would be used in. He expected a lot from the Mistress of Trainees and decided to take a quick run and do a warm up before meeting with her. But when he had done three laps, he noticed her coming out and soon she was waiting for him so Alwyn hurried over to meet her, she seemed to think him eager and he was a bit proud of that. He was eager to learn and he was eager to become better at any skill he was taught, it was hard not to be eager when there was still so much to learn!

 

Following her eyes, Alwyn could not help but notice that her dark eyes had a very vast deep brown color. He had to stare into them for a full hour and learned every little speckle in those eyes as he studied her and followed her gaze, slowly turning the circles along with her. Her movement suddenly stopped and Alwyn kept turning when he felt a pebble hit his head quite hard. He was immediately ready for another strike, realizing that this was not just to kid around but part of his training. Allowing the pain to be pushed back he tried to feed of the emotion of pain and anger at being tossed a stone like that. He focused and found he could easily avoid getting hit again as long as he kept his calm. His calm came from the Void, that calm where he burnt his anger in the Flame and was left with his concentration. He could study her again, could study her hand as it reached for another pebble and moved his head in the same movement as she tossed that piece of stone.

 

The next exercise would be more difficult he had a feeling, she asked him to find something in the Void. Peering behind her, Alwyn found that staring into someone’s eyes for so long made it very difficult to focus on things further away. He stared around and tried to focus on all the little flecks of brown and green that passed his vision until finally something stuck out and he walked towards what he could now clearly make out. The shape, though small being very clear before him and he smiled. It was a pin for a cloak, maybe the cloak he would one day wear when he was promoted to Tower Guard. Alwyn wanted to thank Thera for her gift but the lesson had already continued and she asked him to take a moment to find himself before reaching for the Void. Burning through the Flame he found the Void and felt his emotions move all the way to the back of his mind. Her hand was quick but his eyes had somehow followed that movement as it happened, his hand followed soon after and his trainee lathe was drawn from his back.

 

Wood found metal with a loud bang and he was glad that she had not used the full force of her weapon but instead focused more on the idea that he had to foresee her moves. Alwyn’s lathe moved down and the hardened steel was fended off, the Void allowed for no pain even though her sword was so much faster and hit him straight over the knees – he did not feel it. Far away from the pain that his knee let shoot up and the warmth that trickled down his lower leg from a light cut just above the knee. It was blood, but it was nothing major and it would heal within a day, Alwyn would normally had thought. But now he only thought of the blade Thera had in hand and how her hands flowed through the motions, how the weapon followed her eyes and her hands and how his eyes started to follow her eyes. How his eyes and hands followed her hands and how his practice weapon found ways to fend off her blows. Another one on the shoulder, no pain just the intensity that something had happened.

 

Yes, another blow, this time he parried it and was able to push her blade back. Steel met wood and would not part as he had to learn to keep the Void. Another blow and the Void was shattered, he was growing weary and tired and pain seeped through, no burn it in the Flames, he told himself. He found the Void but had already been punished for slacking off, Thera was incredibly fast and her feet moved forward and around him as if she had not just circled around him for a good hour. As if all she ever did was run towards opponents and further her speed and strength. Alwyn was amazed, he felt the Void slip again and tried to think of the pebble that had hit his head, it helped as he regained the Void and allowed no more mistakes. He could not hold it for more than a few minutes at a time but did become more proficient in returning into the Void after he lost it. That was something at least.

 

Alwyn Fenrir

[Eqwina]

Thera had assumed the void in her charge, and she was one with the blade. The steel was alive in her hands and she pressed Alwyn hard. She was careful to never cut him too deep or to use her full strength, but she tried to challenge him and push him to his limits.

 

Several times she saw the void slip, but each time he fumbled his way back. Feeling a light sheen of sweat on her skin, and seeing that Alwyn was drenched Thera slowed her blade, now only deflecting his attacks. Soon those slowed and once again Thera charged, shattering the void a last time. With a fluid motion she sheathed her sword and stood smiling at the exhausted trainee.

 

“You did better than I expected, sit for a minute and rest, then we will begin again” She pulled a waterskin from her bag and tossed it his way. She chatted while he drank. “The thing you must keep foremost in your mind is the flame, every time I saw you slip was when you began to worry where my blade would next strike. You must trust your instincts and what you have been taught, think only of the flame and you will do well” For a time they just sat, Thera coaching and Alwyn drinking in her knowledge.

 

“Before we begin again, do you have any questions on what we have learned so far?”

 

[Guest Celes]

Questions? No, Alwyn had no questions, but he tried to find some as his mind was the only thing in him still standing. His arms were heavy and his legs felt like pulp to him, resting beneath his upper body like two bits of straw rather than muscular and ready legs to stand on. He was tired and more so than from any training he had endured before, it took so much concentration and strength to study Thera’s movement, to hold on to the Void, to go through the Flames again and find the Void. It took so much to combine this with his weapons skill and Alwyn doubted he would make it out here alive. Perhaps his roomie, Ashley would find the dead body and report to he Mistress of Trainees that Alwyn simply did not have what it took.

 

He swallowed some water and then said, “I think it is very difficult to combine it all, it is well and good to hold on to the Void in silent standing or even in circling on the same spot. Yet, to fight and reflect, to use the Void and hold on to it, it takes so much.” He felt like a wimp and his eyes reflected his pain and self loathing as he looked her in the eyes. “Does everyone go through this pain? Or am I just not doing it right, am I just failing at this because I’m not getting it?” Alwyn’s painful arms could not lift the weapon anymore, he had heard that the Void was a way to burn the pain and not feel it. He tried to burn his pain in the Flame and felt a little better, then he tried to find the Void and let himself be calmed by it. “I can hold on to the Void, why do I keep letting go?”

 

Alwyn Fenrir

 

[Eqwina]

Thera pondered for a moment over how to answer that question. Alwyn had learned even faster than she herself had been able, and she was a fast study. But too much praise at this point could hinder as much as help.

 

“One day the Void will come with such ease, it will wrap its self around you before you even have time to blink..but for that to happen you must stop thinking so much” She reached up and rapped him lightly on the head. “The mastery of your passions is paramount in the path you have chosen. Your blade must be your best friend and your lover..” Her voice became distant “Only then will you be one with your weapon and the flame”

 

Thera shook her head, sending her curls into wild disarray. When she thought of all the things she had given up for that woman it made her blood boil. Taking her own advice she fed her anger and pain into the flame, now a roaring inferno. The more time they spent estranged the more Thera knew that her only lover would be her sword.

“You’ve got me talking about things you need not worry yourself about for some time to come” Thera stood, flexing her cooled muscles. “We have more work to do if you ever want to have a hope of touching me with that blade”

 

 

Over the next several weeks Thera met with Alwyn every day; and with each day she had to work harder to keep his practice blade from her flesh.

 

One early evening as the sun began to fall Thera stood in a clearing, with her eyes toward the sun. She was as good as blind so she was relying on her skills to tell her when he was near. She heard a single twig snap just off to her right and she threw herself down to the dirt.

During Alywn’s training Thera had practiced him with more than just his sword. The last few days had been spent stalking each other in the woods. Today had been the first day Thera had failed to strike him more than twice.

 

As Thera rolled onto her back and sprang to her feet a sharp string in her shoulder let her know she had been hit. Wrapped in the void it was little more than a sting but she could tell already she would be left with a finger sized welt. She had avoid full contact with the blade but a hit was a hit.

 

“You have struck me!” she said her voice tinged with pride. “I believe I have taught you all I can of the Flame and the Void, the rest will have to come from within” She tapped her fingers over his heart as she spoke. With a rueful laugh she slapped the boy on the shoulders, careful to avoid the welts she had “marked” him with.