As Time goes by

[Wayfarer]

Looking over at Timewalker, Anton wondered whether there was a purpose to this.  As she was newly accepted to the Stedding, she was considered a Wanderer.  That meant that she needed to be taught the most basic lessons, but she had come from another time.  In that time she had no doubt received instruction in the things that he was going to be going over today with her.  Still, if there were any gaps in her education they would soon find out.  No doubt they would also discover if there was a gap in the education he was trying to give.  It was a little daunting to think that he was teaching someone from an age where the Wolfkin were meant to be at the pinnacle of achievement.

 

He’d elected to lead her away from the stedding rather than closer to it.  As it was he had quartered her with Sohvi which had no doubt been interesting, but he knew how much the stares affected her.  Putting her as far away from that as possible he had felt was key to letting her come to grips with things, not being left feeling alien by all of that.  Instead he could keep her away and introduce her to people one by one, much as he had with Sohvi.  Doing so in that manner would hopefully make it easier for her to adjust.

 

But, after they’d gotten far enough away, Anton found himself somewhere comfortable to sit down as he gestured for Timewalker to do the same.  That was something else he was going to have to work on he realised, getting her real name out of her.  Timewalker was a mouthful, and it was bad form in his mind.  Then again, not everyone agreed with him on that particular train of thought.

 

“You’ve most likely done all this training before, but I want to run through all of it with you.  We don’t know what you may or may not have learned before, but we require all wolfkin to learn certain things.  The first of these is how to use your senses.  In this lightly wooded area, there are all sorts of things you can notice both with your human and your wolf senses.  Tell me what you can.”

 

Anabel took a deep breath as she settled in across from Anton.  She was still feeling raw around the edges, like her world was off kilter.  Her life was a map with only the basic items colored in.  So much of her new world was white space.  She took a deep breath as Anton spoke, listening carefully to understand him.  It came easier with time, beign around people and speaking more, but she was tired of having to repeat her own words over and over again and found herself speaking less and less to others because of it. 

 

Sohvi was nice enough and was considerate of her even though there was little Anabel would talk to her about.  She felt the prodding at times, felt the people that wanted more from her.  All she wanted was to drown in her past, or forget it.  No one seemed to understand that.  Light, she just wanted to forget the others at times.  Just find a pack and run wild without thought or memory. 

 

Once, she had almost found herself giving her name to Anton as they spoke and the horrible memory had filled her, reminding her of who she was and what she had come from.  Anabel Leeson had died two thousand years before.  She was Timewalker now and she had no other life she wanted to remember. 

 

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she took a deep breath.  Closing her eyes against the sensation of sight which took precedent whenever available, she supressed the sudden fear that gripped her.  Images of dark questions and pain, then gray light and nothingness.  Another deep breath calmed her and moved her past that. 

 

"I can smell smoke from a fire somewhere.  There's a small creek not far.  I can hear the water running." She said, looking up at him to see how the start of her first lesson was going.   

 

Smiling reassuringly as Timewalker answered him, Anton was fairly certain that she could discover more.  In fact, he was certain she did know more, but she had that habit of withdrawing into herself whenever she was allowed to lapse silent for too long.  He would puzzle that out eventually, at least he hoped he would.  Under any hurt there was someone waiting to come out from it, if they were willing to be helped.

 

“Good, you’ve identified two things from your surroundings.  But I want you to focus much more, what else can you tell me about our surroundings.  For example…”  Anton closed his eyes due to subconscious habit rather than a genuine need to do so in order to focus on his other senses.  “There is the scent of wild roses drifting to us, where is it coming from though?  The breeze comes from the north, likewise where the smoke comes from for the scent to carry to us so.”

 

Opening his eyes, Anton’s tone was gentle as he continued.  “You have both your talents and your mind, you must use both to tell me about where we are.  Identify other things about us, and tell me more about them.  Start with the stream, where is the sound coming from?”  That would force her to focus more, embrace her talents further.  Anton watched intently as he waited for his student’s answers.

 

Timewalker nodded her head at his words.  There was a world of sensation out there but she had to focus on it and not let herself get lost in other things.  That seemed to be the trouble these days.  She closed her eyes again, keeping Anton's words in mind.  It was something she had been able to do, once upon a time.  Once upon a time.  Like a fairytale. 

 

Only in this fairytale, the princess gets tortured.  Her prince is killed.  Her castle is destroyed and all her people die while they wait for her to wake up.  Her faithful companions all turn to dust and when the princess wakes up it's to a rushing river and people that can't understand half of what she says. 

 

Angrily she opened her eyes and pushed up off the ground.  She started pacing, her angry thoughts making her accent thicker as she spoke.  "I'm not a bloody princess!  This is no fairytale!  Focus on feeling your surroundings?  How do I do that?  The creek that rushes through here was once a much larger river!  The woods we're in used to be something much greater.  I REMEMBER those things!" She said, tears filling her eyes even as her anger continued.  "How am I supposed to sense what is here when all I can do is suffer through memories of what this place once was?"

 

Deciding not to stand as she suddenly shot up, Anton listened quietly as she let her feelings free.  The beginning of it was a bit of a surprise, Anton wasn’t quite sure where she had pulled princess and fairytale from.  Had that been what she had been punishing herself with?  She had been relatively quiet as they’d approached the stedding and now he understood why, she had been flailing herself with the familiar yet dissimilar surroundings.

 

And there were the tears, perhaps now was the time to give her a bit of a shock.  It had been one thing when he had been bringing her back to the stedding, but now they were here.  As great as her grief was, he couldn’t leave her moping about it, otherwise it would colour everything she was doing.  He needed her focused on the moment.  Nevermind that she might not react well, but she wasn’t working through it on her own, she needed a shove.

 

Standing, he took the few steps required to close the distance between them where she was still trying to get a grip of herself.  Frowning, his usual gentleness and warmth was gone as he rebuked her.  “Get a grip of yourself.  Focus on the here and now.  This isn’t two thousand years ago, this isn’t home to a large river or an endless forest.  Those are memories, you on the otherhand aren’t.  You’re here, you have a simple task to achieve and instead your mind is elsewhere.  Push that out and focus!”

 

She looked at Farpaw as though he had lost his mind, when she knew in fact that she was the one most likely to be lost, but his words seemed so out of character to her.  It felt wrong, to hear this from him, but at the same time, there was a sense deeper within that he was right to push her.  That he had the right to lead and her to follow at his side.  Still, her loyality was not that quickly won.  If he wanted to be alpha, he had to fight for it.  "Don't tell me what to do!" She said, snarling at him.  "You don't understand and you won't!" 

 

Images passed through her too fast to recall, but she sent them anyway, of strong arms and long nights, of pain and torment, of the word reaching them that Manetheren had fallen and the hopelessness that had followed, of torture and being left in that room for time beyond telling, of eyes watching everywhere and words spoken but misunderstood.  It all flowed through until she was on her knees again, her hands clawing at the ground before her to try to stop the torrent that ran through her.  Nothing helped, nothing reached in to stop it and she did the only thing she could.  She reared back her head and howled with the pain that filled her.   

 

If it hadn’t been for the treatment he had received as a wanderer himself, Anton would not have been able to cope with what flooded into his mind.  As it was, he had to take a step back even as she fell to her knees, what he saw scared him.  He had thought that she was through her howling, but was she really?  Or did the despair drive her to this?  It was then that the howl sounded, and Anton reacted more than thought about what he did as he reached over and slapped her.  Anything to break her wolfish train of thought as he then shut her thoughts out of his own, hoping it would force her to talk to communicate.

 

The shock of his actions filled her so completely that nothing else was left.  She blinked through her tears a few times, trying to make sense of what was happening.  She looked up at Anton standing over her, his face showing concern and other emotions she couldn't interpret from him yet.  She looked up, and she was horrified by her own actions.  What had she been doing?  Forcing her memories onto him, forcing her pain into someone else's mind, someone who had done nothing but befriend her and take care of her?  She felt sick again as she so often did now when the reality of something hit her harder than she could bare.  She got back to her feet, her eyes never leaving his as she started to back away.  "I'm sorry.  I should leave before I hurt you.  I meant to." She said, brushing aside tears.  "I meant to but I don't want to.  I can find my own way." 

 

“You’ll do no such thing, stop where you are.”  Walking over to her, it was a bit hard to stare down someone when they were taller than you but Anton matched her gaze regardless as he mastered his own feelings.  It had been a long time since that had happened to him, his mind being flailed with foreign images and ideas, feelings, invading him.  He’d almost lost himself once to that, it was one of the reasons he always stood apart from the others.  He didn’t like having other people in his head, he could tolerate it when it was for the purpose of communicating something specific, but that had been like a wild flood that had threatened to sweep him away.  He was firm as he spoke.  “Sit down.  You are not an invalid, you will finish the task you were given.  Now.”

 

There was something in his voice that had her on the ground again without thought.  She sat down, her back up against the tree trunk she had stopped against when he had commanded it.  She took a deep breath, unsure of what she should do now.  He wanted her to continue what she had been doing.  Could she do it?  Could she manage to push aside her pain for a small amount of time to complete the exercise he had given her?  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  Her hand reached out as she did, feeling for anything.  A piece of bark was perfect as she scooped it into her hand.  Reality.  This was real.  Everything else faded away as she focused on the texture of the bark in her fingers.  She let herself go a little further.  Bark on her fingers, the scent of pine in her nose.  She took a deep breath and continued to, each time letting her senses take her further away from herself and into the world.

 

"There's a creek to the east with a settlement not far from it. Slightly south of it actually.  Not a lot of travel or there would be less animal life around." She said as she opened her eyes.  It wasn't a lot, but it was a start.  She had been able to focus on something for a little while at least.

[Wayfarer]

It was awhile until Anton found what he was after and freeing his belt knife from its sheath he got to work.  One of the advantages of staves was that in a woodland you could always find ready replacements that were just waiting to be cut away.  Producing a pair of staves in short order, he showed her how to cut the branches away then work away the small knobs that formed where the branches were in order to make it as smooth as possible.  There was nothing worse than catching your hand on one of them.

 

Handing one to Timewalker as he worked away at his own, he was done in short order and sheathed his blade before turning to her.  She was twirling it, slowly, more playing with it than actually knowing what she was doing with it.  If that was the case, then she was going to need a bit of instruction before they were going to be done.  Not something that was going to be achieved in a single day, but they could start with some of the basics at least.

 

“Alright, now first I want to see what you can do.  You see that big stick you have there, lets see you whallop me with it.”  Smiling, Anton balanced the stave across himself in order to maintain an easy defensive position.  Footwork would keep him mobile and he had enough experience that he was fairly sure he’d be able to handle her easily enough from the way she held herself.  But then the objective wasn’t to win, it was to learn what she knew and more importantly, what he could teach her.

 

Anabel took the stave from Anton and began twirling it around.  She didn't handle a weapon well but she started moving with it, trying to get a feel for what it would be like to swing it around.  She eyed Anton quickly, hoping that he knew what he was doing.  "Alright.  Let's see what else I can learn from you today."  She took a deep breath and widened her stance slightly and then began to swing the stave at his midsection.

 

Jumping back, the wide arc of Timewalker’s stave found only air as Anton put himself out of harm’s way.  Twirling his stave, he met the next swipe solidly enough that Timewalker’s weapon almost came loose from her hands.  Ignoring it for the moment, a casual swing from him was caught awkwardly but it was caught nevertheless.  Shifting his stance as he received another blow upon his stave, he pushed away the following thrust and responded with a light riposte that made her step away.

 

Anabel felt strange with the stave in her hands.  She wasn't the type to want to hurt people, but she could remember being at the hands of those that did and perhaps if she had been trained a little more she might have lived out her full life.  She would be long dead, but it would have been a normal life without the pain that she now knew. 

 

Anton moved away from all of her blows with ease and she no longer worried that she might hurt him by accident.  Now she just had to worry about him hurting her.  She had blocked a few blows and she knew from how hard her hands stung that they would have left bruises hat they hit.  As he pressed her back she had no choice but to dodge and try to block.  When she saw an opening, she tried swinging again, though not the akward full swing she had tried earlier.  He blocked it easy enough and when he swung next she was too slow to block it.  She felt it hit her arm even as she tried to move away.  She cursed darkly then rubbed the spot lightly.  "Am I going to be black and blue in the morning?" she asked, but gave a small grin.

 

Chuckling, Anton shook his head as he lowered his stave.  He knew what he needed to know now, Timewalker had very little experience with the weapon which was a drawback yet also a blessing.  She hadn’t developed any particularly bad habits which meant he could start her with solid foundations.  “You have no habits, that’s a good thing.  It means you can learn without having to unlearn.  So, we can start from the basics, movement.”

 

Turning so his profile was presented to Timewalker, Anton adopted an easy stance.  Left leg forward, stave slanted across his body diagonally from left high to right low with the lower end tucking backward slightly.  Knees slightly bent, he was balanced forward slightly on the balls of his feet.  “This is a basic stance, defensive yet offensive, it balances both.  You can push away a blow or launch one with equal ease from this position.  Now, do as I have.”

 

Anabel listened as he instructed her, then moved into the position he told her to.  It was a comfortable position and she felt herself settle into it easily.  "This feels good." She said as she looked over at him.  "Easier.  Better balance."  And it was a lot better than what she had been doing.  She felt more centered, which was something considering how badly her life had been spinning.  She took a deep breath against a flood of emotions that always seemed to come unexpected, then nodded to Anton that she was ready.

 

Nodding back at Timewalker, Anton stepped forward with his right foot as he swung the right end of the stave forward and up, coming across slightly as if to clip someone under the chin.  Mirroring the first blow as he stepped with his left foot in turn he returned to his original stance.  Bringing the right end up as the left dipped, he swung it across as one would to connect with a man’s temple.  Swinging in turn from left to right at the chest of an invisible opponent as he stepped with his left across his body, Anton stepped forward with his left once more as he thrust with the butt of the stave.  A five move drill, something that Timewalker would become familiar with long before their training was done.  “Those five movements are the first drill you will learn.  When I call out one, you do the first move.  Two you do the second.  We do them long enough, they’ll become natural to you.  Ready?...  One!”

 

It was a simple enough exercise and simple enough instructions, but as she moved to the first position and then into the second she knew the movements weren't as fluid as they could be.  She took a deep breath to relax herself, to make her mind fall into the groove of training.  It was hard when so much of herself became lost so often, but the training had a sort of hypnotic feel to it as they kept doing it.  There was nothing else around her except the feel of the wood in her hands and the sound of Anton's counting as she moved to his music.

 

It was a long time before Anton was willing to let up on Timewalker.  He wanted to work her hard in this particular part of the training, one of her fears was of hopelessness.  By teaching her the ability to defend herself he hoped to lessen that feeling, that he wanted to work her till she could summon the energy to entertain her darker feelings. 

 

The sun was setting by the time he decided to give her a break that was more substantial than five minutes breather.  He’d noticed her arm that he struck was getting a bit stiff, and she was shifting her grip on her stave far too much even though she didn’t complain.  Telling her to show him her hands, what he saw was harsh yet also convenient.  The next part of their training would be much easier to introduce now that it had some practical purpose...

[Wayfarer]

Anabel’s arm was stiff and sore as she handed the stave back to Anton.  It wasn’t the only bruise she had but certainly the worst and only one that seemed to cause much trouble.  Her hands were sore, but then a long time had passed since she had last worked and her calluses were long gone.  By anyone’s standards.  When Anton told her she should find something to take care of it, she was more than happy to oblige.  No matter what else changed, she still remembered her herbs and knew how to handle that sort of thing.

 

She moved quietly through the woods, trying not to bother the natural inhabitants as she passed.  She let her senses feel out the area, though her fatigue was making her earlier outburst seem more likely to come again.  She felt it, like a bubble about to burst in the back of her throat, the need to cry out, to call out her pain, but Anton was right.  She had to focus.  She clenched her fists and dug her nails into sore flesh to keep her focus.  The pain was real.  This was real.  Everything else was an illusion to her real life.

 

She opened her eyes, not knowing when she had closed them, and looked around again.  She started looking for her quarry.  She lightly spoke the different names of the plants she saw to help her remember them all.  Finally she saw what she had been looking for.  Sunburst Root.  She took enough to make a good deal of ointment and was about to walk away when she saw something else.  Sleepwell.  It was good for headaches and the Light knew she had plenty of those, but mostly it would help her sleep.  She didn’t think Anton would think too highly of her for taking it but he didn’t have the nightmares she did. 

 

When she returned to camp she worked quickly and quietly as was now her way until the Sunburst Root was boiling.  When it was ready she’d make the ointment and by morning her bruise would be well onto the way to recovery, if not gone at all.  When she looked up from the medicine she noticed Anton watching her.  She was used to it, the way the people of the Stedding watched her, but Anton was different.  “I have enough to keep for a few days.  If you need some, I can get more of it.”

 

There was something about Timewalker when she returned, more focused than she had been.  Why, Anton wasn't sure, but he resolved to keep an eye on her nevertheless as always.  At least she was more relaxed than she had been in awhile, the exertion had forced her to loosen up a bit.  Dangerous because it meant her control of herself would be harder to keep, but she needed to learn to embrace rather than shun that aspect of herself which was no different from coming to terms with the wolf aspect that made them what they were.

 

Her question rousing him from his thoughts, Anton shook his head at her.  "I'll be fine.  Also, keep in mind we only harvest sparingly and when needed save for Miryana who manages our stock.  This way we do not strip the entire area of herbs.  While you can collect stuff here on occasion, always see Miryana first when possible.  Last time I collected my own out here I ended up doing chores for a week.  You do not want to be stuck with that.  Trust me."  A half smile played on his lips as he finished.

 

She listened as he spoke, her mind twisting his words slightly to fit into her speech patterns as she had been learning to do since awaking.  She nodded her head and gave a smile back to Anton.  “No, I would not want extra chores.”  She said.  “And I will keep in mind what you said about stripping an area.  It is not good to take from nature and leave nothing behind.”

 

Nodding approvingly, Anton pointed to the brew Timewalker was preparing.  "Keep an eye on that, I'll be back in awhile.  Just need to check on something."  Standing, Anton made his way into the treeline.  His steps quickening once he was out of sight, there was something he most certainly needed to attend to.  Urgently.

 

Anabel nodded as he went off.  She peered into the pot and found her concoction just the way she wanted it.  Taking it off the fire, she stirred it a bit to help it cool down, then when it was ready, applied the ointment onto her bruises and waited for the hot and cold flashes that always seemed to accompany it’s healing.  It didn’t take long to start and she felt a little heat on her arm from it.  She took a deep breath and sat back then, closing her eyes and letting herself feel outward again to see if she could keep her focus this time.

[Wayfarer]

Anton was gone a little longer than he had planned, but by the time he did return he also returned with meat as opposed to a few vegetables he’d managed to forage.  Dinner as a result had a bit more, well, meat to it, but it possessed something else as well which wouldn’t have normally been in a meal.  Although he could fall to sleep at the drop of a hat if he wanted to, he doubted that Timewalker was quite so gifted so he had added something to help in that respect.

 

“Its to help you sleep, me as well.  The next part of our training occurs while we are in the world of dreams, literally.  Aes Sedai call it Tel’Aran’Rhiod but you would know it as the Wolf Dream.  I need to see how much conscious control you have over it and help improve on your skills and develop those you do not have.  Don’t worry, there is no need to rush your meal, I didn’t put much in.”

 

Anabel looked at the food like it was poisoned.  “Why do you have to do that?”  She demanded.  She stood up then and began pacing back and forth.  She trusted that Anton was trying to help her, but that didn’t mean he knew what was best.  He didn’t really understand her, didn’t understand what she had come from and she wasn’t about to face dreams unless she had to.  “I don’t want to dream.” She said in a quiet voice as she continued her movements.

 

“You don’t have a choice.”  That earned a sharp look from Timewalker but it was the truth.  “Either you master your dreams or your dreams will master you.  It is part of who you are, that is your wolf heritage and if you cannot embrace it then you cannot embrace yourself.  Besides, you will not be alone, I will be right there with you.”

 

Anabel took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.  She had to trust Anton.  Light, she had to trust to something these days and he was the only thing that she had any faith in.  She wasn’t ready to face the Wolf Dreams, but she needed to be doing something to make herself stronger.  She sat back down then and looked into the fire.  “I’ve been trying not to dream.” She admitted quietly.  “My dreams are…“ She shrugged knowing that her words wouldn’t make much sense.  “white.”

 

As far as Anton could tell, that was perhaps one of the more cryptic answers he’d ever been given to a dilemma.  Her dreams were white?  What does that mean??  Only one way to find out.  “Wait.”  Standing, Anton walked around the fire to where Timewalker was sitting and sat himself next to her.  “Alright, now tell me what you mean by white.  That doesn’t sound right.”

 

“White.  Nothing but white walls.  No door, no window, only light coming from overhead that doesn’t seem to have a source.  No food or water.  No sense of time passing or days gone by.  Only nothingness.  Tired, hurtful drowsiness that takes over because there is nothing else.”  A tear fell and others followed as she spoke, her voice breaking but steady in tone.  “I can dream about the pain and the torture,” She said with a thick accent “but I can’t dream about those walls again.”

 

“Hey.”  Reaching out, Anton grasped her arm lightly as he spoke.  “I will be there with you.  But I do not think this is the wolf dream where we will be going.  Either way I will take care of you, trust in that.”  Letting go, he stood and made his way to the pair of bowls and ladle that sat on the other side of the fire.  Dinner was about time and now was best before she was given time to think on it further.  Serving equal portions, it wasn’t long before he sat himself back down next to Timewalker and offered her a bowl and spoon.

 

Like everything else that had happened to her since Anton had found her, she felt like she had no choice but to take what he offered.  She was in no place to leave the Stedding and without his help she knew the wolfish part of her would have taken over.  His presence kept her sane and he was trying to help her, everything in her knew that.  So she took the offering and gave him a weak smile.  “I do trust you Anton.  I’m scared, but you I trust.”

 

Smiling at her, Anton focused on his emotions generating as much warmth and confidence as possible for her to sense.  They were real emotions, but played up where he reduced his worries as best he could.  He needed to support her every way he could.  “Well, tuck in, sooner we start the sooner we finish.”

 

Their meal did not take long to finish, indeed Anton had finished his with what was almost unseemly haste.  Not only was he hungry but he wanted to get to sleep before Timewalker did so he could be waiting for her in the Wolf Dream, giving her as little chance to panic as possible.  And if her dreams were part of the Wolf Dream, he would have to be ready.  Resting back on the ground as he was done, he quickly drifted off between the herbs, the long day, the heat of the fire and an ability developed on the road to snatch winks of sleep whenever the opportunity presented itself.

 

The Wolf Dream was always different from the real world, silent and blurred, it had been quite disturbing for him at first.  Now it was something he was accustomed to, and those bits of it that had troubled him he had simply become numb to.  Garbing himself with his mind in simple grey clothes and boots, he sat down and closed his eyes, waiting for Timewalker to arrive.

 

Sleep came hard for Anabel as she forced herself to relax.  The day's exhertions had drained her enough for sleep and the drugging was certainly helping, but panic threatned to overthrow her.  As she lay back, she didn't allow herself to think.  Thinking would only let the panic rise, the panic that threatened her in the quiet moments.  She needed calm tonight.  Instead, she focused on her breathing.  When that seemed to hard, she turned outward and focused on Anton's breathing.  There was a rythm that allowed her to relax and finally find the sleep she was working for. 

 

As she entered the wolf dream she took a deep breath.  Things seemed out of focus and if she moved her head too quickly it seemed the world spun around her.  the distortion was too much like life, too different, too confusing.  She closed her eyes to the strange new world and took a deep breath.  She opened her eyes again and this time she saw Anton.  Not a white room, Anton.  She focused on him, taking strength in his presence. 

 

A moment later she recognized that his clothing was different.  Looking at herself, she realized she wore nothing but the scars that had decorated her body when she had been thrown into the white room.  She gasped in surprise, wondering if he had done something to strip her of her clothes.  Her panic got the best of her, remembering threats and jeers that had followed her torture and she wondered what Anton had planned to do to her in the wolf dream where she was as defensless as a pup, but she forced herself to push aside the panic.  Trust.  She had to trust someone.  "Clothes?" She asked in a voice that still spoke of panic.

 

Jaw dropping as he saw Timewalker appear in the dream, Anton was a bit stunned as he saw something unexpected.  Not just the fact that she was naked, but the scars that covered her body were numerous and there was little doubt that they'd been received under less than kind circumstances.  Part of the reasons she was so closed off made a great deal more sense, though it was just...

 

It was her voice that snapped out of it, whipping a hand to his eyes as he turned away even as his cheeks were aflame.  "Light, sorry!  I thought I was the only one that did that.  If I'd thought you would as well I would have told you first."  Berating himself inwardly over what he'd done, and staring!  That had just been plain stupid, and it wouldn't have done their teacher/student relationship any good either.

 

"Ok, first of all you need to stand up.  And whatever you do, remove your hands or you'll get your hands stuck in undergarments like I di-  Nevermind that.  I want you to focus on your, well, down there.  You need to imagine your undergarments, concentrate on their image and how they would feel on you and they will appear.  You'll need to construct your entire set of clothing that way.  Once its created and you get used to it, it should take less concentration to maintain.  Let me know when you're clothed."  Sitting down, Anton kept his hands over his eyes even if he wasn't looking her way.  Such a fool!

 

Anabel took a deep breath as he spun around, feeling like she was able to breath again.  Her fear had begun to subside at his words and the obvious embarassment he'd felt as he turned away from her.  She had never been ashamed of the way she looked, of her own body but that had been before the scars.  She didn't know what he would say about it and she didn't know if she could answer if he did.  Light, she hoped he hadn't noticed, but it seemed a bit too much to ask for.  Best just hope he didn't mention it. 

 

She closed her eyes to concentrate as he had told her to, consciously trusting him to remain looking the other way.  As much as she was trying to learn the things Anton was teaching her, she was trying to learn trust as well and though he didn't know it, he had been proving to be as good a teacher in that as the other subjects they were broaching together.  She thought of her underclothes, the soft fabric and fashion that was current, though of herself in them and was faintly surprised when she opened her eyes and found them there.  Next, she focused on a pair of soft pale blue pants and a matching tunic.  She imagined her long white blonde hair pulled back in a braid to keep it out of her face and soft, well fitting boots.

 

She smiled at herself as she looked down.  This was much better than being naked.  With the thought though her clothes disappeared entirely.  She chocked in her shock and shouted out.  "How do I keep them on?" But to her embarrasment they were back as soon as she asked the question.

 

"Just keep an image of what you look like in your mind, don't need to focus entirely on it, just remember that image.  Don't worry, it'll get easier with time, I still forget sometimes though if I get overly distracted.  Is it alright to turn around?"  Getting an affirmitive, Anton removed his hands from his eyes and turned about slowly, ready to turn back if her concentration slipped.  Smiling at the clothes as he stood, Anton made a mental note to purchase her some clothing like that when he had the chance.  "You're doing well, and a lot quicker than I did to be honest."

 

Anabel gave him a smile at his words, trying to remember what he said about the image.  It was easier to retain that now that she had clothes on and was more comfortable with it.  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, trying to push away the fear that Anton had seen her scars.  She didn't want to think about the dirty shack she had been held in or the torture she had been subjected to.  When she opened her eyes though, it was all she could think of.  Dark dingy walls surrounded her and she could hear the muted sounds of people talking outside.  When she tried to move, she found that her hands were bound and held by a rope hanging down from the beams of the roof.  "No..." she mumbled, half formed cries dieing on her lips when the door opened and light hit the flesh of a blade held by a man walking through the door.  "well now my wild pretty..."

 

Frowning as Timewalker disappeared on him, Anton concentrated and disappeared from the scene of their camp to reappear in a scene made of nightmare.  Timewalker was secured with rope that hung from a beam within some sort of shack.  Naked and scarred, she was shifting back away from men that were entering the shack, threatening her with knives and with words.  He should have expected this of her!  Her mind was too undisciplined!

 

Imagining a crossbow in his hands, Anton took aim and caught the first man in the side, the phantom dead before it hit the ground.  As one of the men turned to him, Anton imagined his crossbow reloaded and fired again, catching the second man in the chest.  A cry of alarm coming up, Anton silenced the third with his cry dying on his lips.  Making his way over to Timewalker, he placed himself between her and the door as he yelled at her.

 

"This is only real as long as you imagine it real!  Think of where we were camping!  Concentrate on it!  Don't think about this!  If you do it'll trap you!  FOCUS!"  Catching a man who tried to storm through the door with another bolt, Anton did his best to keep them from coming in.

 

He couldn't be here.  Anton wasn't here.  He wasn't... that world.. it was all just a dream.  She had created her own escape from her torture and now she was going mad from the questioning.  She shook tears from her eyes.  She had wanted so hard in the dream to come back to this place, to know that the white walls and the future she had seen weren't real but now that she was back, she wanted nothing more than to return.  She wanted this to be a dream and to know that Anton was there to protect her.  She looked at him, his yellow eyes refecting back her fear.  If he was just her imagination, why was he afraid? 

 

Focus.  This was what they had been working on in her dream.  Focus.  She took a deep breath, pushing back the panic.  Focus on the clearing.  Focus on Anton in the camp.  She closed her eyes to rid her vision of the shack and it's horrors.  When she opened them, the clearing stood before, as did Anton.  She tried to say something, but her throat was constricted with pain and she fell to her knees instead, trying not to fall back into the pain of it.

 

Kneeling down beside Timewalker, Anton winced as he gathered her into his arms.  "Its alright, its alright."  Running a hand over her arm to assure her, Anton frowned, she was naked again.  Looking away, Anton was quick to get an idea.  Besides, it was part of what he was meant to do.  Releasing her, Anton was quick to explain.  "You're naked again, focus on your clothing and that alone.  Do not think of anything else, just maintain your image."  He began scrabbling about the ground for a couple of rocks.

 

Anabel took a deep breath as he held onto her.  Part of her didn't know if this was real or not, but it didn't matter.  She was away from the torture and that was enough for her.  She looked up as he released her and gave a start again at her nakedness.  It hadn't mattered at the shack, but she felt her cheeks flush as she shakily stood.  She didn't close her eyes this time, too afraid that the scene would be changed when she opened them, but imagined the clothes again as she had before, imagined herself in them.  The blue fabric was covering her then, giving her a small semblence of security.  She shivered from the shock of it all, but knew that her body was recovering quickly from it.  She wrapped her arms around herself as she finally looked at Anton as he scrounged around in the ground.  "Anton?" She asked in a voice huskier and more thickly accented than normal.

 

"Got it."  Standing, Anton walked over to Timewalker and held up what he had found.  Half a dozen stones, enough for them to practice what they needed to learn.  Picking one out, he held it on the palm of his other hand and looked to Timewalker as he spoke.  "I want you to watch what happens, pay attention."

 

Focusing on the stone, Anton understood what it was but also what it could be.  His thoughts reshaping what was before him, the stone seemed to melt as it transformed from a stone to a lavender flower.  "Apart from being able to create things like clothing, or weapons to defend ourselves, we can also shape our surroundings in this fashion.  This is an important skill, because in it is contained a valuable lesson that you've just learned."

 

"Our thoughts shape the world around us.  If you imagine something to be with enough will, then it will be so.  If you imagined the grass to be burned, it would be burned.  Likewise, if you imagined it growing several feet, then it would do so as well.  All you need is strength of will and confidence.  Hence why we shall start with something small, and you are to turn all these stones into flowers starting with this one."  Anton took another stone and placed it in her hands.

 

She nodded at his words though she still felt unsteady.  A valuable lesson he said.  One she wasn't like to forget anytime soon, no less for the fact that she was no longer certain what was real and what was not.  In this place though, she could create, so create she would and hope to never wake in that other world again.  She took the stones carefully and placed one in her empty hand.  Taking a deep breath she imagined the stone changing.  Nothing happened.  She pictured the transformation as she had watched with Anton and still nothing.  She bit her bottom lip lightly, then focused not on the transformation, but on what she wanted the stone to become.  She smiled slightly as the stone became a small flower.  The others followed quickly behind it though the last seemed to change from a lavendar to a lily.  With a firm effort, she made the stone into a lavendar and waited to see if it stayed.  After a minute and no change she smiled at Anton.  "Very pretty flowers.  A shame we can only do this in the Wolf Dream."

 

"Indeed, and now it is time to go to sleep properly."  Catching the look of confusion, Anton smiled.  "We're still awake even though we are asleep, that means we don't rest.  You'd wake up twice as tired if you just stayed here the entire time.  I just want you to relax, let yourself fade away from this place.  As your conscious mind withdraws, you'll fade from here and go to a safe sleep where you will be fine.  I'll leave in turn after I've seen you off safely.  Alright?  Just relax, float, no thoughts, no will, just let it go."

 

She wasn't sure she could do it after everything that had happened, but the transformation of the stones had calmed her somewhat.  Again, it came down to trust and she was making an effort to trust.  He hadn't asked about her scars or what he had seen, though she expected her to eventually, but he had given her that peace so far.  She closed her eyes then, though afraid of what would happen when she opened them again.  it took quite a while to relax like this, but Anton began talking lightly and in his voice she could find something grounding.  She felt herself drifting off then and the Wolf Dreams were gone, replaced by the nightmares she had come to know all too well.

[Wayfarer]

Watching Timewalker fade away, Anton checked to see if he could find her in the dreamworld, yet his need for her produced nothing, she was gone.  Sighing, Anton released his control of his image and everything else as he abandoned the dream only to awaken with a sharp hiss.  Clutching his left leg, a few oaths later he was able to begin working on his belt and rolling down his pants.  The wound was ugly but it was only an inch or so deep.  One of the phantoms from Timewalker's nightmare had managed to score his leg even as he'd left the scene to rejoin Timewalker the moment she had shifted away.

 

Reaching over to a nearby pack, it was bandages along with dogworth mixed with healall and sunburst root that were his friends.  Taking the mixture in hand, he began to work it into his wound with one hand while the other began to fiddle with the bandage.  Light but it hurt, if there was one thing he despised about the Wolf dream it was that the risks in it were far worse than the ones here.  The pattern was the pattern here, things didn’t just change on a whim and even with his degree of mastery he was cautious about going there unless needed.

 

Anabel had always been a light sleeper even before her current placement.  Now that she found herself in a different place and surrounded by unfamiliar people it seemed to be doubly so.  She was minimally awake when she saw Anton grabbing for his pack.  A bandage came out and instantly Anabel was fully awake.  She didn't know how he'd been hurt, but the fact that he was grabbing for a bandage at all made it something to worry her.  "Anton?  Are you alright?"  She moved to his side then, seeing the wound on his leg.  "What happened?"  Even as she asked she was reaching out with her senses to see if there was anything threatening in the immediate area.

 

“I’ll be fine.  Gah!”  Lifting his hand clear of the wound for a moment, Anton swore as he reached for more of the paste.  “Your nightmare.  In order to go in and help you, I had to accept the dream as being real.  If I accept the dream as real, the dream can then touch me.  When you got free, I followed but before the nightmare dissipated, one of those bastards got me with a knife.  It’ll be fine, I’ve had worse.”

 

Anabel hovered over him, unsure of what to do.  "You mean you could have stayed out of it, and it wouldn't have hurt you?"  This was her fault then.  She had been helpless and because he was teaching her, he had been hurt.  Tears welled in her eyes, the whole of the night's events beginning to take it's toll on her already unstable emotions.  She blinked away tears because the last thing he needed to deal with now was that.  "Let me help you."  He didn't look like he was going to, but she took a deep breath.  "Please.  I did this... I need to do something to make up for it."

 

“It was not your fault, you didn’t know better and I should have anticipated it.  Its my fault as a teacher, not you as a student.  HNN!”  Straining as he pushed the paste in deeper, Anton let out a deep breath as he handed her the bandage.  “Take this, nearly done with the paste, just wrap it up afterward.”

 

Pausing, Anton grimaced as he held up the paste he’d been using.  “Dogworth to keep the wound clean, healall powder and some sunburst to help stop the bleeding.  Good mixture, whenever you’re traveling be sure to haAA!”  Taking a deep breath, Anton swore again as he saw the wound.  “I was hoping this wouldn’t be necessary, but since you’re eager to help you can do it for me while I focus on not screaming like a little girl.”  Reaching over to the pack, he withdrew some sunburst root thread and a needle.  “If you would?”

 

Anabel took the needle, looking at it as if it were a serpent come to life to bite her.  She had seen this sort of injury before, in fact she'd witnessed them sewn up before.  She'd just never had to do it herself.  She didn't have a weak stomach, she had just never had the time to learn that sort of thing.  She took a deep breath.  "I... I have never done this before.  I have seen it, but not done it.  Are you sure?" She asked, proud that as she held the snake in her hand she wasn't shaking like a child seeing their first wolf.

 

Staring at Timewalker, Anton sighed after a moment as he resigned himself.  He was meant to be teaching her after all, if she didn’t know how to sew someone up then she needed to learn.  Gesturing for the needle, he quickly threaded it then placed it against the wound.  “You want to go in deep enough that it pulls together and is secure, but not too deep.  Watch.”  Exhaling, at the end of his breath he pushed the needle through, sharply breathing in as he did so even as the new wound oozed blood.  Still it was slight compared to what he would lose if he left the wound open.

 

Placing a second stitch next to the first, Anton ground his teeth together for a moment as he sucked up the pain before speaking.  “See how deep I went and how much space I left between them?  That’s what I want you to do.”  Handing the needle and thread over to Timewalker, Anton leaned back on his hands and prepared himself for what was to follow.  “When you’re ready.”

 

She was surprised at the way he was able to start sewing his own leg up.  She took the needle back with a nod.  "Alright.  I'll take care of you Farpaw." She said, still unable to use his first name.  She might think his name but she couldn't bring herself to call him by it when he knew her only as Timewalker.  The needle was steady in her hand though she was feeling queasy as she started to work the needle.  She was careful to do the stitching the same as he had shown her.  She bit her lip a little harder each time he made a noise.  When the work was done, she took a deep breath.  "You OK?"

 

“No.”  Smiling wanly at Timewalker, Anton reached over with a hand and squeezed her arm.  “I will be though, you did well for your first time.  Just need to wrap the bandage about it and we’re done.”  Lifting his leg up slightly so she’d be able to put the bandage on, Anton realised what she’d said.  “And call me Anton.”

 

She wound the bandage around his leg, avoiding looking at him as she spoke.  "It wouldn't be right." She said as she shook her head slightly.  "I... I...  you... I don't deserve to call you that."

 

Looking down at Timewalker who seemed to be avoiding his gaze, Anton winced at the pressure being placed on his leg as he spoke.  “I don’t see it that way at all.  Why do you think yourself unworthy?”

 

"It's just... I don't have the right."  She looked up at him, but she could see he didn't understand.  He had no reason to and she wasn't sure he'd understand if she told him.  Still she needed him to.  After what she'd just done, she wanted him to understand why she couldn't call him by that name.  "I... Farpaw... I... I can't give you anything more than TimeWalker.  It isn't right for me to call you by name."

 

“No.”  Lazily pointing at her with one hand while his other held him up, Anton didn’t hesitate.  “Its fine for you to call me by my name.  I understand that you can’t give me anything other than Timewalker, even if I don’t understand the why of it.  But I’m giving you my name freely, and maybe one day you might feel ready to give me your name, even if tonight doesn’t seem to be it.  In the language of the wolves I might be Farpaw, but when you speak the tongue of man I will hear Anton or nothing at all.  And no, that is not open for discussion.”

 

She looked away then.  She didn't know how to handle this.  She didn't think she could do it.  She resigned herself to not saying his name, to not saying any name to him anymore if he was going to take offense at it.  She didn't know how else to handle it.  Still she needed to say something.  "Who I was... that name died a long time ago." She said quietly.

 

“That’s a load of ho-“  The bandage tightened as she tied up it up, but he forced himself to take a breath before he continued.  “That name didn’t die at all, and neither did you.  You’ve just buried it, but for as long as it remains buried it will haunt you.  Only way you’ll deal with it is to let it free.  Not tonight perhaps, not anytime soon, but someday.”

 

She didn't look at him, but she nodded.  There was nothing else to say about it.  No one could really understand what she was going through and she didn't know how to explain to him that the only way she could move foreward with her life if she thought of Anabel Leeson.  Anabel Leeson was gone and there was no way she could live with that name anymore.  Maybe she should just make up a name and let people think it was hers.  She didn't know if she could make that sort of lie work, but it was something to think about.  "I'll think about it." Was all she could say.

 

“You’d better.”  Laying back, he shimmied his pants back up and secured the belt again as he continued.  “Because I’ll be damned if I’ll see your demons have the better of you.  At anyrate, go and get some sleep, you’ll need the rest and we’ll be heading back tomorrow.”  Falling silent for a moment, Anton reached out and took Timewalker’s hand.  “You did well today, what happened was my fault.  Don’t doubt that.”

 

She did doubt it, but she wasn't going to fault him with it.  She understood that he had a kind soul and she thought well of him for it.  She looked at his hand holding hers and smiled softly at him.  "There was a lot to take in.  I'm sure my next lesson will be... less eventful." She said with a grin.

 

Smiling, he squeezed her hand.  "It will."