I would gently point out... Moraine IS using and trying to control him. She's very clear about it a few times (not to him) that her goal is to see him fullfill the prophecies, save the world and make it to the last battle. She openly discusses Gentling him afterwards, she makes it clear she's willing to make horrible choices to make sure what she wants happens. And in book 5, before her exit, when she's suddenly much more helpful and passive... She flat out tells Egwene it's because she figured out that's the best way to control him. "How do you embrace and channel Saidar?"

For what it's worth, I always took Aran'gar as proof that souls are biologically sexed for the most part but a person can be born wrong. Obviously everything that follows is speculation, but, as someone who kind of understood who I was even if my egg didn't break until far later... I always instinctively felt that Aran'gar was a lesson that it's very possible to be born transgender, even if that example was a forced situation. But, how would it ever really come up unless you had a case of a Transgender person becoming powerful, and how likely is that to happen? Think on it. #1) We represent 1% or less of the population. At best we're 1 out of every 100 and realistically we're more like 1 out of every thousand. #2) Society has to accept us for us to be something folks are aware of. I would imagine certain places in Randland would have no issue with a transgender person. But most of them just wouldn't grasp the concept and so wouldn't really ever address or deal with it. So on that level how many transgender people even recognize what they are? I can see the signs in my life going back to at least five years old, but I didn't grasp the concept until I was in my 30s and then I STILL spent another decade thinking it was too late to worry about it before I finally really accepted who I was and did something about it. How many people MIGHT be transgender but just never even knew it was an option to consider. #3) Channelers account for 1-2% of the population. So... if only 1 out of every possible 500 people is transgender, only 1 out of every 5000 is a transgender channeler? Now take into account the reality of learning unaided, because let's face it, no Aes Sedai is going around testing "men" for the spark. And that's just natural sparks, no one who could learn is ever going to find out. So, given that, I figure there are "men" who COULD wield Saidar and vice versus, but they never discover it, and the few who were sparks died. As an amusing side note, I did WoT RP back in the AOL days in the 90's. I invented a construct character like Gholam, except they used wrong souls for their body and channeled the corresponding side. (Yes, I played a man who wielded Saidar in my teens and never clicked anything odd about myself. 🙂 )