"I'll make it sweet and simple this time, just like our candidates ;)"

"Ze winner is Braxtonator, the man who thought that he had gotten pregnant from meeting a very special woman. This wonderful character was brought to you again by Sam, so sadly we cannot hear his hilarious Award speech."

"But thank goodness we have Youtube. How did we manage without it? So be your own self-help guy person and head there for some serious fun."

"That's all folks. Thank you so much for reading, voting and nominating... and most importantly, writing such awesome RPs. Keep it up and see you next year! Ta ta."

"Proper tragicomedy couldn't be found for your innocent minds, so I hope that these films amuse you. Violence seems to always be a safe option to sex. Enjoy."

"It is so hard to be evil.

"Not exactly Wheel of Time but maybe this inspires one of you to make a similar parody of WoT.

"I'm really glad that I could organize the Awards and honour the best roleplays of year 2007. I couldn't have imagined better co-hosts than Empy and Barm. Thank you for contributing. And thank you for everyone who nominated and voted. And of course our awesome writers. Without you people there would be no Awards."

"To me the Most Impressive Storyline Award is kind of the culmination of the Awards and I wanted to spare it for the last day. In these threads the idea for the story is great and it is made truly perfect by good writing."

"If you have read even one of these threads, I doubt that you would consider it a waste of time. Quite an ecclective collection we have."

"Accepted analysing the Tower:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,17545.0.html"

"Aes Sedai familiarizing themselves with the Age of Legends under tutelage of a Forsaken:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,18925.0.html"

"Dreadlord and Aes Sedai making sure that an ancient enemy stays imprisoned:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,21714.0.html"

"Loss of a beloved friend:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,21311.0.html"

"Occupation, rebellion and resolution:

- Prologue: http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,11178.0.html

- Sons & Daughters:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,11405.0.html

- Janus & Gemini:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,17574.0.html

- Darkness & Shadow:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,17540.0.html

- Distractions:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,21861.0.html

- Dark Before Dawn:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,18958.0.html

- Crimson Stains & Black Veils:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,21971.0.html

- Blood & Ashes:  http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,23857.0.html"

"Kicking some Forsaken ass and saving a nation:

- Act 1: http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,11154.0.html

- Act 2: The Hive: http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,17578.0.html

- Act 3: Hornet's Nest: http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,22386.0.html"

"Attempt to break a Warder's faith in Light and the Aes Sedai:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,17881.0.html"

"Coconut Fun:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,487.0.html"

"A NaNoWriMo story in DM style:

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,24158.0.html"

"It's a damn hard choice between these 9 but the people have spoken. Barm, who is the winner?"

"Thank you Empy. To keep suspense, we'll use the concept of 50/50 to whittle down candidates."

"Lessee, we could leave Rory's celebration, Phantom Menace, He-Man and Interrogation class. They have the uniting factor that they all involve the same player who won the Empy last year for the funniest thread or something like that. That's a pretty strong track record for comedy."

"In fact, the winning thread might have been the very same thread that you chose as the winner now. I will give you three hints: it contains words 'Except him', features a prostitute and last but not least, the Coconut."

"Yes, you got it right. The winner is Phantom Menace! Congratulations Sam. You can't receive your Award but that doesn't make your contributions to making DM a funnier place are any less."

This time the curtain lifting reveals a stage set with a table and three chairs. Arette is hidden behind a screen which says 'GM' and Empy and Barm have in front of them papers and dices.

"Alright, we are going to play this really awesome adventure game where you loot treasure in dungeons and kill dragons."

"Wait, but there is only one Dragon and you can't just kill him or the Pattern will go all wonky. Or are we going to kill False Dragons? That I'm totally ok with."

"Oh, alright, you want to play in the WoT setting. I have created you pre-generated characters. Just erase the names and think up something more WoTish."

"I want to be called Rand al'Thor and I'm going to be the strongest channeler in the world and a blademaster too. I can kick ass of 6 fighters at the same time, just like in the books."

Arette sighs. "We are going to play 1st level characters. They suck. And you can do just one or the other, use magic or fight."

"I don't want to fight at all. I want to play a Tinker and follow the Way of the Leaf."

"But but... you only get experience when you kill things and take their treasure."

"But isn't that like murder and stealing?"

"Well, this is just a game. And besides the people and creatures you kill, they are evil. They need to die. And it's like pre-emptive self-defense. Kinda."

"Oh poo, this sounds pretty boring. I would much rather create a DM character because they can be so much more dimensional."

"Yes, we could have so much cooler stories too that aren't just about killing. Why don't you write a bio too and start roleplaying." All three turn to look at the audience and flash photogenic smiles.

"Please stay tuned. After a small break Barm will give you some prime examples of just what kind of awesome stuff you can do."

The audience closest to the mud pool is sprayed with brown substance and the cheering subsides slowly as the curtains close.

"My my, that was quite a show. I will not torment you any longer. We have two worthy candidates of the scary kind."

"'Healer, Killer, Aes Sedai. There is no going back' contains some... ahem, more adult action that might terrify innocent minds." (http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,19707.0.html)

"The other illustrious candidate already won the Darkest Deeds Award. Will Talon and two innocent dead children take a double victory? You have made the decision."

(http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,25364.0.html)

"Barm has the envelope containing the name. Lets all give him a cheer." *begins the Barm chant*

*eyes Empy's leather clad feminine bottom with an appreciative smile and hums quietly tugging her earlobe*

"Blood and ashes Lews Therin, you just have to stop that. This is my body. Mine! Why me? It's so hard to share my mind with a madman long since dead. Especially when our taste in women / drags is totally different."

"Ahem, but there was something I had to do. Ah yes, Barm, thank you for kicking the ass of Rocky Horror. You are my hero!"

*notices the patient looks she is given* "Was there something else too? Ah, yes."

*fishes a letter from her bodice* "I get to tell you the winner." *scans*

"You know, I really liked that thread with a chick with a big sword. That's the winner."

"Shut the *beep* up, Lews. I'm in charge here!"

"Ne ne ner ner, catch me if you can. How about that other thread then, the one with woman getting attacked in the Dreamworld and another one saving her? Makes me want to cuddle and comfort the poor her."

"I swear that I'm going to shoot myself/us if you don't stop this instant. The winner has chicks and fighting, so it should satisfy even you, Lews. I happy to announce that the Knife Point Confessions featuring James, Andrea and Arette got the most votes."

"Congratulations!"

*shields her eyes as she enters the stage* "Empy, it took me 24 hours to gather my courage and come and announce the candidates. That dress is almost creepier than our nominees."

"In this category we have a very special situation, only two candidates competing for the highest prize. I thought that this merits a very special break and performance in between..."

"Ladies and gentlemen..." A curtain of smaller stage rises and reveals a mud pool with two women glaring at each others and flexing their muscles. "Jaydena vs. Kathana. Which one is tougher and meaner? There can be only one winner."

Listens to cheers of the audience with a satisfied smile as the two fighters lunge at each others.

*sighs and comes to stand beside Empy*

"That is like so yesterday. These days the stalkers like me use Google and facebook. But I have to say it, you have style man. That must have made a helluva first impression on your wife." *highfives*

“Anyways, we have 11 lovely couples to cover. To make it interesting, I will let a quote to speak for the whole thread. Can you recognise which awesome RP is in question?”

"Silly, why are you crying? Don't cry."

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,24635.0.html

“"I do no be knowing how to work this... staff in the right manner."

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php?topic=19499.html

“I could have hurt you if I had not recognized you!”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,20766.0.html

“You have no idea what my feelings for you are like if you think that.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,23509.0.html

“Just as long as I get to be on top in our relationship.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,23283.0.html

“If someone had put us in a room with a keg of wine the first time we met, I’m sure one of us would have ended up dead.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,19159.0.html

“Shivering is good.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,11335.0.html

“Both you and I, have left things unsaid.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,25063.0.html

“There are times when I just want to lose myself in your eyes and forget that there is a world out there.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,20693.0.html

“Make yourself useful and spread out that blanket for us.”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,20366.0.html

”You’re really here?”

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,19205.0.html

“Phew. There. And now if it is Barmie doll’s turn let us know who won.”

The gala room is dark again and single circle of light follows a woman seating herself to a chair and holding a guitar. The strings plucked produce a mournful melody and the only thing sadder is how off the note her voice is.

“Weep, weep, weep for the sucker.

King Mark was made a cuckold.

Nephew Tristan did the deed.

Screwed auntie Isolde, sweet like mead.

There are boos among the audience and the woman glares around in anger. She breaks the guitar on the chair and stomps on the pieces tugging her braid. “Fine then, I am not a bloody guitar hero.”

“Siegfried and Brunhilde, Romeo and Juliet, Scarlett and Rhett… yadda yadda. All dramatic couples. DR PSW seems to like them too as we nominated so many for the Dramatic Drama.”

“There were some other kind of stories too but the script says that now it is Empy’s turn. He shall tell us more.”

Arette exits the stage singing “See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the drama queen.”

*rushes to the stage dramatically late in a never-before-seen bright red dress crowned by a feather boa*

"You should never hurry a lady. You know how long it takes us to prepare. And Empy! Argh, my eyes! It hurts. No more milkshake for you."

"And what was that about me picking up a pencil?" *eyes Barm with suspicion* "I am not wearing a mini skirt and we are so not playing prisoner and soap bar game again. Not this public anyway."

"Ahem, but there was something, I was supposed to do." *pulls out a letter and opens it carefully*

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have the name of the winner here. I'm sure that you all really want to hear it. But how much do you want it? Would you be willing to brush Owen's pet trolloc Kneecap Handicapper? Or slip on a pink tutu and join Empy's dance at the backstage?"

"I am a Lightfool myself so I will soon get charges of torture and crimes against humanity. But I just have to tell you a little story first. A story about a little boy who grew up to be very wicked indeed. It is even related to the topic as it is the story of our winner."

"Once upon a time in Cairhien there was a family that wasn't a very happy family. Rough upbringing can twist even the most hopeful heart and the boy of the family turned to the Dark One. He was taken under a wing by a notable scoundrel and taught the craft of a rogue. Over the years he honed his sadism and Dreamwalking skills."

"When the Aiel returned to Cairhien, he was there to rain death on them from the shadows. The man who had become a father to the boy was dead by the hands of the chief of the savages and he thirsted for revenge. His brother had his chance and he squandered it and the rest of the family in the Rogue's Guild did not lift a finger either. They all had to die for that."

"An eye for an eye was his motto and the Dreamworld his domain. He didn't tolerate an untrained witch sniffing around and when another came to her rescue, she had to pay. That is the story that you elected the darkest this year. How her children paid the price of mother's 'sins'.

"So who is this dark figure who got, not only one, but two nominations?"

*drumdroll* "The Darkest Deed of 2007 is the Silence of the Lambs starred by Talon."

"Sadly the player of Talon whose-name-cannot-be-mentioned is unable to come and claim his Award in person. Evil radiation from Shayol Ghul also prevents us from showing the video of his thank you speech."

"But show must go on, so stay tuned for the next exciting Awards. We will continue after a commerce break."

*screens flash to life with ad of TravelEx, Randland's fastest courier service, powered by Saidin*

The buzz of the audience quiets as a pompous fanfar sounds and the lights of the grand gala room begin to dim. The curtain of the stage rises revealing a scantily clad blond woman basking in the limelight. She is flanked by males in pink tutus and the music gathers tempo as the singing starts. Or well, it is more like moans and sighs and occasional suggestive lines that match the sensual writhing MTV calls dancing these days. Once the performance is over and the audience applauds - some politely, some more enthusiastically - a circle of light follows another woman emerging. As she takes her place at a podium in the center of the stage, she thanks quietly the Light that the low cut dress of the singer didn't lead to any kind of mishaps. Nipples most definately would not be PG13.

Her voice is carrying and steady. “Welcome to the very first Amazingly Lovable Immensely Nostalgic Award Gala! I am Arette, one of your hosts for this year's ceremony. Please welcome also my partners in crime, Emperor and Barmacral." Circles of light follow the two men as they make their dramatic entrances and Arette waits for the applause to die down before continuing.

“Dragonmount has offered a fun and interesting place for role-players and fans of Robert Jordan’s books since 1998, and over the years we have become the largest Wheel of Time community online. Our Dragon Reborn Portal Stone World is the closest thing to an official Wheel of Time roleplay that there is, so there are big expectations to fill. 2007 has been a good year writing wise for us and the 57 threads nominated for these Awards are prime examples of what we are capable of. We are all storytellers and talented writers who love our characters. We really breathe life into them and I am confident that our interpretation of RJ's world would meet the approval of the Creator himself."

“These Awards are paying homage to what we have accomplished together. The most wonderful thing is that tonight’s nominees are only a portion of the incredible stories written this year. I hope that next year many more people will stand in this stage as winners and that there will be completely new talent among them."

"But I am certain that you are already anxiously awaiting us to get to the part where the winners are revealed. So I'll leave the floor to Barm, who will present our nominees for the Loftiest Light Lover of 2007." Arette claps her hands together with enthusiasm among the others and steps aside as Barm steps behind the microphone.

Here are some thoughts about what could possibly done better with the Alin Awards next time.

- Restrict the number of candidates / category to just 5 or so. It is a hard choice to prune out awesome threads nominated but it lowers the threshold to vote.

- Allow one RP to be as a candidate for only one category. This will help to achieve also lesser numbers of categories. For example this year Laurel Crown was nominated for both Adventure and Most Impressive Storyline, so the organiser would have to choose for which it is more appropriate.

- Maybe consider splitting categories which are getting alot of nominations. For example some Darkest Deeds candidates could have been moved to Horror category.

- Start advertising much earlier and hype the Awards also to the Community people.

That's all folks :) I hope that you will all be keeping an eye on the Ceremony threads.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The voting for the Alin Awards has closed. Thank you everyone, who took the time to read the awesome candidate threads and cast your votes.

Instead of just announcing the winners in one batch, there will be a separate thread for each category where the winner will be unveiled. The Ceremony threads will be hosted by Emperor and Barmacral and the winners are welcome to come and claim their Awards if it is just possible.

To hold the suspension for a little longer, the Ceremony threads will be started over this week.

Statistics

In total 16 people voted. Not everyone voted for all the categories so I will also list the number of votes per category.

Light Lover: 16 votes

Darkest Deeds: 15 votes

Romance: 14 votes

Drama: 14 votes

Action: 14 votes

Horror: 16 votes

Adventure: 14 votes

Fun: 14 votes

Storyline: 14 votes

Oh Woe: 14 votes

Rainbows: 13 votes

Could someone please unsticky this :) Thank you in advance.

[radio edit] done and done <3

Congratulations Jenny and best of luck!

Thank you very much, Shan! :)

It would be really interesting to have Annais play the accuser. Although with Jason's response to James, I doubt that I will be staying in DM after completing the Alin Awards :( I am emailing you about this, though.

Thank you very much, Mat :)

Since Andrea has left us, I doubt that we'll never learn which project ideas she refered to. Any Staffers have insight on this?

I would like to help you out, Wendy.

Only how does the Gray Ajah Raising ceremony work? Have we ever figured it out? I know that Reds and Greens have their own special thing.

Writing is the most important part of DM and I think that we all could use a reminder of what is cool about this place.

So what RP are you involved in currently or planning that gets you all jazzed and excited to come back?

For me it is an RP that hasn't been posted yet. I don't even have a bio for the character but I really wanted to start RPing him immediately. It is an unexpected and quite hilarious meeting between him and the M'Hael of the Black Tower.

We all love this site and want to see it become a better place. There is always something to improve, so what kind of small changes would you like to see in the DR PSW?

No idea is too trivial or small. Just please keep it constructive and somewhat realistic.

- I think that it would be really useful if the descriptions of the Geographical RP boards listed the countries which fall under that direction. Despite being an old member, I still have sometimes difficulties with determining whether Ghealdan is South or West etc.

What in your opinion are/should be the values the PSW operates on? And how should the values show in practice?

Here is my list:

Fun

- We are here to write and enjoy each others' company. That should be everyone's first priority.

- The Staff members should do their best to remove obstacles to fun (e.g. ineffective approval systems) and to enhance it (e.g. by actively fostering creation of new RP ideas)

-  Every time a Staff member makes a decision, they should consider how it affects the fun of members. Allowing someone to make a total godder character would be detrimental to other people's fun. But shooting down a slightly unconventional RP that would be fun for many and harmful to none should not be done.

- All the members should do their best to help the others to have fun, be it by starting OOC conversations (if you enjoy those) or by RPing actively and coming up with new plots

Friendly

- All members should treat each others with respect and how they would like to be treated

- Special attention is given to new members so that they feel welcomed and find their way around

- Mentoring and teaching are supremely important and should be encouraged by the Staff members

- Close attention is paid to retaining members and Divisions make sure that no character is left to a vacuum with nothing to do and no one to play with

- Staff members are easily accessible and communicate professionally

- We should share the love and make sure that as many WoT fans as possible find their way to DM. That means marketing, people

Fair

- All members are treated equally

- The Staff has no favourites

- Any problem cases are dealt with according to the clearly stated rules. If it is not yet written into the rules, the ‘offending’ member cannot be penalized

Fast (could also be Efficient but 4 Fs sound better)

- It should be as easy as possible for new members to join the site. We should constantly try to see the system with fresh eyes and change complicated practices.

- Bio approval should not take longer than 3 days.

- Staff members should reply all contacts within 3 days.

- Web pages & Division stickies should be constantly up to date

Transparent

- All rules are clearly written down and communicated to all members

- Staff writes memos (summaries) of all important conversations that they have among themselves on IMs and the Staff board. The memos are then posted for all members to see.

- Monthly Staff reports are posted in public as they are or the RP Admin makes a summary of them.

- There is a clear criterion for what counts as a good Staff and it should be constantly measured. If good communications and friendliness are criteria, it needs to be measured reliably.

Do you agree or disagree? Would you add something else to the list or remove something?

Thanks for the update :) I hope that life settles down and that in a week we will have you back at full force.

Congratulations :) Blissful marital life to you and your beloved.