Delusions of Grandeur (ATTN: Elgee)

[AddiBeth]

So, here she was.

 

A few months back, the size of Tar Valon would have left Addi staring in shock.  However, after her journey here, the country bumpkin thought herself very worldly having seen cities the great cities of Caemlyn and Cairhien.  In fact, Addison thought quite a lot of herself, having reached Tar Valon with few incidences.

 

In reality, she’d gotten very, very lucky.  She’d been barely half a day outside Bradon’s Hill when she came upon a peddler, lumbering along in his wagon.  Seeing a sixteen year-old girl riding what was obviously a plough-horse, carrying no provisions, he’d asked her what she was doing.  When Addi had said she was running away, he started laughing until he caught a look of her face.  Realising she was actually serious, and too naive to know how ridiculous her “plan” was, he decided to make a deal with her.  Luckily for Addison, the peddler was just a good businessman rather than some sort of criminal.  In exchange for her horse, which he ended up pawning off at the next village, he hired her.

 

So, Addi spent the next six months wandering steadily north.  She helped the Erik the Peddler sell good from town to town, often utilising her limited skill hunting to catch rabbits and other small game for their dinner.  She took care of the old mare that pulled the wagon and the other livestock her employer would occasionally acquire.  It was hard to tell who had ended up with the better end of the deal; Addi was granted protection and board while Erik got practically free help.

 

Originally, Addison didn’t have any specific destination, but the more she travelled, the more her heart became set on Tar Valon, especially when Erik mentioned travelling to the island.  She dreamed of becoming a powerful Aes Sedai who wielded unimaginable powers, to whom kings would bow—even better, she was the Amyrlin Seat, the most powerful person in the world!  Erik would simply roll his eyes as she prattled on about her visions of grandeur.

 

Eventually they had arrived here.  Addison had bid her peddler friend goodbye and followed the huge white pinnacle towards her destiny. 

 

Finding her way to the Tower wasn’t difficult; the route was packed with people right up to the massive gates which led onto the Tower’s grounds.  Standing below the massive edifice, nerves finally hit.  When asked about her business in the Tower, Addi could barely stutter out a response.  She was led to the doors of the Tower itself where she was handed off to a woman in white who seemed maybe a few years older than she.  The other woman spoke a handful of monosyllables and set off through hallways Addison couldn’t have imagined existed.  For all her supposed “worldliness” the White Tower struck her dumb with awe.

 

After some time following the girl through hallway after hallway, each more grand than the next, Addi found herself standing before a large wooden door.  The woman in white knocked on the door and then, without a word, left poor Addison who was feeling more than a little intimidated by the enormousness of everything around her.  A voice from inside whatever room it was beckoned her inside.  Gulping in an attempt to lubricate her suddenly very dry throat, she opened the door and peaked inside.

 

The woman behind the desk stared at her.  Addison was afraid her legs would give out because they were shaking so badly.  After a moment, she remembered a bit of advice from Erik: “Never anger an Aes Sedai; they expect to be respected and if they aren’t, well...”  She bent awkwardly at the waist and spread her skirt in a sort of half-bow, half-curtsy, which must have looked like she had just accidently stumbled over her own feet.

 

“Aes Sedai.  I’m here to become a Novice?”

[Elgee]

Larindhra stood sipping her tea as she stared out of the window at the Tower Gardens spread out below her. The lush flowers and inviting stretches of grass did not engage her attention, however. Instead, she pondered on the matter that most often caused her anxiety. Few women came to the Tower to be tested, and of those, even fewer had the potential to channel.

 

Sighing, she turned away from the vista outside and deposited her empty cup on the tea tray. Fretting over those they did not find would not get the records updated of those they did have. Resigned to yet another few hours of poring over reports, she seated herself and drew the next one towards her, only to be saved from the task by a knock on the door. “Enter!”  Larindhra stared at the scruffy girl peering nervously at her. The girl was very obviously not one of the Tower servants, which must mean …

 

“Aes Sedai.  I’m here to become a Novice?”

 

Glad as she was to hear that, she was still going to peel the hide off the girl who had just left her at the door with no explanation or announcement. “Well, come in and sit down, child. I take it you have not been tested?” By the blank look on the girl’s face and slow shake of the head, she presumed she was correct. “Very well then, let’s see if you have the potential.” She fished the gem she used for the test from her drawer and suspended it between them with a Flow or Air whilst feeding a trickle of Spirit into it. “I want you to relax and look at the gem. Concentrate only on the gem … nothing else exists …“ she droned in a soothing voice, guaranteed to relax even the most nervous girl. Eventually she kept quiet, hoping that would help, but there was no resonance, no flicker in the gem.

 

After many minutes, she reluctantly released the gem and restored it to the drawer. Regret filled her voice, as she broke the news. “I’m sorry, child, but there is no possibility that you could learn to channel.”

 

 

Larindhra Reyne

Mistress of Novices

 

[AddiBeth]

Tested?  There was a test she had to pass?  She knew her basic numbers and could read and write, more or less, but the Aes Sedai was so... very wise—or at least, so she assumed because surely there weren’t any stupid Aes Sedai.  There was no way Addi’s rudimentary education would be sufficient to match any test given by a woman who must have seen centuries pass!  After all, the Sisters of the White Tower were immortal.  Well, that’s what she’d heard, anyways.

 

The speed of human thought is incredible, particularly that of doubt.  In the breath between the Aes Sedai’s sentences, Addison had already begun to doubt the carefully-laid plan she’d created during the months it had taken to travel here.  When the Aes Sedai explained that the test was to ensure she had the ability to channel, Addi was immediately relieved.  This couldn’t be so hard!

 

She jumped a little when a gem the Aes Sedai had produced suddenly rose in the air of its own accord.  After the initial shock, her imagination went wild, thinking of the things she would be able to do with the One Power...  She’d lead an army against the Blight!  No...  She’d singlehandedly bring down a male channeller!  Even better...  The Dragon would be reborn and she’d help him defeat the Dark One once and for all!

 

Addison stared at the gem as the Aes Sedai had instructed.  She was the gem...  Only the gem...  Just think of the things she could do with the One Power!  No, wait!  She was the gem...  There was nothing but the gem...  Only the gem...  Jake would be so jealous!  Damn it, no!  Only the gem... 

 

The Aes Sedai fell silent, Addi glanced up at her to check that she was still supposed to be staring at the gem—which was probably worth more than everything Erik the Peddler had owned.  Right, back to the gem...  Must... keep... staring... at... the... gem...  She yawned.

 

Then came the last words she’d expected to hear: “I’m sorry, child, but there is no possibility that you could learn to channel.”

 

There had to be some mistake!  Maybe she hadn’t stared at the gem long enough; maybe she hadn’t concentrated hard enough?  “No, no, Aes Sedai.  I can channel, I’m sure of it!  I want to be an Aes Sedai!  I kept thinking about all these things I could...  Just let me try again, I’ll concentrate this time, I promise!”

[Elgee]

Larindhra shook her head with profound regret. “I really am sorry child, for the Tower as much as for you … but if there was any possibility, it would have shown by now.”  She squared some papers on her desk to avoid eye contact. She disliked having to deal with girls like this almost as much as she did those rare ones who burned themselves out. No Aes Sedai liked having to deal with that, but to her it was particularly bad – they were her charges, and she was the one who had to comfort them and help them find a new life. At least this girl would not be suffering from the shock of that loss.

 

“Isn’t there something else you’re good at? There are many ways to serve the Light, you know …” She stared helplessly at the bereft face in front of her. “Do you like teaching children, or sewing, or cooking, perhaps?” Judging by the look on the girl’s face, that was most definitely not where her interests lay. She seemed more the tomboy type, really. “What about weapons training? Maybe you could join the Tower Guard … become some Aes Sedai’s warder one day … “

 

Desperate to get rid of the girl and all she represented, Larindhra reached into her belt purse and withdrew a handful of silver. She rose and walked around her desk, handing the girl the money as she gave her shoulder a squeeze. “This should tide you over until you can find your place in life, child. Remember, the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills …“  Small comfort, but it was all she had to give.

 

 

Larindhra Reyne

Mistress of Novices

 

[AddiBeth]

The Aes Sedai refused to look her in the eyes now.  The future Addi had planned for was crashing down around her head and the Aes Sedai couldn’t look her in the eyes!  She was a failure, a disappointment!  Maybe there was something else she could do to become an Aes Sedai?  “But...”  The woman shook her head.

 

Questions were asked, but the barely registered in Addison’s reeling mind.  She would never be an Aes Sedai.  She would never do all those incredible things she’d dreamed about for years.  All those feelings that she was different, better, not just a boring farm girl—they were all a lie.  Jake would be happy, he’d smile and hug her and ask her to marry him.  They’d raise a family together and take care of the farm together, but they wouldn’t be happy together.  Addison wouldn’t be happy.

 

The woman mentioned becoming a Warder, but it tasted bittersweet.  Warders took care of Aes Sedai, Addi wanted to be an Aes Sedai.  But she couldn’t just go home.  Dejected, Addi took a bag of coins from the woman and let herself be dismissed.  The Aes Sedai had better things to do, like test the girls would could channel.

 

Heavy steps led away from the White Tower.