[COL] AoL High Volume five

[Justen Diablos]

Dramatis Personae

 

Lews Therin ~ The Dragon

Elan Morin ~ Ishamael

Ishar Morrad ~ Aginor

Tel Janin ~ Sammael

Ared Mosinel ~ Rahvin

Mierin Eronaile ~ Lanfear

Saine Terasind ~ Mesaana

Barid Bel ~ Demandred

Joar Addam Nessosin ~ Asmodeon

Kamarile Moradim ~ Graendal

Eval Ramman ~ Balthamel

Duram Laddel ~ Be'lal

Lillen Moiral ~ Moghedian

Nemene Damender ~ Semirhage

 

Also Starring

 

Latra Posae

Ilyena Moerelle

 

Politics

 

The group assembled around the table was the most impressive ingathering of men Lews had seen to date at his school.  There was first and foremost himself (of course).  Barid Bel, who was second only to Lews in notoriety.  Tel Janin, the schools biggest athelete.  Ishar Morrad, the genius.  Eval Ramman, who had arrived with Ishar and been surprisingly insightful thus far.  Elan Morin, Lews’ closest friend.  His Vice candidate Ared Mosinel.  And finally his girlfriend Mierin (though she was definitely not a man).  All of this activity centered around just one man, Duram Laddel, his primary advisor.  Duram had taken point in the campaign since Tel had pointed out to Lews the man’s affinity for planning.

 

Duram:  Three days to election people, and while we’re polling ahead right now we cannot become complacent.  I’ve called this meeting to find out where you all stand.  Plus I’m going to outline my 72 hours to the Presidency plan.

 

Lews again found himself glancing around the table.  There were a few people there that he didn’t like and even a few he didn’t respect (actually he respected none of them).  Not their fault really, they tried, they just weren’t him.  Still he needed them all, the important thing was that these people were liked and respected by the other students.  So he placated them, sure they never noticed.

 

Duram:  First, Tel Janin, where do we stand with the jocks?

 

Tel Janin:  The student atheletes are almost one hundred percent behind Lews.  Tel Janin has been among them, and Tel Janin has heard nothing but how much this election means to the men at this school.  Bottom line, Tel Janin guarantee’s their support.

 

Eval:  What’s up with the third person crap anyway?

 

Tel Janin:  Tel Janin will have you know this isn’t crap.  Tel Janin has ascended beyond the use of…

 

Ared:  Yeah Yeah, we’ve heard it all before.  I know the rest of you have nothing better to do with their Firstday afternoon but Kid rock-a-by A bay gots some pipe to lay if you know what I’m saying.

 

Ishar:  Not really, no.

 

Eval:  I’ll explain later.

 

Ared;  Now if you two ladies are through maybe we can get this meeting moving.  Your boy kiss n’ tell Mosinel has got real business to be about today.

 

Mierin:  Ared, you can go wenching anytime, this is important.  You did ask to be the vice if you remember.

 

Her eyes flashed at him as she spoke.

 

Ared:  You know what sugar?  If you brought the thunder, and ‘put you to bed’ Ared brought the lightening we’d make one hell of a storm together.  Enough to blow your doors off if you know what the A number one of x-rated fun is saying.

 

Ishar:  I’m lost, you’ll explain that later as well?

 

Eval:  That actually made no sense.

 

Ishar:  Oh, good then.

 

Duram;  Ahem, moving on.  Ishar, how’s operation ‘snag the female vote’ going?

 

Ishar:  Pretty well actually.  Between myself and Eval we’ve delivered a lovely house plant to every girl on campus.  All of them carrying a heartwarming little tale about puppies or babies and how much Lews cares.  Written by Lews himself of course.

 

Duram:  Who really wrote them?

 

Ishar:  Joar Addam, he’s really quite good at that sappy stuff.

 

Lews:  Where is he by the way?

 

Tel Janin;  The little bastard turned against us.  A source close to Tel Janin says it’s because of the way we constantly ridicule him about his singing.

 

Lews:  He’s so gay.

 

Duram:  Could we please stay on track people?  Any statistics from your operation to indicate whether or not it’s succeeding?

 

Ishar:  As a matter of fact yes.  Of the women we’ve delivered plants to Eval’s managed to get twelve phone numbers.  I’ve only gotten three, but I’m still in sort of a training period.  Four women weren’t ever in their rooms, so we had to deliver them in class.  According to Eval seventeen of the women hadn’t shaved their legs in at least a week and two of them had left it a month.  Of those I got one number.  Eval said it didn’t couunt, otherwise I’d have four.  He did say I should saddle up and ride though, because she might *@#* like a wild forest nymph.  I’m not sure what that means.

 

Eval:  Nothing but good things my friend.  As for statistics we also had one death.

 

Barid:  How did that happen?

 

Eval:  Wrong plant *Eval shrugs*.  Sometimes s**t happens when you party naked.

 

Duram:  I’d imagine it does.  You two wouldn’t have any useful statistics would you?

 

The two share a glance with each other and shrug.

 

Duram:  I didn’t think so.  Barid, you’ve been fairly quiet.  What do you think?

 

Barid: Well, my thoughts are thu…

 

As Barid begins Lews stands up.

 

Lews:  Sorry, but I’ve gotta take a leak.  I’ve been holding it too long.  You guys go ahead without me, I’ll be right back.

 

As he leaves the room all eyes follow him, though Mierin by far watches him the closest.

 

Duram:  Go ahead Barid.

 

Barid:  Yes well, as I was saying… I think we should strongly focus on issues.  In talking to the people around campus I’ve heard a lot of dissatisfaction from the folk about how this whole race is turning into a gender war.  Both men and women are none to happy with Latra.  The only reason she has support at all is because both campaigns have drawn lines in the sand between men and women but haven’t distinguished differences in policy.  We can win on issues, all we need to do is define ours and point out the shortcomings in theirs.  What do you all think?

 

…

 

Ishar:  Lews has been gone a long time.

 

Tel Janin:  Yes it doesn’t feel the same for Tel Janin without Lews here.

 

Mierin:  I know where he is.  He’s out with her again!  I’ll shave her bald and tattoo slut all over her head, as for him…

 

Just then Lews walks back in.

 

Lews:  So what’d I miss?

 

Mierin strides across the room and slaps him in the face.

 

Lews:  What was that for?

 

Mierin:  You know exactly what that was for.  You’ve been entertaining thaat milksop again haven’t you?  HAVEN’T YOU!?

 

Ishar:  What’s a milksop?

 

Eval:  Got me, hey how do my calves look?  I have a date later.

 

Ishar:  They look really well-turned and nicely shaped.  Have you been working out?

 

Eval:  I do ten reps of twenty calf extensions every morning.

 

Ishar:  Nice.

 

Lews:  Guys! Please.  *turning to his girlfriend* Mierin you know I couldn’t have been with anyone else, you’re the love of my life.  You’re my everything.  You…complete…me.  I was just in the bathroom.

 

Mierin:  Save it!  You were gone for two-hundred and four seconds, normally it only takes between one-hundred ten and one-hundred thirty-two depending on what you’ve had to drink in the six hour period prior. So my calculations, factoring in variables for uncomfortable stall delay and slowed walking due to a possible wet floor you should have been back no less than eighty-one seconds ago.

 

Lews:  The janitor was in the restroom down the hall.  I had to go upstairs!  It took longer.  I swear pumpkin.

 

Mierin:  Hmmmm.  Let me see… down the hall…double back…up the stairs…account for four to five seconds if you tripped or stumbled…carry the one… Oh Lews! I’m soooo sorry.  Will you forgive my jealous nature?

 

Lews:  I’d forgive you anything love puddin’.

 

The two start to kiss.

 

Elan:  Piffle

 

Ishar:  Bless you

Duram:  I’m sorry?

 

Elan;  I said piffle.  You all sit around and plan and scheme. As if in the end any of it will matter.  As if when the darkness comes it will care one fig about your schemes, or be sympathetic to your feeble plans.  The fires of dhoom will cook your eyes like hamburger meat, so much for seeing the fruit of your plots then.  The burning of hades will seer your ears like bacon, what then will the whispers of your discussions avail you?  In fact how will you give voice to those whispers when your tongue cooks like sausage over the flames of eternal damnation?  All you’ll smell is the giant cookfire that was mankind, taking away pain and replacing it with the cold feel of death.  Will it really matter who won this tiny election then?  Will it light fools?  When the world burns like steak on a charcoal grill?

 

Eval;  Is he always like that?

 

Ishar:  Pretty much, are you hungry?

 

Eval:  I am actually.

 

Lews:  Jeez Elan, did you forget your sane drops again?

 

Elan:  Oops, sorry.

 

As Elan takes his little colered pills the room recollects itself and everyone begins to look around for someone to take the floor.

 

Lews:  Well I have an idea.  What if we spend the next three days focusing only on the issues?  We’ll point out the differences between the two campaigns and explain why we’re the right choice for president.

 

Mierin:  That’s a magnificent idea sweetie.

 

Tel Janin:  You know Lews?  Tel Janin is again in awe of your genius.

 

Barid:  But…

 

Ishar:  That really is a good plan Lews.

 

Ared: I must admit the pinnacle of, erm, sin…ac..le is impressed.  And frankly running out of plays on his own name.

 

Barid:  Seriously guys…

 

Duram:  That is a much better idea than my four hundred twelve step plan entitled ‘seventy two hours to the Presidency’.  Always good to work with a master.  Still, maybe I can adapt this plan for later use.

 

Eval:  Can I go now?

 

Barid:  Am I the only one who see’s what’s happening here? 

 

Surprisingly the only one who seems to have heard Barid is Elan, who eyes him intently.  For a second Elan’s eyes spark into flame as the two share a moment.

 

Elan:  Soon enough Barid we’ll have our blood.  Pain and sorrow will follow in our wake like the hounds of death.  But for now, in this place, let the Lord of Chaos rule.

 

Barid looks around to see if anyone else has heard Elan but finds himself alone as the rest are intent on congratulating Lews.  Looking back he see’s Elan laughing, the flames fill his mouth now too.  Barid shivers.

 

__________________________________________________________________

 

Across campus there was another such meeting.  Latra Posae, Lews’ opponent in the campaign is also trying to figure out the best way to win the election.  With her is the noted astcetic Kamarile Moradim, the gifted medic Nemene Damender, the student teacher Saine Terasind, and the world renowned artist Joar Addam Nessosin.

 

Latra:  Ladies, and Joar, we’re behind in this election.  That’s unacceptable, there’s no way we should allow a mere man to defeat us.  How is this happening?  Kamarile, you’re a psych major, can you explain this?

 

Kamarile:  Yes I can.  Men hate you, every one of them.  You know what?  Hate isn’t even the right term, how about loathe?  Yes, that a good word, a descriptive word.

 

Latra:  But why?

 

Kamarile:  Well, it could be because of the smear campaign Lews has been running against you since day one…

 

Latra:  Lews.  Leave it to a man to resort to such low brow behavior.  Though I suppose I should expect nothing else from the lesser gender.

 

Kamarile:… but it’s probably because of comments like those you feel the need to make so publicly.

 

Latra:  I state my beliefs, and I will not be silenced because these shaven monkeys find the truth offensive.  Most of them aren’t even qualified to make a decision about when to use the bathroom let alng the fate of the school.  Pfft, besides, what have I really said that so hurt the feelings of our thin-brained opponents?

 

Kamarile:  Is that a serious question?

 

Saine:  The past is not the point.  While we can learn from our mistakes we can’t allow ourselves to live them over again.  The question is what we do from here on out.

 

Kamarile:  Saine’s correct, we need to come up with a new strategy.

 

Saine:  But what?  What can we do to get the male vote?  We need at least some of them to swing the election to our side.  Joar you’re a man, sort of, *Nemene snickers* what do you want?

 

Joar:  We’re not all that complicated really, but that’s not the point.  There is absolutely no way any man will vote for Latra. Ever.

 

Latra:  Because they’re afraid.  They know that their reign of irrational decisions, blundering, and making policies with their pants rather than what passes for brains is at it’s end as soon as a woman takes her rightful place as President.

 

Joar:  And that has to stop.  If you want to win you’ll need to find some way to muzzle yourself.  Also all the posters quoting Andrea Dwarkin need to come down.  That stuff is crazy.

 

Latra:  But she’s a revolutionary, she’s a visionary…

 

Joar:  She’s a crazy bi…

 

Kamarile:  That’s enough Joar.  Even what you suggest wouldn’t save the election for us now.  There’s only one thing we can do.

 

Nemene:  Kill thirty percent of the male student body?

 

Kamarile:  Um, no.

 

Saine;  It’s too late to brainwash them, we’d need to start that kind of thing at an earlier age.

 

Kamarile:  That wasn’t what I had in mind either.  No, I’m afraid the only chance we have to win this election is to cheat.  Some of you may not be comfortable with that.

 

Nemene:  I’m fine with it.

Sain;  It’s good by me

 

Joar:  Anything to get those guys back.  Always talking about me.  Making fun of me.  I have a marketable talent, it’s not my fault it’s in a field that’s considered less than manly.  I have a third name, I’m on my way to being filthy rich, and all they want to focus on is my slightly higher than normal voice and my propensity to spend three hours doing my hair.  Call me names?  I’ve slept with more women than most of them have even met… *eyes kamarile* I mean… figuratively speaking.

 

Kamarile:  We’ll talk about this later.

 

Latra:  You see, even the feminine one is a lame brained pig that thinks more with the hair on his chest than his own tiny brain.  If cheating is what’s necessary then let’s do it.

 

Joar:  I shave my chest by the way.  Just so you all know.

 

The group stops and stares at him for a moment.

 

Kamarile:  Anyway, I found us a secret weapon.  Lillen Moiral.  Lillen!

 

The door opens and an average looking woman enters.  The kind of girl with nothing remarkable about her.  She’s neither pretty nor ugly, neither tall or short. 

 

Kamarile:  Lillen is a master of subversion and undercover tactics.  If she can’t fix an election for us it can’t be done.

 

Lillen;  Hi.

 

Latra:  I’ve never met you before, where do you go to school?

 

Lillen;  Here actually, at Paraan Dison High.

 

Latra:  Transfer student?

 

Lillen;  No.  I’ve been here just as long as you all.

 

Latra:  What classes are you in?

 

Lillen;  In point of fact I’m in all the same classes you are.

 

Latra:  I guess that’s possible, they’re pretty big classes.

 

Lillen;  I sit next to you in every one.

 

Latra:  Well I’m pretty focused on learning most of the time.

 

Lillen;  I’m you’re lab partner in science.

 

Latra:  Huh?

 

Lillen;  And I’ve been your roommate for almost two years.

 

Latra:  You’d think I’d remember something like that.  Hey if you’re my roommate maybe you know what keeps biting me in my sleep.  It’s an insect of some kind I think.

 

Lillen;  Probably a spider.

 

Latra:  Nah, I doubt it.  I think I’d notice a spider.

 

Lillen:  You’re probably right.

 

Saine:  As fascinating as this all is perhaps you could outline your plan for us Lillen.

 

Lillen:  I’d rather not.  Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.  The one thing I do need though is a distraction on election night.  Something to occupy the students.

 

Nemene:  How about a dead body?

 

The rest of the group stops and stares for a moment  eying each other uncomfortably.

 

Lillen:  No, I was thinking of something a little different.  Joar, how would you feel about staging a show right after the polls close?  Something like that would turn out the whole campus.

 

Joar:  Maybe you haven heard but I’m not exactly the most popular with the guys at school.  I can’t imagine any of them will even show.

 

Kamarile:  That’s where you’re wrong.  The truth is most men don’t have a negative opinion of you at all, they just say they do to mask their own insecurity.

 

Joar;  I’m pretty sure that’s not true.

 

Kamarile:  Okay, so men are pretty simple.  Maybe some of them have talked themselves into beliefs that aren’t really theirs just because it’s easier for the hamster spinning it’s wheels up there than keeping up a façade.  The point I’m making however is that while most of them ridicule you in public when they’re alone in the car and you come on the radio they don’t turn the station.  And when no one is looking, most of them sing along.

 

Joar:  Even were that true that doesn’t mean they’ll come to a public show.

 

Kamarile:  Excuses are easy enough to find.  Some will come because ‘the girlfriend is making them’.  Some because ‘there’s beer’ and some because ‘there’s nothing better going on’ etc. etc. until everyone on campus is there.  Rest assured, if you sing it, they will come.

 

Joar:  So maybe I’m just not all that comfortable with the whole cheating thing.  I’ve thought it over, this isn’t an honorable way to get those guys back.  It makes me feel dirty.

 

Latra;  You’re so gay.

 

Kamarile:  No he’s not.  He’s a good man with a lot of integrity.

 

As she talks Kamarile starts to run her hand across his shoulder.

 

Joar;  Er, I thought you were mad at me.

 

Kamarile:  How could I be mad at a man with such dedication to his moral beliefs?

 

Her hand gently strokes his neck.

 

Joar:  I’m not an idiot you know.  I know what you’re doing.

 

Kamarile:  I know you’re no idiot, but I can’t imagine why you’d think I was trying anything on you.  *She leans in to whisper in his ear*  It’s just your iron resolve so turns me on.

 

Joar: I,um, erm, ah,, I…

 

Kamarile:  Don’t need to say anything.  I understand how words of praise could leave a humble man like yourself speechless.

 

She shares a covert glance with Nemene.

 

Nemene:  You know Kam, you were right about Joar.  He’s everything you said he was.  *She moves in on his other side and somehow manages to snuggle up under his arm*  Smart, funny, and let’s not forget dead sexy.

 

Joar:  Well, I um…

 

Kamarile:  Nemene, you shouldn’t talk like that, I’ll begin to think you’re trying to steal him away from me.

 

Nemene:  I wouldn’t think of it, he’s just so much man.  Perhaps you wouldn’t mind sharing. 

 

Nemene begins to stroke the other side of his neck.

 

Kamarile:  That is an interesting thought.  Of course if Latra loses this election I can’t imagine being in the mood for that kind of thing for a long. Long time.

 

Joar:  Okay I’ll do it.

 

Both women whisper ‘thank you’ in his ear simultaneously.

 

Latra:  Men are so easy.  (raising her voice)  Is that enough Lillen?

 

Lillen;  The election is as good as yours.

 

Kamarile and Nemene continue to lean on Joar. Gay? he muses to himself in italics That’s because they’ve never seen the kingpin Joar work a room.  Leave me alone with their girlfriends for five minutes and we’ll see how gay I am.  Look at these two, thinking I don’t know what they’re doing.  Played em like my harp,  women are so easy.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Two Days before Election Day.

 

Mierin paces around her room talking to herself while Lews leans back in her bed reading a book Elan had written.  ‘reason why it’s unreasonable for a reasoning person to reasonably be expected to reason  out the meaning behind any of the crazy stuff I write’

 

Mierin:  Are you just going to sit there all day?

 

Lews:  No!  I was planning on going to bathroom once I finished that last chapter but this book is so addicting.  I can’t put it down.

 

Mieirn:  I mean about the election.  Shouldn’t you be out campaigning?

 

Lews:  Duram says I’ve done all I nee to do, and with this smear campaign they’re running against me it’s best if I don’t answer any questions.  He said to just lay low, we have a big lead.  Besides, I’m Lews Therin, how could they not vote for me?

 

Mierin;  Well you can’t just sit here and hope for it to turn out right.  This election is the most important moment of my…I mean your… I mean our lives.

 

Lews:  What do you suggest?

 

Mierin:  I don’t know.  We need to solidify our support.  What if we had sex for votes?

 

Lews;  Like in public?  Don’t get me wrong I’m down but I just don’t see how that would…

 

Mierin:  No no no, I’d have sex with the male students and you can take care of the females. *she nods*

 

Lews:  Um, what about our relationship?

 

Mierin:  Lews this election is bigger than the two of us.

 

Lews;  It’s just a high school election.

 

Mierin:  No, this is our first step towards ruling the world.

 

Lews;  Mierin.

 

Mierin:  What?

 

Lews;  I don’t say this often sweetie but sit down.

 

Mierin;  But…

 

Lews;  But nothing woman.  Now Sit Down and Shut Up!

 

Mierin:  Fine, but when we’re thirty and living in a shanty outside Comelle because losing this election sent you on a downward spiral that involved drinking, gambling, and getting kicked out of school and ended with you cleaning toilets for a living don’t come to me for anything but an ‘I told you so’. Hmph!

 

Lews:  I’ll try not to dear.

 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

 

Kamarile sits watching the picture box.  It appears Tel Janin has just led the team to the state championship.  A knock on her door interrupts her boredom, as she opens it Latra wastes no time in entering. 

 

Latra:  Kam, we need to do something.

 

Kamarile:  What would you suggest?

 

Latra:  I don’t know. Something!  Our campaign is failing miserably.  Everything I say just makes the people love him even more.

 

Kamarile:  We discussed this.  We can’t win this election, we just need to wait for Lillen to do her thing.

 

Latra:  I don’t like it, what if she can’t deliver?  I mean what do we really know about her anyway?

 

Kamarile: She’s your roommate

 

Latra:  So she claims, and I did notice she was sleeping there this afternoon, but that doesn’t necessarily prove anything.  She could be a plant working for Lews.

 

Kamarile;  To what end?  He’s already got the election wrapped up, why would he need to cheat us?

 

Latra:  Because that’s what men do. Cheat.  We should do something though.  What if we started more rumors about Lews?

 

Kamarile:  Such as?

 

Latra:  That he’s cheating on Mierin.  That would devastate him.

 

Kamarile:  Infidelity doesn’t matter one bit to any man, any where, on the face of this earth.  As for women our polling shows an intense dislike for Mierin.  If the female student body found out Lews was cheating on her they’d probably feel so bad for him they’d line up to vote for him.  The added possibility that Mierin would kill him wouldn’t be worth the risk.  Odds are with the tight leash she keeps on him she’d know it was false and then start looking for the originators of that rumor.  Something neither of us would like.

 

Latra:  I just hate this.  If Lews wins I can’t even imagine staying at this school.  Maybe I’ll transfer out to a Canadian University.

 

____________________________________________________________________

 

The Day before the elections.

 

Barid:  I hate him as much you all do but I have to lend him my support.

 

Saine;  Who said I hated him?

 

Barid:  What?!

 

Saine:  What I meant to say is why must you support him?  He constantly upstages you, on purpose, and treats you like crap.

 

Barid:  It’s an invisible line, no man can cross it without being black balled.  Besides, even Lews is better than a woman running things.

 

Saine raises an eyebrow at him, as women are wont to do in stories such as these to express dissaproval with some comment a man makes.  Nemene sends him a dark look that shivers his spine.

 

Barid:  I mean Latra.  She’d be worse for me, for all men.

 

Nemene:  She’s not ideal, but I suppose being Lews Therin’s lapdog is much more appealing.

 

Barid:  You might want to moderate your tone Nemene, being Saine’s roommate doesn’t entitle you to talk to me in that manner.

 

nemene: ooooooh

 

Saine:  Quiet, both of you.  I’m sorry Barid, you’ll do whatever you think is right of course.  By the way you’re taking me to the AsmO-town concert tomorrow night.

 

Barid:  Well that’s not really my first choice, or even my fiftieth, but if it will help keep the peace I’ll be happy to take you.

 

Nemene:  Didn’t I see his CD in your jo-car?

 

Barid:  I, um, found it on the ground somewhere.  Forgot to throw it away.

 

Nemene:  I guess it’d be pretty easy to miss it when it’s in the CD player eh?

 

Barid:  I’m sorry am I on trial here?  I put it in for Saine, that’s all.  Right honey?

 

Saine:  Of course Barid, whatever you say.

 

__________________________________________________________________

 

 

Ared Mosinel stands in an office with a young real-estate agent.

 

Ared:  So when I become Vice I’ll need an off campus office.

 

Agent;  This is a high school election right?

 

Ared:  Your point?

 

Agent:  Its just unusual for a High School student body Vice President to actually rent an office.  I didn’t realize deciding whether to serve  hamburgers on second days or fourth days required that kind of spread.

 

Ared:  Yes because I only go to the most prestigious school in the world I don’t pick up on sarcasm.  You work on commission right?

 

Agent:  I’m sorry, it’s just unusual.

 

Ared:  So is the big A spending a night alone but alas it does happen.

 

Agent:  Right.  So what are you looking for in an office?

 

Ared;  Well,  I’ll need a large waiting room.  Scratch that, three smaller waiting rooms completely unconnected to each other.  That way my seven o’clock doesn’t run into my eight forty-five.  Also I’ll need a desk with a whole bunch of leg room, say enough to fit a one hundred forty pound woman comfortably.  Or uncomfortably, I don’t really care.  *he thinks*  Yeah, one forty should definitely be enough room.  F**k em and duck em A-Mos don’t do no cattle calls chief.  You know what I’m saying?  Could I get a hot tub?

 

agent:  Ah… we’ll see.

 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

 

Election Day

 

Tel Janin stands in the election booth talking to himself as he votes.

 

Tel Janin:  ‘Resolved:  Cheerleader skirts will be reduced a full two inches’.  Well, Tel Janin is for that.  Ared always has the best ideas.  Hmmmm. Yes, no, yes, yes, no… President?  Lews.  There, Tel Janin is done, now I wonder where Tel Janin can get a burrito.

 

________________________________________________________________

 

election night:

 

The entire student body is gathered around the stage, waiting with baited breath for the main act.  A woman comes out of the stage and grabs the microphone.

 

random chick:  And now, the one you all came to see.  The Showstoppa.  The one, the only Joar Addam Nessosin!

 

Joar walks out to applause and shrieks from the ladies along with a few jeers from the men in the audience.

 

Joar:  Thanks for coming out.

 

random male voice in the crown:  Why don’t you come out!?

 

Joar:  And thanks for rockin’ the vote.  It’s important for each and every one of us to take this process seriously.  This is the future we’re talking about…

 

A different male voice:  Just shut up and sing Nancy Sinatra!

 

Joar:  Alright I guess it’s whatever then.  Ladies and gentleman, I give you AsmO-town!

 

oooooh

 

I know when he’s been on your mind

That distant look is in your eyes

I thought with time you’d realize

It’s over, over

 

It’s not the way I choose to live

And something some where’s got to give

As sharing this relationship

gets older, older

 

You know I’d fight for you but how can I fight someone who isn’t even there?

I’ve had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don’t care if that’s not fair…

 

Because I want it all….

 

Out in the audience Ishar Morrad leans in close to his date.

 

Ishar;  Are you having a good time?

 

Becki;  I’m having a great time, thanks for bringing me.

 

Ishar: How about after the show you come back to my room?

 

Becki:  Why?

 

Ishar:  I was hoping you’d let me hit it.  But even if nothing happens I’d still like to spend some time with you.  You’re amazing.

 

Becki:  aw, you’re sweet.  And I’d love to, how could I refuse such a confident, caring man?

 

Ishar:  Great!  I can tell you this joke I just made up today.  It’s about a sunflower and a rose.

 

Becki:  Or we could skip that and just have sex.

 

Ishar:  Works for me!

 

In the row ahead of them Eval wipes a tear from his eye. The light bless that boy.  Then he reaches out and smacks the girl next to him on the ass.

 

Girl:  What the flaming…?

 

Eval:  Hi, I’m Eval Ramman, want to make out?

 

Joar:

 

Because I want it all,

Or nothing at all

There’s nowhere left to fall

When you reach the bottom It’s now or never

 

Is it all?

Or are we just friends?

Is this how it ends?

With a simple telephone call

You leave me here,

With nothing at all

 

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While the show goes on Lillen sneaks into the vote counting room.  Sure enough the workers have all gone to watch the show.  She prepares her fake ballets and gets ready to switch them out.

 

Elan:  Hello there.

 

Lillen jumps in the air and spins around all in one motion.  Grasping the phony votes to her chest she eyes the speaker.  He had an unstable look about him.

 

Elan:  What are you doing?

 

Lillen;  Um, well, you see.  What had happened was…

 

Elan:  You can save it, I already know.  You think elections are so easily fixed?

 

Lillen:  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

 

Elan;  Yes you do, but no matter.  And maybe some elections are so easily taken care of, but not this one.  This election needs to go to Lews.  It’s just one more domino falling in the endless cycle of our universe.

 

Lillen:  You’re that crazy guy who writes those books aren’t you?

 

Elan;  Crazy?!  Let everyone think so.  Victors write the history books, and when all is said and done Elan Morin will be remembered as the most significant man throughout all of time.

 

Lillen:  Sure you will, but what does that have to do with this election?

 

Elan;  Every great man needs a foil, a good to combat the evil.  A light to contrast the dark.  Lews Therin is my opposite.  Without him I do not exist, just as he is nothing without me.  Without us there is no Wheel of Time, and without a Wheel?  Well there’s nothing.  Lews must win this election to be worthy.  If he fails now he’ll spend this age cleaning toilets and living in a shanty outside of Comelle.  I wish to break the wheel, not end it entirely.

 

Elan eyes catch fire.  Then he laughs, flames coming from his mouth as well.

 

Elan;  Go Lillen Moiral, hide in the shadows.  I’ll see you again when you’re ready.

 

Without and fight Lillen leaves the room.  Elan sits down on the desk.

 

Elan;  I hope those vote counters get back soon, I’m hungry.  Hmmmm, maybe Lews still has that snicker bar hidden under his mattress.

 

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The Day after the Election

 

Ared;  I, Ared Mosinel, give you the new student body President effective next school year.  I give you…

 

LEWS THERIN!!!

 

Lews takes the stage as Elan stands at the foot of the dias clapping and smiling.

 

Elan;  So it begins.  Let the Lord of Chaos Rule

 

the END