[COL] AoL High Volume Four

[Justen Diablos]

Dramatis Personae

 

Lews Therin ~ The Dragon

Elan Morin ~ Ishamael

Ishar Morrad ~ Aginor

Tel Janin ~ Sammael

Ared Mosinel ~ Rahvin

Mierin Eronaile ~ Lanfear

Saine Terasind ~ Mesaana

Barid Bel ~ Demandred

Joar Addam Nessosin ~ Asmodeon

Kamarile Moradim ~ Graendal

Eval Ramman ~ Balthamel

Duram Laddel ~ Be'lal

Lillen Moiral ~ Moghedian

Nemene Damender ~ Semirhage

 

Also Starring

 

Latra Posae

Ilyena Moerelle

 

Friends

 

Hyper Kid: Yellow slug bugs no slugs back.

 

Caught unaware Eval was surprised by the outburst from the boy next to him.  He was even more shocked by the punch on the arm that accompanied it.  Turning in his seat to face the assailant Eval Ramman stared coldly.

 

Hyper Kid:  It's a game, you can't hit me back.  Those are the rules.  Whenever you see a yellow car like that you can hit the person next to you and he can't hit you back if you call no slugs back.

 

The boy nods as if he's passing along some tidbit of great wisdom.

 

Eval:  Are you retarded?

 

Hyper Kid:  What do you mean?

 

Instead of answering Eval just shook his head.  It had been a horrible bus ride so far, and as near as he could make out it was only halfway done.  He tried to think about what good could come from this new school and his situation.

 

He had just learned that he could channel the one power, showing the skill earlier than most.  As was the case with all such kids he was being transfered to Paraan Dison High to continue his schooling.  The Government wanted all power talented students to study at the best of schools.  The thing they didn't want, however, was the other students to know who had the gift and who didn't.  To that end they also transfered a mix of non-gifted students to balence the gifted.  Such was detirmined by lottery of course, as many a parent wanted nothing more for their child than the opportunity to learn at the finest institution available.  Eval was certain the boy next to him was a lottery qualifier. If he could channel they would have just smothered him in his sleep to save the world from such a fate.  Eval thought in italics to distinguish for the reader the difference between character thought and story narration.

 

Hyper Kid  Maybe we'll be roomies huh? How cool would that be?

 

I'd smother you in your sleep aloud though Eval started to practice some of his verbal poetry to keep his temper in check.

 

Eval:

 

If you give me ten maidens I'll run up in all ten

I got my homey Lerris P sippin' juice and gin

But don't slip, I'm on the set trip to get paper

Styles vary, packin' flavor like life savers

Ain't that something, talk back and I'm dumpin

I'll have your whole flamin' block jumpin

Don't sweat, protect the technique I'm unique like China

You'll never find a bomba rhyma than the figure behind ya

So peek a boo, clear the way I'm coming through

1-2-3 you can't see me

I'm a G like that strapped with hit hard tactics

The playground menace using girls like tennis rackets

It's, on again, it's on and poppin,

All i see is green so there ain't no stoppin'

I want to see some nightgowns droppin'

 

Hyper Kid:  Wow, that's dope man!

 

Eval hated the boy.

 

Hyper Kid:  Yellow slug bugs no slugs bac...

 

Before the kid could pull his hand back after again punching him Eval grabbed it and twisted toward the boy, pulling a knife from his sleeve as he did so and stabbing the annoying little pecker in the chest with it.

 

Eval:  I didn't slug you...

 

...

 

Eval:  chump.

 

The Boy instantly gave forth a scream and the driver immediately pulled over to the side of the road.  Before the bus had even come to a complete stop the driver was rushing back to aid the wounded kid.  All those who dealt with the students of Paraan Dison High had some affinity for healing with the power.  Eval had known this, he hadn't meant to kill, only to send a message.  Still he knew what was coming next.

 

Driver:  Mr. Ramman, this is not the way to get started at a brand new school.  You'll ride up front with me until we get there, and then you'll get to have a nice talk with the Dean of Students.  He'll set you straight on how things are done around here.

 

Eval:  I'd roll my eyes at that last comment but you're not mentally agile enough to recognize the subtlty of such a gesture.  So instead, I'll just let you know verbally that my thought process right this instant involves me mocking your general tone through the movement of my eyes.

 

Driver:  What?

 

Eval:  Exactly.

 

The Dean paced around his desk, eying Eval over the rims of his glasses.  Pure intimidation tactic, Eval had seen it before.  Those with small amounts of authority always tried to loom trying to make their target feel uncomfortable.  Eval simply waited.

 

Dean:  Eval, Eval, Eval

 

Eval:  Sir, if I may what exactly is the repetition of my name designed to accomplish?

 

Dean:  Is that your attempt at being a smart aleck?  I'll have you know that smart aleckry is not encouraged at Paraan Dison High.

 

Eval:  Noted.  What's the school's stance on sleeping with my instructors?

 

Dean:  Heh, you know I was just like you when I was growing up.  Cocksure, always fast with a joke, never taking anything seriously.  It really hurt me later in life you know.

 

Eval:  Whatever man, you became the principal for light's sake.

 

Dean:  Do you want to be a High School Principal when you grow up Eval?

 

Eval:  Touche.

 

Dean:  Look son, you've been given a gift.  You can channel the Power.  Do you know how rare that is?

 

Eval:  Actually studies show...

 

Dean:  Rhetorical question son, and need I remind you again about smark aleckry?  I have a brass nameplate you know, sadly innefective at slitting my own wrists.

 

Eval:  That's depressing sir.

 

Dean:  Indeed it is.  Listen, you've been warned before about violence.  Sooner or later you'll be bound by the power against doing any violence what-so-ever.  Now you're a smart kid, so I assume you realize because of your potential with the source this will happen later than it would were you a simple farmer.  You do have Leeway, but not an indefinate amount.  I'm told early tests show you could be more powerful than any Aes Sedai in your generation.  That will not come to pass however if you're constrained from violence, blocked off from the One Power and sent to dig ditches or light forbid be the night dishwasher at Denny's.  You have a truly great gift, but you're not the only one, have a care with your life Eval.

 

Sensing the tone wasn't right for a quip Eval simply nodded.

 

Dean:  Good, Here's your room assignment.  You'll be rooming with Ishar Morrad, it should be good for you both.  And Eval, let's try not to stab anyone for the remainder of your stay here at this school please.  That will be all.

 

Eval thought a bit about what the Dean had said as he started towards his room.  He really had been trying to control his temper, he'd even taken up verbal poetry as an outlet for his aggression.  And though he'd told no one taken a couple classes on anger control.  It was just so difficult, especially in the face of the kind of gross stupidity he saw every day.  I hate that flamin' kid.  He tried to calm himself again.

 

Eval:

 

This is how we even the bets,

I'll kill everything you love dog, right now, even the pets...

 

He only felt a little better by the time he'd reached his designated room.  Finding the door unlocked Eval entered his new home.  Two steps in he stopped in amazement.  There were plants everywhere!  Some of them even growing out of the ceiling. The Ceiling!  It looked like a forest.  He couldn't see beds, tables, or floors for that matter.  Out of this stepped an unassuming young man who blinked twice and tilted his head.

 

Ishar:  You must be my new roomate.  Hi! I'm Ishar Morrad.

 

Eval:  What in the name of the Light is this?

 

Ishar:  It's our room, duh...  Oh you mean the plants?  They're all expiraments really, my special projects.

 

Eval:  For School?

 

Ishar:  Some, and some are just for my own purposes.  I grew a plant that spoke the old tongue recently, but Lews stole it.  Argh, Lews!  He thinks I don't notice how he talks down to me, how he treats me.  I do notice though, and someday I'll do something to get him back.

 

Eval:  Sleep with his girlfriend maybe?

 

Ishar:  I was thinking more along the lines of infiltrating his one power training facility and impersonating one of his lackeys so that one day when he's at his weakest I can attempt to cut him down with lances of fire.  But you're idea's good too.  Of course, it's all just conjecture at this point, as i don't even know if I can channel the one power, since I haven't taken the tests yet.  Just all a rough outline really.  (Ishar blinks)  Who are you again?

 

Eval:  Um, I'm Eval Ramman, you're new roomate.  You're not really all there are you?

 

Ishar:  Silly question.  Where else would part of me be?  Hey you want to know the names of all my plants?

 

Eval:  Um, no.  So, Ishar, maybe we should go out tonight.  Look for some trouble, maybe pick up some girls.

 

Ishar:  Where will we take them?

 

Eval:  Seriously?  Wow.  Well, I was thinking we could bring them back to the room... but that might not be the best idea.  A cheap motel might work.

 

Ishar:  Work for what?

 

Eval:  I think your problem may be that you haven't gotten any trim in a while.  That kind of thing can make a man crazy.  Light I haven't had any in four days and I stabbed a kid.  You know what I'm saying?

 

Ishar:  Not really, no.

 

Eval:  When was the last time you got laid?  You know, had sex?

 

Ishar:  Why... never.

 

Eval:  Blood and ashes man you're serious?  No wonder you're... hey you don't have any knives do you?

 

Ishar:  I have pruning shears, they're just as sharp as a knife.

 

Eval:  Yeah I think we'll leave those at home.

 

Ishar:  Where are we going?

 

Eval:  You got a car?

 

Ishar:  My parents just bought me the newest edition Jo-car McClaren

 

Eval:  (big grin)  Ishar my friend, we're going out.  And I'm driving.

 

Ishar:  Should I change?

 

Eval:  You should, but I have the feeling your entire wardrobe is pretty much the same so there's really no point.

 

Ishar:  Righto!  We're gonna rock this town, rock it inside out.

 

Eval:  You're going to be a lot of work kid, but you may just be worth it.  I see potential in you, now lead me to your car.

 

As the two left Eval studied his new companion.  Not a lot there to like frankly, yet he did like him.  He could work out the reason why later though, he had work to do.

 

Eval:  Ishar.  I'm going to give you a crash course in scoring poon.

 

Ishar:  Is that like laser tag?

 

Eval:  Yes, but I couldn't properly follow that analogy all the way to it's rightful conclusion and have you tag along for the ride.  Know what I'm saying?

 

Ishar:  Not really, no.

 

Eval:  Here's the deal.  I'm gonna teach you how to get women to sleep with you.

 

Ishar:  Wow! Really?  that would be awesome!

 

Eval:  It is awesome.  Now, listen up because I don't like repeating myself.

 

Ishar:  What?

 

Eval:  I said I don't like... ahh.  You're good.  That might help.  Here we go.  There are three main things women look for in a man.  These are by no means all that women look for but they're the foundation.  You ready?  It's Looks, Sense of Humor, and Confidence.  Those three things.  Looks are by far the most important.  Women will tell you otherwise, that's sheep swallop.  A great looking guy doesn't need to be funny, smart, confident, or be able to read at a third grade level to get women.  They'll just line up like he's the newest installment of star wars.  What women really mean when they say that a sense of humor is the most important is that if you're passable looking they may pick you over someone better looking provided you can make them laugh.  The thing is though I don't care how confident you are, or how funny you may be if you weigh four hundred pounds and have one tooth women will not sleep with you.  Like I said looks take primacy, it's the first thing they notice.  Now, you're not particularly good looking, it's okay, I'm not either.  I still manage to do pretty well with the ladies, you can too, we just need to work on the other two aspects.

 

Intermission/ Know Your Forsaken Balthamel

 

Eval Rammen was a historian studying lost cultures.  With a temper of the sort men wrote stories about Eval was always on the verge of being bound by the power against violence.  Eval spent a lot of time in taverns and the haunts of low life's, despite being a ranking member on staff at the university in M'Jinn.  Eval was also a big ladies man, he loved them and the loved him right back

 

End Intermission

 

Shortly the two arrived at the car.  Eval grabbed the keys and jumped behind the wheel.  Ishar got in the passenger side and buckled up, with that the two were moving and on their way.

 

Eval:  Wearing a seatbelt is like cockblocking yourself.

 

Ishar:  What does that mean?

 

Eval:  It means don't wear them.  Alright, continuing.  Sense of humor.  This is how you get girls out of your league to like you.  You make them laugh and shifts will be dropping left and right.  You know what I'm saying?

 

Ishar:  Not really, no.

 

Eval:  I'm talking about jokes, about charm.  Let's hear your best joke.

 

Ishar:  My best one?

 

Eval:  Yeah.  One that really cracks people up.  It doesn't even have to be something you can use to flirt with, it just has to be a joke.  We'll work on situational appropriatness later.

 

Ishar:  Okay.  Well, there's this tomato plant right?  And he's sitting on a windowsill.  He's been sitting there for a long time, he always gets a good amount of sun.  He's watered every day, but he's still no more than just a sprout.  One day, after some time, a big plant is set beside the window.  It reaches from the floor all the way up so that it eclipses the tomato plant in the windowsill.  The tomato plant is impressed and asks "How did you get to be so big?"  And the other plant answers "I'm a bloody fir tree you flaming imbecile!"

 

...

 

Eval: Okay.  And?

 

Ishar:  That's it! you get it?  It's so big because it's a fir tree, they're supposed to be big.  Plus it ends with cursing.  Swearing is funny.

 

Eval:  Yeah, to a six year old.  It's obvious we have a lot of work to do, let's grab something to eat.

 

Eval pulls the car into a drivethrough and the two students order.  They then pull up to the next window where Eval pays a pimply faced youngster and waits.

 

Cashier:  Um, what do you want?

 

Eval:  My Flaming food you simple bastard!

 

Cashier:  Um, they give you that at the next window.  Duh.

 

Eval leaps through the window, Ishar grabbing him is the only thing that keeps him in the car.

 

Eval:  I'll slap the sh...

 

Ishar:  Easy buddy.  We gotta go pick up some trim remember?

 

For some reason Ishar's words are like a splash of cold water dashed on Eval's rage.  Against all odds he finds himself chuckling.

 

Eval:  Alright man, you're right.  Let's go.

 

Eval pulls up to the next window where a lovely young woman hands him their food.

 

Eval:  Wow, you're gorgeous.  Would you sleep with my friend here?

 

Instantly taken aback the young girl is first surprised and embarrased but then her eyes narrow as she takes in Ishar.

 

young girl:  No.

 

Eval:  How bout for money?

 

young girl:  ... Ah, nope, still no.

 

Eval:  Okay, how about with me?

 

young girl:  For money?

 

Eval:  No no, just because.  Like maybe after a date or something.

 

young girl:  Well, I guess, maybe.

 

Eval:  Good to know.  Alright well thank you.  If my order's wrong I'm coming back to kill you.

 

Ignoring the surprised look on the girl's face Eval drives off.

 

Eval:  You see that?  What did you just learn?

 

Ishar:  That you're a psychopath?

 

Eval:  No.  You just learned about confidence.  You'll notice when I asked if she'd sleep with you she took measure of you.  Your attitude, your posture, everything about you spoke without you saying a word.  And she said no, even for money, no.

 

Ishar:  Okay, yeah I get it...jeez.

 

Eval:  The point is when I asked her if she'd sleep with me I got a maybe.  I'm really no better looking than you,  I didn't joke with her, she doesn't know me.  The difference between the two of us is that I was talking to her.  I was foreward and direct.  My tone of voice told her everything.  I tried to pick her up on confidence alone.

 

Ishar:  It didn't work though.

 

Eval:  It did work.  You got a no, I got a maybe.  That's the role confidence plays.  It turns no's into maybe's, maybe's into yes's, and yes's into... well, you get the whole hand instead of just a finger.  Know what I'm saying?

 

Ishar:  Not really, no.

 

Eval sighs.

 

Ishar:  The hand finger thing I mean.  The rest I got.

 

Eval:  Great!  And don't worry, you'll understand my analogies soon enough.  You just need some field experience.

 

Ishar:  Yes I do.

 

The two drove off, talking and eating as they drove.  Not literally talking and eating at the same time, as that would be gross.  Especially considering it was fast food.  Rather they would eat (ie. chewing and swallowing) and then talk, repeating the process.  Also technically 'they' didn't drive, instead Eval did.  He did do this while talking and eating.  Not all three at the same time though, as was previously explained.  They also spent a lot of time checking out the women who drove by.  They did this while...

 

Well you get the idea.  At a stoplight the two noticed a pair of particularly attractive girls in the white car next to them.

 

Eval:  Alright.  Ishar, you're up.  Try to get their phone numbers.

 

Ishar:  How?

 

Eval:  You remember the three things I told you women look for right?

 

Ishar:  Oh yeah.  (Raising his voice)  Hi there ladies.

 

girl driving:  Hey.  What's up?

 

Ishar:  Nothing, just cruisin'

 

girl driving:  That's cool.

 

Ishar:  So what's your name?

 

Becki:  I'm Beckindrelina, call me Becki though.  This is my friend Pam, you can call her Pam.

 

As he's talking Ishar notices that Eval keeps flashing three fingers at him.  He nods and goes on.

 

Ishar:  So Becki,  there's this tomato plant right?  OW! (turning to Eval and lowering his voice)  Why'd you hit me?

 

Eval:  No jokes, confidence, straight forward. ask for her number.

 

Ishar:  Alright.  (he raises his voice again)  So Becki, how about you give me your number?

 

Becki:  Alright.

 

Ishar: REALLY!? OW!! (turning to Eval again)  Why do you keep hitting me?

 

Eval:  Act cool. Cool!

 

Ishar  Quit hitting me then. (again raising his voice to be heard by Becki)  So what is it?

 

Becki:  You two are silly.  Still, if you want my number handsome (she turns to look at the stoplight)  You're gonna have to catch me.

 

The light turns green adn the girls take off.  Eval's quick to drop the hammer and follow after them.

 

Ishar:  So will I get laid then?

 

Eval:  You just might now quit distracting me.

 

Ishar nods and leans back into his seat.  At the speed they're going he's tempted to put his seatbelt on but he restrains himself.  He starts to notice something in his rear veiw mirror, he turns to look over his shoulder behind them.

 

Ishar:  Hey Eval, is that a constable?

 

Eval:  Yup.

 

Ishar:  Wow.  My parents told me about them but you never really see them around very much.  Have you ever seen one?

 

Eval:  Once or twice.

 

Ishar:  Then what does it mean when they turn on those flashing lights?

 

Eval:  It means they want to race.

 

Ishar:  Cool!

 

Eval:  It is cool.

 

With a daredevil grin Eval slams down on the gas pedal.  He absently notices the girls take off in a different direction but other than marking their position he ignores them.  Weaving in and out of traffic Eval attempts to get away from the constable.  A difficult task but one he'd done before.

 

Ishar:  What happens if we lose?

 

Eval:  I've never lost before, now shut up so I don't this time.

 

Taking a sharp left Eval ducks the car into an alley.  The constable flies by in the opposite direction and Eval breathes a sigh of relief.

 

Ishar:  We won then?

 

Eval:  We won. 

 

Ishar:  So, um, what about the girls?

 

Eval:  I like where your heads at.

 

Ishar:  Where else would my head be?

 

Eval:  Well if everything goes right it may be buried in pleasure valley by midnight tonight.  Know what I'm saying?

 

Ishar:  Not really, no.

 

Backtracking Eval drives to where he last saw the girls.  Sure enough they sit parked and outside of their car waiting on them.  As Eval and Ishar get out of the car the passenger speaks for the first time.

 

Pam:  So you got away then?

 

Eval:  This is what I do sweetie.

 

Pam:  I hope it's not all you do.

 

Eval:  You should hang out with us tonight and find out. 

 

Pam:  I'd love to.  One problem though, we go to the girls private school up the road there.  We have a curfew.

 

Eval:  Curfew?  Seriously?

 

Pam:  We can't all be outlaws like yourself.

 

Eval:  So how do I get a hold of you?

 

Pam:  I'll be around.

 

Becki:  Plus, (she turns to Ishar)  I still owe you my number.

 

Ishar:  Um

 

Becki:  And you still need to tell me about that tomato plant.

 

Ishar:  It is a good story.

 

Becki leans forward and hands over a piece of paper with her number on it.  As Ishar leans forward to grab it she plants a quick kiss on his lips.

 

Ishar:  That was awesome!

 

Becki:  (laughing)  I'm glad you think so.  Bye guys.

 

Watching the girls leave Eval puts an arm around his new friend.  Maybe his only friend.

 

Eval:  Nice.  So anyway I was thinking.  With you being a botanist and all maybe you could grow us a plant that we could use to...well... you know what I'm saying?

 

Ishar:  You want me to biologically engineer a plant that when ingested will result in an increase in pleasure and happiness in the user?

 

Stunned Eval is speachless for a moment.

 

Eval:  Well, yeah.  You're a good and decent man my friend.

 

Ishar:  And maybe you can help change that about me.

 

Eval:  Yes I can.

 

this story is at an end, but it just another turning in an endless wheel of time, and there are more to come.

 

Written by,

Justen Diablos