Bonedeep

[Wayfarer]

It had been a many years since Lillian had been summoned to the bowels of the Tower for a purpose much like the one that had brought her now.  A different ter’angreal, different sisters, a different Lillian.  The Lillian who had stood before the three Arches and conquered them had been motivated to prove to her dearest friend that it was possible, that she could do it to.  A naïve Lillian who had thought she had learned so much about the world and been so wise that she had possessed a youthful certainty.  One that had killed her dearest friend when she failed the Arches, never emerging from them again.

 

The Lillian who stood in this different chamber, before a different ter’angreal, and was a different woman.  Wiser, because she knew that she did not know.  Sadder, because she had lost those dearest to her as well as her innocence.  Stronger, because she had survived terrible trials and further more she had remembered who she was and why she was.  Ready, because after all her years as an Accepted, she was prepared to pass on her rainbow hems and earn the shawl that awaited her.

 

It was Saya Sedai that addressed her.  "You come in ignorance Lillian Tremina, how would you depart?"

 

Still, calm and collected, Lillian responded in a tone that bespoke confidence. "In Knowledge of Myself."

 

Taking a step closer, Saya Sedai asked.  "For what reason have you been summoned here?"

 

No doubt, there could be none, only an acceptance of the inevitability of what was to come and see it through.  "To be tried"

 

Saya Sedai’s voice seemed even harsher as she continued.  "For what reason should you be tried?"

 

No backing out now, no need to either, if she was not ready now then she would never be.  "So that I may learn whether I am worthy."

 

There was a distinctive clack as Saya Sedai stepped forward.  "For what would you be found worthy?"

 

This was the easiest question for Lillian to answer of all, it was why she was here.  "To wear the shawl."

 

Following the instruction to disrobe, Lillian neatly folded her clothing and laid it aside before approaching the oval ter’angreal.  Stepping within its boundaries, Lillian stood in the centre and waited even as she saw the glow from her fellow sisters.  She did not embrace saidar though there was a temptation.  While her goal was to weave her hundred weaves, that was not the aim of the exercise.  An Aes Sedai was more than power, she was poise, she was a survivour and that was Lillian even as reality shifted around her.

 

An infinite plain of grass surrounded Lillian, horsemen with swords and lances raised high bearing down upon her.  She accepted her fate.  Embracing saidar in all its glory, her first weave was formed in but a moment and the second quickly followed.  Soil and grass churned under hooves as Lillian continued her work, fully aware of the doom that was impending and accepting it.  She bounced off the leading stallion’s barding as she wove her fifth weave, hooves falling upon her with fatal finality even as it blurred and became murky…

 

An eyeless gaze fixed itself upon Lillian even as the menacingly dry rasp told her that in the darkness, she had company.  She accepted her fate.  Lillian wove on regardless, even as fingernails tore across her abdomen.  Pain was a distraction that would not lead her astray as she continued to weave, her purpose and her survival entirely dependent upon her ability to focus.  Darkness became mist…

 

Wind tore past her as Lillian plummeted like a falling star towards terra firma, drawn by inexorable forces that she could not resist.  She accepted her fate.  Spreading her arms like the wings of an eagle, the weaves continued to flow from her, her focus remaining single minded and without fear, for one could only fear what one resisted.  She did not turn to avoid what came, the earth embraced her even as the world shifted and realigned itself…

 

Deep in the Haddon Mirk, Lillian found herself entwined by a great serpent that constricted as it threatened to choke the life out of her.  She accepted her fate.  Toppling to one side, she rolled off the dry land and into the myrky depths.  Her only purpose was to weave, and she continued onward even as her last reserve air was squeezed from her and replaced with vile swamp water, even as her every rib snapped and her vision went dark…

 

A Dreadlady stood over Lillian, her rictus grin a morbid forerunner to the pain that came as she touched Lillian’s hand.  A decomposing rot that blackened and disintegrated her essence robbed her of her fingers and ate away at her hand.  She accepted her fate.  Sinking to her knees, Lillian wove as her arm degenerated and sections of skin and muscle flaked off to sizzle on the ground below while bone gleamed in the sun.  Sitting back on her feet, her ribs were exposed to reveal a struggling pair of lungs that were likewise infected even as strips of flesh fell from her face and the ashen ground became dark red…

 

Burning, Lillian collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration as the unforgiving sun beat down upon her.  She accepted her fate.  The strain wore at her, attempted to disrupt her ability to focus even as she felt her body’s water seep out of her skin and evaporate in the sun.  Her mortal frame shrinking inwards on itself, she became rigid and immobile as her veins hardened like iron and her eyes began to smoke.  Everything went black as her weaves flowed on regardless, then everything went white…

 

She stood within an oval ter’angreal, surrounded by sisters who had tested her resolve and willingness to survive.  She accepted her fate.  Stepping clear of the ter’angreal, she was only vaguely aware of words that were spoken as her limbs shook and her heart pounded.  She would become an Aes Sedai…

 

* * *

 

Kneeling on the floor in her quarters, Lillian’s hands were folded in her lap as she meditated on what had occurred and what it meant.  Her mind flickered through different aspects of the testing that had occurred again and yet again.  Was that what would await her as an Aes Sedai?  Impossible fate that could not be averted, could not be resisted, could not be defeated?

 

During her entire test, Lillian had embraced the very thing that made the use of the one power possible.  She had surrendered, given herself wholly to the fates that had been presented to her and in doing so lost her fear.  Fear came from the unknown, the inability to accept what was.  By accepting it, she had absorbed her fear and broken its hold upon her, allowing herself to focus.

 

But, it was a test.  Lillian knew that what had held true in that ter’angreal would not always hold true.  As an Aes Sedai, she would be putting herself in harm’s way simply by existing, indeed she had the moment she had grasped the power and exposed herself to the seductive call of the one power that offered a sweeter bliss that nothing else could match.  It was a lonely acknowledgement, one that also came with the recognition that the greatest bliss was also the greatest danger, the only defence against which was a discipline that would befit any great warrior.

 

Yet Lillian was not a great warrior.  She was a single soldier, one that when she donned the shawl, would be caught in the endless tides of conflict.  But what was her conflict?  What was her battlefield?  Her cause would determine her battles, she would heal what was hurt and she would bring peace where she could.  Knowledge and the ability to question were key to success and more importantly, survival.

 

Like the Tower, she was possessed of different abilities, all of which she would have to use in order to be Aes Sedai.  Not just a sister of this Ajah, or that Ajah, an Aes Sedai and her choice would attempt to force her to favour one facet of her being in favour of others.  But, that was not the path she would walk, to be Aes Sedai she would walk her own path in order to serve all as best she could.

 

She was Aes Sedai, all that remained was to take on her shawl and her mantle.  Her responsibilities awaited her and there was much to be done.

 

* * *

 

Standing within the room she had been tested in the day before, led by those who would embrace her as sister, surrounded by more who had come to witness her decision and confronted by Mother and Keeper, Lillian waited in silence to be addressed.  She had trained for this nearly all her life, giving up her home and her life for a cause and people who were not her own, but had become her own even as she had lost what she had left behind.  There were no doubts, many regrets and sorrows perhaps, but only certainty that she was here because she had chosen to be and because she was meant to be.

 

It was the Amyrlin Karana Maijan who dispelled the silence.  “Who comes here?”

 

Confidence.  “Lillian Tremina.”

 

Question.  “For what reason do you come?”

 

Answer. ”To swear the three oaths and thereby claim the shawl of an Aes Sedai.”

 

Challenge.  “By what right do you claim this burden?”

 

Response.  “By right of having made the passage, submitting myself to the will of the White Tower.”

 

Offer.  “Then enter, if you dare, and bind yourself to the White Tower.”

 

Acceptance.  Walking towards the oval ter’angreal, Lillian took her place before Mother as she knelt.  Watching as Mother removed the Oath Rod from the pillow that the Keeper Arette Nenatiar carried, Lillian knew what to do as the rod slipped into her hands.  She would bind herself to her sisters, in doing so she would form the pact that she could never break.  Her life was the Tower’s, it was her sisters’.

 

“Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will speak no word that is not true.”

 

”Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will make no weapon for one man to kill another.”

 

“Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will never use the One Power as a weapon except against shadowspawn, or in the last extreme of defending my life, or that of my warder, or another sister.”

 

Finishing her oaths, Lillian let the rod go free as Mother removed it from her hands and replaced it upon the pillow.  Now there was only one thing left to do.

 

"It is half done, and the White Tower graven on your bones. Rise now Aes Sedai and choose your Ajah and all will be done that may be done under the Light."

 

Standing, Lillian made sure to catch the Keeper’s eyes, knowing that her sisters that waited behind her could not see her expression.  While it would more than likely merit a remark later, Lillian deliberately winked at the Keeper before turning towards her sisters.  She had a choice to make, but she had something to say.

 

“I make my choice not to favour one over others, but to go where I can serve the Tower best.”

 

One could have heard a pin drop as Lillian waited a moment before setting herself in motion.  Her choice became quickly apparent as she stood with her Ajah, how the sisters of her Ajah would receive her for her words even as the rest of her sisters departed she did not know, but she was bound to truth now.

 

She stood with the sisters of the White Ajah.

[Wayfarer]

Today was the day when Lillian Tremina would enter the final testing ter'angreal and emerge as an Aes Sedai. Arette was confident that she would make it; she had the required strenght in both the One Power and resolve and the discipline to have practiced the weaves and to remember them even in a worst stress. She had once practiced with the Accepted and did her worst and she had faltered only once. Remembering her own test with a shiver, she thought that you found extra willpower from being in mortal danger and channeling for your life. Lillian would come out safe.

 

Still, the waiting was gruesome and time seemed to go by slower than snail crawled. Finally the exhausted woman stumbled through the oval ter'angreal and the Yellow Sisters Delved and Healed her and offered her water. Now she had a night of solitude and contemplation ahead of her and then she was ready to resume her new position. Arette asked Karana to give her a moment and approached Lillian who was still gathering herself.

 

She lay a gentle hand on her shoulder and spoke quietly. "Well done, Lillian. But I knew you could do it. Go in Light... sister." With those words she headed after Karana and the two women glided away to resume their duties for the day.

 

* * *

 

Everyone knew what the Raising ceremony was like so usually there was no great eagerness to participate it for a new Sister except by those whose Ajah she would be joining. Lillian's case was special since no one could be quite certain that she would not join their Ajah. It would cause some irritation that every Ajah had had to prepare a party and six of them would be in vain. But Arette was going to participate the Brown Ajah festivities anyway, it had been a while since she had been able to enjoy the company of her Ajah.

 

She watched the ceremony proceed as usual and tension in the room grew as the moment of truth and choice got closer. Her eyes widened in alarm when Lillian winked at her and she formed a silent "No" as the woman made a statement about not favouring one over others. For a moment she was absolutely certain that the fool was going to go with her mad suggestion. Why had she went on and encouraged her firebrand ideas? If she really did it, Arette would go to the Mistress of Novices and ask a private penance for stupidity.

 

Her relief was palpable when Lillian walked away from Karana and approached the... White Ajah. Yes, it was a good choice and fitted the new Sister well. And the Whites could definately use the dusting and fresh winds she brought too, Arette thought with a grin. She was the second to congratulate Lillian and the Whites after Karana and this time it was her who winked. Light only knew what the Whites had in storage for their new petitioners. But she was already mentally geared for their own celebration. Punch, chocolate delicatesses and wearing nothing but her shawl... it was life. Maybe Karana would finally join them too because they all missed her dearly and she was certain that Karana missed the fun too.

 

Arette Nenatiar

Keeper of the Chronicles (retro)

Raised from the Brown Ajah

Bonded to Calvin Gaidin

[Wayfarer]

OOC: I have no idea if Isra would be Head or Sitter or either at the point in the timeline that you are setting this, so I am just going with Sitter. I also have no bloody clue if we have some sort of ceremony, so I will leave it to Robin to continue the RP if necessary. Sorry…it is what comes with being so out-of-the-loop, so much of the time. ;)

 

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It was rare these days to be summoned to the final testing of an Accepted. Rare that a child remained with the Tower throughout her novitiate, passed the grim horrors of the Arches, and continued her studies for the half decade or longer that it took her to gain the knowledge for the shawl of Aes Sedai. The summons therefore was not merely a fancily-worded invitation to a celebration of one woman’s triumph; it was a victory, however small, for the entire Tower. One more sister. One more warrior in the fight against the Shadow.

 

Isra knew Lillian, had assigned her a task so many years ago that she’d accomplished without complaint. She would be an asset to Tar Valon, to the White Tower, to the Amyrlin Seat. Would that they commanded her in the right direction, but Isra had as little influence with the Amyrlin as any of the White Ajah. And if she thought the woman wasted the resources of the Tower, her opinion only made small ripples on the pond.

 

“The white one, please,” she murmured to the novice who had been sent to assist her. “With the black embroidery.” She watched the child rummaging in her wardrobe, leaning as she did towards her mirror to set the final egg-shaped pearls into her hair. These were always particular occasions.

 

The girl, having found the requested gown, helped Isra into it and attended to the laces while the sister fastened a collar of pearls at her throat. The snake ring flashed on her hand, the only jewelry besides the necklace, and honey eyes regarded the result in the vanity mirror.

 

“You are free to go, child,” Isra waved a slim hand, setting her vine-choked shawl across her shoulders and leaving the room.

 

She mused silently on the walk to the hall of testing, her mind wandering into that territory that so many Whites refused to acknowledge, and so few held up as the grand plan for replenishing the population of channelers. A male channeler and woman channeler had a greater chance of producing offspring who could touch the Source, it was theorized. Why not encourage such pairings? Perhaps the Tower would be full again, and shawls gifted on a weekly basis, and the Arches of Acceptance humming through the noonday sun and darkest slips of night.

 

But, ran one of the many counterarguments, what of the inevitable male offspring? Would they be destroyed at birth? Gentled? Kept in control of the White Tower?

 

Isra left off her thoughts when she drew nearer the Hall, nodding in greeting to the women of the seven Ajahs who came to greet their newest sister. The Reds, the Blues, the Browns, the Greens, the Greys and Browns and Yellows and Whites would all send their Sitters to this meeting, and one of the Ajahs would return to their quarters with the news that they had grown by a member. Isra knew hardly enough about Lillian to guess her choice. She did not hope – not ever – that the girl would choose White. It was a difficult place for many, too esoteric, too cold. There were very few whose minds could thrive in the White Ajah, and those girls were decades – at least – apart.

 

Moving to join her sisters, she murmured greetings and stilled as the ceremony began, the ritual intonations, the oaths, the final shearing away of Lillian’s past identity and strongest binding of her to the Tower.

 

"It is half done, and the White Tower graven on your bones. Rise now Aes Sedai and choose your Ajah and all will be done that may be done under the Light,” murmured the Amyrlin, moving aside as Lillian rose. Isra watched in wintry silence, sure the Greens or Blues would grow this evening. Her eyes widened the smallest mark when Lillian stepped towards her and the White sisters. And then Lillian stood among them, her choice made, and Isra softened enough to smile at her and clasp her hand.

 

“Welcome, sister.”

 

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Isra Sedai

Sitter of the White Ajah

[Deiria]

OOC: there, enjoy! I'll fix it later if there is something to be fixed...

 

Deiria hugged Lillian, new white sister warmly. The journey had begun for her, the very same journey herself had started years and years ago. New Aes Sedai is an empty book, and it is Ajah's duty to fill it she thought dryly. Funnily, she didn't remember which one had said that at her raising ceremony. Maybe it had been Rosahna Sedai, it would be so like her. Or was it Leah?

 

Everyone wanted to welcome new sister and Deiria stepped backwards. She wanted to give space for others. Some she did knew better and had missed their company in Cairhien and some she knew only vaguely. New sister Lillian she didn't know at all. All she knew was she gained sisterhood verly slowly - being in the farm a year as a novice (OOC: am I correct?). Deiria had left the tower that time - for good she had thought back then. She tightened the shawl around her. She had not dressed it since she had left. The shawl felt strange after these years, but somehow she was now very complete. Like a small missing piece had been returned to her.

 

The group of white dressed women turned to leave to the White Ajah Quarters. The place they called home, it was home of every white sister, the heart of white ajah. Deiria had always thought the quarters was friendly and it had calming effect. Once she had stood there watching it, trying to imprint every tile, every painting, everything onto her mind. She had left to Cairhien to find herself, and had found - what? Deiria didn't know. Few sisters talked Lillian merrily, they knew her of course and were joyous of her choice. She understood, she was a stranger here. Lillian seemed to be happy and afraid of what would be ahead, even she did try to hid it rather well - after the Aes Sedai test it was difficult to control yourself. No-one could do it.

 

 

Deiria Sedai

Returned to the tower

 

[Robin]

OOC: It’s late and I’m a bit tired, so bear with me. :) I might got a bit carried away… If anything needs to be changed, let me know.

BTW, good to see you here Deiria! :D

 

Aleanda closed the door behind her and hurried downstairs. She knew she would arrive late but more than hurrying she couldn’t do anymore. Hindered by her thoughts she had forsaken to leave her room early and be in time for such an important happening. Important for the Ajah it was. Yet for Aleanda it was not that important. It became more and more difficult for Lea to hide her problems. Her thoughts wandered away, far away, much too often. The desire to do things like this wandered away with the thoughts and an empty shell remained when that happened. Still Aleanda couldn’t stay in her room trying to catch up on some sleep, or reorganise her thoughts since she had to be present to welcome a new Sister.

 

As expected Aleanda arrived as the last one. Sisters looked at her and Aleanda gave them a cold stare in return. Or actually not even that. She looked only at the White sisters who were also there already. They faces said nothing and Aleanda hoped that they were not thinking anything about this late arrival either. But with most White Sister you could never know, while they hid their emotions behind a firm expression, what they thought. Some sisters lacked this quality which most Sisters thought was an essential quality. Aleanda believed it was something of importance, being able to hide your emotions. Right now she didn’t only think it to be important but very useful as well. If she hadn’t chosen the White Ajah, she would definitely not be a Sitter. Most likely not even a respected Sister.

 

Aleanda nodded to greet her fellow Whites in the room. The room smelled as if some corpse had been laying around for weeks and they had tried to remove the smell only that morning. A vague unpleasant smell; the smell of a room that wasn’t used very often. Together with the flickering candles that hung all over the wall it made Aleanda shiver. As she was wearing a dress that closed high around the neck and everyone was watching either the Amyrlin Seat or Lillian, no one noticed. Things made Aleanda shiver quite easily lately.

 

Isra had to poke Aleanda with her elbow before she realised Lillian was already standing in front of them. She chose the White Ajah. Not to everyone’s surprise. “Welcome home Sister,” Aleanda muttered in Lillians ear while she embraced her Sister. Lillian had not been the most pleasant Novice or Accepted, but Aleanda knew this woman would make a good Aes Sedai however not an easy one. Close friends, she expected, they would never be. Aleanda smiled, a little smile, but a smile it was, while she released the fresh Aes Sedai from the tight hug. Aleanda had very quickly realised she regain strength, little strength, from embracing people.

 

Waiting patiently for the other to hug Lillian and welcome her to the White Ajah Aleanda saw that some of the Sitters had already left or were leaving. Those who had not gone yet and weren’t leaving stood talking with each other. Or rather, whispering; Aleanda could not hear what they were saying. When the other two had greeted Lillian Sedai they left the room and walked towards the White Ajah quarters to give the young Sister a more proper welcome. The girl would be thrown in front of the wolves, at least that is how Lea had experienced the debate she had had with the White Ajah Sisters when she had just been raised. Off course there would also be some food and wine so that everyone would not only be fulfilled with joy because of the just raised Sister among them. The way back to the quarters passed by slowly for Aleanda. She was not in the mood for chitchats, while that was what they were doing while walking: chitchatting. But like every way will end sometime, they reached the quarters and Aleanda opened the door where the other sisters would be waiting for them and especially for Lillian.

 

Aleanda Sedai

 

[Wayfarer]

Lillian embraced her sisters one after the other as they welcomed her, not one of them questioning her decision to speak the words she had uttered.  Simple acceptance, something that Lillian was wary of because she knew that each Ajah had their own ceremony to induct its members, even if she did not know what the ceremonies themselves were.  But, everything was to be accepted at face value unless it proved otherwise, the only way to expect trust was to give it first.  Besides, she knew two of the sisters that had come to meet her, Isra Sedai and Aleanda Sedai were both familiar to her.  Indeed, it had been noted a few times that except for their skin and a couple of minor differences, Aleanda Sedai and herself could have been mistaken for family, or even the same person.

 

But, now that embraces and welcome had been given, her sisters were escorting her from the hall where the ter'angreal that had tested her the day before lay.  Ascending the stairs, Lillian knew that she was a different person by the time they reached the White Ajah Hall.  Something had shifted within her between the testing hall and the White Ajah Hall.  All the while, no one had spoken a word to her, some whispered between themselves yet not to her.  That, if anything, was a mark that something lay ahead of her, a ceremony, a challenge perhaps.

 

Following Aleanda Sedai as she opened the hall, the other sisters filed in past her and headed to the far end.  Lillian had heard of this hall before, but being in it was something else altogether.  Up the centre was the floor, where people could argue and wield their oratory skills in favour of one cause or question even as others watched from the stands that surrounded.  That was where the sisters of her Ajah were headed now, all of them taking their seats as they watched her expectantly, yet their feelings about her remained unreadable.

 

Lillian didn't wait to be directed, she already suspected what was going to happen.  Walking onto the 'floor', Lillian couldn't help but feel a little intimidated.  She had trained and prepared thoroughly for the test to become Aes Sedai, she had known what to expect even if she had simply expected the unexpected.  This she hadn't rehearsed, she hadn't prepared, her talents and abilities would stand alone with only her will to hold them together to face whatever came.

 

Despite this, a simple mantra within her mind helped her calm the nerves as she let her hands fall to her sides.  One could only be defeated by what one resisted, acceptance defeated defeat.

 

She accepted her fate.

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

 

OOC:  Took a little liberty, let me know if I need to change anything.