I just finished re-reading that book too, and I really did find that part quite disturbing. That being said the series is full of unhealthy power dynamics in Male/Female relationships. It is one of the pillars of the series. In fact I think this may be Matt's version of one of the Ta'veren suffering some sort of abuse at the hands of women.
Rand's abuse at the hands of Elaida's Aes Sedai is obvious and physical. Which despite the Healing from "good" Aes Sedai leaves severe lasting emotional damage, and clear PTSD.
Perrin receives emotional abuse from a manipulative, dishonest, and controlling wife. Whether or not you like the Perrin and Faile (which I do), you have to admit their relationship is seriously messed up. This is one of the most pervasive and misunderstood types of abuse.
It could be that RJ was illustrating the three basic types of abuse (physical, sexual, and emotional) common in our society. What I find particularly powerful is they happen to three of the most powerful and important people in Randland. I think, it is meant to make the reader think "Is this ok?" It even shows Elayne blowing Mat off when he finally opens up to her. That could illustrate the massive betrayal that people often feel when they tell they're friends and family about abuse.
...on the other hand it could be just a really dark joke in poor taste. Who knows RJ is dead, so we can't exactly ask him. That's a great post OP. Thank you for sharing.