I just finished re-reading that book too, and I really did find that part quite disturbing. That being said the series is full of unhealthy power dynamics in Male/Female relationships. It is one of the pillars of the series. In fact I think this may be Matt's version of one of the Ta'veren suffering some sort of abuse at the hands of women.
Rand's abuse at the hands of Elaida's Aes Sedai is obvious and physical. Which despite the Healing from "good" Aes Sedai leaves severe lasting emotional damage, and clear PTSD.
Perrin receives emotional abuse from a manipulative, dishonest, and c