"What you do here, Narg? help hoo-mahn kill us? They no need help. You go blight and dig poo holes. You good be that. Leave death for Shamans. No shame in poo work."

Nargs trollocs gasped at the words from the less than intimidating shaman.  Would their leader take such abuse? How could a trolloc hold their head high after such insults?!?

"You looking for poo hole digger then you must talk to Nognahoj or Pumonca... you throw enough of their poo to know they best poo hole diggers in blight! Narg barely know how to dig hole!".... wait... was that good thing?

Nargbert sniffed the air.... he smelled saar'eve... but there was fresher scent on air... Nargs tongue came out... tasted it... chewed it.. rolled it around in his beak like a good loogie... was that?... "You let your trollocs bathe?!? How can shaman accept such heresy! And this after exploding blight worm trick you pull on Rahvin! And being mother of.... that one!" Narg shuddered at the thought.... how had saar'eve trick nargbert? Nargy thought he just satisfying self with tree, suddenly tree turn and Narg see it was Saar'eve... then child was evil... almost... clean...

"As overlord of all trollocs... that fight good and only eat boogers, not fling them.... Nargbert arrest you and sentence you to trial by .....vicious mockery!"

Nargs fist...  or claw... or the only five still alive cheered at the prospect.  Those with the shaman... not so much... Suddenly Narg burped... it really wet... and taste like toe... narg did enjoy eating something twice!

Smoke billowed into the sky as a wonderful smell of cooking flesh, both trolloc and hoo-mahn, permeated the air.  Pink rippled across a body as a breeze blew through feathers.  Once some thought the color shameful, but now all beings in the blight feared it.  Dreadlords, Myrdraal, Trollocs, dark friends… they all shuddered at the mention of his name…. Nargbert.  The coming of the pink feathered trolloc meant death.  The Chosen…. Well, those foolish hoo-mahns rarely looked at Nargbert twice, other in disgust.  However soon, Nargbert would join the ranks of the chosen.  How could he not, he greatest trolloc ever!  Many spoke of his ferocity, his good looks, his never being defeated in battle…

Until today….

Nargbert had taken a fist out to raid in Kandor.  He enjoyed escaping the Overlord life, coming out on small raids.  He knew a group of Hoo-mahns and those tasty horse creatures had been trying to catch him for a day now, but no horse could keep up with a trolloc who was hungry, and Nargbert made sure this fist was hungry.  He devised a grand plan, raid this small town, capture some food, wheel away, return to the blight.  There was nothing those silly Hoo-mahns could do to catch him.  However, Narg hated suprises and left Dork’un and his claw as a rear guard.  He was offered a greater piece of the food prize for having to stay out of the fighting.  However, Dork’un and claw could not help themselves.  Frenzy they called it… hungry they called it.  Nargbert called it stupid.  So while Nargbert’s glorious Fist in town collecting its spoils, no one was there to warn him that somehow the four legged freaks and their hoo-mahns had caught him.  Nargbert quickly found out when his Fist was struck from behind. 

It was Chaos.  Nargbert in a house, hoo-mahns already have a cookpot boiling for him.  He was enjoying sampling some of the food they would be taking with them.  Nothing like gnawing on fresh leg to make Nargbert so happy.  Then the screeching.  The yelling of trollocs.  Then the running.  Nargbert quickly knew he could not control the fist and quickly retreated with them.  Many hoo-mahns stayed behind to protect Narg’s food, but some rode out to finish Narg and his trolloc warriors off.  They quickly learned a fleeing trolloc still could bite. 

So Narg stood on a hill, surrounded by trees fighting the blight, and felt bad for himself.  He watched the smoke burn, thinking of how he would turn this into a victory by explaining that he took the weakest trollocs out to be culled.  The trollocs behind him had a small fire going, cooking what few spoils they were able to capture for the day.  He wanted to backhand them, to fling poo at them, but…. The desire just wasn’t there. 

So Narg closed his eyes… breathed.  He must still get this shattered first home.  He took a deep breath and meant to turn to his troops…. But he caught a scent.  One he hadn’t smelled in years.  One he hoped never to smell again… but it was there.  She had found him… and in all places on a raid… Narg muttered under his breath…

“Saar’eve…”  

*tries to figure out why people would think this is Nargs toilet with Donkey Poo in it... He obviously excretes bird poo* Not white enough for narg.  Feathers though.... *looks around for the theif*

No one hangs with nargy... they hottub with nargy  ?

.... or get cooked in his cookpot... same thing

No no, spicy! *bats birdy eyes* hey yourself

Oh too late for that. Nargy stank has settled on you and it doesnt wash out. Just ask Liitha or Nyna, it hangs around.  Just sniff them, they have been covered by it for years!

You will walk into a room, wondering who's feet smell so bad... turns out its you...  sitting in a meeting and wondering who farted... wait, that's just you... other trollocs will give you the stink eye because you got the coveted narg smell on you!  Soon even freshly washed laundry will smell odd because you are so used to the smell.

Or so Narg been told. Sense of smell burned out long ago!

I am spicy! Nargy spicy! Always spicy!.... and smelly... taste a little strange too

Nargbert - Trevor al'Drakun III Esq. Freebo0ter. Minor noble... wait... minor?? What?? That isn't right... I demand a recount of my titles!

BOOM!..... BOOM!...

Horses were rearing up everywhere. Onley's cart raced through the village, turning hard here... banking hard there. Trevor and Thad had used up almost all of the fireworks. Thankfully they had started no fires as of yet.

"Just one left Thad. I am going to save it for the right moment."

"Ok... Party on Trev!"

Suddenly they took a hard right turn and Trevor lost his balance. He dropped the fireworks to the bottom of the cart, but he began to tumble over the side. He grabbed the edge with one hand and held on for dear life. The wheels rumbled next to him. If he fell he would probably go under one and that would be the end of Trevor. Bummer. Suddenly a hand shot out to him as Trev looked up. There was Thad, hair rippling in the wind, backlit by the sun. Probably the best sight Trev had ever seen, and that is saying something! Trevor grasped the hand and was pulled into the cart just as two crossbow bolts embedded themselves in the cart just where he had been.

"Thanks Dob. Lifesaver as always!" Trev glanced around and saw old Mr. Connley's manure storage as they flew on by. This gave him an idea as he found their last fireworks and aimed it at the barn.

"What are you doing? That is our last one!"

"Relax. I overheard someone once mentioning what fire and manure can do. Might as well see if it is true!" Trevor lit it off as the firework flew true, through a window and into the barn just before the whitecloaks got there. Yet nothing happened. What a waste.

"Blood and bloody ash-" There was a sudden roar as the whitecloaks passed the barn. Trevor felt an immense amount of heat as he threw up his hands over his face. The only thing, besides a large fireball, that Trev remembers seeing was the whitecloaks being thrown a good distance off their horses. Wood flew high into the sky and shot out everywhere. Splinters fell like rain across the village.

"Light! That was Excellent Trev!"

"Whoah..." Was all he could say. The plume of smoke and fire made its way higher into the air as the cart road out of town.

"Our parents are going to hate paying for this damage." Said Thad.

"True... but I doubt the whitecloaks follow us now. Ride Onley! Ride!"

They Air harped to their success!

lol... and a warm hello to you Eqwina! I hope my appearance doesn't cause too much fear... but a whole lot of snugglepouncing!!!!

No no... we definitely do the martini's that way. That little bit of extra flavor is what really does it! Of course, it is the salt and bile margarita that people really go wild over!

As if Narg needed sleep drugs to put the ladies under his spell.

How do these people not know of the hottub????? Seriously! Ok... here we go.

The hottub is nothing more than my cookpot with a good amount of wood burning beneath it. However, this isn't just any cookpot. This thing is huge! And no... Narg not compensating for anything.

We have the water park there to your left.... sports and entertainment bar straight ahead.... and for those of you looking for a quieter time, the lounging station where cabana boys and girls stop by every once in a while to drop off drinks. It is resort living at its most trollocness!

As for displaying excellence towards each other Quibby... Did you not see us air harp towards each other? Most Excellent!

awesomeness fails to describe the exact awesomeness that exists here. I might try to describe it as uberawesomeness.. but that might reduce some of it by trying to describe it... so... we shall stick to just... whoah..... *air harps*

Ahh, the Kings Blessing. Nothing like a grubby mug of ale and a woman of dubious character to make one feel like home. Of course there were the thieves, strong arms, drifters, scavengers.... and don't forget, musicians. Yes, a wonderful place that made his father shudder the first time he mentioned it. He made his way up to the bar, sat, and ordered himself up a mug of the good stuff. Ok, it wasn't really good stuff, but he always found the barman's look entertaining when he ordered it that way. Looking around he finally found Thad back in the corner. Trev air harped and grinned at Thad's reply. He was going to have to talk to him about his air harp. His left arm was slipping just a horse hair down. Form was everything!

"About flaming time you goat kis..." Thad wasn't able to finish his words as the door crashed open. "Burn it!" Thad yelled as he made a run for it.

"Light! Already?!" Trevor wasn't going to stick around and say hello, that was for sure. He saw Thad make a beeline for the back door and he quickly followed. They burst outside into the wonderful light as Thad looked around quickly. "What now Dob?

"We are supposed to meet our ride back here." Thad Said.

"Someone agreed to give us a ride? Do they know who we are? Do we know who THEY are??"

"Yeah, he knows us. It is Onley." Trevor smacked his head at this.

"Onley?? Light that man would just a soon as sell us to the whitecloaks as help us escape!"

And speaking of those dark and evil forces, two men suddenly rounded the corner. Their armor gleamed beneath their snow white cloaks. Their swords glinted in the sun as the men held them menacingly, a look of joy spreading across their face as they found their pray.

"Any other ideas there Thad... Because right now I am thinking..." Suddenly the doors to the inn's stable flew open as a team of horses and a cart came flying out. "Jump in!" Yelled the person driving the cart of death. It was Onley! Trevor and Thad ran and jumped onto the back of the cart, holding on for dear life as the horses charged down the whitecloaks, forcing them to jump aside.

Trev and Thad pulled themselves all the way in and sat up. They had escaped! "Party on Thad!" Trev air harped. "Party on Trev!" Thad air harped back. They began to rock out when suddenly Onley called out....

"Crossbows!!"

Notice how I started posting in this thread and everyone ran for the hills. Whats up with that??

And those screams from the hottub you are hearing are screams of delight! Really!

Awwww... you did miss me Quibby! Besides... They don't need all that when they run into my alternate personality Trevor al'Drakun III, Esquire. Ok... they might need a designated driver.... and maybe a therapist. But it would be fun! Really! Trust me!

Oh, and don't you dare warn them of the hot tub Quibby... er....

Hottub anyone?

"YOU WHAT???!!!" Trevor winced. His mother's rages were legendary and he was on the receiving end of one that would be remembered for several turnings of the wheel. Something flew past his head and exploded in a cloud of gas behind him. Man, his mom was pissed! This wasn't going to be a normal punishment, he could already tell that. Usually he was sent to tend the sheep or something like that on one of their country estates. 'It will build character' his father would always say. Unfortunately for their estates, it usually lead to him corrupting the help.

"THE KING'S COUSIN??!! HOW COULD YOU?" MMmmm.... she was a looker. Hair the color of fields of golden wheat... plump red lips just made for kissing... hips that you just wanted to grab and..

"ANSWER ME!" Hmmm.... should he be quiet and just let her burn her self out? Uh oh... she reared back, ready to smack him... he better start talking...

"I didn't know she was the King's cousin mother! I mean... she was slumming it just like Thad and I and I just figured..." Hmmm... maybe slumming it was a bad choice in words...

"Don't you DARE SPEAK OF HER THAT WAY! She is the Kings COUSIN!!!!!" Yep, definitely a bad choice in words...

"Sorry mother... well, you know... she was making those eyes at me and..." Obviously the look he was being given meant that she DIDN'T know. He started weaving a fantastical story of how they met and what the spoke of. None of it was true, but he needed to slow his mother down. He always wondered what his father saw in his mother. Oh, he had heard the stories. How she used to be a sweet and kind little thing. Quiet and unassuming. Every nobles son was after her, thinking she would make the perfect, pliant wife. Trevor didn't believe it for a second...

"But you were hitting on her maid as well!" What? Oh Blood and Ashes. Did he miss a part. He thought it over quickly in his head. Ok, maybe he did miss a detail or two.

"Well, you know... she was following us around... figured she was the ugly friend... Might gain some points by buttering her up!" Hmmm... another bad choice in words. His mother's face turned purple with rage... She started to whisper... his brain started screaming at him DANGER DANGER!

"And...... her daughter... I believe I heard you two were caught up in a room in a rather compromising situation..." Daughter? Daughter? What daughter?

"Uh, her daughter? I don't remember a Daughter in..... oh wait... That part is a little fuzzy.... oh yeah! That other nice sweet piece of " Something else flew by his head and exploded behind him again. Why wouldn't she just relax? It was just another fun night on the town. Yeah, they told him to stay out of the taverns... but that was never the worst of what they had done. Well... maybe this WAS the worst they had DONE. But what they convinced the other kids to do... flaming dung balls in the street... cutting the legs of stalls in the market so when loaded up they crashed to the ground... just ideas they happened to pass along to others. There was the dragons fang on the fortress of light. Trev tried to convince Thad that they should get the kids to do it on the Lord Captain Commander's door... but for some reason the other kids just wouldn't go for it.

Uh oh... more whispering....

"I am done trying to teach you some basic manners. I can't even get you to behave at dinner, let alone act like the noble you are. Therefore you have left me no choice.." No choice? That doesn't sound good... Blood and bloody ashes... she just stood up straighter... RUN! RUN!

"Your father and I... along with the local authorities... believe the best place for you is the Fortress of Light." Trevor blinked... did she just say what he thought she did??

"THE FORTRESS OF LIGHT???? BLOOD AND BLOODY ASHES MOTHER! NEVER!" Wow... he was capable of yelling back at his mother??

"Don't you dare take that tone of voice with me young man. You and young Thadius are lucky the King didn't string you up by your neck. It took everything I could do to convince him to let you join instead of hang" Hang?? For what? It was all innocent fun! Mostly...

"But, we are only 16! They won't take us!" His mother grinned evilly at him. "Oh, they have heard of you two. I believe someone drew something on their door the other night and they were most.... excited... to get their hands on the perpetrators. Now... they will be here in the morning to take you away to your new life.... I suggest you retire to your bedroom and prepare yourself for what is coming. Now get out of my sight.... son!" She practically spit out the last word. Whitecloaks..... whitecloaks..... This was not part of the plan....

Trevor ran upstairs to his room and began packing a small sack of stuff. A few monogrammed outfits... his harp.... his hat with the feather sticking up... Then he tied up some sheets and threw them out the window. No one was sending him to the whitecloaks... not when the world had so much fun... booze... and women to experience! If Thad... good old The Dob himself... was getting the same rear chewing he was... and the same news... he knew he would make a run for it as well... And where better to meet than...

The Kings Blessing....

He was off

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Keep Narg happy! *wonders what is on that list* I don't remember sanctioning a list.... I enjoying playing with my food.... er.... friends... yeah friends... before I ... uh... enjoy their company for dinner....

And as The Don said... if you feel like running into a couple of weird chars going from Amador to the big TV... hit us up.... we will be... doing something... *air harps*

Narg sniffed... he didn't smell anything. Ok, that wasn't true. There was a hint of lavender and roses... but narg ignored bad smells now. He not smell any hoo-mahns... but if he looked closely, he could see some dirt in the distance... yes... dirt... but it wasn't on the ground! MUST BE LARGE PACK OF HOO-MAHNS!!!! Crap.... Saar'eve was right. He couldn't have that happen very often. Trollocs might start listening to her. That be... baaaaaaaaad. Narg smacked himself... can't be talking in goat now.

"Yes Saar'Eve... hoo-mahns... they taste good always... and yes... we need plan... but no use birds for sheild... they too skinny... pointy stick go through and still get you! Hmmmm.... hmmmm... " Narg thought hard... his head hurt... but he still thought hard. Then plan came to him.

"Look Saar'Eve... there large hill near where hoo-mahns going... Narg say we put trollocs up there... and when hoo-mahns get close underneath them... we throw birds at them! We knock hoo-mahns down and then we kill them without trying! Good plan, yes??"

Saar'Eve just stared at him... did she not understand what great plan Narg had just come up with??? Oh wait... Narg farted... explains the look perfectly.

"TROLLLOCS! WALK FAST!"

Read and Looks good to me.

Consider yourself stamped with the seal "Shadow Inside"

Etiher an elite DF or a channeler... maybe some channeler thinking he will get revenge on the shadow for being passed over for something?

"Star things... huh... fine... Narg need hut while we wait for star things."

Trollocs started forming up around Narg and Saar'eve. First the lower level was created. Trollocs kneeled on the ground... then the next set of trollocs got on top of those... then they slowly started building up around the two until before a trolloc knew it... HUT!

Narg then make a fire on the edge of their hut. There was hole on top to let smoke out... trollocs near the fire started to shift a little. The hut bulged out. "Narg say stay still!" The trollocs got back into place but there was some screaming about it.

In no time at all stars were out... Narg and Saar'eve walked outside just as the hut collapsed.... A large bonfire kicked up at that point.

"Put that out! Narg can't see stars!" More trollocs throw themselves on fire to put it out.

" So Saar'eve... Narg can't nothing no more... where we go huh? East? Narg say we go kitchen! Yeah... Great Lord tell Narg to go kitchen!" Narg gather up his troops... yes... kitchen! That the way they go... First... they must eat... they go over to old hut... hey! Meat! Digs in!

Yes... kitchen... or they go ball.. Narg shall see.

Nargbert the trolloc, overlord of the Ahf'frait trollocs, leader of 1/3 of the blight trollocs. You?

Wheat biscuts? Really? In SG??? Don't we usually serve food high in Transfats and MSG?

I believe our fearless leader Liitha is planning something on a grand scale. *nod nod*