Arath stared down at the ground between them and she couldn't help but wonder what this man would be like if he wasn't controlled by the constant worry of madness and what he would be like as the years shaped him into a better man. She could not help but think that he would be quite the man when it was all over with. "I suppose to answer that, I need to go back to your other questions.  The first time I held a bond was a few months ago when a group of your sisters paid a visit to the Farm.  During that unfortunate incident, I was forced to bond an Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah.  It wasn't a pleasant experience, being bonded to her.  I'm pretty sure that she tried very hard to keep it that way.  The riot of emotions constantly throbbing in the back of my mind ... she made me pay for bonding her every single day.  It was a relief to finally release the bond." She nodded, she could imagine what a Sister of the Blue would do to a man who had bonded her against her will, rather he had done it under orders or not. The Sister would have made his life like walking through Shayol Ghul everyday of the time they were bonded. She had been through a bonding that felt like hell to her, where at the end all she wanted to do was ram a sword through his heart for causing her so much stress, pain, and anger. Honestly the man had acted like he was God's gift to women and that she should fall into bed with him. On top of that he destroyed her relationship with Seia for quite some time and in the end she had picked her Warder over Seia.

"I don't know why I want to do this again.  It makes sense for a lot of different reasons, which is why this is happening in the first place.  But personally. I think more than anything, I'm looking for someone I can trust.  Someone I can trust to have my back, without having to constantly check over my shoulder to make sure they're still ... sane.  I don't know.  My reasons are hard for me to explain to myself, let alone to anyone else.  More than anything I want to fight.  I won't let the Shadow win, and I'll do whatever it takes to prevent that.  If that means bonding with an Aes Sedai ..." Jaydena nodded and looked him in the eyes, "You know I am looking for the same time, it's been a long time since I had anyone I could trust. Yes I trust my Gaidar but we are bonded and I feel her feelings at all times. I know what she's doing and how she feels and that alone makes me trust her. However I hadn't been bonded to a man in so long, and I haven't trusted a man in more years than I care to admit. I have to be honest, there is a novelty to being bonded to another channeler, experimenting with linking, with fighting as a team with the benefit of the bond that intrigues me. I am a Green heart and soul, I have fought for well over 100 years against the Shadow and I will continue to do so until I draw my last breath. If that's what you are looking for, as well as a friend, a sister, a companion who knows how you are feeling and wants to help ease things. I know you could go mad, if you want someone who would plunge a dagger into your heart if you go mad than I am a Aes Sedai for you. If those are not things you want than that's fine and hopefully you will find someone to help ease your loneliness and be the helpmate you are looking for." She nodded and gazed at him, without any pretenses or masks. Reaching up she pulled the mask from her face and faced him, her face burned and scared below the mask. "This is what I am, a burned, lonely, bitter old woman who has outlived everyone she loved or watched as they turned that love to hatred. I have watched so many die to the Shadow but I keep fighting on and will continue to do so. I am proud of the work I have done this lifetime, will you be as proud of yours?" Gazing at him she waited...

Jaydena Mckanthur

Jaydena watched closely as Loraine looked down at the ring on her finger and she rubbed the spot on her own finger where her beloveds ring used to be. There were days she missed that ring and what it had symbolized but the very thing it has symbolized to her hadn't meant the same to the person that wore the other side of it. In fact that very person had chosen to embrace the Shadow rather than be with her, so she couldn't say the ring had meant more than the material it was made of to that person.  "Since they insisted on this monstrosity of a wedding, I'm letting them plan it. They should be contacting me about details soon, though. If I know them, they'll be focused on making it as big and splashy as possible. That's how my grandfather would've done it and I don't doubt for a second that they've taken up the charge to make House Kilaine a major power in Carhien." Jaydena chuckled and watched the other woman, she could only imagine what they were going to do to the poor woman. It ought to be fun to see in fact, and fun to help Loraine defy their wishes as much as she could.

"They're determined to make me a proper force to be reckoned with and don't believe that my sword or my warder are enough to do that. Can you imagine me telling Kynwric that? I'm having enough fun imagining him in full, formal Carhien dress, as it is!" She burst out laughing at the thought and grinned at Loraine, "Oh my goodness, that is going to be quite the sight to see! I can only imagine what he is going to say to that order." She laughed again, "I am so glad I will be there to see him and the look on his face when he marries you. I am so happy for you Loraine, I can't think of a better for this to happen to. Even if it does involve massive amounts of politics and posturing. It will still be an interesting trip there with all of us and an interesting stay. Plus do you know how long it's been since I left the Tower for anything but my duties." She shuddered and smiled at the other woman, for she understood better than many.

Jaydena Mckanthur

Nothing for me. I actually got some replies here at the end of the month so I replied to stuff today so far I have three done. *G* I will actually have something to report this month. *laughs* Hope rl slows down for you a bit hun.

Jaydena watched as Rasheta brought herself back to the present, it was very clear by the way the other woman was starting at her warder that she was very happy with her choice for her second warder. She thought wistfully of the days that she was happy to have a warder and shook the sadness that settled into her at the thought away. This was Rasheta's and Visar's day and not about her own sadness or lack of warders. "I am sorry I wasn't listening what did you say?" She chuckled softly and spoke, "I just wondered if you had given him a fancloak yet?" She smiled at the other woman and than at Visar as she waited for an answer.

"No, I have not given him one yet. I was thinking I would present it after he spoke to you." Nodding she watched as Rasheta turned to look at the man, "If you would not mind waiting a little longer in order to be given the cloak. Dante will I'm sure tell you about getting his and regal you with stories of the glory of wearing it around Tar Valon." Jade snorted softly as Rasheta rolled her eyes at her Gaidin's behavior. She totally understood as she had seen the same things before. Though she could understand it in a way, the cloak was a badge of honor that many Tower Guards never achieved. Only the strongest, most cunning, and often the most handsome made it into the ranks of Warder. Rasheta turned her attention back to her and spoke again, "If you would rather I present it to him now I will gladly use one of the cloaks you have and do what must be done." Rasheta spoke to her warder again and Jaydena stood, "No that's just fine you two. I just wanted to make sure that you had one in your posession. I have some here and in my office so I can give them to sisters who don't have any." She turned to Visar, "I think you will be an excellence Warder to her and I don't think I need to tell you to do your best to protect her, for I can already tell you will. Welcome to the ranks of Green Ajah Gaidin my dear." She smiled at him and turned to Rasheta, "Congratulations on your new Gaidin Rasheta, he seems worthy of the task. Treat him with respect and honor and he will be an excellence companion, friend, and warder for many days to come." She started walking towards the door and the two of them followed, "I will let you get back to your day and getting him that cloak I am sure. Again Congrats!" She smiled and watched as the two of them walked from the room...

Jaydena Mckanthur

IC Captain General

ooc- Sorry for the wait on this!

She watched the woman closely, listening to every word she said, and trying to take it all in. Here was another case of a Red bonding a male channeler and going against convention. She hadn't known this story and had never heard it spoken of. It was surprising for as she had heard, she was a Sitter and Ajah Head and that was something she should have known. Which told her that someone had done their best to seal the matter to the Ring. Her heart ached for the pain the other woman had endured for a moment as she watched the pain flit across Zarinen's face. Finally the other woman finished speaking and she took a drink of her tea before she responded, "What you are unable to see my dear is that we are working towards the same end here. I have heard of your general apathy towards Greens but we are your strongest allies. We both want the same thing here Zarinen. I want to see these men survive and make it to the Last Battle so that they can fight back to back with the Aes Sedai and with the Dragon defeat the Shadow. It sounds like you want nothing more than the same thing, only you want to make sure they don't destroy the world or anyone else in madness at the same time. That's a goal I can admire, in fact some of my greatest friends in this Tower have been from this Ajah. However what you need to realize is this, we understand bonding better, period. This is the first time in history that the Reds have bonded."

She took another sip of the tea, she glanced down at it, and resolved to ask the other woman what kind it was, it was in fact quite good. Shaking her head she spoke again, "We have been bonded in the Greens since the moment the Greens were created and the White Tower took shape. The Greens understand the process of bonding better than anyone and I know you agree, otherwise your Reds wouldn't have come snooping in the Green Halls for answers. It doesn't matter to me if the men are bonded to Blues, Reds, Greens, or anyone else. What I want to see is them not rot, and not go mad, and for them to be there, but the answer to your question is that yes I would kill a Warder if I needed to and if I saw that change in him I wouldn't take it lightly. Madness is not something that is easy to deal with, but it sounds like we have both dealt with someone we cared for and were bonded to go mad. In fact both through the Shadow's means, though in different ways. It's not an easy experience but there are things that have to be done for the greater good and we both know it. Just as we know that the reason you are bonding these men is control and also to make sure they don't go mad. I think it's admirable but I also don't think you should be as arrogant as to assume that no one in this Tower but the Reds can understand what it means to be bonded to one of these men or that other women in the Tower couldn't handle it. Honestly Zarinen considering everything I had heard about you and the direction you were taking the Reds, I am actually pleasantly surprised on your attitude and who is running the Reds."

Leaning her body a bit closer to the woman she spoke again, "In fact it's very nice to see the Reds loosen up a bit and find a way to adapt to the changes that are being thrown at all of it. The Reds have had to deal with quite a few blows the last little while and I am glad to see you rolling with the punches rather than fighting it. Not that my words mean much to you I am sure but let me say this, "I realize that these men should not be treated as normal Warders or Bondholders for that matter. They have the full potential to go mad, some later than others, and they should be handled as the weapons they are. They should however still be treated as humans with the rights to their own decisions and not be controlled like dogs. It sounds like you don't intend to do that and for that I am very happy. These men could be bonded to any Ajah in this Tower and I do hope that eventually that happens for I think it will foster quite a bit of good relations between our two Towers. You may understand madness but you aren't the only one. I apologize for assuming you don't know what you are talking about for it's clear that you do. I had not heard for your story but it clearly demonstrates that you know what's going on. By the way Zarinen you can love someone as a Warder and wish they could be your spouse and still choose to kill them." Pain flashed in her own eyes as she thought back to a rainy night, a bonded, and a dagger. "You know now that we know who each other are, we should perhaps work on aligning our Ajahs again and dealing with these new developments together." Sipping her tea, she  regarded the other woman over the top of her cup...

Jaydena Mckanthur

LOL no rps for me this month.

I am sorry to hear that sweetie but you totally earned a break, great work the whole time and you have other stuff going on. Good luck to those that apply.

*hugs* Welcome back dear!

Ok so this is for April???

I just poked Elgee and made her giggle, so when she's feeling better she will catch up on our rp and than I will start the Green one.

LOL ok I was on LOA in March so I didn't post one of these than. This is a catch up one for me.

A cause for Celebration

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,49919.0.html

Loraine admits to several or the Greens that she is going to marry Kynwric in her homeland and invites them to be involved.

Meeting the Second

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,49610.0.html

Jaydena meets Rasheta's second warder Visar in her rooms as part of the duties a Green Sister must perform after she bonds.

What do you mean your not a Red?

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,53695.0.html

Jaydena meets Arath her future Asha'man bondholder inside the halls of the Reds and he lets slip about the bonds with the Red Ajah. Jade and Arath are confronted by the Highest and the two ajah heads size each other up...

Looking for a new Warder...I mean Ashaman!

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,53696.0.html

Jaydena is running in the Warders Yard when Arath approaches her and begins to speak about the bond and how he feels about it. It's the first time she has seen him since meeting him in the Red Halls.

*bounces up*

*pokes this back up*

I will get this done tomorrow or today, just need to relook at everything now that I am back online after my LOA and see if I posted on anything.

I am headed to the coast of Canada in Vancouver area to do a meet up for my own site. I don't know if I will have access to the net until next Tuesday. Didn't want you all to think I vanished. Have a great weekend everyone. *hugs*

Congrats you two, I can't wait to see what ajahs you choose!

Well I have a rp on hold right now with the the Highest of the Reds about the bonding, and another rp with my future Asha'man where she is learning more about the bond. So perhaps we could start an rp where Jade calls everyone to talk to them about the Asha'man. As for the weaves, I think some of those are green only. *ponders* I will have to look it over once I get back from my trip and find out.

*nods* Those all seem like good ideas. I know I had another idea recently to do a big meeting of some kind, have it in the Hall of Swords and discuss things like bonding the Asha'man,the Reds, etc.

Welcome back dear. *snuggles*

Do you want the links to my rps or is that the other thread?

Dang sorry I missed this hun. I hope you are feeling better and that your body heals quickly. *snuggles*

She looked at him silently, wondering how the road had led her here, she could still remember well going down to the basements and studying the Asha'man. Though she had gotten permission to be on of those to study them, she had just talked to them and learned more about them as individuals. She remembered how she had been looked down on by the Reds in the room because she flirted in their opinion with one of them. The Reds hadn't treated that young man very nicely and he had gone onto attack the Tower in his madness and kill their Amyrlin and Keeper. That had been a dark day for all of them but part of that was caused by the arrogance of so many. Those women who had thought it was ok to confine a human and study him to learn more about him, instead of inviting him to a mutual location and talking with him. She shook her head and looked at Arath who was smiling at her. That's a good sign, she thought, at least I think it is. "Well, that's certainly more than I've ever gotten from one of your Red sisters.  I've already had first hand experience with holding a bond, so I'm aware of some of the details.  It is good to know what the Green Ajah expects from a bond though.  But what about you?  What is your personal view on it?  Why would you be willing to be bonded to one of my kind?"

She nodded and than spoke, "That's something I wasn't aware of, that you had held a bond before. I noticed many of the Asha'man have already bonded, is it this previous bond that made you want to not bond. Were the other other bonded before?" Realizing she was firing far to many questions at him she almost blushed and spoke again, "To many questions and you can answer those if you want later. I should answer your's first." She smiled, "I expect the same things from a bond, it would be nice to be bonded again for one thing. I have missed that friendship, the connection, and the companionship that comes with a bond. I wouldn't say I am looking for a lover, though there are women that enjoy the perks that come with the bond in that area." Jade grinned and looked at the ground to give him a second just in case her frank talk had embarrassed him.

Raising her head she spoke again, "I am interested  in someone who is passionate about the things he believes in, is smart, has a sense of humor, can keep me on the straight and narrow when I need it." She laughed softly, "Which isn't very often but it happens. I need someone who knows the business end of a sword and knows how to protect me. I find the added advantage of having someone who can channel watching my back and me watching his to be very interesting. I do think there are more advantages than disadvantages in the idea. As for why I would want to bond an Asha'man. I am not scared of you or any of you in fact. Yes you could go mad but you could also be standing during the Last Battle and fighting for the right cause. I look at this like pretty much any bond I have ever held, I am not one for conventional things. I have bonded more than one female which is often looked down on. I have been lovers with my Warder and someone elses. Again not very popular. I look at bonds as something special and to be taken on a case by case basis. So what about you, what interests you in bonding an Aes Sedai?"

Jaydena Mckanthur

*hugs* Your a strong one dear and you will rock that bootcamp.

She watched an amused look cross his face before he replied to her, "Fair enough, every other time I've met an Aes Sedai she's tried to kill me.  Even in these last couple weeks it's been fairly ... tense." She winced at that one, she had heard stories once word had gotten out. The outrage in many quarters was at an all time high and many were very angry at the Reds for bringing this dangerous presence within their walls. Many more were angered at their Amyrlin but there wasn't anything they could do about it. "There hadn't been any open attacks, but every so often someone had a panic attack and started shielding people. We're allowed to wander about now, because it seems the secret is out, though I can't for the life of me figure out who might have spread it around." When he looked quite pointedly at her she almost burst out laughing, did the man really think she had told everyone their secret?  "Not much point in keeping us cooped up in secret when everybody knows.  I expect they also grew tired of every other Aes Sedai in the Tower intruding in the Red quarters to question their 'guests'. And no, I've not ended up in a bond.  The deal was that whoever is being bonded must go into it willingly.  Which I haven't been."

She watched him carefully and wondered exactly what he was thinking in that head of his, for some reason he reminded her of a predator, a bear or something along those lines. People were scared of Aes Sedai for a reason, barely leashed power under your skin, even more apparent in a man with the ability to channel it seemed. "I suppose I've been rejecting bonds because nobody who has come to me has been willing to explain what she expects out of it.  I will not be bonded only to be a pet or a manservant.  And the few I've approached certainly don't want to be on the 'wrong end'." She laughed softly and than spoke, "Well that doesn't surprise me my dear, most Aes Sedai wouldn't be willing to be in a bond where a man is likely to go mad and kill everyone, at least that's how it was pitched to me." She ran a hand down the polished wood of the lathe and than continued, "First of all let's clear some things up. I did not tell anyone about the Asha'man, the Reds did that themselves. They came into our quarters and asked many pointed questions about the bond, about the effects of it, and in fact even questions that involved bedding."

She chuckled and eyed him before continuing, "Couple that with the secret glances, the researching in the library on Asha'man, bonding, and the fact that all of you were kept "secret" in their quarters, someone figured out they had bonded. Eventually it all came out and it didn't come out of my mouth, I respect everyone involved enough not to go telling everyone. I am an Aes Sedai and we learn how to keep secrets very early on." She arched an eyebrow at him, nodded her head, and than continued. Jade hoped that he understood that she couldn't tell a lie to him. "As for the bond, this is what it gives you, a longer life span, which since you can channel already doesn't really effect you. Secondly it gives you the ability to "feel" me. Which means that in a small spot in your brain you will know that I am upset, or that I just cut my thumb, or even that I just bedded someone." She grinned at him and than continued, "I also will be able to feel those same things from. In addition you will be able to endure far more things, cold, heat, lack of food, and exhaustion. I am not sure how this effects you as you already have some of those abilities from your channeling. This is uncharted territory for me and others so the fact is we don't know and we won't know until the bonds have been in place for many years," pausing she thought for a moment, "you also gain the ability to locate me at all times during peril or otherwise and so do I. You also gain the ability to sense Shadowspawn, though I am not sure if you already have that ability as a channeler?"

She waited for him to answer and than continued, "There are some drawbacks, if I die you will be in a great deal of pain emotionally and you will "feel" me die. It may also push you into madness further, many Warders kill themselves, or go into the Borderlands and disappear. This goes both ways, if you die I also have the ability to go insane or kill myself. Again I am uncertain, which believe me is not something Aes Sedai like to be." Jade laughed at the irony of this entire situation and than spoke, "So yes you might gain some things, you might also lose some things. However this is what I know you would gain, if you bonded a Sister of the Greens. You would gain a helpmate, someone trained in battle, in defeating Shadowspawn, who knows what it means to be bonded and knows how to treat you with respect. Though you hopefully would get the respect from any Sister you bond. You also will get a relationship unlike any other, a friend, a sister, a lover, a best friend, whatever way a bond develops it is still one of the most special connections you will ever know. That person is there to guard your back and you are there to guard theirs. As for holding the bond, as long as you didn't spend your time trying to "force" me to do stuff, which I am not sure even works with the channeler to channeler bond I don't care who holds it." She switched the lathe to her other shoulder and looked at him to see how he was feeling...

Jaydena Mckanthur

Oh geez sweetie, that is crazy!!!! I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope they do decide on getting those orders, they often work. I am doing ok, busy with cookie sales for Girl Scouts, recovering from the loss of someone I love, and crafting.