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DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

Wheel Funny: Black Ajah Gathering


lolguy26

Ever wanted to know how much planning and discussions go on during meetings between the members of the Black Ajah? Just read below.

 

The Black Ajah meets in the Tower…

 

Alviarin : Welcome to the monthly High Council meeting. May the Great Lord always be revered.

 

All : *chants*

 

Alviarin : Before I begin, I want to know if I have anything on my head?

 

Talene : Yes, I see it!

 

Alviarin : GAH! You do!

 

Talene : Yes… it’s…. hair.

 

All : *laughs*

 

Alviarin : I meant on my forehead you frivolous Green! Well? Does anyone see anything?

 

Liandrin : I see a pimple which needs a good squeeze.

 

Alviarin : Argh…nevermind! What news of the North?

 

Galina : You always say that Liandrin, and I’m convinced it’s just because you want to sound cool.

 

Careane : I agree.

 

Alviarin : Answer my question. You all forget yourselves. In case you have all forgotten, the Great Master Ishamael named me First Witch.

 

Galina : Well try not to get ahead of yourself. I have been Primary Nightmare for over two decades, and that means I don’t stand too much lower than you.

 

Talene : However, for clarity … the Blight is silent.

 

Asne : I’m shocked.

 

Liandrin : In fact, I think if a dung beetle stirred its wings in the Blight it would be really big news for us.

 

Alviarin : That is blasphemy! Twenty years ago, the rest of the council would have linked and shielded someone who made such a declaration so openly, and then slowly tortured them over weeks until they died from starvation.

 

Galina : The good old days.

 

Temaile : How we have diminished since then. These days it actually requires a vote if one of us wishes to kill a Sister. The Chosen would vomit if they saw such compassion.

 

Galina : It’s time for us to reclaim our dignity. It’s time for us to become the titans of the One Power we once were. It’s time for us to resume our places of fear which we sat in the War of Power. I … vote for a move to smother defenseless Sisters in their sleep.

 

Alviarin : Tempting, but no. Great Mistress Mesaana has informed me of her plans for the Tower which will not be interrupted by Sitters who are too bored to enjoy corrupting the ajahs.

 

Asne : Mesaana!? Light!

 

All : *gasp*

 

Asne : I mean…. Great Mistress Mesaana! Light!

 

All : *GASP*

 

Asne : What?

 

Eldrith : You said…. Light.

 

Asne : I’ve told you all before… Dark sounds stupid as an exclamation.

 

Galina : We practiced this a hundred times at the last meeting and everyone was comfortable with it.

 

Eldrith : Dark!

 

Galina : On second thought…

 

Asne : Thank you.

 

Alviarin : In other news, the Amyrlin is up to something.

 

Temaile : You always say that the Amyrlin is up something.

 

Alviarin : It’s true this time, I swear. Hear me out. Two days ago she said she was going to sign an order to arrest some criminals in the North of the city. As she reached to sign the declaration she bumped the ink jar and it smeared the page. The message was clear for me…. North…. Black ink. She’s planning to purge the Black Ajah.

 

All : *silence* 

 

Temaile : I’ll give you this, it’s better than the story surrounding the wagon and the raven.

 

Alviarin : That was a legitimate deduction!

 

Galina : Or the white dress and the full moon.

 

Alviarin : I… I….

 

Temaile : Does anyone else have anything to add?

 

Eldrith : Yes, I had a dream. I was lying in bed and suddenly these strong arms gripped me….

 

Talene : I dreamed that too! And his strong arms caressed my….

 

Eldrith : *cough* As I was saying, the Great Master Be’lal pulled me into Tel’aran’rhiod.

 

All : Oooooo

 

Asne : What did he say?

 

Eldrith : He forbade me to say.

 

Galina : Then why did you raise the point!!?

 

Eldrith : To prove that I’m cool and that the Forsaken choose me as a contact.

 

Alviarin : Dark!

 

Galina : I apologize Asne. It sounds far worse than I ever believed possible.

 

Asne : Thank you, Galina. Now if we could get rid of these black dresses we wear at meetings as well as these hideous feathered black masks, we might actually be taken seriously.

 

Eldrith : I agree.

 

Alviarin : I’ll consider it. But under no circumstances are we removing the sacrificial cow from the centre alter.

 

All : Oh yes, we agree.. Yes…

 

Talene : The novices and Accepted?

 

Alviarin : Ah yes. There are thirteen new novices. Only three will make the shawl, and two of those bake cookies three times a week. The other one has black pajamas and chants in a zombie like fashion late at night.

 

Galina : I hate extremists.

 

Temaile : The cookie girls might be dark. I made cookies when I was a girl.

 

Eldrith : You poisoned a whole town with your cookies. There is a difference.

 

Galina : Just so. Let’s go for the one who dresses in black. Either she is dark, or she’s looking for attention. Both suit me.

 

Talene : Yes, I’ll arrange it. If she doesn’t want to turn, should I kill her or turn her against her will?

 

Alviarin : Still her, and then drown her in a bowl of strawberry jam.

 

Talene : Why?

 

Alviarin : Everyone will assume the Reds killed her. That will cause dissension. 

 

Galina : Trust me when I say that no one will make that connection.

 

Asne : Quite. I would like to raise a concern I have regarding the Black Oaths.

 

All : Yes?

 

Asne : Is it really necessary to have twenty-six?

 

Alviarin : We admire secrecy, Asne. You should know this. Why would you complain after all these years?

 

Asne : Well, I have been wearing them for over a hundred years. They used to be really heavy, and more than one Sister has been squashed before she reached the twentieth swearing. And…. I just don’t see the need for an oath swearing not to run around the Tower in black sheets screaming obscenities.

 

Galina : Are you joking? That’s an essential Oath!

 

Eldrith : It’s because of Chesmal that the Oath was made. She nearly unveiled us. Luckily the novices thought she was a bat, and the intelligent ones thought she was a draghkar. Either way, it was a close thing.

 

Alviarin : The Oath stays – as does the Oath regarding black ink and the West Fountain.

 

Galina : I agree. Are we adjourned?

 

Alviarin : Go with the Darkness, my Sisters. One day we will have…

 

All : Immortality.

 

Alviarin : But first we must …

 

All : be loyal to the Great Lord.

 

Alviarin : And kill…

 

All : The Dragon Reborn, and one another if the opportunity presents.

 

Alviarin : Adjourned

 

 

(Source)



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