"ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING, ISHAMAEL?"

"Sure thing, oh Great Lord of the Dark, but even if we could find the tutus in their size, I'm not sure we could teach the Trollocs to do ballet."

Greetings, and welcome to the mad ramblings of a lucid man or, perhaps, the sane ramblings of a mad man. It can be so hard to tell at times. My name here is Ireond, and this is "The Lighter Side of the Taint", a wellspring of jokes, songs, twisted poetry, and humorous reflections that are derived from looking at the world of The Wheel of Time with a mind as twisted as a Trolloc horn.

I will try to make most of the references and jokes understandable to as many of you readers as possible. I will also attempt, as far as spoilers go, to label any joke that I do with a spoiler tag. That being said, if you don't get the joke, it's either a prime example of why someone like me shouldn't channel tainted saidin, or you just haven't reached the point in the books where the punchline comes in. For example:

"I hear that a male channeler from the Aiel has a Blight future ahead of him."

Just keep in mind that I think phonetically, so some of my jokes are better said aloud, preferably in large groups of people so that they all look at you as if you have a voice from another Age talking to you in your head.

So, in parting this week, some haiku:

The Dark One's own luck

roll the dice merry Matrim

your fate is still sealed

Oily is the taint

Rainbow colors on soul's fire

The world is remade

Trollocs are dancing

Twirling like a tornado

The tutus do fit