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Gleeman's Tales: "Royals" parody

Meghan Rayburn

After the #justwheeloftimethings post last time, I couldn't help but read off the list as if I were singing the song "Royals" by Lorde, so I decided to write some lyrics!


For your enjoyment, a parody song entitled "Wheel of Time Things."


Verse 1:
I’ve never seen Randland in the flesh 
Cut my teeth on 14 books (but still no movie)
The wheel of time turns
And ages come and pass, leaving memories…
The Wheel of Time is like 
Smooth skirts, Darkfriends, chasing the Forsaken
Aes Sedai, braid tugging, blank expressions
Egwene don’t care; she’ll spy on you in your dreams
And Wheel of Time is like
Sul’dam, angreal, Daes Dae’mar
Ta’veren, tel’aran’rhiod, saidin, saidar
We don’t care; we are caught up in a love affair
Just Wheel of Time things (Wheel of Time things)
This series runs in our blood
The Dragon battles The Dark One
While romancing more than one woman
It’s just Wheel of Time things (Wheel of Time things)
You can call me Empress
JK I’m an Aes Sedai (Aes Sedai, Aes Sedai, Aes Sedai)
The Seanchan are the worst
Verse 2:
Folding your arms beneath your breasts
Draghkar, Myrrdraal, Trollocs, Gray Men, and Darkhounds
And everyone in Randland knows
That men are woolheads
And women are impossible
Rand’s got Lews Therin in his head
And Mat’s got memories from the dead
Nynaeve battles Moghedien
And wolves are talking to Perrin
I hope you have enjoyed my little attempt at songwriting. The Light illumine you; have a great week!

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