After the Goldrush Repost

[Elyssa]

The dispute with the miners in the foothills of the Mountains of Mist had been resolved, and the party of Aes Sedai had begun to head back to Tar Valon. They stopped and spent the night in Baerlon, although Dafydd was far from happy at the prospect of spending any time at all in the area where he'd grown up. Everywhere he went seemed flooded with memories, and painful ones at that. He had been very young when he was sent to live with his uncle out in the country, but the smells and sounds of Baerlon were as familiar to him as if he'd left yesterday. They were the same smells and sounds of any town really, especially in this part of the world, but something about knowing where he was made it seem different.

 

Elyssa had sensed his unease through the bond, he knew that much, and it was clear in the way she'd been asking him how he was, how he was feeling, what he was thinking about. He had brushed it off. There were no oaths of truth for a Warder to have to work around, and although he hadn't been happy about lying to Elyssa - or being economical with the truth, at least - he had felt that it was better if he kept these particular thoughts to himself. He had never told her much about his past, only that it wasn't happy, and that it was all behind him. Sasra Sedai knew a little more, although only a little, and he suspected that Elyssa had asked her.

 

One night in Baerlon had been enough. He didn't know if his parents were still living here, or even still alive, but he hadn't wanted to find out. He managed to persuade Elyssa to remain in the inn, so there was less chance of him accidentally bumping into them if they were still here, but by morning he was more than ready to move on. His relief at the prospect of leaving was shattered when she told him over a breakfast of fresh bread and boiled ham that they weren't going back to Tar Valon with the others. She claimed that she wanted to visit some of the smaller villages in the area, to see if there was any help that people needed of the White Tower. He tried remonstrating with her, using every excuse he could think of. He told her people in this area were wary of Aes Sedai, and would be unlikely to accept any help for fear of strings that might be attached. He told her that the area was dangerous - trying to give her the impression that it was bandit country and that even he would be hard pressed to guarantee her safety. None of what he said had any impact on her whatsoever - inside he had known that trying to change her mind once it was made up was futile.

 

Once the others had left them, Dafydd readied their horses - he wouldn't let the stable boy touch Elyssa's horse, and his horse wouldn't let anybody else touch it, and just as he was finishing, Elyssa appeared in the stables with impeccable timing.

With a bit of luck we'll ride North, Dafydd thought.

"I am told that the poorest villages are to the South.", Elyssa announced as Dafydd held her horse for her to mount.

 

He groaned, and grimaced as he mounted his own horse, and rode slightly ahead of her towards the edge of Baerlon. The South edge.

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Gaidin to Elyssa Lliet.

 

Once the dispute with the miners was finished they headed back to Tar Valon. They stopped at an inn in Baerlon and Ely could tell that something was wrong with Dafydd. He didn't seem to want to stay there and tried to talk Ely out of it. Ely wasn't about to try and ride to the next town at that time of night. Besides she wanted some time to think on what she would say when she brought up Dafydd's past again.

 

The next day as they were all getting ready to leave Ely went to talk with Dafydd. She wanted to let him know that they would not be returning with the rest of the group. Ely wanted to stay and see some of the smaller villages here and see if there was anything they needed of the Tower. Besides it would give her another chance to train without anyone watching and knowing what she was doing. It would also give her the chance to talk with Dafydd on her own. Dafydd tried to get her to change her mind but she had already decided and it was useless to ask.

 

After saying her goodbyes to her friends Ely went to get her horse. Dafydd was taking care of her. He never let anyone else touch her. Ely liked that though she always knew she would be taken care of and nothing would ever be missed.

 

Ely smiled at Dafydd she could tell he was wishing she would change her mind or go the way he wanted her to. "I am told that the poorest villages are to the South." Ely announce as she mounted her horse. Ely could tell not only from the sounds and the face he had made that he didn't like the idea.

 

As they rode out of the city and onto the path they would follow for some time Ely began to think of what to ask Dafydd. She had talked to Sasra a bit when having her hair fixed. She couldn't help but think of her hair it was almost all gone. Dafydd had saved as much as he could and Sasra had done the same but it was so uneven not much of it was left. Or at least that's how Ely saw it. Sasra had told her that Dafydd had been running around with brigands when she first came across him and she had trusted him and seen the good in him. She had helped him hoping that he would some day make something of himself and he did. Ely was glad he had run into Sasra when he did. The only thing she couldn't understand is why Dafydd had been with those men. Why hadn't he been with his parents or someone else in his family?

 

As they stopped near a small wood for lunch Ely looked to Dafydd. " I have been wondering ever since I talked with Sasra Sedai while she was fixing my hair," Ely said with a small frown when she mentioned her hair." She told me how you first met her and I was wondering why you weren't at home where some one your age would have been at the time?" Ely wasn't trying to be nosy but she knew Dafydd felt uncomfortable being here. She just wanted to know so she could better understand him.

 

Elyssa Lliet

Blue Sister

Bonded to Dafydd Gaidin

 

They rode through the morning barely speaking, Dafydd remaining ever-vigilant, searching the woods either side of the path for non-existent bandits. He had lied to her, of course, and he wasn't proud of that. This area was perfectly safe - even if there were people who might be hostile to a lady travelling with her guard, there enough things that would mark Elyssa and Dafydd out as Aes Sedai and her Warder, and they would most likely be welcomed and respected by many, and given a wide berth by a few others.

 

The sun was high overhead, and as they were approaching a clearing, Dafydd decided it was the best time to stop for a break. He dismounted and then held Elyssa's mare so that she could climb down from the saddle, and as he was tying both horses to a low branch where they could enjoy some long grass he heard Elyssa ask him the kind of question he had been dreading hearing.

 

He pretended he hadn't heard, finished tying the horses, and then, as he unhitched a small bow and a few arrows from the back of his horse said, "I shall go and catch us some meat to cook later on.".

 

As he turned to stalk off through the woods, she asked him again, this time more insistently, and a little louder. Was that some trick with the One Power? He neither knew, nor cared - either way he couldn't pretend to have not heard her. He quickly formed a flame in his mind, and fed all his emotions into it, his frustration, his anger, his fear, all disappeared into the flame. His conscience suspended in the void, he turned to Elyssa, his stare level, his voice cool and flat.

 

"That boy that Sasra Sedai told you about, the one who was wicked - he died. He died that day as surely as if she hadn't stayed her Warder's hand. That boy lives no longer. Sasra Sedai gave that boy a new life. That Dafydd Llewellun no longer exists. I don't know him, and I never did. He is not me. NOT me. I am NOT that boy."

 

Had it not been for the void, his voice might have betrayed his emotions, his hands might've been shaking with frustration and restraint. He had shut the past away, pretended it hadn't happened, didn't exist.

 

"Know this man, Elyssa Sedai. Know this man, and forget that boy."

 

He wrapped his colour-shifting cloak around himself and turned away from Elyssa, melting into the wood with his bow to search for rabbits.

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Gaidin to Elyssa Sedai

 

 

 

 

 

"That boy that Sasra Sedai told you about, the one who was wicked - he died. He died that day as surely as if she hadn't stayed her Warder's hand. That boy lives no longer. Sasra Sedai gave that boy a new life. That Dafydd Llewellun no longer exists. I don't know him, and I never did. He is not me. NOT me. I am NOT that boy." Ely was taken aback. Dafydd had never spoken to her this way before. "Know this man, Elyssa Sedai. Know this man, and forget that boy."

 

With that he left to go hunt for some lunch. Ely wanted to cry all she was doing was trying to get to know him and his past. She wanted to know why he was so reluctant to continue on the journey. She would have to talk with him and try and get him to remain calm.

 

Dafydd came back and started a fire to prepare the rabbits he had caught. Ely looked at him for awhile then approached him. " Dafydd, I was not trying to upset you earlier. I just wanted to find out more about you and find out why you don't want to be here in this place. I really just want to know you." Ely was on the verge of crying. " I want to know who you were and who you are now. Otherwise I will never fully know you." With that Ely went to sit by herself and think. She would give him time to think about what she had just said.

 

 

Elyssa Lliet

Blue Sister

Bonded to Dafydd Gaidin

Mentor to Lavinya and Vera

 

 

 

 

 

Dafydd could feel Elyssa's emotions through the bond. A mixture of emotions, really, nothing definable. He left her to be by herself while he got the rabbits that he had caught cooking properly over the fire, and then brewed some tea in their small pot. Pouring two cups, he took them over to where she sat, and squatted on his heels in front of her, holding one of the cups out for her to take. She smiled as she took the hot cup from him, but he could see through the calm Aes Sedai mask that she and all her sisters always wore.

 

"You are tired, Elyssa Sedai.", his voice was softer now, "You try to do too much. You cannot help everybody, no matter how much you may want to. You must settle for that fact, and do what you can for those who need you. If you try to help everyone, you will only end up hurting them. If a farmer only has a little water, and tries to use it for too many crops, all the crops die, but if he waters what crops he can, they will live."

She nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger on her lips.

"Somebody once told me that you shouldn't ask questions, because then you have to hear the answer. But since you have asked, I shall tell you as much as you need to know about me."

 

Still squatting on his heels, he took a deep breath, and a sip from his tea.

 

"Sasra Sedai cannot have told you everything about me, because she does not know. She knows that for a time I travelled with some outlaws, and while I was with them, I did things that I am not proud of. I never hurt anyone, not badly anyway, but I stole, and I helped the others to steal, and I know that was wrong. But they were the first people to show me any kindness. I was born in Baerlon, but that is not where I grew up. When I was very young I was sent to my uncle Owayn's farm to be brought up by him and my aunt. They mistreated me. They worked me harder than a slave, and my uncle used to beat me. Daily. My aunt never really hurt me, but she never did anything to help. I used to run away, but I always somehow ended up back there, and my uncle would just beat me all over again. I never raised a hand against him, I don't know why, but I never did."

 

He paused, looking off into the woods, as he took another sip of tea.

 

"One day I did run away properly. I'd made myself a shelter in the hills about a day and a half from the farm, and I stayed there for a week, before moving on. I didn't go back that time though, I went East, avoiding Baerlon, and found an abandoned huntsman's lodge by a lake. It was nice, peaceful, I felt like I could live there, so I stayed. Three weeks I lived there, living on rabbits and fish and what I could dig up, until the outlaws found me. I thought they would kill me, or worse, take me back to the farm, but they didn't. They took me in, they taught me to use a staff properly, and how not to cut my own feet off with a sword. They were kind, in their own way, and although they stole, they never killed anyone, and they never stole from poor ordinary folks."

 

Another pause, and another sip of tea.

 

"Then they got greedy. One of them knew a man who crewed on riverboats, who'd said something about a rich lady with a guard and a servant travelling South. he drugged their meal one night while the boat was moored, and we kidnapped the lady and her servant, and two of the others beat the guard and left him behind. They beat him badly, but I couldn't stop them. I didn't like any of it, it was wrong to kidnap a lady. It was wrong to kidnap anybody. On the first night the servant girl got away, and I persuaded the others not to bother looking for her. I hoped she'd find the guard, or get help. I made sure the lady had food - I gave her mine, and water too. She thanked me, and said she'd remember my kindness. Of course, you know that it was Sasra Sedai, and when Urien came to rescue her, they killed every man between. Urien would've killed me too, but she stopped him.", he allowed himself a wistful smile, "She may look like a lady, but she can fight. I watched her nearly knock old Lars' head clean off his shoulders with her bare hands. I never saw a woman use a sword til then either. Not properly, at least."

 

Elyssa didn't speak, she just looked at him. He could feel her through the bond, but he couldn't make out what she was feeling or thinking.

 

"You know the rest." he said simply, "That boy is dead now. I am Dafydd Llewellun. I am your warder. That is who I am, I don't need to be anything else."

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Gaidin to Elyssa Lliet of the Blue Ajah.

 

 

 

 

 

"You are tired, Elyssa Sedai.", his voice was softer now, "You try to do too much. You cannot help everybody, no matter how much you may want to. You must settle for that fact, and do what you can for those who need you. If you try to help everyone, you will only end up hurting them. If a farmer only has a little water, and tries to use it for too many crops, all the crops die, but if he waters what crops he can, they will live."

Ely nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger on her lips.

"Somebody once told me that you shouldn't ask questions, because then you have to hear the answer. But since you have asked, I shall tell you as much as you need to know about me." Ely listened as he talked. She never knew just how bad his life had been before he had come to the Tower. If it hadn't been for Sasra Sedai who knows where he would be right now. Just thinking about it saddened her. As Daffyd finished his story, a tear ran down her cheek.

 

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that." Ely didn't know exactly what she could say to him. "If I had known you had been though so much then I wouldn't have asked you to come on this trip with me." Ely felt horrible for him knowing that she was the one who had brought all of this up again.

 

"I will understand if you don't want to continue on this journey." In her heart Ely hoped that he could face his past and continue on. Ely looked at Daffydand smiled. "I just want you to know that the man you turned out to be is a wonderful man and I am glad you chose the path you did." Ely knew she sounded sappy but didn't care. "The past is in the past though, we must continue on in the present and make the future better than we could imagine."

 

With that Ely began to eat the dinner Daffyd had prepared. He alwayswas a pretty good cook. She hoped they would continue in the direction they had been going in but she wouldn't force Daffyd to do something he didn't want to do. She was just glad to have him with her no matter where they were.

 

Elyssa Lliet

Blue Sister

Bonded to Daffyd Gaidin

Mentor to Vera

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he finished speaking, a single tear began to slide down Elyssa's cheek. He cupped her face softly in his hand and wiped it away with his thumb. He rose, and picked up a plate with some of the cooked chicken and root vegetables on it. She began to pick at the food as he took some from the pot for his own plate. He had his back to her when she spoke again.

 

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. If I had known you had been though so much then I wouldn't have asked you to come on this trip with me."

He ignored her - he could feel some of what she was feeling through the bond, and it was wrong. It wasn't her fault that he had such an awful childhood, if it could be called a childhood, and yet she still seemed to believe that somehow she could make it all go away.

 

"I will understand if you don't want to continue on this journey. The past is in the past though, we must continue on in the present and make the future better than we could imagine."

Dafydd dropped his plate and turned around.

"Why must you always try to help everybody with everything?", he snapped, "Why can't you accept that there are some things that you cannot change? What's done is done, what's past is past, you can't change it, you can't make it to have not happened. Stop trying to do too much, Elyssa. Change what you can, and forget about what you can't. If you try to chase two rabbits, you won't catch either of them."

 

She looked taken aback, and perhaps a little crestfallen at his outburst, and he realised straight away that he had been unfair to her. He softened his voice a little.

"You didn't have to ask me to come on this trip. I'm your Warder, where you go, I go, you have never needed to ask me, and you never will. I'm going to make a circuit of the perimeter, if you're going to set any of your wards, you'd best do it while I'm gone."

 

He left the plate of spilled food on the ground, and set off into the woods. Once he was away from where they were camped his hand went to the bracelet he was wearing concealed under his sleeve. He'd had it made in Baerlon - from some of her hair, woven through with silver thread, and a single steel wire. The bright steel symbolised her strength. He knew that women didn't get to become Aes Sedai unless they were strong, inside and out. He hoped she could remember that too.

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Gaidin to Elyssa Lliet

 

[/i]

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why must you always try to help everybody with everything?", he snapped, "Why can't you accept that there are some things that you cannot change? What's done is done, what's past is past, you can't change it, you can't make it to have not happened. Stop trying to do too much, Elyssa. Change what you can, and forget about what you can't. If you try to chase two rabbits, you won't catch either of them." Ely just sat and looked at Dafydd. He had been so sweet when he wiped the tear from her cheek. Then in the blink of an eye he'd changed. He'd become angry with her. She didn't think she had done anything or said anything to upset him. She was only trying to reassure him that she cared for what he thought and felt.

 

"You didn't have to ask me to come on this trip. I'm your Warder, where you go, I go, you have never needed to ask me, and you never will. I'm going to make a circuit of the perimeter, if you're going to set any of your wards, you'd best do it while I'm gone." Ely watched him leave. She was heartbroken that he felt the way he did. She didn't want him to feel the heartbreak that he had made in her heart so she blocked her feelings from him the best she could.

 

Dafydd had left leaving the plate of food where it had landed. She refused to clean it up. In her mind she had done nothing to deserve this outburst. Ely sat and tried to embrace the source to set her wards around the camp. She had felt it and it just slipped from her mind. Wiping the tears from her eyes she tried again and failed.

 

Ely could not understand what was going on. She had never failed to reach the source. She had just gained the shawl. There was no way this was happening to her. It was all his fault. He was the only person she could not keep her emotions under control around. He had seen her at her weakest and knew how emotional she could get. " I swear he does this just to make me cry." Ely thought as she tried to embrace the source again with no luck.

 

Ely went back to her lessons as a novice. She tried to imagine a rose bud with the morning sun shining on it to open it's petals but all she saw was an overcast sky. The bud refused to open. Frustrated and getting angry Ely was devastated. What if she could never touch Saidar again. What is she could never feel that sweet, sweet nectar. Just the thought made her cry. She felt as though her heart had been ripped from her chest and stepped on.

 

Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse Dafydd came back to the camp. Ely did not have the time to compose herself and knew she wouldn't be able to if she tried. She did not want to tell him what had happened. She didn't even want to look at him. As he got closer Ely looked at the fire. She wiped her eyes as best she could but she knew they were puffy and swollen from all the crying. Since she couldn't embrace Saidar she couldn't make herself appear to look better. She knew he could tell she was upset.

 

Dafydd started to say something but Ely stood and walked to her horse. Patting his nose she looked him in the eyes. When she thought it was safe she went to her bed roll and prepared herself for bed. Ely brushed her now short hair. Just thinking about that day set her off in tears once more. She had lost all of her beautiful red hair that she had worked so long for.

 

Ely dropped her brush and let her head fall into her hands. All she ever wanted to do was help. She never meant for anything bad to happen. Now everything was falling apart. She had held her feelings in for so long she couldn't do it anymore. She let everything go, starting with the death of her family. That was the one thing she had never truly let herself cry about. All she wanted to do for the rest of her life, however long that was to be, was cry. And that's all she was going to do if she had her way.

 

Ely could hear Dafydd walking towards her. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. She cried like she had never cried before in her whole life and she didn't plan to stop. Ely could feel Dafydd behind her but she didn't turn around. She didn't want to face him right now. She was ashamed that after so many years spent training with the power that something as stupid as a fight with her warder could bring her to this.

 

Dafydd had been with her since she was an accepted. They had been through so much together. She knew he was hurting from bringing up the past. He had blocked his childhood from memory and she had forced him to bring it all back up. She had not meant to make him hurt so bad. All she was trying to do was learn who he was. She knew the man he was today but she needed to know the boy he used to be.

 

Turning to face Dafydd Ely was still in tears. She looked up at him but could not focus on his face. She couldn't even feel him through the bond she was so upset. Releasing the block she had put between them, she let all her thoughts and feelings flow towards him. She knew it would be a lot to take in at once. She only hoped he could handle it.

 

"How could I have let myself get this way?" Ely asked Dafydd through sobs. " Dafydd, I never meant to hurt you or make you angry. I only wanted to know who you were. You've been so sidtracked these past few weeks I was worried about you. I knew you had grown up around here and I needed to know if you were okay.I know I don't need to ask you to come with me, but I choose to ask you. I do not want to go somewhere you don't feel comfortable. I could never force you to go on. If you say you do not want to continue, we will go back to our lives in Tar Valon."

 

As Ely finished with what she wanted to say her tears slowed. She was still upset but she was out of tears. When she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand she noticed a glint of silver under Dafydd's sleeve. She had never seen him wear a bracelot before, but she knew he would tell her when he was ready. "I am sorry Dafydd, I did not mean to get this way. It's just that when you left I tried to set wards and I was so flustered and upset that I failed to embrace Saidar. That is what made me so miserable. I felt as though my life had no meaning anymore." Ely let her head hang down and waited for Dafydd to speak.

 

 

Elyssay Lliet

Blue sister

Bonded to Dafydd Gaidin

Mentor to Vera

 

 

 

 

 

Dafydd made three circuits of their camp - he was satisfied after the first that they were safe, but he made the other two to clear his head. He had been unfair to Elyssa, she had only been thinking of him, and she meant well. He absent-mindedly stroked the bracelet again. How strong could he expect her to be? He gave one final check of the most obvious approach to the clearing where they were camped, and then returned slowly, to apologise to her. He felt for her through the bond, but it was hazy, he thought he could sense her sadness, or possibly frustration, but her feelings were terribly indistinct. That worried him, and by the time he arrived at the clearing he was running.

 

He asked her if everything was alright, but she simply turned her back on him and walked to her horse. When she had checked that he was fine and secured for the night, she prepared her bedroll and brushed out what was left of her hair. It was a lot neater than it had been after he'd had to butcher it with a dagger - Sasra Sedai had seen to that, and the short version of her hair was actually quite becoming. It suited her face. As she started to brush it, however, with Dafydd watching carefully from the other side of the small fire, she dissolved into tears. Dafydd didn't even bother to go around the fire - he leaped over it and was at her side in a heartbeat.

 

The full force of her emotions hit him like a practise sword to the chest as she turned and looked at him.

"How could I have let myself get this way?" she bawled, "I never meant to hurt you or make you angry...". Everything came rushng out all at once, how she didn't mean to make him unhappy, how she didn't want to make him go anywhere he didn't want to go, how she'd go back to Tar Valon if he wanted, and worst of all, how she'd failed to be able to use the One Power to do something as simple as setting wards.

 

He knelt beside her, and took her hands in his.

"It is I who is sorry.", he said, "I know you are strong, no woman is allowed to wear the shawl of Aes Sedai unless she is strong. I should never doubt you. I have allowed my own feelings to interfere with your work, and that is wrong. It is not for me to question where you must go, it is for me to protect you when you go there. What if the White Tower required you to go somewhere and I refused - would you go alone, or would you refuse a mission?",

He paused, and she said nothing, so after a moment he carried on.

"That's right, you would go, and I would go with you. I am bound to you by duty, and by my choice, and I would follow you to the Dark One's kitchen if you decided to go."

He smiled with that, and she smiled back, her tears gone, but her face still streaked with them.

 

"Now, I've been around the camp three times, and I think we should be safe, but I'll stay awake and keep watch. You should sleep now, the world will look better in the morning. And then we'll carry on with your work, and go wherever you need to go."

 

He wiped her face with the edge of his cloak as she settled down into the bedroll, and then settled back against a tree to keep watch as she drifted to sleep.

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Gaidin to Elyssa Lliet

 

 

 

 

 

As Dafydd took her hands in his she could feel the bracelot he was wearing. She could tell that some of it was metal, but the other part felt like fur or something. This puzzled her and now she really wanted to know what it was. "It is I who is sorry.", he said, "I know you are strong, no woman is allowed to wear the shawl of Aes Sedai unless she is strong. I should never doubt you. I have allowed my own feelings to interfere with your work, and that is wrong. It is not for me to question where you must go, it is for me to protect you when you go there. What if the White Tower required you to go somewhere and I refused - would you go alone, or would you refuse a mission?" Ely was shocked at what he was saying. She could not find her voice to reply to him.

 

"That's right, you would go, and I would go with you. I am bound to you by duty, and by my choice, and I would follow you to the Dark One's kitchen if you decided to go."

He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. He always did have a way of making her feel better when she was upset. She still had tears on her cheeks and in her eyes but she no longer felt the need to cry.

 

"Now, I've been around the camp three times, and I think we should be safe, but I'll stay awake and keep watch. You should sleep now, the world will look better in the morning. And then we'll carry on with your work, and go wherever you need to go." With that he wiped the tears from her cheeks and she rolled into her bedroll and drifted off to sleep.

 

Her sleep was soon interupted by dreams and they weren't good ones. She was in the Tower preparing to teach a lesson on the one power to some new novices and she couldn't reach the source. The novices all looked at her with expectation and wonder. How was she to teach them if she herself couldn't touch the source. The dream shifted and she was in a battle and Dafydd was in trouble. She could tell he needed her help and he needed it now. She tried reaching for the source and she couldn't find it. She couldn't help her warder when he most needed it.

 

She tossed and turned in her bed all night. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Every dream was the same, yet different. Every dream was about her inability to reach the source. Finally after what seemed like years she woke to find Dafydd right next to her a worried look on his face. The sun was almost up and she knew he'd been watching her. She fell into his arms and sobbed while telling him what the dreams were about.

 

Dafydd reassured her that they were only dreams and suggested that she try again. Ely reached for the source and the feeling was exhilerating. She had a smile on her face that reached from ear to ear. Dafydd could tell she was exstatic. She looked up at him and smiled again. "Thank you for what you said last night. I needed to be reassured. I really only want to do what is right and I feel that continuing on is the right thing." As she talked she could smell something cooking over the fire, she wasn't sure when Dafydd had gone hunting but she was glad he did. Those dreams the night before had left her with an empty feeling and she was starving.

 

After they finished eating Ely helped Dafydd pack up their camp and they headed off in the direction they had been going. Dafydd still seemed preoccupied but he also seemed happier than he had been the last couple of weeks. Ely was glad he wasn't so worried about what was going to happen. She was sure they would never run into anyone he knew from his childhood.

 

They rode all day talking and laughing as they went. The mood was certainly much lighter than it had been. Finally they came to a town and found a room in an Inn. Ely was glad to finally have a bed to sleep in. Dafydd always made sure their campsites were comfortable but she still longed for a nice bed.

 

Once they were finishe putting their things away and getting cleaned up they headed for the common room. There was someone there playing a harp and singing. Ely was glad for the music it made her spirit even more light than it already was. She could tell that Dafydd was a bit more relaxed but he still seemed on edge.

 

They ordered their drinks and food and watched the harp player. As Ely was just getting comfortable some men walked through the door and started talking loudly. You couldn't hear the harp player over them and Ely was starting to get upset. Dafydd could feel this and he looked over his should to see who was making all the noise. Ely could tell he wasn't very happy with what he saw. What happened next scared Ely and before she could do anything it seemed like she had lost control.

 

OOC: I figured we could get on with the plan. Here's your chance to get really angry.

Elyssa Lliet

Blue Sister

Bonded to Dafydd Gaidin

 

 

 

 

 

Despite Dafydd’s protests, Elyssa insisted that they head further South. He tried to cover his agitation by being more vigilant in his guarding than usual, but he knew that sooner or later she would feel his concern through the bond and ask him what was troubling him. Luckily, he wasn’t bound by the same oaths as she was, only by a duty to protect her, so when she eventually did ask him, he lied, and told her that the country they were in was not safe.

“You’re not on the streets of Tar Valon now, Elyssa Sedai.â€, he said sternly, “and the One Power cannot protect you from an arrow in the back.â€

“You can though.â€, she said with a smile, “Nobody knows this land like you, and I have every faith in you.â€

 

He hadn’t liked lying to her, but as a benefit she had been more wary, which was always a good thing. And she had been right about him knowing the land well – this had been the area he had roamed freely on those occasions when he had run away from his uncle. The track the followed passed within throwing distance of the place where he’d built the tiny shack that he’d sheltered in some of the times - often for up to a week – and he made one of his guarding circuits to get close enough to see it. There were remains of a fairly recent fire, probably a week or so old, so the shack was still being used occasionally. Dafydd figured it was probably someone travelling through the countryside taking shelter there for the night.

 

The sun was getting low in the sky as they began to near a small village. Dafydd felt a deep sense of foreboding – it was the nearest village to his uncle’s farm. He had been increasingly edgy, but had fended off any questions from Elyssa by claiming to be tired, she seemed to accept his excuse. He found a suitable site for them to make camp for the night, but Elyssa was determined to see if the village had an inn.

“You shouldn’t let anybody know that you’re Aes Sedai.â€, he said, “I’ll talk to the innkeeper.â€

Elyssa nodded, and took off her Great Serpent ring, placing it in the small pouch that she kept hidden for such situations, and then followed Dafydd into the village.

 

The inn was easy to find – every village in this area, and probably every other area too, was the same – a small collection of small houses, mostly with thatched or wooden roofs, clustered around the village inn, which was usually a larger building, often two storeys. This village was no exception, and unlike the small wooden houses, the inn had a stone-built ground floor, and a tiled roof. There was a merchant’s wagon parked outside, and a small group of local women were gathered around it, examining the items the merchant, a jolly-faced slightly overweight man in his middle years. Dafydd dismounted and looked around as he helped Elyssa from her horse – something about this village was too familiar. It must be his imagination, there had to be a dozen or more villages like this in a twenty-mile radius of here. Just because he knew he was in the same area where he had spent so many miserable years as a child, there was nothing to say that this was the village nearest to his uncle’s farm. Just his mind playing tricks.

 

A small boy ran into the inn, and emerged with the innkeeper who had an apologetic expression on his face. Dafydd walked around his horse to approach him as he began to speak.

“I’m sorry sir, we don’t have any…. Oh. Forgive me sir. I’m sure I can find you some rooms if you would allow me a small amount of time. Perhaps you would care to take a meal while you wait?â€

Dafydd cocked his head to one side, looking the man up and down.

“I thought you sounded like you were about to tell me that you didn’t have any rooms.â€, he said, quizzically.

“I was sir, but I was mistaken. I can find rooms for people of your standing sir.â€, he forced a smile and turned back towards the inn, “Dai? Dai? Where are you boy? Get out here and see to these horses!â€

“People of our standing?â€, Dafydd raised an eyebrow, “We are not royalty, just a lady and her guard. You are right about the meal, however, my lady Renna and I are both hungry.â€

“Your lady? Oh sir, I’m sorry. I thought you were a…. By the way you moved sir, I mean I thought you and your lady might be…. I mean…â€, he seemed to be wrestling with an internal dilemma, and swallowed hard every few words. Finally he leaned in close to Dafydd – no mean feat, as Dafydd had a height advantage – and whispered to him. “I’ve seen warders before, sir, and Aes Sedai are always welcome at this inn.â€

“You flatter me, innkeeper,â€, Dafydd said, stepping back, “As I said, the lady Renna and I will take a meal, and if you can find a room for us we will be most grateful. One room will suffice, I shall sleep on the floor, or with the horses.â€

“Right you are sir.â€, the man nodded with a wink, and turned back to the inn. “Dai? Where are you? Evan! Fetch Dai and tell him to see to these horses before I take a stick to him!â€

 

Dafydd patted his horse and whispered soothingly to him as the stable boy approached. The animal refused to let anybody other than Dafydd or the White Tower’s head stable-boy handle him unless Dafydd told him it was alright. This time there was no whinnying, kicking, rearing or biting. He went quietly with Elyssa’s horse and the stable boy, and so he and Elyssa, or the Lady Renna followed the innkeeper into the building. The innkeeper gave them both drinks, and then disappeared upstairs, calling for other people to help him, and returned ten minutes later to advise Dafydd that he had cleared a room for them, and had their things put up there already.

 

Elyssa was tired, from riding and sleeping under the stars, and Dafydd suggested she have a rest in the room, while he went for a walk around the village. It was difficult to tell if he was right - it had been a long time that he had been away, if indeed this was the village he thought it might be. If it was, it had changed a bit since he last saw it, but that was understandable, it had been a few years since he was here. As he strode around the place, looking for something that might jog his memory and confirm his suspicions, people stopped their conversations and watched him walk past. A small group of children followed him for a while, until he turned around and scowled at them, sending them scurrying back off to wherever they’d been playing. One group of people began muttering and whispering as he passed them, and he caught the word “Warderâ€.. Or did he? He was a stranger here, people were always suspicious of strangers, especially in this kind of rural backwater.

 

It was evening when he returned to the inn, and a few of the men who were gathered in the common room watched him as he walked through and went upstairs to wake Elyssa. He stood outside the room while she put her dress back on, and then went back in and laced the back for her. Soon, they were down in the common room, drinking and listening to the music. Dafydd was almost beginning to feel relaxed, until his ears picked up the unmistakable sound of a conversation beginning to turn into an argument. He was sitting sideways on to where the noise was coming from, but Elyssa was facing it, and he could see her frown as the noise of the argument increased. Initially, he had no intention of intervening, and sought the Void in order to shut it out, but that only focussed his attention on it, and once more he picked out the word “Warderâ€. That was enough. He left his seat in a heartbeat, and crossed the common room to where the men were. Keeping his voice to a low growl, he addressed them.

“If you must argue, take it outside, my lady and I would prefer to listen to the music and eat our meal in peace!â€

The men glared at him, and one of them looked as though he was about to mount a challenge, but Dafydd raised a single eyebrow, and the man clearly had second thoughts.

 

As he walked back to the table, Dafydd almost bumped into another man, and mumbled an apology as he swerved around him.

“Dafydd?†the man said, beginning to smile.

“You are mistakenâ€, Dafydd said, not turning back to face him.

“Are you sure?â€, the man said, clearly determined to pursue the point, “You look just like the Llewellun boy. Bigger, perhaps, but it’s been a few years.â€

“I said you are mistaken.â€, he replied, turning to the man and staring him in the eyes. He knew the face. It was the owner of the nearest farm to his uncle’s. He’d run there once, after a savage beating, run there praying to the Creator that the childless couple would save him, take him in, feed him, look after him, but they’d decided he must’ve been set upon by some kind of robbers, and sent for his aunt, who had come and collected him. They’d been his last hope, this man had been his hope of salvation, and he’d let him down.

“No,â€, the man said, “I’m sure of it. You’re the Llewellun boy. Bryn was lost without you when you ran away. Where did you go, and how long have you been back?â€

He wasn’t sure if it was desperation to shut the man up, or anger at the way the man had let him down when he needed help, but his hand moved like an arrow loosed from a bow, and he grabbed the man by the throat. Not squeezing, not enough to throttle him, but hard enough to make it clear that he could, if he wanted to.

“I said you are mistaken. I am not this runaway you think me to be.â€

He pushed the man back, then, and released his grip. The man fell against the bar, but kept himself upright, although the barman began to look concerned, casting his eyes back and forth across the common room to weigh the situation.

 

Dafydd simply returned to his seat, and said nothing.

“What was that all about?â€, Elyssa asked in a whisper.

“Someone mistook me for someone else. That’s all.â€, he replied quietly, over the top of his drink. He was about to say that perhaps they should tell the innkeeper that they would take their meal in their room, when the door to the common room opened and a man walked in.

 

“Bryn, Bryn, it’s Dafydd, he’s back.â€, he heard a voice say, and turned to see the newcomer.

 

And there, across the common room, not looking a day older than he had the last time Dafydd had seen him, was his uncle Bryn.

 

 

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Gaidin to Elyssa Lliet of the Blue Ajah.

 

 

 

 

 

Dafydd fought to retain his composure as he looked into the eyes of his uncle on the other side of the common room. The man didn’t seem to recognise him, he glanced briefly and then turned to some of the other men in the room.

“Bryn!â€, he heard one of the men call out, “Bryn, it’s that boy, Dafydd, he wasn’t killed after all, he’s come back,look!â€

Dafydd continued to struggle with himself as his uncle looked back towards him, recognition beginning to dawn on his face. Normally he would simply assume the void and force his anger and resentment to pass – that was the first thing that Urien had taught him, and he quickly became well-enough practised that he didn’t have to think about it. He tried to form the void in his mind, but it didn’t work. He fed his emotions into the flame, but he could still see his uncle beyond it, and another flame formed, bigger and brighter – a flame of his anger. He tried to force everything into the smaller flame, but the larger one sucked everything into it. His hatred and anger and frustration, all the feelings from his youth became all-consuming. He rose from the table, slowly, and Elyssa reached out, placing a hand on his arm, but he brushed it away. He had no idea what she could feel of him through the bond – he’d never been told whether or not there was a way that he could block it to prevent her feeling him, although he knew that at times she could shut him out for a while. Either way, he currently had no sensation of her in his mind at all. There was nothing else, just his uncle, and his anger.

 

He stood still for a few moments, glaring directly into his uncle’s eyes. On the edge of his awareness he felt Elyssa try to take his hand, he heard her voice, sounding like a distant echo.

“Dafydd? Dafydd? What is it?“

There was obvious concern in her voice, but it didn’t register with him at all. All that mattered was his uncle, and the burning flame of his own rage.

“If he speaks, I’ll kill him, I know it.â€, he heard a voice in his mind saying, “Just let him speak..â€

 

His eyes narrowed as he watched his uncle look first at his friends, then back at Dafydd. His stance was the same as it had ever been, arrogant, aggressive, self-assured, and he tilted his head back slightly as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Where have….â€, he began.

 

It was all Dafydd needed. He slipped his hand away from Elyssa, and practically flew across the short distance between him and his uncle. He must’ve kicked three chairs aside in his fury, although it seemed to him as though they moved out of his way of their own accord.

“Bryn! Look out!â€, someone called out as he drew his fist back and threw an obvious punch at the man’s face. His uncle half smiled as he ducked to one side, but it was a trick Dafydd had learned before he even met Urien – the punch followed through, and instead of his fist, his elbow thudded against the side of his uncle’s face, causing him to stumble slightly to one side. And Dafydd’s other fist was already moving in low, to catch him in the ribs as he stumbled.

 

He sank to his knees with a groan, clutching his side. Dafydd grabbed him by the front of his coat with one hand and started to pull him upright, when the innkeeper laid a hand on his shoulder.

“There’s no need for fighting in my inn. Whatever the matter is, I’m sure….â€, he began but Dafydd, his uncle still held by the jacket, turned his head to half face him.

“I have no quarrel with you, friend. Yet. This is my matter, and I will deal with it without your interference.†His voice was cold, flat and empty, and the innkeeper held up his hands and began to step backwards as Dafydd turned back to face his uncle.

 

“I’m big enough to fight back now, see? Want to try and beat me again? I’m not starving, and exhausted any more! Beat me now, old man. Come on, where’s that belt you used to love so much? Or would you like me to find you a stick?â€

His uncle opened his mouth to speak again, his teeth coloured red with blood from where Dafydd’s elbow had hit his cheek. Before he had a chance to form any words, however, Dafydd had pulled his own head back a little way, and suddenly jerked it forward, his forehead meeting the bridge of his uncle’s nose with a muffled crunching sound. Even as he pulled his head away, still holding his uncle by his jacket, the blood was running over the man’s mouth and dripping from his chin.

 

“Who do you treat like a slave now?â€, Dafydd said, as his left fist connected with his uncle’s ribs. The man groaned again, clearly in pain, the wind knocked out of him. His eyes were half closed, and he spluttered through his own blood as he tried to speak.

“Who do you force to sleep on the floor?â€, Dafydd spat, with another punch to the ribs.

 

His uncle’s arms flailed around as Dafydd shook him by the jacket, his head lolling back and forth. His mind was so focussed on the man’s face, and on his own rage, that he never saw him grasp an earthenware jug from the table next to them. His uncle swung it in a wild arc, until it smashed against the side of Dafydd’s head. He staggered to the side and released his grip on his uncle, white spots appearing before his eyes. It only lasted a moment though, and as his uncle slumped, still groaning, to the floor, his hand went to the side of his head, and came away sticky with blood. In an instant he was on top of his uncle on the floor, pulling him partially upright by his jacket once more.

 

“When I ran away from you, I swore an oath that you would never harm me again!â€, he growled, “and you just made me break that oath!â€

Holding his uncle up with one hand, he began repeatedly punching him in the face with his other. Amid the commotion and shouts in the common, he suddenly became aware of a near hysterical screaming. It seemed to be touching something in his mind, something on the edge of his memory, outside the void, beyond his anger.

“You will never hurt me again! Do you hear me?â€, he snarled at his uncle, who was no longer moaning. He drew his hand back to his shoulder, pausing before slamming it forwards once more, but before he could, he felt the air thicken around him. His arms were held immobile as they were, and the solid air pulled him back, away from his uncle, lifting him to his feet and forcing him to stagger back across the common room.

“Dafydd STOP! You’re killing him!â€, Elyssa was yelling.

 

The bonds of air around him relaxed, and he sagged back against a table, panting, suddenly breathless. His uncle groaned again, blood bubbling around his mouth as he rolled onto one side and started to curl up.

“He’s still alive!â€, he said, dismissively as Elyssa knelt over the injured man, turning him gently onto his back.

“He’ll live. Leave him be, he doesn’t deserve your concern.â€

“Everybody deserves my concern!â€, Elyssa snapped at him, not turning her attention away from his uncle.

 

Dafydd realised then, even though the anger still coursed through his veins like molten steel, that he had disgraced himself, and Elyssa too. They had been travelling incognito, but he had forced her to betray her true identity. By tomorrow morning everybody for miles around would have heard that there was an Aes Sedai in the village, and they would be beset for the rest of their journey by people asking for help with something or other. He had let her down, and let her down badly. His duty had been to her, not to himself. As she knelt over his uncle, all eyes in the common room on her, he quietly stalked out of the room, up the narrow staircase at the back, and picked up his saddlebags and staff. He took his colour-shifting cloak out of the bag, folded it carefully, and laid it on the small bed next to Elyssa’s things. With a last glance at her pack and cloak, he opened the window and pushed his things out onto the scullery roof beneath it before squeezing himself though the narrow opening. He grabbed his pack and staff, and slid down the roof, jumping the last short drop to the courtyard behind the inn.

 

His horse whickered as let himself quietly into the stables and quickly saddled him. He patted Elyssa’s horse to quieten her down, before leading his own mount out of the stables and shutting the door behind himself. He opened the gate at the back of the courtyard just a crack, and checked the lane – it was deserted – before swinging it carefully open enough for him and his horse to get through. Once at the end of the lane, he mounted, and with his staff at his side, he spurred the horse to a gallop, looking up to follow the North star. He didn’t deserve to call himself a Warder, that much was clear to him. He had abused his position of trust, he had abused the training he had received. Urien had been right, he was worthless. It had been a mistake to think he would ever be good enough a person to call himself a Warder, but he couldn’t deny the quality of his training. He could at least do one good thing. He would go and use his training to end his days in the Blight. He might be a disgrace as a Warder, but he could take some of the Shadow’s minions to the last embrace with him.

 

Dafydd Llewellun

Warder?

 

 

 

 

 

Elyssa wasn’t worried when Dafydd stood to go and stop the argument that had started. She knew all he was going to do was ask them to take it outside. It was a shock to her when a man came up to him as if he knew him. It was an even bigger shock when Dafydd took the man by the throat as if the man had upset him. Elyssa couldn’t hear what the two men had been talking about. Dafydd finally was making his way back to the table when another man came through the front door of the inn. He looked as if he could be related to Dafydd. Elyssa knew that they were close to where Dafydd had grown up but she hadn’t realized how close they were till that moment. As the man walked through the door and the first man had told him that Dafydd was here and he really hadn’t been killed all Elyssa could feel through the bond was hatred. It seemed as if everything else was drowned out by that one feeling. She stood and put her hand on his arm to try and calm him but he brushed her away. She could tell that the hatred she felt through the bond was getting stronger and she didn’t like the way things seemed to be heading. She slipped her hand into his hoping maybe that would get his attention. It didn’t but at least this time he didn’t brush her away. “Dafydd? Dafydd? What is it? “

 

The man at the door started to say something to Dafydd and through the bond she felt something snap. She couldn’t explain what that feeling was like but she knew it wasn’t a good feeling. Dafydd took his hand out of hers and before she could do anything to stop him he had the man at the door on the floor. He was really hurting the man and then Elyssa realized who the man was. It was Dafydd’s uncle who had treated him so rottenly when he lived with him. Elyssa figured Dafydd was only going to teach him a lesson and not kill the man but when she saw that Dafydd wasn’t going to stop she knew she had to do something. She could hear Dafydd saying something to his uncle but she couldn’t quite hear what it was. She had to do something before he killed the man she couldn’t let him do that. The man was unarmed when he’d come into the inn and to kill an unarmed man after you started the fight no matter what had happened in the past was wrong.

 

Elyssa embraced the source and let it course through her for just a second. The feeling of it brought her to life. A life fuller than the one she had just been in. She could hear more clearly now and she could tell that Dafydd was angry with his uncle and shouting about not ever being able to hurt him again. Just as Dafydd went to throw one final blow that most likely would have killed the man Elyssa made the air thicker around him and held him back. She lifted him away from his uncle. “Dafydd STOP! You’re killing him!†she was yelling. She wanted to cry from the emotions she could feel through the bond and the look of the battered almost dead man in front of her. But now everyone knew her for what she really was and she could not be seen crying. What would that say about all Aes Sedai?

 

She set Dafydd down and without even looking at him she went to his uncle. She rolled him onto his back and got ready to delve him and see what could be done for him. “He’s still alive!†he said, dismissively as she knelt over the injured man.

“He’ll live. Leave him be, he doesn’t deserve your concern.â€

“Everybody deserves my concern!†she snapped at him, not turning her attention away from his uncle. She hadn’t meant to sound so cold when she said it but everyone was her concern and she had to help those who were injured. She delved his uncle and saw that he had several broken bones. It was easy enough to fix those it was his internal injuries she was going to have a problem with. All the time she was working on Dayffd’s uncle she hadn’t noticed that Dafydd was getting further and further away.

 

It had taken her a long part of the evening to heal Brynn and she was exhausted from the effort. “Just make sure he stays in bed for a few weeks. He’ll survive the beating but he will be exhausted from the healing I just gave him. When he wakes give him food he will also be starving.†She headed up to her room when she had finished giving the instructions.

 

Elyssa was so exhausted by the time she reached her room she hadn’t noticed anything amiss. She did not realize Dafydd had gone a long way off. She lay on the bed and was asleep before she even realized her eyes were closed. The next morning when she awoke she noticed that there were things missing from her rooms. Dafydd’s saddle bags and staff were gone but his cloak was there. She felt for him through the bond and it seemed like he was miles and miles away. When Elyssa realized that he was gone she began to panic. Why had he left? She had to leave at once and find him but she would have to get provisions first.

 

By the time she was ready to leave and had taken care of the inn bill and made sure Brynn was okay she could feel that Dafydd was yet further away. She headed in the direction she could feel him in. People kept wanting her to stop but she told them that unfortunately something very important needed her attention and that she would send someone along to them when she had taken care of the matter. As she got closer and knew just exactly where Dafydd was she blocked the bond so he wouldn’t know she was coming. She tried to be as quiet as Dafydd had shown her but it was hard to in the dress she was wearing. She hadn’t thought of tying it up the way he had shown her.

 

Before she was able to get close to him she realized she should have come in the other way so she would be across the fire from him and not behind him but it was already too late he’d heard her coming “A deaf man would’ve heard you coming.â€, he said without turning around. She could smell the rabbits he was cooking. She hadn’t realized how late in the day it had gotten and she was tired. All she wanted was to be invited to sit with him by the fire and find out what had happened back in the town. She released the block on the bond so she would be able to tell what he was feeling.

_________________

Elyssa Lliet~Blue sister Bonded to Dafydd Gaidin

Mateo Ashden~Tower Guard

Pencari Angin~Windfinder

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been two days since he left the village. He had ridden right through the night on that first night, and well into the next day, putting as much distance as himself and the situation he left behind as he possibly could. He knew that Elyssa would be unable to avoid healing his uncle, assuming that man wasn’t beyond healing. She wasn’t a Yellow sister, but she would do what she could. His actions had caused her to reveal her identity as Aes Sedai, and she could not turn down a request to heal the man. She wasn’t in any danger though, he was confident of that – despite what he had told her, the people in this area were mostly respectful of Aes Sedai, if a little suspicious of their motives. She was drawn to people who needed help like children were drawn to a gleeman, and if they had been obvious as an Aes Sedai and her warder they would’ve been surrounded by requests for help with one thing or another, and would never have got back to Tar Valon at all. Not that he expected or intended to see Tar Valon again, not now, not after this. The Blight was where he was headed, one final act in defence of the Light to redeem himself before he met the Creator, which he surely would beyond the Borderlands.

 

He had felt her a few times, through the bond, as he rode away. He couldn’t be sure, but it felt as though she was channelling. She always felt different when she channelled, and when he felt her next she was tired. At least she was still in the same place, and not coming after him. He had felt her once more since then, but it was only briefly, and although he could feel that she was looking for him, he couldn’t tell where or how close she was in so short a space of time.

 

Eventually, he decided that there was enough distance to give his horse a decent rest, and he felt as though he could do with one too. He was hungry, having left in too much of a hurry to bring decent provisions, but had managed to catch a couple of rabbits along the way, which were hanging from his saddle. He found a suitable camping place – on a wooded hillside where he would be able to keep a good lookout behind him while still concealing his fire. He cooked the rabbits with a kerchief tied across one of his eyes – a trick which Urien had taught him, if he should suddenly need to be able to see away from the fire, he could quickly remove the kerchief, and have an eye which was already used to the dark. It wasn’t really dark yet, but it made most sense to make preparations early. He squatted by his small fire, tending to the rabbits which were cooking nicely on a makeshift spit. His sword was still hanging from his belt, and his staff lay by his side, both within easy reach should he need them.

 

Eventually his ears picked up the sound of the footsteps from some way away. His hand reached instinctively for his staff, but it didn’t take more than a second or two of listening for him to identify those footsteps as Elyssa’s. It sounded like she was trying to be quiet, and doubtless thought she was doing very well at it, but he didn’t need to turn around to know that it was her. He smiled at her attempts to move quietly, and then frowned at himself for smiling. He wasn’t her teacher any more, he wasn’t her warder any more. He wasn’t anything any more. The footsteps stopped a little distance behind him, but she didn’t speak.

 

“A deaf man would’ve heard you coming.â€, he said, still facing the fire, still turning his rabbits, “Remember what I taught you. Keep your weight on your back foot until your front foot is stable, then

[Elyssa]

OOC: Finally I got this written. Hope you like it.

 

IC: Elyssa sat and listened as Dafydd talked. She’d had a good rest the night before after having been on her horse for two days without a break. All she cared about was getting Dafydd to come back to the White Tower with her. She didn’t understand how he could think he wasn’t a warder any more. It broke her heart in two to think that she might have to be without him. They’d known each other for so long and done so much with each other. She’d even embarrassed herself and done stuff she shouldn’t have done.

 

 

She was glad when he’d said he would return to Tar Valon with her but her excitement only lasted a few seconds. He was only going to make sure she got back safely and then he would be off to the Borderlands to go and fight trollocs. “ But Dafydd would someone who was not a true Warder care enough about anyone to help them back safely? If you were not good enough to be a Warder I would not have asked you to bond me and I would not have come looking for you when you ran away.†She was crying now, he seemed to do that to her a lot. “ I don’t care what you did back there in that town. What that man did to you was a lot worse than what you did to him. He did it to a little boy who was helpless and couldn’t defend himself. At least he was big enough that he could have done something about it.†Ely couldn’t stop how dare he try and desert her. She needed him more than just to watch out for her and keep her alive. She needed him to be her friend. He was the only one who knew her deepest darkest secrets, the only one who knew how to comfort her when she did something stupid like get her staff stuck in her hair.

 

“ Maybe he didn’t want to hit you back, maybe he thought he deserved it too, Deep down maybe he knows what he did to you all those years ago was wrong and you didn’t deserve it.†She just broke down and let all her tears come out. “If you still insist on going to the Borderlands after we get back to Tar Valon, just realize that you will be killing me as well. You will not only be taking the life of the best Warder I know you will be taking the life of his Sedai. If you want that on your shoulders then go ahead, I don’t care anymore. You can go now and I will find my own way back to Tar Valon. I don’t need a man who doesn’t think he needs me.†Elyssa got up and walked over to her horse. Taking her brush out of her bags she sat and began brushing what was left of her hair. “ If you didn’t care about me Dafydd you wouldn’t have done what you did for my hair. You wouldn’t have made that bracelet around your wrist. You wouldn’t have saved the hair I know is in it to make it.†She saw the look of surprise on his face from that statement. “Yes Dafydd I have seen the bracelet. I was not going to mention it till you did but seeing as you don’t seem to care about me anymore I couldn’t help but bring it up. Only someone who cares would do what you did, you can’t tell me that you don’t care.â€

 

She stood and put her brush back in her bags wiping the tears from her eyes. She then began to take care of her horse. Brushing her tail and mane out. She made sure there was nothing to cause pain between flesh and saddle and then saddled the horse. Once she was finish she got in the saddle and looked to Dafydd one last time. “I am going to Tar Valon now if you care you will come with me and not leave. If you leave I will know you have been lying to me and you wish me dead along with you. You should know that I will not block the bond with your death I will let the pain take me along with you. Just because you no longer care does not me I don’t.†With that she turned her horse and began the long journey home. It was going to take time if she didn’t stay out of the towns. Now that everyone knew there was an Aes Sedai around she would be getting requests. Her plan was to stop in every other town and do what she could for them. She couldn’t just leave a people who needed her. It wasn’t in her nature to be cruel just because her heart was breaking. She would tell the first town she came to to spread the word that she would stop in every other town to take requests and do what she could. They people could come to her at any time of day. She would stay there for three days and then be on her way. If she had no warder with her she was sure there would be those who would step up to help her if need be. If not she had what Dafydd had shown her and would do her best with the One Power. She rode on without looking back, she knew he was following her but he was keeping his distance for now. She did just what she’d told him she would. She left the bond unblocked and rode on. He was going to feel all the pain he was causing her whether he liked it or not.