The Hornsounder - Volume 2, Edition 6

[Lanette]

The Editor's Note

by Lanette, Co-Editor (Markswoman - Archers)

 

 

Ok, my fellow Banders and guests, welcome to another edition of our beloved newsletter...The Hornsounder!

 

First off, I must thank our M-G, Corki for giving me this responsibility. I have enjoyed it tremendously so far and I'm sure I will continue to do so. And hope you will find The Hornsounder to be

just as interesting.

 

Secondly, there are two people whom I must thank especially for being so helpful to me in connection with The Hornsounder. That's our very own Wooly and Odette. They've been a great help and have worked a lot towards turning this edition of The Hornsounder into a success. Thank you guys!

 

Ok, so in this month's Hornsounder we will be introducing a new set of feature articles: The Regiment Monthly Reviews. These will give you a brief recap of the serious and fun activities that went on in each Regiment during the past month. I hope you'll enjoy them.

 

We've got our monthly JotS Contest winning entry, which I would personally call a winner among winners because the entries this month were simply great!

 

By way of enhancing your knowledge we've got an article on weapon-making. And we have two Banders recount their experiences in finding their way into the Band and their time as a Recruit. Then (surprise! surprise!) there's the "ode to Archers" from a very unlikely Bander!

 

Two articles here will stretch your collective imaginations as no rubber band ever could! Yes, I'm talking about the Thief Taker and the Mummy. And there are two great poems submitted by a certain "flowersinger" and a very talented Cavalier which will charm you no end.

 

And finally we have a huge insertion of eastrogen into The Hornsounder by one of our Band's most loved ladies when she sings about Robin Hoo...who??.

 

Ok, so without further ado...ladies and gentlemen...enjoy!

[Lanette]

My Time as Recruit

by Ashandarei (Halbedier - Infantry)

 

 

(sung to the tune of All Star-by Smashmouth)

 

 

Somebody once told me the band is gonna show me

that I can dance with weapons for my breaaad

She made me look kind of dumb with some cherry bomb rum

in the shape of a red hand-print on my fore...cheek

 

Well the weeks start comin' and regiments start luring

Fed to the rules and I hit the taverns brawlin'

Didn't make sense not to fight for fun

Your body gets bruised and your fists get numb

 

So much to do so much to drink

So what's wrong with playing a few tricks

You'll never know if you don't try

Northie'll show ya' if you don't know how

 

Hey now you're an Archer, get your bow strung- go shoot

Hey now you're a Infant, get your blades out - it's all gooot

And aaaall that's brewed is soooold

Only brew teaaaa breaks the moooold

 

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

Caddy's Icebox cuts the heat like the winter

But some of the other banders actually prefer

those breezy sunny hammocks rockin' by the water

 

The banders' store of patience is getting pretty thin

What with Bob the ghost getting under our skin

My shot's on fire how about yours

That's the way I like it and I never get bored

 

Hey now you're a Cavy, get your saddle on - ride hard

Hey now you're an Infant, grab that chain mail - get your hide on

The infantry in front is boooold

The archers backing them with arrows ten-fooold

 

Somebody once asked could you spare some limbs of yours

I need to get my rusty saw back in shaaape

I said nope what a concept,

A nurse who saws off limbs to be kept

And we might all be a part of that gaaame... :shock:

Well the Nurse starts coming and she don't stop coming

I saw Sheli coming and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live...in one piece

Your body gets bruised and your wounds torn open

So much to see so inviting to invade

So what's wrong with roasting some mutton?

Hey, try not to knock it till you taste it,

Else you'll never enjoy wooly being basted... :P :D

[Lanette]

If Thief Takers Were Real

by Grim aka Footman (Champion - Infantry)

 

 

This is what he had born for! He was sure of it. Some of his armed escort was waiting near the entrance to the cave, others were ahead of him even though this cave had been checked again and again for IED’s and clues as to where the prey could have fled to. He had been a Finder for years now, working with various police and federal agencies as a freelance (more money in that than being tied to one department or company). He was one of the best Finders that had been around and now he was on the trail of the worst of the worst. This was the big score, the biggest. Some of the Finders did it for the ideal of locking up the worst criminals, and so did he, but ideals didn’t put food on the table. For years now he had tracked criminals by scent. Most folks thought it odd or frightening, and some wouldn’t accept it at all. The funniest people were the ones that flat out refused to believe he could do it by smell, and instead believed he had some sort of ESP. He found that amusing that some people felt more comfortable believing in extra sensory perception instead of believing in one of their own five senses. His smell was just over developed, allowing him to smell criminals.

 

Snapping out of his revelry, he put his mind firmly back to the task at hand. Sure, he had a company of Airborne Infantry soldiers from the 82d as his security, but it was the careless, daydreaming Finder that found themselves dead, no matter how much security they had had. This Finding was far more extensive than anything he had done so far in his career. This was his first foreign gig, and he wanted to get this one right, not only for the large contract money, but for the ideal of this Find. This one, he almost did for free (he had begged the Department of Defense long enough to try this), but no matter what, ideals didn’t bring food to the table. This contract would bring food, a new table, a new house around the table, college for all three kids, and retirement for him at the age of 35!

 

dang! He was doing it again. The sergeant was looking at him expectantly now. For three days he had been on the trail, and for three days the trail had gotten stronger and stronger. Rubbing his nose at the awful stink that permeated this cave, he told the sergeant, “Three days ago. Four tops he was here.†The sergeant grinned. By the end of this week, they would most likely have the most wanted man in the world. Even Bin Laden couldn’t hide from the nose of a Finder!

[Lanette]

An Odd Perspective of the Archers

(Archer Activity Review - July)

by Odette (Sharpshooter - Archers)

 

 

Well we can't start a monthly review of the Archers without first talking about the new commissioned officers we have starting this month. What a fantastic job they are all doing. Our Redarms are active this term - in fact Northie is the head RedArms and Oz was just appointed her second in command. Lanette and Cadsuane have the raw-recruit process down to an art, streamlining it so that it's efficient, doesn't confuse the recruits and most importantly FUN. We are all impressed with the our new Banner Captains who are making some of the biggest strides forward. Peck has taken over the Archery school in Blades absence, and Vorkia has essentially founded the Archer Museum. Last but not least, we have our new CG, Leane, we are all proud of her and very excited about the direction she's leading us this term. She and her officers are doing a wonderful job.

 

Following their time as raw recruits, two new banders have joined the Archers this month and we gladly welcome Monster Metroid and Booklover. Both have been a positive influence, and we all enjoy reading their posts. Unfortunately, Monster Metroid has also been put on LOA for a two year period. It's a long way off, but we all anticipate and look forward to his return.

 

One of the most joyous events in a Bander's life is the day they get Banded. This month we got to witness the banding of two of our members. Congratulations abounded for Chaelca and Peck the day they proclaimed their devotion and loyalty to each other. The match must have been made in heaven, and it can be seen by the posting spree that these two have been on for the past few days. A double congrats goes out to these two as they have each reached a milestone number of posts. Peck has made it 1000 posts and Chaelca double that. If you haven't had a chance to congratulate these two on their banding, please do so at http://botrh.proboards36.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1153001270&page=1

 

In other good Archer related news, the editor of the Hornsounder was chosen this month. A gigantic congratulations goes out to our lovely Lanette, she's taking on quite a task, first as an Archer RLO, but now as the editor - of course we all know that she can handle it. In the humble opinion of this writer, she's doing a wonderful job and is filling the shoes of the previous editors quite well. Congrats Lanette!

 

As I mentioned briefly at the beginning of this article, the Archers are opening a Library/Museum for the Band. Just recently we have hired Herid Fel as Curator of the Museum, he came highly recommended and with fantastic references. At the moment the museum is still under construction but we have a few exhibits up and ready for viewing. Please feel welcome to stop by and have a look at the wonderful artwork that has been contributed over the years. And if inclined, leave a comment or suggestion in the appropriate thread.

 

Unfortunately just after the initial construction there has been some sightings of a Mummy lurking the halls. For a more detailed account, please have a look at Manriva's Hornsounder article.

 

Thank you all for reading, hopefully we'll have lots to talk about next month!

[Lanette]

The Queen and The Cavalryman

by Sir Froix (Cavalier - Cavalry)

 

 

Summoned by the Lord, was Eldon Mer

A true bred gentleman and a Cavalier

 

The Lord said, "Mer, This is a serious matter,

You are hereby ordered to deliver a letter."

He then took off and packed all he'd need

To meet the Queen! An honor indeed!

 

And as the sun set, he readied his horse

He took out his map and planned his course

As time passed by, it soon got dark

He set up camp, his horse he parked

 

As crickets chirped and night owls hooted

His horse ran off and he got booted

Tired and hurting, he got up and looked

A wild cat growled and he got spooked

 

He then got up and grabbed his saddle

He ran full speed, he didn't dawdle

He took no rest, his breathing got hoarse

With saddle on his back, he passed his horse

 

A few hours later his horse caught up

They both got set for another lap

He fixed his saddle and they took off

His horse's sudden stop got him thrown off

 

He fell head first, into a lake

Into the cold water, he started to shake

He checked his clothes and then he gawked

He gave out a cry, the letters' soaked

 

He hanged it to dry and slept for the night

His horse spied the letter and took a bite

Morning came, he gave a yelp

He turns to his horse, "Oh you're some help!"

 

At last he reached the castle gate

The palace guards' eyes' filled with hate

Showing the seal, they showed him in

The time has come to meet the Queen

 

Tattered pants and shirt quite worn

Letter in hand and partially torn

Eyes downcast, he hands the letter

Looking like it's fetched from the gutter

 

Filled with pride he's done the deed

To meet the Queen! An honor indeed!

[Lanette]

Sword Forging

by Ashandarei (Halbedier - Infantry)

 

 

Alright, so, we have blacksmiths, silversmiths, and goldsmiths at the Barracks so far. But it takes more than the average skill to become a swordsmith. The craft of the Swordsmith is one of the most difficult and demanding of blacksmithing skills. It requires both physical and mental discipline. It requires many hours of practice at a wide range of hand skills such as forging, carving, filing, engraving and finishing. It requires a practiced artistic eye and technical knowledge in a wide range of subjects. I believe Kellan did forge some impressive weapons. He earned the title. Wooly, you're still chief apprentice right? Here's some help from a friend.

 

I looked into the art of sword-making and have cut the process down to the absolute fundamentals. This is information compiled from multiple websites, so use it well.

 

MODEL:

 

If you are a beginner this is good practice in fitting the pieces together. If you cannot make good fits in wood then metal is out of the question. Wooden models are often made by professional bladesmiths.

 

Saw the shape including the tang using a bandsaw, scrollsaw or jigsaw. Shape the blade by rasping, sanding/grinding and scraping. If the blade is double edged draw center lines on the sides and edges to work to. Wood cuts very quickly and it is easy to make a mistake.

 

Saw out the guard from a waste piece of the blade stock or other hardwood. Drill two starter holes and then cut out the space between with a chisel or jeweler's saw. Carefully fit the guard to the radius seat on the tang. A well fitted guard has no visible gaps at the tang joint.

 

(At this point, you have a wooden blade, identical to the metal one you have yet to make, it can be showed to the customer to make sure you are forging the type they asked for)

 

FORGING:

 

Forging a sword does not require a long heat. If you heat the entire length of a sword to a red heat it becomes limp and hard to handle. Forging is done in short sections and can be done in most forges.

 

HARDENING AND TEMPERING:

 

For heat treating(hardening and tempering a sword) you need to heat the entire blade evenly at one time. This can be done two ways, horizontally and vertically. Both methods require a long forge or furnace. If heated horizontally the blade must be carefully handled to prevent bending under its own load. The blade must be supported carefully between furnace and quench tank. If heated vertically the blade can be lifted with a hook or by the tang and there are no bending loads on the blade. However, to get an even heat the furnace used must have good circulation.

 

QUENCHING:

 

After heat treating, one needs to quench the metal. Quenching puts an enormous amount of stress on the metal, and oftentimes a sword breaks into pieces during that step. Oil is much more preferable to water in quenching. The oil must be heated first because the "warm" oil(130 degrees farenheit or so) decreases chance of thermal shock which could produce hairline fractures and warping.

 

FINAL TOUCH:

 

The blade is finished using, files, hand scrapers, and natural stone.

 

POMMEL:

 

Block out the pommel from a piece hardwood. Drill the tang hole. Fit the pommel to the end of the tang. It should be able to slip on a little farther than where the end of the grip is going to be. Normally the pommel is riveted onto the tang or threaded on. In wood we will glue or wedge. With metal, precise fitting is necessary. In fine blade making epoxy resins are used to fit grips making a perfect permanent fit.(The pommel can be made from a material of your choice, be it metal or wood)

 

GRIP(Hilt):

 

The grip is made from two slabs of hardwood. The hole for the tang will be carved into the two pieces and then they will be glued together making a tapered rectangular hole that fits onto the tang snuggly. Carefully block sand the front surface of

the grip until it must be tapped onto the tang to seat against the guard. Block sand the back end of the grip flat until it fits cleanly with the pommel. Shape the grip with a rasp and files. Finish the front then assemble and work the grip and pommel together with files and sandpaper to make a perfect fit. Disassemble and finish sand the grip being carful not to round the corners that fit the guard and pommel.

 

For all the parts referred to in the method description, here is a basic diagram of a sword.

 

[Lanette]

Here's the July JotS Contest Winning Entry that bagged 8 votes out of 12! Wow! The topic of the month was RED ARMS and the winning entry was submitted by a very talented poet in the Band: Froix

 

 

Bribing redarms, spilling brew

Senseless spamming and channeling too

Oh what's a simple bander to do

But dance with Jak o' the Shadows

 

A redarm does act once in a while

The bander's chance for reconcile

Is to do his task wearing a smile

Or dance with Jak o' the Shadows

[Lanette]

From the Horse’s Mouth

(July in the Cavalry of the Band)

by Twinflower (Scout/Banner Captain - Cavalry)

 

 

Merry Christmas!!! Ho! Ho! Ho!

 

Ok, it is summer and hot, but Bob the Ghost kicked off our month with the gift of a Christmas tree, and awesome new Gym and gift certificates to Jenny Craig, although I think Steelie may have eaten them. Anyway..we had Christmas at the Warhorse all month, with cookie baking, snowman building, caroling and even a holiday brawl. Bob even left us all a gift of a wooden horse. Wasn’t that sweet…we painted and named them even!! Thanks Bob!!

 

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Be it known that Sir F Horn of Valere, Arthurian Knight, Head of the Arthurian Order, Honored member of the Cavalry of the Band of the Red Hand has been appointed as the Executive Officer of the Band. The Cav is proud and happy that Sir Horn has taken on this new responsibility and job for the Band. While we know he is no longer technically Cav..he will always be a Knight, and we will always claim him as ours. But we are glad to share him with y’all.

 

July brought with it new officers, new opportunities, familiar faces and of course bandy and fun! The new officer’s are High Lord Raydon as the CG; Lord Staffy as the Banner Captain of the Horse; Twinnieflower as the Banner Captain of the Lance; and Squires Katoria and Eve as our Red Arms. Congratulations to them all! We also congratulate Lady Sheliara as the new Head of the Arthurian Order of Knights.

 

The Cavalry invites the Band to celebrate with us the Knighting’s of Sir Steel Axe and Sir Froix!! Congrats to both these gents! Sir Steelie aka the Rogue Knight; has chosen his horse and with the help of the naming poll named the beautiful red quarterhorse Rusted Alloy. Sir Froix has chosen a lovely appolosa mare and the polls are still open, although Fluffles is running high on the list!!! Stop by , have a bandy and vote if you want. You can see these awesome new warhorses in the Meadow.

 

Jousting, Scavenger Hunts and Reviews! .OH MY!!! We are having fun at the Yard! The Raw Recruits Duinn, Shadowhelm, Cairos, and Manriva got to go on a Scavenger Hunt as part of their tasks, finding out information and facts about the Band and the Cav. Manriva and Shadowhelm also participated in the Joust, answering questions from the WoT books to tilt with our Knight’s. All of our recruits also wrote a response to a Holiday, Album or Gig review. They were all wonderful and did an amazing job with their tasks. Each were honored for their enthusiasm and effort receiving the Cavalry;s Silver Achievement Pin. Good Job and Congratulations to them all.

 

To wrap up the month..we saw the return of several dear faces to our ranks and with them enthusaim and new activities. Lady Sheliara returned from her LOA, insisting that the band is a black hole that never lets go. She was laughing as she also said she loves us all. Sir Staffy returned bringing his love and passion for the Band’s roleplaying game The Quest. Be sure to check out the thread, post and get your bio’s done! If you have a question for Staffy you can find him in his new Distillary in the Cav boards. Be sure to say hi to Blossom, our new mascot..a baby Grizzly bear.

 

Sir Goldeneyes also returned in a whirlwind of fun and laughter! He also reinstated our Squire program for all cav members working towards knighting. Currently our Squires are Kat to Sir Goldeneye’s, Twinnie to Sir Steelie. Eve will be assigned in the very near future. Look for more about this awesome aspect of being in the cav over the next few months.

 

WHEW!!! I know I probably forgot something..so I invite you to stop by for a Bandy, to to play in the Gym or just visit with us at the Yard. Until next month…

[Lanette]

Robin Oz: a Fairytale for Jak o' the Shadows

by Cadsuane (Ranger - Archers)

 

 

I once knew a fantastic fellow

His name was Oz, never dull nor mellow

To sappy romance he'd always say "Hell no!

I'd rather dance with Jak o' the Shadows"

 

He existed as a walking contradiction

A manly man, he liked beer and a little friction

His tale I'll tell you without any fiction

An epic for Jak o' the Shadows

 

Off to war his King did go

To defend the realm, he left Oz his bow

Unfortunately for him, little did he know

His subjects were slated for Jak o' the Shadows

 

His evil brother soon did usurp

his throne, and his best beer with a slurp

"Taxes you will give me, he said with a burp

Or I'll send you to Jak o' the Shadows!"

 

Now Oz was a good man at heart

So off to plot and scheme he did dart

And find some merry men to play the part

An enemy of Jak o' the Shadows

 

Against the evil usurper Oz fought

Joined by his merry men and a lot

of townspeople whose tempers were hot

Trying to escape old Jak o' the Shadows

 

The evil brother was soon brought down

And joy was felt throughout the town

Oz became a man of great renown

For his bravery against Jak o' the Shadows

 

When from the crusades the King did return

He was quite shocked and amazed to learn

How his nasty brother had tried to earn

A fortune like that of Jak o' the Shadows

 

"Why, Oz" he said, "how lucky am I,

That you were here and did espy

The usupers plan, and bring it awry

Foiling old Jak' o the Shadows"

 

"For that I am grateful, and thus ever so glad

To present to you the best woman to be had

In all the land, good sir, you'd be quite mad

To turn her down for a dance with Jak' o the Shadows"

 

So Oz was wed to the good lady that night

What happened then is another plight

The tale of their marriage will be for another night

Now it's off to sleep, good Jak o' the Shadows...

[Lanette]

A Journey of a Thousand Miles, or How I Came to The Band

by Shadowhelm (Raw Recruit)

 

 

Five years after the Aiel War, my family was slaughtered by a roving band of trollocs. I had been working as a metal merchant since leaving my father’s forge in Baerlon as a boy. Mostly I transported copper and other metals from the Mountains of Mist to the borderlands. It was a lonely living, but peaceful and I enjoyed meeting new people and telling news gathered during my journeys. It was during one of these journeys that I met my wife. She traveled with me for a while until she became with child and I settled her in Baerlon and purchased a small home within the city. It was a good time. My son was born the next year and quickly grew into a strong boy. When the Aiel invaded from the Waste, I began to bring my family along with me on my trips to the borderlands. I thought they would be safer with me than at home. I was wrong.

 

One afternoon while I was away from the wagons on a hunting excursion, a group of trollocs flowed out of the Mountains and attacked our encampment. We were a small party made up mostly of me, my family, and a few hands that helped load and unload the goods. I usually left the hands to tend to the wagons when I went to hunt and I had done just this that day. By the time I reached the camp, even the screams had been carried away by the wind. Nothing was left save a splintered wood stained with blood. I tracked the beasts to a small, filth ridden camp at the base of the mountains. It was a small group of 5. I don’t know why they were there. Maybe they got lost during a raid up north and found themselves in the mountains. I didn’t matter, the damage was done. Limbs were strewn around the camp and I could see my wife’s head floating in the cookpot. I never saw what happened to my son, and for that I am greatfull. I returned to the remains of my wagons and found my bow and short sword still intact. Slowly I crept back to where the tollocs had taken my family. From the trees I was able to kill 3 of them with the bow. The other two I took down with the sword. The fighting was fierce and only my rage brought me to the end of the battle victorious. I was left with a scar running from my left temple to my chin to remember the occasion, as if the memories of my lost family were not enough.

 

I buried what I could find of my wife and the hands. Nothing was left of my son. Afterwards, I burned the trollocs. To this day I still have the stink of their burning flesh in my nose. After that, I wandered for a while finally taking a job as a miner in the Mountains not far from where my family was killed. I supposed I never wanted to be too far from them. In time, the pain diminished and I began to enjoy my work. It was hard, but satisfying. They the refugees came spilling over the mountains from the west. War had broken out and the people were fleeing the fighting. Unbelievable stories came with them. Stories of men riding great monsters and of the Dragon Reborn touched the lips of everyone from the refugees and the miners. It was then that I decided to leave the mountains. I owed my family more than the small revenge I got against their murderers. If the Dragon had truly returned, then my fate would be with him against the dark horde.

 

I encountered The Band of The Red Hand while pushing east toward Tear in search of this Dragon. Men told tales in the inns about fighting for a man of great skill and even greater luck. They told of visits by the Dragon himself and that their leader was a friend of the dragon. It seemed as though I had found the army I sought. Today I stand with the band waiting for the day I can avenge my wife and my son against the shadow. May the light protect us all.

[Lanette]

Ode To Archers

by Woolhead (Crusader - Infantry)

 

 

So why you ask are the archers so great?

My my that question carries quite the weight

To the point where I'm questioning my pschological state :cry:

As I Dance with Jak o' the Shadows.

 

This is the part where they hold a knife to my throat

No worries though, I've got it all learned by rote!

Here it goes, I think it's time to start, so now I quote...

Oh, the Dance with Jak o' the Shadows.

 

First things first, archers are just fun to incite and annoy

The way they get flustered just makes you wanna jump for joy

And Caddy oh Caddy, she's pretty much The Helen of Troy

As she throws stuff at Jak o' the Shadows.

 

Now now, for a bunch of army chicks they sure are nice smelling

But what gets me is Northie's spelling! :P

Along with V's and Gus' and Danya's and Odette's and Lanette's and Chaelca's yelling :D

While I run with Jak o' the Shadows.

 

But what's greatest and puts them all to shame

Is the fact that I beat them at their own game! (except for you Northie, who I tied )

And it looks like I better quit now to avoid any maim

Oh to beat Jak o' the Shadows.

 

So Cavalry, Infantry, or Archers... that was the choice

Now I know what I'm supposed to say here...

But I won't let the devil steal my voice!

And I joined the Infantry because it's the sh*t, now shut the hell up and REJOICE...with Jak o' the Shadows.

 

Alternate Ending:

 

Oh archers oh archers, how I wish I had joined you

When I made my choice I think I musta had the flu

Atleast I can still come by to enjoy the view, maybe drink some brew...

As I sit here deceiving ol' Jak o' the Shadows.

 

 

Au Revoir! 8)

[Lanette]

The Lady & The Rogue Knight

by Twinflower (Scout/Banner Captain - Cavalry)

 

 

The Lady of the Rogue Knight Steel,

She charmed their foe into a meal,

By dessert his trust she did steal.

To trick the Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

Her smile deceiving, she touched his arm,

Her eyes misleading, he felt no alarm,

The deadliest weapon this ladies charm.

To romance the Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

Under the moonlight as they walked,

He boosted of plans while he talked,

Her heart cold, his fate he had locked.

In trusting the Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

His plans revealed, her part achieved

She smiling said you are deceived,

The folly is that you believed.

Heart aches of Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

My heart belongs to the Rogue Knight,

Together we battle for the Light,

Prepare yourself for now you’ll fight.

The dance of Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

Out of the dark her Knight did appear,

The enemies eyes widened in fear,

She stepped away, saying “Kill him dearâ€.

Her hero of Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

“As you wish my Lady fairâ€,

Then seemingly without thought or care,

His mighty axe swung through the air,

To please the Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

His axe was met with a broadsword,

Steel laughed, this barbarian Lord,

“Enough of this my Lady’s bored.â€

To spar with Jak o’the Shadows.

 

In a parlay of deadly steel,

The enemy fought for a deal,

Alas his only choice to kneel,

At the feet of Jak o’the Shadows.

 

The foe was dead., their task well done,

She winked and said,†Let’s have some funâ€,

He grinned and kissed, “I’ll chase, you runâ€

To play with Jak o’ the Shadows.

 

The ladies charm, the Rogue’s might,

Together they’ll preserve the light,

A warning to those who would fight.

And lose to Jak o’ the Shadows.

[Lanette]

INFANT’S ROW

(Infantry Monthly Column – July)

by Woolhead (Crusader - Infantry)

 

 

So Infantry…

Hmmm…

What to talk about…Ah! Got it! The entire current and back story surrounding the Infantry C-G elections…

 

**{The body of this article has been removed due to censorship purposes as seen fit by the current Administration} (Lanette's Edit: Wasn't Me!)

 

Dang eh?? That could have made one hell of a story! But unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, that story is not for public eyes.

 

So what else has gone on this month? Wow, that is a GOOD QUESTION! And at this point, half an hour later (make that 45 minutes now, nope closing in on the 2 hour mark actually, 3, ok let’s be honest…I have been thinking about it for about a day now), I have yet to think of a good answer!!

 

Thus begins my pointless discussion of everything that has been overlooked.

 

First of all, some news on the home front… I am now the proud father of twins, w00t w00t for me!!

 

Ok, so back to business… This month we have witnessed the infantry return to its former glory (back when I joined ) with the arrival of SEVERAL new members. I would personally like to welcome our new members nighteyes, pyro, and Duinn. Also, I would like to welcome back a few older members who have just rejoined us recently. Welcome back Spacey, 12th Regiment, and finn, it’s good to have you guys around again!

 

Onto a more pressing matter, our good friend and loyal infantryman Ash is very happy to celebrate this month the purchasing his 300th pair of shoes! I hope you will all join me in congratulating him as this is quite the astonishing feat. He has recently confided in me that his goal is to reach 365 pairs of shoes later on this year so that he will have a pair for every day of the year. I say let’s push him on and hope for the best!

 

Finally and most importantly, next month represents a very special time for the infantry’s two RLO’s. Ash and I will be receiving a very prestigious award from the Marshall General himself, Corki, for our outstanding performance in our first month as Infantry Regimental Liaison Officers. Alright, so maybe our performance won’t warrant any special award from the M-G but it still does deserve some recognition right? No eh? Well, can’t say I didn’t try Ash! Also… Yay for all members appointed on the Infantry staff this term, I look forward to working with and pissing you all off over the next 2 months, should be good times yadda yadda yadda…

 

Alright, I think I’ll just throw this idea I’m having out in the open and see if I receive violent reaction or what and not. I think from now on I am going to use this monthly review as more of a general opinion article of random stuff going on in the Band. Of course, I will still include the monthly infantry news but as in this review, it may only end of being half of the entire article. I think this will be the most entertaining way to go about things and it will be fun for me too! However, my ideas have a habit of getting shot down so I will wait with much patience to hear feedback from the readers before I actually think on this further. Just to show you how much I am waiting for feedback… I announce a change in name for this article, it shall now be known as Infant’s Row. I’m sure you smart people can catch the joke… maybe.

 

Now, without further ado I conclude the inaugural edition of the Infantry news Infant's Row with the following and an amusing quote I came across:

 

First of all, there is no way in hell I am the father of twins and I imagine even making that decision is several years off for me yet!! Secondly, Ash only owns 3 pairs of shoes, not 300. He has one pair of running shoes, one pair of dress shoes, and just one simple pair of sneakers. I just thought I better clear those up before people around here went haywire.

 

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment; it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

 

Thanks for reading!

[Lanette]

Manriva's Mummy

by Auld Manriva (Raw Recruit)

 

 

 

Auld Manriva, an old pirate slowly walks into what he's been told is the Bands Museum. The place is dusty and dark, well not dark exactly, but it could use a good lighting designer. He could just make out what looked like a few siggys framed on the wall and peering into a room he saw display cabinets. Some had weapons in them that he swore he had seen being carried by Band members."Must be replicas' he muttered to himself.

 

Quietly, He eased down the hall. "This place is creepin me...if I see a stuffed horse in one a' these rooms I'm weighin' anchor" He thought ruefully. Another few steps and a door banged open in front of him followed by Master Fel who crashed into Manriva and as he did a great armfull of dusty books and papers tumbled to the floor.

 

"JUMPIN JEEEHOSAPHAT" Manriva sqawked, pirates being prone to expletives and sqwawking.

 

Bending to pick up books and papers, the two men banged foreheads. Dizzy, Manriva straightened and regaining his composure he laughed, "Ain't we a right pair a' knuckleheads". Knuckling his forelock all the while. "Auld Manriva at your service sir". Master Fel still stunned said " Oh yes..well..Old Man River you say?" "Close enough sir, RLO Cadsuane sent me to help you with a project Master Fel". "Oh did she now" Fel replied with a wry smile.

 

"Well my boy, if you go on down the hallway to the second chamber on the left, you'll find it empty, but for a large crate. The crate is empty as well, and there's your project.

 

You see, some of the Bands rascals brought me a Mummy". "A Mommy"? Mandiva couldn't see what possible..."A Muummy Old Man" Fel repeated."Not a problem in itself, but there seem to be these vacuole's of evil popping up lately and odd things happen when they...pop up. Our Mummy has come to life you see, and has opened his own crate and has been wandering the museum..I'd like you to capture him". At this, Master Fel took the books Manriva had picked up, and walked down the hallway and into his office,whereupon he closed the door. And locked it..

 

"Our Mummy has come to life and I'd like you to capture it" Manriva grumbled." He strode down the hall grumbling and muttering" Why that flamin' silverpike kissin' Cadsuane, I'll...I'll.

 

A spectre stumbled across the hall in front of him bursting out of the second chamber on the left, the thing was wrapped head to belly button with strips of cloth."Head to belly...That things got no trousers" Mandiva yelled."And,it's got pointy little ears".

 

As Mandiva yelled this last,the spectre, which had been hopping on one foot trying to untangle the other from loose wrapping turned his head and yelled back. "They are NOT LITTLE". As he turned his head to yell, the wrappings caught his free foot and the mummy fell in a heap, thumping his head against the wall knocking himself out cold.

 

"I know those ears" Mandiva said to no one in particular. "Thats BOOKIE...But how'd he get mummified? Looking in the second chamber on the left he spotted a large crate, the lid lying on the floor with strips of what appeared to be, small clothes. "The Bands flamin' rascals'll have some cold arse's tonight, I'll bet my Grannys' glass eye on it." He said grinning. "Stuffin poor Bookie in that bloody box, the pointy earred lubber probably couldn' breathe."Choking down a laugh he picked up some strips of cloth."My boy it ain't over yet".

 

"They want a captured mummy, I'll give em' a captured mummy" he said as he set to binding the half naked Bookie hand and foot, all the while trying to keep from seeing what was not so easy to see anyway.

 

Mandiva grasped Bookies' bound feet and proceeded back up the hallway towards Master Fels' Office dragging Bookie behind him. Bookie, not seriously hurt came to and angrily said,"Release me you flaming,bloody pirate, I'm not some loot to pillage and plunder.

 

"I beg yer leave sir but, But yer the only mummy I've seen sir and RLO Cadsuane required me to capture a mummy sir and..err..trousers or no trousers ...you're it".

 

Cadsuane strode into the Museum just then and seeing Mandiva and his quarry, could barely contain her laughter. She looked from Bookie to Mandiva and said,"It appears to me Recruit Mandiva you've captured a Mommy. Well and truly done". With a half face smile Mandiva said,"No M'am, it's a Mummy...M'am".

[Lanette]

Foot Note

by Lanette - Co-Editor

 

 

Ok, dear readers...there you have it! A staggering number of amazingly interesting and even downright hilarious articles! I bet you enjoyed it a lot! *ams start weeping*

 

I thank each and every one who submitted articles for The Hornsounder and I hope that this will continue in the future. *arms about to go on strike*

 

Keep an eye out for the next month's JotS Contest Topic on the Band Offboard Site. I'll be posting the topic in the next couple of days. *arms start protest campaign*

 

oh, and please don't hesitate to post your comments on the various articles here. They are a great encouragement to the writers and I'm sure they'll appreciate your views and comments.

 

Ok, ok...

 

Carai an Shen an Calhar!!

 

*arms fall off*

[Leane_Shariff]

Oooo I LOVE the recaps of the regiments!!! Great Idea!!

 

*reads Shadow's post...light comes on*

POST THAT IN THE QUEST BIO THREAD!!!!

 

And join in The Quest RP!! :D

 

*applauds all who contributed, including Froix who won the JotS comp, and Lanette for doing a great job as the new Hornsounder Mod* :D