I'm still waiting for a pm from eqwina, actually ;)

Hello everyone :)

I've been thinking of returning to DM and the WY for a while now, and I've pm'd Eqwina about it, but she hasn't been online for about a week. Then today I figured I'd bother Sangreal about it instead, but then I saw that Sangreal hasn't logged in for a week either. This leaves me with the question: what next?

I used to play Rosheen Tahn Sakhr, who was at level 20 when I left about... 3 years ago? And I also played the Commander at that time, Brand Ryota. I'd like to bring Rosheen back, at least, and maybe see if there's something I can do with Brand, because he was hilarious.

Anyway... help? Or rather: what to do now?

Right, you all expected a speech, didn't you.

Well, that's going to be a little hard, on account of James being banned and all that, but I suppose I'll give it a shot anyway. When I first moved out of the White Tower and into my new home, I was utterly depressed. There really wasn't enough light in the world to make me smile again. Well, considering the fact that I am of course a wicked and evil dreadlady, that's not all that odd... Anyway, my days were glum and all that.

Then along came Michael, who proved to me and the rest of the world that love is in fact something the Shadow can enjoy just as easily as the Light. Considering the fact that we won this award, I'd say we can enjoy it a whole lot more than you sorry lot of lightfools ;)

I'd like to thank James, for playing the man who is personally helping me repopulate Be'lals order (going on 7 kids now :D) and I'd like to thank Mina, Leon, Toulan and Gabriel for being wonderful kids who understand that mommy and daddy need some special alone time every now and then.

Cheers everyone, and do get drunk and have loads and loads of babies in our honour!

Seriously, I command you to get drunk and have babies :p

* Runs onto the stage, snatches the award and runs off again *

*walks onto the stage, all fabulous and mohawked as usual.*

What?

Yes, I'm late. You thinka mohawk like this just makes itself? You thought it was just there when I get up out of bed? Well, it isn't. It takes time, effort, and a lot of that goop that Cairhienin women put in their hair towers every day. But you have to admit, the result is rather impressive.

Ah, I still remember the day when I first walked into the yards. Some runt of a boy mistook me for a trolloc immediately, and then I got into a fight with the Master at Arms and spent the rest of the day running.

Anyway, without further ado... *smacks Emperor on the head*

oh wait, that's not what I'm here for.

*picks up the award*

This does mean a lot to me, despite the fact that I've officially left Dragonmount already.  I'd like to thank everyone I've ever written with. Without you this world would be a lot less interesting.

Take care everyone, and who knows, we might see each other around again in a different setting, where men don't wear yellow dresses.

~Rosheen Tahn Sakhr

GrandMaster.

finished nano in five days, and I've been recovering after that. Right now my internship is sucking up all my energy, so... don't expect me back any time soon :(

you're all a bunch of shameless spammers.  :P

welcome, Viathan. I hope you enjoy spa... I mean, rp'ing here ;)

my powers of persuasion are strong :p

Are you doing nano again this year? of course you are, I remember reading about it. ;)

not at all :)

and no, you're not part of the tag team that conned me into rejoining DM, which means you're not responsible for my actions at DM. Lucky you ;)

Too bad this doesn't run all the way into December, or I'd be interested with at least some of my characters. As it is I'll have to see if I feel inspired towards the end of nanowrimo. Probably not though...

I'm not particularly active at the moment.  :P I know, I'm usually the bright and shining light of activity, always replying to threads well on time without any poking from you guys what so ever, but...

ok, fine, I'm a slow poster at the very best :p

but right now I've just managed to come down with my second flu in 3 weeks, and nanowrimo is coming up, and I'm smack in the middle of my internship and... well... give me a break already ;)

I'll be active again in December, if you have any questions, requests or demands you know where to find me. Or just poke James and TaeaDawn, as these two are responsible for my presence here in the first place :p

I wasn't counting Leon because Nyssa disowned him because he was being a sneaky, sulky little man. And he hit a Chosen in the crotch.

...

ok, fine, 4 children :p

Nyssa already has everything she could ever wish for. 3 children, 3 more on the way, a wonderful husband, a great job, a nice boss... I suppose she would want the Dark to win somewhere in her lifetime.

Rosheen doesn't want to lose anyone anymore. Ever again.

Sohvi wants to become confident, and see the beauty in herself that others see in her. She'd like to be loved as well.

Helena wants to live happily ever after, and if possible she'd like the Kin to become an accepted alternative to the White Tower.

Lilune wants Chali to be anything but a damane. She'd rather see Chali as a darkfriend than see her as a Damane.

Lev wants Adeline. And he wants the Dragon Reborn to grow a spine already. And he wants to kill every Wetlander he can get his hands on.

Brand would like to see his children grow up well. He'd like to see that his brothers and sisters of the Tower Guard find happiness.

Rumble... wants to be a little smaller. Really, it's no fun to be a huge wolf. people expect huge wolf things of him. Rumble suspects that his life would be a lot simpler without huge wolf responsibilities.

Indira wants to be free above all things, and Faerzyne... well... who knows what Faerzyne wants. A nice toyboy to pass the time with, perhaps?

Welcome back Lie :D

I'll try to catch you online soon as well about your Second in Command :D

hey, that means I get to SiC you on people ;)

  You could have been less sarcastic, James.

I don't know, I think this deserves a little sarcasm at the very least. I've checked bios for the White Tower and the Warders division, and I agree with Estel in this case. There are issues with this bio. I also agree with James: The issues should have been solved before putting the bio up for cross checking. CorenYi has shown in the past that he's perfectly capable on blocking a bio on technicalities, so one has to wonder why this bio, which has some clear issues which he was aware of (as stated in his own reply above) was put up for cross checking. If Estel hadn't been alert, this bio and its issues would have been passed.

If this is how bios are to be checked in the future, then I suggest that we let people post their bios directly on this board, without going through the bio checker of the division. It would save them the time of going through a bio checker who can't be bothered to help them out in the first place.

So in short: I find this appalling. The very reason bios are sent to the divisions before approval is to make sure that the bios posted here are without major issues. And yet here we are, discussing a bio that should have been corrected before it even got here, but instead got passed with a:

I warned you it'd likely be a problem Genna. I'll get to talking to folks and see what we need to do to work this out. You may have to make some changes.

Do your division and the rest of the bio checkers a favour, CorenYi, and make sure this is done before you put it up for cross checking next time.

Unbound. The lying, deceiving, devilish bastards had left her wrists and ankles unbound, because they knew Rosheen wouldn't struggle. Wouldn't harm them. Not when she'd seen an apt demonstration of what that necklace could do. That collar. As if her Aes Sedai was a slave that they would trade off as soon as they could. So while her anger was almost enough to overwhelm her worry, and while her muscles were tensed to a point where they'd no doubt start to ache soon, she did nothing. She walked to the wagon on her own accord. She got in without urging. She sat down next to her Aes Sedai, without killing anyone. The spring had been an elusive thing ever since they had first been captured. She had no way to hide her rage and her helplessness from Aramina. Some warder she was. First hint of danger, and she'd allowed Aramina to get captured. Some warder...

-

The warrior and the Aes Sedai were placed in the wagon, a little less gentle than she had instructed, but it was of little concern to her. As long as the end results were the same. Besides, she couldn't blame her underlings for feeling a little violent. The mohawked woman had given them hell, until they managed to collar her Aes Sedai. The Aes Sedai had given them hell up to that point. After that, things had improved a great deal. She had healed the warrior. She had a long task ahead of her, after all, and Nyssa wanted to make absolutely sure that her message reached the right ears. That was the same reason why the Aes Sedai wasn't healed. She also wanted to make sure that the right message reached those ears. Now it was time for a little more subterfuge. The Aes Sedai provided a decent starting point for the conversation.

"We have no quarrel with you, Aramina Sedai, or with you, Rosheen Gaidin. We merely require your service. You will deliver a message to Sirayn Sedai." The Amyrlin Seat. What a joke. "You will tell her that she is to stay out of Kandor, if she values the lives of her underlings. You may tell her what she can expect if she does send her armies here. We can't use her involvement, and the things that are at play here are too big for her to grasp in any case. Tell her that if she values her position, she will abandon the borderlands. She can only lose more here." She turned to the pair of dreadlords. "You know what to do. Leave them outside of Tar Valon somewhere, and then come back here. We have work to do." She walked away from the Aes Sedai and the warder, leaving them behind in confusion. Duram didn't care about Kandor, or Arafel. What he did care about was the confusion their actions would cause among the leaders of the White Tower, and among the other Chosen. It was a successful mission. It was time to go home. Without further ado she opened a gateway, stepping on the skimming platform. Her children were waiting for her.

-

"Useless." Rosheen muttered, referring to their situation as well as the comments given by the dreadlady. She talked a lot, but she told them nothing. The Forsaken had taught his pet well. The cart started moving, through some kind of gate. The scenery changed instantly. Rosheen recognised it well enough. Tar Valon, or close to it at least. The wagon stopped. Another gateway appeared, and the dreadlords walked through it, disappearing. She would remember their faces though. She turned to her bondmate again. The pain she felt was easily spotted on her face, if not through the bond. "What now?" she asked. She had to ask. Though she'd been through a lot, Rosheen had never dealt with having her bondmate in the back of a wagon, bound by some strange collar that kept her from channelling.

A little too bittersweet...  But Rosh is just a sore loser. :P

And Cairma is insane.  ;)

we're done :)

She should have seen it coming, of course. This was a Ren'shai master she was fighting, after all, and Ren'shai masters didn't think the way sane people did. To Rosheen, the point of the spar was to win, while doing as little damage possible to herself and her opponent. It was about control, perfect, absolute control which allowed her to conduct this spar with a power wrought sword, because she was certain that she could direct each strike so that her opponent wouldn't be damaged.

She was doing fine, perfect actually, until Cairma forcibly wrested the control from her hands. What should have been a easily avoided blow became something far deadlier as Cairma opened herself up to the attack. All that was heard from Rosheen was a sharp intake of breath as the blade continued it's motion forward, as if Cairma's stomach was barely a resistance at all. At that point, Rosheen knew that she'd lost. She pulled the blade back and rushed towards Cairma, both angry and worried about her friend at the same time.

Even as the power wrought sword clattered onto the ground, Cairma was on the move again. It as a simple leg swipe, one that Rosheen had used many times. It was unavoidable. With a thud she landed on her back. A moment later the tip of Cairma's sword touched her throat. It was over and done with. The blade was raised, and Rosheen got to her feet. She waved away the yellow sister that rushed at her, looking at Cairma instead. Her friend was in the ground, getting healed by two yellows at the same time.

"Had you pulled such a move in battle, you would be dead." she said, her voice still cold and flat from the Spring. "I would have taken your head then. As it is, you are lucky you're fighting a master, and not someone less skilled. Try to keep this in mind in battle. Your Ren'shai tricks serve you well here, but elsewhere they will only get you killed. You have an Aes Sedai who feels an ache in her stomach and her mind even as we speak, and you have a son who would not understand why his mother chose to let herself get killed."

She spat on the ground then, her face twisting in a snarl as she let go of the spring. The rage she felt at Cairma's stupidity. After a brief nod from Bryon she picked up her sword, using a rag to clean of the blood. Light... Cairma's blood... She turned away from the woman who had just won their little spar, and stalked off towards the barracks. "Bloody Ren'shai..." she muttered, deciding there and then never to fight one again unless she actually intended to go for the kill.

“Uh… well, a lot of things, actually.” Sohvi said, trying to leave what those things were in the middle. Not that they were all secret, but… well… they weren’t really Korrena’s business either. “I’ve been… ehm… tending to my herb garden, and I’ve been practising with my bow and staff, and… Why do you smell like Anton?” She clasped her hands on her mouth the second the question popped out of it. “Oh my… Not that I’m implying anything, of course. I mean, Anton would never… Not that you’re not lovely and attractive of course, but… oh, ashes! Never mind me.”

The look on Korrena’s face was priceless. For a moment the other wolfkin girl just looked at Sohvi, the corners of her mouth twitching as she tried to hold back her laughter. Then she clasped her hands in front of her own mouth with an oddly snorting noise, before falling back on the ground. Before long she was rolling in the leaves, laughing her butt off. Soon enough Sohvi found herself giggling. It was a rather infectious laugh, after all.

It took a while for it to die down enough for Sohvi to try speaking again. “So… what are you up to?” she asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. Korrena was always up to something, and it was rarely something productive. And now she smelled like Anton, and had a mischievous look on her face. “And if it’s any good, can I join?” Sohvi asked, the look on her face mirroring that on Korrena’s.

"I liked it better when I didn't remember." Sohvi said, stuck somewhere between smiling and crying her heart out. "I think that's why I forgot so completely. I just wanted it to go away, and I thought that as long as I just pretended it didn't happen, it would soon be that way." she shook her head, smiling wryly. "It's kind of like that childhood rhyme, where you have to close your eyes and plug your ears, because if you can't see or hear the dark one, then the dark one can't see or hear you either. Maybe that actually works on the dark one, but it doesn't work that way with memories."

Anton walked around a bit, gathering some things for her. She followed him with her eyes, comforted by his presence. "I could have dealt with all those memories... Rita, Runa and Rema telling me I was hideous, Rada and Reva not caring about whether I lived our died... Jon with his speeches, Jak with his pranks... Jim and Jay with their drinking and their stupid friends. All those memories would have been fine, if I didn't have this one on top of them."

She sat up when Anton urged her to, and drank the thing he brewed for her at his insistance as well. Soon enough she felt herself get a little fuzzy around the edges. The sharpness of her newly found memories softened to a murmur somewhere in the back of her mind. "Don't go." she whispered, just before she sank into a deep sleep. Don't let him in.  she thought to Eyes High, even though she knew that Joe was nowhere near the stedding. But perhaps, if she were lucky, the wolf could keep him out of her dreams as well.

So, she had gone behind his back, but that wasn't important now.  What was important to him was that Sohvi was alright, and now that she had let the worst of it out, now that she had nothing else to hide as far as he knew, maybe it would be a step in the right direction.  He hoped it was, maybe it would never leave her, but he hoped that it would lose its grip on her.  How that could be done, he wasn't sure, but he would try nevertheless.  Sliding his hand up from her arm to her face, Anton held her close as he wondered what to do with her.  Perhaps it would be best if she slept for now, but he would have to make sure she didn't simply run into the Wolf Dream either.  She needed real sleep.

"Its alright, shh, it may hurt to remember but its not something you should have to hide from.  You didn't do that, that was done to you.  You did nothing wrong.  I want you to remember that, it was not your fault."  John on the otherhand, Anton had known that that would be dangerous ground to walk on with Sohvi.  He hadn't known this was the reason, but her shyness merited caution.  Light, as prejudiced as it was, he was beginning to resent the Rangers more and more.  Such recklessness, and it was unfair on some he was friend to like his mentor Burrich, but then he didn't think of Burrich as a Ranger.

Stroking her hair, Anton's voice was a little calmer, even though he was upset, as he spoke.  "I think more than anything now, you need rest.  I want to go mix something for you with some water to make sure you aren't plagued by nightmares, and I will remain here the entire night.  I'll bring Eyes High in as well and we will all stay here with you.  When you wake up in the morning, I'm going to make you breakfast and we will talk more on it.  Alright?  You have nothing to worry about, you're safe here."

"It wasn't his fault." she said, wide eyed again as she tried to remember just what had gone wrong. After all those years of carefully forgetting everything that had ever happened between her and Joe, there was something that had brought it all back. "I was just out riding with him. We were hunting, like we usually do because he's helping me with my bow practise, and it feels good to hunt. Like I'm doing something right, you know?" she looked at Anton, hoping to find some kind of understanding in his eyes.

"Go on." he said. She didn't want to though. "It wasn't his fault." she repeated. She knew how Anton felt about the Rangers. It would be wrong if he started to hate them even more, just because of her memories. "We were just hunting, but we'd gone out a bit too far and we decided to camp out. There was a fire, and he smelled good, and I know that it was just my wolf instincts that were telling me it was all fine, but I just thought... I just thought it wouldn't do any harm."

Just a cuddle, that's what she'd thought. Just a kiss, perhaps. And she'd wanted that, unlike anything Joe had ever wanted from her. "But then... he touched me... and there was something about that... and suddenly it was like he was Joe, and I had to get away." She shivered again, thinking of her desperate battle with the utterly confused John. "I think I may have hurt him. I just didn't want it anymore. It was like with Joe, only this time I didn't have to stay quiet and this time no one would hate me for hurting him."

"Then he stopped touching me, but it was already too late. I remembered again. Oh Light, I remember everything." she sobbed, hiding her face from Anton again. "I just couldn't look at him after I remembered so I ran. I should have done that when Joe first came to me. Should've ran away. I just thought that it would get better. Not with Joe, but I thought that... maybe someone would say something. Do something. anything..."

A tear running down his cheek as the words came from Sohvi, he hugged her even tighter as they drifted off to nothing.  The idea of her hurt like that, again and again until she had left, the pain made it difficult for Anton to breath.  She had never hurt anyone, he knew her, knew what she was like, she had done nothing to deserve what had happened to her.  No one deserved what had happened to her.  It was filthy, the idea that someone had done it to her and then told her that it was her fault, that no one had helped her, that they had simply let it happen.

"I know you didn't, Sohvi, I know."  The words were choked but Anton got them out nevertheless.  "There is nothing wrong with you, there never was.  You aren't the Dark One, you didn't 'tempt' him and it was never his 'duty'.  It was wrong."  That wasn't all that Anton wanted to say either.  She had kept it deep within for so long, what had caused it to come out now?  He had a suspicion brewing, but he didn't want to scare her, not now or ever.  So it was that he spoke as gently as he could, even as he tried to contain the grief of her pain that welled within.

"Sohvi.  I'm not mad at you, and I won't be mad at you, but I need you to tell me something.  What made you remember all this?  Why is it hurting now when I knew nothing of it before?"

"No..." she whispered, turning her head away from Anton. She'd never told anyone, simply because she already knew what their reaction would be. Besides, they already knew. Maybe they didn't know exactly what happened, but they had to suspect. Things like that didn't happen in the house you lived in without people at least suspecting. And her mother had known. She'd come to her, and placed her hand on her brow and asked her if she was ok, and she said, she hadn't been, but she hadn't been able to tell her. She had already known the outcome. She'd be turned out, on account of being a loose woman, the way her sisters always said.

Anton would do the same. She knew it, even though she also knew that Anton was nothing like the people she'd grown up with. How could he respond any differently. All the people she ever met would have said it was her own fault, for being who she was. Even old Marty. Even her mother. Didn't her mother mean just that when she left Sohvi behind, shaking her head and telling her husband that Sohvi wouldn't be able to work that day? And hadn't he done the same, when he looked at her and scowled, practically telling her that it was her fault that his eldest son took an interest in her?

"I never wanted it..." she whispered again. "I told him so, when he came to me. Like a thief in the night, always sneaking around, always silent. He told me that it was all fine. That he had to, because I was a woman now, and it was his duty to... to..." she fell silent, hearing his whispers as clearly as she'd heard them when it happened. "But if it was his duty, then why did he want me to be quiet about it? and why didn't he go to his other sisters? I don't understand. It was wrong. It was all wrong. Jon told me that. Told me that women like me were like the dark one to good, pious men like Joe." Her upper lip curved in a silent snarl. "But I never wanted it. I never asked him to come to my room at night. I never did..."