I had thought this entire thread was speculative. I didn't propose any of what I wrote in particular as anything definitive. Sorry if I sounded that way.

I don't know...I think just being shirtless or maybe naked would do it.

She is all prim and proper, yet she sure as hell likes wearing those nice revealing dresses.

Well, darlin', so do I....but shirtless....nuh uh!

HAha! Knowing RJ's seeming obsession with breasts...I can buy the shirtless possibility, however, I still don't believe Nynaeve would act merely coy about it if it were. It seems to me that she would have been completely MORTIFIED in front of people (esp. of mixed gender) shirtless!! But then again I'm new to this and I'm only on book eight...maybe there's something I haven't found out yet?

True, I've heard some pretty ridiculous theories. All I know is that there's no way prim Nynaeve and gallant Lan did it on the deck in front of everyone. She'd have never done it for one. The things that embarass the Two Rivers folks is enough to know that nothing like THAT happened. I would be willing to bet that all it was was a public kiss, like at the end of every Judeo-christian wedding. THAT alone would elicit the type of embarassment (a mere blush and comment) that we see in the text. Having to do something perverted would have ruined her for life.

I don't have any sources but from what I remember back in the day many marriage rituals included someone watching the marriage being consumated (look it up if you don't know the meaning) because the marriage was not final until they did. A marriage which was not consumated, I think still today but I'm not sure, can be annulled (made as if it never happened).

For queens and kings it was done, I think, by a member of the clergy or maybe a doctor but I don't remember exactly...and like I said, I don't have any reliable sources. Not because there aren't any but because I didn't put the time into it to research it. It is possible that the Wavemistress may have been required to view the consummation of the vows.

This, I think, would fit Nynaeve's comment about privacy...although I can't find the exact quote at the moment...I just spent upwards of 30 mins. looking....there should be a concordance in back of these books instead of a glossary!!

As an aside: I wanted to also mention how horrible it was for RJ to skip over telling us what happened at their wedding. After all the pointless details - he decides to be brief on this ONE point. I mean, in this book alone I've heard enough about breasts to last me for the rest of my life....but we get nothing but side comments about two MAIN character's being married by a group of exotic people!!! I think it's only proof that RJ had an audience in mind which were distinctly young and distinctly male.