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Everything posted by Luciena

  1. I posted it in the dorms (with a promise for cookies) .... what? Bribery works >.>
  2. You are evil sir! E-V-I-L! You belong in SG *recruits Hiarth for the Dark One* Mwahahahaha
  4. http://www.dragonmount.com/forums/topic/86834-red-ajah-january-discussion-week-1-which-books-do-you-read-and-reread-the-lord-of-the-rings/
  5. We were discussing pets on chat Wednesday evening with Shara, Leelou and Nolder. We all came up with the easiest pets to handle. I thought fish were the easiest as I had already had one. His name was Roland.... Yes Roland, judge me if you will. I was young impressionable and I liked the sound of the name. Roland was given to me as a birthday present by my brother's ex girlfriend. He was a beautiful fish, black and gleaming, but always swimming in his tank without a care the world. I was envious of the little bugger. Yes I know. Envious of a fish! I hear you snickering in the background. However think about it. He was taken care of, his tank cleaned regularly, his food miraculously appearing from the sky... my hand sprinkling it over the tank. To Roland I was his goddess. I looked after him. I cared for him. I loved him. He loved me back, at least I hope he did as much as fish can feel love anyway. This was when I was 14 years old. I moved when I turned 15, and Roland unfortunately did not move with me. It was impractical, plus planes do not allow pets on board without much paperwork and fees, and more fees, and quarantine.... (Not sure what the policy was on fish but I assumed it was the same) So I left Roland, my sister would take care of him, send me updates....until one day the updates stopped. Weeks went by, still no mention of my glistening black fish named Roland. I finally ask my sister when I speak to her, how's my Roland? The silence on her side made me nervous, she hesitantly said... "Roland is dead." I was calm. I ask quietly... "How? "You see I was doing some rearranging of the furniture and moved the tank close to the tv." She replied. Now my brother was a tech geek, so we had a monstrosity with wires and speakers everywhere.... "He blew up." She said to me. So my brother and my sister inadvertently killed my baby fishy Roland. He was killed by the vibrations from the speakers and the closeness to the tv. You could say he was a victim of technology poor little mite. Fare thee well my dear Roland. I was never the same. I am 27 years old now and still think of you. No more adoration for your goddess....
  6. How do you pick up the pieces of a broken heart? You try to comprehend what went wrong. You think continuously. Where did I go wrong? Where did he go wrong? Was I that insignificant? Just a simple click and it is all over. I wish life were that way sometimes. I wish everything could be as easily fixed with just one click. It is not though. It hurts like hell. Like a bleeding wound that will not heal. It drains me. It eats me up inside. The memories do not help. They remind me of the happy times. Of the jokes, the love messages, the voices. Oh! That voice that filled me with so much joy should bring me so much sorrow. I have lost myself. Maybe in him, maybe in who, he made me be. I have so much pain that I wonder if I scream…will I ever be able to stop. I want to disappear and hide under a rock, or just curl up and whimper every single moment of every single day. Instead, I pretend. I pretend I do not care. I pretend I do not hurt. I pretend it does not matter. I smile, but my heart is breaking inside. I joke, but I have lost laughter. I try to make others smile, because I have nothing to smile for myself. My heart bleeds. But does anyone care I wonder? Am I alone in this? They say time is a healer, how can it heal a wound that is so deep? I must be strong. I must resist. I must survive. All I think is why me? Love me! Want me! Choose me… No one else but me, as you said you would. As the person you showed yourself to me said, he would. No,…it was all a lie. I see you with others… it eats me up inside. I want to pick you up and shake you. I want to scream at you so I can get this all out. Silence is better. I must not break the peace…
  7. My Nyn has finished her clinical year. I kept suggesting to her and several others on here, that we should do something to commemorate this great achievement. She has worked hard and has finally made it! You are wonderful Nyn. Congratulations on finishing your clinical year! Best of luck in your finals to come. Lots and lots of Hugs and kisses
  8. I thought very hard of how to put this… I have problems in Real Life I need to deal with. They require my attention, and devotion. I never thought how hard it would be to write this. Saying goodbye… I have met so many wonderful people here. Each and everyone unique in their own way. All have had interesting lives and each with their own cross to bear. I have admired their courage and perseverance in times of adversity. Some of you I am lucky to call friends. To My Lovie (Ishy) I love you more than words can express. Your kindness and warmth has made me very happy. I will treasure your words forever. You touched my heart from the very first moment we spoke. You have the gift of making others love you. I am one of those people that love you. I have prayed for you so hard. I will continue to do so wholeheartedly, every second of every day… To Rey Rey My lovely Rey. You are funny, kind, sweet and always ready to take the piss. (I like that). I admire you for your hardworking attitude. Not many young people around that would dedicate their lives to save lives. I wish you all the best in your chosen field. To Nyn and Leelou I mention you together, because you are such good friends, and I care about you both, very much. I love your fiery spirits and strength of character. I wish I was more like you. To Millsy My awesome beard. Hang in there, all will turn out well. They say every cloud has a silver lining. Sometimes though it can be hard to see when the sky is dark and gloomy, but it is there you if you look hard enough. To Tal Never give up. When you told me you were going to start chemo again you made me very happy. Your character is admirable, and your knowledge in almost every field always left me in awe. I believe I have spoken to you about every subject imaginable, educational, financial, religious and many more. Your views were always refreshing and challenging. To Lily I do not know you very well. However, what I have gotten to know is that you are a great mum with amazing children. It shows in the way you talk about them. (a sort of long suffering sigh filled with unconditional love) I wish more mums were like you. To Davi and WBK Sweet Davi. That says it all. Don’t let anyone push you around, you deserve more than that. WBK. Life is hard. Most of it though, is determined by the choices we make. There is always a choice in every situation. You can chose to fight or you can choose to give up, giving up though is not an option in my opinion. So I say choose to be happy, to hell with the consequences. Quibsy What can I say about your greatness? All you have to do is say what’s in your mind and it all shines through. You have your Lii and you love each other dearly. Be who you are, we like you as you are. Toothy grin and all. :P To Mashi, I wish you all the best. You are a hardworking and sweet person. I was glad to have you as a mentor. Tonna I look forward to your status updates. They make me smile every time you vent. I see the guys scurrying around for cover lol Last but not least to Ranulf AKA Lonewolfshifter Try not to worry about everything so much. It will drive you insane if you let it. I am sure you make a great boss. Every time you are down, think chickens, ducks, sheep, cattle……Moocat! To everyone I have failed to mention, my apologies. I was getting a bit emotional there, but it doesn't mean that I think any less of anyone. “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. I regret to announce that this is the end. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell.”
  9. *nods* I voted "huh?" too. I like things the way they are. Don't fix what ain't broken and so long and so forth. Also no idea what it would mean to the whole Org. Luciena- Accepted
  10. Awww my captain and her warder!!! You guys cheer me up so many times, you are both wonderful people! *hugs and kisses to you both*
  11. To say that I will miss you would be an understatement. Look after yourself.
  12. Nyn!!!!! Gorgeous! I will try very hard not to ruin your rep! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
  13. Yes, I know. And I'm reading it in order anyway. Like I told you, OCD. Basel I totally get your OCD. I am like that when it comes to series, but have to say that Discworld was one that I broke the rules for. I could never get the books I wanted in order, so went a bit off course
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