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The Lighter Side of the Taint: Wide World of Sports




"Sure thing, Oh Great Lord of the Dark, but I'm not sure you'd survive being a kid show host. Kids can be vicious."



TBC: The Ter'angreal Broadcasting Company


Good evening. I'm Trobran Fel, and this is the afternoon sports news.


A score or more of Warders lined up at the door of the Hall in their finest, laciest gowns today for the inaugural "Dangerous in Drag Race." This new event is set to occur on a course laid around the Tower grounds. Foul was cried by some competitors when a female Warder showed up in pants and was challenged to, quote, "Be a man and put on a dress." After being approached by the judges for a quick discussion, a short scuffle broke out after which the replacement judges agreed she was allowed to compete as dressed.


The big Two Rivers Archery Contest was put on hold today when, in the middle of practice rounds, several badgers were released into the stands. Head of security Matrim Cauthon was unsure where the badgers came from, and said that Lord Perrin was personally holding him responsible until the culprit was found. There were no injuries.


There's a big crowd on the slopes of Dragonmount today, as the Ogier and channelers have finished a new construction for games and competitions. Our eyes and ears at the stadium is Jurael Kekan. Jurael, how's the big game looking for tomorrow?


It's looking pretty spectacular, Trobran. As the first major game of Powerball to be played, spectators have been lined up at the gates of the Lews Therin Memorial Stadium for the last week, which is even more impressive considering that's about the length of time they took to build it. Kicking off tonight will be the Black Tower "Lords of Chaos" and White Tower "Servants of Ball" so it's sure to be an impressive match.


Now Jurael, I had heard from the gleeman that there was some speculation about the lineup for the Lords of Chaos. Do you have more information on that?


Well, Trobran, the team captain of the Lords, Mazrim Taim, was almost pulled off the team for a traveling foul committed during practice when he opened a gateway and severely injured nearby spectators at the Black Tower practice field. It was determined accidental, however, and so officials have clarified the rules to allow for more space between the viewing stands and the play field.


Thank you, Jurael. That concludes tonight's report. Remember that there are several locations in Tar Valon where these viewing ter'angreal have been placed. Check these every morning and night for the latest news, and watch us in the afternoon for full sports coverage.

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