The Lost Ranger (OPEN)

[Shepherd]

With the sun setting on another winters day, Shepherd leaned back against a large snow covered boulder to watch the moon rise. At the top of the Mountains of Mist the wind was wild and it tore at his skin with icy fangs, but he didn’t feel the cold anymore. A long time ago, before he had ever heard the voices of wolves, or seen the world through gold-yellow eyes, Shepherd al‘Grey had lost the ability to feel cold.

 

The moon slowly ascended the cloudy road to the sky and with it’s rising Shepherd let his thoughts drift back in time. This had become his nightly ritual since coming to the mountains. Years had gone by, the Stedding left behind forever, but every night he relived his life among the Kin and, on especially long evenings, he would remember living with the Two-legs. Shepherd could still feel his mothers arms around him and hear the sound of his father’s laughter.

 

“Even after all this time… so long ago… your faces still haven’t faded from my mind… nor can my heart seem to forget…” His voice was just a whisper and the wind quickly swallowed it up, throwing it far from the mountain in an icy gust.

 

Again images of the past began to plague him as he saw the figure of a young woman dancing in a swirl of windblown snow. Her frame was petite but her movements spoke of strength and a unbridled passion for life. She was graceful and free. He wanted to be there with her, hold her in his arms again and run his fingers through her short dark locks. She would show him her special smile that was for him and him alone, and Shepherd would return the gesture with a lopsided grin.

 

The vision was agony of the most delightful kind, and he would have stayed like that, watching the snow swirls all night if the wolves hadn’t began to howl. Their fierce cries cut through the wind, echoing to the mountain top where Shepherd sat. They called to each other with wild abandonment, for the night was young and the hunt had begun. They were saying, ’Here I am!’ and ‘Let us run together!’ . Each voice in the dark was filled with life, rich and true. A part of Shepherd, buried deep down beneath his heart, longed to join them.

 

Shepherd groaned and looked down the mountainside and into the surrounding forests. That sound had once brought hope into his life, but now their voices made his blood pump faster with dread. The howl of the wolf was something to be cherished, yet, it was painful for him to hear now. He hated their cries. He hated everything about the wolves because they reminded him of something he could never have again. Hopelessness, that is what had filled him since the day she had left…

 

“Never!!!” Shepherd shouted to them. “I can never go back!! Do you hear me?!”

 

Rage born of despair fuelled his screams. “Stop taunting me!!! Let me be!”

 

He continued to shout at the night from his mountain perch until his throat became dry and his words were just hoarse babblings. “…ne… ver… never… go back… never… lea..ve… leave… me… in… peace… ne…ver…”

 

Shepherd turned away from the night and slowly walked to the deep cleft in the mountains summit. It was here, in this little hole, that he had hid from the world for so long. Running and hiding, but never forgetting. This had become a torture of his own making, a prison he had built for himself that was stronger than any iron forged cage, with locks that had no keys.

 

’Pup… are you still cold?’

 

Shepherd gasped from shock and quickly tried to pushed the voice away from his mind, but before he could even take a second breath suddenly a pair of large silver-grey paws knocked him down, pinning him to the ground. Warm vapor was rising from the wolf’s mouth as its jaws opened and lowered close to Shepherd’s neck ready to strike at any moment.

 

‘Getting slow pup. You cant even sense the hunter anymore. Are you to cold? Have you lost all feeling?’ Frozen Stream taunted him in the way an older brother would admonish a simpleminded sibling.

 

Shepherd tensed and quickly rolled away from the wolf. The fear that had gripped him swiftly turned to anger. He growled and leapt after the big wolf, his fingers gripping tightly to the thick grey fur and they wrestled and tossed about on the stone ground.

 

Frozen Stream’s fangs sank deeply into Shepherd’s muscular arms and the blood began to flow freely. He twisted around and caught the wolf up in a strong hug, lifting it off the ground and slamming him against the stone walls.

 

Their fight lasted for a long time. Both man and wolf hurt each other badly, but never were their attacks really meant to kill. There was a grudge to be worked out and only fang, claw, and fist could bring about the truth of the matter.

 

Finally, after Frozen Stream’s claws had raked across Shepherd’s face and long rivulets of blood ran into his eyes, he backed away from the wolf and kneeled. Trying to catch his breath and wipe the blood from his eyes, Shepherd yielded the fight.

 

’I’ve had enough…’ As an after thought and in honor of a time when he and Frozen Stream had been closer than family, Shepherd added, ’…brother… I give up…’ .

 

Frozen Stream’s growl was low and threatening. ‘No pup, you gave up a long time ago. This is the first life I’ve seen from you in many seasons. I came here to fight you, and you did not disappoint me until just now.’

 

‘Then claim your victory,’ Shepherd told the wolf, ‘and finish the kill.’

 

He closed his eyes and laid down on the ground, leaving his neck exposed for an easy strike. This was not the end he wanted, but at least it would be an end to his madness. He despised himself for what he had done. Abandoning his post as a Ranger, leaving the Kin, hiding like a coward in the mountains, and just moments ago he attacked a brother.

 

Shepherd heard Frozen Stream’s claws scrape against the ground as the wolf leapt forward. He braced himself for the pain, but just as quickly as it had begun, the wolf stopped and gently laid down beside him, resting it’s silver-grey muzzle on Shepherd’s throat. The wolf softly whined and nuzzled closer.

 

Tears spilled from the corners of his eyes as he lifted a hand to the wolf’s thick fir, running his fingers through its mane.

 

’I’m sorry… brother…’

 

Shepherd al’Grey

Fallen Blizzard

Lost Ranger

 

 

OOC: Anyone that wishes to join can. This thread is to get Shepherd back to the Kin. Right now he’s lost in his own self pity and needs to get the sense knocked back into him ;)

 

If no one joins I’ll keep posting and get to the point I need, but it would be fun to have company on this RP.

 

Any question, just ask…

[Lwena]

It was not often that she left the Stedding these days, which was why when she did leave, Leila made sure to make the most of the journey as possible – and this journey was definitely one of her better ones. There hadn’t been much excitement, which she’d learned was a good thing, but it had been eventful enough that she hadn’t been bored. It had also been a necessary journey, as she had needed to check up on a few contacts whom she hadn’t seen for a few good months now, which made it even more ‘enjoyable’, if the word could be used to describe what she felt about the trip. She didn’t enjoy doing things unless they had a purpose, and if she had not been returning to the Stedding with new information, she would have felt the entire trip a waste of time and regretted going, even if it was good to simply stretch her legs and relieve her feelings of being cramped and contained. She liked Wandering too much to stay in the Stedding all of the time, and just because she was the Watcher Leader didn’t mean she had to – though she found herself doing that anyway, so that she knew that there’d always be a Watcher in the Stedding in case something truly important needed to be passed on. True, they could always contact another member of the ‘kin in the dream, but…

 

Well, it wasn’t quite the same, or up to her standards. Leila was one of those people who didn’t like delegating, and so she didn’t do so unless she could help it. While she knew perfectly well she wasn’t the best at everything (or even anything), she couldn’t help but want to do it herself so that she’d know what type of job was going to be done.

 

Shaking her head at herself, the Watcher swept her hair from her eyes with one gloved hand, and then let it drop down to her hip to check that her crossbow was still hanging off of her belt comfortably. She didn’t ever like traveling through the mountains, but in this case it had been necessary, despite the cold weather, and so she never traveled without being able to easily reach her crossbow. If she was attacked, she knew that she’d be better off running and fully intended to do just that, but one could never be too safe. Chachin was still fresh in her mind, and she still couldn’t help but partially blame herself for managing to get caught, even if there was nothing she could have done. Crowds were often useful things, but they could also be a hindrance, as she’d discovered when she and Owen had gotten separated – no, that wasn’t something she wanted to have to deal with again. She was determined to at least be in a position to defend herself the next time someone decided to attack her, thus the crossbow. Exhaling slowly, she rolled her shoulder and glanced around, trying to decide if there would be a good place to make camp nearby before dark fell; she could see well enough at night, but didn’t want to have to worry about building a fire or setting up camp in the dark if she could help it. After a few moments of pondering, she dismounted and led her horse a short distance in the trees at the urging of a wolf from up ahead – Shadow.

 

‘Fallen Blizzard is nearby,’ The wolf maintained his distance because she’d warned him that he’d scare her horse, and the sudden flow of images made her pause, because she couldn’t see him. A few more steps led her into a small clearing and she frowned, hobbling the horse and taking care of him before going into the trees towards Shadow.

 

‘Fallen Blizzard?’ She blinked, trying to recall who that was – Shepherd al’Gray? She hadn’t seen him in… A very long time. He had left the Stedding last that she’d heard, and running into him was completely unexpected. Not unwelcome, though she had to wonder… Why had he left? And what was he doing here, in the middle of the mountains in the middle of winter? ‘Where?’ Shadow joined her, flowing from the trees like he was his namesake, and she gave the wolf a curious look before he took off at a steady lope which forced her to pick up her pace if she wanted to keep up with him.

 

‘This way.’ There was something more about the Ranger that the wolf wasn’t telling her, but Leila didn’t ask; Shadow wouldn’t tell her something if he didn’t want to, and Shepherd was Wolfkin. From what she remembered, he was kind, too, and a wonderful musician – she wasn’t worried about meeting him. She was worried about the setting sun, and how cold it was getting, but she’d thrown a blanket on the horse before she’d left, and made sure to cover her tracks so that no one could follow her to her campsite, so… it was safe enough. She wouldn’t freeze to death, in any case. Soon she was jogging carefully through the dusk-lit trees, Shadow backtracking every once and a while to make sure she was heading on the right track and seemingly taking too much pleasure in the hard pace he set; by the time she felt she was getting remotely close, she was definitely starting to feel a bit of a burn. I need to pick up those morning runs with Owen again, She thought ruefully, pausing a moment to catch her breath when Shadow commented that they were close. She was breathing steadily again momentarily and approached at a slower pace. The moon was high in the sky at this point, and she felt like she’d been walking for hours (though it was maybe one at most, she realized) and she was relieved to hear that they were close. It didn’t make any sense for Shepherd to be all the way out here, by himself, even though he’d left… Though she wasn’t sure why he’d left, or even how he could have left the Wolfkin; she was a loner, yes, but even she needed the pack. She needed that place at the back of her mind where she knew she could go and be safe and welcomed. Biting her lip, it didn’t take Leila long to locate two forms a short way from the trees, one human, the other wolf. She stepped from the cover of the woods, one hand nervously fingering the crossbow at her belt briefly before dropping back down to draw her coat around her tighter.

 

“Shepherd al’Gray?” She asked, narrowing her eyes a bit in the darkness; she knew it was him, but didn’t want to startle him – that said, her approach hadn’t been as silent as it could have been, so she supposed he might have already known that she was there. Taking a few more steps, Leila tilted her head slightly, the moonlight catching her golden eyes. “Is that you?” She blinked at the sight of what looked to be blood on his arm, but she couldn’t see his face – if he was injured, he needed her help, and... Well, she thought he might have needed her help anyway. No one left the Stedding without reason, after all...

 

-Leila Thatcher

Snowbreeze

Watcher Leader

[Shepherd]

Shepherd didn’t here the woman approach until it was to late to hide. He had let his mind wonder, hoping to numb the throbbing splinters of frustration that had caught in his heart. To much time wasted, to much regret to bear, and no way to lay down his burdened soul.

 

Her voice was hesitant, but clear and unafraid in the darkness, “Shepherd al’Grey? Is that you?”

 

Even more surprising to him then her appearance on the mountain , was the way her voice sounded so… kind. Until just then Shepherd had forgotten how warm the mere presence of another person could be. It felt like the warm touch of a summer breeze gently brushing his cheek. So soft, so wonderful, that it reminded him of all the good things life had once been. Truly, it was amazing how much a few words and a caring tone could convey.

 

He growled deep in his throat.

 

Shepherd had stopped feeling the cold a long time ago, but he had also forsaken the warmth of day after leaving the Stedding. Back then he had vowed to never let the cold touch him again, nor let himself find comfort in the light of day. It was a promise made with a broken heart and over time it had crippled his spirit. He had embraced the nothingness with no intensions of letting go anytime soon.

 

On unsteady legs he stood and regarded the woman before him with a stiff uncaring glare. He was taller than her by at least two hands. Over the years his black hair had grown long and the silver streaks that had been graceful accents, were now matted and tangled. His beard hadn’t been cut either, it covered most of the snowflake tattoo on his cheek, and the dark briskly curls reached down to his chest.

 

The only clothing he wore was a pair of paper thin leather boots, torn green trousers, the thick steel chain that he always carried was wrapped around his waist like a belt, and the bear fur vest he’d had since first coming to live with the Kin. In all he looked quite a mess, especially with the fresh blood drying on his arms.

 

“You should leave this place Miss. Thatcher…” his voice was still raw from the shouting tantrum earlier, but his words were spoken clearly and with a firm insistence.

 

Yes, he did finally remember who she was, but it had taken him a while to place her face and scent. The last time he remembered seeing her was at Wall’s Inn and that had been years ago. If he remembered correctly he had found her company very pleasant, for she had a sharp mind and a forthright attitude.

 

‘Another one trained by Owen if I’m not mistaken…’ The thought brought up an image of the Ranger leader, and Shepherd winced with guilt.

 

‘I abandoned my duty… I gave up that life.’ He growled again, anger coloring his thinking. ‘Why is she here? I have no place in that world anymore!’

 

Though, a part of Shepherd longed for this meeting to never end. He suddenly found himself reconnected to a life he had never thought to see again. Her coming brought hope.

 

‘A false hope… I know that… false….’

 

He turned his back to her and said, “This mountain is no place for you… Leila”

 

Shepherd took a few steps and then stumbled, He suddenly felt light headed.

 

‘When was the last time I’ve eaten? Days?’ The thought was fleeting as he tripped and fell. The lack of food, combined with the loss of blood from his fight with Frozen Stream, had made Shepherd weak and dizzy.

 

“This mountain…” he mumbled, “…is no place for… those that… have… lives…”

 

Shepherd al’Grey

Fallen Blizzard

Lost Ranger

[Lwena]

Leila stopped in her tracks when she heard the deep growl, her hearing sharp enough to catch the noise and her instinctive response for her hackles to rise. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she watched the Ranger stand, taking in his appearance in a detached manner that she’d only learned after starting to act as a Watcher – before she became a Watcher, she’d attached emotion to her observations, but now she realized that she couldn’t always let what she felt about something interfere what she did about it. She felt emotion, of course, but she could take in details about other people without letting them interfere, and that was what she did now – particularly after that growl. She had perceived it as a warning, one that she did not (or rather, would not) heed unless Shepherd gave her very good reason to leave. He needed her help, she could see now; aside from his wild appearance, clearly the result of having lived in the bush for so long, she could see the dark patches of blood on his arm and face, and catch the sharp metallic scent even from where she was standing. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of it, but that was the only change in her expression as he made it to his feet, towering over her. Leila wasn’t a tiny woman, exactly, but she was not unusually tall, either, and by no means a fighter. Really, if Shepherd got it into his head to make her leave, he probably could have.

 

But she could be stubborn, and she was going to be stubborn now. Shadow, who had remained in the trees while she’d approached the Ranger loped up to her and sat down beside her, watching the other Wolfkin with his tongue lolling out.

 

“You should leave this place Miss. Thatcher…”

 

His voice sounded hoarse, like he’d been screaming, but she did not get a chance to respond before he continued – and she found herself confused by his scent, besides. Leila kept mental tabs on a person’s scent almost without thinking about it, as it was what really gave her her advantage in the outside world – she wasn’t an overly skilled fighter, nor as diplomatic as some of her fellows, but she knew how to use her skills to her advantage when it was necessary. After making a trip to see some of her contacts, it only became more natural for her to keep an ‘eye’ on the scents her nose caught, though in the Stedding she had the tendency to ignore scent since she knew it could be misleading. Some of her confusion must have shown on her face, but she did not shove it aside – let Shepherd see she was confused, that she was only there to help.

 

“This mountain is no place for you… Leila”

 

Still, she did not heed his warning – his tone wasn’t angry, per say, but he’d growled again, and it was clear that he did not want her there. That was his problem, then, but she wasn’t going to leave, not while he was injured and there was clearly something amiss. She felt off-balanced, like something wasn’t quite right here, and she wanted answers. Shepherd had to have left for a reason, and as far as she knew no one knew here he’d gone – people back in the Stedding deserved to know what had happened, if nothing else. They were a community, they were the family that most had lost during the Howling. It was only right that someone knew he was safe, and someone more than her – she wasn’t close to him, not like some.

 

The Ranger had turned away by the time the stubborn frown had worked its way onto her face, but the expression vanished just as quickly when he staggered, stumbled, and fell. She moved forward quickly and decisively, heedless of whether or not he either wanted her there or wanted her help, and knelt down beside Shepherd, placing a gentle hand on his arm and examining the bite marks there, as if he had been fighting with a wolf. Her sharp ears caught his mutterings, but she did not address them directly for the moment.

 

“You’re hurt,” She said instead, her gaze flickering up to meet his. Shadow came up behind her, as if he didn’t quite trust the Ranger, but she just shot the wolf a dirty look and continued, “The mountain may be no place for me, but it is no place for you either. You need these looked at – I’ve got supplies just a short ways from here, and food. Would you come?” She couldn’t bring him if he wasn’t willing, and she well knew it, but – well, one step at a time.

[Myth]

He’d been traveling these mountains since he was a child, but the 12-foot tall Ogier had never ceased to find the mountains new with each journey. Their cloud-capped peaks looked down from the heights with the wisdom of the ages, but the rugged peaks and hidden valleys always held surprises, no matter how long you walked their slopes. Today’s walk had been especially remarkable, though. Normally, he encountered nothing aside from the myriad wild species that thrived here in the practically un-explored wilderness. He certainly had never expected to run into one human, much less two, and unusual humans at that.

 

So when he had heard the pain-filled yells shatter the illusively tranquil forest evening, the longing in the ravaged voice bouncing from mountain to mountain as it echoed eerily, hauntingly, the giant Ogier had been compelled to investigate despite the late hour and the coming darkness.

 

The detour, although unexpected, didn’t prove difficult although it took him about an hour to navigate. As Forge finally approached the source of the sound, the forest opened up as if someone had stayed here long enough to wear down the undergrowth. That was odd, but when he came across a game trail that had more than just animal prints on it, his suspicions were confirmed. He approached quietly, not knowing what he was going to find. He stayed well back under the cover of the trees, just in case. Old habits die hard, after all, but he didn’t remove either of the axes hanging from their loops on his travel pack. If a nasty surprise came, the oaken quarterstaff he held in a heavily calloused hand as big as a ham should be sufficient.

 

Preparing himself for anything, he still didn’t anticipate what he saw.

 

The shaggy, blood-covered man was surely the owner of the screams. His bleeding face and arms were just one sign that he had been living rough. The woman on the other hand, looked like any traveler he might chance upon while on the road, except for the fact that he knew there were no roads within leagues of here and she had a wolf crouched beside her. What he caught of their conversation indicated that the two odd humans had a history together, and that helped him come to a decision. The man didn’t seem to be seriously hurt, and the woman seemed intent on only discussing things.

 

He was about to leave when the man turned away and fell. Instinct took over, and Forge stepped out into the open. The woman didn’t notice him, her attention suddenly focused on the injured man, but her wolf companion did. As she knelt beside the man, the wolf moved closer to her while keeping an eye on the Ogier, but the woman ignored it.

 

“The mountain may be no place for me, but it is no place for you either. You need these looked at – I’ve got supplies just a short ways from here, and food. Would you come?”

 

He stood there motionless, his hands casually on his staff. He knew that his immense size often excited the impetuous humans, so he was careful when meeting new people. Especially unexpectedly. He didn’t want to hurt someone without cause.

 

In his most relaxed voice, Forge spoke up in a bass rumble that sounded like a bull’s. “Excuse me, but could I be of service?”

 

With a start, the woman whipped around and stared up at him with an open mouth. He met her shocked, golden-eyed stare calmly. A wolfsister! Without moving a muscle, he added, “Do not fear me. I am called Forge, and I heard his screams. Do you need any help?”

[Shepherd]

It was to much to take in, so many things were clouding his mind, and their voices soon felt overwhelming after his years of solitude. He had grown accustomed to the silence, with only his thoughts and memories for company. Being so close to another human and… the Ogier… both of them waiting for him to speak, to answer their questions, made Shepherd feel pressured and trapped.

 

He wanted to run far away and hide again, someplace deep and dark where no one would ever find him. It was an irrational feeling, almost an instinct reflex. He was already bone weary and weak, and the over stimulation mixed with a sharp felling of anxiety was causing him to hyperventilate.

 

Shepherd scrambled back from Leila and the Ogier. “Please…”. His breath was coming in ragged huffs, “…please… ju..st… just… leave…”

 

Black shadows began creeping into the corners of his vision as a fiery sensation began spreading through his chest. He looked down and the ground was spinning. Before long he passed out and fell into a dreamless void.

 

Shepherd woke to find himself laying next to a fire. Leila was sitting beside him, gently cleaning the wounds on his arms. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he pulled away from her.

 

“I’m fine, that’s enough.” His tone was gruff and cutting and he realized how rude he must sound. It wasn’t that he was ungrateful, but that he was out of practice talking with others. The common manners people show each other when conversing, those simple words like ’please’ and ’thank you’, he hadn’t used in a very long time.

 

He sighed and, not being able to look her in the eyes, said, “I’m sorry… and… thank you.”

 

Shepherd caught the Ogier’s scent, and saw him sitting on the other side of the fire. This wasn’t the first time he had come across the race, but he could not claim to really know that much about them either.

 

“and my thanks to you Ogier… ummm…. I mean… Forge was it?” He realized that the Ogier must have carried him to Leila’s campsite, and for that gesture of kindness Forge was owed a ’thank you’ at the lest.

 

Frozen Stream finally entered the ring of light cast by the fire. The wolf quietly walked over to where Shepherd was sitting and laid down next to him.

 

’And thank you brother…’

 

Unsure of what to say or do next Shepherd simply sat there and silently watched the fire burn. Letting the awkward atmosphere fade into the background, he tried to calm his mind and think.

 

There were so many things he should have been thinking about at that moment, but Shepherd found himself wondering about were the woman he loved was. He remember that day so long ago…

 

 

“No, nothings wrong.” she said, turning away from the house.

 

Shepherd’s smile slowly began to fade as Maeg masked her scent.

 

“Now you are starting to worry me my love.” Wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace, he then whispered in her ear, “Just tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it.”

 

They were standing in front of the new house he had built for her. It was going to be their home after they got married. He had wanted it to be a surprise, but the work had gone faster than he thought, and he couldn’t wait to show her the finished wedding present.

 

The house was larger than most of the homes that could be found among the Kin. It had an upstairs and a main floor, with a small root cellar. All the walls were made of stone blocks with timber support beams intersected among the building. In all, the house looked like a tiny castle.

 

Since Shepherd had been a stonemason before coming to the Stedding it was a natural choice to construct most of the house from cut stone. He had built it close to the quarry, and the cave where he lived, so that he wouldn’t have a long way to drag his building supplies. Even though he had chosen the location for convenience, the little clearing was quite beautiful. The trees surrounded the rear of the house while the front was open to a small green field that held plenty of room for the gardens he knew Maeg wanted to grow.

 

He couldn’t suppress his smile as he beamed with pleasure. “Isn’t this everything you wanted?”

 

She began to cry and said, “Yes… this is everything I ever wanted. You, a nice house, to have a family.”

 

Shepherd kissed her and began to wipe away her tears with the back of his fingers. “I love you Maeg.”

 

“And I love you to Shepherd al’Grey. Always… please remember that…” There was something in her voice that caught his attention. It was an odd plea, and he couldn’t understand what it meant.

 

“Of course, I know you love me. Always.” he laughed and picked her up, swinging her in his arms. “Always Meag, always…”

 

 

The next morning she had left the Stedding without a word to anyone. No explanation, no goodbye…

 

 

 

Shepherd looked away from the fire and over to Leila and Forge, pushing his memories away so he could focus on the present. “So,” he said, breaking the silence, “what are you two doing up here in the mountains?”

 

Shepherd al’Grey

Fallen Blizzard

Lost Ranger

[Myth]

Forge sat patiently, looking into the fire. This wolf brother had been having a hard time of it, so it was best if he gave him his space. After their swift voyage down the mountain with the unconscious man draped over his shoulder he had not said very much to the other human either, only exchanging pleasantries. There was no need to be hasty, as these humans so often were. He was halfway dozing off in the comfortable quiet, the only sound that of the gentle cracking and popping of the fire, when the troubled man’s voice shook him from his relaxation.

 

Shepherd looked away from the fire and over to Leila and Forge, and broke the silence. “So, what are you two doing up here in the mountains?”

 

Forge waited to see if Leila would answer first, but when she didn’t he answered with a chuckle in a voice that sounded like a large bull’s. “I was just up here to get away from all the hustle and bustle in the human world for a bit. Of course, it didn’t quite work out that way.” Grinning widely, his smile nearly breaking his face in two, he continued almost to himself, “We live in perilous times with the Shadow reaching out to touch the Pattern, so it’s no surprise that trouble can find its way even up here in the mountains. It seems no matter how hard we try, we can’t avoid our destiny. No matter how difficult the path we must walk may be.

 

“The Stedding I grew up in is just a couple week’s walk that way,” he gestured pointing to the south. “Most of the Ogier there are completely oblivious to the goings on Outside, happy in their ignorance. Unlike them, I choose to face my trials head on. I think the Aiel say it best, ‘Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared screaming defiance with the last breath to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day.’ Of course, the Aiel have a different outlook on life than most folks.”

 

Pausing for a brief moment while he looked directly into Shepherd’s shocked golden eyes, “I think a better question would be, what are YOU doing up here, alone in the mountains? Especially when your Kin are in a Stedding back over there,” he pointed with a thumb back over his shoulder to the north.

 

Forge waited, curious to see what the obviously surprised wolf brother would say.

[Lwena]

Leila had practically had a heart attack at the first sight of the Ogier – the fact that she actually showed her shock was testament enough of that, as Leila was not a woman easily startled, and when she was startled, she hid it well. However, she wasn’t perfect, and every so often something came along that essentially kicked her feet out from under her; this was one of those situations. What was most disconcerting was that she hadn’t noticed his presence until he’d spoken, which told her she mustn’t have been paying as much attention as she had thought she had been – or he was capable of moving much quieter than she would have guessed. However, she was grateful for his offer of assistance, especially when Shepherd decided that it would be a good time to pass out. His own startlement, combined with the fact that he obviously was not physically in the best condition, pushed him just a little too far, and if he was unconscious Leila knew that she would have had a problem on her hands if not for Forge.

 

It didn’t actually take them long to make it down the mountain to her campsite, and Leila couldn’t thank Forge enough – though they didn’t exactly converse as they walked, partially because Leila was still uncomfortable with the fact that he’d snuck up upon her and the fact that she was walking next to an Ogier, and partially because there wasn’t much to be said, yet. She wasn’t going to ask him what he was doing in the mountains since that wasn’t any of her business, and for a woman who made her living talking to people and getting information from them, Leila was terrible when it came to making genuine small talk. It didn’t take her long to build a fire and pull out her medical supplies – she had a small first aid kit with bandages and some common herbs in case of emergencies, something that she hoped she never needed but knew that if she didn’t have any of them she would end up needing them – and settled herself down next to Shepherd to treat the worst of his injuries. However, it wasn’t long before he woke up and pulled away.

 

“I’m fine, that’s enough.” His words were met with a frown, both at his tone (she was only trying to help) and the thought that he was sure he was alright; obviously he wasn’t, and she wasn’t about to let him walk off with a giant bite-mark on his arm or scratches all across his face. She might not have been a Sage, but that was just ridiculous. Even so, she dropped her hands into her lap as he thanked her, and then began to pack away some of the supplies until she could talk him around to letting her continue to patch him up. Because she was distracted, she nearly missed his question, and let Forge answer first, curious as to what his response would be.

 

She supposed what he said made sense, and found herself warming a bit to Forge – at least he was a man (well… Ogier) of action, not like what she had heard they were like. It didn’t make any sense to her to simply sit back and let things happen, and obviously he felt much the same, at least enough to want to be outside of the Stedding. However, whether or not she thought he was a good person didn’t stop her from being suspicious when he correctly pointed out the direction their Stedding was in – but she didn’t press him on that because he had asked Shepherd what he was doing in the mountains, and she was more curious about that than she was about the Ogier’s knowledge.

[Shepherd]

“Kin?” he laughed bitterly, “I don’t have a family anymore.”

 

Shepherd turned to Forge, his golden eyes piercing in the darkness. “I lost my home and those I cared about a long time ago.”

 

He looked to the far horizon, toward the Stedding. In his minds eye he could still see the village where most of the Kin lived. So many memories in that place. There was the infirmary, where he first stayed as a Wonderer, and then after deciding to become apart of the Kin he had moved into the Ranger’s Barracks. The years of training in weapons with Owen, hand-to-hand combat and tracking with Merlin, and all the skills needed to fight and live in the wild, he had learned it all at the Stedding.

 

Then there was his Stone Valley, the little piece of the Stedding he had called his own. The abandoned rock quarry had made a perfect home for him. Once, among the Two Legs, he had made a living as a Stone Mason. Being surrounded by the huge boulders, ringed with the evergreen forest, he felt a strong link to his old life and the few good memories it held.

 

It was there, in his Stone Valley, that he first meet Meag. She had been assigned to him as his student, a young Wonderer in need of the skills to survive as one of the Kin. Until then Shepherd’s duty as a Ranger had been mostly patrolling and training, a very solitary life, which suited him quite well. He found peace living among the King but always being slightly apart, like a Hermit, but still close enough to be in the community.

 

Though, as soon as Maeg became part of his life Shepherd spent almost every day with her. Without him even realizing it she slowly began to take up the empty space that remained in his heart from loosing his family. Her smile had filled his world with laughter, and her eyes could consumed the stars with their own brightness to bring light to the deep hidden places of his life. Before he knew what had happened, he was in love.

 

’We… we were in love. Maeg, I remember the first time you said “I love you”, and I can still feel the warmth of your lips on mine. But when you left… I couldn’t stand living in the Stedding without you there, I couldn’t bear the loneliness in a place where we made so many memories together…’

 

Shepherd sighed and began staring at the flames again. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Leila’s gaze, the shame cut him to deeply. As a Ranger he was supposed to protect all the Kin, and when he had fled the Stedding he had betrayed the all their trust.

 

“I don’t belong with the Two Legs anymore. When my family died, I lost my place among that world.” he said to Leila and Forge. “As for the Stedding… I can’t go back. I abandoned my duty, and betrayed them…”

 

Shepherd told them about Maeg and why he had fled from the Stedding. He didn’t know if they would understand how he felt or his reasons for doing what he did, but the simple act of saying everything out loud made him feel better.

 

“…and so, there it is. And that is why I live on this mountain now.”

 

 

Shepherd al’Grey

Fallen Blizzard

Lost Ranger

[Myth]

Forge listened patiently as the lonely, pain-filled wolf brother re-counted his past. The blazing fire burned down to embers before his tale was told. The gigantic Ogier found himself strangely connected to the man, as if they were similar Threads in the Pattern, just woven differently enough to make them strangers. Forge’s story, too, was one filled with loss and sadness and a feeling of being apart that even his close kin couldn’t overcome.

 

But that is where the similarities ended. This man had given up, forsaken his duty and surrendered… Forge just couldn’t comprehend that, especially from a brother to the wolves.

 

He stood up and strode to the fire, then bent down to stoke it, adding more wood because the night’s cold fingers wouldn’t let loose their grip for a long time yet. The routine movement gave him time to compose his thoughts, because at first he wasn’t sure it was his place to say anything. Of course, most Ogier took that attitude towards everything Outside, and look what it had done to the world of men. With a sigh that sounded like a huge oak swaying in the breeze, he decided the Wheel had put him here for a purpose, and it certainly wasn’t to keep silent. So standing, and putting his back to the fire, he looked down into the golden eyes of the broken man and began to do his part to help re-build what had been smashed: Shepherd’s life.

 

“As I said before, I think the Aiel say it best, ‘Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared screaming defiance with the last breath to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day,’” Forge said with a stern edge to his deep bass voice. “Of course, the Aiel have a different outlook on life than most folks. Which I also said before, and I don’t like repeating myself or saying things just to be heard. I already know what my voice sounds like plenty well enough.”

 

With a disgruntled snort, he continued, “It seems to me that you’re one of those people who look at life differently than the Aiel. You’ve decided to give up, and in the process you are happily trampling all over the graves of your loved ones.”

 

Shepherd whipped his head up to stare at the Ogier when he said that, a growl emanating from his throat at the insult. Forge waved it away dismissively.

 

“Don’t get mad at me,” Forge stated matter-of-factly. “You’re the one who has disrespected the love they showed you. You’ve turned your back on them and everything about you that they cared for. Not me.” After a slight pause, he carried on, “I expected more from a brother to the wolves…”

 

“Do you think they would give up just because life was hard? Do wolves cower and hide whenever the hunting gets hard in the deathly cold months of winter? No!” He chopped his hand through the air like an axe blade, his voice getting even harder although it carried just loud enough for the two humans to hear. “They keep running. They keep fighting no matter what. A wolf prefers facing certain death fighting a Myrdraal to yielding, and here you are unwilling to even fight.”

 

“There’s an expression in the Borderlands that I think hits the nail on the head. ‘Death is lighter than a feather. Duty is heavier than a mountain.’ You’ve forsaken your duty and all that you held dear, and now you think it a simple thing to throw your life away.”

 

“Well, I tell you this wolf brother, it is a coward’s way. Hiding from the world changes nothing, and the burden of duty you’ve tried to leave behind is crushing you. Take a look at yourself. You’ve done nothing but feel sorry for yourself, and what has come of it? We’ve shown more care about your life than you have, and I’ve never seen you before tonight.”

 

“Is that all there is then? When things get hard, you just give up and waste away in self pity until you die? At least if you jumped off a cliff you’d show the courage of your convictions, however misguided they would be. But you’ve been too weak to even do that.”

 

“You’re not the first to ever feel pain.”

 

With a last intense glare at the awe-struck figure on the ground, Forge turned his back to him and looked into the darkness, but not before a look of utter sadness flashed across his face. Decades of pain and sorrow wracked his voice as he spoke with fervent conviction. “The Creator made you with a purpose. He gave you a gift. You owe it to those who loved you, and Light blind you! you owe it to yourself to carry on.

 

“It’s not too late to re-claim your life. Sure you’ve made mistakes, but that just makes you mortal. How you live your life is what makes you a man.”

 

He trudged off into the darkness, missing Lily and not wanting to share his tears. He just needed a few moments alone to pull himself back together.

[Shepherd]

His laughter was bitter and hoarse. It grated the senses and was unpleasant to the ear, but Shepherd could not stop the rough laughter, no matter how coarse it was. With shoulders shaking, he held his sides, bracing against the pain of not being able to draw breath. He laughed until tears spilled from the corners of his eyes and he began to choke.

 

“Bloody hell Ogier, your right!” he said after finally catching his breath. “Why, it seems so simple now. All I have to do is stop feeling sorry for myself and… move on!” Sarcasm dripped like acid from each word as Shepherd’s anger boiled.

 

He almost never lost control of his temper, but Forge’s words had been to true, so accurate that they hit the dark wound Shepherd had been licking for far to long.

 

“Why, by the Light, all I have to do is go make a new home anywhere I want among the Two-Legs. They’ll accept me for who I am! They wont take a second look at my golden-eyes! In fact, I’m sure I’ll be able to start my life over again!” If his words had been flames, the entire mountain would have been set ablaze.

 

“Or, maybe I’ll just go back to the Stedding!” All of his pain and frustration came bursting out as he shouted at Forge, who was somewhere off in the woods. “I’ll just walk back to the Stedding and say, “Sorry I’ve been gone so long, that I left me duty, but no hard feelings right?’. They’ll let it pass like water under the bridge and then everything will go back to how it was!”

 

That dark laughter returned as he thought about Maeg. “And who needs love anyway? She’ll be easy to forget now, I’m sure of that. You said it yourself Forge, ‘I’m not the first to ever feel pain.’, so sense other people have been able to forget their past loves, why cant I? Of course, my love was so shallow that it could easily be erased!! How silly I’ve been to mourn the loss of something so trivial!!”

 

Silence filled the air once again after Shepherd’s anger burned out, leaving him hollow and feeling deep regret at his outburst. Forge didn’t deserve being shouted at, and Leila didn’t need to hear this foolishness.

 

‘I’m a grown man, throwing a tantrum. Truly I’m no longer fit for company, to many years alone with only myself to talk to…’

 

He sighed and cupped his face in his hands. He was tired and drained, but he still needed to apologize.

 

“I’m… very sorry you two…” Shepherd had been hesitant at first, not really sure if anything he said would make a difference, but he was determined to try. “…there’s no excuse for my behavior, or for what I’ve said, but I do ask your forgiveness…”

 

He looked in the direction Forge had walked off to, unsure if the Ogier was still listening after all his shouting. “Forge, you said it’s not to late to reclaim my life, but honestly, I don’t see how. What’s left for me among the Two-Legs? What’s left for me among the Kin?”

 

Shepherd turned to Leila, seeing if she had any answers to his last question.

 

Emptiness filled his eyes and resounded in his chest. “I tell you both the truth, I don’t have the strength to face my empty home in the Stedding. I cant stand the thought of still being lonely in a place that was once the source of such joy. I’ve lost two lives now and I don’t have the courage to start a third one.”

 

He stared down at his hands, though there was nothing in them.

 

‘Nothingness… that’s what I’m holding. Nothingness is what I’ve filled my life with since she left…’

 

“A heart can only break once… after that, it just starts to crumble…”

 

Shepherd was lost, and he didn’t know how to move on.

 

Shepherd al’Grey

Fallen Blizzard

Lost Ranger

[Myth]

Forge returned some time later with an armful of dead wood to fuel the fire. It wouldn’t do to let it go out on such a cold night as this.

 

Rekindling the fire inside Shepherd would take much more effort.

 

The giant Ogier set the wood down in a pile and then moved to stand near the fire’s warmth himself. He had heard the broken Wolfkin’s childish tirade, but he had little sympathy for such empty words. He decided against leaving the human to fend for himself, he was too far gone to ever find his way without some help, so he tried a different tactic. He prompted more soul-searching from the stranger with a single short sentence.

 

“Your choice is simple, but I never said it would be easy.”