Jump to content

DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY
blank

Dating

Recommended Posts

So I wanted to come up with a conversation that would be a little different from the usual Brown realms of chat and I realised that I know so many of you all have longterm partners or husbands/wives but we've never really had a conversation about dating!

 

I have been doing a lot of dating this year...mostly due to joining online dating after a spectacular dry spell. And I have discovered....I freaking hate dating. I know a lot of people are in love with all the "excitement" at the beginning but I hate the uncertainty of it all!

 

So I have some questions for you guys if you want to share!

 

1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?

 

2) What is the best date you've ever been on?

 

3) If you have a current partner, what was your first date like?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?

I think it depends largely on what kind of "dating" you are doing. If you are dating to really get to know someone better and spend time with them and possibly are dating long term, then that's all well and good, provided that it doesn't become one of those overly obsessive and unhealthy relationships.
Just going on a date to have a good time could be ok to I suppose, though that's not something I normally do. 

 

2) What is the best date you've ever been on?

Heh I'm not sure whether the first thing that comes to mind was actually a date :P This friend of mine and I already had plans to attend service at this Church in the city, and after that he said "I'm feeling spontaneous; let's go to the art museum" so we ended up walking around there most of the day and it was really interesting (there was a video game exhibit by the way and you got to play various classic video games for like five minutes each :P ) and then on the way home he bought me ice cream because I'd mentioned it sounding good earlier. 

But yeah... No idea what that was or how he feels or anything SO I suppose I should give an example that I know was a date?

V-Day with my ex. We hung out at his place most of the day and then went to Olive Garden. We were 16 and the waitress asked us if we wanted wine. We managed to maturely say "no not today" and carefully didn't look at each other until she'd turned the corner, and then we burst out laughing. 

 

3) If you have a current partner, what was your first date like?

Not currently with someone. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

> 1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?

 

I never liked it and rarely did what you'd call dating I think. maybe once I'm high school. otherwise I just hung out with the few people I liked until I stopped hanging out and then I got together with Basel.

 

i think we were both very seriously into each other from the first time we met and I was seriously into him from some months before so going places with him, dating I guess, was very natural and comfortable and happifying.

 

 

 

> 2) What is the best date you've ever been on?

 

I think the first time with Basel when he took me to honey's, a local bar and grill that's plays good music and serves good food was the most special. we walked hand in hand to the restaurant and I couldn't stop smiling.

 

then we went to the falls and next time I saw him we went on maid of the mists and I loved that but we discovered there that icy cold wind and serious water spray is more my thing and Basel got a fever like immediately. and I got to take card of him and keep him warm and that was its own special.

 

and I could list every other time but I won't :)

 

> 3) If you have a current partner, what was your first date like?

 

see above :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?


     Im not that big a fan of the "Go out every week somewhere on a date" kinda style. If we really like each other than it doesnt matter where we are or what were doing, we both enjoy doing it together. If one wants to go to a movie why not go with? If someone wants to go out to eat, lets go together. The occasional special nights of going to a fancy restaurant or doing something different are of course amazing, but they are amazing because they are irregular.


 


Im currently abit jaded on this though, since my last dating experience didnt end well.   


 


2) What is the best date you've ever been on?


      We werent serious at the time, but it turned into a date. A bunch of friends decided it would be fun to go to a movie together but eventually for one reason or another everyone but myself and a friend canceled so it ended up just being the two of us. We decided we might as well go see the movie anyway because we already had tickets. Afterwords went and got some dinner. Even though it wasnt really planned to be just the two of us it ended up being one of the best times I remember spending with them.


 


Edited by Lenlo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(1) I think it really depends upon how one defines 'dating' as well as the purpose of engaging in it. If it's to get to know someone that is fine, but I think it is different from exclusively dating one individual (in the old days 'going steady'). The main thing is communication though so that both parties know exactly where they stand.

 

(2) I'm not sure it technically qualifies as a date, but I remember a particular evening out stargazing on a hillside near a lake with a giant fountain in it. :) It was cold, but I liked it anyway. Then, there was also a meteor shower.

 

(3) This is a bit weird I guess, but I really don't remember the first date I went on. We were friends for a long time, so it felt like a natural progression of events and there wasn't a specific "ok, this is our first date" moment. However, the first time he bought me dinner was at a Cajun restaurant downtown. It was great.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?

 

somhow as time goes on i understand less what exactly dating is/was supposed to be by other people definition. ive tried having romantic relationship withh few people, which was basicaly just im their friend plus i have sex with them alot, so i dont know, i wouldnt call all the good times i had with them anything different  than the good times i have with friendss who i dont have sex with. my opinion of romantic relationshipps is very low since they never work, thats about all i know how to answer.

 

2) What is the best date you've ever been on?

too speciall to really share besides woulld have to censor too which further cheapens it so not sharing

 

3) If you have a current partner, what was your first date like?

Im currently i guess in relationship with my mentor in the priesthoodd, and the question of whats dating suposed to be comes up because first thing romantic i everr did with him wasnt anything resembling a date like what other peoplle do like going to film or picnic or something. i basicaly just brought up i like him whil visiting him and asked if he wanted to hit the skkin and he was ok with that and thats that. first and onllly thing that resembled a date, i made him dinner and even picked flowers earlier and invitedd him over but he right out said that it was ridiculous thingg to do so lol never tried that again. i guess the good thing about being in relationship with him is he doesnt expect gifts or spending time with me much outside of teaching so it isnt ridiculouslly materialistic or demanding of energy though do feel lots for him so i think this will be one sort of relationship that actully work
Edited by WildTaltos

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been married almost 27 years. O.O

 

I don't like parties (in general) or bar hopping or anything formal. We made each other dinner, went on bike rides, camping, hikes, walks, bird watching, fishing, out for gelato and we love watching football at sports bars.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In your guys' opinion (because this is something I've been pondering lately) but what makes it a "date" not "just friends hanging out" or whatnot?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To me it would be the way you feel about t. The preplanning. Setting the date. We will go out at this time and we will do this and it will be romantic and not just cause we!re buddies.

 

Plus you dress up and shave your legs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My answers will probably be very short for this. Oh well.

 

1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?

I'm not interested in dating whatsoever, to be honest. I guess that's because I don't particularly want to be in a relationship.

2) What is the best date you've ever been on?

I have never been on a date.

3) If you have a current partner, what was your first date like?

See above.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In your guys' opinion (because this is something I've been pondering lately) but what makes it a "date" not "just friends hanging out" or whatnot?

We were in our mid twenties and met at our synagogue. It was sort of unspoken but both of us were looking for partners of the same religion. I was not going to marry outside of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't remember many pre-planned dates. We were both so busy that generally it went along the lines of "have you had dinner yet?" "no" "ok, let's go grab food" and that's not really what I'd call a date.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Plus you dress up and shave your legs.

 

Bahahhaa, that's my kind of date definition   XD   Although by this point, going out with a girl, we both just sort of groan and ignore it XD

 

Ok, actually answering the questions,

 

1) I love going on dates with my girlfriend. We don't go out all that often, (to be honest, we don't even really see each other all that often), so when we do go out, it's always a lot of fun.

In terms of dating in order to find a partner or just to go out etc, I've not yet done it, so I'm withholding judgement on that until I've experienced it. I do feel that it's probably something which I'd like, but it depends on the date and the person, so I guess I'm for it as a concept, but against it as a potential social disaster.

 

2) Best date? Aaaaah, well, ahahhahaha...hmm...I feel like I'm forgetting something massive now...But we went out to see Macbeth when we'd been together for six months. We'd gotten quite close through reading the play together while we were inseparable on this chamber tour, so I got us tickets to go and see it staged, and then we went back to hers and just had a very relaxing, cuddly time. Ooooor maybe when she came over to my college and we watched 80s movies (the only ones left in her house that I haven't seen :p) and cuddled and napped, but I don't know whether that counts as a date, seeing as we didn't actually go anywhere...

 

3) First date? Crap. Hm. Well. I don't know! We had so many not quite dates because neither of us knew the other was gay yet!!! XD I'll just go with the first one after we made it official, which was going out and having lunch, and going to see a movie at the cinemas. Thor 2, I believe. We kissed afterwards, and it was her first kiss and then she was beaming the whole afternoon. Made me feel nice and special as well. She doesn't smile as often as I'd like, so that's a good memory.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1.) Don't really care. I tend to fall into intense flings and these sometimes last long enough to have time for a date. But everytime I go out, I always feel like I'm under intense scrutiny and things become awkward and uncomfortable and unenjoyable. So I just don't do it.

 

2.) Um... I honestly don't remember one that stands out.

 

3.) I'm thirty-three years old, I've never been in a committed relationship, I don't see one happening soon. Dates are just? Unnecessary torture.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

3) First date? Crap. Hm. Well. I don't know! We had so many not quite dates because neither of us knew the other was gay yet!!! XD I'll just go with the first one after we made it official, which was going out and having lunch, and going to see a movie at the cinemas. Thor 2, I believe. We kissed afterwards, and it was her first kiss and then she was beaming the whole afternoon. Made me feel nice and special as well. She doesn't smile as often as I'd like, so that's a good memory.

Random coincidence, Thor 2 was also the first (and so far only, unfortunately) movie I took Cindy to. I don't get the whole Tom Hiddleston worship. If it wasn't for my favorite Doctor, I could have waited to Netflix it.

 

Cindy already pretty much answered the questions for me. As to the first question, my opinion before Cindy came along of dating was something that seemed tremendously hard to get your foot in the door. I would always have everyone that I was interested in either liked me solely as a friend, or was already in a relationship. Half the time, by the time I learned their relationship was over, they were already seeing someone else. I had pretty much given up on ever finding anyone by the time Cindy came along, and it took a great deal of persuasion on her part to get me to take a chance on trying for anything more than an online bond between us despite the distance involved. But I'm happy that I did.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmmm I seem to recall you were the one doing the persuading cause I would never have considered meeting up with anyone I'd met online if you hadn't talked me into it.

 

And I guess we'll have to find time for another movie :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) I like dating, done it a couple of times in the romantic sense but mostly I have gone on many lunch dates with family and friends. Those for me are generally 1 on 1 dates where I get a chance to hang out with a friend and have a good quality conversation with them. It allows me to catch up with them in a way that I can't in a group environment. Dating may be purely for romantic type reasons, but dates are under no such restriction.

 

2) I dunno, my wife and I have gone on a lot of dates together over the years so one of them.

 

3) Met my wife through DM, and being on a different continent we didn't actually go on a first date for 4 months, when I flew to Sweden. I think we went to an Indian restaurant and then saw Quantum of Solace. Was fun.

 

In your guys' opinion (because this is something I've been pondering lately) but what makes it a "date" not "just friends hanging out" or whatnot?

 

To me a date is a chance to hangout with a singular person with the intent of spending time with just them. While that usually means going on a date with Raena and I have dated a couple of other girls closer to home before we were together, but as I said above I often go on lunch dates with family and friends. Those are obviously not romantic in any way, but can be lots of fun. Great way to spend time with and get to know people better. Be warned though, if you are on a date with somebody of the opposite sex, the wait staff almost always assume that you are on a romantic type date and will give you one bill - usually to the guy. This happens to me about 95% of the time, whether I am with my sister, cousins or friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) What is your opinion currently or previously on dating?

 

I hate it. I don't see any other way to find a relationship, and that is something I do want. I guess I should say I hate first dates. I'm seeing someone now where we've gone out a few times, but not many. I'm comfortable with him, so I don't mind dating so much right now. 

 

2) What is the best date you've ever been on?

 

Where we cooked a meal and ate it together. I love doing things like that. 

 

3) If you have a current partner, what was your first date like?

 

No current partner at this time. 

 

 

 

 

In your guys' opinion (because this is something I've been pondering lately) but what makes it a "date" not "just friends hanging out" or whatnot?

 

 

I think it's all in your intention. Do you see one another as friends or more than friends?

Edited by LilyElizabeth

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

does it help to know that we're all vulnerable all the time and that life is very short and embarrassment is much less likely to kill you early than bitter regret for what might have been so you might as well go for it while you still can?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and I still go on "dates." It's a method of getting away from Matthew.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

does it help to know that we're all vulnerable all the time and that life is very short and embarrassment is much less likely to kill you early than bitter regret for what might have been so you might as well go for it while you still can?

Intellectly, I understand it and I try to live by it.

 

But right now? I want to crawl into a hole with all the other reptiles and never talk to anyone again.

 

A day of hard work and a beer will set me straight. u_u;;

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think relationships are about shared vulnerability. When you get to know someone and they get to know you, what you're essentially doing is giving each other the power to hurt each other in ways that other people usually can't. But at the same time, you're trusting them not to.

 

I just realized why Hiarthbeorn is "The Oddly-Eyed One"...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

alcohol is an important part of dating. and loss of long term recall.

Indeed.

 

I love this thread - I think it's really interesting to hear everyone's perspectives!

 

Here's some more questions for you.

 

1) Do you (or did you for those with SO) have a list a "must have requirements" or "dealbreakers" that are unique to you? Has anyone made you break them?

 

2) How quickly did you (or would you like to) go from dates to being in a committed relationship?

 

3) I know some of you managed long distance relationships - how did you manage it? I know the idea of it...the effort of it makes me shake my head in admiration. What do the rest of you think of long distance relationships?

 

Also, feel free to share any stories and stuff outside the questions I'm asking. I had a first date on Saturday it was nice and we have dinner reservations for Friday night. Though when my mum asked me all about my date, I told her that I'll tell her personal details about him if I became serious about him. She then huffily replied that I am never serious about them and she just wants to know to see if there is a pattern in why I reject them. Thanks mum!  :tongue:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...