Should Lily and Ishy Bond? Here's your chance to stop it!

[Moon Sedai]

Lily and Ishy have decided to cour'sourva bond. It is our job, as members of Shayol Ghul, to remind them of all the reasons why this is a bad idea. In this thread we will "roast" the both of them, and after Four Days of that, they should change their minds. Everyone who roasts this misguided couple will get 10 points. 

 

And I'll sweeten the pot. I have a lot of points left for this month. I will also give points to people who roast from my personal pool. 

 

Oh, and please refrain from spamming this thread with GMTs until after the roasting is done. (You can post images if it is related directly to spamming, but this is a thread to roast the Dark One. We need to be serious!)

 

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Let's take a look at Lily, our Lady Dark One. We all know Lily. She's dark, mysterious, and beautiful. Our Lady Dark One is a thing of pure evil. She out evils all the evil disney villanesses: Malificent, Ursula, the Evil Queen, and Cruella deVil, to name a few. Merely speaking to our Lady Dark One is like beholding the Dark Queen Galadriel: 

 

Lily is so  dark and so menacing that Ishy just won't be able to handle the bond. His poor little Quagmire brain will explode. 
Ishy, I beg you, bro... Don't go through with this Bond. Lily is only wanting to suck out your soul and wear it as a necklace. 

You won't be able to handle it.

I know, you're thinking "Giggity!" but NO! This is not the kind of enticement you need in your life. 

 

And Lily: 
There's got to be something wrong with our Lady Dark One if she is wanting to bond ISHY????? 

I mean- look at Ishy. He wears that Glenn Quagmire avatar for a reason. he'll flirt with anything that has mammary glands. And he leaves slime in his path. It's why he's such a good scum hunter in mafia games: because he is one in real life. 
Lily, why would you want to sully your dark beauty with ishy's slimy soul? 
 

 

 

[michellem]

Lily... Just, don't! I mean, I have him in my head already. And trust me, you don't want those hangovers! Half the time all he'll do is try to grope and fondle you, when he isn't shitfaced drunk, then that's all he does. But he's a total tease and will never put out. You just really don't want his impulses jumping around in your brain, just trust me on this one!

 

 

Ishy, come one dude. She embarrases you in mafia games because she's ten times the player you are, she's evil incarnated and she'll play games with your head (and no, not the fun head) until suddenly you'd agreed to walk around in just a leopard thong and nothing else. And I know you say you look good in anything, but lets face it, guys and thongs is a no-no. Just save yourself from the embarrasment right away.

[Leelou]

Lily - Think of how bonding Ishy is going to be: you will get hangovers from his drinking, blush from his flirting and be elated from his surfing. Are you sure you really want to put yourself through this emotional turmoil?  

 

Ishy - You really think you are worthy to bond Lily? She is the Dark One, a kind spirit, intelligent and has kick-ass legs. This will bond will weigh heavy on your psyche. 

[Davrick]

Lily - Ishy is beneath one as powerful as yourself.  Don't bring yourself down to his level.

 

Ishy - She's the DO!  You can't trust her.  If you displease her well it was nice knowing ya.

[lonewolfshifter]

Lily - Don't ever bond with someone who's not even worthy of your glance.  Not good, no class at all.

 

Ishy - She'll be the death of you.  She's always going to have her say and you cant do anything about it coz she's DO.  Not a good feeling for a man. 

[Nynaeve]

Lily - For shame.

 

Ishy - For booze.

 

 

 

 

Nyn

[Verbal32]

This is possibly the worst bond possible.  Lily, the dude is simply looking to torment you.  Not sure why the hell you'd want to sign up for that.  He's not even that funny.  Sure, you can skip quarters off his @$$, but that doesn't mean he's worthy of a bond.  Use your head.

 

And Ishy.......dude.  Stick to magazines and late night TV specials.  It's more your game.

[Moon Sedai]

This is possibly the worst bond possible.  Lily, the dude is simply looking to torment you.  Not sure why the hell you'd want to sign up for that.  He's not even that funny.  Sure, you can skip quarters off his @$$, but that doesn't mean he's worthy of a bond.  Use your head.

 

Yet another reason NOT to bond, Lily: Verbal knows this little fact about his butt. 

[Nynaeve]

Verbal is vastly familiar with a$$es across DM.

 

 

 

Nyn

[Verbal32]

Verbal is vastly familiar with a$$es across DM.

 

 

 

Nyn

 

"My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you.  I did gagoogidy that girl.  I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus.  And I am sorry."

[Nynaeve]

You're not sorry.

 

 

 

Nyn

[LilyElizabeth]

This is the best you guys can do? Seriously? C'mon I know some of you know me well enough to roast me good. 

[Verbal32]

This is the best you guys can do? Seriously? C'mon I know some of you know me well enough to roast me good. 

 

Is this permission to go all-out?

 

Beware of what you ask, m'dear.  ;-)

[Moon Sedai]

go all out, verbal, How often do you get to roast the Dark One? 

[John E. Kelley]

It just reaffirms what I've always known. No fault can be found with me.

[LilyElizabeth]

Yes, Verb. Please do. 

[Moon Sedai]

Fault? Heck, you FORREST GUMP your way into winning when you win mafia half the time. 

[Panchi]

Lily, bonding Ishy is not a good idea. At all. Aside from all those things said about him, he still thinks that he has no fault. He drinks so much that he stinks of drinks. He probably has a secret store house of things which he will never give you access to and hide there. He would interfere with your work, flirt with everyone in sight, destroy everything and...do things which I don't want to speak out loud. And you want to bond him? I thought DO had better taste.

 

Ishy- do you like death so much? DO would kill you and enslave your soul for eternity. You will never be able to do anything on your own and will be her mindless slave and probably in a woman's body. Do you want to risk that? And I thought that mafia taught you something :shakehead:

[Moon Sedai]

I'm beginning to think you guys want them to bond...

[Panchi]

I would want them to bond if it were possible that anyone could handle Ishy without suffering or be around Lily without feeling terrible fear. But both things aren't possible

[lonewolfshifter]

Ishy..  your life be like:  ouch! no!  please dont!  stop it!  not that!  it hurts!  you're hurting me!  stop i'm begging you!!  i don't want this anymore!! i'm not your slave!! i'm already bleeding!!  no noooo NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

Lili.. your life be like: yuck! disgusting! ewww!!!  what is that!!??  are you for real!!??  wth!!? wtf!!!?  you're revolting!!  low iife!! eww eww eww stop that!!  *puke* pukes some more*  *non stop puking* 

 

Think about it.

[WWWwombat]

Isn't Ishy a ginger? What's with all these people trying to mind trap gingers? IT'S A TRAP IT DOESN'T WORK ON THEM. Also, he'll drink all your Jameson and then start rambling about Barry Goldwater or coming on to Wolfie. The Jameson is probably the only reason he wants to bond Lily anyways. Why else would someone willingly submit themselves to life in Arizona? That place is like the Blasted Lands from the unbearable heat right down to the messed up timezone. Then again, when you live in South Carolina, I suppose even Arizona is an improvement.

 

As for Lily, she's as fickle as they come. Yeah she'll put up with you for a little while, but once all the whiskey is gone, she'll drop you like a bad habit. If you guys do bond, I give it three days before Lily comes down with chronic "headaches" and a week after that until Ishy disappears somewhere in the desert. And don't forget, Lily doesn't really "get going" until D3 anyways so you're pretty much doomed to be left frustrated, dehydrated, and hungover in the middle of a desert.

 

But hey it's a free country, right?

[John E. Kelley]

Wtf? A ginger? I have a soul, thanks. Brown and grey son.

[WWWwombat]

You used Just for Men Touch of Gray didn't you?

[LilyElizabeth]

Now that's how it's done! 20 pts to Wombat