Disorder in Court: Trial of the Admin formerly known as Kathana

[Brandie]

I've had the opportunity to meet Jennifer Sedai twice and both times she has shown her unwavering dedication and love for the WoT series and this community. When I was a Memory Keeper in Charleston this past year, she helped calm my nerves with her easygoing manner and happy disposition (the pizza helped too ). When I went to JordanCon, I was also nervous (first con) but she put together such a wonderful event for the community it was very obvious how happy everyone was to be there and even though she was busy she took the time to chat and take a picture with all of us DMers.

[JenniferL]

....crap. I'm so screwed now. 

[Leelou]

I've had the opportunity to meet Jennifer Sedai twice and both times she has shown her unwavering dedication and love for the WoT series and this community. When I was a Memory Keeper in Charleston this past year, she helped calm my nerves with her easygoing manner and happy disposition (the pizza helped too ). When I went to JordanCon, I was also nervous (first con) but she put together such a wonderful event for the community it was very obvious how happy everyone was to be there and even though she was busy she took the time to chat and take a picture with all of us DMers.

 

Are you sure you met the same Jen I did? I was quaking with fear to be in her presence.

[Daruya]

I've had the opportunity to meet Jennifer Sedai twice and both times she has shown her unwavering dedication and love for the WoT series and this community. When I was a Memory Keeper in Charleston this past year, she helped calm my nerves with her easygoing manner and happy disposition (the pizza helped too ). When I went to JordanCon, I was also nervous (first con) but she put together such a wonderful event for the community it was very obvious how happy everyone was to be there and even though she was busy she took the time to chat and take a picture with all of us DMers.

 

There goes your reputation, Jen!

[The_Fnorrll_Reborn]

 

It's clear she is evil.

 

 

You're right, Nynaeve is evil. Off with her head!

My real mother has spoken. Her word is law. Someone bend Nynaeve over a wooden block. And tell her it's not for what it's usually for.

[Davrick]

Well Snarly how about you bend Nyn over the block?

[The_Fnorrll_Reborn]

Lets get this officially under way.

 

Jenniferl, formerly known as Kathana Sedai, once the Amyrlin Seat under the Light, as current Sword Captain of the Warders Guild, it is my duty under the law to inform you of the charges brought against you in the presence of the Amyrlin Seat, Elgee Sedai, blessed by the Light.

 

You have been accused of the heinous crime of forming the organisation referred to as the White Tower Social Group, as well as its former subsidiary, the White Tower Role Playing Group, and sustaining it for a number of years. Your crimes include luring members with cookies, causing them to lose a number of valuable years of their life, forcing them to harsh and abject slavery in positions of "staff service," and an innumerable amount of lurid jokes and comments.

 

How do you plead before the Amyrlin?

 

Who provides evidence against this woman? And are their any who will stand in her defense?

[Daruya]

*stands up*

 

I will provide evidence about this woman's guilt, if it pleases the court.

 

When I first joined this site, the Amyrlin was a woman known by the name of Kathana.  After lurking for a time, I finally joined and found myself utterly enjoying the site and the people here, especially in the White Tower. 

 

I managed to escape the Amyrlin's notice for the most part for quite some time; then, I was lured by the thought of cookies and pudding into applying for the position of the Head of the Blue Ajah when it became vacant.  The cookies . . . the cookies were all I could think about!  And then, horror of all horrors, I was notified that I had been selected for the position of the First Selector . . . and that I would be REQUIRED to file reports and perform administrative tasks before the promised cookies would be provided!  I quailed in fear but the cookies . . . well, the promise of those delicious, delectable cookies drove me on.

 

So, you see, members of the court, this woman is guilty as charged of the crime of forming the organisation known as the White Tower Social Group and sustaining it for years and making so enjoyable and irresistible that I remain here to this day.

 

*takes her seat and resumes listening*

[Besolyn]

*stands up*

 

Mother, if I may...

 

Sisters and Brothers of the White Tower, I am shocked at these accusations against Grand-Mother Jen! I of course do not call into question the words of any testimony here, but, while it is true that the accused was our first Amyrlin, please do not forget that she was not alone in this supposed crime. If we are to discuss those ancient days, there is a darker and more sinister presence that we must acknowledge, and I put forth that our beloved First Mother was coerced and trapped herself by the miscreant known only as "Jason". If she has used any means necessary to garner order for the White Tower, she is not to be blamed as the same was done to her, but rather commended for her glorious work under such horrible strain.

 

But if you do decide to "off with her head", I call dibs on RJ's hat.

Thank you.

 

*returns to her seat*

[Arie]

Pfft. Kathana was nothing but lovely to me. (Even though I annoyed her many occassions). I think I'll sit on her defense. 

 

*starts to burn away evidence against her Great-Mentor*

[Vanion]

*Stumbles into the court room with his hair a mess and no pants on, a mostly empty bottle of whiskey clutched in his right hand*

 

...where the bloody hell is...

 

*notices the room full of people and tilts his head to the side, idly scratching his beard*

 

...this ain't where I left my swords... And don't you be bending my Aes Sedai over some wooden block..! She's classier than that!

 

*throws the bottle at Fnorll to illustrate his displeasure!*

 

Awwww... There was still some whiskey left in that...

 

See what you've done now Jen?!

 

*cries silently for his lost whiskey, clutching at his wrinkled shirt*

[BenTGaidin]

Let's see... where did I leave that closet full of skeletons? *grins*

 

Setting aside that she appears to have mislead the court regarding her role in the creation of the White Tower, and her well-documeted abuse of the critical resources of our pudding mines, there are more serious matters at hand.

 

For the court's consideration, I submit the "Incident with Sathinar" wherein she did willfully abandon her position as Amyrlin in a time of the Tower's need -- while Darkfriend assault threatened the very walls of Tar Valon, Kathana was off cavorting with known disruptive elements, leaving the Hall of the Tower in disarray.

 

Additionally, consider the string of Keepers that she has discarded through the years -- clearly driven mad by the demands this woman placed upon them, driving them to the limits of their sanity to fufill her mad whims.

 

And of course, there's this JordanCon thing. Obviously a cult devoted to unquestioning obedience; I expect the Consuite to serve a better grade of Kool-Aid next time, by the way.

 

*grins*

[King of the Reds]

Kathana is an evil monster! She threw me in her dungeons and for months and months she held me there. No excuse of a trial, never telling me what my crimes were. Just locked me away and forgot about me.

 

Then she threw me to the will of the radiantly beautiful Red Ajah sisters and told them to have their way with me. For years and years, lovely Sister after lovely Sister I was at their whim.

 

Finally, and most foolhardy, when I moved down south she sought to make me into a slave of her and Jimmy's household. Fix this, hang that, bring a saw, drive me to this show, it was a horror!!!

 

She doesn't deserve our mercy. She is guilty!

[Elgee]

King of the Reds! I thought you were a myth O_O

[King of the Reds]

I'm more of a Hero of the Horn. Like a whirlwind I show up to right a wrong (like putting this tyrant away) and then like the wind I am gone again...

 

Or I just forget to login for a few years. One of the two.

[Daruya]

Which leads me to wonder which of the Red sisters has been keeping you captive hidden all these years . . . LOL!

[King of the Reds]

A gentleman never tells. ;)

[Barmacral]

I too will speak against this horrid woman. She was negligent in her duties to her pudding mine, insulted annoying people behind their backs and to their faces when I egged her on and once she got drunk and sat in my lap without her panda husband's permission!

[JenniferL]

Kathana is an evil monster! She threw me in her dungeons and for months and months she held me there. No excuse of a trial, never telling me what my crimes were. Just locked me away and forgot about me.

 

Then she threw me to the will of the radiantly beautiful Red Ajah sisters and told them to have their way with me. For years and years, lovely Sister after lovely Sister I was at their whim.

 

Finally, and most foolhardy, when I moved down south she sought to make me into a slave of her and Jimmy's household. Fix this, hang that, bring a saw, drive me to this show, it was a horror!!!

 

She doesn't deserve our mercy. She is guilty!

 

Hey, I paid you in tacos when you painted my living room. 

[Besolyn]

Mmmmm tacos.

[King of the Reds]

A stipend of food and fine wines and spirits. Do you think I am so easily bought?.......don't answer that.

[JenniferL]

They were really GOOD tacos. 

[Jason Denzel]

*stumbles in drunk, shirt untucked, holding a bottle of whiskey*

 

I hear Jenn's on trial.  Is it too late to chop off her head?  

 

I know 3 facts, 2 of which are true:

1. I taught Kathana how to drive
2. Jimmy once defeated me in a sword duel for her hand in marriage
3. I appointed her Amyrlin Seat of the White Tower on Day 2 of Dragonmount's opening after she sent me a funny fan fiction story. 

Oh, and 15 years later, people STILL think we're married.  *shakes fist at Jimmy*

[Elgee]

*stumbles in drunk, shirt untucked, holding a bottle of whiskey*

 

I hear Jenn's on trial.  Is it too late to chop off her head?  

 

I know 3 facts, 2 of which are true:

1. I taught Kathana how to drive
2. Jimmy once defeated me in a sword duel for her hand in marriage
3. I appointed her Amyrlin Seat of the White Tower on Day 2 of Dragonmount's opening after she sent me a funny fan fiction story. 

Oh, and 15 years later, people STILL think we're married.  *shakes fist at Jimmy*

 

The most important point in the above is ... do you have your pants on?

 

The second most important is: you can't put a chopped off head back on. She might still tell us where the keys to the pudding mines are, so belay that suggestion.

 

The third most important is... YOU'RE the bugger responsible for landing us in the pudding??? WARDERS!!!! HOLD THAT MAN! THIS MAN!

 

 

[JenniferL]

*stumbles in drunk, shirt untucked, holding a bottle of whiskey*

 

I hear Jenn's on trial.  Is it too late to chop off her head?  

 

I know 3 facts, 2 of which are true:

1. I taught Kathana how to drive
2. Jimmy once defeated me in a sword duel for her hand in marriage
3. I appointed her Amyrlin Seat of the White Tower on Day 2 of Dragonmount's opening after she sent me a funny fan fiction story. 

Oh, and 15 years later, people STILL think we're married.  *shakes fist at Jimmy*

 

Those are all lies. You made me wait a week before you told me I got the job. And Jimmy has told you many times the rental fees for my time are quite reasonable.