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Green Ajah's Festival of Lights: Day of Contemplation


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Welcome to The Green Ajah's Festival of Lights!!!


At this time of year most likely everyone will be celebrating some kind of holiday and you are likely on the come down from another dizzying and hopefully fabulous festive season. As 2012 draws to a close it is natural to look back over the year and take stock of what has happened.


Here is the place to share the highlights and lowlights of your 2012. The things that have helped shape you bit by bit into the new you to face the New Year. It can be big changes or small changes. New adventures? New family members? Personal achievements? Heck, did you find the perfect hairdresser?


Personally, 2012 seems to be the year everything stalled for me. I finally gave up on pretending doing a PhD would make me happy - rendering my degree a whole lot less useful.

After four years of living in my own flat I had to move back in with my parentals. 

Contemplating on this year it doesn't feel like I'm stalling. Yes, I had to change course career wise but it will be a change that will make me happier. I was unhappy living in my own flat but I felt it was a step backwards to be moving back in with my parents. Much to my surprise I love it. I haven't felt this happy in a long time.


Contemplation works.


I'd love to hear your 2012 experiences. Feel free to share whatever you feel comfortable with.

Edited by blank
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Last yer was 1568 aftr Lugh's gift o n my calnder and ths year, whch starte on solstic, is now 1569. Wasnt goo d year; startd out ok, changd jobs twic, from paintin somone hous to workin for fathr on farm, thn I foun d out I had malignan tumuor in august, had biopsy in Sptembr to fin d uot its anasplasti astrocytoma, thn had strok becuse of head traum aftr first ruond of chemo beining of Novembr. Some othr thngs rather not share too. Startin off ths year, secnd cycle of chemo. So nt a goo d year.

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Taltos, let's hope it gets better.   :smile: 

My highlight was my trip to Israel in June. Amazing and I'll do it again.

Another low and high was having to have back surgery. It was brutal but I feel so much better now.


I've been off work for almost 5 months.  I am both anticipating and dreading my return on 1.9.13.


25th wedding anniversary.


Blank, if you don't mind, why were you unhappy on your own and much happier with your parents?  My situation was different.  As much of a struggle as it was, I got out as soon as I could.. age 18.


Edited by Ryrin
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I left home at 18 as well, not because I was desperate to leave my parents I just wanted my own flat. So I worked part time and went full time to university and got my degree and helped maintain a household with a couple of close friends for three years.


The last year though, I wasn't at uni and my hours kept getting cut at work so I was working 16 hours a week and trying to support my flat. I was having a tough time with one of my flatmates. I really did not want to move back to my parents house. I mean, I get on fantastic with them both, and my brother, we're all really close but I felt that I was moving backwards.


So I moved home in August this year and honestly Ryrin it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm away from the hostility at my flat, I have no financial pressure - I help out with expenses but if I've had rubbish hours that week most of the time my parents refuse my money. It's just given me the time to stand still and think, rather than scrabbling around to kept afloat. 


Does this make any sense?

Edited by blank
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This year was a good one - at least I choose to look back and highlight the good times and let the bad ones stay where they are.


This year I saw the one year anniversary of the bonding between myself and Karas my warder, and the one year anniversary of the bonds of my self and my souvras, lily and myst. Each of these relationships took about a year to get to the bonding stage so to see a year of each come about again and have each bond still growing stronger is a wonderful thing.


I spent half the year worrying about the fate if my warder as he served his country over seas and got to jump for joy when I finally got the message he was home again all in one piece.


This last year I saw anniversaries of becoming GL of the ACW guild and ADL of the FL and I became the RGL of the WTRP.


I also got to see my mintee wildfire find her home here on dm and get raised.


As for non dm highlights, I joined a writers group in my community and got to go to a few work shops and a few planned days away with them just to write. I've started a novel that I hope to actually complete once I rework the outline and do some research.


I learned how to crochet and made an afghan I proudly display in my living room and a hat my daughter wears every day and a scarf I gave to my mother in law.


I started learning how to play guitar and met a good friend in the process.


I got back into acting after about ten years out if the lights. I was in a play in an outdoor festival that ran three days. I had three parts, each with their own monologues and just under a month to learn them all. I even got a cut of the $ donations making this my first paid performance!


I celebrated my son's fourth birthday, my daughter's 7th and my 3rd wedding anniversary with my husband.


And I found my love of reading again this year and read about 10 books (I normally only read two a year for the last 7 years and then usually less than that for a few years before).


So I had a great year by the looks if things. Thanks to everyone who was a part of making such wonderful things happen.

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This year, eh? Well, shucks. I wish I could say how I feel about this year. It was... okay. But in a way, one of the most dull years I have lived through so far.


And by 'dull', I mean this was a year where almost nothing happened at all. Usually, at the end of the year, I certainly have a lot to say about what I have experienced. But this year, not so much. Here's the short list of things I did this year to remember, in order of best to worst:


-Finished Sixth form, and moved on to college. The best thing that came out of this year. Comparing my school to college is like comparing a single slab of hairy, half-cooked, processed meat to a full, fancy gourmet dinner, and then a free but delicious desert.


-Became a new fan of WoT. 'Nuff said.


-Joined DM. And with it, met tons of amazing people. Thanks, guys and girls.


-Err, a bunch of time sitting around waiting for something good to happen. It almost never did, though.


-Developed sleeping problems. Not fun at all.



And that's about it. All in all, not a bad year. Nowhere near as bad as last year. Seriously, 2011 was one of the most depressing years of my life. But it wasn't a particularly marvelous year either. It's biggest problem was that nothing happened, for me anyway. And I suppose that's nice, in a way. I needed a year to calm down.


But here's hoping that 2013 will be a year where things actually happen, though. For better or worse.

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This year I continued to overcome the depression that almost ended my life the year before. I have become much more confident, and have really focused on building relationships with my friends and family, and also work towards my career and to help people out whenever I can.


I've become much more involved in my church and much stronger in my faith, and I'm finding that I like who I am. I still have a lot of growing to do, and I'm far from perfect, but I'm doing my best to do my best! :P


Over the summer I finally let myself be Promoted to Der'Manshima and took over as the MaA not too long after. It's been an honor to help make the Tower a better place, even though it isn't always easily.


Recently, I also took over the Aiel, and though most of the work thus far has been behind the scenes, I'm hoping that the new year brings great things for my group!!!


Recently, as many of you know, I also gave up my hair in order to raise money for children's cancer research. I had over two feet of hair before, over a foot of it went to Locks of Love, and the rest of it was shaved off. My hair is now about a CM long. I've had a lot of mixed feelings about it. I feel wonderful for having raised around $500 for children's cancer research in a span of about 3 weeks, but it was so hard for me to let go of it. I miss my hair now, and there's been a few times that I've found myself feeling like less of a woman without my hair. But, I'm also learning to see beauty in other parts of myself (like my eyes and face in general) now. 


I'm becoming confident enough in myself to be able to help others again :) it makes me very very happy.


I'm still struggling with the depression some, but things are looking up and I hope it continues to improve in 2013

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This year has basically been full of running after my son and watching him grow and learn. There have been a few other things of note though...


I found DM this past March and it has really helped me though some difficult times.

I got a kitten :smile:

I've learned to be happy with what I have, and to treasure it. I think that is my most important lesson learned this past year.


Here's to a wonderful new year full of excitement and new lessons to make me stronger and wiser.

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Haha funny I see this now, cos last night I made another attempt at starting a diary and wrote over 6 Word pages' worth of a recap of the past year XD


So...it's been an 'interesting' year, I think I can safely say it's definitely been the most crazy, full-on. I'm not complaining, I like being busy and involved when most of my life till now has been spent on a remote farm not doing much :P A lot of stressy and not so fun stuff happened, but the amazing things are plentiful too...



-I had the most wonderful summer holidays with my rl friends, and spent a lot of time with my ...best guy friend. We did a lot of fun crazy adventurous stuff together and it was a really chilled start to the year. Then we kinda got wrenched apart by a silly thing called life, still ahven't really come to grips with what happened there. :/

-looking back now, once school started, the first half of this year feels like it was CRAZY. I started doing a lot of training with my young stallion. Last year of school started, my grandpa on the other side of the world was suddenly, unexpectedly, diagnosed with cancer. I went to help out at a horse stud. Opi got operated, and he passed not long after That was the first family death we all experienced together, and it was a big shock to everyone of course - my dad had flown over, I wasn't with the rest of my family, and once I got back we had to stay anyway and take care of all the extra farm stuff.

-Took a while for everything to get back to normal, and Opi's death was definitely a low started a lot of broodingings... I'm not going to forget this year. Back into school, then some people quite a ways away wanted me to help them make a film - so I travelled to and fro multiple times, ended up organizing and filming everything myself with no real idea of what they were wanting me to make a film about. Schoolwork had piled up...

-The trip to Chile had been slightly planned, and suddenly it was all finalized, so we all went over there for a couple of months. Maybe not the best idea for the last school year, but it was an AMAZING experience in everything else. I got heaps of socialising, football, the city...it was great :D Oh and we had tv, so we got to watch the Olympics! Definitely a highlight!

-oh and I took advantage of being in a timezone closer to that of certain people, and let's just say...a few people's, including mine, sleepytimes were practically nonexistent (ok that might be slightly exaggerated, but close!!) XD

-Came back to NZ, realised I was quite unprepared for the prep exams, so I started studying hard and that went through the next 4 months... plus more training the horse, another heavily pregnant horse that hadn't been fed too well over the winter we were away, sporadic babysitting jobs, painting a whole art portfolio in two months, real exams... DM was pretty much the only other thing I had time for :P



I've made new amazing awesome friends, both rl and DM, and I can't imagine the now without them. Feels like my life has been enriched in this speshul way :)
I HAVE A BABY - ok it's nt really mine, is a foal. But I have been excited for this WAY BEFORE my horse was even pregnant, and they are 11 months preggers fyi. So, a long time. XD
I've finished high school....... :blink: Much less of the pomp and ceremony as it's Correspondence School, but to think I'm donw now with what's been my routine for the last 13 years...
I'm going to Europe to study! No plans beyond that right now O.o

So yeah, it was pretty crazy. I've just had the last month to calm down, take stock of what has all happened, think about things - especially how they're going to be soon.. I'm both excited and sad to be moving to the other side of the world. I think I have to sort out a lot of my feelings and dreams and stuffs that are all tangled in an intricate ball somewhere halfway between Europe and New Zealand :laugh: I've been struggling with the thought of not having my horses any longer in two months' time for the whole year, but I will just have to accept it and there will be many other things that fill my time. Won't mean I'll miss them less though....eh.


I'm looking forward to the year, and will just have to take a deep breath, jump right into it, and go with the flow. *nod* To 2013!


p.s. sorry didn't mean to babble that much. See how I managed to fill so many pages yesterday? XD I put the block of it in spoilers, you don't need to read it :P

Edited by Nyanna al'Meara
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This year has been very strange for me, but also quite satisfying at the end.


- I had a lot of mixed feelings about RL stuff and was fighting a depression. I'm still depressed but it is going better now. I have made an appointment with a psychologist so that was a big step for me. 

- You can't find happiness in external things, it needs to come from yourself. If you can't then it doesn't matter what you gain in life, you will remain unhappy. I had to learn this the hard way, but I'm glad that I did anyway.


- I have been doing much better at school in my second year. I have become more confident in myself and more professional towards others. I still have a lot to learn but I'm noticing improvements after every project and I'm happy about that. 

- One of the best things that has happened to me this year: I joined DM :happy: I honestly never expected to find so many great people here, some who I can even call friends. I immediately felt at home at the Wolfkin and after that I started joining the other SGs. The WT is one of my favorites. A week or so ago Mish became my mentor. I wasn't expecting anything at first to be honest, but after she started opening up to me I felt comfortable to do the same (which is a hard thing for me to do). We talked a lot this past week, and even during my worse times she was always there for me. I can't thank her enough for that :happy:

- I started with accepting myself for who I am, and others for who they are. 

Edited by _CLOUD
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Cloud, those are positive steps.  I started to see a psychologist a month or so ago to set better goals, deal with stress better and take better care of myself physically.  Mish is really special.


Ishmael, let's hope this year is an improvement for you!

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Fluffy, that sounds great, not only have good positive things have been happening, you've also had some real mental break throughs and that's the kinda of stuff that stays with you for years. It's been a good year for you me thinks love!


And I'm sorry to hear that Ishy

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