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A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY
Ozzie_aiel

Unlikely Wheel of Time spin-offs.... Make em as outlandish and funny as you can

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The Dragon and Fain Variety Hour.

 

Rand al'Thor and Padan Fain host a stream of actors, gleemen, movers and shakers from all nations with hilarious sketches, impressive musical performances and political oratory, all while Fain continuously attempts to kill Rand.

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(In the depths of the Pit of Doom, the Dark One is surrounded by His remaining Chosen) "MESAANA, YOU ARE WEAKEST LINK"

 

I laughed so hard!

 

My Big Fat Aiel Wedding

 

 

And again *grins*

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Mission Impossible DR: Watch Rand Cruise and his band as they try to steal the crystal sword from the Stone without alerting the guards.

 

From Rhuidean with Love: The name is Rand. Altor, Rand. Also features Bond Girl Aviendha and Miss Egwennypenny who never gets to have Rand. M(oiraine) sends agent LTT Dragon to the Aiel waste to pick up a defector. The SHADOW are after Rand, however, after he previously killed their Number 2 (Dr. Ish).

 

The Big Wheel Theory. Follow Dr. Rand, Mat MSc and Dr. Perrin as they try to woo their neighbour across the hall, Eggy, and in general defeat the trollocs and other monsters in their all-too-real board games. Dr. Perrin is a bit weird and his work on theoretical Wolfics is rarely appreciated. Mat eventually marries Tuonette and earns the envy of his fellows by going to the TOG (the tower of Ghenjei).

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Law and Order:  ToR (tower of ravens)-  A crack team of investigators for the empress conduct investigations and carryout justice in her name. 

Terangreal Road Show -  "I fished this up in my nets."

                                          "I value this item as worth at least three ships of your own."

Edited by traceeb

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Ogier version of C-Span, talking for 25 years about, I don't know, whether to work on Rhuiden or something.

 

Id Watch that :)

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Let me tell you 'bout a boy called Rand

Livin' in Two Rivers raisin' sheep up on his land

Then one day some trollocs attacked him

And Moiraine said "Time to go Sonny Jim"

 

Aes Sedai, Tower trained, channeler

 

The Taveren Hillbillies

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The Unbounded Sister

 

This would be a reality show where you have 1 Aes Sedai and 25 men trying to become her Warder and they got to go on date, protect her from Shadowsapwn and show what other talents they might have and they get sent home one per episode until there is only one left who becomes a Warder.

 

The Dwindling Manhunt

 

This would also be a reality show. You start out with one male channeler running for his life, or rather his channeling abilities, and a circle of 13 Red Ajah Aes Sedai who hunt for him, the twist here would be that one of the Reds get voted back to the Tower in each episode so they are on the clock to try to find the male channeler while they are still many enough to shield him, if they find the man before they get to few they win and get to enjoy dragging him to the Tower and gentle him, and if he win he get to run the hell away and enjoy his channeling abilities for a while longer.

 

Damanez

 

This would be a computer game with just the same concept as Catz and Dogz but this time instead of cute little furry thing you get to adopt and train a damane.

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Let me tell you 'bout a boy called Rand

Livin' in Two Rivers raisin' sheep up on his land

Then one day some trollocs attacked him

And Moiraine said "Time to go Sonny Jim"

 

Aes Sedai, Tower trained, channeler

 

The Taveren Hillbillies

 

 

Totally thought you were going for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air right up until the end :p

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Let me tell you 'bout a boy called Rand

Livin' in Two Rivers raisin' sheep up on his land

Then one day some trollocs attacked him

And Moiraine said "Time to go Sonny Jim"

 

Aes Sedai, Tower trained, channeler

 

The Taveren Hillbillies

 

 

Totally thought you were going for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air right up until the end :p

Fresh Prince of the Ravens, you mean.

 

Now this isa story all about how

mylife got flipped, turned upside down,

and I'd like to tell you 'bout how, under duress,

I ended up a noble and married to the Seanchan Empress

 

In South West Andor, born and raised,

herding sheep was where I spent most of my days,

chilling out, pranking, and acting all cool,

winding up Nynave, who thinks I'm a fool,

when a couple of Fades who were up to no good

started making trouble in my neighbourhood.

I got in one little battle and Moiraine got scared,

and said you moving to tar Valon so you don't end up dead.

 

I ended up kidnapping a lady

and though this wasn't Vegas,

we accidentally married,

so I'm the Prince of Ravens.

 

I pulled up to the Tower about seven or eight,

to get the Horn of Valere, in time for Tarmon Gaidon,

When we've won the Last Battle, I'll go back to Seanchan

To sit on my throne, as the Prince of the Ravens.

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Fresh Prince of the Ravens, you mean.

 

Now this isa story all about how

mylife got flipped, turned upside down,

and I'd like to tell you 'bout how, under duress,

I ended up a noble and married to the Seanchan Empress

 

In South West Andor, born and raised,

herding sheep was where I spent most of my days,

chilling out, pranking, and acting all cool,

winding up Nynave, who thinks I'm a fool,

when a couple of Fades who were up to no good

started making trouble in my neighbourhood.

I got in one little battle and Moiraine got scared,

and said you moving to tar Valon so you don't end up dead.

 

I ended up kidnapping a lady

and though this wasn't Vegas,

we accidentally married,

so I'm the Prince of Ravens.

 

I pulled up to the Tower about seven or eight,

to get the Horn of Valere, in time for Tarmon Gaidon,

When we've won the Last Battle, I'll go back to Seanchan

To sit on my throne, as the Prince of the Ravens.

 

Brilliant! That had me grinning (and tapping my feet, might I add :P) all the way through :)

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Fresh Prince of the Ravens, you mean.

 

Now this isa story all about how

mylife got flipped, turned upside down,

and I'd like to tell you 'bout how, under duress,

I ended up a noble and married to the Seanchan Empress

 

In South West Andor, born and raised,

herding sheep was where I spent most of my days,

chilling out, pranking, and acting all cool,

winding up Nynave, who thinks I'm a fool,

when a couple of Fades who were up to no good

started making trouble in my neighbourhood.

I got in one little battle and Moiraine got scared,

and said you moving to tar Valon so you don't end up dead.

 

I ended up kidnapping a lady

and though this wasn't Vegas,

we accidentally married,

so I'm the Prince of Ravens.

 

I pulled up to the Tower about seven or eight,

to get the Horn of Valere, in time for Tarmon Gaidon,

When we've won the Last Battle, I'll go back to Seanchan

To sit on my throne, as the Prince of the Ravens.

This is a true work of genius right here! :P

 

My contribution to the thread: Wife Swap...

 

*shudders*

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My contribution to the thread: Wife Swap...

 

What about Warder swap where two Aes Sedai exchange Warder bonds for a week, for example a book worm Brown and a fiery Green, and then see what happens. :P

 

We could also have the Bachelor with Logain, I mean he is handsome, one hell of a powerful mage, he is a nobleman (well in his mind at least), is apparently quite the lover according to Gabrelle, and in addition considering what he have been through he am sure to get some sympathy votes. I am sure he would be able to charm 25 ladies to fight over him.

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Two Guys, A Fade and a Pizza Place

 

The Apprentice: Mazrim Taim

 

Merry Christmas Rand Al'thor

 

Punk'd: We make Rand Al'thor believe the he's hearing LTT's voice in his head

 

 

Randbo: After returning victorious from the Last Battle, Rand becomes a vagabond, moving from village to village until one sheriff tries to arrest him

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My contribution to the thread: Wife Swap...

 

What about Warder swap where two Aes Sedai exchange Warder bonds for a week, for example a book worm Brown and a fiery Green, and then see what happens. :P

 

We could also have the Bachelor with Logain, I mean he is handsome, one hell of a powerful mage, he is a nobleman (well in his mind at least), is apparently quite the lover according to Gabrelle, and in addition considering what he have been through he am sure to get some sympathy votes. I am sure he would be able to charm 25 ladies to fight over him.

 

I'm not entirely sure what Bachelor is, but it totally sounds like Take Me Out. That would be hilarious.

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I'd like to see the Big Three and their wives/harem on Newlyweds.
 

How would you rate your wife's morning breath?

[Perrin]: Uh... Well, she ate potatoes and lamb last night. There is still a hint of that glass of spiced wine. Oh, and that sweetmint she had just before bed. THe garlic from dinner the day before is still kicking around also, but it is almost completely lost in the usual smell of plaque build-up. So, delicious.

 

What is the worst thing that happened on your wedding day, if anything?

[Mat]: Becoming a bloody noble. Oh, and she ran off while I had to kill a bunch of her soldiers who were tying to kill her.

 

 

What's the silliest thing your spouse has ever done?

[Rand]: Light! How much time do you have?
Edited by Whizbang

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The Apprentice: Mazrim Taim

 

Fantastic, I wonder what getting fired by Mazrim Taim would look like. :P

 

I'm not entirely sure what Bachelor is, but it totally sounds like Take Me Out. That would be hilarious.

 

The Bachelor is a reality series, my mother likes to watch it, you have one man, usually a rich, very good looking one and then 25 women who he dates and then send one home each week until one is left who get engaged to.

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<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Hagazussa" data-cid="2717402" data-time="1356380363"><p>

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'><p>The Apprentice: Mazrim Taim</p></blockquote>

<br />

Fantastic, I wonder what getting fired by Mazrim Taim would look like. :P</p></blockquote>

 

Probably being set on fire

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Probably being set on fire

 

To easy, the man is not only powerful mage, he is a both brutal and creative mage. On the other side getting fired form the Black Tower, that is a rather fatal thing. Or off course it could be, sorry you are fired from the Black Tower so now the Red Ajah get you, I hope you where not to attached to those channeling abilities of yours...oh you are you say, well you should have done a better job then...fired! :P

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The Bachelor is a reality series, my mother likes to watch it, you have one man, usually a rich, very good looking one and then 25 women who he dates and then send one home each week until one is left who get engaged to.

 

Yeah, that is sort of similar to Take Me Out. One man presents himself in front of 30 women and as things get revealed about him, they have to decide whether to "turn off their lights" or keep them on as a sign of him being good for them, and at the end, if there's more than one woman left with their light on, he has to choose which one he'd want to take on a date. It's pretty funny stuff :P

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Today on Jerry Springer; "My Green Sister like her other gaidin better than me"

 

Rand, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve start hanging out in a coffee shop in a spin-off of Friends

 

This week on Time Team, the crew excavate the old capital of Aridhol and find more than they bargained for (Arrgh, help me, Mashadar has me!)

 

 

Two and a Half-Man

-When Charlz Guybon and Uno the Shienaran take in a baby myrrdrall much hilarity and bloodshed ensues.

 

lol :D

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Fifty Shades of Gray Ajah

 

Red Vs Blue: Hall of Sitters

 

Anne of Green Ajah

 

How I Met The Mother

 

The Brown and the Beautiful

 

Haha :P

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