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A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY
Ozzie_aiel

Unlikely Wheel of Time spin-offs.... Make em as outlandish and funny as you can

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This is just for fun guys. Here are a few

 

A group of Wetlanders are taken beyond the Dragonwall and split into 2 teams in the new reality tv show Survivor: Aiel Waste. ( Survivor: Land of Madmen works too, as does Survivor: The Blight)

 

In an attempt to create a more powerful warder, Aes Sedai experiment on Lan, fusing his bones with cuendillar and giving him retractable heartstone claws

 

In a twist for So You Think You Can Dance, the judges will be replaced by Aiel

 

Juilin Sandar, tired of Tear moves to Caemlyn and joins a former cutpurse turned royal agent to fight crime in Sandar and Hark.

 

Thats all I can think of. Anyone got more?

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Shadowmon. All the shadowspawn are spread through out Randland and trainers would catch the with Shadowballs.

 

Trolloc use bite!

 

Worm dodge and use dig!

 

Oh no! You knocked out my last Shadowmon!

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Real Housewifes of (insert city)

 

The Amazing Race... Teams of Damane and Marath'damane or Aes Sedai and a Gaidan race through the blight trying to see who racks up the biggest shadowspawn total

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Memoirs of a Gaidin... details the training and other stuff in a warder's life and his struggles to tske control of his destiny in a world where AS call all the shots.

 

Dragonball R... self-explanatory

 

Royalty Cribs- a show about all the palaces and crap and the people who live in them. This week: Elayne Trakand.

 

Faulty Tower- the hilarious misadventures of the employees and guests in one section of the White Tower's hospitality... department.

 

Pimp Your Ride- hosted by Valan Luca.

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Today on Jerry Springer; "My Green Sister like her other gaidin better than me"

 

Rand, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve start hanging out in a coffee shop in a spin-off of Friends

 

This week on Time Team, the crew excavate the old capital of Aridhol and find more than they bargained for (Arrgh, help me, Mashadar has me!)

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Fifty Shades of Al'thor.  An in depth look into the personal lives and romances of Rand, Elayne, Min, and Aviendha.

 

"Do rude things to me, Rand," said Elayne.

Edited by Whizbang

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Showtime reboots their series The L Word with "The L Word: Red Ajah". Here is a link if you aren't familiar with the series:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_L_Word

 

Or a show depicting Bela recreating some of the best animal movies of all time, where she portrays famous animal actors such as Mr. Ed, The War Horse, Seabiscuit, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lassie, Babe, Flipper, Free Willy (Keiko), the rat from Ratatouille, the goose from Charlotte's Web, Alvin the Chipmunk, Simba, Mighty Joe Young and Tim Allen from Shaggy Dog.

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Two and a Half-Man

-When Charlz Guybon and Uno the Shienaran take in a baby myrrdrall much hilarity and bloodshed ensues.

Edited by Dastion

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Following the lives and amorous adventures of a group of female channellers in their late 100's in Sex and the Sedai

 

The WoT Odd Couple; Galad and Narg

 

I Love Lanfear

 

MTV live at the Alcair Dar

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Parks and Wreck - a show about some of the Ogier Gardeners, who always have big plans for beautifying the empire and murdering the hell out of anybody who defies the Empress.

 

Might Club - as if Asha'man training wasn't tough enough, M'Hael has started a weekly OP fight night. But we're not supposed to talk about it...

 

Cairhienin Psycho- a well-to-do Cairhienin lord appears to be as noble as any, but that's secretly just a mask to hide the crazed killer underneath.

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Showtime reboots their series The L Word with "The L Word: Red Ajah". Here is a link if you aren't familiar with the series:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_L_Word

 

Or a show depicting Bela recreating some of the best animal movies of all time, where she portrays famous animal actors such as Mr. Ed, The War Horse, Seabiscuit, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lassie, Babe, Flipper, Free Willy (Keiko), the rat from Ratatouille, the goose from Charlotte's Web, Alvin the Chipmunk, Simba, Mighty Joe Young and Tim Allen from Shaggy Dog.

SJP is on the list! LMAO!

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Slayer.

 

Luc Mantear leads a double life as an incredibly likeable Hero of the Horn and as Slayer, the greatest assassin employed by the Shadows. Raised in the reaches of Shayol Ghul to harness his evil for, um, evil, Luc developed an unhealthy obsession with wolves. Luc is a killer who must grapple with the presence of Isam Mandraoran, while, at the same time, he struggles with his ability to feel sympathy for wolves he kill. The irony of Luc's life is that he must now work closely with Perrin Aybara, ta'veren, champion of the Light, AND a wolfbrother, whilst he hunt his own kind, Padan Fain, former darkfriend and a killer like himself. Forsaken by the Light and cursed with the Shadow, will Luc, the former First Sword of Andor, ever be rid of his dark passenger?

 

 

All new episodes, only on Showtime.

Edited by Rootbeer

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Crazy woman on the run, Mierin joins the sturdy, dependable doctor Beidomon and a host of colourful characters in a quest to uncover the truth. 

 

It all starts when a Sho-Wing bound for Paaran Disen crashes on an idyllic island in the middle of the Great Sea. Stranded and communications cut, the survivors come to terms with their new life cut off from technology. However, they soon find out that this mysterious island holds far more secrets than they could ever imagine.They soon find out that they are not alone, and far from safe with the vicious three-eyed frog-horses and giant flying bat-lizards eager to snatch their unwary prey. The mystery deepens with the discovery of a huge floating dome, a thinness in reality and a VOICE THAT HAUNTS THEIR EVERY WAKING HOUR. Will Mierin and Beidomon overcome the obstacles in their way? Will they be able to uncover the secrets of the island? Will they be able to piece together the Pattern before it is too late? 

 

Find out on Misain (translation is unclear, however, from the story, the most appropriate translation would be "Lost") 

 

For those who care about the little joke with the title: 

 

 

A little humor with the "Misain" reference. It is from the Old Tongue Phrase "Sa souvraya niende misain ye." (I am lost in my own mind.) The other phrase "lost" is mentioned is "Mashiara" (My Lost Love) Misain was the most similar to some of the phrasing in Mashiara so I went with that.

 

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(In the depths of the Pit of Doom, the Dark One is surrounded by His remaining Chosen) "MESAANA, YOU ARE WEAKEST LINK"

 

My Big Fat Aiel Wedding

 

Altaran Idol, judged by Riselle (and her wonderful bosom)

 

Meet the White Towers greatest super-agent; Merrilin, Thom Merrilin

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While running around with the street urchins of Ebu Dar, Olver gets drawn into a gang of children pick-pockets, led by Old Cully. Eventually Fagin, I mean Old Cully, is caught and hanged and Monks, I mean Carridin, is revealed to be Olver's paternal half-brother.

Edited by Whizbang

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Legend turns to Myth-busters - Mat and Thom blow crap up with Aludra's fireworks in a series of attempts to prove whether we got our references from the Third Agers, or they from us.

 

Mat: We're here at the site of Tar Valon to test the myth that it's actually an allusion to Avalon. We're gonna shoot Dragons at it until it's nothing but rubble and hopefully that'll give us the answers we need.

Thom: Well there's you're problem right there.

 

 

Mr. Bel Medar - A cultured man from the Age of Legends awakes in a world of untrained Aes Sedai. He agrees to take care of a group of half trained children in the contemptible White Tower. Hilarity ensues.

:tongue:

 

AoL Monday Night Raw - Tonight we got a great match up for you. Demandred has been a thorn in the champ Lew's Therin side for years now, and they finally are going to settle things inside a steal cage!

 

King: What is Lews Therin pulling out of his pants....is that a....that's a statue!

J.R: That's the access key and you damn well know it King! Why's Lews Therin doing this?! Oh not like this King, not like this!

Edited by Balefire to da face!

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Randland.... One Aes Sedai is convinced a returning Gaidan from the Blight, captured by the forces of the Shadow, has been turned into a Darkfriend... while posing as a hero. This Aes Sedai, Carrie Madsuane, has the best crying features of any Aes Sedai

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... This Aes Sedai, Carrie Madsuane, has the best crying features of any Aes Sedai

 

Hillarious!  Totally true.  I like to play her in slow motion, just to watch each little facial tic.  At the end of Season 1 when they took down her board there, I was in awe.

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The Wise Ones dream prophecy's were not full and complete. As Avihenda reported to Rand, "Melaine and Bair dreamed of you on a boat with three women whose faces they could not see, and a scale tilting first one way then the other".

 

What she neglected to mention was that the Wise Ones also saw this boat going on a "three hour tour. A three hour tour"* :)

 

 

* gilligans island reference.

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Black Metal Jacket- a story following a group of men from basic training in the Black Tower to fighting in the Last Battle in the Blight

Edited by Ozzie_aiel

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