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Mat's Funniest Moments


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od side.'

 

2 In a nice little bit of continuity many people never caught early: Mat, in EOTW, dropping his goblet when Rand blurts out that Mordeth doesn't have a shadow = Mat, in TGH, dropping his egg when Perrin blurts out that Rand can Channel.

 

 

Fish

 

Ohh, *chortle chortle*; we're all so glad you're here to get the jokes for us.

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The whole thing with Boots in ToM was great writing, some of it is in my sig.

 

When Mat is awakened from his drunken stupor by Elayne and Nynaeve, who apologize to him and he's all like "Meh, it was nothing..."

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Not really any quotes, but it always makes me laugh how he is massively hypocritical in so many ways, such as

 

1. He always claims not to be a hero, yet he is the closest of all the characters to what could be considered a classical hero.

 

2. His aggravation at Olver's continued corruption by other people even though it is obvious that Olver is modeling himself after Mat.

 

3. His stated preference for an easy, safe life when he always feels most alive in wildly dangerous situations.

 

4. His repeated disdain of nobility when he seems to be most in his element around them.

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"Thom, you're with me. Talmanes, watch the women."

"We have little need of being 'watched,' Matrim," Joline said grumpily.

"Fine," he snapped. "Thom, you're with me. Joline, you watch the soldiers."

I missed this on my first two read throughs, but still bloody hilarious.

"It never hurts to listen," Thorn said.

"I don't know," Mat said, eyeing Barlden. "Not unless you think it could hurt to end up surrounded by crazy, homicidal

mountainfolk."

Actually, a lot of Sanderson's chapters have some great lines, even if they aren't the most Cauthon-esque. Edited by TNine
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His thought "I'll head out of the Waste tonight if I have to walk" if one of the maidens said that she was tDotNMs.

 

 

Also his line that he "got nicked less than I do shaving" after a game of Maiden's Kiss.

 

 

 

Fish

Edited by The Fisher King
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When Joline is trying to convince Mat to let the move ahead of the Band and they argue about horses and Mat says:

 

"Twenty?!"..."I count two of you," Mat said, his anger rising. "That means four horses. I figured you'd be smart enough to do that math, Joline." And then, softer, he added. "If just barely." This one killed me when I read it.

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His first battlecry as he charges into the Shaido outside Cairhien. "Blood and bloody ashes!"

 

Absolutely love his letter to Elayne, makes me.chuckle just thinking about it.

 

The sweet-buns that turn Jolenes mouth blue, this is definately Mat, pranking people he thinks deserve it.

 

Tylin cornering Mat and undoing his pants, then Thom walking in.

 

Mat and Nalesean at the races when Mat remembers Lady Shiane. "I saw a woman who tried to kill me", "Next time buy her trinkets"

 

When he gets caught by Aiel on the Tairen rooftops and answers "Oh, I'm just out for a walk."

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  • 3 weeks later...

Was Googling Mat quotes. This one isn't a quote from Mat, but it does involve him.

 

Nerim, to Mat, while sewing up his wounds, Lord of Chaos, Chapter 22: Heading South

As my Lord says, my Lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you, my Lord, for instructing me.

 

 

I just read this part during my reread, and it cracked me up.

 

It's even funnier in the context of the scene then just the quote. Mat is talking to Olver and ignore the pain as Nerim is working on him. Mat is twitching and gritting his teeth, having a touching moment with Olver, and all of a sudden yells, "Burn you Nerim! That's a leg, not a bloody side of beef."

 

It cracked me up because I don't think any other scene in all of WoT makes Jordan's quaint swears sound so much like real curses.

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"I don’t know. They could put up a warning sign or something. Hello. Welcome to Hindstrap. We will murder you in the night and eat your bloody face if you stay past sunset. Try the pies. Martna Maily makes them fresh daily."

 

 

"They should post a flaming explanation on those archways. 'step through here and they can bloody hang you. And they will, idiot."

Edited by Aulduron
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Mat and Nalesean at the races when Mat remembers Lady Shiane. "I saw a woman who tried to kill me", "Next time buy her trinkets"

 

Came here just to post this one! I laughed so much when I read this.

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"Thom, you're with me. Talmanes, watch the women."

"We have little need of being 'watched,' Matrim," Joline said grumpily.

"Fine," he snapped. "Thom, you're with me. Joline, you watch the soldiers."

I missed this on my first two read throughs, but still bloody hilarious.

"It never hurts to listen," Thorn said.

"I don't know," Mat said, eyeing Barlden. "Not unless you think it could hurt to end up surrounded by crazy, homicidal

mountainfolk."

Actually, a lot of Sanderson's chapters have some great lines, even if they aren't the most Cauthon-esque.

 

 

 

I do agree that Brandon indulged too much with Mat at times, but that first one is a great line.

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Brandon himself said it best about these slapstick over the top lines...

 

Interview: 2012

necrosxiaoban (August 2012)

Mat's voice really changed from The Gathering Storm to Towers of Midnight. In The Gathering Storm he seemed almost a parody of himself, while in Towers of Midnight he eased back on his roguish nature and felt much more real. Why do you think Mat came across that way in The Gathering Storm, and were you specifically motivated to correct it in Towers of Midnight or did that happen naturally?

Brandon Sanderson (August 2012)

One of the big dangers in doing what I'm doing is turning the characters into parodies of themselves, exactly as you stated. This is kind of the 'uncanny valley' of working in someone else's world. If you get them close, but still wrong, it can feel worse than if you'd been more off.

Jason from Dragonmount, in the early reads, was the first one to warn me that Mat was "off." I was surprised, as I felt I'd gotten him down. However, in going back to Mr. Jordan's writing and delving into it, I realized I'd missed large parts of what made Mat into Mat—the tension between what he says and does, the constant little quips in narrative (which tend to be more clever than the actual things he says out loud), the complaining that isn't really complaining. I didn't understand Mat. I tried so hard to make him funny, I wrote the HIM out of him. (I feel Peter Jackson did some of this with Gimli in the Lord of the Rings films.)

So I'd say I was specifically motivated rather than it happening naturally. I should mention, however, that the sequences RJ worked on for Mat all ended up in Towers of Midnight and A Memory of Light, not in The Gathering Storm. Some of what you are noticing isn't me, but the master himself.

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I really don't think Brandon should be criticised too much, you've got to remember that this is a monumental undertaking for anybody, there were bound to be mistakes or flaws, and the only person who could write the characters perfectly was Jordan himself.

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His whole time in Salidar was priceless. Wondering why Nynaeve was avoiding him, conveniently forgetting that the last interaction with her was essentially a promise of revenge.

 

Dancing with Halima.

 

Did Leane kiss him? I can't remember.

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While he was still staring, a willowy young Domani woman swirled up in a pale green dress thin enough for the light of the bonfire to silhouette her through it. Giving Siuan a frosty look that was returned with interest, the Domani all but snatched him out among the dancers. She was tall as an Aiel woman, dark eyes actually a little higher than his. "I am Leane, by the way," she said in a voice like a honeyed caress, "in case you did not recognize me." Her low laugh was almost a caress too.

 

He jumped and nearly fumbled the first turn. She also wore the ring. He moved by rote. Tall or not, she was a feather in his hands, a gliding swan, but that was certainly not enough to stop the question that kept popping in his head like an Illuminator's fireworks. How? How under the Light? To top it all, when the dance was done, she said, "You are a very good dancer," in that stroking voice, and then kissed him about as thoroughly as he had ever been kissed. He was so shocked he did not even try to get away. Sighing, she patted his cheek. "A very good dancer. Think of it as dancing next time, and you will do better." And off she went laughing, back into the dance with some fellow she snagged from the onlookers.

Edited by Whizbang
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Brandon himself said it best about these slapstick over the top lines...

 

Interview: 2012

necrosxiaoban (August 2012)

Mat's voice really changed from The Gathering Storm to Towers of Midnight. In The Gathering Storm he seemed almost a parody of himself, while in Towers of Midnight he eased back on his roguish nature and felt much more real. Why do you think Mat came across that way in The Gathering Storm, and were you specifically motivated to correct it in Towers of Midnight or did that happen naturally?

Brandon Sanderson (August 2012)

One of the big dangers in doing what I'm doing is turning the characters into parodies of themselves, exactly as you stated. This is kind of the 'uncanny valley' of working in someone else's world. If you get them close, but still wrong, it can feel worse than if you'd been more off.

Jason from Dragonmount, in the early reads, was the first one to warn me that Mat was "off." I was surprised, as I felt I'd gotten him down. However, in going back to Mr. Jordan's writing and delving into it, I realized I'd missed large parts of what made Mat into Mat—the tension between what he says and does, the constant little quips in narrative (which tend to be more clever than the actual things he says out loud), the complaining that isn't really complaining. I didn't understand Mat. I tried so hard to make him funny, I wrote the HIM out of him. (I feel Peter Jackson did some of this with Gimli in the Lord of the Rings films.)

So I'd say I was specifically motivated rather than it happening naturally. I should mention, however, that the sequences RJ worked on for Mat all ended up in Towers of Midnight and A Memory of Light, not in The Gathering Storm. Some of what you are noticing isn't me, but the master himself.

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I can't believe no one has mentioned the battle of Cairhein...Just the way the whole Mat sequence was written from "I'm Leaving!!", to "Well Let me help these guys, just this once, THEN I'm Really Leaving" to offing Couladin...The internal and external perspectives which shows the tension between what he wants (a gambler that just wants to live free and die old!), and what he is (A Deep Blue, Great Captain, Duty, Honor, Country, Hero and Great Captain of the highest order) are brilliant, and really just in every way enhance the AWSESOMENESS (thanks Leigh) that is Mat Cauthon.

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