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kinggeorge

self help books written by the forsaken

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I was just amusing myself by thinking about self help books being written by the forsaken or any other W.O.T. character so i am looking for any funny suggestions.

I will start it off with

 

"How to win friend and influence people" by Kamarile Maradim Nindar (Graendal)

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Greys Anatomy by Semirhage (the book not the terrible TV program)

The Art of War by Sammael (or Demandred)

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Ishamael

Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing by Graendal

Gene Cloning and DNA Analysis: An Introduction by Aginor

A Journey by Rahvin

I am the Music Man by Asmodean (not a self help book but hey!!)

Lawyers Uncovered: Everything You Always Wanted to Know, But Didn't Want to Pay £500 an Hour to Find Out by Be'lal

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Ultimate Guide to Trout Fishing by Moiraine Damodred

 

How to Train Your Man: The Puppy Years by Zarine Bashere

 

How to Train Your Men: Advanced Motivational Physical Exercises by Myrelle Berengari

 

A Revised Dictionary of the Westlands: All the Words and Expressions that are Strangely Missing in the Official One by Mat Cauthon and Siuan Sanche

 

 

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Ultimate Guide to Trout Fishing by Moiraine Damodred

 

How to Train Your Man: The Puppy Years by Zarine Bashere

 

How to Train Your Men: Advanced Motivational Physical Exercises by Myrelle Berengari

 

A Revised Dictionary of the Westlands: All the Words and Expressions that are Strangely Missing in the Official One by Mat Cauthon and Siuan Sanche

 

Ah, wicked forsaken! But Zarine and Mat can't even channel???

 

"Teach your kids right - mutual respect and empowerment as foundation for a healthy parent-child relationship" by Mesaana

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Well it said "or any WoT character" :smile:. Several of the Forsaken are kind of two-dimensional, but I'm sure I'll think of some of them too. There's some _very_ obvious themes with them, but they need to be worded right to be funny, and uhm, they might not be PG-13 to put it that way :laugh:.

 

 

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"Second place is the first loser: On motivation and competition" by Demandred

 

"Stealthmode: A guide to blending into your surroundings" by Demandred

 

"Beginner's guide to esthetics" by Balthamel

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"So, you think you might be crazy." by The Dragon Reborn (Rand al'Thor)

 

"The Color of Iron: a beginners guide to Falconry." by Perrin t'Bashere Aybara

 

"A Pinch and a Giggle: a collection of the forgotten dances of the Third Age" by The Prince of Ravens (Matrim Cauthon)

 

"A Cup of Tea: how to become as calm, cool, collected, and utterly reasonable as I am." by el'Nyneave ti Almeara Mandragoran

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Confessions of a Sociopath Social Climber- Kamarile Maradim Nindar/Graendal

The Purpose Driven Life- Moiraine Damodred

The Secret of Letting Go- Elan Morin Tedronai/Ishamael (I suppose Graendal could write this also)

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Men Are From Andor And Women Are Just Bloody Crazy by Mat Cauthon

 

'If You Insult a First Sister's Donkey, You Have To Carry a Rock Around the Campsite Ten Times' and 100 Other Made Up Aiel Customs to Use to Screw With Wetlanders by Avienda

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"Set your Soul Free - Tuning into your base, animalistic, instincts" - By Perrin Aybara

 

"A Runners Guide to Randland" - By Gaul

 

"The Cage my Brother Built - A Memoir" - The Dark One

 

"The Long Braid - A commentary on Women's fashion" - Nynaeve

 

"Terrorism 101: Remaining Hidden by Standing in Plain Sight" - A collected works by the Black Ajah

 

"Get to Know What Your Man is Thinking." - An Aes Sedai guide to bonding

 

"Just Boots - A Commentary on Nobility" - By Mat Cauthon

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Penned by Forsaken:

 

The Bonfire of My Vanities - A shared work by 12 of the Chosen. Incidentally, the arguments over whose name should get top billing and who should get the most chapters is the real reason for the infighting amongst them.

 

Without Remorse by Tel Janin Aellinsar.

 

Misery by Nemene Damendar Boann.

 

 

Penned by those dwelling in the Light:

 

Memoirs of a Gai'shain by Faile ni Bashere t'Aybara.

 

Under the Tairen Sun by Caraline Damodred-Sisnera.

 

The Illian and the Odyssey by A. Nonymous Gleeman. Foreword written by Thom Merrilin.

 

A Tale of Two ahem, Bosoms; an early work of Matrim Cauthon.

 

Clear and Present Danger by Moiraine Damodred-Merrilin. Foreward written by Suain Sanche-Bryne.

 

 

Edit: My apology for not paying attention to the thread title, these aren't self help...

Edited by 2RiversFan

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