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Kwom's Quotes

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Note: Anything referring to Tim, Timmothy, or Kwom is me. *nods*



Tim: "I need to get my assassin/thief a really cool cloak. Just imagine it." *actually sneezes, entirely unplanned* "See? I'm allergic to that much awesome."


Tim: "What would you say if I said that I could actually get a dominatrix?"

Genna: "Laugh. And beg for proof."

Tim: "Well, the guitar isn't the only thing that I'll be showing you when you stop by, then. *exaggerated eyebrow raise*"


Tim: "Never trust somebody who can whistle."


Genna: "There's this guy at work that I call 'Creeper McGee."

Tim: "What does everybody else call him?"

Genna: "...Frank."


Rebecca: “Well, then there’s no speculation required. If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck…”

Tim: “It could be a really ugly swan.”


Genna: “I’d prefer he walk around with a gun. *makes gunshot sound* Solved that mystery.”


Danielle: “I want to play my leg!”


Grandpa: “Pterodactyls could fly far; I know, I saw one once. And that was before [the pterodactyls] had rockets.”


Todas: “You’ve never seen snow?”

Kwom: “No, snow is a myth. What I saw was white sand falling from the sky. It gets scared when you touch it, though, and pees itself.”


Tim: “I wish courtship in real life worked like in Skyrim. ‘I see you’re wearing an Amulet of Mara.’ ‘Yep. Let’s get married.’


Tim: “Mr. Cuddlebum is a better name [for a cat] than Mr. Cuttlebum. A mass of tentacles coming out of its butt…”


Heather: “Everybody needs a pet with an exotic name.”

Kyle: “Or an exotic pet with a normal one.”

Tim: “Or an exotic dancer with an animal name? >_>”


*whilst playing Skyrim and being chased by five bears*

Tim: “Hey, bears. Let’s play a game! Whoever loses the most limbs wins!” *whispers* “I think that fooled them.”



*after having been asleep for seven hours, and having already missed the alarm that he set, as well as being extremely exhausted*

Grandma *outside room*: “Timmothy, it’s eleven!”

Timmothy’s errant sleep-addled thought: Do we still have noses?


Erika: “Llamas covered in chocolate syrup.”

Genna “Yes!”

Barbara: “I so want to be there.”

Tim: “No you don’t.”


Heather: “I don't even think smearing hand sanitizer all over the public bathrooms would make it sanitary.”

Tim: “That's because the guys have already smeared something else all over it. >_>”


Genna: “Should I tell her about where the cow came from?”

Robert: “Sure, go ahead.”

Genna: “Well, when you have a mommy cow and a daddy cow…”

Erika: “Oh my God!”


Genna: “Why is it 4 am?”

Tim: “I don’t know. Because Father Time is a whore.”


*in a creepy parking lot while Josh Groban is playing*

Genna: "This is where people get murdered."

Tim: "During love songs?"


Todas: “My character has EIGTYY THOUSAND SNEEK!”

Kwom: “That must be why your game doesn’t work; the programming has forgotten that he existed!”

Todas: “I don’t even own the game.”

Kwom: “Exactly!


Genna: “My straw has a hole in it!”

Tim: *gives her a Really? look*

Genna: “One that it’s not meant to have!”


Genna: *grins creepily*

Tim: *looks hesitantly at Genna* “That was a ‘get in the van, I have candy’ look.”


*whilst playing Skyrim*

Tim: “YES








What do you want from Starbucks?”


Ginger: “Why is everything that Kwom says innuendo?”

Zaerosz: “’Because Kwom’ is just the generally accepted answer now.”


*in Skyrim, after I killed a Novice Necromancer*

Second Novice Necromancer: “I’m going to find whoever did this!” *sits down on dead Novice Necromancer’s face*


*in Skyrim*

Tim: “I am going to be the Thane [of Solitude]. Jumping out of vents and neck-snapping people. It’ll be cool.”


*after a day of technology repeated technology failures*

Tim: “Really Verizon!?!!? I must have raped a baby computer in a past life, or something…


Zaerosz: “Feeding time.” [time to eat]

Kwom: “Good luck.”

Zaerosz: “…what?”

Kwom: “^_^”


Tim: “I swear, I didn't even mean to fistpump.

My arm just kind went up and...yeah.

Get a job at GameStop: Oh, cool.

75 Views on YouTube: Sweet.

Find Glass Dagger in Skyrim: Involuntary fistpump.”


Neo: “Well, using common sense, you could at least deduce that I wasn’t asking him to poke his mouse pad with a condom.”


Blood: “Third thing [i would do if I was God]: Make all my SGB ships come true. And just ship Voren[Zaerosz] and Kwom over and over.

Zaerosz: “I’m asexual you ****.”



*referring to the live Tobuscus Vokle chat*

Tim: “It's like this entire chat is on coke.

And Coke.

At the same time.”


Heather: “The winky face says it all.”

Tim: “Anything that can be said in the exact same manner as a muscle spasm ought to be given a proper degree of skepticism.”


Heather: “Stepping on black tiles is just wrong.

Totally wrong.”

Tim: “Racist!

So white tiles are perfectly fine to step on, is that it?



Umbrie: “Uh-oh, he’s thinking again.”

Kwom: “Why does everybody always say that?”

Umbrie: “Because when you think it leads to you looking for things.

And that leads to Batman eating Pinkie Pie.”


Mom: “He cries when you yell at his poop.”


Blood: “your interest flios more than my opinion if girks lol”

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